Previously: The Friday Night Pie
Ann Friedman is still feeling smug about that day three months ago when she got her boots resoled and made a dentist appointment.
ann friedman, pie charts, to do lists
Yo I'mma let you finish but I seriously cannot recommend this enough. Best life choice OF ALL TIME.
@stonefruit I am finally FINALLY getting serious about pursuing CBT. I feel better already!
@stonefruit So I have been thinking about therapy for a while, but I literally have no idea where to start.
@stonefruit Ask your primary care doctor for a recommendation or two!
@meetapossum What I did was, I called my insurance and asked for a bunch of names for psychiatrists. None of them turned out to be taking new patients. I freaked out, called the insurance company back, and they gave me the name of the clinic where med students on their psyche rotations do their training. I called that clinic, they gave me a couple names of full-fledged psychiatrists who were taking patients, and the first guy worked out.
That was six years ago.
Google therapy (your town), look at some websites, see if they seem like a good fit, check to see if they take your insurance/new patients, call them and set up an appointment! I'm only saying this because I just did this after like a year of working up the courage/motivation and it's already helping me. It helps that I'm in college with a good health center that gave me recommendations. Good luck!
@meetapossum I found a wealth of information about therapists in my area on psychologytoday.com. They have information on credentials, treatment styles, areas of expertise, insurance, all kinds of stuff. Click "Find a Therapist" at the top.
@meetapossum I asked a friend of mine if her therapist could recommend anyone. I told the therapist what my insurance plan was and she gave me some names. Asking your primary care physician is also a good plan.
@j.a.b. Yeah, I actually asked a friend the same question a few years ago and never followed up on it. I may get in touch with her about it again.
@meetapossum The hardest part is, once you get some names, you basically have to cold-call a stranger and say "Hi, so I think I could use some therapy." And then you have to go to that stranger's office and describe your entire life and all of the ways that you think you're doing it wrong. It is scary and hard! But it rapidly gets less scary, and somewhat more slowly gets less hard and once you've built a rapport with a good therapist it is so so worth it.
@fondue with cheddar That web site is seriously great - I've found my last three therapists this way (they were all good, I just move a lot)!
@j.a.b. Totally this! "So basically, um, I like, need to work on my self esteem or something I guess? Is that... Do you..? Um, yeah".
@j.a.b. The cold calling is a big part of why I have not done any therapy. Part of my anxiety is definitely never, ever, ever wanting to talk to strangers and especially not on the phone. Are therapists on zocdoc?
@Michelle LeBlanc@twitter That's why I called my therapist's on a Sunday afternoon so I knew she wouldn't answer, then when she called back, I didn't answer, so I could acclimate by listening to her voicemail several times before returning her call.
@Michelle LeBlanc@twitter Yep, looks like it, under "Therapist/Counselor." FWIW, I totally did what @MarianTheLibrarian did and just played phone tag till I had an appointment. Lots of therapists don't have receptionists, so the likelihood of just swapping a bunch of voicemails is reasonably high. Also, if you're getting a recommendation, you can ask for email addresses. (Email: A Thing That People Have!)
@Amphora Yeah, and they also give you descriptions about what all the credentials mean, which is super helpful.
@Michelle LeBlanc@twitter I contacted my therapist by email the first time, and her picture was posted online so I already knew that she had a friendly face. In fact, the photos were one of my main criteria.
Get a haircut: 23%
@Dancercise Get my hair cut into a pixie inspired by Emma Watson that I will later regret 43%
Start running: 95%
also it is so easy to figure out more than you ever wanted to know about your horoscope at cafeastrology.com
@martinipie aaaand i'm not doing anything at work for the rest of the day.
@martinipie Get yer whole birthchart for free. This is the best one I've found. http://alabe.com/freechart/
@martinipie YES MY RISING SIGN IS PISCES
I'm not one to believe 100% in astrology but holy shit is that Aquarius/Pisces combo an accurate reflection of me
I didn't even know I HAD a rising sign until wee_ramekin told me I did. She's an astrology genius.
@shart_attack Mine sounds like exactly the opposite of me! I'm going to find another one.
@Beatrix Kiddo Mine too! I did my chart when I was in middle school but I miscalculated something. I already don't identify at all with my sun sign, Aries, but I'm near the cusp of Pisces, which I identify with totally. But all these years I thought my rising sign was Pisces when it's actually Sagittarius, which is not me at all! WTF, astrology?
@martinipie I'm a big astrology nerd. I compulsively read Astrologyzone, the Astro Twins and Cafe Astrology. Aries/Cancer rising represent!
Sometimes the predictions are accurate, sometimes they're wrong. I just enjoy having things to look forward to. And also the warnings as to when to shut my big dumb mouth at work.
@cosmia Me too! I'm Virgo/Leo which makes a lot more sense than just Virgo. Also, there is a lunar eclipse tomorrow, 5/25, which is supposed to be important? I don't know. I like to use my horoscopes as deadlines for Getting Shit Done.
@martinipie Please tell me you all read Susan Miller.
She writes the best horoscopes.
@martinipie My roommate is an astrologer's apprentice! New ask-a column???
@Slapfight Wait, this combination means I have an excuse for my sekrit astrology-fondness? Because here I was just wishing I'd been born a few hundred miles to the east so I could have Leo rising instead.
(But now that you mention it, maybe the "seriously, shut ur piehole today" warnings have kept me out of trouble a few times. Represent?)
80% - remember to get paid back $7 from mom for buying her cigarettes this morning
5% - perfect my Finn The Human costume for Saturday
5% - revise my resume
9% - tweet pictures of my puppy
1% - be annoyed at gawker commenters talking shit on community colleges
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood y or n: is your puppy going as jake the dog? plz say y
@allofthewine he is now
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood swoon city, usa.
