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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

131

What Goes With Your Netflix Marathon

Sometimes it’s impossible to deal with going on a real date, attending a cultural event where you might actually have to think, or doing whatever else you’re supposed to be doing with your leisure time to be a well-rounded human being. Sometimes you need to binge-watch your favorite television shows in slipper socks and mismatched pajamas. Here’s what to drink with what you’re watching.

The iconic girl-power series Buffy the Vampire Slayer cries out for semi-sweet Riesling. Look for feinherb, Kabinett, or halbtrocken on the label, and don’t be afraid of inexpensive liter bottles. Like Buffy, on the surface, off-dry Riesling is all fun and lightness and floral aromas. I mean, you know homegirl wore body spray from Bath and Body Works, or the Body Shop White Musk, right? Not to mention those nail polish colors that just had to be Revlon Street Wear (RIP). Good Riesling, just like a good Buffy episode, has a lot to say, while keeping you distracted with fun and monsters and breaking the fourth wall in a completely endearing way. It’s a good beginner wine, but unlike Franzia chillable red, it’s one you’ll likely never outgrow.

Locked Up Abroad is horrifying, but you just can’t look away. You need something similarly absorbing, but a little scary. This might be the time to try a dry Sherry. Fino for something light to have with snacks, Amontillado for something with a bit more body and heft. It will taste weird and wrong at first, but you’ll find yourself returning to the glass again and again. Plus, if you become a Sherry lover, there are (comparatively speaking) some good deals to be had, because no matter how hard sommeliers and boutique retailers try, it will probably never be a very popular category. 

For the BBC’s cop drama Luther, it’s got to be something brooding and intense, like a big, chewy Syrah. Wine grapes can generally be divided into two camps: oxidative and reductive. Oxidative grapes are sensitive little guys that start to smell stale and flabby if they are exposed to too much air while they’re being made into wine. Reductive grapes are burly and need lots of air and exercise, and tend to have these savory, sometimes downright dirty aromas that some people learn to love, but that can be overpowering. Syrah is one of those reductive grapes. Feral, dark and meaty, it’s got the body of other ‘big’ grapes like Malbec or Grenache, but not as much friendly fruit, especially when it’s grown in the Rhone Valley in France and not in Australia. Basically we’re describing Idris Elba’s role as police detective John Luther here. Could he be any foxier? Good god. There is just something about that roiling tension all bundled under tweed jackets. You might need a cold shower after a couple of hours with a Cote-Rotie and all that desk pounding.

If you’re in the mood for a brainy sci-fi series like Battlestar Galactica, you’ll need something as tense and nervy as the show, especially for nail biters like “33.” New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc is appropriately tart, taught, and citrusy, and it’s generally made in the most modern and squeaky clean of methods. It’s fermented in stainless steel tanks, bottled under screwcap almost 100% of the time, and most wineries even use special strains of yeast they’ve cultivated to bring out exactly the fruit aromas they want to accentuate in the finished wine. The future just might smell like artificial guava and grapefruit zest. So say we all.

The late-'90s USA series La Femme Nikita is awesome for so many reasons, from Roy Dupuis’ smolder to the delightfully insane outfits they put on Peta Wilson. But the best thing about this show was Alberta Watson’s portrayal of Madeline. Do not even talk to me about the CW’s version of this show. It is a monstrosity, and their Madeline 2.0 is all hauteur and pencil skirts and no substance. Madeline was ladylike, and at times kind, but had a badass core so ruthless it sometimes made you gasp. I mean, she shot her husband! Traditional Rioja, with its aromas of tobacco and fine leather and ability to age almost indefinitely, perfectly captures her stateliness. No one does old-school Rioja better than Lopez de Heredia, but there are other good producers who capture this style a little less expensively. Drinking one of these and watching Madeline strut across that scary white interrogation room will have you wondering if you can pull off shoulder pads. You can’t, but enjoy the fantasy.

