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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

23

First Pages of Fake Lifetime Movies: 'Parent-Teacher'

Bobby Finger's favorite Lifetime movie title is "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?"

23 Comments / Post A Comment

iceberg

I demand more first pages, per the article's title!!!

bobby finger@twitter

@iceberg I'M GOING TO TRY TO DO ONE EVERY WEEK THANK YOU FOR YOUR DEMAND I APPRECIATE IT

hellosweetie

@bobby finger@twitter I finally made a commenter account after months of lurking just to say YES PLEASE MAKE IT SO. Fake Lifetime moves speak to my very soul.

BuffyBot

@bobby finger@twitter AHHHH I've been loving these on Tumblr. I would normally go back to find the title and never insult you in such a way, but Tumblr at work is blocked :( THE GHOST ONE IS MY FAVORITE THOUGH.

beanie

@iceberg just first pages? Now I want to read the whole thing! (sad, but true)

Serafina

@hellosweetie are you the only water in the forest?

milenakent

Today the sun is shining@n

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

This is perfect. "stunning and unaware of it," because of course.
(My favorite Lifetime movie title is "She's Too Young.")

BuffyBot

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Starring Oscar nominee Marcia Gay Harden?

JessicaLovejoy

Bobby! Baby! Why did you cut off just before we see the darkly handsome man (ex Husband/Boyfriend/Parole Officer) lurking in the bushes?

slanket

This is awesome. "Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?" is pretty awesome, especially when it's Tori Spelling asking.

City_Dater

Love this.

If "Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?" had Meredith Baxter or Valerie Bertinelli playing Tori Spelling's mother, it would be the only Lifetime Movie anyone would ever need. As it is, it has Tori and a title containing a comma and a question mark, which is nearly perfect.

Anne

@City_Dater Agreed! But I insist that Tori's best work is in 1992's "Co-Ed Call Girl."

Ophelia

My favorite Lifetime movie is "Taken From Me" because a there's a bit part in it that was inspired by a friend of mine.

SylviaWrath

Death of a Cheerleader is a classic.

large__marge

"No One Would Tell" and "Dying to Belong", because they a) had bomb casts of 90's teen stars and b) had accompanying theme songs. They're both on Youtube! Watch them!

Champagne and potato chips

I clicked on the tag to see if there were more that I had missed but sadly no, pls rectify immed., I'll wait here.

Also, the "Ms." emphasis reminded me of this from a few months ago, which still pops into my head whenever I fill out forms online http://thehairpin.com/2012/10/mizzzzzz

MailerMattDaemon

Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life is both profoundly distressing and amusing all at the same time. And I also love the one where the jewelry store clerk's daughter dates a guy associated with the jewelry store's recent robbery. Danger ensues...

Faintly Macabre

I loved this (so much like my high school "movie" scripts!) except for the inclusion of a Mr. Ries anywhere near a school. My evil, sent-from-hell biology teacher in high school was also a (not-handsome) Mr. Ries, and I actually shuddered when I read the name here.

(I'm not suggesting that there be a Ries trigger warning. If someone could just erase the existence of that name from the internet and my memory, that would be sufficient--no need to bother anyone else.)

Verity

Anyone else remember Mia Thermopolis talking about how great "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?" was? (My main source of information about Lifetime movies.)

Valley Girl

First Pages of Fake Lifetime Movies deserves all the attention and more that the Fake Entourage Movie is getting.

craygirl

"MR. RIES" = I died a little.

samdesoil

Sophisticated software in the assembly requires the use of tens or even hundreds of source files. Bathroom tiling Blenheim

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