Previously: The CrazySexyCool Pie
Ann Friedman actually never gets there first.
ann friedman, pie charts, being late
50% reading Middlemarch on Kindle app
50% Candy Crush
@anachronistique Good for you, I feel like Middlemarch + Candy Crush is the perfect intellectual balance. I couldn't get through Middlemarch. Come to think of it, I'm not really doing that well with Candy Crush either...
33% eye-flirting with anyone even mildly interesting
33% texting husband re boring shit like groceries
34% panicking that maybe I got the date or time wrong
Get rid of FMK and add that 25% to "destroying cuticles," and you've basically got my life.
I totally thought this was going to be a recipe for a magical pie that could be made in 10 minutes. Not that this isn't great, but you know, :(
@bitzyboozer I'm going to pull this out of my ass, but:
1) purchase premade pie crust
2) make pudding
3) put pudding in pie crust
4) shove in freezer to chill for five minutes
I guess you could probably sub out the pudding for ice cream. This would also probably be best with a graham cracker pie crust.
@bitzyboozer My friend makes coolwhip pie. Premade pie crust (if you're getting fancy, make your own piecrust out of oreo cookies. It's pretty easy and fast!). Fill it with cool whip. Put strawberries on top. Freezer for a little while. DONE.
Put Bananas in the pudding mix some marshmallows into some coolwhip and heap on top of the pudding.
sprinkle with coconut
drizzle some chocolate syrup over everything
go wild, pudding in a pie crust is the answer to everything.
Alternately if you are willing to invest like an extra ten minutes Toasted coconut pie crust!
@kangerine If you wanna get fancy, you can make the Jello Cool Whip Pie Ma Jinx used to make back in The Day: Make Jello per box instructions, pour in bowl and let set until it's like...75% set? Set enough that it's definitely not liquid but not so set that you can't mix it up with a tub of Cool Whip (which you've defrosted). Mix the Jello with the CW, then pour into a graham cracker crust and stick the whole lot in the fridge for a bit. If you want to get REALLY fancy you can mix some fruit cocktail up in that mess.
@Jinxie I really love this thread.
@RK Fire I do too, except for how I could really go for some Cool Whip pie right now.
50% voraciously checking Pin comments
50% buying some snack that's terrible for me and bolting it so friend won't catch me eating junk food
Based on the vitriol unleashed by this topic in the past, I'm going to say that there are a fair number of Pinners who would answer:
90% seething in anger about their totally inconsiderate friend who is always always always late
Meanwhile, the late friend's answer is:
100% mentally repeating "shit shit dammit shit, MOVE FASTER, BUS/TRAIN/TRAFFIC!
Full disclosure: I'm the friend.
@SuperGogo As long as you're not the friend who calls/texts and lies about where you are? Like, "I'll be there in 15 minutes" or "I'm passing X-landmark" when really you're not even wearing pants yet?
@SuperGogo I promise not to seethe, because I am that friend who arrives everywhere 15-30 minutes ahead of time TO EVERYTHING, and feels like a complete doofus because of it.
@pajamaralls Now my default late-text is definitely going to be "Sorry, I'm really not even wearing pants yet"
@RubeksCube ME TOO. "On time is late."
@Judith Slutler ha. I hope your friends appreciate the candor. Who really likes putting on pants?
@RubeksCube Thank goodness there are other people like this! I got it from my mom. It's all about caring about other peoples' FEELINGS.
@QuiteAmiable Were you also in band?? That phrase was my middle school band director's mantra. Also my mom's.
@pajamaralls OMG you're friends with Anne too?!
25% checking email on phone
25% checking email on phone again
25% staring at home screen of phone
25% putting phone away, then taking it out to check the time, then automatically checking email again without thinking
25% taking phone out to check time, getting distracted by email, immediately forgetting time upon putting phone away, taking phone out again to check time for real, checking email again just for shits & giggles.
75% thinking about surfing internet on phone, trying, getting bored because phone is old and slow, putting phone away.
100% angry birds. yes, i am currently living in 2008.
@fuck fuck fuck actually there's another pathetic thing i do, so i'll amend that:
90% angry birds
10% checking my texts even though i don't have any notifications because maybe the guy i'm in unrequited love with texted me and there's no notification IT'S HAPPENED ONE TIME OKAY
100% writing aggressively whiny texts to no one/myself, aka "ughh why am i always early why are they always late i really want a drink ugh this bus is a fart wow it is cold outside"—mostly so it looks like I am super sociable and actually texting another person instead of whining to myself via my own cellphone.
@yeah-elle So you're Jeff Winger?