Happy streaming, everyone!

Previously: What Goes With Your Breakup

Diane McMartin is a Certified Sommelier through the Court of Master Sommeliers and a graduate of a fancy-pants wine and beverage education program in St. Helena, CA. This required many flashcards and a lot of coffee. She lives in the Washington, DC area, where she works in retail teaching wine education classes, helping customers find the perfect wine, and wading through the seemingly endless ocean of bad Chardonnay out there. 



131 Comments / Post A Comment

royaljunk

QUICK WHAT'S THE RIGHT WINE FOR ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT since we'll all be needing that information soon.

Trinette Magoon

@royaljunk Any, as long as you let it sit first.

I'll personally be alternating between bourbon rocks and vodka martinis.

[sic]

@royaljunk UNLIMITED JUICE!

allofthewine

@Trinette Magoon You better be sure to finish that vodka quickly. It goes bad once it's opened.

lavender gooms

@Trinette Magoon Vodka Rocks.

And a piece of toast.

christonacracker

@royaljunk a martini and wink at your bottle of pain meds.

royaljunk

@christonacracker Perfect.

Megasus

@royaljunk Yeah, only hard liquor for AD. I don't think they ever drink wine on that show.

Verity

@[sic] This party is going to be off the hook.

mabellegueule

@Megasus Ahem you could drink water out of wine bottles and then make out with your cousin because you think you're drunk.

FlufferNutter

@Megasus What about Buster's "juice box"?? His consumption of boxed wine leads to my favorite AD moment where he belts out "Rose's Turn" from Gypsy!

sophia_h

@royaljunk hot ham water

The Littlest Elf

@royaljunk I don't know what I'm drinking, but, overcome by self-loathing, I will eat a whole thing of candy beans.

Sella Turcica

@royaljunk Banana Daiquiris, maybe with some vicodins swirled in.

beatrix

very nice cool@l

SarcasticFringehead

What if it's children's cartoons because we're not really in the mental space to deal with anything more than 12 minutes long and find the bright colors and cheerful music soothing?

Trinette Magoon

@SarcasticFringehead Fuzzy navels; the wine that comes in a juice box.

mangosara

@SarcasticFringehead this is (somewhat) relevant to my interests because I just discovered that Matilda is on Netflix.

sony_b

What goes with Veronica Mars (by season) or Firefly? I'm thinking VM S1 needs a tart fizzy cocktail - something with cranberry? Firefly seems like a beer or whisky show. But I don't like either of those options. :(

themegnapkin

@sony_b is Veronica Mars on Netflix??

sony_b

@themegnapkin Ooh. I don't know. I own a copy.

anachronistique

@sony_b Mudders' milk.

Blushingflwr

@themegnapkin I don't think it is at the moment, but it was streaming for a while. You also used to be able to stream it via the WB website (don't know if you still can)

sony_b

@anachronistique GOOD CALL. This might involve Baileys and Kahlua.

Kinloch

@sony_b Just don't drink a "Trip to the Dentist".

sony_b

@Kinloch LOL. I left that one wide open, didn't I?

Megasus

@sony_b I heard all of Veronica Mars is on American Netflix.

YouBad

@Megasus Sadly false!! Also not streaming on the WB anymore.

phlox lombardi

@sony_b Oh, man, I love Firefly. Sparkling from Gaillac made in the ancestral method. Harkens back to another era. Also, fizzy, just slightly sweet, and really fun to drink. Yes.

discombobulated

I've been marathoning Mad Men, but that's easy: the answer is ALL OF THE BOOZE.

par_parenthese

@discombobulated I go by character with Mad Men. Feeling like Roger? Martinis (ETA: or singing vodka? Either way). Several of them. Betty? A gimlet. Don? An old fashioned, or Canadian Club on the rocks, or neat, or sucked out of the upholstery of the couch. Peggy? Beer from a bottle. Rizzo? Weed.

cosmia

@par_parenthese This is exactly my method for Mad Men drinking. Sometimes when I drink Betty Gimlets I also eat whipped cream straight from the can. I love you, Betty.

par_parenthese

@cosmia Oh Betty, god love her.

cosmia

@par_parenthese Roger totally requires Russian vodka, too - guy loves his Stoli and his Smirnoff.

discombobulated

@par_parenthese @cosmia And when you run out of good stuff, fill a cooler with creme de menthe!

