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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

102

The Ladylike Pie

Previously: The Fake Boyfriend Pie

Ann Friedman sits with her ankles crossed primly while pounding whiskey alone at the bar.



102 Comments / Post A Comment

frigwiggin

I say we get a free pass on the queso, though.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

Not driving all over the countryside on a tractor like Toad of Toad Hall, that's for sure!

wee_ramekin

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll <3 u

gobblegirl

I was rather confused what part of the one-hitter baseball game the lady got her lips on (the score card?), until I googled it. Gross.

noodge

@gobblegirl ? are we not thinking of the same kind of one hitter? is this an example of "urban dictionary gone horribly wrong"? I'm at work, and don't want to risk searching it myself...

coolallison

@noodge I, too, am afraid to google it whilst at work.

fondue with cheddar

@gobblegirl A one-hitter is a type of tiny marijuana pipe.

noodge

@fondue with cheddar i just realized I could have just said that instead of being so bemused, ha.

gobblegirl

@noodge Apparently it's some sort of weed pipe that I'm picturing covering in old lipstick and pot gunk. It's an unhygienic image, but not outrageously scandalous.
Somehow, I was trying to picture lipstick on the abstract concept of a baseball game score. I'm a naive little duck.

fondue with cheddar

@noodge Haha, I couldn't tell from your comment if you knew what it was or not!

@gobblegirl Sharing a pipe/joint with someone who's wearing lipstick is so gross.

noodge

@gobblegirl oh. yeah, that's the one hitter i was thinking of, guess it just seems cute and not gross to me, heh.

martinipie

@noodge Maybe it is all the pot I smoked in my formative years but I find it kinda charming too?

fondue with cheddar

@martinipie I guess it's only gross when you're not a lipstick-wearer.

thenotestaken

@noodge I find it cute too! Delicate little tokes are ladylike, right?

fondue with cheddar

@thenotestaken Wait, are we talking about one-hitters being cute or lipstick on a one-hitter being cute? I'm confused. I think they're great, like a little pot hors d'oeuvre.

iffie

@gobblegirl my you have delicate sensibilities. you must be the most ladylike commenter in the bunch. probably a total bummer as well.

noodge

@iffie it's all good. throttle down, sister.

craygirl

@iffie

Wow, that seemed super harsh and unnecessary!

thenotestaken

@fondue with cheddar I think one-hitters are great too! And I just have this image in my head of the classic black & white movie heroine (obviously a lady) smoking in that way that makes it look so beautiful and classy, but instead of a cigarette it's a one-hitter. If lipstick got on it I would just wipe it off?

fondue with cheddar

@thenotestaken Yeah! When I was in college I always wanted a long one in the style of those old cigarette holders. Then again, I wouldn't have looked beautiful and classy holding that while wearing a flannel, men's jeans, and Doc Martens.

Brunhilde

@fondue with cheddar My one hitter is the cutest little thing! I barely ever use it, but if I feel like smoking I'm not going to roll a fucking joint. I guess I could go retro and do something with my recyclables and aluminum foil.

gobblegirl

@iffie I apologize for telling a self-deprecating anecdote of being a dumdum who confuses baseball with pot. It was definitely to point out how ladylike and classy I am compared to you. Yup.

fondue with cheddar

@Brunhilde Or an apple!

Brunhilde

@fondue with cheddar Haha, one time we tried to use a pear that was maybe a little overripe and the thing practically disintegrated. That was gross.

fondue with cheddar

@Brunhilde EEEEWWWW. Kind of hilarious, though. My favorite was always the plastic soda bottle / Bic pen bong, which made me feel like stoner MacGyver.

Brunhilde

@fondue with cheddar Yes!!!! Pepsi/Bic pen bongs forever. Now I want to make one just for the nostalgia.

fondue with cheddar
itiresias

@fondue with cheddar this reminds me that over christmas i stole my boyfriend's dad's high school era military jacket. i'm so happy about it again now.

apples and oranges

@fondue with cheddar Every time I watch this I lose it. Cannot keep it together. The combination of him speaking and singing and speak-singing and his SPEECH in the middle. Ahhhh. So hilarious.

fondue with cheddar

@kangerine Hilarious and heartfelt and SO awkward. Love it. :)

Emby

Because you're a freak in the bed, but currently are in the street.

iceberg

because Lionel Richie said so?

noodge

@iceberg ...or Tom Jones?

hands_down

@iceberg Only Kenny Rogers can decide who's a lady.

Lu2
Lu2

I'm never in the way, something always nice to say. It's a blessing. Bonus: You can leave me on my own knowing I'm okay alone and there's no messing!