Sadly, I am the friend who is always late. So it's more like 100% sending texts (of varying degrees of truthfulness) about how bad the traffic is. Sorry, I'm trying...
I am the 30%.
30% tweeting and texting other friends about how you f^&%#@g hate when people are late
WHY WOULD YOU HANG UP ON YOUR MOM?
I would die of shame. :(
@Diana Cause your friend arrived!
My mom hangs up on me lots. I guess we call each other to kill time.
@Diana : I assumed that Ann meant the mid-conversation "hey, I just got to the restaurant, I'll call you back tomorrow" that I totally do if I call my mom on my walk somewhere (which she seems cool with, especially if I tell her when she answers the phone that I just had 15 minutes and wanted to say hi or whatever).
@Diana Yes, I wasn't thinking it was just abruptly hanging up-- just a very quick by-your-leave. I love my mom.
Plus, the reception in my apartment sucks, so out-and-about is really the only good time to talk with her.
Refreshing for FOT?
I constantly overestimate how much time it will take me to get to a location, so I'm usually ten to fifteen minutes early (sometimes earlier! I KNOW, right?) and standing around awkwardly trying to project an air of "No, the people I'm waiting for really will show up, I haven't been stood up. Trust me, I am WAY too cool for something like that to happen to me." (Full disclosure: I was stood up by a friend once. We are no longer friends.)
@Heat Signature I hear you. Even when I try to be late I'm still earlier than my friends.
@Heat Signature I do this tooooo and it's the main reason I am late the other half of the time! Like I just can't find a happy medium.
Usually I just take a walk around the block and circle back. Often managing to turn 15 minutes early into 5 minutes late by the alchemy of idk wtf.
@everyone MY PEOPLE
@Heat Signature The only good thing about having friends who are habitually late is I've finally gotten to the point that I don't care what people think when they see me waiting.
@Heat Signature Oh thank God this is a thing, too. I mean, even if I KNOW where something is and how long it takes to get there, something could happen. And I'd HATE to make someone else wait on me. I am forever sitting in my car waiting on someone like a goob.
@Heat Signature Oh, this is me, right here. I spend a lot of time sitting in my car trying not to look like a parking lot creeper while I kill time. I make my one perpetually late friend come pick me up from my house whenever we make plans so I can just creep around my house instead.
@Heat Signature This is why I like to just wait for my perpetually (read: always over an hour) late friend in a Starbucks - there are like eleventy million of them so it's easy to find when near where I'm meeting her, and nobody bats an eyelash when someone is sitting alone in a Starbucks.
I've known this friend for seven years, I have it down to a science.
@cosmia A question about frequently VERY late people: why? I mean, a few minutes, but AN HOUR? Are there are any excuses/reasons offered?
@bevrockin I've pulled this before and the answer is Depression! So, there's that.
@bevrockin She takes an extremely long amount of time to decide what to wear, what makeup to put on, forgets to eat, forgets to take out the garbage, hair straightener broke - she has pretty much zero time management skills but I love her dearly anyway.
@Judith Slutler Damn. I was hoping the answer was Just Being a Selfish Jerk. Sorry.
@bevrockin I distinctly remember a thread conversation on the Hairpin about this ages ago, but I can't find it!
@bevrockin With my hilariously and pathologically late friend, I really think she underestimates how long things are going to take her. I realized this when she told me she'd be at my house in 15 minutes, but the location she was at was easily 30 minutes away on foot, and she hadn't even left yet.
I am the early person. Even when I try to be fashionably late, I am always the first person wherever I'm going. I know I'm annoying! So I always bring reading material. (ABR) (Always Be Reading)
Found it! Be the change, jerks.
@stonefruit It seems from my independent study (haw, haw, haw), that the late people fall into one of two broad categories: excessively poor time management skills or passive aggressive controller. I think most of the late peeps are innocent, but I think some people really just want everyone to know that things start WHEN THEY SAY things start. This may or may not be colored by my own experiences *cough, cough* inlaws *cough, cough*.
@bevrockin Yeah not to be a huge bitch about it, but if someone you care about seems to have major time management problems it might be worth asking them how they're doing in general.
@Judith Slutler This has happened to me more than once. I'll be early for an appointment/meeting/friend date/whatever, and so I'll drive past the location we're meeting at and then somehow something happens and I'm five or ten minutes late. Then I'm all, "Believe it or not, I was early! But then this happened! Really!".
@meetapossum YES, I remember this story now, too!
@Judith Slutler Also, people with ADHD (Hi! I'm right here.) have trouble with estimating distances in time measurements. For example, I'll think it'll only take me five or ten minutes to get somewhere, but in actuality it takes at least fifteen minutes. Conversely, we can overestimate the length of time it will take and wind up being excessively early.