If you like Betty, you might want to read this awesome Sady Doyle piece about her: http://inthesetimes.com/article/14819/a_tale_of_two_betties/

phlox lombardi

@cosmia I haven't had a gimlet in forever. Now I need one!

cosmia

What if I just bought Django on blu ray and need a Tarantino marathon? What kind of wine is going to make me manic and hyper and is also the colour of fake blood splatter?

Amphora

@cosmia Zima?

Trinette Magoon

@cosmia You'll be wanting something rum or bourbon based- a Mint Julep or Rum Punch. Add red food coloring to bring the Tarantino part out.

Valley Girl

@cosmia Most def a "Polynesian Pearl Diver, do not spare the rum"...served in a coconut!

cosmia

@Valley Girl
"Prost!"
"Uhm, German!"

cosmia

@Trinette Magoon Totally Mint Juleps for Django, sake for Kill Bill 1, Jack Daniels (from the bottle) for Kill Bill 2, a milkshake with $5 worth of vodka in it for Pulp Fiction, and a margarita accompanied by a napkin scrawled with Robert Frost quotes for Death Proof.

Olivia2.0

@cosmia cocaine.

becky@twitter

@cosmia i second Olivia2.0 and Valley Girl... copious amounts of fine china, followed by a polynesian pearl diver.

FlufferNutter

@Amphora Zima mixed with Qream! QREAMA!

par_parenthese

THIS IS SO RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS

parallel-lines

For a recent viewing Magic Mike: a special cocktail I recently invented that is half boxed pinot grigio, half Fresca. I call it the "elastic waistband" because it gets you drunk so why try harder?

parallel-lines

@parallel-lines If you are out of Fresca feel free to substitute lemonade Crystal Lite - either diluted or straight up if you're nasty.

phlox lombardi

@parallel-lines I like Fresca, gin (Bluecoat, please), and a squeeze of some kind of fresh citrus, myself. Tangerine, grapefruit, lime, it all works.

Hellcat

@phlox lombardi That sounds kinda good--I like my gin. Have you tried it with pink grapefruit soda (I can't remember the name; it comes in a very aesthetically pleasing 4-pack)?

Hellcat

@Hellcat IZZE! That's it!

phlox lombardi

@Hellcat No, but I bet that would be good. Ooh, another brainstorm - Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray soda with Hendrick's. So much green!

Hellcat

@phlox lombardi The green sounds very summer and refreshing but, alas--I do not like celery!

Creature Cheeseman

@parallel-lines That "special cocktail" is my mom's drink of choice.

parallel-lines

@Creature Cheeseman But seriously, when are you going to quit chasing all those "dreams" and settle down with a nice accountant? Some times I don't even think you worry about your 401K!

cminor

@parallel-lines I do half boxed White Zin, half San Pellegrino Limonata or Simply Lemonade.

It's amazing and our little secret.

phlox lombardi

@cminor That actually sounds tasty, especially with the Limonata.

I hope my boss never sees this comment, I'll be fired immediately...

cminor

@phlox lombardi I'm with you there. I kind of want to fire myself from life for enjoying it. Especially with the knowledge that I once drank 32 oz of it from a Rubbermaid Sip Bottle. :/
I'm lazy/spill prone and have simple pleasures.

(I love "fancy" wine too! Port! So many amazing fortified wines!)

Amphora

I did Buffy last winter (don't ask me how I'd never seen it before) with a nice tannic red, like a vampire. But I did not get to gamble for kittens.

