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Thursday, May 2, 2013

215

The Friday Night Pie

Previously: What Are We Doing Like No One's Watching?

Ann Friedman might swing by. How late will you be there?

215 Comments / Post A Comment

sarah girl

Where is the "Crippling depression" wedge?

calamity

@sarah girl That's a subset of the by the "too high to move" wedge for me. Yes, I do have great coping mechanisms, thanks!

SarcasticFringehead

@sarah girl I'm hogging it all?

Jocasta Carr

@sarah girl Yep, that is pretty much 100% of the pie for me this week. My coping mechanisms are Netflix and eating an entire bag of Jelly Bellies. Thanks, brain!

SarcasticFringehead

@Jocasta Carr Yep. The grocery store had Jelly Bellies on sale last week, so I've been working my way through a mixed bag of cherry & pomegranate (when I feel like eating at all! whee!) and putting on Dirty Jobs while working on my thesis because Mike Rowe is less distracting than thinking about what is wrong with my brain.

spoondisaster

@sarah girl Right next to the "I ran out of Xanax last week but since it's a controlled substance I can't get more until next week" wedge

zamboni

@sarah girl I ate it, as an emotional eating attempt to cope with my crippling depression

jams

putting on Dirty Jobs while working on my thesis because Mike Rowe is less distracting than thinking about what is wrong with my brain. website

jams

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jams

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jams

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beatrix

wonderfullllllll@l

parallel-lines

Everyone at bar so hot/young/single/not yet crushed by the hardships of life. Also, no where to sit and too loud: 90%.

Already have full box of white wine in fridge that is free/unlimited: 5%.

Chance to yell at the tacky women during a "Say Yes to the Dress" marathon too good to pass up: 5%.

parallel-lines

@parallel-lines "Why won't you listen to your 30 gay cousins and take off that Pnina Tornai monstrosity you crazy woman!? Is everything stupid strapless princess gown?!" (throws babybel cheese waxes at tv)

hallelujah

@parallel-lines EVERY FRIDAY. "Girl, you're 35. Cut that princess shit OUT RIGHT NOW."

SarcasticFringehead

@parallel-lines OH MY GOD Pnina Tornai. "Sure, a drop-waist sheer corset is both flattering and wedding-appropriate" said no one ever.

(I mean, yes, you should wear whatever makes you happy to your wedding, but those dresses are awful).

parallel-lines

@SarcasticFringehead I really want something that makes me look like a cross between a princess, a stripper, and one of those bedazzled iphone covers that Paris Hilton likes. And it should cost at least $10K, MINIMUM. Bonus points if it makes my back and armpit skin crawl up to my neck in an effort to escape.

parallel-lines

@parallel-lines And I actually did the Kleinfeld visit when I was buying a dress (a fun thing to do if you've ever wanted a woman from Long Island screaming in your face that you'll never get anything for $3000 before leaving you with her 20 year old assistant) and I got to see the Tornai dresses in person. There's obviously a lot of work that goes into them...but they are hideous. They look so itchy and they're just...god, they're so gaudy. I had to see it to believe it.

Ophelia

@parallel-lines I think they're specifically designed for Staten Island. (sorry Staten Island, but I just sat in traffic in you for 50 minutes, and I'm bitter.)

sevanetta

@parallel-lines honestly I found it weird watching my 22 year old sister in law / 20 year old family friend get married in frou frou $2000 white dresses. I tried to justify it to myself that they were young enough to pull off the layers-of-satin, oodles-of-lace and big-bow-on-the-hip look, but... if i had got married at 22 I wouldn't have worn that then either... eghhhh

Bittersweet

@parallel-lines Yay, I love Say Yes to the Dress for precisely these reasons. I'm continually amazed at things people will actually say about their relatives/friends on national television, and at the idea that people think a Pnina Tornai dress is couture.

parallel-lines

@Bittersweet You know what bothers me the most about those dresses--they all have the lace up back/corset thing. THAT'S CHEAP. Like, that is a cheap way to make a dress fit so you don't have to spend so much on tailoring. If you're spending $10K that shit should fit your body like a glove and the tailoring should be immaculate! I'm also amazed at how they make thin women look weird and not thin, I don't know why someone would pay to do that to themselves.

