Today Collectors Weekly has a nice roundup of nasty cards, with a fun 30-slide gallery at the end. Something for everyone.
valentine's day, from the archives, collectors weekly, vinegar valentines
I bid you now "skiddoo!!!"
Now that I know that telling people to commit suicide via Valentines Day card is socially acceptable, I have some re-writing to do...
"Let me see how good you are at jumping off the roof!"
I... did not expect that. These are brilliant though. The only card I can think of that I have seen recently that comes close is a close up of fridge magnets saying "YOU SMELL OF WEE". Blank inside.
omg! There is a vinegar valentine for the bookworm, even!
If these were still around, maybe that whole "asshole parking" fiasco could have been avoided.
I don't understand the chewing gum girl one: "change from gum to rag?" Also, I love that it's addressed to "momma".
Also, "The Lord loves a cheerful giver, but You will never give him cause to love You." OUCH.
@fondue with cheddar Wikipedia just told me that in late-1800s slang, "chewing the rag" meant gabbing and/or spreading gossip. So maybe the gum woulc get in the way of her trying to chat?
@SarahP Aha! That makes sense. Thanks, SarahP and Wikipedia!
Pollen thinks these were mostly given in seriousness, and I'm sure some were. But just like peop le love to tease each other in cards now, I imagine a lot of these were given in jest (or at least half-jest.)
And what is that scary spur-clad figure lurking to the left of the secessionist? A soldier? A messenger?
Also, who really thought that people were nicer back in the day, when women were told to sit down and shut up, and lynchings were rampant, and Nellie Olsen was around?
Aw, the bad-singer one hits a little too close to home. I don't have a very good voice, but sometimes I sing around the house when I'm in a good mood or have something stuck in my head (I like singing!), and my boyfriend is...not fond of it. Wah.
Oh god can we bring these back?! I'd love to send some choice doggerel to, say, people who post screenshots of their 4.0 GPA at the end of every semester, or engage in constant Facebook PDA, or humblebraggers, or....or....
I love the ones mocking poseurs. Even the hair is the same.
I love seeing things like this, and stuff like the incredibly cheeky and profane graffiti on the walls Pompeii. It comforts me to see how much the human race DOES NOT CHANGE in many respects, even if it does in other ways.
I will never stop being amazed by people who think that snark and meanness is a new thing. It's like there's this mythical Times Past that people think existed where everyone was kind and rosy cheeked and nothing bad happened to anyone and a pie cooled lazily on each and every cheery windowsill and there was baseball and kids skinned their knees and rode bikes and never sassed their elders or got murdered, and people drank lemonade and didn't curse at each other on the freeway, etc. Also things like racism and sexism and homophobia and genocide didn't exist because everyone was a rosy cheeked white as hell pie eating baseball watching lemonade drinking person, I guess?
Or as Ned Flanders so aptly put it, "I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear that only exists in the brains of us Republicans!"
My initial hopes were that there were going to be actual valentines to vinegar.
Or to people, but being gifts of vinegar! "Skip the roses sweetheart, send me some of the finest balsamic."
@ms. alex Have you checked A Clean Person's tumblr?
@Faintly Macabre I have, but only a bit. Does it have actual valentines to vinegar?
@ms. alex Haha, I don't actually know--I haven't checked either! But if they existed anywhere, they'd be there, I'm sure.
I like that apparently, people still had a concept of "butter face" back then.
ETA even though yes, that term is mean & objectifying & gross.
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