Tuesday, July 2, 2013


The Toast Is Ready

Dearly beloved Hairpin pals Mallory Ortberg and Nicole Cliffe launched their new website, The Toast, today, after a "brute force attack" caused some issues yesterday. (The Hairpin has no comment.) What is The Toast?

The Toast is a daily blog that publishes features on everything from literary characters that never were to female pickpockets of Gold Rush-era San Francisco. The Toast is one of those mass-market science fiction paperbacks some used bookstores put out on the street in big press-board rolling carts, the kind with drawings of women in long white robes standing in front of a horizon with two or three moons on the cover.

The Toast is a long email chain about force-ranking the Mitford sisters. The Toast prefers free weights to circuit machines but also enjoys a good sit. The Toast doesn’t care how much you or Marilyn Monroe weigh. The Toast is happy, then dignified. The Toast is not haunted, but would welcome a visit from ghosts.

The Toast will be a wonderful website, but you already knew that. Go check it out and get yourself a commenter account.

54 Comments / Post A Comment


Yay! I'm very glad to see the Hairpin cross-promoting. There's room in our hearts for both of these lovely sites. And I hope the commenting community over there will be as perfect and wonderful as this one.


@iceberg over there I had to modify my name a little because iceberg is already taken :(

icebergmama is me. if your name is different over there tell me!


@iceberg My 'Pin name is apparently too long and complicated so I'm EPWordsnatcher over in Toast Land.


@iceberg What!! Who would've taken your name??


@meetapossum well I use WordPress to log in so it was probably used already before I was iceberg here :)


@iceberg Are we doing names here? I couldn't use a hyphen so I went with my previous internet pseud sophiahelix, same user pic.

Better to Eat You With

@iceberg I logged in with WP and used my real name, which is Victoria, with a little avatar of yellow and gray birds.


@iceberg Mine is Adventure_Club.

Cat named Virtute

@iceberg I was using magpiecalling, but dear patient Nicole told me that my wordpress account broke my author account, so now I'm not sure whether I'll comment through my author account or make a new one. Wahhh.


@iceberg My damn name is too long over there. I am katiemcguil (pretty obvs)


@iceberg I'm going full name with linettedelatour, since apparently just Linette is taken by someone else somewhere on Wordpress.

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

Whoever's using my name over there isn't me. Apparently some person (people?) want to ruin my hard-earned reputation.

Ragged But Right

@iceberg I'm daisymap over there because I intend to use the other side of my split personality.


@Bus Driver Stu Benedict It's probably ghost.


@iceberg Yeah, "fabel" was taken, but "faebl" was not!!

Faebl it is.


@sophia_h Jinxie was taken, so I'm MsJinxie (if you're nasty). Except I'm actually msjinxie because it wouldn't let me add any capital letters.

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher What would the ghost of a bus driver rattle instead of chains? It couldn't be that big change thing because Stu... errr... I am specifically a school bus driver. But then maybe the ghosts' union isn't that strict since how many bus-driving ghosts could there be? (I probably don't want to know the answer to that)




♥ ♥ ♥ this!!!@y

fondue with cheddar

HOORAY! I am so there.




WOO and HOO!

Miss Maszkerádi

TOAST! A toast to the Toast, toast of the town!

Toast toast toast toast toast.

Heheh. Words.

Nicole Cliffe

I was literally four seconds away from giving up and asking for my old job back when we finally won the battle. Thanks, Emma!!!



Nicole Cliffe

@melis (insert entire lyrics to "Goodnight and Thank You" from Madonna's version of Evita.)


congratulations, The Toast! It's nice to have many places to hang out online!


Fun fact: People think the PUA community is behind the attack, but actually it's being orchestrated by an obscure Canadian writer of feminist novels whom Nicole slighted in 2009.


The botnet was configured to deliver 25,000 messages per second that all said "Sorry!"


Also really disappointed they went with reputation score instead of Awl-style commenter numbers. You mean I have to WORK to get a desirable number next to my name?


Is that what all the little numbery doodads are for? Is it a popularity contest where we rack up points by getting people to thumbs up us?


@stuffisthings I'm not a huge commenter by any means, but I'll admit to being disappointed that Nicole and Melis are using a ratings scale. One of the things that I've loved about the hairpin commenting system is the equality of the damn thing - no one has more stars, or a lower number, or any of those signifiers that (in my opinion) act as this weird filtering device and distracts people from the content of the post itself. I'm not surprised that they've chosen to go that route, since I've seen Melis take people down a peg or two for having a high commenting number on the Awl, but it seems to me that on this site at least, the commenting community moderates itself pretty well without relying on such things. But perhaps there's more to it than that, I don't know.


@akrupnik I suspect the comment system and some of the other administrative technical doohickys might be changed in the future -- e.g. comment registration which takes and being logged in which gives you a WordPress dashboard, as opposed to the bespoke system used on Awl network sites which works correctly nearly 2/3 of the time. (Also the typography on the comments looks like ass on my system. <3 you guys!)


Also I would like a system where my maleness is indicated by my comments being in very light grey type or a little penis icon or something. I suspect no less from two such noted misandrists.


@stuffisthings God point (even if you are an evil penis-haver). It IS just day 1.5 - plenty of time to tweak things!


@Jinxie I came here to gently tease you for "god point" but then I noticed my previous comments were one giant ball of grammatical mistakes. Carry on!


@stuffisthings "God point". That's what I get for philosophizing on the spiritual nature of wangs.


WORD. But also, is anyone else having trouble getting to the homepage? I can follow links to individual articles but not the general site :(


@hallelujah I had that problem - clearing cookies/cache things seemed to fix it!

Briony Fields

I was just thinking today how much I miss Nicole (and Jane). Congrats you two!


@Briony Fields Jane. :(

Moonshine Mona Lisa

Congratulations! Looking forward to the new site--both the articles and the comments.

Faintly Macabre

Question: does the name refer to bread toast or alcoholic toast? I need to know if I have an excuse to drink in The Toast's honor.


@Faintly Macabre Yes


KATE HARDING! Y'all got Kate Harding!

RK Fire

OMG, I am so overwhelmed by all of this excellent ladyblog writing!


Weeeeeeeee! Off to make my account.


Yep, yep, yep! Very pleased about it.


Is anyone else having trouble logging in? I created an account and clicked the link in the email, but now when I log in it just refreshes the page and nothing else happens. I want to be in the Toast!


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