Ten Thousand Buckets

When my dude was a kid he thought that the defining quality of ladies was that they always went into another room to fart. I actually do that, so it was pretty funny when he told me. I might slub around in my pjs all day and eat vast amounts of pasta directly from the pot... but as long as I keep farting in empty rooms I'm still a lady, damnit!

fondue with cheddar

@Ten Thousand Buckets My brother must have been lady when he was little then, because he would always leave his room to fart in my room.

whizz_dumb

@Ten Thousand Buckets This seems right to me because I always remember to go into another room when it's too late and I think being a dude has something to do with this.

fondue with cheddar
Ophelia

@fondue with cheddar Dude, you are ON today.

fondue with cheddar

@Ophelia Thanks! That's because I'm totally not paying attention to my work.

City_Dater

This is very relevant to my interests today.
Just add a pie slice for "Wait until everyone else disappears around the corner before reaching up under skirt and fixing tights-induced wedgie".

Ophelia

@City_Dater Or, for a warm weather version, wait until everyone else disappears before using skirt of maxi-dress to fan ones ladybits.

Alli525

@City_Dater @Ophelia Oh gods yes, both of these.

wee_ramekin

Because if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it.

TheLetterL

@wee_ramekin * May only apply to single ladies

Ophelia

@wee_ramekin http://xkcd.com/712/

area@twitter

@Ophelia Now I can't stop thinking of Beyonce striding through Middle-Earth as the queen of Nazgul. With her awesome Super Bowl crew riding pyrotechnic guitars in her wake.

martinipie

Correction: only watch James Deen porn in GIF format

(this is not even true for me so clearly I am not so ladylike)

highfivesforall

Because you don't wander all over the room and blow on some other guy's dice.

Apocalypstick

@highfivesforall That always sounded highly suggestive to me.

katiemcgillicuddy

If Republicans think of you as a second-class citizen? You might just be poor or gay or something, though.

wee_ramekin

Because you like spaghetti and handsome, scruffy rogues.

wee_ramekin

@wee_ramekin (you guys i was TOTALLY in love with the tramp when i was little. like, hardcore crush.)

Nicole Cliffe

@wee_ramekin Only when you were little? (call me, Tramp)

maybe partying will help

@wee_ramekin

He is def tied with Robin Hood for hottest anthropomorphic Disney animals.

PomoFrannyGlass

@maybe partying will help ...and suddenly the intense crushes on animated characters I had as a child come rushing back. Robin Hood for sure, Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, dark early 90s Batman, I think one of the Rescue Rangers? and a cartoon lion with a short, spiky mane and overalls who appeared in my dreams (in a friend/helping capacity; if he was in any pre-pubescent naughty dreams I have blocked those out and thank sweet christ for that).

This is my favorite of all the pie charts, also.

fondue with cheddar

@maybe partying will help I didn't realize it until I read your comment, but I had such a crush on Disney Robin Hood when I was a kid.

wee_ramekin

@Nicole Cliffe Hahahaha, well, now that I'm an adult who can see that the Tramp is probably part Schnauzer...let me just say that it's fine if Tramp never calls ;).

maybe partying will help

@PomoFrannyGlass

Goliath from Gargoyles. Yeeeep. And I think it's safe to say that Terry from Batman Beyond helped me enter puberty.

/tmi Wednesday?

PomoFrannyGlass

@maybe partying will help
Every day is TMI Wednesday for me.

katiemcgillicuddy

@PomoFrannyGlass I'm with you on the Raph thing, he was so tortured.

PomoFrannyGlass

@katiemcgillicuddy Wikipedia refers to him as "the team's bad boy." Swoon.

katiemcgillicuddy

@PomoFrannyGlass What's funny is I've never been really into bad boys, but in this case, yeah, swoon. I still remember how scarred I was by watching him get beat into a coma in the first movie because I was basically in love with him.

Anyway.

whizz_dumb

@katiemcgillicuddy What about when he was so bummed about Splinter being in a coma that he couldn't leave Splinter's comatose bathtub'd side? He has complex feelings (I mean I was always into April O'Neal of course and Donatello was my favorite because he was purple and a smart scientist) Rafael never made me question my sexuality.

Amphora

@katiemcgillicuddy I attribute my childhood crush on him to our mutual love of pizza.

My second favorite food was spaghetti, too, so that covers the Tramp.

katiemcgillicuddy

@whizz_dumb No that WAS Raph in the tub! It was Leo sat next to the tub the whole time. It was so sad. But yeah, Splinter had been kidnapped! What happened was, I think, Raph and Leo got into a huge fight about what to do about Splinter being gone? And then Raph went up to the roof to cool off and got the shit beat out of him and then fell through the glass roof and then April's place burned down and it was CRAZY. I saw it at probably six or seven and it was some heavy shit.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Amphora Oh yeah, I had a much more innocent crush on Michelangelo, def partly because of the pizza thing.

whizz_dumb

@katiemcgillicuddy damnit, you're so right, and I've seen it as an adult. Holds up really well. I can still see the sadness in those puppet eyes when that one turtle found out Splinter was kidnapped. Really heavy shit.

