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Thursday, March 7, 2013

318

The Comment Section for Every Article Ever Written About Food Allergies

(Except this one, for the most part.)

1. I was born in 1832, and I never met anyone with a food allergy. Why do all these kids have food allergies now? Weak characters.

2. My great-great-grandfather was deathly allergic to peanuts and carried an EpiPen he fashioned himself out of a whalebone.

3. Only white people have allergies. No one in Africa has allergies.

4. Me and my children are all black and none of us can eat trace amounts of gluten without pooping blood for a week.

5. All kidding aside, though, there are totally way more allergies now.

6. It's the Purell. Kids need to play in the dirt! Kids need to eat dirt. Kids need to physically have dirt inserted into their mouths and sleep on a bed of live chickens under a canopy of dead pigs.

7. If these mothers had eaten or not eaten the foods while pregnant and then skipped the epidural and breastfed for 3.5 years, the kids would be fine.

8. I ate or didn't eat the foods while pregnant and requested that someone jab me with a fork during labor and breastfed my son while he was on his first date, and he still can't see an ad for Sea Monkeys without needing to be hospitalized for his shellfish allergy.

9. When someone tells me they're allergic to something, I like to slip a little in their food to see if they're faking it.

10. SHUT UP, #7. But, are they faking it?

11. About 70% of the time I get a smug sense of satisfaction, and 30% of the time I get to hear sirens, which is my fetish anyway.

12. No, really, though, there are way more allergies, right?

13. It's the vaccines. In my day, we were too busy fighting off polio to give a shit about eggs.

14. My cousin isn't really allergic to cilantro, she just pretends to be in restaurants because she thinks it tastes like soap.

15. She thinks it tastes like soap because she has a weird gene thing I read about. Also, your cousin is a bag of dicks.

16. No, but, seriously, why are there all these allergies now?

17. It's that our immune systems are no longer busily trying to keep our tapeworms in check and the devil finds work for idle hands.

18. The real problem is that we keep all these wussy kids with their food allergies alive instead of letting them die off like nature intended.

19. You know who else suggested things like that?

20. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day!

21. This thread has been closed for review by a moderator.

Previous installments in this series include The Comment Section for Every Article Written About PETA and The Comment Section for Every Article Ever Written About Artificial Sweeteners.



318 Comments / Post A Comment

Killer Kitties

"It's impossible to be allergic to MSG because it occurs naturally. It's in Parmesan Cheese." -a Jezebel commenter, once, to me, about my allergy.

TheLetterL

@Killer Kitties Ah, yes, the great herds of parmesan wheels, rolling themselves majestically across the plains. Then we hunted them for sport (and delicious MSG).

Ten Thousand Buckets

@Killer Kitties I think you're saying you have an issue with MSG, but on my first reading I thought you were allergic to Parmesan cheese. And I was like, just Parmesan, or all cheese?

Don
Don

@Killer Kitties ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO PARM OR NOT?!?!

anachronistique

@TheLetterL Rollin', rollin', rollin', keep those cheese wheels rollin'...

Megasus

@Killer Kitties Something tells me this person is not even aware that Parmesan cheese even comes in any other form than that Kraft stuff.

Vicky

@anachronistique they see cheese rollin, they gratin

mollpants

@Vicky No way. that's great.

Killer Kitties

@TheLetterL Truly majestic beasts but I find the wild caught wheels too tough, I prefer them farmed.

skippersarah

@Killer Kitties Because all of the 8 major food allergens don't occur naturally, right? When did shellfish become manufactured???

Killer Kitties

@Don NO I AM NOT THANK GOD

schrodingers_cat

@Killer Kitties ugh, people like that annoy me so much. MSG is usually a tolerance level thing. Yes, it's naturally occurring in that involves fermenting yeast or whey, but in much smaller levels than when it's used as an additive in processed foods.

Sella Turcica

@skippersarah Peanuts don't occur naturally?

skippersarah

@Martha Sowerby Clearly, no. They're the product of wizards.

Cawendaw

@skippersarah This also explains a lot about shellfish.

Valley Girl

@Killer Kitties HAROLD MCGEE FOOD SCIENTIST EXTRAORDINAIRE says this about MSG and it frustrates me so much. Et tu, Harold?

sovereignann@twitter

@Killer Kitties OK, so this is off topic but your comment reminded me of something Lizz Winstead said, "Until I was in my mid twenties I thought garlic was a salt."

Onymous

@Killer Kitties While argumentum ad parmeseanium is fallacious, there's still several double blind studies showing that MSG allergies are psychosomatic and none contradicting that.

Killer Kitties

@Onymous Thank you for totally missing the point of this entire post and every comment in it. Have a good shrink you want to recommend to me too? Via the internet?

siniichulok

@Killer Kitties While this is not necessarily an allergy in my case (I don't really know--it's never been tested), MSG gives me blinding headaches and shortness of breath. I really doubt it's psychosomatic. That shit is potent, yo.

Valley Girl

@siniichulok @Killer Kitties I had eaten MSG without concern my entire life until one day while sitting in a movie after eating Panda Express I exploded into hives and my throat closed up and I had to rush to urgent care for an emergency anti-histamine shot. I had no idea what was going on and thought I was going to die, and I've still never seen the end of The Cider House Rules. I don't care what Harold McGee or anybody else says, that weren't psychosomatic. I wanted to know what happened to Erykah Badu!

ponymalta

CILANTRO DOES TASTE LIKE SOAP IT'S REVOLTING.

Emby

@ponymalta I'm always so sad when I meet your kind. You'll never know that pop of herbal, earthy freshness that accompanies a street taco sprinkled with fresh cut cilantro.

ponymalta

@Emby Street tacos sans cilantro are still pretty delicious though, so it's cool.

Ten Thousand Buckets

@ponymalta I'm a a weird in-between place with cilantro. I definitely get the soap taste, but only if it's in large quantities. I have a tube of the pre-minced stuff in the freezer, and a little squirt in a stew or beans is very nice, but too much or fresh cilantro does make everything taste like a dishwasher.

ponymalta

@Ten Thousand Buckets I never get "nice" from cilantro but in small quantities it sort of disappears. Also fresh is worse than cooked into something for sure. But I do like the smell of cilantro-- I have a cilantro conditioner I like. It just tastes super soapy if it's sprinkled on stuff.

aphrabean

@Emby I want a taco so bad right now. More than one.

muralgirl

@ponymalta I can't really taste cilantro at all, and neither can my father. I just put a whole bunch right in my mouth and chew on it, and I can just barely tell there's some kind of plant in there. But my sister can detect the tiniest morsel of it and finds it disgusting. What a weird leaf.

Vicky

@ponymalta I like to buy a bunch of cilantro and huff it on the walk home from the grocery store, then enjoy it as a snack while watching tv.

...tell me more about this cilantro conditioner.

GingerJane

@ponymalta The secret is: use it fresh, use the stalks and the roots. The soapiness is in the leaves.

ponymalta

@Vicky It's this one, which they provide at the Ace Hotel, which is where I found it. I have like six bottles that I hoarded from my last stay.

roaringkitten

@ponymalta cilantro does not taste like soap, IT TASTES LIKE KEROSENE

H.E. Ladypants

@roaringkitten It tastes like dirty gym socks covered in soap!

Do any of the people who think cilantro tastes awful, also find celery offensive?

Ophelia

@ponymalta YES IT DOES AND IT IS. And actually, I looked up the gene thing once, and it's apparently true. Blecch.

SuperMargie

@ponymalta IT IS DELICIOUS AND TANGY ON BAJA TACOS!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO *ELSE* HATED CILANTRO ???!!?

sophia_h

@Emby Someone did a study testing "smell waves" on cilantro - there are two, and cilantro-lovers get the earthy, green one, and haters like me get the soapy metallic one.

But!! One time I had a cold and I was eating some Thai soup and I was like "what is this delicious and familiar taste I cannot place?" and it took me a while to realize it was CILANTRO. Apparently with my nose stuffed up, all I got was the yumminess you guys get. For one day, I ate the hell out of cilantro and enjoyed it thoroughly, before my cold cleared up and the soap came back.

fondue with cheddar

@H.E. Ladypants Hm...I dislike cilantro but I think I like celery, or at least I used to. I'm allergic to it so I haven't eaten it in more than 20 years. I like the smell, though.

