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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

161

Who is That Masked Woman? (You.)

A real winner wrote into The Guardian to explain a dilemma:

I am a 23-year-old man and am obsessed with celebrity culture. Whenever I have sex with my girlfriend, I insist that she must wear a mask of one of the female celebrities who really turn me on, such as Billie Piper or Kimberley Walsh. My girlfriend isn't too impressed with this, but goes along with it anyway. However, when she wants me to have sex with her when she is not wearing a mask, I don't think I can, because I can only get turned on by the celebrities.

Now, the first sentence of the official response began "fetishistic sexuality is essentially based on a neurological pattern..." instead of "oh, what? Jeez. Urgh," so obviously he should get his advice from The Guardian and not randomly horrified onlookers, but a few questions do come to mind:

1. Where does one get a decent Billie Piper mask?
2. Is it, like "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" Billie Piper, or "Doctor Who" Billie Piper?
3. Exactly how good in bed would this guy have to be for you to wear a celebrity mask?
4. Would it have to be so good that you wouldn't even form short-term memories?
5. What if your partner had a mask fetish, so he could only have sex with you while wearing A mask, but it could be a mask made of your own face?
6. Did you know who Kimberley Walsh was without Googling?
7. If you decided to "go along with it anyway," would you tell your friends for the support, or would you take it to the grave?
8. Do you perform oral sex while wearing the mask, or if he asks, do you just stare at him quietly until he retracts the request?
9. Something something "Eyes Wide Shut."

161 Comments / Post A Comment

supernintendochalmers

Oh, British celebrities.

Anninyn

Re: masks. You may be interested to know that every single local cash converters and similarly-named stores have cardboard celebrity masks hanging in their windows. You can buy them for about 2.99.

I never knew why until this day. They're for this guy.

Pyxis

@Anninyn Wow. I was imagining plastic masks, like the kind they make to look like presidents faces. This makes a lot more sense now.

Onymous

> Where does one get a decent Billie Piper mask?

Seriously, absolutely the first question that jumped to mind. Masks in the not-custom-built-hollywood-practical-effects category in general look absolutely nothing like what ever they claim on the box.

maybe partying will help

@Onymous

I wonder if his girlfriend could procure, say, a Christopher Eccleston mask.

Onymous

@maybe partying will help
Eccleston as The Doctor is totally one of my "I'm straight expect" exceptions.

maybe partying will help

@Onymous

I can't decide if I would rather have her make him wear it, or have her wear it and be all, Surprise I thought you were into Doctor Who should I get a Captain Jack mask everyone loves Captain Jack

Lily Rowan

@maybe partying will help I would definitely make my partner wear a Laurence Fox mask.

Dirty Hands

@maybe partying will help
And then somebody needs to film this for me.

par_parenthese

@maybe partying will help *actually laughing out loud*

"Hey Sailor, going my way?"

Emby

iceberg

@Emby yeah that's pretty much the face I'm making.

Emby

@iceberg Furthermore, couldn't he just pretend that it's the celebrity who is wearing a mask of his girlfriend?

Ham Snadwich

@Emby - I guess that answers #8.

Allie J

@Emby

You're an excellent problem solver.

lovelettersinhell

Question 2. is the first thing I thought, number 9 would actually be kinda hot.

Onymous

@lovelettersinhell #9, yeah. I don't have an elborate-masquerade-orgy fetish, but I could probably get one on short notice if the need arose. Also it would tie in nicely with my newly discovered sitting-down-provocatively kink.

RubeksCube

Look, I'm all for people getting their kicks, and I happily support exploring new ways to get said kicks, but I think the line would be drawn at "he doesn't ever want to have sex *without* the mask...". Maybe I'm too insecure for that (?), but I would feel somewhat inadequate if that happened to me.

Onymous

Oh christ #8, like does she slide the mask up to her forehead so maskie piper can stare him in the eyes unflinchingly the entire time?

Valley Girl

@Onymous "maskie piper" I'm choking with laughter

thatgirl

I feel like if you have this specific a fetish, you probably need to go on the internet and find the other people with a similar or complementary fetish. Otherwise, it's just going to be disappointing.

Ellie

@thatgirl This is kind of hard to do. A lot of people who are open to sharing fetishes or hang out in online fetish communities are huge freaks who can't type or who talk about the thing in gross or unappealing ways. Normal people with specific fetishes tend to be kind of ashamed/weird about them so they're hard to find. I think as a rule you are better off finding someone you really love and trying to convince him or her to do it. Which it sounds like this guy did, but he needs to get over NEEDING it to have sex. Which I feel like should be technically possible.