Gulfie

@Amphora I watch it with beer, even though beer bad.

Miss Kitty Fantastico

@Amphora I watched it so much as a middle-schooler that now I can only imagine Buffy paired with nachos and a giant Mountain Dew

darthvadersmom

any suggestions for a cringe-filled re-watching of the 5th & 6th seasons of the west wing?

highfivesforall

@darthvadersmom Ha, jinx!

phlox lombardi

@darthvadersmom For the West Wing, something cerebral and detailed, like a tart, pithy white from an obscure pocket of the Loire Valley. Cheverny or something.

darthvadersmom

@phlox lombardi i'm also thinking that i should go with a flight of something, so that i can yell "what's next" a lot.

highfivesforall

@darthvadersmom Daaaaamn you win, this is it.

highfivesforall

What about West Wing, which I've been mainlining every time my boyfriend is out of the house (he just gets mad about politics and can't enjoy the show)?

Also that drawing is amazing.

practical cat

@highfivesforall Grasshoppers.

If you insist on wine, old vine zinfandel, best sipped while making anagrams of the phrase, "My husband is an enormous jackass."

Lisa Frank

I've finally started watching Justified (it's not on Netflix, it's only on AmazonPrime) and I really wish I had a bottle of bourbon.

raised amongst catalogs

@Lisa Frank THE BEST.

raised amongst catalogs

@raised amongst catalogs And just for good measure:

MilesofMountains

@Lisa Frank I mainlined half the fourth season recently and after two episodes went out to go buy a bottle of Buffalo Trace. I guess for accuracy, it should have been something cheap and harsh, though.

Lisa Frank

@MilesofMountains I swear I saw a bottle of Four Roses in one of the episodes, so that's what I'm going with.

camanda

Black Books: anything, but bonus points if it's frozen, or was concocted in someone else's kitchen on a stormy night in an effort to fool the Pope.

frigwiggin

@camanda Extra bonus points if you pair it with the mushrooms growing in your hair.

camanda

@frigwiggin Or with the scrambled eggs in your shoe. Eaten with a comb, naturally. Make a shoe-melette with the mushrooms!

meetapossum

@camanda Pizza with wasps.

meetapossum

@camanda Life Cry.

cei-face

@meetapossum Polar bears bleeding on labels.

happy go lucky scamp

@camanda white wine that's like looking into the eye of a duck.
paired with delicious coasters

meetapossum

Hate-watching Hemlock Grove? Always re-watching SVU?

Trinette Magoon

@meetapossum Franzia?

Pound of Salt

@meetapossum Just finished hate-watching Hemlock Grove. Don't think I'd go as far as AV Club and give it an F, but hoo-wee is there some bad in that show

Knowsey

@meetapossum Thank you for describing my relationship with Hemlock Grove. I am maybe halfway through, and should just stop. Right?

meetapossum

@Knowsey Yes. You should stop now, before it's too late. Preferably, everyone would stop after episode 2, just so they could see the best werewolf transition scene ever.

@Pound of Salt I'm still amazed I watched the whole thing. It had such potential and then plummeted.

anotherkate

@meetapossum The eyes! I can't get over the eyes. It made a lot more sense once I found out the guy from Hostel is directing though.
To drink - wine coolers garnished with the tears of angsty teenagers?

Pound of Salt

@meetapossum I think Roman's American accent was a metaphor for the whole show. So bad from the beginning you wonder, "What the hell were they thinking?" Proceeds to get so SO bad, you realize at some point they just gave up trying.

meetapossum

@Pound of Salt It's like American Horror Story, but without the self-awareness or fun.

Valley Girl

@meetapossum I saw that transformation clip as a teaser for the show, so I really have no justification to watch. Eli Roth retweets EVERY positive comment on the show, and the fact that nobody has anything to praise besides that scene says a lot more about the show than I think he intends :/

Hellcat

@meetapossum I was just about to post about this Hemlock Grove! I went a bit balls-out crazy for it last week...and then sort of forgot it. My guess for drink accompaniment is "anything."