BattyRabbit

@sophia_h What I get from this is that next time I have a cold I should eat tacos? With cilantro? To see what all the fuss is about? I also normally think it tastes like a cleaning agent.

oboe-d-amore

@H.E. Ladypants I love cilantro, but HATE celery. So, who knows?

Derevkova

@H.E. Ladypants Ooh, ooh. Me. I do! I am suspicious of celery because I do not understand its purpose.

Amphora

@Derevkova It's a conduit for peanut butter and raisins!

chetmaychua

@H.E. Ladypants Me. I do! I am suspicious of celery because I do not understand its purpose. Vietnam 1 day tours

jhonsons

always interesting :)@j

iceberg

#1 is truth though. No, I thank the GODS none of the Bergy Bits have any allergies.

Alli525

@iceberg I love the phrase Bergy Bits, please use it in Bake-At-Home Babies or I will dieeeeeee

Claire Zulkey@twitter

The reason why there are so many food allergies is because liberal parents are too afraid to spank their children! THANKS OBAMA.

laurel

22. alt.conspiracy.black.helicopters

zamboni

As usual with this series, NAILED IT.

Claire Zulkey@twitter

I wouldn't mind using some soap that smells like cilantro.

honey cowl

@Claire Zulkey@twitter GIRL! BUSINESS IDEA!!!!! I will invest $100, that is all I got.

frigwiggin

@Claire Zulkey@twitter I too will invest a small amount of money in this idea. Kickstarter?

Emby

@frigwiggin I'm in, but only if you call it Glory-ander.

Black crow

@Claire Zulkey@twitter
Not quite soap, but Chomper Body does a grapefruit and coriander lip balm which I love, though my girlfriend doesn't...
http://www.chomperbody.com/collections/frontpage/products/lips-101

stonefruit

NICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE. This whole series is gold.

OhMarie

Amazing, nailed it. I do always wonder if there are really more peanut allergies nowadays or if a kid with peanut allergies in 1780 just died and it was like, whoops, lost another one.

teaandcakeordeath

@OhMarie
Hmm ... this kid is reacting badly to something, let's feed him peanuts till he gets better. They solve everything!

iceberg

@teaandcakeordeath Peanuts are shaped like kidneys, so they heal kidneys! Also, they restore the balance in yer humors.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@iceberg Or he's a WITCH.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@OhMarie And seriously, I wonder this about cancer, too. Like, they didn't know people were dying of cancer, so they didn't record it, but now that we know what cancer is, it seems like more people have cancer? I don't know if it's true or not, I just wonder it sometimes.

Blushingflwr

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I think sometimes they called it cancer, sometimes they just called it "a long illness". They knew someone was sick, but they didn't know why. Also, I don't know about percentage wise, but certainly more people have cancer now, since there are more people, total.

MilesofMountains

@Blushingflwr Or they thought it was other things. Like how there were rumours Henry VIII's first wife was poisoned because they didn't have another explaination for parts of her heart turning black, when we now know that means she had cancer.

This is my new username

@Blushingflwr Also people live longer in general so there is more time for them to get cancer.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@MilesofMountains I am so fascinated by this little tidbit that I might just write a song about it.

de Pizan

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose They've known about cancer for a few thousand years..but generally they were only certain if there was a palpable or visible tumor. With the advent of body dissections starting around the 15th century, they knew it could spread throughout the body. For truly horrifying stories of early cancer treatments, the reports of the mastectomies of Nabby Adams and Fanny Burney in the early 1800s, without anesthesia, are enough to make one whimper in the corner.

Apocalypstick

@OhMarie I'd love to see some graphs of child mortality and family size linked to the advents of reliable contraception and vaccinations. I bet it would be really interesting to see the social expectations and necessity of having extra kids if you expect few of them will die of something as-yet-unknown-by-science.

area@twitter

I used to work with a doctor who was doing oral and sublingual immunotherapy studies for kids with severe food allergy! He was getting very hopeful results, but it was nerve-racking to do- you basically have to have someone hovering over the participant with multiple doses of epinephrine and have a crash cart immediately outside the room in case they start reacting. And the thing on everyone's mind was ensuring the dose was precisely correct- the story I heard was that about a decade ago, someone was doing SLIT/OIT studies at an excellent, well-run institution, and a mistake was made in the dosing. The participant died from anaphylaxis, and that's even with all the care and safeguards that go into a good trial (emergency kits, epi and life support right. there., in the hospital, ICU down the hall). It's terrifying.

The other thing I found interesting was the fact that this doctor pointed out that food allergy is a severe burden, and it really promotes obsessive behavior, because parents are desperately trying to keep their kids healthy and the only way to do that is very carefully control their environment. He had to work very hard with patients and parents to determine what level of control was possible and optimal, and it was really an ongoing struggle for everyone. He had severe peanut allergy himself, which I think was helpful in relating to his patients and teasing out legitimate concerns (toddlers smearing peanut butter over the table in daycare) from more fear-based assumptions (someone my teen never interacts with in school can't bring in PBJs for lunch).

area@twitter

@area@twitter Lest I seem to cover clinicians in glory here: I should note that on the flip side, I had to request in a meeting today (as mildly as I could) that we not call our new weight-loss and nutritional intervention "the fat study". Even in jest. (Especially in jest, I think.)

chevyvan

@area@twitter I was in one of these studies except it was for dust mite allergies. They got really excited when they did the scratch test on my arm and it swelled up. The stakes were relatively low, but they did induce an asthma attack at one point and had to stop what they were doing and give me a rescue inhaler. fun times!

btw, I got the low dose and it didn't work. only the high-dose worked.

area@twitter

@chevyvan My old job was studying cockroach allergy! Boy, when we got someone who was positive, it was like we'd hit the lottery.

cupcakecore@twitter

@area@twitter I know a teenage girl who has a peanut allergy that came on when she was in her tweens and I remember when she was losing a lot of weight after she had a reaction because she was scared of peanuts being in her food and not knowing. So sad.

Pseudo Pseudonym

@area@twitter I'm sitting in my allergists office right now after getting my shots. You have to wait around for 30 minutes after allergy shots so the nurses can make sure you're not having a major reaction. I always assumed that it was a because the allergy shots really had killed people previously. Nice to know that assumption was right?!?

thebestjasmine

@area@twitter Yeah, one of my closest friends is allergic to all nuts and legumes (so all beans, soy, etc.). I'm always impressed that she's managed to be a person who loves food, even though a little bit of nut flour could kill her. She can't ever have any Asian food, and has to interrogate waiters, it makes her feel so anxious, poor thing.

enic

@area@twitter Ughhhh I work in clinical research and SO MUCH IGNORANCE. Really only Hairpinners should be health care practitioners, ok great.

area@twitter

@enic Fightin' the good fight together! /salute

par_parenthese

This is PERFECT.

teaandcakeordeath

@par_parenthese
IT IS PERFECT AND I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER TO ADD BUT IT IS!

Dancercise

More of this series forever, please.

synchronized
synchronized

@Dancercise Future installments:

- The Comment Section for Every Article Written About Childhood Obesity ("YOU TOOK YOUR KID TO WENDY'S ONCE?! Every ounce of ridicule she's ever been subject to is your fault, you monster.")
- The Comment Section for Every Article Written About Student Debt ("In my day, working at the Alamo Freeze could put you through school! Why can't kids today work at the Alamo Freeze? Spoiled brats.")
- The Comment Section for Every Article Written About College Admissions ("My daughter went to Brown, SOOOO...")

dj pomegranate

@synchronized - The Comment Section for Every Article Written About Student Debt: "I don't understand what is so difficult about this concept. If you take out a loan, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for paying it back. If you can't pay it back, you shouldn't have taken out the loan to begin with. It's not that hard."

polka dots vs stripes

@Dancercise Thumbs up for the Alamo Freeze.

Miss Maszkerádi

@synchronized The comment section for every article on "Adultolescents": "Well I'm 22 years old and have been financially independent since I was 16, so HAH." "I'm 21, married, have a full time job and a mortgage!" "I had a full time job when I was 17, now I'm 22 and have two perfect children and a wonderful husband and a big house in the suburbs!!!!!!" (Me reading the comments: "Fetch me an asp.")

synchronized
synchronized

@Countess Maritza Oh yeah, all of the above. Also: myriad (derogatory) references to HBO's "Girls," and then somehow myriad (derogatory) references to Lena Dunham's body. Everything rolls right down that hill eventually.

apples and oranges

@synchronized Not to mention Matt Saracen paid rent for him and his grandma by working at the Alamo Freeze!