JessicaLovejoy

@Ellie huge freaks who can't type

Sooooo...they just mash the keys with their flippers?

Ellie

@JessicaLovejoy I've been scolded for this on here before, but I pretty much won't consider fucking anyone who doesn't use full words as opposed to text speak in dating ads? I don't think it's too high a standard.

leonstj

@Ellie - I agree, to the extent that I'm now only interested in people who can advertise their datability in the form of a sonnet.

Petrarchan only, really. Because fuck the Earl of Surrey, that's why.

Ellie

@leon s Upon reflection, I would without reservation reply to any ad consisting of limericks. I have a thing for limericks.

Brad Paisley

@Ellie
heyryyer baberaetty, carn IO buty oyiu a drtyinmk??

Miss Maszkerádi

@Ellie I agree - I guess it's judgemental and bitchy of me but excessive text-speak just screams immaturity to me, and...not interested. It's..uh...not as if wanting a potential romantic partner to be patient enough to compose grammatical sentences and type out full words is on par with expecting them to compose sonnets....

PistolPackinMama

@Ellie If I had been feeling the urge to seek out compatible fetishists by writing an online ad in complete sentences, despite being somewhat reticent because of worry about stigma and people with opinions on the issue... I sure have been cured of the desire now.

Blushingflwr

@Ellie Except that if it is a true fetish, then he needs it for release. That's the definition of a sexual fetish (as opposed to a kink or a preference).

Brad Paisley

WAaalores witoh interseprekicis fewissh IISPO huamn oweamen. mUStr enjoiyj tsujk-playt andsb lionyg awklejs pon thne beahc.

The Lady of Shalott

@online dating walrus Online Dating Walrus, I think I love you. I am already engaged but I feel like my fiance would look the other way if I managed to hook up with an Online Dating Walrus. Care for a long walk/stumble/crawl/whatever it is walruses do along the beach?

Apocalypstick

@Ellie If (impersonal, hypothetical) you refuse to use basic spelling and grammar while using a text-based form of communication, and are not under time constraints or really unreasonable character limits, I can only conclude that you're not that interested in communicating. It's the equivalent of showing up to a date without showering or brushing your hair -it may be an authentic view of the way you live your life, but in some contexts it's appropriate to make an effort to present yourself well, as a mark of respect and an indication that you would like this person to think positively of you.

That's a very long-winded way of saying I think it's a completely reasonable standard :p

leonstj

@Apocalypstick - Yeah, I totally agree. I don't think it's bitchy or judgmental at all.

Then again, as a dude who online dates and uses full sentences / doesn't ignore red squiggly lines under words (I mean, SERIOUSLY, what must text input boxes LOOK LIKE for these people? All the squiggles would give me so much agita I'd die)I am also advocating ladies start declaring this to be a minimum standard because it works out in my favor!

Brad Paisley

@leon s
redsx swsgileley lindswe meawns hujsmean laidwse wwielwl lvoes yeoru pasoewt!!@

stuffisthings

@Ellie Yes but can you have sex WITHOUT hearing a limerick first?

leonstj

@Ellie
In Brooklyn a man lived call'd Leon,
Quite rakish and cooler than freon.
He cooks well and has jokes
(though unfort'nately smokes)
And dates with him ya'll ought to be on!

iceberg

@leon s *wistful sigh*

highfivesforall

@online dating walrus Okay I think you are my favorite - I just did the research and you were originally TROLL, then Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and now the online dating walrus, and you have stayed wholly in character each time. I'm impressed, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Genghis Khat

I'm pretty GGG, so I feel like the first time this request came up I would take it as a lark and do it for funsies and tell everyone I know. Then I would come to regret it as I realized it would be every time.

Then I would have a negative self esteem spiral about how I'm so uniquely hideous that I have to wear the equivalent of a bag over my face. Then I would sob to my friends over wine and tell them how he's a REALLY GREAT GUY BUT and they would, not gently at this point, be like "WTF is wrong with you that you think the problem is YOU?"

Then I would wait 9 months to dump him.

MaxBraverman

At least it's not a paper bag?

fabel

This can't---I mean what. The mask has to be pretty high-quality for it this to even work, right? Also, can't he just jerk off to porn with poorly photoshopped celebrity faces on the actors instead?

fondue with cheddar

@fabel I don't know...they make blow-up sex dolls that are supposed to look like real porn stars that totally do not.

