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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

311

"The tragedy of Obama's presidency is that he's too much of a Ravenclaw and not enough of a Gryffindor."

HUFFLEPUFF
Joe Biden
Jimmy Carter
Bo Obama*
Buddy Clinton*

RAVENCLAW
Barack Obama
Michelle Obama

SLYTHERIN
Dick Cheney
Hillary Clinton ("the good kind of Slytherin")
Socks Clinton** 

GRYFFINDOR
Rahm Emanuel
Nancy Pelosi
Bill Clinton

SQUIB
George W. Bush

DEMENTOR
Newt Gingrich

TROLL
Glenn Beck

REPUBLICAN PARTY'S PATRONUS
Ronald Reagan

HORCRUX
Mitt Romney

MITT ROMNEY'S HOUSE-ELF
Paul Ryan

* All dogs are Hufflepuffs.
** All cats are Slytherins.

While this list was in progress, the group agreed that it was one of the most DC conversations ever. Also, that Lincoln is Dumbledore

311 Comments / Post A Comment

Blushingflwr

HUFFLEPUFFS FOREVER!!!! BADGER PRIDE!

PatatasBravas

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lasso tabasco

@Blushingflwr @PatatasBravas HUFFLEPUFF FIST BUMPS!

Julia duMais

@Blushingflwr I wish I was a Hufflepuff, Cedric Diggory was the best!!! True story: I identify as a Gryffindor more because their more negative attributes resonate with me than their positive ones. Loud, self-righteous, need to be the center of attention all the time, yyyyyep.

Dancercise

Black and yellow pride!

Blushingflwr

@Julia duMais I mean, I'm a loud attention whore too, but I'm not huge on risks or danger and when I see people doing dangerous, risky things, my instinct is to try to stop/protect them. When I was in High School, my friends called me "Mom".

Also, how glad am I that we don't get sorted at the age of 11? I think my 11-year-old self might have demanded to be a Ravenclaw. Though maybe the Sorting Hat knows better.

Julia duMais

@Blushingflwr omgggggg yes, when is it that Dumbledore says he thinks they sort too young? Book 7? anyway yeah, bro, that, definitely that.

Spice&Snails&PuppyDogTails

@Blushingflwr YAY HUFFLEPUFFS! It makes me eternally happy that the first comment was Hufflepuff pride. ETERNALLY.

In my opinion the tragedy of the world is not enough Hufflepuffs, too many of everyone else.

beritaterbaru

@PatatasBravas yuk ngumpul bareng kita nonton siaran langsung bola online di NOBARTV.com

jams

Doesn't "sorting" yourself into school houses from a fantasy series about wizards sort of convey that already? qdcutah.com

jams

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Nicole Cliffe

Saying you're a Ravenclaw is a total humblebrag.

MoxyCrimeFighter

@Nicole Cliffe I can't help that I'm a beautiful genius!

stonefruit

@Nicole Cliffe Then what house it it when you're just trying to convey that you're very aware of being a complete nerd?

Mira

@stonefruit Doesn't "sorting" yourself into school houses from a fantasy series about wizards sort of convey that already?

stonefruit

@Mira Hah! Point taken.

PistolPackinMama

@Nicole Cliffe What I want to know is, where'd y'all put my tiara? I've been looking all over for it, including gaunting the royal splendor blog and no dice.

Mira

HILLARY CLINTON IS NOT A SLYTHERIN

paper bag princess

@Mira Pottermore sorted me into Slytherin, so I must believe that there is a good kind of Slytherin and Hillary and I are both it.

Mira

@paper bag princess But who says Rahm Emanuel (RAHM EMANUEL) is a Gryffindor before Hillary! Name your time and place, DC Pinners, I demand satisfaction.

RK Fire

@Mira I don't know, I've always imagined him to be a ballet-dancing, IDF-trained assassin, so it rang true for me. Unfortunately, wikipedia has dashed at least part of that image.

Emby

@Mira I hear Meridian Hill Park after the sun goes down is good for that kind of thing.

By satisfaction, you do mean cruising, right?

meanchelled

@Mira I've had this dream since November of finding a really long real person fanfic where Hillary and Rahm are crazy best friends and go on road trips together so PERSONALLY, as a member of TEAM HILLARY IN SLYTHERIN, I think Slytherin needs to dig its fangs into Rahm, too.

Or maybe he's like Harry and Albus Severus and ~chose Gryffindor~ because it wouldn't come with all that awesome Slytherin baggage of everyone thinking you're a blood-purist fanatic. Dance on the balance beam between shadow and light, young yet so much older than me Rahm.

Mira

@Emby I thought the glory [hole] days of cruising at Meridian Hill were over? Maybe not. I stay out of all parks after dark!

cosmia

@paper bag princess Pottermore sorted me into Slytherin too! But then I found out they have a common room under the lake so it was ok then.

HMSBeagle

@cosmia I am so jealous of Slytherin's common room...

Bittersweet

@Mira Rahm Emmanuel is a total Slytherin. Too ruthless for the heroic types of Gryffindor.

thejcar

@Mira Extreme agreement! Rahm and Hillary CLEARLY need to be switched. While this list has some merit in other places, this grievous error calls the entire process into question!

adorable-eggplant

@Mira THANK YOOOOOU!! That is a travesty and I KNEW others would agree.

She is Gryffindor. Duh.

Would a power-obsessed Slytherin person help start a clean burning cook stove project to save millions of lives? (http://www.opic.gov/press-releases/2013/opic-ge-finance-clean-cookstove-project-east-africa) No, no they wouldn't.

meanchelled

@adorable-eggplant "Would a power-obsessed Slytherin person help start a clean burning cook stove project to save millions of lives?"

