1. If you had written this book, how would you open it?
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a large penis, must be in want of a wife (or a husband)."
"Happy penises are all alike; every unhappy penis is unhappy in its own way."
"A screaming penis comes across the sky."
"You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's new novel, If on a winter's night a penis."
"This is the saddest penis I have ever heard."
"Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the penis herself."
"There was a penis called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."
"I had a penis in Africa at the foot of the Ngong Hills."
2. How do you feel about penises, in general? Be specific, but also vague.