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood
but what about ur tobias funke costume for sunday?
But what if you have already spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars on therapy in the past, and you still have all the same issues you had back then, but you are older and used to them. Should you still go back and do more when you are in the middle of a life change/depressive spell? Asking for a friend obviously, haha :-/
@Absurd Bird If your friend has insurance and suspects that her friends are starting to get tired of hearing about her problems...
@Absurd Bird Yes. My friend would like to know this too.
Like, what if my friend is already pretty resigned to the fact that some of these issues are life-long suckers that are basically of the "you got it, yer stuck with it" herpes-esque variety of mental health afflictions? And like, this friend isn't really putting themselves into life-threatening territory, so, you know, maybe it's okay-ish? ?? ???
@yeah-elle Hypnotherapy's interesting. If you have the money you could look at it as even if it doesn't work, at least it was an experience.
@Absurd Bird My chiropractor (at a wellness center that has a lot of alternative medicine stuff) offers this new sensory thing that I don't quite understand but supposedly is really good and can treat all kinds of stuff, including depression. I'm in a bad way myself and am considering trying it. If I do I'll try to remember to let you know!
@Amphora I'm sorry that therapy hasn't worked out for you so far. I am doing it again, and, so far, I FRIGGIN' LOVE IT. I'm curious in the ways that it hasn't seemed to help. Do you just not see any evident change in your life or feel any changes in your beliefs? Some things for me are more deeply rooted and take longer to weed out. But other crazy beliefs were gone fairly quickly.
Anyways, again, I'm sorry, that does suck. Perhaps other self-care activities: massage, EMDR, changes in exercise, diet, sleep, supplements, scenery? Although all that is tough to get through with depression. So I dunno...
@Passion Fruit I kind of plateaued with CBT this winter (my issues are mild depression, high anxiety, and obsessive thinking). I still talk to my therapist but I'm reallllly upping the self-care with yoga, acupuncture, a lot of walking, and books about Taoism. I know when you're depressed you read stuff like this and are like, YEAH RIGHT THANKS ugh dumb, but honestly this stuff is definitely helping with the other 2 issues (which are bigger problems for me right now).
One of my friends who had to field a lot of the obsessive thinking stuff this winter suggested reiki, but I'm not that New Agey. Yet.
Thanks for the feedback you guys!
To answer a few questions:
No to having insurance, and no to using friends as replacement therapists.
Yes to pursuing other healthcare treatments like exercise, supplements, diet, change of scenery/living situation/relationship status.
Previous experience with therapy was pretty good, but the same issues: social anxiety leading to difficulty making friends leading to loneliness, depression, negative self-talk, tendency towards general malaise just seem to be life-long issues.
Books on Taoism? Any in particular? My, ahem, 'friend' is intrigued.
@Passion Fruit DUDE there are some personal beliefs I've been working through with my therapist for the past 7 years that I'm finally making real progress on. I'm not saying it takes 7 years, I'm just pointing out that it's really about giving yourself time and not assuming therapy doesn't work for you just because you don't feel drastically different after a few months.
@MarianTheLibrarian Yes, I totally hear you. Some things I was able to clear out the first round. Other issues are more intractable and are taking a while to chip away at. I wish therapy was something that was more quantifiable, so I could chart it out, rather than just say well I definitely feel better than before I started. But it's the truth, I do, so I stick with it.
@Absurd Bird I am also interested in the responses to this. I kinda hated therapy because I'd lie to the therapist, telling them I was good when I wasn't. I'm more interested in something along the lines of "coping skills class" if that exists?
@Absurd Bird Many therapists have a sliding scale, so don't let lack of insurance deter you. My therapist cost only $10 more than my copay so the insurance didn't help much anyway, but when I fell onto hard times she gave me two-for-one sessions, which was awesome. A lot of them will work with you on pricing.
20% give yoga a try
80% eBay that jewelry that was from an ex-boyfriend that never suited us anyway (the jewelry OR the boy, TBH)
@iceberg 30% Put that desk that is taking up space in your apartment on Craigslist
30% Put those barstools that are taking up space in your bar-less apartment on Craigslist
30% Put your old computer monitor, which becomes worth less every day, on Craigslist
I have an IUD and it rules. Disclaimer: I am a human woman.
@Mayor of Butt City yes yes yes. Paragard was the best thing I ever put in my uterus.
@Mayor of Butt City
I am forever grieving that my paragard decided to migrate and burrow into my uterus. It's been two months since I got it (painfully) removed and I can't bring myself to physically and financially commit to another one.
@Mayor of Butt City I had put off getting an IUD for ages, and finally got one, and I LOVED IT SO MUCH that I basically became an IUD proselytizer and convinced every lady of child-bearing years who would listen that they should get one, too.
BFF proceeds to get one, has the worst periods of her life (like, seriously, homegirl didn't know what cramps were until that point), and expels it after a month. oooops?
@greentypewriters It's different for everyone, honestly. I love mine more than one should love a little piece of copper stuffed up one's babymaker, but I've heard horror stories of all magnitudes.
@Mayor of Butt City
I am getting the Flexi-T (a copper IUD, smaller width than Mirena) in like a month! End of June, IUD-Day. Freaked out but excited.
@greentypewriters Yikes! When talking about how great it is, I'm always careful to qualify my praise with "but I have a magic uterus, so..." because I know for some folks it's like having a bear-trap shoved up in their kid-cooker. But if everything goes well, it is awesome.
@planforamiracle I got an IUD almost a year ago and I WANTED TO LOVE IT SO BADLY. I still have it, but I'm annoyed that:
- I paid almost 300 dollars for my mirena
- Shortly after I got my mirena, they FINALLY came out with smaller versions which probably would have been good for me, as my insertion hurt like hell (I fainted) and I now get death-cramps
**Despite annoyances, still 100% worth it because I am not pregnant.
@MissMushkila yikes! I live in Canada & my IUD is 80% covered by my workplace health insurance.. and my gyno ordered an ultrasound which is how I found out my uterus was too small for the Mirena.