Carrie W.

@dj pomegranate I was all thrilled when I realized we had whittled my husband's student loan down to from $50,000 t0 less than $20,000. Then I realized that the $30,000 had just become credit card debt instead. Just a little pick me up for your day!

frigwiggin

I am grateful every day that I have no food allergies. Or, at least, none that I know of. Someone I know once suggested that gluten intolerance might cause thyroid issues which might in turn cause depression, so in theory I could be feeding my depression with pasta which causes more depression, but that's just too depressing to think about and I want some pasta.

anachronistique

@frigwiggin In the past year and a half two of my friends developed dairy allergies and a third was diagnosed as gluten intolerant, and I spend a little time every day going "PLEASE NOT ME, PLEASE NOT ME."

Roaring Girl

@frigwiggin I love you. And I love pasta. Pasta is not allowed to cause depression; I forbid it.

area@twitter

@frigwiggin That seems possible but tenuous. As in, any benefit to your thyroid and thus your depression gained by cutting out pasta would most likely be negated by the stress of maintaining a gluten-free diet (particularly since you like gluten). At least that's how I'd read it. ::crams croissant into mouth::

Sam Maguire

@frigwiggin My friend is on this crazy doctor-prescribed diet right now to try and figure out what she's intollerant/allergic to and it just .. it's horrific. No gluten, lactose, sugar, alcohol, I don't know how she's doing it, and that's only for 8 weeks! I have endless respect for people who have to follow these rules every day while simultaneously not killing everyone they see sitting in the window of Subway or whatever.

Blushingflwr

@Sam Maguire I think for some people, the fact that they know that eating X will make them feel indescribably ill helps balance it out.

HeyThatsMyBike

@frigwiggin That last sentence would be a great Mitch Hedberg joke.

causedbycomma

@frigwiggin This is relevant to the other conversation on the meat thread. I think even if depression was caused by pasta/bread products in general, I would be so sad without them that my depression would be just as bad.

frigwiggin

@HeyThatsMyBike Now I'm sitting here at my desk trying to say "pasta" in a Mitch Hedberg voice. Pahh-stah.

amitygardens@twitter

@Blushingflwr I have a sensitivity to milk, but I love ice cream. The ensuing pain and discomfort is worth it.

amitygardens@twitter

@causedbycomma @frigwiggin Maybe we should hang out and be depressed together? It would certainly brighten my day.

thebestjasmine

@amitygardens@twitter I'm lactose intolerant, but this only came on as an adult. At first the ensuing discomfort was worth it, but now it's gotten worse, so basically the only dairy I have in raw form is cheese, and even then it's mostly not worth it. Which is very sad.

Also, I gave up bread for Lent this year, and let me tell you, the lack of sandwiches is definitely causing a deep depression.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@thebestjasmine @amitygardens Also lactose intolerant here (but maybe becoming more tolerant?) and I love Lactaid so much. It got me through a trip to Italy.

amitygardens@twitter

@thebestjasmine That makes me sad, and worried for the future. HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT BREAD??!??

thebestjasmine

@amitygardens@twitter IT'S REALLY HARD TRUST ME. Especially since I'm miserably sick right now, and all I want is a delicious sandwich. Or toast.

sophia_h

@amitygardens@twitter When you have problems with food, I find the resulting relief from not having issues outweighs the pleasure in eating them. I'm dealing with acid reflux now, among other things, and when I finally looked up the triggers if was everything I'd already cut out just because they made me sick -- onions, tomatoes, citrus, dairy, and spicy foods. I love all those things (piiiizza, I pine for you), but since I've felt 90% normal after getting rid of them, it's a no-brainer.

mustelid

@frigwiggin Yeah, I read somewhere or another that gluten could potentially exacerbate an autoimmune disorder I have (vitiligo) and I was like, "Hm it's probably bullshit, but what would I have to lose by trying it for 2-3 months just to see if it worked."

And then I realized... what if it did? I'd rather just not know.

(Caveat: vitiligo is cosmetic only, it doesn't make me feel shitty or anything. I also don't have a severe case, the only people who ever see it are my boyfriend and my doctor. Totally love pasta more than I care about that, but I could see it being different if it was worse.)

HeyThatsMyBike

@mustelid Oooh question about your vitiligo if you're cool with answering. My dad has a pretty severe case (although he's been weirdly lucky that it is just now spreading to his face at age 62. It's always a little heartbreaking to see people be startled when the go to shake his extremely speckled hand, though). Though I haven't seen any major signs of it appearing in me (besides a tiny dot the size of a freckle here and there), but I'm told it often presents later on. When did yours first appear? My dad's showed up in his late 20s, and I'm always looking for more data points! Thanks and keep pasta-ing! :)

Cliterary Device

@HeyThatsMyBike & @mustelid

I know you didn't ask me, but I thought I'd share my experience. I've got vitiligo, of the severe kind. Appeared at age 19 in small concealed areas and then blew up to about 97% of my body by the time I was 25. Man, talk about turning from black to white, I could have used a pep talk from Michael Jackson right about then.

Anyway, so just for shits and giggles, I radically overhauled my diet for other vanity reasons, because I'm extreme that way. And wouldn't you know it, my color started coming back after I had finally gotten used to being pale. But I couldn't pinpoint the trigger to my color returning since I'd just about nixed everything that wasn't the color green and didn't sprout roots.

It may not be worth much to anybody else, but these days I don't consume dairy at all (lactose intolerant and growing worse every year), and my animal product intake is mostly in the form of fish and co-op eggs from semi-domesticated foraging chickens. Grains I eat minimally, no sandwiches, but I like rice a lot. I can't quite seem to ignore my sweet tooth, so my diet fails there. But as of right now (I'm 29 now), I'd say I'm about 85-90% repigmented.

It seems like my dermatologist feels kinda pressed about it since my self progress made her bit of a liar. So I quit giving her money to make off-hand comments about how my skin is disordered. I get that from the public for free anyhow.

Derevkova

@thebestjasmine Lactose intolerance in adulthood is common because you've lost the childhood enzymes or whatever that made you capable of digesting it in the first place.

HeyThatsMyBike

@Cliterary Device I literally exclaimed "WHOA!" in reading your story. It is amazing that you've seen such stark improvement. Seriously!Go You! And thanks for sharing.

amitygardens@twitter

@sophia_h My milk intolerance is more of a mild annoyance, and can be incredibly awkward if I'm in public, but yours sounds horrific. My husband gets terrible migraines so he can't eat cheese and I am always so sad I can't share things with him, but I'm less likely to eat it as well.

ponymalta

Also speaking of allergies did everyone read about this Ontario mom who wants to cut down oak trees because she thought the acorns caused unnecessary anxiety for her children with nut allergies? And her children are teenagers, and allergy specialists are like "People with nut allergies aren't allergic to acorns." and normal people are like, "High school kids with nut allergies are unlikely to pick up acorns off the ground and eat them." So amazing.

frigwiggin

@ponymalta

are you even kidding me

martinipie

@ponymalta lolwut

ponymalta

@frigwiggin I feel bad for her because she got pretty slammed in the media, but it is the most intense helicopter parenting ever-- her main argument was it was "stressful" for kids with nut allergies to see acorns around their school.

Cawendaw

@ponymalta What did she think when she saw a Snickers bar ad? Or had she already cut down all the satellite dishes and cable connections in her area?

red pen

@ponymalta that is INCREDIBLE. i love to hate it.

RubeksCube

@Cawendaw Snickers don't have nuts, they have peanuts, which are legumes. Sorry, I always feel like such a little snit making that distinction, but it's an important one, I think.

Cawendaw

@RubeksCube I guess I don't usually make a distinction since I'm allergic to both. Also in this because of the allergy specialists who said that nut allergy sufferers aren't allergic to acorns.

RubeksCube

@Cawendaw Isn't that weird? My husband is allergic to nuts, but not peanuts, and yet I know several people like you who are allergic to both...and somehow acorns are still exempt? Allergies just suck is my general take away from all of it.

Vera Knoop

@ponymalta
TRIGGER WARNING: ACORNS

Mingus_Thurber

@RubeksCube The reason acorns are exempt, I think, is that they have such high levels of tannic acid that they're impossible to eat without major processing (says the woman whose mother was a forager for fun). I can't *imagine* anybody ingesting enough acorns to cause an allergic reaction without barfing them right back up. They're toxic.