Elsajeni

#5 -- Can it be any kind of mask? Like, a little domino mask like Robin wears. I'd do that.

fondue with cheddar

@Elsajeni Wow...that gives whole new meaning to that Van Morrison song: "Oh, domino / Roll me over Romeo, there you go"

Elsajeni

@fondue with cheddar Or a Zorro mask! I'd wear a Zorro mask in bed.

fondue with cheddar

@Elsajeni Me too, but I would call it a Dread Pirate Roberts mask.

mabellegueule

This question is fake though, right?

iceberg

@mabellegueule please gods let it be fake

londonienne

@iceberg God I hope so or I'm sad for everyone involved. I follow that column and the letters are getting stranger each week. Hmm...

Anninyn

@mabellegueule It's gotta be fake. There is a small contingent of people who enjoy sending in ridiculous questions to The Guardian's advice column. They tell me it is because The Guardian's advice column is super-pretentious and earnest.

I do not know who sent this letter, though.

RK Fire

@Anninyn I'm now imagining that there is an Official Club of People Trolling The Guardian's Advice Column, and it's kind of great. Maybe a listserv where everyone shoots ideas and takes turns submitting letters.

Anninyn

@RK Fire I would not be surprised. Most of the people I know who are into that sort of thing tend to be fairly organised about it.

I do know that my husband and two of his friends regularly troll the Daily Mail comments section. My husband is on his sixth log in. I'm so proud?

nicolarz

@mabellegueule I HOPE it's fake, because it seems like such a cruel thing to make your partner do.

questingbeast

@mabellegueule To me it seemed so obviously a not-very-good joke that I was pretty amazed to see it reposted seriously today. But maybe I am too cynical?
This one, however, was 100% definitely a (much better) joke. http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/aug/10/familyandrelationships1

Verity

@Anninyn It really is. I try to be as sex-positive and non-judgemental as possible, but generally still think Pamela Stephenson Connolly's advice is ridiculously pretentious and someone just needs to say, "No, this is weird".

hallelujah

7. I would tell EVERYONE (friends-wise, not, like, Grandma). How do you keep something like that to yourself???

EDIT: Maybe Grandma too, actually! Because COME ON.

LacunaKale

I have a similar problem, except that I have to be wearing a Chewbacca mask. Bandoliers optional.

maybe partying will help

@LacunaKale

There's a bowcaster dick joke in here somewhere but I'm too hungover to find it.

Blushingflwr

Wow. I mean, I love a good leather hood (or a pillowcase in a pinch), but I feel like a mask of someone else's face would cross a line for me. I could probably find a way to make it hot as an occasional thing (hello objectification kink) but every time? I think that would be a limit.

ETA: Also, can't you just do it doggy-style and PRETEND she's someone else?

Onymous

@Blushingflwr during doggie style he makes her turn the mask around so he can keep looking at it I'm sure.

Blushingflwr

@Onymous or maybe just a wig.

fabel

@Onymous LOL

leonstj

@Blushingflwr - I mean, hasn't this guy ever read Walter Mitty, for fucks sake? At work I regularly pretend that I am in a lovely cabin in New England writing masterpieces, when I am actually in a chill office w/ an ikea desk in chelsea writing 'project status' emails. He should just keep his dumb mouth shut and pretend his real-life is his dream life like the rest of us.

Outsized desires & itty-bitty imaginations are such a sad combination.

par_parenthese

@leon s Ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa is the sound of their lovemaking.

rayray

@par_parenthese I die.

rainbow

"Is it, like "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" Billie Piper, or "Doctor Who" Billie Piper?"
Call Girl Billie Piper, of course. This guy would ask the woman he loves to wear a celebrity mask because she's not famous enough to be fuckable. Than sounds much more Secret Diary audience than Dr Who audience.
Also, can't he just ask her to wear a plain leather hood or feathery mask and pretend Billie Piper's under it? Jesus, how little imagination can you have.

sophia_h

I know Dan Savage has his issues, but I feel like this question definitely should've gone to him because he would've told the letter writer that he'd better be on his knees doing everything in the world this girl wants, since the chances of him finding someone else who'd put up with this fetish are pretty fucking slim. (Which I guess the article kind of did, except not nearly as bluntly. Maybe it was blunt for Britain?)