Uhhhh YES? Lucius Malfoy's philanthropy to the Ministry, Hogwarts, and St. Mungo's to keep the polish on the Malfoy name, anyone?! On the board at HOGWARTS before that whole "oh we can't actually deny your racist and murderous impulses anymore" thing came out with Voldemort's return?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Eater#Lucius_Malfoy

NOT TO MALIGN HILLARY, but people in positions of power doing benevolent things that will win them further influence to maintain that power? Not the beacon of hope and charity it seems.

Mira

@adorable-eggplant That project is so quintessentially Hillary, right? Very unsexy, very useful. Love it/her.

adorable-eggplant

@Mira With all my heart. I read Wangari Maathai's book (Unbowed I think, but now I can't remember the title, but it had a tree on the front. Maybe it was Reclaiming Rights and Resources: women, poverty and environment? Damn my sieve like memory. Anyway.) and I was devastated about the environmental impact of foraging for cooking fuels in arid areas. It's one of those huge impact projects that makes my heart sing.

ETA: Read that back to back with the Worst Hard Times, if you want to have nightmares about ravaging the planet and then wandering in an unforgiving Mad Maxian hellscape. Seriously though, don't do that.

adorable-eggplant

@Mira Also, unsexy? That's debatable.

Mira

@adorable-eggplant Well, I think Hillary's super sexy (like, in a way that kind of makes my actual girlfriend somewhat uncomfortable/potentially requires me to revoke my feminist credentials) but she is not really a flashy or glamorous type, you know? Like cookstoves!

adorable-eggplant

@Mira I know exactly what you mean. It was the source of not a small amount of tension in my 2008 relationship.

Mira

@adorable-eggplant My people! High five, fellow member of the Mostly Just Admiring But Maybe Also A Little Creepy Hillz Fan Club.

P.S. BILL IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER CAN I GET AN AMEN

adorable-eggplant

@Mira AMEN.

She is much too good for him (after what he did to welfare, I'd say we are all much too good for him).

ETA: I may have slipped into 2% creepy when I admitted to myself that my main life goal is to become her + Louise Bourgeois.

Mira

@adorable-eggplant Hillz + Louise Bourgeois!! Too much awesome to handle.

thebestjasmine

@Mira Totally agree, Hillary is Gryffindor and Rahm is so Slytherin you can hear the parseltongue when he talks.

thebestjasmine

@meanchelled Malfoy being on the board did nothing good for humanity! If Hillary was just on the board of a university, then sure. But she actively works to help people, Slytherins don't do that.

Mira

@thebestjasmine I would also argue that an OPIC/State overseas aid project is very different from, like, the Hillary Rodham Clinton Foundation Cookstove Project for Hillary Klinton's Kookstove Kids or whatever. It's not really the kind of thing that gets you further name recognition or power or influence.

It's a smart investment, too.

aubrey!

@Mira There are good Slytherins. Being a Slytherin is about wanting power and influence and using manipulation to get where you need to be (All politicians are a little bit Slytherin.) You can still be a nice person and be a Slytherin and you can use your influence to help others.

My personal theory is that Slytherin House used to be really cool and full of all these ambitious kids and innovaters and Tom Riddle and the Death Eaters just warped it to their purposes.

meanchelled

@aubrey! YES. THANK YOU, kind, sympathetic, logical Ravenclaw with the awesome Kate Beaton icon. Can we form a slightly amoral alliance?

thebestjasmine

@aubrey! I don't really think this is true. People on the internet always say this about how there are good Slytherins, but there were none in the books. There were Slytherins who weren't COMPLETELY evil (Slughorn, Snape, the Malfoys eventually--though they were pretty fucking evil), but there were no good Slytherins.

meanchelled

@thebestjasmine Pansy Parkinson was a mean girl and a jerk, but not evil.
http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Pansy_Parkinson

thebestjasmine

@meanchelled Right, that's what I said. There are Slytherins who weren't completely evil, but no good ones. Pansy wasn't a good person.

aubrey!

@meanchelled I like the cut of your jib.

aubrey!

@thebestjasmine But just because there are no good Slytherins in the books doesn't preclude the possibility of a good Slytherin.

Although part of the reason I argue for good Slytherins is because I hate the idea of having a house just for bad people. That is the worst idea! Why would you do that?

area@twitter

yes, yes, a thousand times YES

HMSBeagle

My cat is a total Hufflepuff.

themegnapkin

@HMSBeagle my dog is a Gryffindor.

HMSBeagle

@themegnapkin Our pets are breaking down barriers! Your dog and I should hang out. Gryffindor 4 life.

Tragically Ludicrous

@HMSBeagle I don't think my cat could handle Slytherin. He gets freaked out when my housemate opens her door.

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

@HMSBeagle Mine too. Not agressive, just likes to eat.

Verity

@HMSBeagle Mine too! She is goodnatured and falls off things.

Chesty LaRue

@HMSBeagle I have one cat who is a typical Slytherin, but one who's so gosh-darned loving, I'd say definitely a Hufflepuff.

hallelujah

Rahm Emanuel is kind of a Slytherin, though.

Sunny Schomaker@twitter

@hallelujah Yes. Evidence: ask Chicago.

muddgirl

@hallelujah Seconded or thirded or whatever.

nic'kalmus@twitter

@hallelujah Thirded and/or fourthed.

highjump

@hallelujah YES. He shit on children and teachers. That is NOT brave.

BeanStalksAgain

@hallelujah Rahm FER SURE being a Slytherin was my only problem with this list! And I say that as someone who kind of loved him in the White House.

adorable-eggplant

@BeanStalksAgain Didn't he also send someone a dead fish? That strikes me as a dick/Slytherin move.

Also, teachers man, teachers.

PennyCentury

@hallelujah yes yes yes. Probably house boy, too. And probably a Beater. Dude is built.

robotosaur

A case can definitely be made for Gryffindor Biden, I think.

steponitvelma

@robotosaur Biden = Neville?

robotosaur

@steponitvelma That was exactly my reasoning!!