Bittersweet

@parallel-lines The lace-up back thing looks cheap, and the see-through lace corset looks incredibly cheap...and whorey. I don't understand the idea that women want to look like they're wearing undergarments on their Big Day. But then again, I'm old and conservative and my wedding dress had sleeves.

par_parenthese

Substitute "bottle of bourbon" for "wheel of smoked gouda" and "drunk" for "high" and you basically have my Friday nights always.

PatatasBravas

You and me both (and I'm braless, too).

raised amongst catalogs

@PatatasBravas The "three B" guarantee for a good time: Bourbon, bralessness, "Bad Time" cover by the Jayhawks. (Are we still Jayhawks friends?)

PatatasBravas

FUCK YES WE ARE, UNTIL THE END OF DAYS

PatatasBravas

can we have a three b party or is that weird, do they only exist as one person parties?

raised amongst catalogs

@par_parenthese These should make it less weird. Next best thing to bralessness. Join me any time you like in a Three B party. Makes the harmonies so much easier to do.

maybe partying will help

@PatatasBravas

The 3 Bs thing reminds me of this middle-grade book called Cages wherein the main character had a coping mechanism of Bs too! Her Bs were "bubble bath, book, bag of chocolate stars."

I was twenty-five before I encountered chocolate stars (in this AMAZING candy store in Cleveland) and I yelped and tried to explain my excitement to my fellow candy-buyers but apparently no one else read deeply depressing books about abusive parents and dogs in their tween years.

raised amongst catalogs

@par_parenthese With the exceptions of the Anastasia books, Baby-Sitters Club, Skinnybones and Elizabeth Enright's books about the Melendy children, I read exclusively deeply depressing books as an elementary-schooler/middle-schooler. I read and re-read the following who knows how many times:
Nobody's Fault, in which the older brother dies in a tragic lawn mower accident
Follow My Leader, in which the protagonist is blinded by a firecracker and must adjust to his new situation with the help of a seeing-eye German Shepherd
Afternoon of the Elves, in which a girl befriends a classmate whose mother is unfit and who is basically starving and forced to steal food and live in a decrepit house until the authorities take her away
Cracker Jackson, in which a fearful young boy discovers that his beloved babysitter is being abused by her husband
I, Trissy, in which a troubled young girl has only a typewriter to share her feelings with
The Two-Thousand Pound Goldfish, in which a boy longs for his mother, who is a political activist whose actions have her wanted by the FBI and who left him and his sister with their grandmother
Good-Bye, Pink Pig, in which a super sad and lonely young girl with a massive inferiority complex lives in a dream world where her glass figurines come to life

Also, I really want some chocolate stars. I am picturing these, but perhaps I am wrong?

maybe partying will help

@raised amongst catalogs

Yeah, those were like the stars I saw! Like a Kiss but FANCY.

themegnapkin

@raised amongst catalogs are you my age (34)? I read Anastasia, BSC, Nobody's Fault, Follow My Leader, the Two-Thousand Pound Goldfish, and Good-bye, Pink Pig. Plus, Izzy Willy-Nilly, about a teenager who loses her leg in a tragic drunk driving accident.

raised amongst catalogs

@themegnapkin I'm 35, so yes-ish! I also read Izzy Willy-Nilly but had forgotten about it! Also, there were a handful of books about two girls who became friends while in the hospital having treatment for scoliosis -- Just Like Always was the first one, followed by Where Are You, Cow Patty? & I Love You, Janie Tannenbaum.

Mae
Mae

@raised amongst catalogs The Melendy children! I loved those books so much, but whenever I mention them to anyone (former bookworms, even) no one else seems to have read them.

raised amongst catalogs

@Mae I think the handful of people I've ever encountered who knew what I was talking about were all Hairpinners. Seriously, those books! I read them to death and still go back to them once a year for comfort/nostalgia/good-feels. I had a monster crush on Rush.

beecaveroad

Took a "five minute nap" at 9 PM: 15%

lora.bee

@margaret_r See also: made foolish mistake of lying down on couch upon arrival home from work and now can't get up again.

beecaveroad

@lora.bee this happens to me so often my boyfriend is worried about me/exasperated with me. Somehow just getting in bed seems like defeat, but just laying down on the couch for onnnne second... under the blanket... is a dignified way to go to bed at 8 PM.

