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Friday, May 3, 2013

266

This Is a Goodbye Post

Hey, young lovers.

I'm out. No! It's going to be okay. This is the internet, I'm not, like, moving to a new city your parents won't want to drive you out to on the weekends. And I've written a rambling books post for you that will be up later this afternoon, so this is not The Last of Nicole for today, even.

Where am I going? Well, on July 1st, Mallory Ortberg and I are launching our own site. You'll hear more about it later. Leaning in, following your dreams, etc.

I've loved my time here so much, and I want to thank all of you for reading my work, and I especially want to thank Edith Zimmerman and Choire Sicha and Alex Balk, who have been relentlessly kind and supportive of me in every possible way, including my very-recent decision to venture out on my own, like one of those starfish it's supposed to be worth your effort to toss back into the ocean in inspirational email forwards from 1998. If Mallory and I can make a site that comes close to being as good as this one is on a mediocre day, I'll be very, very happy.

Not to dork out completely on you, but I genuinely feel like we've, um, become friends over the last two years, so, thank you, again, for everything.

xoxoxoxo
Nicole

P.S. In the meantime, you can always find me on Twitter and Tumblr and nicole dot cliffe at gmail dot you know how this works.

P.P.S. I really wanted to pretend that Edith fired me for the Lannister picture, but my commitment to performance art waned at the last minute.



266 Comments / Post A Comment

Emby

WHAT WHAT WHAT D:

Edith Zimmerman

Nicole, you are my moon and stars.

Anne Helen Petersen

@Edith Zimmerman Nicole, I like you more than that moment in this week's Nashville. I like you more than S02E03 of Misfits. I like you more NEGRONI SEASON. The Hairpin loves you and will miss you, and your wit and pictures of your baby, so much.

redheaded&crazy

@Anne Helen Petersen HOLY SHIT HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I WATCHED S02E03 of misfits today and yesterday.

this post is psychic.

Alli525

@Edith Zimmerman One might say she... is the moon of my life!!

#GoTpin4eva

cosmia

@Alli525 MY SUN AND STARS

Knowsey

Noooo. And, yessss! Tears and congrats.

iceberg

great now I 'll have two tabs to keep obsessively checking instead of doing work. <3 u Nicolieeeeeee!

iceberg

@iceberg also, this is not good news for the Pin, I hope it is not affected too badly because I love this place (was not lying when I said I credit the PInwith the last remaining shreds of my sanity)

Jinxie

@iceberg We need more commentors to contribute posts! Your bergie bits stories are fantastic, and I know for a fact there are other smart/funny peeps around here.

Jinxie

@Jinxie Of course, what will happen is THOSE new commentor/contributors will get big and leave us and we'll be sad all over again.

parallel-lines

@Jinxie I wish I could! I don't know if I'll have time but I've got expertise on things like ruining your life by quitting your high paying finance job to go to an intensive nursing program in one of the worst hospitals in the city (best known for being the place to go if you get shot!). I guess I'll also have stories about how to party when you're really really poor because I'm about to be there in two weeks. Oh, and I'm not technically a "writer" so that's not really of much help 'eh?

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@iceberg Santana for everything.

cosmia

@Jinxie I have thought about maybe submitting something one day but I am paranoid I'm not good enough!

iceberg

@cosmia doooooooooooo itttttttttttttttttttt what's th worst that can happen, it doesn't get posted? It's not getting posted right now!

cosmia

@iceberg I WILL IT'S JUST UP TO THE PIN'S USUAL FLAWLESS STANDARDS YET

Bittersweet

@cosmia Do it! Edith is really really nice about rejections, which are worded so well that your soul doesn't shrivel up into a ball of lint. Not that I'd know anything about that... *cough cough*

melis

@cosmia You ARE smart enough, you ARE good enough, and doggonit, people like you.

terrific

@cosmia On another note, I submitted something to the Pin once and never got so much as a rejection notice SOOOooo... at least you might never know if it's up to standards or not?

Regina Phalange

@iceberg "It's not getting posted right now" - OH MAN, can you write an entire post around that sentiment? Blowing my mind over here.

Tulletilsynet

Boohoo! -- Okay but how will I know which is the real site and which ones are the anticipatory tribute sites?

Bittersweet

Nicoooooolllllle...don't leave us! *stifled sob*

That being said, I'm very excited for you and Mallory, and can't wait to see your new site.