Faintly Macabre

@robotosaur Starting with inability to keep his mouth shut.

shalalas

the best.

stonefruit

Everything about this is 100% correct. DC Pinners, you crushed this.

Also, glad I read this with my door shut. Shouty laughter, not the most professional of outbursts.

RK Fire

I think that Ravenclaw should also include Dr. Jill Biden. Also, I think the Dementor list is too short, and should include Cantor, Boehner, Rand Paul, and Michelle Bachman.

stonefruit

@RK Fire Yes! Totally.

RK Fire

..I guess that in my mind, any hardline conservative Republican congressional member = Dementor. Sorry, Republican Pinners!

stonefruit

@RK Fire Ann Coulter is 100% a dementor, tho'. I think evil beliefs tend to make their way outwards and show on people's faces.

OwlOfDerision

@RK Fire Are there any? (genuine question, not a snark)

OwlOfDerision

@RK Fire Are there any? (genuine question, not a snark)

RK Fire

@stonefruit Can't argue with that sorting!

ColdFinger

@stonefruit Oh! Yes. I don't think all conservatives are dementors just the really creapy evil ones. Like, I wanted to say Karl Rove, but I think actually Paul Wolfowitz is the better candidate. But definitely Ann Coulter!

(God, just not coming up with the super creapy conservatives today. I know they're out there! Maybe it's time to hook the cable back up?)

stonefruit

@ColdFinger GROVER NORQUIST. Comparing the estate tax to the Holocaust = automatic dementor status.

RK Fire

@OwlOfDerision I think there are some but because of the tone of the site and the comments, they tend to be quieter. I don't think I've seen a discussion recently where someone says they're socially or politically conservative, but I've seen it before.

..or maybe I'm just imagining things?

hallelujah

@OwlOfDerision I fuckin hope not (sorry not sorry, GOP).

ColdFinger

@stonefruit oh, like all the torture apologists, too! Jon Yoo and co.

stonefruit

@ColdFinger Yes! Like Judge Bybee (9C) and former AG Alberto Gonzales.

par_parenthese

@RK Fire I mean I'm prolly a little more fiscally conservative (shit, I hate that word -- I mean I prefer state-oriented solutions to social ills rather than federally-oriented solutions when feasible/on non-human-rights issues) than many pinners? But definitely NOT republican, and besides, political party labels, what do they even mean.

Mira

@ColdFinger John Yoo is one of the functionaries from the Ministry of Magic, c. Books 6 and 7.

entangled

@RK Fire Sheriff Joe Arpaio. I don't even live in Arizona and that guy terrifies the shit out of me.

Spice&Snails&PuppyDogTails

@Mira Yep, I see the torture apologists as not even having the excuse of being soul-suckers/fear-feeders by nature -- they CHOOSE to play into that repulsiveness, all Umbridge-esque.

RK Fire

@entangled @Spice&Snails&PuppyDogTails Yes, yes, yes. Also I'm not sure if Rush Limbaugh would be a dementor or a Republican party Patronus.

Who would be the Dems' Patronus? JFK? Roosevelt? Paul Wellstone?

whizz_dumb

@RK Fire Goddamn liberal-run internet comment threads. There cannot be many, and I understand being nice to all Pinners, but please don't ever be sorry to Republicans. They'll just call us spineless.

RK Fire

@whizz_dumb Hahaha, fair enough. :)

lalaura

@RK Fire Democratic patronus is FDR, maybe?

RK Fire

@lalaura I was thinking about him. My only issue with him is the institutional racism (ha, "only") but if that's a guiding factor, most politicians prior to the 1960s would be off the list. I'm personally okay with that, but I'm putting it out there. This is conflicting with my feeling that Patronus should be deceased figureheads of the party.

area@twitter

@RK Fire May I suggest Ted Kennedy?

hallelujah

@area@twitter I LOVE TEDDY KENNEDY SO MUCH. Favorite all-time senator (and trust, I have a highly curated list). TEDDYYYYYY!

RK Fire

@area@twitter Yes, he totally works!

Ophelia

@RK Fire Or deceased Supreme Court Justices?

stonefruit

@Ophelia THURGOOD. MARSHALL.

RK Fire

@Ophelia Yes, although admittedly I'm not too familiar with many beyond...

@stonefruit I was thinking of him too! I read a biography on him for class during the 50th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Ed

Bittersweet

@area@twitter Not Ted Kennedy, please. I live in MA, and we love him here, but there is just too much baggage. Marshall is the better choice.

adorable-eggplant

@Bittersweet Ghosts need some baggage though, right?

CinnamonSwirls

@adorable-eggplant Unfinished business, right?

supergirlieque

STANDING OVATION, DC Pinners. STANDING. OVATION.

Madeline Shoes

this made me laugh out loud at work.

Lariope

Laughed out loud at work, attracting much unwanted attention.
This list is accurate.

SomethingSoClever

Would President Bartlet be a Ravenclaw or Gryffindor? I CAN"T DECIDE.

stonefruit

@SomethingSoClever Like Hermione, he would have been offered Ravenclaw by the Sorting Hat but chosen Gryffindor.

Actually the more that I think about it, Hermione and young Jed Bartlett are strikingly similar.

steponitvelma

@stonefruit I honestly cannot thumbs this up enough times.

lemur_niemer

@SomethingSoClever
Josh: Gryffindor
Toby: Hufflepuff (or a Gryffindor? Like Neville?)
CJ: Gryffindor (w/ Ravenclaw tendencies)
Leo: Slytherin "the good kind"
Donna: Ravenclaw
Amy: Slytherin (Josh + Donna 4EVER)

SomethingSoClever

@Liz the Lemur I see Toby as the quintessential Ravenclaw. Too smart for his own good!

stonefruit

@SomethingSoClever Yes! Smart *and* prideful, such a bad (but loveable, Toby, very loveable!) combination.

discombobulated

@Liz the Lemur Josh is a Slytherin, I think -- he's the guy you call when dirty Machiavellian politics need to happen.