My gyno also recommended misoprostol to help soften the cervix, and ativan to help me stay calm prior to the procedure. and naproxen. I am pretty terrified of the procedure and am happy to be quite medicated to make it happen.
@MissMushkila I got my Mirena about 6 months ago and paid well over $300 for it (I had to meet my deductible and then paid 10% of the total cost (WHY isn't it 10% of the cost minus the deductible?? I'm sure there's some insurance reason but ugh ugh ugh))
I love it except I got my period this week for the first time since getting it and I am not a happy camper.
@Mayor of Butt City I needed to hear exactly this! Get An IUD is taking up the majority of my meaning-to-do life pie. I finally found out that my insurance will cover it, thus removing my main excuse, and now I just keep "forgetting" to call my doctor and schedule an appointment because I'm scared :(
@Mayor of Butt City I just got an IUD put in on Monday! Most excruciating pain I have ever had in my LIFE. Now, I'm just super paranoid that I can feel it in my uterus, that's migrating, that I'm going to end up pulling it out with a tampon, etc. Overall, I know it'll be worth it in the long (5-year) run, but that pain... OMG. And please, Mirena, don't migrate or come out. Because I can NOT do that again.
@d$ That's horrible. My insertion just felt like someone with a giant cold hand was spreading my insides apart more than I'd like. Uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as I'd psyched myself out for. Then again, I had mine inserted during my period, which helps because the cervix is softer, and I took a borderline-suicidal dose of Motrin beforehand.
@Mayor of Butt City "for some folks it's like having a bear-trap shoved up in their kid-cooker." That accurately describes my experience. I called it my alien razor baby.
@Mayor of Butt City I am trying so hard to love mine! My uterus was great, all regular and under control, before I got Mirena, but now I basically have 2.5-3 week periods. To put TMI out there, it's not bad - it's like the same amount of period and very little cramping, just spread out. I just pop the Diva Cup in and forget about it for the most part, but it puts a cramp in spontaneous sexy-times. I keep hoping it'll just sort itself out in the long run, but it's been almost 6 months and I'm starting to lose hope. I just want to be magically baby-free for years, is that too much to ask?!
@Laughable Walrus Don't loose hope! I had constant, annoying spotting for months, then after about 8-10 months it faded.
@Mayor of Butt City I found out my friend's uterus is too small (? or maybe wrong shape? something like that) and she can't get an IUD. She can't use pills, and she wanted one so desperately her doctor put her completely under to see if he could wiggle one in there but still no go.
@MilesofMountains Ahh thank you! That's actually really reassuring. My gyno said that if it hadn't cleared up in 6 months, I might want to think about removal. I'm totally down to stick it out for longer though if there's a chance it might work itself out in time!
YES my IUD is my BFF. I just made the last payment on it last week. $667 I am happy to have spent, thanks to interest-free payment plans at Planned Parenthood & almost one year later.
@Laughable Walrus Mine was pretty cray until about 6 months post Mirena insertion, but has gotten much better after that. My last few periods have not required tampons, just liners. Except I still have adult hormonal acne :(
@MilesofMountains Implanon? It is the implanted-in-your-arm thingy.
So, I wanted to go super-hormone-free when I went IUD, so I'm a Paraguard, but now I'm maybe rethinking that decision... has anyone done the switch-a-roo thing?
I had super-heavy periods before going on the pill in 2004, which I stayed on until the IUD, so I don't blame those on my Para, but they're still super-duper annoying. And all my Mirena friends are all like, "no, I don't have a tampon to loan you, since I haven't had more than spotting for over a year".
@Laughable Walrus tell me more about using the Diva Cup with an IUD! I am terrified of the Diva Cup somehow suctioning out the IUD (which I don't have yet). I've been using the Diva Cup for 8 years and would kind of resent switching back to tampons.
@upupandaway Oh great! About the calming down, not the acne. Mine hasn't helped as much with my skin as I hoped it would either. :(
@planforamiracle I...honestly didn't even think about it? I actually merrily started Diva Cup-ing the day after I got it! Which now seems crazy to me, since I've seen a few people on here say they were worried. Since realizing that was a common concern, I've been extra careful to break the seal before taking the Diva Cup out (kind of folding it a little bit before pulling it out) to try to eliminate any suction pull. So far, so good!
@planforamiracle I specifically asked about the diva cup when I got my IUD--the doctor said it is totally fine, your cervix is much stronger than any suction from the diva cup, but that it is a good idea to make sure you break the suction before pulling the cup out (which, duh, because it hurts like hell when you just pull it out, right?). So you should be all good! I've used mine and it's no problem!
@Laughable Walrus @lue
Thanks guys. I think I might've just been being paranoid! Hoping that my IUD is one of those things that seems super scary before it happens, then totally normal once you get it.
Yes, I've been considering therapy. Also, get my eyebrows waxed again. I did it for my wedding and they looked awesome.
Dammit ALL my boots need re-soling.
This whole pie chart is making me anxious.
@Amphora I'm thinking about my own pie, which is making me anxious. It's filled with so many things they would probably all be single digit percentages.
That one upper arm hair!!! I call it my rogue hair.
@olivebee Also, I never tell my mom about the new tattoos. I just let her notice them on her own during the three or four times a year I see her. It's easier that way.
@olivebee One time my one long upper arm hair grew out of my ... flank? The backside of my waist? Then, as mysteriously as it appeared, it returned to its usual place on my upper arm. That's really going rogue.
@olivebee Mine is an upper thigh hair. It is quite far away from my pubic region, but it looks an awful lot like a pubic hair. I think it got lost.