(There had better be baby pictures. And A Ghost update.)

SarahP

@Bittersweet These are exactly my sentiments. Especially about the baby pictures.

iceberg

@SarahP yessssss baby pics!

Emby

OK to soften this horrendous, no-good-very-bad blow, I will imagine that this is Nicole and Melis leaving:

:'( Farewell, farewell! I will have more thoughts about this further in the comments, I am sure. I am just sighing a lot at the moment.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Emby
But... but on further inspection there are THREE dogs in that picture! who is the third dog??

Emby

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll I NEVER NOTICED THAT ONE. That is, uh... Chris Roberts@facebook?

Faintly Macabre

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll And which dog is which? Is Melis or Nicole taller? And which of them is dirtier?

Emby

@fondue with cheddar Ugh, you're right. I don't know how I missed something so obvious.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Emby
Remind me never to let you look after my dogs!

"No dude, you only ever had two."

evil melis

oh i wont be going anywhere

fondue with cheddar

@evil melis I honestly did not notice until this very moment that your userpic is different than your non-evil twin sister's.

Dirty Hands

@fondue with cheddar WAIT HOW?

sunfastrose

@fondue with cheddar OMG - you are right! SO subtly different. Wow.

bitzyboozer

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Oh god. Prophetic!

parallel-lines

Is this like when mommy and daddy got divorced and had shared custody? Are you going to be the cool parent who offers me unlimited McDonalds and Dairy Queens trips in an effort to buy my love, or will you be the parent who buys a motorcycle and curates a ponytail in an effort to "get in touch with my mojo"?

melis

@parallel-lines It will be like this: our Father's house has many rooms; we go to prepare a place for you.

melis

Oh good good the site's not even built yet but I'm comparing us to Jesus. That's, that's good, probably, somehow.

@melis Are you there, Father Yod? It's me, Melis.

parallel-lines

@melis When you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you...to Dairy Queen so you could get a peanut buster parfait. Make sure and tell your mom about it!

(sometimes I like to picture Jesus as one of the Baywatch lifeguards just carrying everyone everywhere because why not? Walking on sand is really hard!)

cminor

@parallel-lines But apparently good for the calves and butt? Idk that's what I tell myself when I flop down prematurely at the beach.

Bittersweet

@parallel-lines "curates a ponytail"?!?!?

Danzig!

@Bittersweet if you ever had a ponytail, you'd understand

parallel-lines

@Bittersweet THAT'S RIGHT

Bittersweet

@wearing one right now. Def. more "spontaneous" than "curated."

@parallel-lines WORST.CURATED.HAIRSTYLE.EVER.

melis

*places daisy chain solemnly on your head*

The slumber party shall never end.

parallel-lines

@melis Okay um cool but can someone please let me down?!

stonefruit

@parallel-lines light as a feather, stiff as a board

stuffisthings

Good bloggers never die, they just force you to follow more shit in your already-full RSS reader.

laurel

Thank you, Nicole!

laurel

Oh right, celebratory gifs.

iceberg

@laurel "Oh Bwunhiwda, you're so beautifuwwww" "Yes I know it, I can't help it!"

Dancercise

@iceberg
Wuv wike ours must beeeeeeeee
Made for you and foooooor meeeeeeeeee

PatatasBravas

How I feel about the Cliffelis site:

Hilary Lehman@twitter

Nicoooooooooooooole. :(

I'd try to say something witty but that's all I can muster.

pterodactgirl

Oh my gosh, Nicole! Congrats on the new venture, but you will be very greatly missed here. Although you led me to the Hairpin, so I'm sure I'll be reading you where you go next. Still, a sad day! But happy...but also sad! Change, ahhhhhhh!

antipretty

I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS

MY WORLD IS CHANGING AND I DO NOT LIKE IT

also i'll just continue to follow you on Twitter xoxoxoxoxo

whizz_dumb

@antipretty I was thinking something similar: I AM CRIPPLED WITH THIS FEAR OF CHANGE

Lately I've been jokingly saying this or the likes when I actually start to dread changes, and it helps me embrace change because it gets the overly dramatic and pathetic shit out there and then I have to make up for it by getting brave and optimistic. It's my self-imposed reverse psychology pep-talk chant.