RubeksCube

@Mingus_Thurber Wow! I never knew that about acorns.

Apocalypstick

@Mingus_Thurber So you can't actually make acorn flour or acorn coffee? Aww.

Marquise de Morville

@Apocalypstick I think you can, but it will taste awful.

Mingus_Thurber

@Apocalypstick You can, but you have to (if I remember right) shell the acorns, soak them in water for a day or so, pound them, soak them *again* until the water no longer tastes bitter or looks brown, roast the pounded mush to get all the water out, and then use it for whatever.

All in all, not a great use of your time if you have other alternatives.

Alli525

@Mingus_Thurber Another proof that squirrels are evil minions of Satan.

Lu2
Lu2

@Mingus_Thurber Acorn jelly is a side dish in Korean cuisine. It's good! Partly/mostly because of the seasonings, but still, worth it, I guess. You can buy the acorn powder already prepared and just boil it up and let it set. Fun fact!

Faintly Macabre

@Mingus_Thurber Yes! I learned this in the My Side of the Mountain series when the kid makes acorn pancakes.

Bitterblue

@Mingus_Thurber Yup, that sounds about right. I remember when my Korean grandmother came to live with us for a year, she collected a shit ton of acorns from the oak trees in our backyard (igniting a bitter feud with the squirrels) and did that entire process, starting from whole acorns, to make acorn jelly. She was 76 years old. I think she just *could not stand* to see all those acorns go to waste. Raw as fuck, man.

NeverOddOrEven

Hate me all you want, but some fuckers out there are totally faking onion allergies in restaurants. They're in everything. Don't tell me you're terribly allergic and can't have them anywhere near your burger and then eat ranch dressing by the spoonful.

iceberg

@NeverOddOrEven Ranch dressing has onions in it?

Megasus

@iceberg I think it has onion powder or dried onion in it

area@twitter

@NeverOddOrEven Well, there's food allergy (produces systemic reactions) and food intolerance (usually limited to the gut and intestines? I think). That's why there's a difference between people with milk allergy who need EpiPens and people with milk intolerance who need Lactaid. I think there's a tendency to lump everything under the heading of "allergy" though, which is confusing and I think a little harmful.
But yeah, if you don't like a food, please just say you don't like it! That's OK! It'll let the chef know if they just need to leave the cheese off your salad, or if they need to prepare your meal entirely separately!

Emby

@iceberg Chives, yup. And most probably have some kind of onion powder, I'd bet.

Onion is in everything. Which is why it's awesome. I would high-five every onion in the universe and tell them each to their allium-faces that they are delicious and superb.

Emby

@area@twitter Good point. I have a weird intolerance thing with eggs.

Doesn't really stop me though; they're just too good.

Mingus_Thurber

@iceberg Yep. And Thousand Island dressing has tomatoes in it. I have had plenty of patients who claim to be allergic to tomatoes, yet eat Big Macs (with Thousand Island dressing) several times a day.

Allergies, especially food allergies, can be such a huge deal in terms of medical treatment and diagnosis. Shellfish allergy? We have to premedicate you with steroids and Benadryl for any scan involving iodinated contrast. Allergy to papaya? We have to assume you've got a cross-sensitivity with latex...which can be a problem since most IV injectibles are packaged in vials with latex tops.

Don't even get me STARTED on patients who come into the hospital with a list of "allergies" that's three single-spaced, typed pages long (how I wish I were exaggerating). That list often includes all painkillers except the *really* good ones, polyester, and, I am not kidding, *oxygen*. That sort of thing makes for good reading but also makes care really difficult. "No, ma'am, I swear, there's no oxygen in this room."

Bittersweet

@area@twitter Yeah, this is my issue with some parents in my school district and their kids with peanut allergies. To me, an allergy is when you have a severe, potentially life-threatening reaction to something, not when you get a stomachache or a minor rash.

WhenSheWasGood

@Mingus_Thurber My sister and I are allergic to corn, and people don't seem to realize how much stuff that's in. We know people with the same allergy who've had problems with IVs and things in hospitals because the nurses wouldn't believe them that dextrose is usually corn-based, and everything just about has corn in it. Thankfully my sister and I don't have an anaphylaxis reaction to it, but if we were in bad enough shape to be in the hospital, we probably wouldn't want that piled on top of it.

NeverOddOrEven

@Bittersweet
Aren't most peanut, or just nut allergies in general, usually pretty damn serious, though?

Barry Grant

@NeverOddOrEven

But but but ... raw onions make my lips burn, and caramelized onions don't and are way delicious. So I guess I'm in the intolerant camp. Or something.

polka dots vs stripes

@WhenSheWasGood It's a long story why I researched this, but I found out that contact solution has corn in it. CONTACT SOLUTION.

NeverOddOrEven

@Barry Grant
As long as you're not throwing a shit-fit about it, fine! Eat whatever works for you. It's the people who totally exaggerate the issue that ruin it for everyone else.
My husband is a chef and every damn week he comes home with a story of some customer who makes the server's life a living hell by insisting they must do this, that, or the other thing or OH MY GOD THEY WILL DIE, and then he sends them back to say, "Okay, that's fine. But then you can't eat this, and this, or this..." and inevitably they sheepishly admit that all of those other things are just fine, thank you. Just please leave off ______

area@twitter

@NeverOddOrEven Yeah, peanut tends to be particularly severe, for reasons nobody's really teased out yet. (It is severe enough that one of the studies my associates in food allergy did involved splicing peanut protein into E. coli and administering it, um, rectally. They hoped it would reduce the possibility of a severe reaction that way, you see.)

Bittersweet

@NeverOddOrEven Some of them are, but I know several kids whose peanut allergies are more in the "stomachache/rash" category. Not that I'm not sympathetic to their sensitivity, but it's not a life or death matter for them.

schrodingers_cat

@WhenSheWasGood I found out last year that in the hospital, already hooked up to an IV, is possibly the best place to have a severe allergic reaction (doctor didn't read my chart, gave me medication I am severely allergic to)

causedbycomma

@NeverOddOrEven Sometimes I say I am allergic to something when I really don't like it, because it makes people more likely to not put it in my food. Like, if I am at a crappy restaurant and I don't trust people not to bring me a sandwich with mayo on it, which I find horrifying.

Blushingflwr

@NeverOddOrEven As opposed to my friend, who can't eat black pepper, and will basically tell the server that and then eat whatever they tell her is on the menu that she can eat.

harebell

@Bittersweet
A peanut allergy is not predictable or consistent, though. You might just have a rash the first time, and then the second time you might have anaphylactic shock. It's an allergy that can get worse with more exposures.

(In fact, that is how allergies generally work -- including seasonal pollen ones like mine).

cf. the boy in the article who died on a trip to Mexico, because his parents thought he only/would always just get rashes in response to accidentally eating peanuts, so he didn't take along an Epipen, and he ended up dying -- poor parents sure until the very end that he was going to be ok because this had never happened to him before.

SlightlyOverboard

@area@twitter Re: the whole lumping allergies and intolerances together, explaining my MBL-deficiency as "sugar allergy" is way easier than "an auto-immune disorder that means my body really can't process sugar". Allergy people get, auto-immune, not so much. However, I love my customers that order soy lattes with whipped cream on top. With all my heart.

Bittersweet

@harebell Ooh, I didn't know that! Thanks for the info. I'll be more understanding about my friends' kids' allergies now.

Ophelia

@Bittersweet I was just about to chime in, but @harebell already answered for me... I'm not allergic to peanuts, but I'm allergic to penicillin. The first time I had it, I got a rash. The last time I had it, I got a fever of 105 and hives. So, no more penicillin for me.

lucy snowe

@Emby My husband has this (egg intolerance.) They make him feel gross and spend hours in the bathroom. But they don't give him hives or make him die.

For which I'm grateful.

Still, he has some terrible stories from Boy Scout camp where he was shamed into eating the scrambled eggs because they thought he was just being difficult.

I hate the Boy Scouts.

NeverOddOrEven

@causedbycomma
But what's worse here: You scraping some mayo off a bun or, at worst, having to send something back; or making every single person with a legitimate allergy look like an asshole?
And also? We know when you're lying.

Brunhilde

@NeverOddOrEven Word. Trust me, we're trying to make your sandwich as requested, but we're human and when making a zillion sandwiches in a row we sometimes screw up. I'll gladly re-make it for you.

