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Wednesday, June 5, 2013

75

Does Your Mr. Right Treat You Wrong? Prove It.

Does your fella treat you wrong? Have you ever considered how this could be entirely your own fault? Once again, Stitch magazine (1963) has a quiz with all the answers. (Did you send him a silly card? Why did you do that?).


Previously: Why Did You Lose Him?

Jen Eatson is a woman on the internet.



75 Comments / Post A Comment

Sophia.

I don't even understand what is the correct answer?

Valley Girl

@Sophia. The ones where you're a pushover. He'll never treat you wrong, because you trust him!

Sophia.

@Valley Girl thanks. I thought that was the one that implied he was treating you wrong. so THAT must be my problem!

Amphora

@Sophia. It's hard not to automatically read sarcasm into it...

stuffisthings

And once again I shall focus on the dude's fashion choices: in this case, what appear to be cuffed vinyl trousers and a hair shirt. In which case his BDSM tendencies should have been a dead giveaway from the start, lady!

stonefruit

@stuffisthings First of all that shirt looks to me like it's made out of burlap, but your point stands.

Second of all, lady, someone has chewed off the bottom of your skirt, and not in an even hemline. That may be why someone is treating you wrong (also because you are a woman, so of course it's your fault).

stuffisthings

@stonefruit Well they used the same hatching for his hair and his shirt, I can only assume they are made of the same material.

stonefruit

@stuffisthings Oh, I hadn't noticed that! Good point. (Maybe his hair is made of burlap? No, that's not likely.)

CinnamonSwirls

@stuffisthings But the wrenches are also crosshatched... maybe it's steel?

stuffisthings

@CinnamonSwirls Whether it's steel, burlap, or hair, a lady who matches her heart belt buckle with the heart-shaped clasp on her purse clearly deserves better.

CinnamonSwirls

@stuffisthings She is definitely too classy for him.

jilt

@stuffisthings Is that a purse, or a second set of breasts she's carrying around?

fondue with cheddar

@stuffisthings Back in the day they had pre-made patterns that they would use. I'm not sure if they were rub-on transfers or sheets that they would cut, but maybe the edge is that way because it's a leftover scrap? Or they just didn't like straight edges because they want it to look like it was all illustrated by hand.

Briony Fields

I'm tilting my head at this and trying to figure out how it's different from the "What's your dating style?" quizzes from Seventeen magazine that I was reading ten years ago.

Not much has changed since the '60s, huh?

smidge

@Briony Fields You're Doing It Wrong

allendaniel

Ed sheeran and Sam Smith should do a song together...unless they already have@a

JessicaLovejoy

I just list all the ways he disappoints me. Then I shred the list and put it in his food.

SarahP

@JessicaLovejoy I'm picturing one of those "how to hide healthy food in baked goods" cookbooks, only the masked item is resentment.

Grosses bises

@JessicaLovejoy I must try this!

stonefruit

@SarahP It's like Like Water For Chocolate all up in this piece.

whizz_dumb

@raised amongst catalogs haha I bought my sister a few of those 'fridge magnets a while ago.

raised amongst catalogs

@whizz_dumb I have bought myself too many of them. Halp!

harebell

@raised amongst catalogs

She liked

imaginary men

best of all

(from my fridge magnet collection)

SarahP

@raised amongst catalogs HA! It's real?!

whizz_dumb

@harebell

She always felt better

After a good moan.

SarahP

If you see him flirting with another girl, would you go and join them quietly, sneaking up beind them like the silent nocturnal stalker of prey that you are, your eyes flashing in the darkness, waiting in the dense underbrush near them until one of them catches your scent and tenses in fear, at which point you lunge at the weaker of the two with your claws outstretched and your teeth bared?

Zero points. You are a puma.

JessicaLovejoy

@SarahP OPPOSITE! Puma gets all the points.

adorable-eggplant

@JessicaLovejoy Puma sneaks up on the points and tears them to pieces.

par_parenthese

My stars, sweetie, do you have opinions? Well, for heaven's sake keep them to yourself -- or better yet, just stop having them altogether! Won't life be so much nicer when you've gotten rid of all those pesky "ideas" and "thoughts" and let your Mr. Right take the reins? It's what he needs to do, after all, and it leaves you so much more time to do all those fun, frivolous, feminine things you've been wanting to get around to! Go on, have a nice lunch out with your girlfriends. Just make sure you're home in time to welcome Mr. Right with his favorite drink, a cheerful smile, and a spotlessly-clean house!

Dude, it's like you can't even satirize that shit, it was so bad.

fondue with cheddar

Okay, but I don't understand why I should be mad at my boyfriend for fixing my motorcycle.

RoxxieRae

@fondue with cheddar No kidding! If my boyfriend could even check the oil on my bike, I would let him go out with the boys all he wants!

KeLynn

@fondue with cheddar - Not only fixing, but he's washing it too! I wonder which tool he keeps in that tiny tiny butt pocket.

fondue with cheddar

@KeLynn A single condom.

RNL
RNL

@fondue with cheddar I'd be PISSED if my lovely, doofy boyfriend started taking apart my bike. Give me the tools you're screwing everything up.

whizz_dumb

Are you all saying that those aren't the only 3 ways to react to the given circumstance? You mean there's other ways to behave?