causedbycomma

@sophia_h Pretty much. I actually think I remember a similar letter that went to him and he was like "you moron, you have found someone that puts up with your thing, which many people would find completely bizarre, and now you better give her whatever she wants as well." Also, for some reason the people doing this always seem to be men?

sophia_h

@causedbycomma After a decade of reading Savage Love, my suspicions are 1. Men are more visual and watch more weird porn, so are more likely to develop unusual fetishes or fixations, 2. Men are more comfortable asking their partners to indulge said fetishes, probably due to socialization and culture surrounding sex and gender, and 3. Men are more likely to write to Dan Savage about their fetishes.

leonstj

@causedbycomma - It does always seem like dudes! Off the top of my head, I feel like it could be (A)society exists in such a way that men feel entitled to receive whatever type of sex they want and have no qualms with asking for / demanding it, or (B)Dudes are so eager to fuck that if a girl was like "Yo, you need to wear a tricorn hat and we have to listen to 'Under The Sea' or I'm just not feeling it" that we wouldn't mind.

I feel like if i knew what percentage was A and which was B I could make a lot of money. I suppose a POSSIBLE answer is (C)"Ladies are nowhere near the level of out-there-bizarre as men", but I doubt fairly strongly that this is true.

leonstj

@leon s - Whoops, accidentally replied instead of editing. I had the page open and speculated before realizing sophia_h said the same thing as me, but better.

sophia_h

@leon s Ladies are weird too! But it doesn't get talked about as much. I myself have some stuff in my head I've never shared with my husband and don't really plan on, because I'm happy with it being in my head and not real life. I wonder if women are just more comfortable with mental sex stuff and don't necessarily need to act it all out.

Miss Maszkerádi

@sophia_h But wouldn't Dan Savage also shame the girl for not being "GGG" enough? Like, he'd go into that whiny "Look, is it SO HARD to do something weird for someone who wants to fuck you?!" mode.

Admittedly I haven't read Savage in a while so I might be guessing wrong.

sophia_h

@leon s No, you have a good point about men feeling fewer qualms about asking for the sex they want. There are probably women who wish their partners would wear Channing Tatum masks but are forced to just visualize a potato instead.

@Countess Maritza Yeah, that's why I said he's got his issues, because you never know how he's going to respond. If the girl had written the letter, maybe she'd have gotten the shaming lecture. But coming from the guy, and being a bizarre fetish Dan's probably not personally into, I think he'd take the "you lucky SOB" line.

iceberg

@leon s "that men feel entitled to receive whatever type of sex they want and have no qualms with asking for / demanding it"

bingo

Judith Slutler

@Countess Maritza Nah he is pretty clear on the fact that kinksters should never try to make their vanilla partners have kinky sex all the damn time, and that they have to regularly honor their partners' desire for regular old garden variety fuckin, too.

par_parenthese

@leon s "Yo, you need to wear a tricorn hat and we have to listen to 'Under The Sea' or I'm just not feeling it"

I thought I was the only one with a thing for Colonial Williamsburg re-enactors AND The Little Mermaid!

RNL
RNL

@Countess Maritza Just to jump in here, as a long-time Dan Savage reader. There are legit criticisms of Dan Savage for sure, but he has been very clear that "GGG" does not obligate anyone to do anything, and that lots of things can be, for individuals, a "fetish too far" and that is fine and your partner has to respect that. GGG is a way to encourage people to be open-minded, but "game" is not synonymous for "obligated to do anything and everything your kinkier partner requests."

As Emmanuelle Cunt points out, he also comes down HARD on kinksters who neglect their vanilla partner's needs.

Douchebags hear what they want to hear, though.

Miss Maszkerádi

@RNL Fair enough! Like I said I haven't read him in a while, and I think in retrospect my brain made him even more annoying than I already found him.

Onymous

@RNL Eh... maybe he's gotten better about it in the last 4 or 5 years, but when I stopped reading him "very clear" meant one answer every 4-5 months he'd say "well okay if it REEAALLLYY bothers you (you prude) you don't *have* to" which was surrounded with answers that amounted to "well look maybe just have let him tie you up and spank you half the time". It always felt like the equivalent of tacking "not that there's anything wrong with that" on the end of an essay as a way of indemnifying yourself.

And yeah part of that is because a big part of the column is about normalizing kink and of course no one sends letters to advice columnist because everything is hunky-dory. Doesn't make it any better to read though.

Blackwatch Plaid

@sophia_h "visualize a potato"...OMG I'm in public and trying not to die of laughter.

frigwiggin

Whatever happened to the power of imagination??