Jocasta Carr

Nicole! Even though I'm mostly a lurker, I've loved reading your work ever since I discovered the Hairpin, and I'll miss your voice on this site a lot. Can't wait to see what you and Mallory create together!

fondue with cheddar

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Though really I know I'll just see you again on your new site. GOOD LUCK MAKE IT HAPPEN SOON PLEASE

JanieS

Congrats on the new venture!

:bursts into tears:

hallelujah

NOOOOOO. But also YESSSSS another site to reference obsessively!

Real talk, though, you are so, so great, Nicole. Your writing made me feel better about becoming a mom and all the shit that goes with it than anything else I've ever read. I can't wait to see what y'all have up your wonderful sleeves!

iceberg

@hallelujah yes, all of this. honesty in parenting is my new mantra because of Nicole!

TheBelleWitch

@hallelujah Right? I hope this will change the ratio of my conversation starters from 100% "So I saw on The Hairpin..." to only 50% "So I saw on the The Hairpin..." and 50% "So I saw on Nicole and Melis' site.."

breccia

Wow!?! A new site for Nicole and Melis sounds amazing but also I am sad! Excited but melancholy!! So conflicted! I feel a Tommy Wiseau moment coming on!

You are TEARING ME APART, NICOLE!

JanieS

@breccia Why,why, WHY!

Linette

@breccia These are my conflicting feelings exactly. NO don't leave us but also WHAT YES Melis and Nicole together in madcap adventures.

aubrey!

@breccia YAY new site. BOO not till July! YAY new opportunities. BOO no Nicole on the Hairpin.

katiemcgillicuddy

Cliffe, I got really upset for a minute reading this and I fell down and I died, but then somehow I got back up and I read the part where you said Mallory Ortberg and I are launching our own site and I became immortal and did this:

@katiemcgillicuddy We need to write a song like 'Candle in the Wind,' but 5,000 times better.

Emby

@S. Elizabeth It's a dangerous game to tinker with perfection.

katiemcgillicuddy

@S. Elizabeth She was an animal, a legend, a friend. She was our beacon of light. She was Hairpin's horse. In what is surely the most monumental news to come out of The Hairpin since the eradication of smallpox in 1993, it is with sorrow that we report: Nicole Cliffe is leaving. But she will never leave our hearts and our memories.

katiemcgillicuddy

@katiemcgillicuddy (I believe this quote came off the Pawnee website, not the show)

Decca

@S. Elizabeth

Goodbye Mallory
Though we never knew you at all
You had the wit to endear yourself,
While commenting at The Awl
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
You set them all on fire
While your Ghost texts brought you fame

And it seems to me you lived online
Like a hairpin in the wind
Demonstrating water-drinking
As the rain sets in,
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
The hairpin tumbled down before,
Your legend ever did

Nicole Cliffe was tough
The toughest mom you ever knew
Choire created a superstar
With Classic Trash and Doctor Who
Even when you left us
Oh the comments still hounded you
All the Pinners had to ask
Was what books to read anew?

And it seems to me you lived online
Like a Hairpin in the wind
Ragging on Sorkin’s Newsroom
As the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
The hairpin tumbled down before,
Your legend ever did

Goodbye Nicole and melis
Though we never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourselves
While those around you sobbed
Goodbye Nicole and melis
From the young commenter in the 22nd row
Whose grief has taken the form of a with
That looks…like… Marilyn Monroe

*sob*

Decca

@Decca Grief has taken the form of a witch, goddamnit. Typos through my tears.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Decca I wish I could shake your hand right now.

SarahP

@Decca **slow clap** AMAZING

cosmia

@katiemcgillicuddy I MADE THIS EXACT FACE

katiemcgillicuddy

@cosmia I KNOW. It's literally what I did!

Verity

@Decca You are brilliant.

raised amongst catalogs

I think this is great news and I look forward to the new site. That is all.

stonefruit

Welp, my productivity is about to go further downhill. As if obsessively refreshing this website weren't enough! But no, for serious, looking forward to reading The Further Adventures of Nicole Cliffe and melis. (dot com) (DOT COMPLICATED)

HeyThatsMyBike

@stonefruit BURN IT WITH FIRE DOT COM

HeyThatsMyBike

Sad that you are leaving, but glad that you are not leaving us without your e-voice for long! I hope much cross-linking will happen.

idle_days

First Jane, now this. It's like everyone is leaving the party just when I showed up. (to be fair, I mostly sit in the corner and lurk)