Scandyhoovian

@discombobulated Seconding the Josh as a Slytherin! He's definitely the "good kind," though.

stonefruit

@discombobulated Well, given that he's based on Rahm Emanuel and I totally think Rahm is a Slytherin, that makes sense :)

ellebean

@Liz the Lemur Agree, Toby as Ravenclaw. And Amy, too! (Josh + Donna 4EVER, but you back off of Amy!)

annie.mamra

@SomethingSoClever Donna as Ravenclaw? Nah, homegirl is totally a...

HUFFLEPUFF!

highfivesforall

@annie.mamra She is, so true. Also Mrs. Landingham = McGonagall hence Gryffindor, and I think Charlie is Hufflepuff too. And what of Sam Seaborn? Can't decide between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw for him.

thebestjasmine

@SomethingSoClever Bartlett is so Ravenclaw. Those long economic lectures to his staff? His wife, on the other hand, definite Gryffindor.

Chareth Cutestory

Bravo. Also, the cover photo on the DC Pinners Facebook Group is magnificent.

Rose_H_Tyler

Omigosh so brilliant and hilarious!

discombobulated

Joe Biden is totally a Gryffindor tho

RNL
RNL

@discombobulated Right. He's DEFINITELY not a Hufflepuff. WHAT IS THAT I CAN'T EVEN.

Where is the house that is for stand-up guys who have been doing what is right and being INSANELY CHARMING along the way?

meanchelled

@RNL You just described Cedric Diggory! HUFFLEPUFFFFFFFF

Blushingflwr

@RNL I'm sorry, he is super into hugging, I am claiming him as a Hufflepuff.

elissa_what?

@Blushingflwr so much of Hufflepuff pride is trying to convince people that cool folks can be Hufflepuffs. We have such an image problem!

RNL
RNL

Ok, sorry Hufflepuffs. He just doesn't seem... that hardworking?

Also, yes, Joe Biden and Anita Hill. I guess I try to forget because it makes me sad. :(

Spice&Snails&PuppyDogTails

@Blushingflwr Taking the train also seems very Hufflepuff-y to me. And trying to work together with other people, like McCain back in the day! I think a Gryffindor would not be that into compromising and bridge-building. They're more about the smashing.

RK Fire

LETS DO THE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES!

..I can't decide if Sotomayor is a Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. I also suppose you could say that all of the justices have the potential to be Ravenclaws.

Mira

@RK Fire Not Thomas.

stonefruit

@Mira G-d dammit I can't like this more than once. EFFING THOMAS.

I'm not sure Rehnquist could have been Ravenclaw. The pure evil (and extremely faulty logic) would have shunted him straight into Slytherin.

RK Fire

@Mira I heard an NPR interview with Sotomayor recently and now I feel a little bad for Thomas.. aside from the sexual harassment case for Anita Hill. But he's been dinged through most of his adult life for being an intellectual black man, and his coping mechanism seems to be to stay quiet. Mind you, that's not how other highly intelligent black men of his generation dealt with it, but it makes me a little more sympathetic to the fact that he never says anything. Also, I heard this on NPR this morning, which raised a lot of other feelings..

RK Fire

@stonefruit Yeaaaah I don't follow the Supreme Court that closely, but I've read a couple of his and Scalia's opinions and think the line is blurry.

stonefruit

@RK Fire Quite aside from his years of silence, though, in the opinions he writes, he ONLY CITES HIS OWN OPINIONS. The breathtaking arrogance and intellectual laziness of that just gets me every time.

Sorry, I'm a huge law nerd, possibly getting a little too involved here!

ColdFinger

@RK Fire I think only Ginsburg is a confirmed Griffyndor. The rest are kind of up in the air?

Bookgerm

@RK Fire I don't agree with Thomas's legal opinions, but I think he's severely (and unfairly) underrated by the "liberal elite." My theses:
1. Speaking at oral argument really is showboating.
2. He writes principled dissents, and has a more coherent legal philosophy than Scalia.
3. He's reputed to be the most personally popular justice among people who actually work at the court, by which I mean the support staff and cafeteria workers. (This is a bonus in my mind.) Also, when a comedian pretended to be a little kid and wrote all the justices to see what their favorite McDonald's menu item was, Thomas was the only one to provide a serious answer. (Egg McMuffin.)

In conclusion: Just because somebody is an arch-conservative doesn't mean he's stupid! Just because somebody is wrong about everything doesn't mean he's not a Hufflepuff!

RK Fire

@stonefruit No worries, I'm not a law nerd, but I thought it would be a fun extension of this! I will happily defer to those who are.

steponitvelma

@RK Fire Sotomayor, Thomas, Ginsburg: Griffyndor
Alito, Scalia: Slytherin
Kagan: Ravenclaw
Roberts, Breyer: Hufflepuff
Kennedy: Rita Skeeter

stonefruit

@steponitvelma Ooooh, I think Roberts is Slytherin, too. He's got that "seems nice so you don't see it coming" type of evil going on. (Read the Jeffrey Toobin profile of him in the New Yorker a few years ago, haven't stopped panicking silently. He is a really scary jurist.)

I think O'Connor was Hufflepuff if we're going back a bit.

RNL
RNL

@RK Fire They're all Slytherin or Ravenclaw, come on.

steponitvelma

@stonefruit I haven't read that profile, so I might be buying the act. I was thinking mostly of the healthcare opinion which seemed very "Let's all get along" in an O'Connor kind of way. Which, you're totally right re: O'Connor. Also, if we're going back, Souter is like the platonic ideal of Ravenclaw.

queenofbithynia

@RK Fire Without taking any issue with the substance of your comment, I would like to propose that we never put what he did to Anita Hill aside, ever. It ought to be brought up and centered in every comment about Clarence Thomas from now until forever, just because that is the only consequence he can ever be made to face for his actions. It isn't much of one, either.

stonefruit

@steponitvelma Here you go, then: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/25/090525fa_fact_toobin

It's very, very troubling.