Ophelia

@margaret_r If it's on the couch, it's a party nap, not "going to bed." TrueFact.

lobsterhug

My cat is on top of me: 5%

I'm reading a really good book and my Kindle says I can finish it tonight: 25%

I already put on my comfy clothes: 70%

par_parenthese

@lobsterhug "I already put on my comfy clothes" is about 90% of the reason I have no groceries in my fridge right now.

beecaveroad

@lobsterhug Exactly. Like I'm going to switch from yoga pants to skinny jeans? Hahahaha

fondue with cheddar

@lobsterhug A cat on top of me is what keeps me from getting off the couch most of the time. I mean...I could just push them off my lap but it's a convenient excuse. But look how cute and happy she is! I can't disturb her!

sorry your heinous

Fear of pop arithmetic quizzes.

@sorry your heinous It's okay, pie charts can add up to 105%

MilesofMountains

Switch "bra" for "pants" and that's about 100% of the pie.

City_Dater

@MilesofMountains

The pie is 99% "Took off constricting garments; cannot put them back on" with 1% "there's wine here that's better than whatever is being served there."

MilesofMountains

@City_Dater Or even worse, "I will have to drive home and so can only have a single glass of wine there. Here I can drink as much as I want."

one cow.

@MilesofMountains I was sitting here thinking, "Do most girls not wear a bra at home? That's so weird to me." and then looked down to remember that I am wearing a bra, skinny jeans, socks, yet no shirt. At my computer in my dining room. So, to each her own.

cinnamonskin

@one cow. I always wear bras. But I usually work at home, and I just had to wear all the shoes and shirts and dresses and makeup for A WEEK. Now I have no shoes, a Mrs Roper Dress, and puppies again. Winning.

Oh, squiggles

Because we are made of delicious pastry.

anachronistique

@Absurd Bird What's sad is that I read this comment this afternoon, shrugged it off as a non sequitur, and JUST NOW realized while catching up on the thread that you were making an excellent pun. i'm so ashamed

TheLetterL

A little too close to home. How did you know about the smoked gouda?

olivebee

"Don't know anyone else who's going" is the primary factor in my decision making for most plans, and that decision is usually "no, thanks." Man, I'm fun!

Also, if I have already gotten into my comfy clothes for the evening (like I do immediately after work every day), then I usually will not go back out....unless it's to the store for ice cream, because cashiers don't care about my sweats.

mynamebackwards

@olivebee the apartment door has barely closed behind me before I am stripping off my work clothes in order to replace them with leggings/muumuu/robe. real clothes are the worst!

KatieBarTheDoor

@mynamebackwards Yeah, I've been working from home for the past 4 months while trying to find a new job. And as much as I'd like to find that new job, a not-insignificant part of me is dreading it because it means I'll have to put on real clothes every day.

olivebee

@mynamebackwards Not only are comfy clothes obviously more comfortable, but I also don't want my pretty work/going out/etc. clothes to get covered in cat hair or develop saggy knees/butt area. I honestly have to know about plans at least a day in advance, because you will never get me out of my sweats once I'm in them.

KatieBarTheDoor

@olivebee "I honestly have to know about plans at least a day in advance, because you will never get me out of my sweats once I'm in them." ---> This is me. Particularly if I've already washed my face and would have to reapply makeup to go out.

mynamebackwards

@olivebee 99% of the time, my answer to a text asking me to come out for a spontaneous drink is "can we do tomorrow instead?" and the reason why, 100% of the time, is because I am not wearing pants.

Danzig!

@olivebee one thing I really, really miss about New York is how dense it is. Unless you are a hermit (like my former roomies) you acclimate to doing things with people you don't know pretty quickly, because you're never really alone, and you sort of... soak up social energy by osmosis.