The worst allergy lying bitchface I ever got insisted that she was really allergic to vinegar so she could absolutely not!!! have the italian dressing that usually came on this sandwich. And then asked for a fucking side of mustard.

(I had horrible, real, hive-giving, throat closing allergies as a child and I really wanted her to choke and die on that mustard. That's what an allergy is, bitch.)

RNL
RNL

@NeverOddOrEven Hate ME all you want, but raw red onion is disgusting in my mouth not only when I eat it but also 16 hours from when I eat it and it gives me the shits but other onion doesn't and holy crap if I bite that thing with raw red onion I'll be so sad for so long please take me seriously.

WhenSheWasGood

@schrodingers_cat I guess it would be good to be some place where you are surrounded by doctors, but I hope you aren't saying it was what they put in the IV that caused the problem. 'Cause I'm already pretty paranoid.

WhenSheWasGood

@polka dots vs stripes IT'S IN EVERYTHING! I'm glad I don't have a contact allergy to it because: toilet paper, pads & tampons, that sort of thing. It's bad enough we have to order special toothpaste. And also lipstick because I compulsively lick my lips and basically eat my lipstick.

And thanks, now I'm wondering if I do have a slight contact allergy and this is why my contacts make me want to claw my eyes out.

Megasus

@NeverOddOrEven Are you on hormonal birth control? Because fun fact, that is a side effect (happened to me, only kind I can wear now are the silicon hydrogel ones)

schrodingers_cat

@WhenSheWasGood No, the IV didn't have anything weird in it (just made it easier to give me epinephrine when they realized I was having a reaction). What happened was that I thought my reaction to vicodin was just that it made me puke, and I told them that, so my chart said not to give me vicodin, but anesthesia and my stomach are not friends, so when I came out of surgery I was on anti-nausea meds. So when the doctor handed me a painkiller to take (without telling me it was vicodin) I didn't puke it up but instead had an anaphylaxis reaction.

fondue with cheddar

@NeverOddOrEven I'm allergic to most raw fruits, veggies, and tree nuts, but if those foods are thoroughly cooked or processed I have no problem. So I'm one of those people who you would call bullshit on because I say I'm allergic to almonds (my worst allergy) but can eat something made with almond extract, for instance. But it's totally legit!

NeverOddOrEven

@fondue with cheddar
Fair enough! My overall point is just that from a liability standpoint restaurants have to take that sort of thing very seriously, so fakers are doing everyone a disservice. And it happens, as evidenced above.
Mayo, for example. Not only can they already smell it when you're lying, but any respectable joint is going to follow it up - is it the eggs? The lemon juice? Vinegar? Because there's going to be a whole slew of other things to avoid.
Just be straight with people about what you don't like vs what you can't have. And be forgiving if they fuck up by putting a pickle on your plate when you asked them not to. Because they put 1200 pickles on 1200 plates a day.

fondue with cheddar

@NeverOddOrEven I get that. The problem is that some people don't take it seriously unless you say you're allergic. If you ask whether a dish contains x because you don't like it, the server will answer what they think, but if you say you're allergic they will check with the chef/manager/whoever and make sure. I don't want to have to send a dish back because it contains the thing I said I didn't want (this has happened to me). I feel bad lying so it's something I hardly ever do in a restaurant. In fact, I think I only did it once because I didn't trust the server's confidence in their answer.

Lis
Lis

@NeverOddOrEven Except for the whole "sometimes allergies are only to raw ingredients" things. For me, I can eat onions as long as they are at least a little cooked. If they are not cooked? Within about half an hour of eating one bite of a sandwich that has raw onions on it (to use a super specific example), I will be in the bathroom for the next eight hours or so. While I may not be technically traditionally allergic to jalapenos, they WILL cause a Crohn's flare (which means at least a week of being in pain, diarrhea all the time, etc., until I can get flare-up meds). So I may not get sick immediately if I eat some, but boy will it make me never come back to your restaurant if I tell the server I cannot have raw onions or jalapenos of any kind and end up in misery.

skippersarah

Any other soy allergy sufferers out there? Days without major allergic reaction: 0. Unfortunately.

monstrosity

@skippersarah I have a soy allergy, but not a severe one. It usually means upset stomach and awful poo. Sometimes it means swollen throat and itchy mouth. Sometimes it means lethargy and heaviness in my arms and legs. And I can eat soy sauce just fine, but not tofu, or TVP, or tempeh, or seitan, which doesn't even have to have soy in it.

That and my nut allergy (peanuts and other nuts) made being a vegetarian ultimately impossible for me, thought I stuck it out for twelve years.

temporal_paradox

@skippersarah Soy allergy here. I don't usually have severe allergic reactions, but I also have Multiple Sclerosis and have found that when I am exposed to soy my MS is significantly more active, so I try to be really careful.

skippersarah

@monstrosity I think the worst part about the soy allergy is the possibility of a delayed reaction. Initially I thought I was having panic attacks at night...nope, soy. And I wish I could do soy sauce/soy lecithin/soybean oil, but those give me reactions too...and it turns out that my mom's years of "stomach issues" were soy-related, and my sister definitely has the full allergy as well. I get the stomach stuff the next day, but minutes to hours after the initial exposure my throat might start to close up or my lungs just...shut down?

@temporal_paradox I didn't realize how badly my undiagnosed soy allergy affected my overall health, like for years. So I can empathize with you there! I've been avoiding soy for almost a year now, and it's the longest I've gone without a cold or a canker sore for years. And my "adult acne" turned out to be a reaction to chronic soy exposure too. Glad that's finalllllly cleared up!

temporal_paradox

@monstrosity I've read that it's the protein that causes the allergic reaction, so soy products with less protein, or fermented soy products like soy sauce, have less of an allergenic reaction.

Miss Maszkerádi

@skippersarah Soy is pretty much the one thing I'm at all intolerant to. It's far from a severe allergy for me, it basically just makes me really...how do I put this delicately.....farty. In a sort of painful way. Mystifying...but at least provides a decent excuse for when I'm trying to defend my omnivorous self from gentle souls trying to convert me to vegetarianism.

monstrosity

@temporal_paradox Hmmm. Interesting, this supports my mother's theory that I am unable to process protein.

temporal_paradox

@skippersarah When I found out I was allergic it was like suddenly everything started making sense. I had self diagnosed myself as having a milk allergy and then a gluten intolerance because I read in a book that a lot of people with MS do, and was replacing dairy and wheat with soy milk and soy flour, and frustrated that not only was my MS getting worse, I felt sicker, I had stomach aches every day.

My mom also has a soy allergy as well, so I wonder if there is a genetic factor?

skippersarah

@temporal_paradox According to my doctor, there is definitely a genetic factor. She told me to warn my extended family. Turns out that my little cousin (on my mom's side) had told her mom that her tummy hurts whenever she drinks soy milk, so they're keeping her off of soy as much as possible now.

skippersarah

@Countess Maritza That's how mine started too!

hahahaha, ja.

@skippersarah: Yep. I'm mildly lactose intolerant so I switched from regular lattes to soy lattes, quickly found out I'm allergic to soy, and threw my hands up in despair. I then ignored what my body was trying to tell me and ate soy beans for dinner for 9 months straight (because they're tasty and I am a lazy bastard), which meant 9 months of stomach cramps and weird poops. I finally stopped a few months ago.

flanhoodles

@skippersarah Me! Well, mine is an intolerance and has only stomach related troubles. I am a vegetarian, so that makes it double suck. I did recently discover coconut aminos, which has been an amazing replacement for soy sauce.

hahahaha, ja.

@flanhoodles: I initially read that as "coconut amigos", which sounds just swell.

temporal_paradox

@flanhoodles Coconut aminos? I must research this. I have sometimes successfully but mostly unsuccessfully been substituting soy sauce with fish sauce.

skippersarah

@flanhoodles Weird, I just read about coconut aminos the other day and was hoping it tastes good. I've been concocting my own substitute soy sauce, but it's still missing something. Must get myself to Whole Foods and purchase it.