Cat named Virtute

But but but your book posts and the Cancon and Nicoooooooooole don't leave us but also obviously your new site is going to be the tits ahhhhh this is too many feelings for a Friday morning!

aphrabean

HEYYY I went to your Tumblr for the first time because I am confused by new plaforms always, and you love Sam Irby, too! (But, like, who doesn't, right?) Sam is the BEST. So my discomfort with impending change is mitigated by my delight, and I look forward to your forthcoming ventures. Wheee! Sam! Nicole! Mallory!

teaandcakeordeath

NOOOOOOOOO!

teaandcakeordeath

@teaandcakeordeath
By which I mean I have loved pretty much every word Nicole has written on this website and think she is the best and wish her well.

teaandcakeordeath

@teaandcakeordeath
But NOOOOOOOOOO dont leave us!

teaandcakeordeath

@teaandcakeordeath
This is how I feel

sceps yarx

@teaandcakeordeath you posted my spirit-gif!

cuminafterall

I am imagining a site where Melis will write political fanfic based on Nicole's analysis of readers' top three books. I am very, very okay with this.

But I will miss you here! So, so much.

melis

@cuminafterall WELL YEAH OF COURSE WE'RE GONNA DO THAT NOW

redheaded&crazy

@melis yes i second third fourth the request for more political fanfic

fondue with cheddar

iceberg

@fondue with cheddar

packedsuitcase

@iceberg Sad Stich is The Saddest.

Valley Girl

@fondue with cheddar

City_Dater

Congratulations! I cannot see this as anything but good news, since now there will be even more cool things to read online!

leonstj

everytime i hear the phrase young lovers i think of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFSmkY1hOsE & how it's the best springtime song ever.

(nicole your horsey should get a twitter too i really like the horsey stories a lot (i mean i like them all, but HORSEYS!))

meetapossum

@leon s This is exactly what I heard in my head when I read that line.

Also, Astral Weeks, probably the most perfect album ever.

leonstj

@meetapossum - i'm leaving the hairpin comments to start a blog where there's only one post and it's like, "hey, isn't van morrison great? van morrison is great."

and then the comments are just thousands and thousands of comments of me talking about how much i love van morrison & telling stories about things listening to van morrison makes me daydream about or things in my life that happened listening to van morrison

meetapossum

@leon s I would subscribe to this blog.

brb, going to listen to Astral Weeks on a loop for the rest of the day.

leonstj

@meetapossum - its basically just gunna be "one time me & some girl were listening to moondance at a gazebo and made out" infiniti times

(astral weeks sooooo good. have you ever read the lester bangs review? - https://personal.cis.strath.ac.uk/murray.wood/astral.html - so good)

meetapossum

@leon s Mine would be like, "Had a picnic, danced around to 'Sweet Thing' in a field of yellow flowers."

I have not! I will read it during lunch.

flanhoodles

@leon s I saw Van Morrison play live and he helicoptered in 3 minutes before he went onstage and helicoptered out while his band was still playing. It was the best.

meetapossum

@flanhoodles OH. That reminds me. I was talking with my friend about Van Morrison when he said, "Oh, Van Morrison. You little ginger nugget of musical wonder."

It is the best description of Van Morrison I have ever heard.

sarah girl

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@sarah girl Hahahahaha "Kitty."

Shara

@sarah girl That movie makes me cry like a little baby. Kitty!

breccia

oof. my (overly) heartfelt email to nicole last month when she told me big changes were coming.

:'(

Ellie

Slapped in the face by the long tail of the internet!

fruiting body

I'm torn about this because I hate change and love the Hairpin, but as someone who stalks your twitter and tumblr in addition to this site, I am also SO excited to see what comes next. <3 u (and melis and Edith and the 'Pin)

lobsterhug

Oh my lord, a website that combines my two favorite people on the internet. I die.

PatatasBravas

By corner, they mean "internet":

Jinxie

@PatatasBravas This gif is magic.

stonefruit

@PatatasBravas This .gif makes me think you know that, for whatever reason, my work computer is actually allowing me to see .gifs today. THANK YOU.

melis

I just know there's an Iron Giant gif that works for this, but I can't think of what it is.

mynamebackwards

@melis the iron giant turns me into a quivering puddle of snot and tears, so this would probably not be the best time to go there. "I am not a gun." UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

deepomega

@melis Just spent 15 minutes trying to find a gif of the various body parts crawling away through the snow to reassemble from the very ending, so I hope you're happy

anachronistique

@Dancercise WHY WOULD YOU POST THAT

sceps yarx

@katiemcgillicuddy *sob sob*

Nicole Cliffe

All I have ever wanted is to have a bunch of people say nice things about me in one place that I can obsessively refresh. You have set me free.