Alli525

@KatieBarTheDoor ME TOO. Once I've pinned my bangs up, you are SOL. Although, half the time, this plan backfires because on the weekends I put on sweatpants as soon as I get out of the shower, so I end up not doing anything simply because my sweats are too comfy. Sigh.

Hellcat

@olivebee Add to this, "...and the person I do know is the entertainment at venue, so not only will I be sitting alone but I have to look as I don't mind in an effort to be a supportive GF." Plus the, "I drove myself and have a low alcohol tolerance" so that non-drinking part that someone mentioned above is also me.

DandelionTacy

@Hellcat Oh GOD I spent too many years being the supportive GF at gigs who always ended up driving home because dude would always agree to drink responsibly, and then not do that.

Hellcat

@DandelionTacy This has indeed happened to us too (we had to get a cab once because he pulled that stunt after I already drank half my face off! We live in Jersey; cabs aren't normal for us), but he's pretty good. He rarely knows if I'm gonna show up, so he behaves. Plus, we're in our 40s so, you know, he better because that's just sad!

Sea Ermine

@Danzig! yessss this. I get so lonely when I don't live in very dense , crowded, noisy area. I live in New York now and went to high school in Bangkok and it is/was the best because I am very very shy but also extroverted. So even if I am panicking about meeting strangers or not knowing anyone I never have to feel alone.

Blushingflwr

@Sea Ermine See, that's funny, because I consider myself a mild extrovert and I am also shy, and crowded social places are the worst for me. I mean, I am a city girl at heart, but going someplace where everyone else is there with people they know is awful for me, because it just highlights that I am not having any social interaction and I feel lonelier.

swirrlygrrl

@Danzig! Yeaaaah, that only works if you are an extravert.

Sea Ermine

@Blushingflwr See I feel like that (awkward/lonely) at parties where I don't know anyone, regardless of whether I'm in a city or a small town. But for just walking around, or going to a restaurant alone, or exploring, I'd much rather do it when there are a bunch of people bustling around me.

Blushingflwr

@Sea Ermine Yeah, parties where I don't know anyone are the worst for that. When I was at my loneliest, anything where people were socializing exacerbated it for me; now that I have an active social life, it's less of a problem. I like the bustle of cities, but I don't like crowds, especially poorly organized ones (e.g I can handle Metro during rush hour because everyone knows where they're going, but Metro on a Saturday during Cherry Blossom season is my version of purgatory). But my I/E level is basically smack in the middle, which means I'm always trying to find the perfect balance.

Jobs In Logistics

Logistics Jobshop here, just thanking you for the excellent Blog - always a pleasure to read through the wealth of comments.
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Briony Fields

So accurate it hurts. Between "I only know two people there! Awkward!" and "Ew, everyone and their cousin is there! Too much socializing!", my Friday nights tend to be um, quiet.

smidge

@Briony Fields "Too many people going who I kind of know and could talk to but who will probably want to talk to people they are closer friends with" yep.

Hellcat

@smidge And somehow that ends up being worse than "I don't know anyone there"!

terrific

"Don't know anyone else who's going" so perfectly describes 75% of the bullshit reasons I've given for skipping NYC 'Pinups. The other 25% is a combination of "I'm broke" and "I don't want to travel all the way to the East Village/LES/Brooklyn." I'm lazy. :(

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

@terrific not knowing anyone is the fun part! u can be whoever u want

meetapossum

@terrific We are the same person. I don't leave Astoria anymore, apparently.

terrific

@meetapossum Yes we actually are because I never leave Astoria except for work things and birthday parties of close friends

Alli525

@terrific @meetapossum I am the exact same way... astoria is the best. I live right across from a grocery store, so I just don't ever leave the 'hood.

My friend texted me today that she wants to do karaoke in K'town, and I realized just then that 34th street is about as far into Manhattan as I'll ever go on a Saturday night unless there is something Very Important and Mandatory happening in the East Village. Otherwise fuhgeddaboutit.

meetapossum

@Alli525 I can't remember the last time I wasn't in Astoria on a Saturday night. I'm going to Brooklyn this Saturday and that's slightly mitigated by the fact that my friends and I will take a cab back to the neighborhood afterward.