In other coconut news, I made red velvet cake last month and substituted coconut oil for the shortening and it was probably the most delicious red velvet cake I've ever made.

skippersarah

@hahahaha, ja. Yeah, I finally put it together when I gave up dairy to try to get rid of my acne and switched to soy milk. That's when I rapidly went from just intestinal troubles to full-on anaphylaxis.

temporal_paradox

@skippersarah My mom has a severe peanut allergy and once in recovery at the hospital after a Dairy Queen Blizzard cross contamination incident in the early 90s they casually informed her that was also allergic to soy and said that most people that are allergic to peanuts are also sensitive to soy. So, when they did the scratch test on me and the doctor said "wow, you definitely have a soy allergy" my first thought was "oh no, does this mean I can't have peanut butter?" I should have, but didn't, have any concept of how much more difficult avoiding soy would be than avoiding peanuts, because my mom's peanut allergy was the big dramatic allergy, and she didn't and still doesn't even try to deal with her soy allergy. I know she would feel better if she even tried to limit her soy intake. Whenever I visit my family there's always drama about food because I feel like it's one of the few things I can control with my MS, and they treat it like it's a pretend allergy because I don't need an epi pen... except for that one time my eyelids swelled shut.

Betsy Murgatroyd

@flanhoodles AGREED! Coconut aminos are a very tasty replacement. Coconut Secret is an amazing company.

Tragically Ludicrous

@skippersarah I'm fine with tofu but soy milk irritates my lips and makes me want to scratch out my throat. Unpleasant.

skippersarah

@temporal_paradox That's ridiculous that they treat it like it's a pretend allergy. That'd be like force-feeding you nothing but bacon fat and wondering why you felt sick all the time.
My grandma tried to tell me one time that I could eat some bread because "it only has a LITTLE soy in it, that can't hurt!" I know she just wanted me to eat some delicious bread, but I had to keep explaining that no, I have an allergy, and even if she can't see a physical reaction right away, some serious junk has been set in motion.

highfivesforall

I am only at number 6 and I am dying, I am going to have to ration these out over the rest of the work day.

Sella Turcica

@highfivesforall That picture of a shrimp has me reaching for my picture of an epi-pen and making weird throat noises.

PatatasBravas

@Martha Sowerby When I read Kids need to physically have dirt inserted into their mouths and sleep on a bed of live chickens under a canopy of dead pigs I started crying with laughter and every time I come back I laugh more.

Nicole this is flawless, more more more!

Miss Maszkerádi

@PatatasBravas I always get a little bit flailingly earnest at things like this - because, well, my hippie mom *did* breastfeed me for a long time, and I *did* literally play in backyard mud holes as a wee thing, and I'm not allergic to anything and rarely get sick. But........oh for heaven's sake Maritza stop being such a threadjacker

highfivesforall

@Martha Sowerby Don't worry, it's not a shrimp, it's a shramp.

PatatasBravas

@Countess Maritza RIGHT BUT DID YOU HAVE A BED OF CHICKENS

I IMAGINE IT IS LIKE A WATER BED, SPLOOSHING ABOUT IN WAVES OF BOBBING HEADS, BUT MUCH LOUDER

I AM CAPSING BECAUSE I AM STILL LAUGHING HOURS LATER AT THE IMAGE

PatatasBravas

This image, too!

breastfed my son while he was on his first date, and he still can't see an ad for Sea Monkeys without needing to be hospitalized for his shellfish allergy

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

fondue with cheddar

@Countess Maritza I played in the dirt and put all kinds of things in my mouth as a kid, and I had absolutely ZERO allergies. Until I was 13 and started being allergic to melons, and as the years went by I started becoming allergic to more and more things and it's gotten totally out of hand!

Sella Turcica

@highfivesforall I just went to your profile. It was too small to read on my screen. Shramp. I can eat those. :) I bet their kosher, too!

Lis
Lis

@Countess Maritza But I ate SO MUCH DIRT as a kid and now I am allergic to ALL THE THINGS. And Crohn's Disease. (We like to joke that my immune system got SO STRONG from eating all that dirt that now it just gets bored and starts to run drills. "Okay, boys, what do we do if we get invaded by foreign eyeballs? LET'S PRACTICE ON THE ONES WE HAVE RIGHT HERE!")

katiemcgillicuddy

I picture that bitch from the high-fructose corn syrup commercial who basically called the one mom a bad parent for giving the kids juice with hfcs writing #7.

HeyThatsMyBike

@katiemcgillicuddy "You know what they say about that stuff." "What, that it's made from corn?"
Those commercials made me lololol. As did all of the parodies that followed them!

katiemcgillicuddy

@HeyThatsMyBike The parodies were great, but god, I still want to punch that bitch in the mouth every time I see the original. "Guess you don't care what the kids eat". Like, bitch are you serious?

par_parenthese

@katiemcgillicuddy I hated that commercial so much, just as a feminist. Like, haha it's funny because women are bitches! And women who don't want their kids mainlining Hawaiian Punch are REALLY bitches! Annnnnd mommy wars.

katiemcgillicuddy

@par_parenthese Well, I don't know if you know this, but once a woman has a child all she is is A Mommy, so the wars are all she has to keep being a real bitch! Jesus.

ETA: Also, I'm sure her husband is just, so dumb, and can't get ANYTHING right, so she withholds sex, which she hates anyway, so whatever.

HeyThatsMyBike

@katiemcgillicuddy Yeah, the whole campaign was so incredibly tone deaf that it ended up striking me as funny. Although I can't say I'm surprised that the corn lobby has no idea what a child's birthday party is like.
That said, reading some of the comments on the c-section thread yesterday from ladies who had been belittled for having one on the mommyblogs (which still is baffling to me), maybe the corn lobby has a better understanding of a child's birthday party than I do?

katiemcgillicuddy

@HeyThatsMyBike Jesus, I didn't see that thread til now, wtf is wrong with people?!? Those mommyblogs are terrifying and awful and need to be set on fire immediately. Guess what, everyone, I was delivered via C-section and I was on formula from day 1 and I am a PERFECT HUMAN SPECIMEN SO SHUT UP, JERKS.

Miss Maszkerádi

@katiemcgillicuddy I was also C-section because otherwise I would have tried to come out arse-first. I had this goofy theory when I was about 10 that it made me smarter than the other kids I knew, because my brain had never been squished during birth. (I was kind of a little shit.)

katiemcgillicuddy

@Countess Maritza No no, let's just go with your theory, I like it.

Kristen

Did anyone else read the Purell article in the New Yorker next week? I was so sure that it was going to be about how unnecessary damaging all this constant disinfecting is to our immune systems that the direction the article actually went in hit me like a Sixth Sense-level twist.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Kristen
Absolutely! It was pretty great, wasn't it?

Kristen

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Yes! It made such a thoughtful and compelling case without tipping over into the aggressive/defensive crouches that accompany the subject that Nicole parodies so well in this piece.

PatatasBravas

@Kristen Links?

Miss Maszkerádi

@PatatasBravas it seems to be behind the paywall. Curses! :(

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

OK, actual question about shellfish allergies: is it weird that I can eat these delicious creatures when cooked, but shelling raw shrimp makes my hands swell up like the soundtrack to Jurassic Park when they fly in to the island?

katiemcgillicuddy

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Until recently, I could only eat apples that were cooked or my gums would swell up and itch. Now I only have to peel them and cut them into small slices, because I am a toddler.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@katiemcgillicuddy You're an incredibly well-spoken toddler, I must say.

Cawendaw

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I'm guessing that some chemical changes occur when they get heated up to cooking temperature, and/or something gets washed off/diluted during preparation.
I don't have an answer for your allergy to the Jurassic Park soundtrack, though. Are you sure it's a soundtrack allergy, not a soundtrack intolerance? Those are medically different, and it's important not to confuse them.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Cawendaw JohnWilliamsitis

H.E. Ladypants

@Cawendaw No, no. She was comparing the swelling to the way the music swells in Jurassic Park.

You can tell I was 11 in 1993 because I immediately heard the music my head.

katiemcgillicuddy

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose That's because my mother never feeds me high-fructose corn syrup and she never would have dreeeaaamed of giving me formula, obviously.

Sella Turcica

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I'm the same way with walnuts. I can only eat them baked in things or toasted or my gums hurt. It's like the oils bother my mouth but don't bother my innards. I feel like I drool like a velociraptor if the walnuts aren't toasted.

par_parenthese

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I also have a raging case of JohnWilliamsitis like ALWAYS because that fucker is a PLAGIARIST and OH GOOD ONE JOHN BUT I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN IT WAS CALLED ALL THE SHIT THOSE OTHER NATIONALIST COMPOSERS WROTE

OK, I feel better now.

ETA: my dad totally has that shrimp thing. And I have a friend who is like that with the peels of some fruit, but she can eat the fruit? Which is cray.

