Monday, July 15, 2013


Couples Therapy

Previously: Shellebrate Good Times

Sara Lautman draws funnies and illustrations.

23 Comments / Post A Comment


I LOVE your drawing style. This was terrific. And yay for the happy ending!


@supernintendochalmers Her drawing style is the best. Also everything else.


I love this, I love this. I love how honest & great the reactions are ("what the fuck?" "awesome" to finding out Therapist modeled), just, so great.


"Yes I have flowers for a hand. I'll thank you to not stare."

Also oh no I might end up being a mid-thirties therapist dork in a New York & Co cardigan. Oh no.


It takes a lot to make me log in. Scorpion Therapist did the trick. Scorpion Therapist!!!!!

Um, WTF Interrobang

Sooo, New York & Co cardigans are bad? Shit...


@Um, WTF Interrobang Pssssh, I refuse to believe that. I have so many! Some cuter than others, sure, but they've been good and loyal cardigans for lo these many years.

Um, WTF Interrobang

@MoxyCrimeFighter A girl needs many cardigans and we aren't all on a J. Crew marino-variety budget. I need to hide my arms (and anger) and brave air conditioned office buildings.

Heat Signature

Dansko clogs and big, fuzzy woolen sweaters made by Peruvian artisans (or whatever) are also quite popular amongst the clinician set, for both women AND men. At least they are here in Maine.


I want to be a therapist just so I can dress like one, this opens up whole new possibilities.


@Heat Signature Also, art and history teachers.

My therapist in Boston looked exactly like Gwyneth Paltrow but dressed like an elementary school teacher circa 1996, complete with denim jumpers, nubby turtlenecks, ankle boots, etc. There was chunky jewelry. It was confusing -- this woman is so together! She went to grad school at Boston College! She's tall and LOOKS LIKE THE WOMAN WHO WRITES 'GOOP.'

Yes. Gwyneth Paltrow in your 5th grade teacher's clothing.


"I'll thank you not to stare." So great.

Does couples therapy ever not lead to a break-up?

When my ex and I screened a couples therapist, I asked if she ever advised couples to break up. I was just curious, though the ex took offense to the question. The therapist said no, but that she might ask couples to list what they need from a relationship and then ponder if they are getting that from the other person. (I figured that would be the clue that she thought it wouldn't work, though of course, going to a couples therapist in the first place was the first clue.)

Seriously, though, has a couples therapist ever saved your relationship?

Puppy in a cup

@splendorofmorgan Echo: "Seriously, though, has a couples therapist ever saved your relationship? Me wants to know, too!


@splendorofmorgan {puts on family sociologist hat}Couples therapy has a bad track record b/c most couples use it as a last-ditch effort to save the relationship. Usually one or both partners already has one foot out the door. That's not to say it never works, that just why it doesn't have a very high success rate.{/takes off hat}


@splendorofmorgan I guess it depends how much you have invested in a relationship? My parents, who have been together for 30-something years and have three mostly grown-up children, went kicking and screaming into therapy last year during the WORST time in our family EVER, after my dad fucked up in some major ways, and they are doing amazingly better thanks to it. (I mean -- stil the same people, a lot of the same issues, but they just cope better with it now and are much happier than I've seen them in a long time.)

I mean, no promises they'll never split up but right now it is looking 1000x less likely that 18 months ago.


@splendorofmorgan Couples therapy (paired with individual therapy) helped tremendously in my relationship. We still have different approaches to conflict resolution, but therapy helped us to unpack and better understand them. But to corroborate @chevyvan's point, neither of us had a foot out of the door when we started - it was more like, shit, there is some stuff that needs to be worked out before we can confidently commit our lives to other another. (Admittedly, the couples I've known who have gone into therapy already publicly acrimonious didn't find much success with it.)


@splendorofmorgan Two of my friends went into couples therapy calling it "breakup therapy" ... and THEY are the ones who worked it out, and are happy together now. So it does work, and it doesn't seem to matter what your intentions are going into therapy.
You know, if it's gonna work out ... if you've got compatible personalities and are still sexually attracted to one another ... it's gonna work out. If it's not, it's not. Therapy can just help you realize the truth. It's not magic.

fondue with cheddar

@chevyvan Yeah, friends of mine went to therapy as a last-ditch effort. What she didn't know was that he already had a girlfriend on the side. Kinda makes therapy a pointless waste of time and money, no?


I love my husband so much... I wonder, if we did couples therapy, could I be an even better wife, would we just gloat about how much we love each other, or would it turn me into a step ford wife?

nill lee

I LOVE your drawing style. This was terrific. And yay for the happy ending!

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