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Wednesday, July 17, 2013

27

Fresh Hells

1. Limbo

Hello, Facebook.
Hello, Facebook Silence.

2. Lust

You do not want to go on a second date with that lawyer, just admit it; you only wonder if it’s possible to be fucked out of your loneliness.

3. Gluttony

Is there kale?
There is no kale; all the bins are empty.
You know who else doesn’t have kale?
All those people dying.
What’s wrong with you that you aren’t grateful?
Your cupboards are a cornucopia of all you have that you don’t want.

4. Greed

Sandals with gold straps of a finer plastic, blue necklace, black dress.
For your book to finally be published on some minor but still notable press.
To love someone who loves you back.
Kids, maybe, even if your fertility might be an hourglass as the sand runs out.
An apartment where the faucets do not leak.

5. Anger

The nail salon radio station plays an extended version of “You’ve Got a Friend” the week after one of your favorite friendships ends. The anxiety that comes from terrible music. How much more than stifling the slide towards crying you want to type out “James Taylor can go to hell,” but one hand is in the bowl of water, the other stilled motionless as Lucy paints meticulous red upon your nails. This is probably for the better — you’d have wanted to send the text to the one who isn’t speaking to you now anyway.

6. Heresy

“The soul dies when the body dies” — so say the Epicureans
It took so long to love the body; hating spiders, having spider veins.
Sometimes the body outlives the soul as any late night bar might show you.
I want to believe that something will outlast us, but I’m so often wrong.
There is an actual website called godhelpmeplease.com

7. Violence

Dante counts violence against the self: profligates, suicides
A pack of cigarettes at the bodega costs $14.50.
The night of drinking will run another $35.

8. Fraud

Fraud involves intentional deception: a willfully false representation
that harms the other for personal gain. In this it is different

from mistakes or false cognates/friends; for example, “fast” means “speedy”
or, in German, “almost”; as in, we were swift and almost friends.

9.  Treachery

Those who betray fidelity, confidence or trust
are found star-fished and limbs pin-wheeling
beneath the frozen lake; eyes open, they can stare,

but cannot speak. So saith Dante,
who with his Virgil, climbed down Satan’s ragged fur
to escape. There are so many different paths

to what either person could call betrayal. I would trade
being right for an ice-ax or a bonfire
to loosen the ice-clogged rivers of our throats.

Kate Angus's work has appeared in Indiana Review, Barrow Street, Subtropics, The Awl, Gulf Coast, Court Green, Third Coast, Verse Daily and Best New Poets 2010, among other places. She lives in New York where she is a founding editor of Augury Books and teaches at Gotham Writers Workshop.

Photo via Brian Auer/flickr. 



27 Comments / Post A Comment

frigwiggin

Your cupboards are a cornucopia of all you have that you don’t want.

The truth hurts, man.

Eyre Apparent

I would like to keep this forever and ever.

meetapossum

"Dante counts violence against the self: profligates, suicides
A pack of cigarettes at the bodega costs $14.50.
The night of drinking will run another $35."

Ouch.

gulleyjimson

@meetapossum Either her night is less than two hours long, or she is not drinking in Manhattan.

meetapossum

@gulleyjimson Or she's drinking all night in Queens and had some bartender friends give her some buybacks.

Not that I would know anything about that.

lora.bee

I love love love this.

mysterygirl

Speaking just for myself, I don't think you can be fucked out of loneliness, but you can definitely be fucked waaaay further into it.

meetapossum

@mysterygirl I hear you, lady.

ThatWench

@mysterygirl So much endorse the second half.

On the first, I want there to be an example of it working. A really good, old, FWB situation? I mean, the friendship > the fucking, probably, for loneliness-curing, but the fucking can be part of the friendship?

Barracuda

@ThatWench

I have two close friends and we fuck from time to time. It's maybe once a year or every other year for one of them. We talk on the phone about everything and nothing more often than tossing the sheets. I think it helps that we were friends for about 5 years before sex occurred. The other one, too... friends for about 2 years before scattered clothes. He and I go out, have dinner, have tea... sometimes more, most often not. It's more about the friendship than the sex.

The common thread is a mood of non-possession... of shared enjoyment and connection.

What I'm trying to say is that I think it's possible for sex to be part of a friendship. Just like anything else, it takes work and time and trust.

pinniped

Man, so many beautiful words here lately (ahem the "eat this feeling" posts), I want to save them all - I wish there were a Hairpin anthology I could keep in my bag!

AnalogMetronome

@pinniped hairpin anthology yes!

Laughable Walrus

@AnalogMetronome ...but really if there was a Hairpin anthology, I would buy it. Then read it in bed every night and cry a little bit, but fall asleep feeling alright with the world. Then pass it around to everyone I know. Just saying.

honey cowl

@pinniped YES. Are the editors listening??? Best of Hairpin, make it, I will give you all my money.

Library Ghost

Marvelous. What you write in #s 5 and 9 are surprisingly applicable to me right now, especially when I never could have predicted finding myself in such states at this stage of my life.

Regina Phalange

What a specific, awful feeling that is - knowing exactly who you'd text, and being unable to.

nina!

#5 doesn't necessarily seem like "anger" to me? That said, friend breakups are really awful.

nina!

I am sad that "to love someone who loves you back" is under Greed. For some reason, that particular list gave me all the weepy feels.

Cawendaw

This is my favorite of everything today (take that, breakfast!).

cupcakecore

Between this and the last eating your feelings post the hairpin is nailing it. SO GOOD IT MAKES ME SWEAR IN JEALOUS FRUSTRATION.

martinipie

Fan-fucking-tastic. Thank you, Kate Angus.

christopher hart

It is true that "The soul dies when the body dies" chris hart

nill lee

Speaking just for myself, I don't think you can be fucked out of loneliness, but you can definitely be fucked waaaay further into it.

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