Professor Zero

Just, y'know, tired.

fondue with cheddar

@Professor Zero 100%

BosomBuddy

Don't have anything to flake: 90%

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

i have to take a train to where life is

Bittersweet

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Yep.

Danzig!

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood it's a weird sentiment to me because I'm from out West and after a year in NY I would KILL to have a subway out here. You think riding a train is a hassle, try having to drive everywhere. Traffic, parking, no time for reading, and the good possibility that you will get into expensive or dangerous accidents.

I loved NY. Being able to get up, walk a short distance, sit a long distance, and end up somewhere alive and interesting was an enticement to go out, not a hindrance.

cminor

@Danzig! Yes! I love riding the train, even if it takes me 40 min to get anywhere. I don't have to park, I can drink whatever I want and I can do 1/4 of a crossword on the way there (I've got a book of "ten min" Mensa crosswords. They're fucking liars, I'd like to see the crossword champion (probably an awesome grandma) who can do them in 10 min.)

grizzle_bees

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood "I have to travel more than right around the corner to where things are happening" ugh.

alabee

I'm 105% on board with this.

sorry your heinous

@alabee You phrased this so much better than me

lora.bee

Got sucked into the black hole that is Modern Seinfeld tweets and now it is midnight: 5%

highfivesforall

@lora.bee Those people are geniuses.

olivebee

@lora.bee Getting sucked into ANY internet black hole.

Common conversation between my husband and me:

"You coming?"
"Be there in 5!"(Keeps reading fascinating Internet stuff for 45 minutes)
(Husband pops head into the room) "I thought you were coming to [watch movie/grab food/fool around/etc.]?!"

Saaoirse

@lora.bee okay but are you talking about actual modern Seinfeld ("It's an IPAD, Jerry, an IPAD, an IPAD, it IS, JERRY, JERRY, an IPAD,") or the 1000% better and more confusing @Seinfeld2000? Or is this controversy the black hole you're talking about?

highfivesforall

@Saaoirse Whoa, I had not seen that one before - that shit is bananas.

lora.bee

@Saaoirse ....okay but seriously, what is this @Seinfeld2000??

Saaoirse

@lora.bee and @highfivesforall I mean, this is one of my favourite things ever but I get that a lot of people don't find it funny at all. For me it sort of boils down to two things. The first is that it's making fun of reference humour in general and Modern Seinfeld in particular, which is why you get tweets about Gangnam Style and Lena Dunham. The second is that it's about a character, the character of @seinfeld2000, who understands neither the show nor the idea of coming up with plot synopses for it, or why that would be funny. Which is why you get tweets about Presiednet Obame yelling at Grag for being on a hover toilet, and why the spelling, and so on.

And also then you just have a nice veneer of absurdist humour.

I know dissecting the joke doesn't make it funny but I think a lot of people are really baffled about the appeal of this novelty twitter account so I thought I would write out an explanation of why I care so much about this novelty twitter account, because I do, I care so much that I bought the e-book.

iceberg

100% have triplet toddlers, but lately also 100% don't drive, don't know anyone who's going well enough to get a ride home, and it's in a sketchy nabe, PAST MY BEDTIME.

parallel-lines

@iceberg Three human beings depend on me for survival is a pretty fine reason for flaking.

iceberg

@parallel-lines more like, no-one invited me anywhere because I have triplets?

PistolPackinMama

@iceberg let's watch TV and drink wine. You free this weekend?

PatatasBravas

I would invite you to all of my parties, but you are probably too far away.

par_parenthese

@PistolPackinMama Inviting myself because TV+wine is literally my favorite weekend plan.

@PistolPackinMama I'm drinking wine and not writing my finals. Solidarity.

par_parenthese

Wait wait revised:
Hitting "refresh" on the FOT: 90%
This bottle of bourbon isn't going to drink itself: 10%

cminor

@par_parenthese I was actually late to a few things the past few weeks because of this. I didn't want to miss anything on the FOT.

flanhoodles

Mean Girls is on TV again. 33%
Ex Boyfriend is going to be there. 33%
The Hairpin put up another post about the men of Game of Thrones. 33%

flanhoodles

@flanhoodles
I made out with the bartender. 33%
My roommate made out with the bartender. 33%
Mountain lion spotted in the neighborhood. 33%

whizz_dumb

Who's going to fess up to "somebody else, who I like more, suddenly wants to hangout"?

par_parenthese

@whizz_dumb Hand up.

zamboni

@whizz_dumb I WISH.

