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Friday, February 1, 2013

64

Things Bloomberg Might Have Said of a Woman at a Party

According to The New York Times:

"...an ungentlemanly remark about a woman’s attractive backside at a Christmas party last year."

"...the comment that was attributed to him in an article in New York magazine this week."

"the quotation"

"the alleged remark on her derrière"

According to one's imagination after reading that article:

"Why, that young woman appears to have an attractive backside!"

"Pardon my French, but there's a derrière by the canapés."

"I would make a comment about THAT in New York Magazine."

According to New York Magazine:

“Look at the ass on her.”

64 Comments / Post A Comment

dj pomegranate

"Derrière by the canapés" is the name of the novel I have just decided to write.

Decca

@dj pomegranate Is it a murder mystery

Emby

@Decca No, it's a fantassy.

meaux

@dj pomegranate. I'd read the hell out of that.

teaandcakeordeath

@Decca
It should at least be somewhat of a thriller

PoBoyNation

@Decca This is cracking me up.

Cawendaw

And we're totally sure she wasn't being crushed by a donkey?

fondue with cheddar

@Cawendaw We're not sure, that's why it's "alleged".

wharrgarbl

@fondue with cheddar I wonder if anyone's asked Bloomberg for confirmation.

Amphora

"the alleged remark on her derrière"

Geez, NYT, we get it, you're in Bloomberg's pocket, but do you HAVE to be so pearl-clutchy?

Megan@twitter

Related: Can we talk about Christine Quinn's whole "the mayor likes me in heels" thing from the New York magazine article? That is messed up.

parallel-lines

@Megan@twitter Yes, tell your lesbian employee to wear heels. No issues there, Mr. Mayor. He also has opinions about her hair:
“Another big thing with the mayor, when I am rooting … like, the couple of days a week before I need to get my hair colored, he’ll say, ‘Do you pay a lot to make your hair be two colors? Because now it’s three with the gray.’ And I’m like, ‘Did you wake up being this big of an asshole? Or did it take, like, all day to ramp up to it to be able to insult me like that?’ ”

Said article (for those who haven't read it): http://nymag.com/news/features/christine-quinn-2013-2/

Decca

@Megan@twitter Comfortable Shoes Brigade 4 Lyfe

fondue with cheddar

@parallel-lines WHAAAAT

iceberg

@parallel-lines "rooting"

Megan@twitter

@parallel-lines And then does she just giggle about it and think the Mayor is a lovable scamp? Obviously he's a total asshole but I don't understand her reaction to it either. I'd nail flats to my feet and grow out my hair completely gray in response.

Lost penguin

@Iceberg that's only really funny if you understand Aussie speak

TARDIStime

@Lost penguin In Oz, "rooting" is definitely NSFW at the office...

iceberg

But you guys maybe she really did have a nice ass?

I would hate to be a public figure.

fondue with cheddar

@iceberg Hey, I don't want to hear another crack out of you.

raised amongst catalogs

@fondue with cheddar Cheeky.

Decca

@raised amongst catalogs No need to be so anal about language, you two. Stop arguing, let's put all this behind us.

fondue with cheddar

@raised amongst catalogs Why do we make puns? Because we can.

Decca

@fondue with cheddar That's too glib, we need to really pause and assess this situation.

fondue with cheddar

@Decca You're right...we've made so much progress up until now. I'd hate to backside.

Decca

@fondue with cheddar DID U KNO there is a Wiki page for "cultural history of the buttocks"?

whizz_dumb

@Decca This all smacks of heavy-handedness.

fondue with cheddar

@Decca I like that Wiki page and I cannot lie.

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@fondue with cheddar Stop making that poor lady the butt of all your jokes!

fondue with cheddar

@Oliver St. John Mollusc I'm sorry, you're right. This needs to end.

teaandcakeordeath

@fondue with cheddar
I think we can safely ass-ume her buttocks were quite lovely

Decca

@teaandcakeordeath Looking up Wiki for other words for a butt I come across" "fanny – a socially acceptable term in print, in Canada and the United States at least, for many years before some of the bolder terms came along; and a subject of jokes, since "Fannie" can be a woman's name, diminutive of "Frances"; however, in British English fanny refers to the female genitals or vulva and is considered vulgar. The figure of a bare-bottomed lass named Fanny is ubiquitous in Provence (the southeast of France) wherever pétanque is played: traditionally when a player loses 13 to 0 it is said that “il est fanny” (he's fanny), and he has to kiss the bottom of a girl called Fanny; as there is rarely an obliging Fanny, there is always a substitute picture, woodcarving or pottery so that Fanny’s bottom is always available."

fondue with cheddar

@teaandcakeordeath Bloomberg was definitely a fan(ny).