(takes sip of champagne, dies, Will Forte hands out gift bags)

iceberg

@Nicole Cliffe You deserve every word and every pixel, girl.

melis

@Nicole Cliffe OK actually, he tells the guests to pick up their gift bags at the coat check. Is this kind of sloppy inattention to detail going to be characteristic at the new site? You'd better start twirling, and fast.

parallel-lines

@Nicole Cliffe

(I want two gift bags!)

Beaker

@Nicole Cliffe Does that make us all Jenna Maroney, twirling and doing the jitterbug for you?

You know we've always reminded ourselves of a young Grace Kelly.

Jinxie

My main consolation in all this is that at least Nicole and Melis aren't leaving the Hairpin for a Gawker Network site. (First Jolie, then Ken Layne from the Awl! Damn you Gakwer! {shakes fist})

Jinxie

@Jinxie And, ok, my other main consolation is that they're running away to start their own website which will surely be awesome whenever it gets up and running. (But what do we do in the meantime, guys??)

Linette

@Jinxie OH MY GOD WHAT IF THEY RECRUIT JOLIE?!?!?!?!

Jinxie

@Linette

parallel-lines

I spent at least four hours listing to the Quiet Storm on WBLS last night and I am prepared to break it down to you R&B style if it will change your mind...girl, just wait. I'll be better. I promise! Just don't leave! Please baby please!

parallel-lines

@parallel-lines Or just the guys in this video do it for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2TuEo6HSzc&feature=player_embedded

Lily Rowan

@parallel-lines OMG THAT IS THE MOST AMAZING THING.

Daisy Razor

I am in real life clutching my hands to my chest. Well, not right now, because I'm typing, but I was while I read your post. NICOLE. HOW CAN YOU LEAVE US? (Until July 1, when you will be back with Melis, even.)

Good luck with everything! I wish I could hug you through the internet.

Inconceivable!

Nooooooooooooooo

but also

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

redheaded&crazy

July 1st is gonna be the BEST CANADA DAY EVER NICOLE!

You did that just for Canadians eh? :') <3 :')

zamboni

@redheaded&crazy 1. A+ observation 2. I hope there is a plan to maintain the Cancon of this website

zamboni

WHAAAAAAT??? (very original reaction, of course)

A sad day for The Hairpin, a great day for a near-future timeline of the internet being incredible.

eiffeldesigns

First Jolie, now Nicole. Could 2013 get any worse?

sarah girl

@Kirs And Jane!

SarahP

I'm glad you didn't actually pretend Edith fired you because I am the most gullible person in the world and would have been all >:O

franceschances

I am not legitimately near tears at my desk because of a website. Nope. No siree. Not me. Someone else.

(But seriously, I am super excited for the new site!)

Lily Rowan

Congratulations. How wonderful.

(No, but seriously congratulations.)

Oh, squiggles

The new site is a piece of much needed good news! I soooo look forward to it!

But...this doesn't seem to bode well for the 'Pin. We've lost Jane, Jolie, Nicole, and Mallory all in a fairly short period of time. And reading the writing on the wall, it looks like the advice columns are in the process of being dismantled (possibly sold for parts). At a certain point restructuring starts to look like dismantling, and I'm wondering(worried) that means the Hairpin is on the way out. If that's true I'm really going to miss the feeling of community. Everyone is great, and now I have all the feelings, mostly the sad.

Jinxie

@Absurd Bird We'll always have Friday Open Thread!

leonstj

@Absurd Bird - It could be great though! It's been the same person at the top of the masthead forever. All of the Awl sites have a lot of turnover over the years, in terms of contributors, mostly because they're fantastic at finding great under-heard voices and giving them a spot to say, like, anything.

It's fantastic for the contributors/former editors- it's so nice to see their hard work and development here rewarded & to see them move onto new things - and even business type people too! David Cho was like, the OG business guy at the Awl, and now he's one of the main business type dudes at Grantland, which, while not perfect, is by far the best thing ESPN has ever done.