RNL
RNL

@whizz_dumb Thank you.

"I made six sets of plans, waited to see which looked best, and yours lost. Sorry."

I'm a jerk, I'm sorry.

Rubyinthedust

@RNL it was my new years resolution to not do this anymore.

anachronistique

Bra is off: 30%
Need to watch last night's Parks and Rec: 50%
Have to go to bed early to make it up in time for Saturday brunch: 20%

lobsterhug

@anachronistique I like these priorities. I hate missing brunch because I'm too tired.

leonstj

"Agreed to plans before considering how much travel time was involved" is a massive amount of my flaking.

Danzig!

@leon s my friends actually get annoyed by my propensity for commuting over an hour to see them at the drop of a hat. I really like my friends.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@leon s
"Agreed to plans before considering how much time travel was involved." - Marty McFly

whizz_dumb

I went out Sunday through Thursday again and I prefer not being hungover on my days off.

Rubyinthedust

@whizz_dumb this.

RNL
RNL

Ugh you guys are all my boyfriend and I hate you. Let's go oooooouuuuuuuuut out out out out out I need stimulus and Netflix is NOT ENOUGH we can watch it when we get home you sleep too much.

Extroverts FTW?

Pariah Carey

@RNL Yep. Extroversion + 10 year age difference. TAKE ME OUT! I WANT TO DRESS UP! BUY ME A DRINK! I'm getting older (erm, mid-20s) so it's not like I want to stay until bar close anyway.

Brunhilde

@RNL Out all the time! The bar is where I go to relax. Home is stressful and boring and dumb.

honey cowl

@RNL I have such a hard time understanding y'all. So what if I'm 24, I want to be an old lady okay? Thankfully my also-24 boyfriend wants to be an old man.

RNL
RNL

@honey cowl Don't worry! Everyone I know is like "omg you're too much" which is why (in part) I have a lot of friends - gotta spread myself out. I'm also great for throwing parties that I'm totally happy for you to come or not come to, depending on your current location in the pie chart above.

And I'm way older than you! I just like to doooooooooo stuuuuuuuuffff. All the time. Every day. I've been out every night this week and have plans until forever. Except Saturday when my bf demands that we stay home and have non-sleepy sex, which I'm good with.

Rubyinthedust

@RNL me too i actually worried about myself for a while because i am OBSESSIVELY social. the only reason i reduced my nights out per week was because I moved to a town where I don't know anyone. probably won't stop me for long.

cminor

@RNL I consider myself an introvert, but I love going out. I'll go out every night. My boyfriend's 28 (which is not old, but I'm a baby 22), and most of his friends are that age or older, and we're all semi-professional delinquents (Albeit most of us with professional day jobs).

Jinxie

@RNL I'd be more inclined to go out at night if "going out" didn't mean "leaving the house at 10:30pm". I'm up at 6:30 every day for work (and I've been doing that for long enough that it's when I wake up even on weekends, just 'cause I'm used to it) and by 10:30, 11pm, I am TIRED. Especially by the end of the work week! I will happily go out of drinks after work, or do fun stuff during the day on weekends, or go out for dinner, but I just don't have the energy for late nights at bars these days. (Luckily most of my friends these days are tired old people like myself, so :)

Sea Ermine

@RNL yessss. I always want to go somewhere. Not late, because I get sleepy but as much as I love TV staying in and watching Netflix pantless is not my idea of a fun night. My boyfriend is the opposite I feel bad leaving my boyfriend behind all the time (I mean, not so bad enough that it stops me, especially since I know he's fine alone and encourages me to go out).