Same for SUV reruns, which, what the hell is my problem? How many damn times can I do it--who knows?

Miss Kitty Fantastico

@Hellcat Oh, SVU, how would I ever wake up multiple times a night thinking a rapist is breaking in if I didn't fall asleep watching you (SVU, not Hellcat!) every night?

frigwiggin

I've been watching Adventure Time and drinking acai juice, so that's pretty close, right?

sandwiches

What goes with a post-breakup, mid-finals, best friend is applying to grad schools out of state, Friends marathon?

Olivia2.0

@sandwiches I think, due to the break up and the best friend involvement you should try that chocolate flavored red wine that was on here a while ago.

anotherkate

@sandwiches xanax, but when finals are over you can switch to lazy martinis - a glass full of vodka with a splash of leftover olive juice from the months-old jar on your fridge door.

sandwiches

@Olivia2.0 chocolate. flavored. red. wine. yes.

sandwiches

@anotherkate actually just waiting on a referral to a psychiatrist now...

anotherkate

@sandwiches Hope it goes well! You sound like where I was my final semester of college, and getting on anti-depressants made a huge difference for me. As in I got to graduate on time instead of having to take an extra semester.

Amphora

@Olivia2.0 Chocovine! Pour it over some Chunky Monkey.

par_parenthese

@Amphora egads I want chunky monkey real real bad right now

phlox lombardi

@sandwiches Brachetto d'Aqui (fizzy, semi-sweet Italian red) with chocolate cake. Lots of chocolate cake. OR, depending on whether you're a sweet or salty comfort food person, cheddar and sour cream Ruffles dipped IN sour cream, washed down with cheap Prosecco. Not that I've ever done this. Purely theoretical.

Michaela D@twitter

@sandwiches Ah! So you did it. :c *internet hugs*
I am mixing lemonade indiscriminately into craft beers under the pretense I am developing a "recipe." (It's hot here.)
but that chocolate wine is goood.

sandwiches

@Michaela D@twitter Yeah. I can't tell if I've made the right decision yet; too sad/sad I made him sad/etc. I think I need to abstain from booze for a while, because it seems too appealing right now, and that way leads badness. But lemonade sounds good (I've been drinking all the Naked Orange Mango). <3

Miss Kitty Fantastico

@sandwiches Long Island Iced Tea. That is all. Now if you excuse me, I'm off trying to remember the last month of my senior year.

Olivia2.0

@sandwiches Try all the Nantucket Nectars. Their lemonade is soooooo gooooooooooooooooood! Feel better!!!

Emma K@twitter

I don't have a clever drink pairing (I drank sauvingnon blanc) but I really really recommend Top of the Lake, which just showed up on my streaming account. It's got a lot of the trappings of a cliched procedural drama (rape, murder, 'hard-boiled' female detective) with sort of a more intelligent and feminist viewpoint. Also lots of hot sex.

PatatasBravas

WHY DID NO ONE ALERT ME WHEN THIS POST WENT LIVE

I AM DOWNRIGHT PEEVED

I have been mainlining Malbec and 30 Rock, which I realize is not a traditionally perfect pairing (Liz drinks white wine, Jack drinks brown liquor) but it is flawless for my purposes.

PatatasBravas

I want this series to go on forever.

phlox lombardi

@PatatasBravas I have another one brewing (fermenting?!) as we speak! Well, as we type to each other on the Internet, but you know what I mean...

Inkling

Okay this picture is definitely a hairy butt with a paddle on it and idk why everyone is ignoring this.