Ophelia

@Martha Sowerby This is kiwi fruit for me. It makes my mouth/lips tingle and burn, but I don't get any wider reaction, and my stomach is fine with it.

The Lady of Shalott

@katiemcgillicuddy OH MY GOD YES. That happens to me!!! What IS that? If I eat cooked apples I am fine, but if I eat a raw apple my mouth is all itchy and uncomfortable. What the fuck? This never used to happen!!!

Verity

@Martha Sowerby Oral Allergy Syndrome! It just affects the mouth and is caused by uncooked fruits, vegetables and nuts.

katiemcgillicuddy

@The Lady of Shalott It didn't start for me til I was maybe 22? I read once that this particular allergy commonly started in young adults, and something about it being common in people with pollen allergies maybe? I don't remember. It SUCKED because my friends actually made fun of how many green apples I would eat in a day (it was like 4 or 5 a day for a few years) so it killed me when the allergy started. I'm 28 now, and while it still kind of feels a tiny bit hard to swallow, as long as I peel the apples and eat small bites, I'm cool. When I discovered this like, a month ago, it was basically the greatest day of my life.

angermonkey

@Cawendaw Ding ding ding! Whatever it is in shellfish that @right on top of that rose is allergic to (probably a protein) is probably denatured during cooking to the point that your over-active immune system doesn't recognize it and pull the OMG WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE alarm.

Protip, though: if you're allergic to shellfish, don't eat insects. Every time the cicadas come out in Indiana we get yahoos who want to eat the little nymphs and EVERY TIME somebody local goes into anaphylaxis. If you're allergic to one arthropod, you're probably allergic to all of them.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@angermonkey Noted. It wasn't on my to-do list to begin with, but now I have a valid excuse. To avoid eating bugs.

monstrosity

@Verity I have that with tomatoes! Only raw tomatoes, I can eat sauces and ketchup and cooked tomatoes and sundried tomatoes.

area@twitter

@Cawendaw "'Nickleback' Allergies: Understanding A Growing Epidemic"

Cawendaw

@area@twitter It's almost as bad as the Poison allergy back in the '80s.

rai
rai

@The Lady of Shalott @katiemcgillicuddy
Try microwaving your apples or what have you for 30 seconds, anytime before you eat 'em-- apparently it denatures the pollen/protein/? that causes the itchy.

fondue with cheddar

@Verity @rai OMG THERE'S A NAME FOR IT?! I have this problem with all raw fruits, veggies, and nuts except for citrus. YOU GUYS MADE MY DAY.

fondue with cheddar

@Verity I like the oral allergy syndrome page on Wikipedia because it contains the phrase "prick to prick testing" and I am 12.

katiemcgillicuddy

@fondue with cheddar I am giggling at this, so I guess, see you at recess.

fondue with cheddar

@katiemcgillicuddy Cool, I'll meet you by the dangerously hot monkey bars with the peeling paint.

Sella Turcica

@Ophelia OMG! I get the kiwi thing too! and this makes perfect sense! Eggplant!
@fondue with cheddar I am so excited this is a real thing and I am not going to die from this!
Well, probably not going to die from this.

fondue with cheddar

@Martha Sowerby Yeah, I was excited to read that, "Seldom it can result in anaphylaxis."

HereKitty

@katiemcgillicuddy Do you have hayfever? Search "oral allergy syndrome" and be amazed.

katiemcgillicuddy

@HereKitty Yeah, I said somewhere upthread I read a few years back it had to do with pollen allergies or something, I couldn't remember. I just know it sucked and I'm glad it's kind of stopped happening!

fondue with cheddar

@katiemcgillicuddy Being allergic to 99% of fresh fruits sucks so hard, so the fact that this allergy has stopped for you gives me hope! Hooray!

P.S. prick to prick testing teehee

katiemcgillicuddy

@fondue with cheddar Have you tried peeling them? That seems to make a difference for me. I still know I'd have trouble if I bit right into it, so I slice it up. My gums seem fine, although it's a tiny bit hard to swallow, and I really do mean a tiiiny bit, it's definitely no big thing. So try that, see if it works. I missed my apples so much, I imagine this is what it's like for people who reconnect with old flames from 40 years ago and then get married late in life. It's basically the same thing.

fondue with cheddar

@katiemcgillicuddy Haha, that sounds about right. I honestly have fantasies about eating a peach that border on erotic.

Unfortunately, peeling doesn't work for me. I haven't tried it with apples because I was never a fan of them when I was a kid with no allergies, but I've tried it with other fruits. I don't remember which ones specifically except for kiwi because you don't eat the skins. Or maybe some people do? I'm skeeving myself out just thinking about it.

katiemcgillicuddy

@fondue with cheddar Ah, I still can't do peaches, but they aren't quite as rough on my gums as they used to be, so I'm hoping to get them back in good time. Peeling didn't work for me at first, I tried it a few times over the years and then I tried one more time this year, totally on a whim, and bam, so don't give up hope!

ohmy

not food, but allergy related: read an article recently about a woman who had developed an allergy to her cats and had to give them up. The majority of comments were all about you can use homeopathy to get over it or just get lots of shots and you can totally keep the cats. Fuck you, crazy cat people, for thinking that a cat allergy is no big deal. Also, for thinking that meds/shots cure-all. Sometimes they have awful side effects. I know you love your cats, but they make me feel like hell and stop me from breathing. No, this isn't going to be cured by herbs.

harebell

@ohmy
yes. environmental allergies are awful. Mine are to pollen, dust mites, and mold, and medication can help a bit but it's really all about improving the environment for any actual relief.

Also an exciting feature how allergies get even worse if you are under stress of any kind. In case you didn't already realize you were stressed... a little extra commentary from your eyes and nasal passages to the rest of you.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@ohmy Plus, cats are awful anyway (even if they give me the opportunity to slip into a blissful Benedryl sleep after I hang out with them).

ETA: @harebell: I have pollen/grass/tree allergies, and it helps me to start using local honey in my tea about this time of year, before the pollens start a-flowin'. It doesn't cure them, mind you, but curbs some of the effects.

ohmy

@harebell Me too to all of those (plus the most sensitive skin)! My mom lived in an apartment for 5 years that had a terrible mold problem in the basement. It was unbearable to visit her in winter, when the heat kicked up all the particles. The skin around my eyes would get flaky and disgusting Also, places with wall to wall carpet are the bane of my existence.

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose honey is the only homeopathic allergy thing that I believe in! I still have to take zyrtec/alovert/claritin but honey makes it even better. There are times in summer when no amount of allergy meds will save me, but the honey at least soothes things.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@ohmy Honey at least makes everything taste better. And yes, better living through chemicals. I believe in it. Usually.

monstrosity

@ohmy Wait, does this work if one is allergic to honey?

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@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Whaaaaaaaaat? Tell me more? I seem to have develop some kind pollen allergy (I kind of suspect the culprits are grass pollen and snow mold) How does this honey business work??

HeyThatsMyBike

@This is my new username Supposedly eating local honey can help a bit with pollen allergies in the place where you live. It makes sense logically, because it's like getting tiny doses of the pollen (or some weird bee digested form of it, I guess? Just call me the Bee Scientist over here) specific to your area to help you build some kind of tolerance or something. I have no idea if science supports this in any way, but if it gives me an excuse to buy honey from sweet ladies at neighborhood festivals and then eat it, I am strongly in favor.

harebell

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose
Oh, I'm glad to hear that the honey thing is working for you. I've superstitiously been buying only honey from my local area, all year, even though it is expensive (and the summers that I've lived in New York, I bought New York honey, even though god knows what is in it!). But I could never be sure if it was making a difference or not, or if it was some other variable. So this is encouraging to hear.

@ohmy There is a store on-line for people with allergies that sells special cleaning products, and I have felt SO much better in certain bathrooms after spraying a lot of their mold-killing tile cleaner about. I'm glad your mom has moved on from that place, but if it ever comes up again, that stuff is fantastic.

harebell

@harebell
p.s. I looked it up: Vital Oxide Mold Remover and Disinfectant. !! so good.

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@HeyThatsMyBike Hmmm welll, I think that is a reasonable thing for me try. The worst that happens is that I eat some delicious honey. Now to track down some local honey.