area@twitter

@katiemcgillicuddy ohhh my god, it's all coming back to me now! I loved the Turtles, but Casey Jones with his scruffiness and his hockey stick was my grade school crush all the way. ~~dreamy sighs~~

katiemcgillicuddy

@area@twitter He was such a bastard, god I loved him. I remember as a kid being so intrigued by his relationship with April. It was like, "I don't know exactly what is going on but I defffffinitely like it, time to hit rewind."

katiemcgillicuddy

@whizz_dumb Oh no worries, sometimes when I get really worked up about a movie I confuse plot details because I'm just so excited. God, it does hold up really well, doesn't it?! The second one was fun, too...but man...that first one, damn.

area@twitter

@maybe partying will help Goliath. Oh yes. So mysterious and noble and tortured!!
Did anyone else here watch ReBoot? Oh, Bob. How I loved thee. With your heroism and your shiny silver dreads.

katiemcgillicuddy

@whizz_dumb God, I totally have a copy of the VHS version somewhere but I don't have a damn VCR anymore. I think I might download it later. I love that movie so hard.

PomoFrannyGlass

@katiemcgillicuddy This discussion is making my day, and motivating me to rewatch TMNT ASAP (thus using the $3 left on an Amazon holiday gift card!). Also, I just remembered I owned the soundtrack on cassette. Surely purged it in high school, but oh, the memories.

Beatrix Kiddo

@maybe partying will help Sure, the tramp's ok, but it's all about cartoon Robin Hood.

katiemcgillicuddy

@PomoFrannyGlass Haha, I know right?! Like whizz_dumb said, it really does hold up, I've definitely seen it in the last couple years, and if it ever came on TV (which it NEVER does, whyyyyyyy) it'd be one of those movies I flip to and I absolutely cannot turn off.

whizz_dumb

@katiemcgillicuddy I just gave it 5 stars on N-flix so that THEY KNOW I LIKE IT SO MUCH AND ACT ACCORDINGLY. Too bad it's not watch instant. Also, you can buy it digitally on Amazon Prime for $5 and watch it right away. There's my TMNT The Movie research for the day.

katiemcgillicuddy

@whizz_dumb Bless you for this, I am so going to watch it tonight.

whizz_dumb

@katiemcgillicuddy I constantly have that Pizza Hut commercial that starts off the VHS in my mind. "...that's why I play in right field, way out where the daaaaandelions grow."

katiemcgillicuddy

@whizz_dumb I literally just gasped and sat back and said "ohmygodohmygod". THAT COMMERCIAL ALWAYS MEANT SO MUCH TO ME FOR SOME REASON?!

whizz_dumb

@katiemcgillicuddy AND THEN HE CATCHES THE BALL, The loser kid isn't such a loser! There is hope in this fucked up world! And then a surprisingly DARK kids movie begins. Sorry for caps-yelling.

whizz_dumb

@katiemcgillicuddy And while we're at it, WinnieCooper is my wireless password at home. I should change my picture (again) so that I'm that young curmudgeon Kevin Arnold.

katiemcgillicuddy

@whizz_dumb CAPS YELLING IS NECESSARY SOMETIMES. That commercial, seriously. Ugh, it still bothers me that Kevin and Winnie didn't end up together.

whizz_dumb

@katiemcgillicuddy Kevin is kind-of a dick though.

katiemcgillicuddy

@whizz_dumb Wow, yeah. I do remember he was a dick at the end when Winnie fell for some other guy she worked with or something. Eh, either way, I loved them both.

LeafySeaDragon

@maybe partying will help i have to disagree and rank them scar, robin hood, then the tramp!

fondue with cheddar

@katiemcgillicuddy Me too, because that was my brother! He was good at soccer and hockey, but for some reason was terrible at baseball, which sucked because Mike Schmidt was his idol (he's a redhead too). Anyway, he made exactly one catch in his entire baseball career, and it was pretty much exactly like that. We all saw it happen in slow motion and it was amazing. And then that commercial came out and we were all like OMG IT'S JIMMY!

Apocalypstick

@LeafySeaDragon I recall being about 6 and playtime devolving into a conversation about whether we fancied young Simba or grown-up Simba more. Species does not seem to be a concern for kids & crushable animated animals.

katiemcgillicuddy

@fondue with cheddar Haha, perfect. Such a great commercial.

maybe partying will help

Because I just am, assface.

anachronistique

@maybe partying will help

itiresias

all of these apply wholeheartedly to me. especially myself liking the flaunting and dinner more than anyone.

Heat Signature

Because I'm awesome.

Danzig!

Good to see folks are already utilizing Vine for God's intended purpose.

lucy snowe

(( How did she know about the gif thing? ))

Edmon

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Edmon

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