@Linette Did anyone else discover that getting older means that the hairs on the backs of your legs, from the knee-pits on up, have become Rapunzel-like in their length and luxuriousness? Just me? Ah. Well.
@raised amongst catalogs @Linette
Ahahah! Those crazy hairs. My husband calls the one he gets on his upper arm his steroid hair because it's SO MUCH thicker and darker than the others. I once forgot about mine for awhile, and it got so long that it could have been a [long-haired] cat hair. Luckily it was winter, so no one saw it.
@raised amongst catalogs Mine, too. It makes shaving a bitch.
@olivebee They aren't coarse but they clog up my razor like nobody's business!
@olivebee Ahhh I have a rogue under-arm hair on my right arm. It drives me crazy!
@olivebee As a somewhat hairy dude, I'll head-edit this to read "That one weird (patch of) upper arm hair(s)". Do I have to worry that my moles are cancerous yet?
And totally agree about the passive way of letting mom go, "What's that? Oh, very nice *tsk*". My latest is above my ankle and I will definitely wear shorts next time I visit just to get it over with. My friends and I all drunkenly gave each other the same design with a tat gun we have (mine turned out best). Free tattoo that I don't regret. Win. I'm glad I waited until my 30s to start getting them, but now I'm like, who cares, mark this body up, for the rest of my life is really not that long :( --rambling.
15% take that necklace from Tiffany's to the store to see if they'll replace the clasp
60% email that editor with the story that's completely written now but you said it would be in February, and the farther away it gets the less you want to actually send it and potentially have all your work be for something other than naught
5% start volunteering
4% set up personal website for linking to on linkedin
10% set up direct deposit at work
6% buy bras (this is on my to-do list from november 11th, evidence.)
@enic True&Co! It's like Warby Parker for bras - they send you a try-on-at-home kit, you send back what you don't want, and they charge you for what you keep. LIFE CHANGING!
@enic They'll replace it! I broke a clasp on a Tiffany bracelet and they replaced it and gave me an extra (although if they think I'm replacing a Tiffany clasp on my own they are cahrahzey).
@wwcutie Oohhhh I like this. My only frustration is that there's not a "no padding" option (I hate padding)... But I am definitely ordering!!!! And if they convince my that I'm really I 34B, well.. the Bra Gods should change their measurement system, because I have a 1/2 inch difference between my above-boob and widest-boob areas, which would make me a.... 34AA. But I will trust.
@enic YES. A writer's procrastination list! That book chapter I rewrote and got told I had to do it again... the return for my unsuccessful election campaign for the tax office that I don't want to do because it is $0... my personal website, my boyfriend's art projects website...
I got the rising sign, IUD, AND therapy down. Boom. On my list is:
1. call credit card company re: lowering my interest rate and/or transferring a balance on my maxed out card (84%)
2. make an eye appointment because I've started having to squint when looking at things far away (15%)
3. get leather boots cleaned (1%)
@shart_attack When the BF and I were driving on the highway last weekend I saw a sign and exclaimed "OOH, A DOG SALE?!" It said "Dig Safe."
@shart_attack I have the same kind of eyes! My eyes and your eyes have seen some amazing yet incorrect things.
@raised amongst catalogs Stories, plz
@shart_attack 2B. Get Rx, then buy cheap glasses online.
@upupandaway Yes! And don't forget the pupillary distance thingie! Check out the FAQ on the Zennys website. SO CHEAP. So good.
@Queen of Pickles seconding the pupillary distance bit.
@Queen of Pickles I work for a company that distributes frames, so I'm set there! It's just the "going to the doctor" part that I keep putting off.
@does it need saying Thirding because my optometrist only wrote a range on my script, and you can't measure it yourself with a ruler.
No matter how hard you try.
45% - Finish my HPV vaccine course (had to cancel shot #2 due to a surprise funeral last year, never rescheduled)
25% - Schedule a dentist appointment
10% - Take that one dress to the tailor
10% - Handwash my lingerie
7% - Finish all that wedding shit on my Workflowy (Workflowy is amazing, you guys)
3% - Mop the floors
@cuminafterall Oh god, the hand-washing. The bottom of my laundry basket is lined with newly silk-screened shirts, cardigans, and polyester dresses that have been soaking in dirty-laundry filth for MONTHS.
@shart_attack Throw 'em in the washer but don't put them in the drier. Especially the polyester dresses. Use mesh bags for bras and undies.
Use Soak or Eucalan if you do handwash so you don't need to rinse.
@shart_attack Oh yes... the thing that puts me off from hand-washing isn't the hand-washing, it's the bathroom-sink-cleaning that has to happen before the hand-washing!
@cuminafterall Buy a cheap plastic bucket and hide it during non-washing times!
@cuminafterall Getting a front-loading washer a month ago changed my life on the hand-washing front. I always hand-washed all of my bras because they were too expensive to ruin in the shitty apartment washer. Then we bought a house and everything and now I'm not afraid to use the washer for all of the clothes. My bras are wonderfully clean and it takes way less effort on my part. Cold water and as gentle of a cycle as you can find should take care of a lot of your laundry. And, like @enic said, don't dry them in the dryer.
35% schedule semiannual flotilla of doctor's appointments (15% get blood drawn, 10% see nephrologist, 5% see dentist, 5% everyone else)
25% figure out eye makeup
20% clean stains off hand-me-down leather purse
15% hem nice pants
5% try mind-altering drugs, preferably in brownie form
@area@twitter we are far too similar. Also, thanks for reminding me to go to the doctor/gyno/dentist, etc (20%)
Buy new batteries for my bike light and finally install the bell so that I don't die in the dark (30%)
Take purses and boots to the cobbler (5%)
Winter coats to the dry cleaner (5%)
Tell my best friend I'm actually coming to see her this coming weekend (40%) - I'm already a shitty guest.