When I look around somewhat more mainstream internet medias, I'm constantly seeing little snippets that show that "bigger league" reporters/editors are DEFINITELY reading theawl ntwk sites, and i'm gonna miss people who go, but in the end i think it's the best for us as readers - we get new places to go & read great shit that the awesome people we discovered here start doing when they leave, and things might 'change' here but i feel like it's really just continuing cycles of new, not yet known people coming up to entertain/inform us more.

wallsdonotfall

@Absurd Bird I hear your concern, but when the advice columns became frequent and popular, they replaced older features in a similar "dismantling" process. The HP is still great! Who wants to read (or, honestly, edit) the same thing over and over for years? Shaking things up will introduce new things to be excited about, both here and at these brand-new ventures.

Bon voyage, Nicole.

edited to respond to Leon's post: it's true that the HP has always had the same head editor, and Edith has been GREAT at bringing in talent. So even if someday Edith herself leaves (which, nooooo! but also, we want everything good for you, Edith!) the site would be in good hands.

Scandyhoovian

@Jinxie We will always have the FOT! The question is will the rest of the weekly content be as compelling as it has been to this point. I have high hopes for the 'Pin, but I'm also really bad at change, and there's been SO MUCH CHANGE lately that I'm concerned. :(

Jinxie

@leon s That is a very mature/wise/grown up way to look at it.
Dammit.

Lily Rowan

@leon s Yeah, I'm OK with this being the out-of-town tryouts (or AAA ball or whatever metaphor actually makes sense), ESPECIALLY if it means we get to stay somewhat under the radar, at least to the extent that the comments are basically troll-free.

I mean, I miss F,M,K on here, too, but don't begrudge Julie Klauser her success, either!

katiemcgillicuddy

@Absurd Bird If that happens, we'll just descend upon the Ortberg/Cliffe madness. but also, edith never leave us

BosomBuddy

I'll add my voice to the chorus and express my sadness that you're leaving the Hairpin. So much change, so soon! However, I'm really looking forward to your new site with melis.

Miss Maszkerádi

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

I HATE CHANGE.

But, paradoxically, I also love new things.

So big hugs and lots of luck to Nicole and Melis, and may the new site hurry up in being launched!

Angry Panda

@Miss Maszkerádi Ah, this is exactly how I feel too.

pimentinha

@Miss Maszkerádi Word. Thirded so much. Good luck you guys!

whizz_dumb

I am excited for and very curious about this website. What is it going to be (and will they accept submissions from A Dude HIRE ME)? Time will tell, or Nicole and Mallory will tell.

iceberg

@whizz_dumb all right but you have to let them give you makeovers.

honey cowl

I can't even with this!

OneTooManySpoons

My initial reaction was devastation, but I'm incredibly excited to see this new site. It will be awesome. But OH GOD I'M STILL SAD.

Scandyhoovian

Scandyhoovian

really though congratulations on the new blog endeavor with melis and I will follow you wherever you go but omg the 'pin is so different now from when I first got here and it makes me sad. THERE IS SO MUCH CHANGE LATELY. THIS ALARMS ME.

par_parenthese

@Scandyhoovian This gif paradoxically cheers me up so much every time someone posts it. I mean, I just like looking at his face, ok?

Miss Maszkerádi

@par_parenthese It's like "Oh, poor Sad David Tennant, it's okay, come here, let me make it all better for you."

Scandyhoovian

@par_parenthese it wouldn't be Doctor Who-ey without a paradox!

par_parenthese

@Miss Maszkerádi "Let me comfort you. With my vagina." (Too far?)

paper bag princess

Well, how am I supposed to know what books to read between now and July?????

This is the best/worst news, I love both Nicole and Edith equally!!

BethroTull

@paper bag princess Yep! I love all of Nicole's work, but the book posts are the best. I am really hoping there will be lots of book stuff on her new site.

Angry Panda

I don't know what to feel. Happy about the prospect of another website to check obsessively, but sad that The Hairpin is losing two great contributors. Good luck, Nicole and Melis!

PatatasBravas

Until July 1st?

Jinxie

@PatatasBravas I know! That am I supposed to do for the next two months? Surely you don't expect me to just...work?

lasso tabasco

Good luck, Nicole and Melis! I would follow you anywhere!

But Edith, I will never leave you/the 'Pin! What's the plan now?

Jolie Kerr

OH THANK GOD. Now I'm not Abandoning Her Children In A Rural Wal*Mart enemy number 1 any longer. Enjoy your new role Nicole!