Also, hear hear, @queenofbithynia.

RK Fire

@queenofbithynia That sounds completely fair. Maybe we can turn into something like how Megan Carpentier used to refer to Andrew Cuomo as "Andrew 'shucking and jiving' Cuomo"

Mira

@queenofbithynia Total agreement. By the way, I like Joe Biden, but I don't forget the role he played in what happened to Anita Hill, either.

RK Fire

@Mira Yikes, I actually didn't know about that.

Mira

@RK Fire I was actually much too young when it happened to "remember" it, but I know about it because I was one of those bitter Clinton supporters in 2008! (I HAVE NOT FORGIVEN CHRIS MATTHEWS EITHER.)

discombobulated

@stonefruit I agree on O'Connor! She had this awkward Fresh Air interview a little while back where she refused to answer a lot of questions because she wanted her work to speak for itself, and she didn't want to talk shit about her colleagues/successors/etc. That seemed very Hufflepuff to me.

meanchelled

YEAH SLYTHERINS WE GOT HILLARY

Bookgerm

1. Michelle Obama is a Gryffindor.
2. Bill Clinton is a Gryffindor on the outside, Slytherin on the inside.
3. Hillary Clinton is a Slytherin on the outside, Gryffindor on the inside.
4. Ravenclaw is overrated and Hufflepuff is underrated.

PistolPackinMama

@Bookgerm I don't think Ravenclaws are really all that competitive, though. I mean, insofar as you can not be competitive in a school with a House Cup and all that. So probably we wouldn't mind being underrated more in favor of Hufflepuff. We're too busy freaking out that we aren't going to get an A in Arithmancy to understand why this matters.

thebestjasmine

@Bookgerm Yes, thank you, Michelle is super Gryffindor.

Mel K@twitter

@PistolPackinMama I imagine our competitiveness is mostly reserved to getting better grades than the other students. It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but I never just wanted an A, I wanted the highest A.

Yankee Peach

I always thought I'd grow up to be a Ravenclaw, but I turned out to be a Gryffindor and I'm fine with it, really. (What I am not fine with are my sorry lack of awesome Quiddich chops.)

muddgirl

@Yankee Peach I always thought I'd be a Ravenclaw, but I'm really a Hufflepuff and I like it.

aubrey!

@Yankee Peach I always wanted to be a Hufflepuff but I am a Ravenclaw, for better or worse.

par_parenthese

I want to do this with EVERYTHING. SORT ALL THE THINGS

Julia duMais

@par_parenthese I LOVE sorting people/characters. It is the best nerd party game ever.

Clearly we now need to cross the streams with last week's Big List and do Game of Thrones characters. EDITH WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO A COLUMN WHERE I SORT PEOPLE REGULARLY, BECAUSE I WILL DO IT.

par_parenthese

@Julia duMais Can this be where we beg Edith to let you do that and put what we want you to sort because OMG OMG

Mad Men characters
British Royal Family (all Slytherin? Maybe too easy.)
PAST DOCTORS FROM DOCTOR WHO FANDOM UNIVERSE INCEPTION

Julia duMais

@par_parenthese I have actually never seen Mad Men (I KNOW) but that could make it EVEN MORE FUN. Based on what I have heard about it, I'm just declaring everyone a Slytherin, and now the rest of y'all can fight with knives amongst yourselves to figure out who is actually what.

discombobulated

@Julia duMais Almost everyone on Mad Men is a Slytherin! Don, Joan, Betty, and Roger are, at least. Peggy has the work ethic of a Hufflepuff, the intellect of a Ravenclaw, and the ambition of a Slytherin, so I'm not sure about her. I can't figure out Pete either -- he's self-serving enough to be a Slytherin but he's not very good at it. He's made some pretty ballsy pitches to clients, so maybe he's a secret Gryffindor?

par_parenthese

@discombobulated Malfoy was an utter failure generally, so I feel like Pete could definitely be a Slytherin. I dunno about Joan. She's more Gryffindor to me -- constantly making tough, brave choices.

Minor characters would be more fun. Or just the women Don has banged. Suzanne = Hufflepuff. Rachel = Ravenclaw. Midge = ???

discombobulated

@par_parenthese I like Pete as Malfoy! I'm not caught up with the whole series yet, so maybe Joan becomes more of a Gryffindor later. I was thinking Slytherin because she likes power and wields it gleefully, and she's upset when she doesn't have it (I don't wanna get specific because of spoilers).

Totally agree with you about Rachel and Suzanne. Faye = Ravenclaw. Not sure about Midge or Allison the secretary. Other minor female characters: Jane is a Slytherin. Trudy could be a Hufflepuff (family loyalty!) or a Slytherin (totally manipulative!). Anna is a Hufflepuff. Lois is a Squib.

par_parenthese

@discombobulated TRUDY, how much do I love her right now. And Anna is definitely a Hufflepuff because she is totally Cedric Diggory. What about Miss Blankenship, because I mean which house is the most unexpectedly kinky? Or the kids? Sally might be turning into a Slytherin.

Former characters? Sal = Ravenclaw? That fucking bastard Hilton TOTES SLYTHERIN, he's like LeStrange-Level Slytherin.

I could legit do this ALL DAY.

anachronistique

@par_parenthese Nine = Gryffindor, Ten = Ravenclaw. Five = Hufflepuff.