Kids these days...

frigwiggin

Also, I had no idea who Kimberley Walsh is because Emma Garman hasn't written an article about her on the Awl yet.

hallelujah

@frigwiggin Right? That series is my entire frame of reference for British celebrities.

Es
Es

@hallelujah MIne too, and I live in the UK...

leonstj

What ever happened to keeping treats as treats? Setting aside the ridiculousness of demanding something like this, even if the lady friend was somehow inexplicably cool with it (which, somebody deserves a fucking medal or something) WHAT ABOUT HALLOWEEN!?!?!?!?

I feel like this man is ruining the sanctity of halloween. We already have a day for people to have weird sex pretending to be someone they're not, you can't go and do it all the time.

That'd be like if I decided the only thing I was ever going to eat for dinner was like, bao & a porterhouse & oysters & a big ol' glass of scotch. It would just make my birthday feel so much less special, and eventually, what's the point, even?

JessicaLovejoy

Mask of my own face is fine, as long as he pays for it.

Lisa Frank

How did he first broach the subject and convince his girlfriend to go along with this? His ability to withstand embarrassment and his powers of persuasion must be unsurpassed. He should start a service where he has awkward and uncomfortable conversations for people. Do you need to break up with someone, kick out your roommate or have a conversation with your boss? Let this guy do it for you!

KeLynn

@Lisa Frank Seriously, did he ask her to wear the mask the very first time they had sex? If my BF of 5ish years asked me to do that now, I'd probably go along with it (and, honestly, feel like I deserved the Chill Girlfriend of the Year award for it) but if he asked for that in the beginning, that would have been the end of that.

Judith Slutler

@KeLynn I just want to know if he started the explanation with "As you know, I'm so obsessed with celebrity culture..."

Like on their first night together.

And did he have a pre-existing mask collection?

Ophelia

@Emmanuelle Cunt And how does he sanitize said pre-existing collection when his girlfriends inevitably dump him?

Vera Knoop

@Ophelia
*tiny, tiny screams*

Judith Slutler

@Ophelia Sanitize? This guy???

TARDIStime

@Emmanuelle Cunt *bigger, biggest screams*

TheclaAndTheSeals

I could MAYBE get on board with this if it were a mask of someone not conventionally attractive. Like, I'd rather wear a mask of Queen Elizabeth than Jessica Alba. That would feel more like a "real" fetish and less like an elaborate way of calling me ugly.

par_parenthese

@TheclaAndTheSeals For reals. I call major shenanigans on this being a fetish. Fetish !=just being a total shit to one's girlfriend.

Judith Slutler

Um. Wow.

I remember the time after I got my hair chopped off really short, and gave my boyfriend a BJ, and he was like "Wow! That looked like I was getting blown by another woman!" So I was like "Heyyyyy, sounds like I should get some wigs or something for future special occasions?" and then he was like o_o and then we never talked about it again. Even though I wasn't joking in the least.

However I would not be up for wearing a mask every single time. I mean WHAT? That sounds like a line out of the Flight of the Conchords classic "I told you I was freaky"

leonstj

@Emmanuelle Cunt - You really deserve a lot of credit for not responding to that "Wow!" with physical violence.

Judith Slutler

@leon s Hey my bed is a safe space for raunchy nonsense (within reason)!

wee_ramekin

@Emmanuelle Cunt Later that night, he wrote in his diary:

This Is Just To Say

I have spoken
my fetish
that was in
my head

and which
I was probably
not going
to talk about ever.

My girlfriend
was fine with it
and I
wimped out. :'(

PS - <3 u Crash

Judith Slutler

@wee_ramekin noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

that's it imma get him drunk and then we're gonna talk about it again!

279th District Court

All I can picture is his girlfriend as a B-lister who's still not enough of a famous name for him to just sleep with HER. It's a very sad image.

Judith Slutler

@279th District Court Oh god...

Vera Knoop

@279th District Court
That's what I got from this, too. Someone who puts in the upkeep necessary to have a body that "matches" his fantasies is probably in the industry also.

Miss Maszkerádi

Really hope this letter is fake, as was mentioned above. Because otherwise this poor woman is repeatedly allowing herself to be fucked by someone who, every single time, blatantly and obviously, wishes he was fucking someone else.

par_parenthese

@Countess Maritza If she is real I want to find her and give her a hug and help her pack up all the stuff she's ever left at his house.

charmcity

Welp, THAT'S a dealbreaker, ladies.