(Okay but really best best best of luck to both my dear friends on this wonderful new venture!!)

cosmia

WEEPING HYSTERICALLY

Although "Well, on July 1st, Mallory Ortberg and I are launching our own site" is the most beautiful sentence in the English language. Maybe even more beautiful than "Cellar door", TAKE THAT DREW BARRYMORE.

3penny


With that gut reaction out of the way, hurrah, congratulations! And may I be the first to ask that Bella be a guest contributor to the new endeavor? Because OTTB BRAINS HOW DO THEY WORK.

wee_ramekin

@3penny This GIF.....yes.

SarcasticFringehead

@wee_ramekin he real purty.

wee_ramekin

@SarcasticFringehead Hahaha, I more meant that I identify completely with the gut-reaction part of it. But yes, Tom Hiddleston is rul, rul purty.

SarcasticFringehead

@wee_ramekin See, I was going to say something along those lines, but the more times I watched the gif, the less capable I was of, like, words or whatever.

sceps yarx

@SarcasticFringehead word.

special_boots

edith i have online journalism experience AND books experience
call me edith
i been sayin' it
edith how come you never pick up when i call
edith your hair looks nice today
edithhhhhhhhhhhh

Jinxie

@special_boots AHEM: "If you'd like to submit original, unpublished content, please do (submissions@thehairpin.com)! Send us a detailed outline or draft of what you'd like to write, either as a Word document or in the body of an email (1,000 words is a good maximum to aim for, although we're very flexible on both ends). For personal essays, a first draft is preferable."

From the "About" page.

Submit something!!

breccia

@special_boots edith do you want someone to write about really nerdy things
and also be your friend
edith

special_boots

@Jinxie You're right. That's probably the obvious way to start. I suppose my creepy poems don't count... (but I'm so good at them!)

special_boots

@breccia edith i'm really good at fishtail braids
and i have a lot of fun nail polish colors
edith

cuminafterall

Oh P.S. HIRE JIA

par_parenthese

@cuminafterall TOTALLY HIRE JIA

Mae
Mae

@cuminafterall OH YES

Kristen

@cuminafterall I've been sayin it and sayin it: HIRE JIA!

aphrabean

@cuminafterall JIA!!!

EpWs

@cuminafterall SERIOUSLY WHY HASN'T THIS BEEN DONE YET

StandardTuber

TAKE ME WITH YOU. Not that I'm "leaving" The 'pin, but you know in general I would love to contribute, if that's even possible since I don't know what your site is going to be about except probably awesomeness.

cat o'clock

I gave up lurking and created an account just so I could add my voice to the chorus of how this is the bestworst thing to ever happen EVER.

Janesy

I'm primarily a lurker here, but awwww maaaaaan. I enjoy your writing, dammit. But also excited for the new venture and I look forward to seeing it.

atipofthehat

.

SuperGogo

@atipofthehat Is that the speck that's left of your heart? Is it your flea of despair?

atipofthehat

@SuperGogo

She rests. She has travelled.

flimflannery

Congrats! I will follow you! I came to the Hairpin from Lazy Book Reviews and will now go where ever. dressage and texts from book characters forever!

TheLetterL

Whaaaat? Noooooo. Nooooooooooooooooo forever. Or at least until July 1st. Then yesssssss.

Mae
Mae

Nicole, you are the BEST.

toastandjam

Nicole! Goodbye, good luck, I'll see you July 1st! Which as you know is Canada Day, so, that's a lucky day to launch!

frigwiggin

:(

noooooooooo

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin That's not very supportive of me, I'm sorry.

Forward, not backward! Upward, not forward! And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

laurel

@frigwiggin This. This is the only gif.

frigwiggin

Wait, wait, I can find a relevant Achewood strip for this.

Aw, why learn Chinese just to go bug a guy!

You guys are our old couch, is what I'm saying.

breccia

@frigwiggin ILU

fondue with cheddar

@frigwiggin <3<3<3

Did the dog have a lot of problems on Nicole and Melis?

Setec Astrology

A vote for Jane Hu, if she wants the job. (And good luck, Nicole and melis! How many "women's sites" are boys allowed to follow?)

evil melis

@Setec Astrology NONE ALL MALES WHO DARE TO READ US WILL BE CONSUMED BY A MISANDRIST SPIDER ARMY

Danzig!

