Wednesday, May 22, 2013


Further Ways In Which Beyoncé Is Problematic

1. Beyoncé has 11 more nickels than quarters. How many coins does she have if the total value of her coins is $2.65?

2. Beyoncé is 31 years old. Four years from now, she will be 10 years older than five times Blue Ivy's age. How old is Blue Ivy's secret surrogate mom?

3. Beyoncé is negotiating a new sponsorship deal with Pepsi. They offer her either a flat fee of a million dollars or a penny doubled every day for a month. Which should she choose? 

4. The 2009 MTV Video Music Award judges said Taylor Swift had the best female video of the year. But Kanye West said Beyoncé had the best video of the year. One only lies and the other only tells the truth. Is there one question you could ask to determine the truth, or is Beyoncé a class act irrespective of her accolades? Show your work.

5. If Beyoncé leaves the Los Angeles Staples Center in a train traveling 60 miles per hour on Friday and needs to reach the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas by Saturday, but then has to return to the Staples Center for another show on Monday, does she secretly own a time-turner? Or maybe she can fly. Discuss.

(Further reading.)

Blair Thornburgh is a writer in Philadelphia.

33 Comments / Post A Comment


It was my understanding there would be no math.

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

@Emby now everyone is gonna know (without a shadow of a doubt) that i am stupid


A world in which beyonce and time turners both exist, and are combined together in a mathematical problem solving sense, might be just a little TOO magical for me.


I actually did the first question to see if it was a real math problem or if Blair just made it up. It works out!


@SarahP I adapted that from a pre-algebra tutorial site with animated GIFs, so I figured it had to be legit.


@blair Only if the GIFs were pronounced correctly.


@blair Were they Beyonce GIFs?

Oh god, I want Beyonce math GIFS.


@blair If all the single ladies put their hands up, how many hands will be up?


@PistolPackinMama THE BEST


1) 7 quarters 18 nickels
3)2^30 is ~1 billion dollars, so thats 31 days. Even if its February thats still ~125 Million.
4)Kayne are you really going to let Taylor finish?
5) I'm guessing she can fly.

Don't give me math problems, my brain is required to solve them.

What up fellow Continental Math Leaguians.


@Biketastrophy Prove that no 3 positive integers a, b, and c can satisfy the equation a^n + b^n = c^n for any integer value of n greater than 2.


@Emby Proofs are definitely something I've forgotten. However I've been staring at this trying to think of why it doesn't work. So taking the smallest numbers that don't cube to themselves (2,3,4) you get 8+27=64, which obviously isn't true, and then if you keep going larger the gap will just widen and never contract to allow that equation to be true.

Also damn you, cause I was trying to just leave it at "Forgot how to do proofs!" And instead tried to verbally solve it.

(1,2,3)= 1+8=27
(3,4,5)= 27+64=125
(4,5,6)= 64+125=216

Okay so my reasoning is wrong. But I'm guessing this is an approach but never reach thing.


@Biketastrophy Haha sorry! That was kind of a mean-ish trick by me. That's a kinda-sorta famous math problem known as Fermat's Last Theorem that was asserted to be solved by Fermat in the 1600s, but he wrote something to the effect of "I have discovered a wondrous solution to this problem, but I don't have enough space in the margin to write out the proof!" And so people bickered back and forth for the better part of four centuries as to whether Fermat actually solved it, or if he was bullshitting. But then someone else (an American, I think?) actually did provide a proof for it like 10 or 15 years ago, but still nobody knows whether Fermat solved it 400 years ago or if he was full of shit.

ETA: It was finally conclusively solved by Englishman Andrew Wiles in 1994.


@Biketastrophy I calculated that one too, whatever that says about me. ^_^ I think you're off by a couple of 0's. It starts with a penny (.01), not a dollar (1.0), so when I calculate it I get over $10 million at 31 days, not $1 billion. STILL, it's a whole lot of money! I would never have guessed it would get that high so quickly.


@CaddyFdot Whoops! You're right I forgot to move the decimal place in my 2^30 calculation. So February would be at 1.25 Mil not 125. She should still take the penny though!


@Emby - My favorite is the Goldbach Conjecture. When I learned about this (in a video we watched in an Analytic Philosophy class that was actually about Wiles / Fermat & weird shit like Peano Postulates & axiomatic set theory (told you all i studied the boring kind of philosophy) ) I was CONVINCED I should drop everything, change my major to number theory, and dedicate my life to unsolvable math problems.

I am so, so, so very glad I abandoned that plan.


@Emby Fermat's Enigma is a book I enjoyed a whole lot about this!

Tuna Surprise

1. 7 quarters/18 nickels
2. Did anyone see Solange during the time Beyonce was pregnant? Just asking...
3. Accept the offer from Mountain Dew
4. You could ask Beyonce why she needs Kanye West to do her bidding
5. Beyonce is the reason Las Vegas is on Pacific time, not Mountain time, as it really should be.


The limit does not exist.

Atheist Watermelon




This makes me so happy.


4) Kanye only speaks his truth. He is incapable of lying.


@PatatasBravas Ask the judges and Kanye whether George Bush cares about black people.

Li'l Sebastian

This produced actual lols up in my house. Well done, Blair.

Disco Sheets

4.) Ask either one "What would the other person tell me?" Thanks Labyrinth!!!


I fucking love you people.




@Emby Fermat's Enigma is a book I enjoyed a whole lot about this!


You guys are hilarious. Lawyer

Jonas Ruess

What's up everyone, I am sure you will be enjoying here by watching these hilarious videos. Dragon City Hack Android

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