Jinxie

The only thing I've been watching on Netflix lately is Poirot (And I've just started Season 6, which is the last season on Watch Now! What will I do when this season ends??). I've mostly been drinking red wine, ginger tea, or soda water w/bitters, but if I wanted to stay closer to the show I'd be drinking brandy, tisanes or creme de menthe. :(

Hellcat

How about with a Fast & the Furious marathon (which won't happen because the BF will mock me all to hell about it)? But it sounds good to me and I might do it. All we have is Gatorade (not mine) and vodka...which, now that I type it out, sounds about right for this sort of thing, actually.

Changeling

This got me really excited thinking that La Femme Nikita was finally on streaming BUT NO. :`(

phlox lombardi

@Changeling Glad I'm not the only one who's been waiting for that. Everything else I mentioned is, but they won't put that up - whyyy?!

lucy snowe

The graphic for this article reminds me of the diva cup thread.

Miss Kitty Fantastico

What should I drink while I'm watching Law & Order: SVU in my bed, worrying that every creak from my neighbor upstairs is really a rapist/murderer breaking into my apartment?

sceps yarx

@Madeline Shoes ugh, that's why I can't watch that show! I watched all of Inspector Lewis, though, because I figured as long as I wasn't an oxford don, I'd be safe.

pippi longstocking

I feel like I was misled to believe La Femme Nikita is currently streaming on Netflix.

ItsAYamSham

I created an account just to say how much I love that this post mentions La Femme Nikita. It is love. It is perfection. Nothing compares. Thank you, Hairpin.

ayo nicole

LOCKED UP ABROAD IS THE BEST. I hate that I've watched every episode already. :(

Olivia2.0

@ayo nicole Have you seen the Claire Danes movie called...something, Broken Kingdom? Something like that? If not, well, welcome to your weekend!

ayo nicole

@Olivia2.0 Ooh, thanks!

sceps yarx

@Olivia2.0 oh man, it's called Brokedown Palace!!! I watched that in theaters with my high school bestie while we were on our very first road trip. I also listened to the soundtrack about 200 times during high school. Excellent late 90's hippy-pop.

sceps yarx

@Olivia2.0 oh man, it's called Brokedown Palace!!! I watched that in theaters with my high school bestie while we were on our very first road trip. I also listened to the soundtrack about 200 times during high school. Excellent late 90's hippy-pop.

msl
msl

Lopez de Heredia! I really love how wine-nerdy these posts are. I also like the oxidative and reductive categories for wine grapes, which is new to me and makes a lot of sense. Does this difference matter after the grape has been made into wine as well? So wine made from reductive grapes like syrah generally need some exposure to air once they've been uncorked to develop a little, and ones made from oxidative grapes generally do not? This doesn't quite make sense to me, as I've had wines that I think are made from oxidative grapes (chardonnay? Reisling?) that open up a lot after a little bit of time in the glass.

phlox lombardi

@msl It sometimes matters in the finished wine, but not always. I know that's not a very helpful answer! I have the same experience with Riesling especially - the new wave of full-bodied, dry Rieslings from Germany (thanks, climate change!) definitely need time to open up.

cminor

This feels like it was written for my boyfriend, He loves Locked up Abroad, Battlestar Galactica, and his name is Nikita.

Which he has a feud with because he says that show made everyone think his name was a girls name growing up.

phlox lombardi

@cminor Your boyfriend has excellent taste in Netflix :)

ccmalls17

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robertwilliamsjr2e

In case you're in the state of mind for a brainy science fiction arrangement like Battlestar Galactica, you'll need something as strained and brazen as the show, particularly for nail biters like "33." New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc is properly tart, taught, and citrusy, and its by and large made in the most advanced and squeaky clean of strategies. It's aged in stainless steel tanks, packaged under screwcap just about 100% of the time, and most wineries even utilize exceptional strains of yeast they've developed to bring out precisely the foods grown from the ground smells they need to emphasize in the completed wine. The future could conceivably resemble simulated guava and grapefruit pizzazz. end of tenancy cleaning london

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