A Guide to Eating Very Particular Feelings
FEELING: The one where you got too drunk at a party and all you want is one cigarette, and someone finds you a cigarette or you go across the street to the bodega to buy 18 cigarettes you’ll never smoke and two you will, and you’re standing slightly apart from everyone and letting the nicotine run down your nerves as the alcohol runs up and you close your eyes and the horizons rush outward until the world inside your head is many times bigger than the one outside, and small on the edge of that vast and incalculable blackness you can almost make out the image of something you want to be.
HOW TO EAT IT: Weird ice cream, maybe blood orange or cardamom. The whole thing. Don’t be coy. Also, go ahead and smoke the rest of those.
HOW TO EAT IT: Wine, Gummi worms, more wine, and the broken-up crackers from the bottom of the Ritz box. More wine.
HOW TO EAT IT: Maybe just like an entire loaf of bread. Put butter on it. Put anything you can find on it.
HOW TO EAT IT: Don’t eat it yet. Just buy about eight pounds of Milanos for later.
HOW TO EAT IT: Straight bourbon until you’re unconscious.
Previously: Romance By You, For You
Photo via julia_manzerova/flickr.
Jess Zimmerman increases the penis joke and Hitchhiker’s Guide reference density of the internet. She tweets a lot about feminism and dogs and stuff at @j_zimms.