Faintly Macabre

@ohmy The one upside of getting mold all around my bed in my tiny apartment (bad insulation and ventilation) is that I discovered that I am no longer allergic to mold! However, I am allergic to all the pollen things and some substance in mouldering metro stations.

noReally

Ok, this is from my grouchy old pediatrician:

People bring their children in. They say, "Cassius turned red the other day, and then later he had diarrhea. Is that anything?" And the doctor says, "Could be a food allergy, but…" and the parents says, "Oh my god, can I get a prescription for an epi pen?" and the doctor sighs and says whatever, sure. And then they're surprised that they're expensive, and that they have to be replaced every year, and after a while, they drop it. And some day kid starts running his own life, and eats whatever and either dies or doesn't. And those ones are the ones making up the difference between how many allergy kids you see now and how many you used to see.

Cawendaw

@noReally Wait, do none of them do the scratch test, where they expose your skin to a tiny amount of the allergen (and other common allergens) and see if you have a reaction? It seems like you would know more or less for sure that way.

Ophelia

@Cawendaw Yeah, I definitely had an extensive scratch test as a kid, and it was pretty darn accurate re: childhood food allergies (which I have since mostly grown out of).

noReally

@Cawendaw Hell, I don't know. I took him to mean that the reason the number of children whose parents are wigging out about allergies is growing is that the parents take a better safe than sorry kind of attitude, and the doctors indulge them.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@noReally My allergist told my mom, who works as the front desk lady at an elementary school, that any kid who has a systemic reaction (like, one that starts in one place and affects other parts of the body, exampling eating something that upsets the tum AND causes a rash on the skin) needs to be immediately EpiPenned and taken to the ER. I think the "we're not fucking around with this" attitude is becoming more pervasive because allergies aren't always understood?

Vera Knoop

"I ate or didn't eat the foods while pregnant and requested that someone jab me with a fork during labor and breastfed my son while he was on his first date, and he still can't see an ad for Sea Monkeys without needing to be hospitalized for his shellfish allergy."

And with that, it was time to declare (redeclare?) my undying love for Nicole.

Auntie Maim@twitter

Oh, man. I have multiple food allergies myself, and just yesterday made the decision to give up dairy to see whether my two-month-old's mucus-poop 'n' eczema extravaganza is a dairy allergy. So the NYT Mag article made me weep. Especially the part about the kid who loathes cashews. I tried to explain to my husband that I was crying because I knew how the kid feels, and am sad about the prospect of our kid feeling the same way, but what came out was a very teary:

"I'm horrified at the prospect of eating nuts."

Ba-dum-bum.

MmeLibrarian

When I was a baby and my parents were starting me on solid food, I would throw up any and all baby food containing meat. Poultry was okay, but not beef or pork. My mother took me to the doctor, who shrugged and said, "so don't feed her meat. She'll never have a heart attack." I am therefore an American woman in her 30s who has never had a hamburger. I like busting that fun fact out at parties. People give me the big eyes.

noodge

so, the article was top notch, A+.

Then I came back and read all the comments that transpired since the article went up, and I just have to say that I love you all. Best way to start my Friday.

Carry on.

LJ6000

Two hundred comments and no one has mentioned the episode of Freaks and Geeks where Alan puts peanuts in Bill's sandwich?! One of my favorite scenes is where Alan rides up on his bike at the end of the episode but can't bring himself to admit he wants to go to the sci-fi convention with them. Also, "I don't like sci-fi...I love love love it!"

Scandyhoovian

I love how Godwin's Law applies even to posts about food allergies. Most overused poor comparison ever!

I don't have any food allergies (that I know of) but I will fully admit to being one of those people that claims an allergy of something I just plain don't like for simplicity's sake, because I dislike bananas, coconut, and peanut butter and if you tell people you just don't like it they will more often than not interrogate you about what's "wrong with you" (apparently those are "but everyone loves those!" foods) but if you tell them you're allergic they just accept it and move on.

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@Scandyhoovian I do have food allergies and I still do this with stuff I'm not allergic to. I'm a supertaster who is very grossed out by certain textures, and sometimes it's so much easier to just say I'm allergic. But whether it's a real allergy, a feigned allergy, or just something I don't like, I DREAD having The Conversation with people about food. I hate having to explain myself to people. I understand that they usually ask because they care, and because they want to cook something I will eat when I come to their house, but it's so exhausting! Sometimes I'd rather just be hungry. Just let me not eat this thing and leave me alone!

packedsuitcase

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the "If you would just eat paleo for a month it would change your whole life and you'd never have an allergy or disease ever again" people. Or am I the only one whose newsfeed is constantly taken up by overly enthusiastic Crossfitters?

HeyThatsMyBike

@packedsuitcase Extra confusing, because from what I can gather, Paleo is just an even more restrictive form of Atkins, and I don't remember Atkins curing anyone from all diseases. But what do I know? I eat carbs!

packedsuitcase

@HeyThatsMyBike Gluten is clearly poisoning your mind.

ms. alex

I don't have any food allergies (because it would be cruel, WOULDN'T IT, NATURE, because I'm already allergic to a great many things). BUT- because I have a lot of allergies, my mom blames herself for not trying harder to breastfeed me when I was an infant, and I feel bad that she blames herself. I just tell her that we probably couldn't avoid all these allergies anyway, I have so many it must be fate, and let's move on from the blaming and just buy me a lifetime supply of inhalers and Zyrtec, thanks.

Lu2
Lu2

@ms. alex Your mama should not blame herself. :) My sister and I were both bottle babies. She is allergic to everything environmental (not technically everything) and has some food sensitivities. I am not, except for hay fever. Sometimes there's no rhyme or reason!

NeverOddOrEven

These are intentionally really meta, aren't they? You just want to sit back and watch us simultaneously denounce the shitty behavior you parody while devolving into doing it ourselves.

Derevkova

I'm that weird person who is allergic to the whole cow. No, not just a dairy allergy. Not lactose intolerance. Allergic to the whole cow.

kitten_witawip

The reason why there are so many food allergies now is that all of you people with food allergies would have died in infancy or at least when your allergies first appeared up to about 50 years or so ago depending on the location of your birth, socioeconomic, education level of you parents, etc.

Amphora

I'm allergic to Benadryl. Analyze THAT.

does it need saying

Just found out that my daughter is allergic to nuts (pea/tree) and has been her whole life. She has been eating nut related things her whole life. Turns out she was feeling poorly every time, just thought everyone felt that way. Two numb mouth and one slight breathing issue later... Lalala cue bad mom feelings and thoughts of just exactly how much PB I ate while pregnant. Stupid Mom Guilt.

lizaboots

Can we get some kind of grant and pay Nicole Cliffe to write preemptive comment sections as footnotes to every article published on the internet? I think it would take the wind out of people's sails in exactly the right way.

Probably needs to be hella $ though. Internet's a big place, so we'll have to clone her first.

Tulletilsynet

@lizaboots
This is like that time Edith took over the writing of all letters to all women's magazines. They had to clone the shit out of that woman.

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DanAppleG

Monsanto feeds me modified food, how am I not supposed to develop any alergies?

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My cousin isn't really allergic to cilantro, she just pretends to be in restaurants because she thinks it tastes like soap. Elizabeth

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I ate or didn't eat the foods while pregnant and requested that someone jab me with a fork during labor and breastfed my son while he was on his first date, and he still can't see an ad for Sea Monkeys without needing to be hospitalized for his shellfish allergy Fen EA

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My gums seem fine, although it's a tiny bit hard to swallow, and I really do mean a tiiiny bit, it's definitely no big thing. So try that, see if it works. I missed my apples so much, I imagine this is what it's like for people who reconnect with old flames from 40 years ago and then get married late in life. It's basically the same thing.
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with a fork during labor and breastfed my son while he was on his first date, and he still can't see an ad for Sea Monkeys without needing to be hospitalized for his shellfish allergy.

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sigma

I definitely get the soap taste, but only if it's in large quantities. I have a tube of the pre-minced stuff in the freezer, and a little squirt in a stew or beans is very nice, but too much or fresh cilantro does make everything taste like a dishwasher.
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sigma

I have a tube of the pre-minced stuff in the freezer, and a little squirt in a stew or beans is very nice, but too much or fresh cilantro does make everything taste like a dishwasher.
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sigma

I can't really taste cilantro at all, and neither can my father. I just put a whole bunch right in my mouth and chew on it, and I can just barely tell there's some kind of plant in there. But my sister can detect the tiniest morsel of it and finds it disgusting.
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