Lucienne

@par_parenthese Ken might be a Gryffindor.

par_parenthese

@anachronistique ohgods, is Eleven in Slytherin? I've also been mentally obsessing about companions.

anachronistique

@par_parenthese I have a hard time deciding whether Eleven is also Ravenclaw or Slytherin. River and Jack Harkness are Slytherin, Martha and Amy are Gryffindor, Rory and Rose are Hufflepuff.... Donna I could honestly see in any house at all.

par_parenthese

@anachronistique I put Donna in Hufflepuff because of Wilf (who is DEFINITELY a Hufflepuff -- as John Green says, they're excellent finders -- although the whole Saving Ten From Himself theme seems more Gryffindor-ish? Or at least Harry-ish. But TOTALLY agree with you about River and Captain Jack.

coloredmaps

Who (or what) is the Golden Snitch?!

stonefruit

@coloredmaps Air Force 1?

area@twitter

@coloredmaps Ron Paul.

chrysopoeia

@coloredmaps Democracy.

VolcanoMouse

@chrysopoeia If someone finally get ahold of it, the game is over and we can all go home!

Megasus

@coloredmaps Mt. Rushmore?

wee_ramekin

@VolcanoMouse Oh. Well in that case, I'd say that the Golden Snitch is a Congress that actually does its job instead of filibustering everything by illegally enchanting the Bludgers.

coloredmaps

@VolcanoMouse I would LOVE to go home!

wee_ramekin

@wee_ramekin Also, this Congress is so fucking broken, it's like a drunk Chaser who can't even manage to make a measly 10-point goal with a Quaffle. I'm looking at you, gun control legislation that didn't pass even though it had the support of 90% of the American public.

stonefruit

Also I think Ashcroft might have been a squib.

dale

Let this comment stand in for one zillion likes.

purefog

Dick Cheney IS Tom Riddle.

RK Fire

@purefog He shot someone in the face and the guy apologized for getting shot! I mean, that's some serious Next Level Evil right there.

Olivia2.0

@purefog NO Dick is Voldermort. I have a shred of sympathy for Tom Riddle.

purefog

@Olivia2.0
Oh, no, I don't think so. Riddle did not "go bad." He was always bad and just grew into himself. But I have no problem with phrasing it that Dick is Voldemort.

Olivia2.0

@purefog I agree that Riddle was always bad, but...he probably would have been only garden variety bad if he hadn't been horribly treated as a youngster.

RK Fire

@Olivia2.0 It's been a little while, but wasn't he the one who was terrorizing everyone else in the orphanage?

Olivia2.0

@RK Fire You're right, but I do still feel a shred (ONLY a shred!) of sympathy for him because, as the god wikipedia says "In the second book, Rowling establishes that Voldemort hates non-pure-blood wizards, despite being a half-blood himself.", he's really just full of self-hatred. I mean, I hear you Tom. It's a tough life.

PistolPackinMama

@Olivia2.0 I always thought he was kind of a psychopath? So the shred I have for him is based in the fact that he was already in trouble that way, and then broken by abuse.

But you know. Eventually you have to take responsibility for yourself, tough though life may be. He had Dumbledore trying to help him, after all...

Julia duMais

I realized as I was typing this up that we had left off George HW Bush! Also personally I sort of feel that any successful politician is a Slytherin, but then the game doesn't take nearly as long.

Also also, any member of the Republican party, when faced with a boggart, sees a Hillary Clinton-Barack Obama lovechild holding a universal healthcare bill. TRUE FACTS.

RK Fire

@Julia duMais Jimmy Carter: Hufflepuff?

Ophelia

I miss DC so bad.

Steph

@Ophelia This post makes me so proud to be a native Washingtonian.

highfivesforall

Oh my lord is GWB ever a squib.

anachronistique

@highfivesforall That was literally the first thought I had when I saw the headline.

Lisa Frank

Obama is kind of a Slytherin what with the torture and drones and all.

chrysopoeia

@Lisa Frank #sorrynotsorry

AuntAgatha

@Lisa Frank I think that makes him a Gryffindor, like how Harry totally used the Unforgiveable Curses in the last book and excused himself for it because he's one of the good guys so it had to be OK.

aubrey!

@AuntAgatha YES. Just like there are good Slytherins, there can be Gryffindors who do terrible things for The Greater Good.

Joanie

Sarah Palin = Gilderoy Lockhart? Anyone?

stonefruit

@Joanie Or maybe Umbridge?

Madeline Shoes

@stonefruit no, definitely Lockhart. She THINKS she's doing the right thing, and she's pretty. Umbridge is just mean out of spite! And... not pretty.

Julia duMais

@Madeline Shoes Ann Coulter is Umbridge, obvs

Vicky

@Julia duMais I don't know, Umbridge has power. Does the GOP let any women have power?

Edit: Condi?

Ophelia

@Julia duMais Umbridge needs to be a bureaucrat, though. Pondering this now...

PistolPackinMama

@Ophelia The Library of Congress staff has got to be stacked with Ravenclaws, I think.

AuntAgatha

@Ophelia I think Donald Rumsfeld.

Lisa Frank

Fox News = Rita Skeeter.

Lisa Frank

@Lisa Frank Harry Reid = Barty Crouch.

Megasus

Did you know that dumbledore just means bumblebee in old English? I learned that last night, along with some really fucking horrifying shit about bumblebees.

adorable-eggplant

@Megasus Middle English or Early Modern English I'd expect (sounds like there's some French influence and it's not in the OE Corpus or Clark Hall). Bumblebees are awesome though, in any case!

RK Fire

Laura Bush = book-loving Hufflepuff

adorable-eggplant

@RK Fire So true.

Hot Doom

@RK Fire bless her little book-loving heart.

SarahP

Okay but Malia and Sasha are Gryffindors, right?

Olivia2.0

If Hillary Clinton is Sylterin Bill is TOTALLY hufflepuff. Sorry.

highjump

@Olivia2.0 I think Bill works hard but charm has helped him significantly. He is pretty loyal though, he has stuck by that god awful Blanche Lincoln.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

This was born in my living room.