@Jinxie Seriously. The last thing I want to do is get on the train at 10:30pm. No. NO. NO I AM NOT DOING THAT. Sorry.

erindubitably

Stayed up all Thursday night adding and re-adding percentages of pie chart; too exhausted now: 100%

Rubyinthedust

don't get the whole no bra thing. in no way is that comfy for me. and i don't even have big boobs.

SarcasticFringehead

@Rubyinthedust Before I got bras that fit, taking them off at the end of the day was the best feeling in the world. Now it's actually more comfortable than not to wear them around the house.

up cubed

@Rubyinthedust Sports bra or shelf-bras shirts are my comfy outfit foundations. But no underpants! Those are for protecting 'real clothes' and facing the public.

RNL
RNL

FREEBOOB

Hellcat

@upupandaway I have a drawer full of various colored (the lighter ones that don't show the cat hair are best) $6 shelf-bra tops for my frequent stay-homitude.

Helvetica

@Rubyinthedust I was so saving this question for FOT. Will be revisited for the sake of (wo)mankind.

fondue with cheddar

@SarcasticFringehead I'm starting to think there's no such thing as bras that fit. And even if there is a bra that fits, it will only fit me three days a month.

itiresias

@Rubyinthedust 100%

almighty jugs

Two hour radio silence between texts leading to the perfectly reasonable belief that nothing was happening, followed by sudden onslaught of "we're at ______ where are you???" once I've taken my real people clothes off and taken my contacts out: 75%
Mild agoraphobia: 25%

asdlkfasldfja this one struck a bit of a chord tonight :<

PistolPackinMama

@almighty jugs I cannot even express how familiar the first one is. So ennervating. SO ENNERVATING.

charmcity

Workin on my night cheeeese .... 98%

fondue with cheddar

@charmcity Tryin' to eat those gorgonzola bleus...

par_parenthese

OK. @TARDIStime. I see stuff when you reply in my email notifications ONLY, but never in the thread. WTH is happening with that, mods/Edith? Any thoughts?

par_parenthese

Also, I had to turn on adblocker for this site to get it to load at all. Works fine in other browsers, but the ads + Chrome = apparently awful.

(Also sorry about these comments, should I just email someone?! Eep!)

Jinxie

@par_parenthese Could be that they're just deleting their posts (either accidentally or on purpose)?

par_parenthese

@Jinxie I s'pose, but it's happened SEVERAL times in the last few weeks. Which made me suspect a problem.

mermaid

Because vodka goes bad when it's opened: 15%

@mermaid Because wine only turns into alcohol when you let it sit, and you let it sit while you changed into yoga pants.

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Because math is hard?!?! 105%?

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@vunder Ann's pies transcend pi.

maybe partying will help

God this was me THIS ENTIRE WEEK. This week was shit and all my wine's already gone. Poor planning.

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My New Year's plans this year were originally to stay home, watch cheesy movies, and drink wine. Some friends decided at the last minute to throw a party, but I didn't have a way to get there. My boyfriend called and said "hey, do you want to go?". My first question was "do I have to put on pants?". Since my friends are awesome, the answer was actually "no", and I went in my PJs. If real clothes had been required, I probably would have said no.

Also, my rule is that I do not go home until I am done for the day. It is a 15-minute walk from my house to the Metro; once I'm home, I'm done, and I'm not leaving again till morning.

@Blushingflwr I need to implement this rule for myself, even if it means having a gym bag at the office. It's true... once I go home, I pull on sweats and do not leave until the next day.

grizzle_bees

You are all my spirit animals (except for the extroverts, sorry social butterflies). I would also add that I'm a "pre-flaker," in that I'm at work with plans to meet up afterwards but suddenly I get tired/it starts to rain/I start dreaming about snacks, booze, Netflix and elastic waistbands on my couch and I send the "I feel like an asshole but...can we reschedule?" text.

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I think what I like most about this pie is that "flaking" is in the title, and a good pie has a flaky crust, and pie is really delicious and you know, I maybe just ate an enormous breakfast but I could totally go for a slice or two right now.

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50% I said yes at the time but never meant to go; 25% I need at least 24 hrs notice if I'm going to be expected to go anywhere; 15% I've been binge-watching some show and need to blog my feminist critique of it; 10% I'm broke as a joke.

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