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Monday, May 20, 2013

28

Books I Would Read If They Were Real

1. Cut Me Off A Slice Of That: Bread Fetishists

2. "What’s That Smell, Special Agent?": An FBI Scratch-N-Sniff

3. One Beauty My Ass: Jo March In Her Own Words

4. Cakes With Alive Things In Them: A How-To

5. Secret Nude Portraits of Henry VIII

6. Let’s Dewey This: Librarians Versus Librarians

7. The Raptor is Coming: Tails of Fundamentalist Dinosaurs

8. Cats Wearing Glasses: It’s Not Humor, It’s Astigmatism

9. You Forgot To Take Out The Recycling: Roommates Who Aren’t Really That Bad

10. Like Roger Rabbit!: Movies You Forgot About But Really Liked At The Time

Previously: 10 Things My Yoga Instructor Said That Almost Made Me Quit Yoga

Rebecca Jane Stokes also TumblsTweets, and Gets Looks.

28 Comments / Post A Comment

par_parenthese

One Beauty My Ass: Jo March in Her Own Words LOL'ing forever.

par_parenthese

I have seriously been thinking for a week about the restraint Jo had to show when her sister took one look at her shorn head and thought, Generosity and selflessness be damned, I need to comment on her looks, STAT.

teaandcakeordeath

@par_parenthese
I believe in the original manuscript Jo retorted 'shut up, Limehead' and snorted derisively.

#stillloveamy, #seriouslyeveryonehassaiddumbstufftheycanttakeback

mattewmc

Totally!@t

Bittersweet

I will only co-sign on #5 if it's limited to Young Hot Henry, not Old Portly Suppurating Leg Wound Henry.

PatatasBravas

@Bittersweet I would read #5 if it was exclusively Old Portly Suppurating Leg Wound Henry because oh my god, can you even imagine, he was like a real-life episode of CSI:Whatever but not dead yet!

PatatasBravas

...or a waking nightmare culmination of all of my WebMD self-diagnosis results when I've got a sore throat for a few hours.

par_parenthese

@Bittersweet I was thinking exactly the same thing.

@PatatasBravas I guess I should say thanks for changing your profile pic? I'll probably be more productive now, you know, without the sighing and batting my eyelashes every time you comment.

PatatasBravas

I was smitten with the "Potatoes Gonna Potate" line, but who knows, I might just switch it up every few months!

279th District Court

@Bittersweet
Does it make me a bad person that I actually want the gross leg wound pictures just because I want him to feel exposed and vulnerable the way Katherine Howard must have?

Probably. But I'm okay with that.

formergr

I would not only read #4, but try out the recipes in a heartbeat.

And #7, The Raptor is Coming: Tails of Fundamentalist Dinosaurs, is hilarious. Of course, I say this as my favorite t-shirt to wear on weekends has a dinosaur on it with "Never Forget" written above it. It's fun to see how different people react to it...

VDRE

@formergr My brother gave me a shirt from the Creation Museum with a dinosaur on it that says "God created me on day 6". I really enjoy wearing it at work (I do biology research) and watching people be confused.

bonymaroni

@VDRE I went to that museum and I bought that shirt! Am still too scared to wear it in public in case someone thinks I believe it.

formergr

@bonymaroni You're right to be scared-- I dressed up as a Tea Partier (with completely ridiculous sign and fanny pack) for Halloween when debate on health care reform was heating up, and several people at the bar came up to me to thank me for "being so involved", and being "part of the cause". Gah!!

formergr

@VDRE Ha ha, that's great!

279th District Court

@formergr One of the great regrets of my life is not going to the Creationist Amusement Park near my grad school before it burned to the ground. I like to think someone realized they were being mocked (civil war figurines fighting dinosaurs!!) and committed arson. That consoles me for missing it in the first place.

area@twitter

Yes to all of these, Particularly #1, which might explain more about my life than I care to admit.

"I want to be the filling in a sandwich. ...No. An actual sandwich." ::smearing self with peanut butter and jelly::

Ellie

@area@twitter There might be a Craigslist ad about this somewhere. The closest I can immediately think of is this: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/943626343.html

area@twitter

@Ellie Fuck me, of course there is.

whizz_dumb

My friend and I were in the process of compiling a list with this exact idea. It was to be called "Conveniently Developed Titles For Your Next Nonfiction Book" Touché Rebecca, looks like it's back to the drawing board.
For instance there's a trilogy.

The Airportmantome: Your guide to word combination on the go
Seaportmantome: Your waterproof guide to word combination, and now, Sportmantome: Your armband guide to word combination

raspberryfool

@whizz_dumb Spaceportmantome: Your guide to word combination that's out of this world!

raspberryfool

#6 describes a vicious if very very slow battle. My college library was deadlocked between Dewey and Library of Congress supporters. I was very surprised as a student worker to discover that, after years of infighting and committee meetings (at least according to my supervisor when I asked her about all of this), some chunks of the library were cataloged in Dewey and others in LCC, sometimes on the same floor and sometimes within spitting distance. And, for the time being anyway, the librarians had as a group given up on converting the library wholly to one system or the other because the arguments never got anywhere and nobody won.

J Walter Weatherman

@raspberryfool Cutter Expansive Classification OR NOTHING

stuart

You are allowed to post names, but not links, unless they are approved and on topic.
How to make a website

Jak Jani@facebook

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samjohn4810

I have seriously been thinking for a week about the restraint Jo had to show when her sister took one look at her shorn head and thought, Generosity and selflessness be damned, I need to comment on her looks, STAT. Acne

487590051@twitter

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