@Heat Signature FOR REAL, it's like "Oh I'm 10 minutes early, I should just take a walk around the block. OH GOD just stepped in dog doo. Let me ask someone for a tissue to scrape this off my foot. DAMMIT DAMMIT got some on my hand, there is a drugstore right there, let me get some hand sanitizer..." etc. I can definitely see how other people end up just standing around waiting, because my life seems to turn into a screwball comedy whenever I try to utilize my early time!
EDIT: and now you've got me wondering if I need an ADHD evaluation because that is my life.
@TheJacqueline Wow, I think a TON of people may suffer from dyscalculia after I read about it. Seriously. Legitimately fascinating. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyscalculia
@Judith Slutler Yes. It's kind of awkward to say that though.... especially when they are already frustrated with you.
Meant this in response to the depression comment.
Maybe the late people have been stood up so much that they are hesitant to get ready, because they don't want to be wearing their clubbing outfit and have their clubbing stuff together if you text them 5 min before the meetup time like "yeah nvm for whatever reason" and then they have to deal with the fact that their clothes have the idea that they are Going Out but irl they have to Stay Home. And then next time they use their purse, it is full of their ID and hopeful condoms and then they cry.
@bevrockin Personally, I show up late to irritate people who are easily irritated by tardiness.
But no, actually, I have begun showing up on time (mostly), but have started to slip back into my old ways of half an hour late because the friends I've been making here are habitually at least an hour late for things. So even when I'm half an hour late, I'm still "early". As a dyed-in-the-wool late person who underestimates the amount of time it takes to do things and who remembers shit that needs to be done at the last minute, it actually does not bother me that much when other people are late, because they're probably in the same mindspace I am. But we're selfish jerks! ahahahahahahahahahahaaa and we love it.
@Inkling So Late People are late because of other late people? It's a vicious cycle!
25% staring at the menu
25% staring at my phone
50% tearing up napkins/tissues/coasters
50% knitting a thing and totally forgetting to look for my friend coming in the door
50% attempting to nurse my first beer of the night rather than drain it within 5 minutes / tearing the label off it
Totally dependent on time of day obviously.
My mother would be much more likely to hang up on ME. The woman is just not a phone talker.
I, on the other hand, would gladly to talk to someone on the phone for hours. I think we are a dying breed though.
@lora.bee My dad is also not a phone talker.
A Real Conversation That Happened Why I Tried To Call To Ask My Dad If He Wanted Me To Bring Anything To My Parents House:
Me: Hi Dad! How's it going?
Dad: Good. Are you joining us for dinner?
Dad: "Oh, good." *click*
Like he did not realize at all that I could have had another reason to call him. Love it.
45% checking The Hairpin and lamenting that it's so hard to comment on my phone.
45% checking The Toast and lamenting that reply links from my email don't work.
10% deleting junk emails
25% destroying my cuticles.
25% texting people/tweeting sad tweets.
50% reading stuff on Kindle/playing games on 3DS. (Never leave home without one of the two!)
It used to be smoking, but now it's playing games on my phone. I've really gotten cooler over the years.
But seriously, smoking was the best for this.
But what if you're waiting for a friend who is always late and very occasionally cancels completely? Do you awkwardly wait outside? Or do you get seated and endure even more awkwardness if she doesn't show? I'm always on the fence about this.
@SmartCookie While doing what? If it's lunch or a movie or something, I would definitely just go in myself and do that by myself. Then tell your friend "too bad you weren't there it was awesome and you missed out." All the awkwardness in this situation is produced by your friend, you are the owner of 0% of it, so wash it right out of your hair I think.
@SmartCookie Bring a book (or electronic equivalent...e-quivalent?). Get seated and get water. At the 30 minute mark, or whenever you give up hope, order a drink and enjoy the heck out of secretly people-watching over your book. Ain't no shame in it.
50% Getting coffee because I don't have time to drink coffee at home because I always have to be on time (it's a disease).
50% Reading my book, because my friends are always late, and I'm well-prepared.
I love sleep, so I'm always late for morning things, but if I am meeting someone after 1 PM I am serially punctual, so much so that I always have my Kindle and my iPod on me at any given moment so that I have various means of entertaining myself. Most of my friends are also the type of people who are all, "On my way, be there in an hour!" when the bar is a half an hour subway ride away and they've only just gotten out of the shower.
50% Silently being thankful that I have a chance to read my book on the Kindle app.
50% Seething irately
@flanhoodles And the subset to the first 50% is:
90% Grateful that no one can tell what book I'm reading.
10% Sad that no cute person will strike up a conversation about the book I am reading.
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