Faintly Macabre

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me I was just wondering where you were! In a place with a living room in DC, apparently.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Faintly Macabre Yep, I got a grown-up job and moved and no longer sit on my couch reading the 'pin and doing crosswords/sudokus all day long. I've basically been dead to the pin for like half a year, I guess. I don't think I'm even known 'round these parts anymore.

stonefruit

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me I hope you're not serious. If you only knew how my heart skips a beat when I see that picture of Sheriff Lamb!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@stonefruit I was serious! Mostly just because there's been a lot of commentariat turnover? There are a lot of active commenters who are foreign to me.

Vicky

This is what you guys do at (DC) pinups? Man, I have to start attending some of these.

PatatasBravas

I will commute to DC to be a part of this.

br1gid

@Vicky I need to start attending DC pin-ups, obv. For that I think I need to start actually commenting instead of just reading everyone's comments.

Miss Maszkerádi

I always assumed I was a Ravenclaw because I'm so obnoxiously and stereotypically book-smart that I basically had to spend my childhood as far away from other children as possible or I would get beaten up (no exaggeration - fifteen year old meathead boys liked to punch ten year old me and pull my hair hard because i "thought I was better than them" and used "big words like a showoff") but, anyway, all that for naught, turns out I'm a Hufflepuff.

Where my other Hufflepuffs at? Does our house have a better distinguishing characteristic than unassuming niceness and unthreatening mediocrity? :(

VolcanoMouse

@Miss Maszkerádi You made me question my Ravenclaw identity! Debilitating niceness and mediocrity I have in spades, but I'm certainly not "unafraid of toil." Hm.

PatatasBravas

DON'T SLANDER MY HOUSE

Spice&Snails&PuppyDogTails

@Miss Maszkerádi We're loyal, too!

Spice&Snails&PuppyDogTails

You know who else is probably a Hufflepuff? Eli.

elissa_what?

@Miss Maszkerádi Our common room is by the kitchens! Midnight snacks! Also, the low expectations we've set are just a front so that we can slack off. That's my interpretation, anyway.

Blushingflwr

@Miss Maszkerádi Loyalty, kindness, generosity, a sense of fairness and justice, a willingness to pitch in for the team when we're needed even if we don't get credit.

Mira

@Spice&Snails&PuppyDogTails Bob is Lucius Malfoy, right? The LW was for sure a Dementor.

PistolPackinMama

@Blushingflwr Exactly! I would much rather my daughter date a Hufflepuff than a Gryffndor, largely. Those are really admirable characteristics, the kind people love you for forever.

PistolPackinMama

@PistolPackinMama Also- the Director of the Peace Corps and the people lobbying for small but well meaning NGOs= total Hufflepufflery.

Miss Maszkerádi

@all my Hufflepuffs, super late on the reply here, but thanks to all! We are a fairly excellent lot. I especially like the truth about common room by the kitchen and mediocrity as a front for slacking. :D

katiemcgillicuddy

My god, I think I'm finally going to read Harry Potter because, even without much context, this is hilarious.

calamity

CRYING AND DEAD, I'll be haunting the toilets alongside Moaning Myrtle if you need me.

stonefruit

@calamity Maybe you can finally cheer her up, good grief.

VolcanoMouse

I've always wondered if Hogwarts houses would line up, roughly, with Myers-Briggs Type Indicator categories. Ravenclaws are obviously NTs, Gryffindor = SP... never been able to decide what that makes Slytherin or whether Hufflepuffs tend to be NFs or SJs, though.

LAYERS OF NERDINESS

entangled

@VolcanoMouse oh man nerdsquee

I'm an NT and I've always thought I'm more of a Slytherin - zero patience for incompetence, getting shit done is the primary goal (except of course when the goal is being gleefully geeky on the internet). (I am ENTJ which is apparently the Bossypants)

Spice&Snails&PuppyDogTails

@VolcanoMouse (I'm a Hufflepuff NF)(It is a little embarrassing that I know that)

discombobulated

@VolcanoMouse I saw something like this once! It had Gryffindors as NFs (principled idealists) and Hufflepuffs as SJs and Slytherins as SPs. And Ravenclaws as NTs, obviously. I don't think I agree, though; being competently ambitious requires a bit of planning, so Slytherins should have a lot of J-types. And Gryffindors are driven by impulse at least as much as their Noble Ideals, so that would support SP... I like Hufflepuff as SJ, but that would leave Slytherins as NFs, which doesn't make any sense.

So I don't think you can straightforwardly shoehorn the Harry Potter houses into Myers Briggs types. OTOH, I'm an INTP and pretty much all of us are Ravenclaws. (My boyfriend, brother, dad, possibly my mom, and like half of my college professors have been INTP Ravenclaws.)

VolcanoMouse

@discombobulated INTP/Ravenclaw twins! I'm starting to come to the same conclusion, that the two systems don't neatly overlap and that Slytherin is where it all breaks down.

Aaand now I cannot stop thinking about what Tom Riddle's MBTI type would be.

Ophelia

@discombobulated Yeah, I'm an ISTJ, and I'm pretty sure I'm a Slytherin.

discombobulated

@VolcanoMouse Yay, one of my people! *high five*

PistolPackinMama

@VolcanoMouse I am a Ravenclaw all the way down, and I am an NP. ENFP, to be exact. But Gryffndors make me tired just thinking about them.

Blushingflwr

This has cemented my desire to make sure I attend some sort of DC Pinner meet up. I am so sorry I missed this!

frigwiggin

I think I've told this story before, but a friend told me a story once about a friend of hers who got a pair of white booty shorts airbrushed with the words "DUMBLY-DEE" across the ass at a street fair, and then she'd go around wearing them under see-through pants so it showed through. I think Dumbledore would be honored.

stuffisthings

I think Politico's CMS is broken it's posting to the Hairpin for some reason.

causedbycomma

OMG I LOVE THE INTERNET SO MUCH. That is all.

Scandyhoovian

So can we have a thread where we all talk about what house Pottermore sorted us into?