100% obtain vibrating cock ring (real talk alert)
I don't know how to post a GIF. REAL TALK
@Mayor of Butt City <img src="" /> and put the URL in the quotes!
@hallelujah good call. It's fun for everyone!
@hallelujah You can buy disposable ones on Amazon!
@hallelujah The Tor 2 by LELO is pretty great.
@Blackwatch Plaid haha I just looked up the Tor 2 (because that is some technology I can get into) and one pic has a dude in a suit holding the vib cockring near his junk in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other. I'm gonna be that for Halloween.
@whizz_dumb We shall require photos.
@Slapfight a little late, but you're right, I shoulda done this first:
About 95% of the time I am A+++ at slashing through to-do lists at light speed. The outliers, though, can take YEARS.
Like, for real, I have been meaning to send a particular package of odds-and-ends to a friend since the winter of 2011. It is seriously happening this week though. For real. I have everything actually packed up and I am taking it to the post office tomorrow. At laaaaassstttt.
@yeah-elle I'm wondering if we're maybe the same person. I went on vacation in 2009 and 2011 and picked up gifts for a friend who lives far away. They are STILL just sitting around my apartment. Im lucky my friend still loves me.
ETA - I bought one of those mailer packages about 6 months ago, put the gifts in there, and...its still sitting in my apartment...
@yeah-elle OMG, share, how do you slash through to-do lists at light speed???
An Inveterate Procrastinator
@Passion Fruit Hmm, I think what makes the biggest difference is the stuff that would otherwise pile up but can be done quickly, I do right away. Meaning, when I get a bill in the mail, I write the check right away. When I make food, I wash the dishes once I'm done eating. When I get an email, I either answer it right away, or flag it with a bright orange "ANSWER" tag that I can't ignore.
So that stuff doesn't really even make it onto a to-do list in the first place. The rest of the stuff, I just try to plan ahead and then conquer them. I find it really helpful to just schedule myself. I work 6 days a week on a wonky schedule (aka some days I just work from 5-close so I have the morning off but I can't really enjoy it when I have a closing shift looming in the future, y'know?) so it helps to just keep a daily planner (which I need anyway cause my work hours aren't regular) and pencil in "GET A HAIRCUT BEFORE WORK" or "DO LAUNDRY WHEN YOU GET HOME" on a specific date.
Obviously, though, some stuff falls through the cracks. Like, I've been meaning to get a new doctor and make an appointment and I made it as far as finding a doctor in my area that is both accepting new patients and is covered by my insurance but I just can't make myself pick up the phone to make an appointment, ughhhh.
Do you know how long it took me to replace my ID? SIX MONTHS. SIX MONTHS I CARRIED AROUND MY PASSPORT. I am the worst.
Do you know how long it has taken me to replace my credit card, which I lost at the same time as my ID? STILL HAVEN'T DONE IT.
@yeah-elle Whoa, whoa, whoa. That first paragraph stuff you listed, the stuff that "never makes it onto a to-do list" is basically the ENTIRETY of the to-do list that I lug around with me for weeks. How do you do that??? You're, like, to-do listing on a PhD level and I've just enrolled in pre-school.
@Diana It took me a year and a half to get my driver's license changed to the right state and by then I had to take the written exam over again.
But at least if you don't replace your credit card you can't use it, right?
@yeah-elle People who don't reply to emails straight away? Who are they! I'm actually kinda jealous since they probably don't have this weird brain itch going on when they know they have unread mail.
@Passion Fruit I wish I could tell you how I started to do it, but I don't know! I'm stupid about this stuff.
For instance: I bit my nails for as long as I could remember. For the first 20 years of my life, I bit them down to the nub. Like, ugly, bleed-y nubs. And I tried everything to quit. Gross-tasting nail polish, pretty nail polish, fake nails, wearing gloves, nothing worked. And then one day I was like, "I'm done with this bullshit" and I never looked back. It wasn't even that hard? I have no idea how I did it, it was some wizard-level brain magic that I have no idea how to replicate. I suspect that my un-procrastinating was similar.
@Diana Haha, I totally did this and felt like such an idiot whenever I went to bars.
@yeah-elle Hi, are you me? I could have written that entire paragraph on how you stopped biting your nails. Except I was just shy of my 22nd birthday when I decided I was done with the nail-thing.
@rayray Yeah, I almost never reply to e-mails straight away unless they're from my mother. Don't be jealous because it's just rampant anxiety at work. I still have that brain itch but I can't answer the e-mails without at least an hour of panicked procrastination beforehand.
Luckily, no one but my mother ever e-mails me any more. Huzzah!
I think I'm permanently considering therapy. I never get past Googling therapists.
29% Making that doctor's appointment for that thing that you're not even sure is worth going to the doctor about
@MilesofMountains I have a ganglion on my wrist, and every time it gets big and painful enough for me to want to go to the doctor for it, I whack it on something and it goes away before I can get an appointment. STOP IT WRIST.
@area@twitter I have a small wart on my finger tip and I know I should get it removed but....meh. I feel like it'll hurt more than it will bother me.
@packedsuitcase Plus it's a fun weekend project to look up wart home remedies on the internet and try all 500 of them.
@Amphora Duct tape! Tea tree oil! Angry toad!
@packedsuitcase Also - wart removal can leave scars (and hurt), but usually they just fall off one day! I had a couple on my fingers and toes for about a year, and then over the course of like 2 days they just WENT AWAY. It was crazy, and awesome. Not saying you shouldn't get yours removed if it's bothering you - but warts are basically magic that no one understands.
