1. Your mother finds you in a bag a stranger gave her. Because you were born deformed, all the children taunt you. One day your mother flies into a protective rage and is locked up in an asylum. Falling under the protection of a manic stage manager, you're miserable until you do some drugs and realize that your deformity could make you a star.
2. You are a genderqueer woman born during wartime. You serve in the army and narrowly escape execution when your identity is found out. Later, your would-be executioner proposes marriage during a dinner party at your parents' house. You accept.
3. You are a mute who lives under the control of a lonely bachelor. You manage to find wives for both yourself and him. You and your wife have children; one day they're abducted in the middle of the night. You find out that a woman in town wants to make coats from their skin. You go out searching for your kids in the dead of winter, and when you find them, they are not alone. You disguise a horde of children in blackface and go home.
4. You are born into a political family. One day your mother is assassinated by a stranger. You're afraid to grow up or to ever love again, but you do both when you realize a childhood friend's turned out to be beautiful and that another man wants her too. You compete for her love and win only to be separated when a natural disaster hits. You look for her in the turmoil; you find her in the flames; a year later, she gives birth to twins.
5. Your uncle wants to kill your father but instead tries to kill you. When your father is killed trying to rescue you, your uncle moves into your house. You leave and it takes you a decade to return. When you do, your uncle confesses; as you tell him that you'll let his offense go, he tries to kill you again. In self-defense, you kill him.
6. You grow up in a small town where you have a juiced-up stalker and nothing in common with anyone. One day your father stumbles upon a madhouse and is held hostage by an ugly, angry man. While attempting to save your father, you fall in love with this ugly man. Your stalker kills him in order to finally win your affections, but the ugly man comes back from the dead, and he's beautiful, and you marry him.
7. You are betrothed to a man with no sense of humor and you fall in love with a man whose friends vaguely intend to kill everyone you know for profit. You save the second man from the first one, later moving to another continent with one of the second man's friends.