Pottermore put me in Ravenclaw. Which, honestly, I fit Ravenclaw to a tee, even if I sort of wished I'd been a Slytherin just a little bit. The good kind!

meanchelled

@Scandyhoovian I was sorted into Slytherin, like I had hoped (as much as you can hope to be sorted into the fictional house of a fictional boarding school for fictional wizards- which is a lot!), but I was really surprised that my friends were sorted into either Gryffindor or Slytherin, even though a majority of them thought they'd be Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff? I guess I didn't think that Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs would be as rare in the Pottermore system as they were in the books themselves?

adorable-eggplant

@Scandyhoovian I got sorted Ravenclaw, but want to be Hufflepuff (like I would do that pleading with the Sorting Hat thing) because I <3 plants.

wee_ramekin

@adorable-eggplant I got sorted into Hufflepuff and I wanted to be a Ravenclaw!

Mostly I was scared to be sorted into Hufflepuff because Hufflepuffs seem kind of...intellectually challenged, but Pottermore dispelled that myth in the first paragraph of their Hufflepuff description. Now I am happy to be a Hufflepuff because we have the best, cosiest common room and we are loyal, loving, and steadfast. We also love animals and plants! And we can still be smart! I am going to win the House Cup for Being The Smartest...you'll see.

Sella Turcica

@wee_ramekin I was sorted into Ravenclaw, which I totally get. I was kind of upset that my dad was sorted into Slytherin. He opted to be randomly sorted and not do the quiz or anything. Then I read all the books and, of course, Snape was a Slytherin. I was very happy with him being Snape-like.

Hot Doom

@wee_ramekin Hufflepuff is the kind of place where one would find a wee ramekin, and that's why everyone likes it!

Ophelia

Michelle Bachmann = Bellatrix Lestrange

PistolPackinMama

@Ophelia I think she is too much of a megalomaniac to be Bellatrix. BL was much too much of a consigliere for MB, who wants to rule the world.

AuntAgatha

@PistolPackinMama Except that she thought it was a woman's duty to obey her husband like Bellatrix thought it was her duty to obey Voldemort!

PistolPackinMama

@AuntAgatha Oh, that is a good point.

br1gid

YES YES YES YES YES all my nerd feelings!

BeanStalksAgain

I can't believe I'm admitting this on the Internet, but I just spent a solid five minutes trying to force the Karl Rove/"I Am Lord Voldemort" anagram to sort of work. His middle name is apparently Christian (lolz?) so it's twisted lay appropriate if you say "I Is," but alas, no d's or m's. Regardless: Karl Rove. Voldemort. Drop the mic.

Also, I'm pretty sure Palin is just a boggart... Reflecting to all of us our worst fears as ladies.

adorable-eggplant

@BeanStalksAgain

Vol are, k?

ETA: I am Voldemort, alright?

BeanStalksAgain

@adorable-eggplant I was just pleading for the universe for something as perfect as "I Is Lord Voldemort, k?" but without dark magic, one cannot bind anagrams to one's dorky liberal will.

adorable-eggplant

@BeanStalksAgain His full name is Karl Christian Rove!! Which means I've got...

I is Vol: rare hat, crnk.

(does he wear unusual hats and get crunk? I would, were I the Dark Lord)

adorable-eggplant

@adorable-eggplant Still working on it:

Oi! Er, cal hir nat Sr. V, k?

Translated: "Hey, umm, don't call him Lord Voldemort, ok? (Because we all say 'He who must not be named around here.")"

BeanStalksAgain

@adorable-eggplant Unexplored possibility! Have you seen "Wizard People, Dear Reader?" Voldemort goes by Valmart in that. Solves the a & o problem!

adorable-eggplant

@BeanStalksAgain I've been reading the books in French to brush up (+ glass of wine = best evenings ever) and his name in those is Tom Elvis Jedusor, so that's another angle to explore.

But I may be anagramed out.

par_parenthese

@adorable-eggplant Harry Potter in French, OMG. WANT.

adorable-eggplant

@par_parenthese Cannot recommend them highly enough. Here's another taste: le Choixpeau. I giggle every time.

stonefruit

@adorable-eggplant Le choixpeau! That is delightful, I have got to get my hands on a copy of the French version.

AuntAgatha

@adorable-eggplant I just emitted uncontrollable giggles at this.

AuntAgatha

@adorable-eggplant YES I ALSO DO THIS! But don't make my mistake and download the audiobooks in French because the guy who does the voices in French is truly, hideously awful.

adorable-eggplant

@AuntAgatha Thanks for the warning! I read them on paper like a Luddite, but I do also love audiobooks so I may have been tempted at some point.

Would other 'pinners be interested in starting a learning French google group? 'arry Potter reading club?

renegadeoboe

I did this with a friend for Canadian politicians lately!
Thus:

HUFFLEPUFF
Justin Trudeau (The Cedric Diggory of Parliament Hill)

RAVENCLAW
Tom Mulcair
Olivia Chow

SLYTHERIN
Stephen Harper (the bad kind of Slytherin)
Stephen Woodworth (the dumb/pro-pure-blood kind of Slytherin)

GRYFFINDOR
Jack Layton
Elizabeth May

Crumbling Slut

@renegadeoboe Spot on. I'm sure we could add a couple more on there too. John Baird-Slytherin fho sho. (not good kind)

Oenone

I live in Chicago. Rahm Emmanuel is DEFINITELY a Slytherin, regardless of where you come down on the Hillary question.

vjoyking

@Oenone agreed! he's the worst type of sltherin...though he looks like a badger.

j-i-a

THIS. IS. SO FUCKING GOOD

cocokins

"* All dogs are Hufflepuffs.
** All cats are Slytherins."

I die.

cocokins

@cocokins Um, I just looked up the phrase "I die" on Google, and I came up with this. Whaaaat?! Want.

http://ifidie.org/

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