@highfivesforall I had a couple on my hands as a teenager and I actually removed them with magic, pretty much. My family visited the Chalice Well in Glastonbury which is supposed to have magic powered water, so I soaked my hand in the water for a while. Within a week they just fell off. I know it was actually that they just happened to get to the end of their life at that point, but I my mom was still so annoyed that she didn't think of doing that with hers.
@highfivesforall Yes. I had terrible plantar warts (ugh I know, gross) that unfortunately couldn't be ignored. My doc and I tried (in order) duct tape occlusion, topical caustic+duct tape occlusion, tea tree oil+ topical caustic+ duct tape, topical anti-metabolite, cautery and excision (ow, and it didn't work), and then finally liquid nitrogen. Freezing them off hurt like all holy hell, but those fuckers were gone and stayed gone. So...waiting frequently works, but if it doesn't maybe try duct tape at night?
@packedsuitcase @highfivesforall Is this where we tell our wart stories? Because this is my wart story. I had several on my hands when I was a child, and went through the process of basically burning them off with dry ice (applied by my pediatrician,) but they always came back. Then my aunt recommended rubbing rotten banana peels on them. My mom did this for... I'm not sure how long, but I think several months? And one day all the warts disappeared and have not been seen to this day. Rotten banana peels! That ONE WEIRD TRICK that evil pediatricians hate. Who knew? I still have the scars from the dry ice though.
@pterodactgirl I had herpetic whitlow on my fingers as a kid for a couple of years..which is just really warts, right? Anyway, my pediatrician's approach was to do nothing. I don't really remember it very well but my parents always talk about how horrible it was, but they were glad not to have tried burning them off. And it's never come back, so far.
@pterodactgirl I just...cut mine off. I know! I know! It's bad and dangerous and infection but I heart self surgery. It makes me think I could dig a bullet out of my own body if I ever had to.
I'll just be hiding in the corner now.
I'm done trying therapy. I just hated it. I go get massages now instead. And take anti-crazy pills. I'm okay with all of that.
IUDs scare the crap out of me.
But I have been meaning to try Thai food again. And learn to ride a horse. And make fried chicken.
60% go back to Bikram after three years of forgetting to go
40% take, like, five pairs of Chelsea Crew shoes to the cobbler
@gladfanny Do those shoes fall apart? I bought one pair and found them slightly uncomfortable but too cute to return...and haven't worn them since. I just saw them and said hello as I reorganized my under-bed shoe storage thingie.
@raised amongst catalogs There are pros and cons to these shoes. Pros: A) They are adorable and sensible. B) They make my feet look smaller C) Not so 'spensive. Cons: A) They can take a long time to break in (but once they do, they're very comfortable) B) Sometimes the sizing is off C) Yes, they can fall apart. I wore right through the soles on a pair of their sandals in, like, two months. It's kind of sad. But that's why I try to have a bunch so I can rotate them. I do wish they lasted longer, but maybe I just wear them more than the average gal would.
100% CLEAN MY APARTMENT BEFORE REAL HUMANS SEE IT AND REALIZE I AM ACTUALLY A BAG OF GARBAGE THAT OOZES AROUND AND MAKES HUMAN-LIKE NOISES
@hahahaha, ja. oh, and therapy
@hahahaha, ja. do you know about unfuckyourhabitat? It's a tumblr that was recommended to me on this site and now I no longer have to dive behind the couch and hold my breath when the doorbell rings unexpectedly.
@hahahaha, ja. Instead of cleaning, just get a few Fraggles and change your name to Marjory:
@elsbels: Whaaaaat I did not know this is a thing! BOOKMARKING IMMEDIATELY.
@Jinxie: It looks like they're singing. Are they singing? I am terrible at singing.
@hahahaha, ja. YOU ARE ME. I'm not so great myself, but my boyfriend has SO MUCH STUFF and I don't know what to do with it all. And depression makes it hard to find the motivation to do anything, anyway.
@hahahaha, ja. The Fraggles did quite a lot of singing, but I don't recall the Great Trash Heap ever singing so you're probably in the clear.
@Jinxie The Trash Heap has spoken! Nyaaah!
@Jinxie Oh, Madame Trash Heap definitely sang songs.
(Related: I actually had to correct the Museum of the Moving Image on their FB page because they just got a donation of muppets from the Henson workshop and they listed Gobo Fraggle as GOGO FRAGGLE.)
@hahahaha, ja. it's great and addresses depression and everything.
I just ordered some food and I found myself starting to kick my piles of stuff out of the line sight of the doorway so the delivery person doesn't judge me. And then I looked around and said Fuck it. JUDGE AWAY, DELIVERY PERSON.
@hahahaha, ja. Delivery people see so much worse than your house, TRUST ME.
-fondue with cheddar, former delivery person
@hahahaha, ja. We are the same person.
Oh, god, the tattoo. Why'd you have to remind me. My sister has this problem too. We are secret tattoo-ers and our mother is an insane control freak, and we know what's good for us.
(What's good for us is lying. Apparently.)
@Linette Yes. Same here.
Lying is what's best for the whole family. I don't have to hear a lecture about it, they don't have the heartache of my "rebellion".
@cminor Seriously, yo. If you condition me to think you're absolutely incapable of handling any perspective other than your own, then you forfeit your right to not be lied to.
(This for all situations where you cannot possibly remove yourself from this person. For situations where you can, GTFO.)
@Linette my mom freaked about my teeny wrist tattoo so um, I am definitely not going to tell her about my sleeve. she would probably have an actual heart attack. ignorance is bliss, yo
Right now, my main to-do is "find and execute a recipe for gluten-free banana cream pie"
@charmcity However, "casually tell mom about boyfriend of 8 months" has been lingering for, like, 7 months ...