@evil melis finally, a site that serves my interests

wee_ramekin

Nicole, I'm so glad I got to know your work (and - it feels like - you) through The Hairpin. Let's raise a toast to the inevitably awesome site that you and Mallory will create.

frenz.lo

Well, I can't say that I care for this a bit.

frenz.lo

@frenz.lo OK, maybe a bit. I care for the "new internet project with Mallory Ortberg" bit.

Danzig!

I was sort of hoping melis was getting a more prominent Gawker gig but this is x100 better.

We'll miss you Nicole, I suppose not in the sense that you're going going but in that things won't be the same w/o yr consistent voice.

I'm playin this song but all the lyrics are gender-switched and it's about hairpin editors: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVP5xfA3dw8

thebestjasmine

Nicooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooole. Oh my the Hairpin will never ever be the same. I am excited for [name of the new site here, wheeee], but WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO UNTIL JULY???

Danzig!

@thebestjasmine rent out a cabin in the woods and write a clutch of sad songs in seclusion

Slapfight

I am almost weepy. Good thing my body's 95% dust. Nicole, thanks for leaving us with two Jaime Lannister posts. Now I have other reasons to feel things when I look at his pretty pretty face.

Megasus

BEST OF LUCK NICOLE!!!

straw hat

I have too many feelings to come up with something witty or even coherent so I'll just add my voice to the chorus : NOOOO but also YAY!

Mrs. Grundy

Nooo! But, in addition: YES! Start that website! Your followers will be legion.

Verity

Like everyone else here, I will miss you and your posts a lot. But the new site is very exciting, so yay for that. Good luck!

Little_Lakes

Way to go! I'll miss you here, but am looking forward to your new site.

PistolPackinMama

Congratulations, @melis and @Nicole! I am looking forward to reading along in this new adventure.

@Edith, thank you for making the Pin a place where great writers gather- my reading world has been a much more interesting place since The Hairpin.

PatatasBravas

As the stroke of midnight approaches for those of us on EST, I hope that our gif offerings did not disappoint you.

BON VOYAGE

ADIOS

YOU TWO BADASSES

j-i-a

PETITION FOR THE NEW SITE TO BE CALLED NICOLE'S CAGE WHO IS WITH ME WHO IS WITH ME

Danzig!

@j-i-a I've already suggested Blasé Atlas so I'm afraid we're disagreeing

ru_ri

I am late to the party, but...NICOLE. This is really the bestworst.

Thank you so much for all you have contributed to this site. On a personal level, your writing has somehow made me feel better about being what I am (fiercely independent spinster bookworm who loves martial arts and machinery, among other paradoxes) after having been transplanted to a place where my characteristics are, to put it mildly, not highly regarded. I have so enjoyed reading about your trip into (over?) motherhood as well. Anyway, thank you for all of it.

I know you will be just around the corner (with MELIS! Hooray!) but nonetheless, your departure saddens me.

You'll still do "Classic Trash" at the Awl, though right? (Pleaseohpleaseican'tcontemplatelifewithoutclassictrash.)

Inspector Tiger

I haven't checked the site for two days and was so excited for all the article/comments in one big sitting and then this happens! Oh nooooes!! I'll never go away now, not even for a day, less someone else decides to leave behind my back!

Thanks Nicole for all the great articles and general awesomeness!

Ojo
Ojo

@Inspector Tiger I didn't check all week and thought "Yay, now I can spend my Sunday afternoon reading the 'pin because my legs hurt too much to go out and run", but now I'm sad. :(

July is ages away!

WineRanger

I read this post on my phone sitting in an airport bar surrounded by so much testosterone I could barely think as I scrolled down, down, down, reading every comment. Nicole and Mallory, I love your writing and have been checking other sites on a regular basis just to get a fix. You had better prepare your server for the bazillion (OK thousands) of hits you will get on your first day, I've marked my calendar!

ccmalls17

Wonderful.

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Zwetschke

Nicole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zwetschke

You will be soooooo missed. But also, followed to your new home, hopefully not in a creepy way.

whimseywisp

Belatedly super sad about this :(. Looking forward to your new site & will be happy to stalk you on twitter in the interim.

rallioncal

I almost felt like crying while reading the article, and then I continued on reading the comments below and it made me cry. - Lindsay Rosenwald

rise27

Shame to see you go, you have a great writing style (liked the Star Trek posting). Anyway, going to find you on your Tumblr page.

Have a good one, Ryan.
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