Scandyhoovian

My girlfriend isn't too impressed with this, but goes along with it anyway. However, when she wants me to have sex with her when she is not wearing a mask, I don't think I can, because I can only get turned on by the celebrities.

Then she should dump you and you are damn lucky she puts up with you because if I were in her shoes I would take that as "you're not attractive to me so wear someone else's face please," which is never, ever going to work out for the person saying such a thing.

YMMV of course, but jesus.

de-lurked

So...they only have sex with the light on?

Leanne

I'm sad the advice wasn't simply "close your eyes and think of England."

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

I feel like this is two steps away from some serious "it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again" territory. Or, maybe, "it puts the mask on its skin if it wants to get the hose again." I don't know. It's dehumanizing, that's what I'm saying.

Verity

6. Did you know who Kimberley Walsh was without Googling?

Yes, because I am British and Girls Aloud are ridiculously popular here. (Do I listen to their music/actively seek out information about them? No, I do not. But I seem to know all about them anyway.)

Actually, just checking, she is on the front of the most recent Cosmopolitan I bought. Apparently her bum has its own Twitter account.

TARDIStime

@Verity I want to know if J.Lo tweets out her ass - I feel like she should have beat Pippa Middleton to it, you know?

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I am a 23-year-old man and am obsessed with celebrity culture. Whenever I have sex with my girlfriend, I insist that she must wear a mask of one of the female celebrities who really turn me on, such as Billie Piper or Kimberley Walsh. My girlfriend isn't too impressed with this, but goes along with it anyway. However, when she wants me to have sex with her when she is not wearing a mask, I don't think I can, because I can only get turned on by the celebrities. vf streaming

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@online dating walrus Okay I think you are my favorite - I just did the research and you were originally TROLL, then Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and now the online dating walrus, and you have stayed wholly in character each time. I'm impressed, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next termografering pris

jimmyrapper

fondue with cheddar Or a Zorro mask! I'd wear a Zorro mask in bed. tiket pesawat

jimmyrapper

Blushingflwr - I mean, hasn't this guy ever read Walter Mitty, for fucks sake? At work I regularly pretend that I am in a lovely cabin in New England writing masterpieces, when I am actually in a chill office w/ an ikea desk in chelsea writing 'project status' emails. He should just keep his dumb mouth shut and pretend his real-life is his dream life like the rest of us. dale buczkowski

usama

Now, the first sentence of the official response began "fetishistic sexuality is essentially based on a neurological pattern..." instead of "oh, what? Jeez. Urgh," so obviously he should get his advice from The Guardian and not randomly horrified onlookers, but a few questions do come to mind: select hotel

usama

instead of "oh, what? Jeez. Urgh," so obviously he should get his advice from The Guardian and not randomly horrified onlookers, but a few questions do come to mind: South African SEO Company

usama

instead of "oh, what? Jeez. Urgh," so obviously he should get his advice from The Guardian and not randomly horrified onlookers, but a few questions do come to mind: South African SEO Company

usama

The Guardian and not randomly horrified onlookers, but a few questions do come to mind: DS Domination

danialkhatri

"fetishistic sexuality is essentially based on a neurological pattern..." instead of "oh, what? Jeez. Urgh," so obviously he should get his advice from The Guardian and not randomly horrified onlookers, but a few questions do come to mind: Watches

jimmyrapper

@leon s Ladies are weird too! But it doesn't get talked about as much. I myself have some stuff in my head I've never shared with my husband and don't really plan on, because I'm happy with it being in my head and not real life. I wonder if women are just more comfortable with mental sex stuff and don't necessarily need to act it all out. carpetcleaninginlondon.com/carpet-cleaners/carpet-cleaning-streatham.html

bill.marks

n I just want to know if he started the explanation with "As you know, I'm so obsessed with celebrity culture..." avoir plus de vues sur vimeo

jimmyrapper

@Emmanuelle Cunt And how does he sanitize said pre-existing collection when his girlfriends inevitably dump him? what does bubblegum casting do

usama

Mercifully it was peaceful. Memories of the 2008 election - burnt and lacerated bodies, weeping girls and women who had been raped, swollen, bleeding feet and dead bodies - were fresh in the minds of many.

danialkhatri

I would rather have her make him wear it, or have her wear it and be all, Surprise. Tarot

danialkhatri

I would rather have her make him wear it, or have her wear it and be all, Surprise. Tarot

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