Step 1: Have Aunt who talks to your mom daily on your facebook
Step 2: Become facebook official in a relationship with said boyfriend while your mom is staying with Aunt for the weekend
Step 3: Have weird conversation when mom returns
Well that is how I did it anyway. In hindsight, miiiiiiiight not have been the best way to do it though.
50% write letters to my friends, whom I have been neglecting and one of whom I NEED to write before she moves to Germany (when???).
I feel so overwhelmed a lot of the time by the enormity of everything I need to do (or feel I need to do) that I can't do any of it. Paralysis.
@frigwiggin I feel the same way about writing letters to overseas friends, like if I don't write the most amazing, epic, heartfelt letter it's not worth the price of a stamp. But I know it's really the opposite—just write something easy and friendly, don't overthink it, and your friend will appreciate getting mail. Write a little postcard even!
@planforamiracle I write letters to my friends all the time, including one overseas, and yeah, I just joke about my daily life and funny things that happen and things I know they're interested in (I report on my apartment-balcony-gardening attempts to my green thumb friend) and so far all positive reports back!
@polka dots vs stripes @planforamiracle
I did it! I wrote a letter over lunch (it took all of lunch break and then some). Now just two-three more to go...
Also, 40% fix my bike so I can get back to riding it.
1. dry clean and/or handwash the growing pile of smelly and/or stained dry clean only things i never should have purchased
2. confirm that my iud still exists
3. make out with a girl
4. water houseplants
5. get rid of wisdom teeth
i might be able to save time by doing 2-4 simultaneously.
@Wombat I would aim for #2, #3, and #5 simultaneously.
@enic yeah i guess if i find a girl that has extra strong face-sucking abilities? huge savings on dental co-pay!
@Wombat I have #1 piling up in my room right now. In fact, the jacket on top is actually straight up dusty it's been so long. Ugh.
@Kikimora I usually end up getting so frustrated with my pile of high-needs clothing that i throw it all in the washing machine, and then it gets ruined, and then it hangs in the corner of my closet reserved for things that I can't wear but feel too guilty to get rid of and vaguely intend to somehow fix up by dyeing or stretching or sewing. So I should probably just skip all of these steps and put the dirty stuff back in the closet. Along with the wisdom teeth-destroying makeout session, this thread has given me some fantastic productivity ideas!
@Wombat I've totally done that! When I'm really desperate for a blazer or something, as long as it doesn't have stains on it, I will just steam it.
My one rogue hair is on my chin. MY CHIN. What!
@Scandyhoovian me too! i have to carry tweezers around because the second i feel it coming back i am unable to function until it's gone again.
@Scandyhoovian What's really terrible is when you're old, and that one or two. or, honestly, like, four or five rogue chin hairs start to turn white, just exactly at the same time as your eyesight starts to fail. Makes plucking well nigh impossible. Sometimes, I don't notice them, and then the sunlight will hit me a certain way when I'm looking in the bathroom mirror, and it's all, Hello, Gandalf.
@Wombat Yep, I have a pair of tweezers in my bag at all times.
@ironhoneybee Ugh, mine are weird in that I have transparent/white ones AND black/brown ones? Like my body understands "brunette" everywhere except my chin. -__-
@Scandyhoovian Time to cross over conversations from the billfold: my rogue hair was under my chin but also a few on a mole on my cheek, but now my chin baby fuzz is turning into lots of rogue hairs and yep, I tweeze them the second I feel it breaking the skin.
@Scandyhoovian Me three! Whyyyy chin? Why have you turned on meeeee?! Good thing I live in Brooklyn. Beard City.
Stop using shampoo 13%
72% write that thank you note to your grandmother because she keeps 'casually' 'mentioning' to your mom that she hasn't received one yet even though you did totally thank her over the phone
I WILL NEVER CASUALLY TELL MY MOM ABOUT MY TATTOO
Also, watch Twin Peaks is/was my 13%. Still SO HAPPY I crossed that one off the list.
get some good tweezers to manage the chin hairs. Do you have any tweezer recommendations? I just have a pair of old ones and they don't do precise work and last night I had to remain in uglified double chin position in front of the mirror for a long time before I finally caught the one that is between the chin and neck area.
@elsbels Tweezerman ingrown hair tweezers! Really sharp pointy edge. Sadly there is no dignified way to FIND said hairs before you can pluck them.
@elsbels I got a Tweezerman slant tweezer for under $20 many years ago and it might be, dollar-for-dollar, the best beauty product I have every purchased. If I can't get it with those, it can't be gotten.
@Rachel@twitter wait wait how did I not know these exist?!
@Rachel@twitter Totally asking for this for my birthday to feed my picking obsession.
Revlon makes the best tweezers under $20, I accept no substitutes. I have a lot of chin hairs. :(
@elsbels I just picked up a new pair of Tweezerman minis at Sephora while waiting in the checkout line (that checkout line bucket-row of cheapies is dangerous) and it has quickly become my favorite set of tweezers. Somehow being smaller than regular sized ones makes me feel like they're easier to hold.
@Diana Revlon DOES make a good Tweezer under $20. I have two. No complaints.
@elsbels I also have to put a voice in for the Tweezerman brigade. I've got a normal-sized round tip one and a small slant one, and they are the best tweezers ever.
@elsbels I have a pair of Revlon ones that were $10 at ULTA that have an LED on them. I had another good pair from LaCrosse but the light up ones take the cake.
Get a real job where the stress doesn't stem from poorly washed ice cream buckets or rotted lettuce and I feel like I'm not wasting my youth and can actually get decent pay and some kind of fulfillment- 100%, for years
@Nutmeg are you me? minus the lettuce, but covered in ice cream?