"Stand silently, feeling hurt" is always an option.

par_parenthese

@whizz_dumb No no, there are only ever three ways to behave, just like there are only three types of women: good girlfriends, petulant crybabies, and pushy bitches. Duhhhhh

whizz_dumb

@par_parenthese Okay good. I was starting to think I was being made a fool of. (I started to further play out the role of the ignorant piece of shit who is confused by a woman saying something original and intelligent, but it got unfunny fast.)

par_parenthese

@whizz_dumb Silly, women don't ever say original or intelligent things! I mean, the only reason I even know THAT is because a MAN told me!

whizz_dumb

@par_parenthese I could watch an entire TV series where it's just women sarcastically berating oblivious misogynists. Those scenes are so satisfying.

Sunny Schomaker@twitter

@whizz_dumb As I remember, that series is called "Designing Women".

fondue with cheddar

When he arrives late for a date, do you:
(D) Make other plans.

If he forgets your birthday, would you:
(D) DTMFA

If another boy asks you for a date, do you:
(D) Try for a threesome.

If he had to go away on a long trip, would you:
(D) Go on my own trip.

If you see him flirting with another girl, would you:
(D) Try for a threesome.

After he's upset you, he says he loves you. Would you:
(D) Tell him to fucking act like it or I'll DTMFA.

He breaks a date to go out with the boys. Do you:
(D) DTMFA and go out with the girls.

[sic]

@fondue with cheddar No, the last answer should clearly be:
(D) Tag along and try for an n-some, where n = number of boys in question +2.

fondue with cheddar

@[sic] I thought of that, but in front of the ex? That's a pretty in-your-face revenge style.

[sic]

@fondue with cheddar Oh, I meant, do that instead of DTMFA.

MoxyCrimeFighter

@fondue with cheddar Sometimes in his face is where you need to put it. (Heyooooo!)

fondue with cheddar

@MoxyCrimeFighter I like the way you think!

adorable-eggplant

@MoxyCrimeFighter I regret that I have but one like to give.

whizz_dumb

@MoxyCrimeFighter OH MY...yes please!

whizz_dumb

@MoxyCrimeFighter Better yet: here, let me clear a place for you

MoxyCrimeFighter

@whizz_dumb Something something cleared my place, here's my number::nudge nudge wink wink:: Clearly, I am good at being subtle.

Or in the words of the inimitable Janelle Monae:

"Some callin me a sinner
Some callin me a winner
I'm callin you to dinner
And you know exactly what I mean."

whizz_dumb

@MoxyCrimeFighter I try to save eating out for special occasions--like the sun rising, or lunchtime, or getting home from work.

MoxyCrimeFighter

@whizz_dumb Who doesn't enjoy a post-work, preprandial appetizer and cocktail?

whizz_dumb

@MoxyCrimeFighter Can't say no to a nice spread to stimulate the appetite--and the aperitif is intoxicating, on top of it all. (I should probably stop)

fondue with cheddar

@whizz_dumb DON'T STOP

MoxyCrimeFighter

@fondue with cheddar SECONDED.

@whizz_dumb Oh, for sure - sometimes all you need after a long day is to wet your whistle before diving in to something deliciously warm and comforting.

whizz_dumb

@MoxyCrimeFighter Yes, and those munchies can be insatiable so it's alright to give in to temptation and have a nibble before the entree.

MoxyCrimeFighter

@whizz_dumb Nibbles, big bites - as long as it's a satisfying mouthful. Sometimes it's nice to make a meal just out of appetizers.

fondue with cheddar

@MoxyCrimeFighter Damn, you guys. All this talk makes me want to feast until I pass out. You know...the kind of meal where you unbutton your pants right away because you know damn well you aren't going to be able to make it if they stay buttoned.

cuminafterall

See, from the headline I thought this was some kind of "is your man abusing you?" quiz, but I should have known better, because 1963.

Count Chocula

This is sneaky - the "advice" here for people who checked C is to DTMFA (good), but he's only acting like a jag because you drove him to it (wtf)!!

TheLetterL

Okay, but, technically, 18 points and 10 points ARE "7 and over." To be safe, everyone dump everyone but still stay together. The quiz has spoken.

meetapossum

@TheLetterL I was also sort of thrown off by the writing there as well. "Wouldn't you be happier flying solo?" Yes, quiz, I would.

meetapossum

Wait, so I'm not supposed to sit at home waiting for Johnny Angel to call?

Megasus

"He can NEVER treat you wrong, he has a penis!"

grizzle_bees

Stop acting like a heel, boys!

florabora

How do I half accept a date from another boy?

MoxyCrimeFighter

@florabora Say yes, slap him, wink and bite your finger coyly, slap the other side of his face, and run away.

Miss Maszkerádi

@florabora I think maybe it's like, when you get all flustered but can't quite figure out how to say "FUCK NO!", so you kind of hem and haw and say something like "Aw, I can't this Friday, I have plans, but some other time maybe." Rinse and repeat the next forty times he tries to ask you out until he gets the hint. What could possibly go wrong?!
Source: Um, a friend.

someofmybestfriends

Nowhere in the answers do they ever explain why you should send HIM a silly card when that jerk forgot your birthday!

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