Decca

@Decca "rarely an obliging Fanny"

dj pomegranate

@teaandcakeordeath I really don't know why you guys are raising such a rump-us about this.

fondue with cheddar

@dj pomegranate I guess it's because Bloomberg is such a bum.

teaandcakeordeath

@Fondue with Cheddar, Decca
He's fanny.

No I cant write that it feels to wrong! The presence of fannies has made reading too many Enid Blyton books far too awkward!

LeafySeaDragon

@Oliver St. John Mollusc it's asinine!

fondue with cheddar

@LeafySeaDragon Maybe I just missed something, but it's been awhile since I've seen a good pun thread. What tuchus so long?

LeafySeaDragon

@fondue with cheddar i'm always bringing up the rear.

fondue with cheddar

@LeafySeaDragon Be proud! Everyone's favorite train car is the caboose.

PoBoyNation

@fondue with cheddar There's certainly been an abundance of topics to cover!

stuffisthings

@iceberg Gosh, I can't believe I missed a whole pun thread on the Hairpin!

I'm really behind today.

fondue with cheddar

@PoBoyNation It's a treasure. A linguistic booty, if you will.

dj pomegranate

@stuffisthings Sometimes these pun threads are so good I want to save them for posterier-ity.

fondue with cheddar

@dj pomegranate Me too! We should print them all out and store them in a trunk.

stuffisthings

I think it's time all you ladies got back to work.

 clara morena

@fondue with cheddar
You other mayors cannot deny
That when a voter walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face

trappedinabay

@stuffisthings Would anyone care for a bun? Perhaps two?

fondue with cheddar

I SEE A PICTURE OF A BUTT

anachronistique

@fondue with cheddar Scara-tush, scara-tush, can you do the buttdango?

fondue with cheddar

@anachronistique Thunderbutt and lightning, very very frightening, me!

leonstj

I think you mean "Derriere, Alleged To Have Been Commented on by Mayor, Was Not, Claims Mayor," Grey Lady. If you aren't going to phrase your headlines in the most ridiculous way possible, why even bother?

stuffisthings

@leon s Some people get their intellectual stimulation from the Times by doing the crossword, some get it from trying to figure out the headlines.

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

"I would make a comment about THAT in New York Magazine."

NICOLE! You crack me up.

lora.bee

@Katzen-party This is my new phrase when I see someone sexy.

stuffisthings

@Katzen-party "I dunno man, I'd comment about it the Daily News maybe..."

fabel

I like the part when he basically tries to say that "I'd do her" just meant "I'd do...lunch...with her... .. ."

teaandcakeordeath

@fabel
Yeah. He'd do ... lunch ... with her all night long.

Frankie's Girl

Why hairpin? Why?

I'm on day 2 of trying to quit smoking and come here to distract myself, and there is a CIGARETTE butt on the first story I see... ~sob~

(sorry for the offtopic, but I'm really neurotic now)
and even more off topic, but doesn't cigarette look misspelled when you type it in all caps? Or is it just me?

Lu2
Lu2

@Frankie's Girl --Courage! Good for you! I know you can do it! And you're right about the all caps. It looks even more like "lady cigar" than ever that way.

I've had a one-or-two-cigarettes-a-day habit for 2 years (pls don't laugh) and have spent most of that time trying to convince myself that their effect on my body is negligible, because I don't want to give it up. It's a totally psychological dependence, because if I have to go w/o (like while visiting my parents), I'm fine. I can see how difficult it would be to also have the physical dependence. I know it is humanly possible for you to do this, and because you want to, you can, too!

Nicole Cliffe

My husband thought up "Sweet sugary sodas! Speaking of things that should be banned..." but it was too late. Sorry, people who will not read this comment. Your terrible loss!

Lu2
Lu2

@Nicole Cliffe --I am still here, and I acknowledge with appropriate glee your husband's contribution.

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