@yeah-elle Probably! we are legion. On Tuesday, at my Ice Cream Job (the lettuce stress comes from my Sandwich Job) I scooped 100 cups of ice cream just for some Taste of Wherever event, then spent four hours dipping waffle cones in chocolate while my 19-year-old coworker told me how he regulates his cocaine intake to no more than once a month, and I found myself wondering not for the first time how many more months past my one-year mark I will have to wait to get a raise
@Nutmeg I feel you on the stresses of an ice cream job. The store where I work is hugely popular (think fancy, small-batch ice cream shop with lines that stretch down the block) and lately the stress has just been too much for me. Not to mention that I've been there nearly 18 months without a raise, despite taking on substantial additional responsibilities...so if you ever get that raise, holler at me, hahahaughhh.
I still need to get my Frye boots resoled... but damn do I love my IUD!
15% figure out what shoes I am wearing to a wedding this weekend
25% begin my marathon training
50% stop picking at ingrown hairs
110% STOP EATING ALL THE CHEESE BALLS IN THE OFFICE KITCHEN. JUST STOP.
@Lustful Cockmonster ugh wedding shoes! Everyone gets married in the grass these days, what are you supposed to wear so that you still look fancy??
@highfivesforall real talk. I invested in party shoes from Geox. They are wedges, comfy, can dance all night in those suckers and pretty!
I bought them a few years ago, but they do thicker heels too, so maybe something like this would work? http://www.shopgeox.com/Item.aspx?ProductID=4216
50 % find a job I don't hate for when my contract ends on my current one
25% get a smear test/IUD
15% finish watching all the Doctor Who on my dvr
7% regain my goddamn fitness once my broken toe heals
3% sort my taxes
I enrolled in health benefits through work (30%) and set up repayment on my student loans (20%). I have to clean the shower (50%), but I figure I did the equivalent work so that leaves me free to do nothing until bedtime. Right? Right.
(I'm 26 in October. DON'T LEAVE ME, DAD'S BENEFITS!)
(And this is just, like, for the day. I don't mean to imply that's all I have to do. If I were to calculate an ongoing list, I would also have to go to the gynecologist and the eye doctor and put air in my tires, and I don't want to think about those things, especially the first one. /shudders)
25% clean wedding dress so I can sell it
25% sell wedding dress
20% Decide whether to call the gyno or the derm about this INSANE adult acne that has sprouted up in the last month or so around my chin.
70% Take the doctor's recommendations and get some therapy. Done it before but the last person I saw was extremely flippant and would do her nails while we talked. Pretty much that is how NOT assertive I am, went to her for months.
5% Stop being 1-2 minutes late to work every day. There is fucking construction everywhere but no matter what I do I can't seem to get out the door any earlier. It's not that late, but it really bothers me.
5% Have a legit sit down with my finances. They aren't bad, but for that very reason we haven't had much of a look lately. Need to save more.
I was supposed to go in for a consult (is this a thing?) for an IUD next week, but the doctor's office just called to reschedule for the following week. I want it NOW.
@victorian rose: Are you in the US? I got mine on the first day, but my mom's office (she put them into people) doesn't want to take the risk of giving it to people who might have any other STDs, so they make people take those tests first. Even though this policy is way more restrictive than is recommended by most organizations. I guess other things might be to interview you about why you want it and whether it will be a good match for you?
@upupandaway Any doctor's office should have you in for a consult first, unless you were JUST there for your checkup and you're a long-time customer. They can't just take your word you're not already pregnant or have an underlying infection/condition because for all they know you could be Irresponsible and Litigious.
@victorian rose I got a consult first and my doc ordered a transvaginal ultrasound, which turned out to be a great idea because we found out that the Mirena is too wide for my unbabied uterus. My doc also helped me decide about options for the insertion and told me about what to expect.
So yes, a consult is definitely a thing!
@upupandaway Yes US. The receptionist made it sound like I wouldn't get it inserted until the third app't maybe?
@Amphora Yes I suppose part of the issue is I'm a new patient. My GP has been doing my paps, so haven't really had a need for a gyno 'til now. I have attorneys on speed dial, does that make me Litigious? :)
@planforamiracle I had not even considered the Mirena being too wide! Is there a smaller sized hormonal one available in the US?
@victorian rose I don't know. The one I am getting is called the Flexi-T and it comes in 3 different models. But it's non-hormonal, and I'm in Canada.
I hope I didn't make you worried about the Mirena not fitting in your uterus! This would be a great thing to discuss at your consult with the new gyno ;)
@planforamiracle I hope it fits...as there are only two FDA approved IUDs in the States. I'm more annoyed that it's probably going to take another month or so until this thing is inserted. When I make up my mind to finally do something, I want it done ASAP!
That's it-- I'm calling Paraguard tomorrow.
75% Write to my PinPal
10% Laser Eye Surgery
10% Laser Hair Removal
80% Non Laser Related Items (studying, cleaning my apartment, etc.)
@Hella I wish I could step into a full-body laser hair removal chamber and just be done with everything all at once. Why is this not a thing?
30% write to an old high school friend that I've lost touch with due to my own awkwardness about high school and anyone I've ever known as an adolescent
15% stretching every day
10% doing all of the laundry, instead of just a load of what I most urgently need
10% apply for that new and attractive job opening
25% respond to outstanding emails that you should respond to for networking/career purposes, you idiot, you want to leave your job and no one is going to headhunt you if you are a flaky asshole
10% deep clean the kitchen
Thanks to this post, which I've been musing about all day, I've done two of those things and have done half of two other of those things. (Sorry, kitchen floor, you're gonna have to wait.)
Pisces/Virgo rising explains so much! I always thought I was way to particular and detailed to be a pisces...
until I looked at the bank draft which said $7545, I did not believe that my sister was actualy bringing in money part-time from their computer.. there uncle has been doing this for only 12 months and by now repayed the dept on there condo and bought themselves a McLaren F1. we looked here, Exit35.com
This is frighteningly accurate for me! Except the I.U.D.
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