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Thursday, January 17, 2013

155

Your 2013 Baby Name Guide: Puritan Edition, Part Two

1. Revolt Morcock

2. Pleasant Dadd

3. Hew-agag-in-pieces-before-the-Lord Robinson

4. Constant Wood

5. Meek Brewer

6. Flie-fornication Andrewes

7. Small-hope Biggs

8. Free-gift Pilkington

9. Smite-them-hip-and-thigh Smith

10. Increased Helley

11. More-fruit Stone

12. Weep Not Billing

13. Wait-awhile Makepeace

14. Meek Beaver 

15. Diewell Sykes

16. America Sparrow

17. Faint Not Wines

18. Bigod Eggleston

19. Tryal Pore

20. Desire Minter

21. Sea-mercy Adams

22. Preserved Bullock

23. Safety-on-high Snat

24. Elected Mitchell

25. Renewed Wisberry

26. Constant Semer

27. Be-Thankful London

28. Standfast-on-high Stringer

29. Suretrust Rouse

30. Centurion Lucas

31. Handmaid Johnson

32. Deliverance Wilton

33. Help-on-high Foxe

34. Swear-not-at-all Ireton

35. Accepted Trevor

36. Silence Carew

37. Graceful Harding

38. God-reward Smart

39. Just Houlding

40. Changed Collins

41. Rejoice Lord

42. Welthiana Bryan

43. Recompense Mills

44. Mercye Bike

45. Obadiah-bind-their-kings-in-chains-and-their-nobles-in-irons Needham

Previously: Puritan Edition, Part One. 

Sarah Marshall is a graduate student living in Portland, Oregon.



155 Comments / Post A Comment

gobblegirl

Wait-awhile Makepeace: Yes, she'll let you see her bloomers, but you're going to have to buy her dinner first.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@gobblegirl Or you could just go out with Revolt Morcock.

fondue with cheddar

@gobblegirl The boys keep dumping her for Handmaid Johnson.

Judith Slutler

@fondue with cheddar She's a lot more fun than Just Houlding! edit: OR MEEK BEAVER

fondue with cheddar

@Emmanuelle Cunt She's just been cautious ever since that attempted date rape with Suretrust Rouse.

fondue with cheddar

@Emmanuelle Cunt P.S. Meek Beaver is my favorite!

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Be careful with Handmaid Johnson, or you might end up like Pleasant Dadd.

fondue with cheddar

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Not if you're Safety-on-high Snat!

mabellegueule

@gobblegirl Meek Beaver should probably stay away from Constant Wood. (Sorry?)

Sarah Marshall@facebook

@gobblegirl this thread is pretty much why I do these lists in the first place.

fondue with cheddar

@Sarah Marshall@facebook You give us so much; I'm glad we can give back.

You know who else likes to give back? Free-gift Pilkington.

yrouttasight

@fondue with cheddar You guys are killing me over here. I'm sitting at my desk with my hands over my mouth to stifle the snorting laughter.

fondue with cheddar

@yrouttasight Like Silence Carew?

yrouttasight

@fondue with cheddar When they ask me if I'm goofing off at work, I Swear-not-at-all Ireton.

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@yrouttasight Excellent is the only word i can give u for this wonderful blog, keep it up. I will come back again to read some more interesting things on this topic.oddset

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Jill_Tata

Wow! I'm proud of you.@k

fondue with cheddar

Revolt Morcock's father is unknown as they are the product of a gang-bang.

Judith Slutler

@fondue with cheddar But whoever fathered her child, Ms. Morcock would like to point out that he is definitely a Pleasant Dadd.

fondue with cheddar

@Emmanuelle Cunt Her midwife was Deliverance Wilton.

maybe partying will help

god can you imagine going through life with the name "Weep Not"?

fondue with cheddar

@maybe partying will help The other kids all calling you Creep Snot.

maybe partying will help

@fondue with cheddar

No one would ever let you have a good cry! D:

fondue with cheddar

@maybe partying will help How about Recompense Mills? Because when you say it aloud it sort of sounds like Recompense Smells.

Cawendaw

@maybe partying will help Or trying to have an intelligent discussion about drosophila genetics research with the name Flie-fornication?

BuffyBot

America Sparrow is just a great name, you guys.

Timmius

@BuffyBot
Flie-nierządu Andrewes? My na pewno nie odwoływać rozpusty w naszych imionach dla dzieci na tyle papiery wartościowe te dni. Parking-lot-nierząd Jones. Teenage-tłok-nierząd Smith. Small-penis-nierząd Johnson ..

dtowngirl

Flie-fornication Andrewes? We definitely don't reference fornication in our baby names enough these days. Parking-lot-fornication Jones. Teenage-crush-fornication Smith. Small-penis-fornication Johnson.

frigwiggin

God, Mercye is starting to look pretty good compared to Bigod or Safety-on-high.

fondue with cheddar

@frigwiggin Bigod reminds me of Bigus Dickus.

Jinxie

So after the "ways to play with toddlers" thread which convinced me that I would be a terrible and inattentive parent, I find myself swinging back towards "Maybe I SHOULD have kids" side if only so I can name my child Safety-on-high Snat or Recompense Mills.

Jinxie

And how has nobody commented on "Constant Wood"???? Is the joke just too obvious?

fondue with cheddar

@Jinxie Ancestor of the inventor of Viagra.

Cawendaw

@Jinxie The tricky thing is if she ever stayed anywhere for four hours straight people started calling the doctor.

mabellegueule

@Jinxie See above.

Also there's a Constant Semer!!

EpWs

@mabellegueule Constant Semen, you say?

RNL
RNL

Weep Not Billing is what the partners at my firm call me.

Joey

Shouldn't there be a facebook game where one can find out one's Puritan name? Answer all the questions, wait, and voila: Mehitable Burthen Springs!

fondue with cheddar

@Joey Facebook is a tool of the devil! Silence Carew!

Joey

Hezekiah Goode was caught using facebook and look what happened to her!

fondue with cheddar

Faint Not Wines sounds like the maker of low-proof grape spirits.

EpWs

@fondue with cheddar Renewed Wisberry is one of their varieties?

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Their best-selling dessert wine is More-fruit Stone.

Verity

"Desire Minter" sounds like a job title. Perhaps something in porn.

"So, what do you do?"

"Oh," seductively, "I'm a Desire Minter."

Verity

@Verity I am also sure that I heard "Safety-on-high Snat" in a Horrible Histories book (Terrible Tudors?) as a child, but it was Safely-on-high. Googling is bringing up both. Confused!

(They seem to have been from my neck of the woods, though, whatever the spelling. Oh, Sussex. http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~clifflamere/Aid/AID-PuritanNaming.htm)

mabellegueule

Can we make "Bigod Eggleston" the new thing to exclaim when you're frustrated or surprised?
"Bigod Eggleston! The milk's gone bad."
"Oh Bigod Eggleston! I didn't hear you come in!"

JanieS

... and Silence Carew is now the name of a New-Hampshire-based paranormal investigator in the urban horror-fantasy series I just invented.

SHE HAS DARK SECRETS.

Creature Cheeseman

These are my people

Decca

Hew-agag-in-pieces-before-the-Lord Robinson! Or "Sam" for short.

IceHouseLizzie

@Decca ***snort***

LacunaKale

I'm descended from more then one Absalom and Methabel. Yes, I am super white. Why do you ask?

Bittersweet

@LacunaKale My husband has an ancestress named Submit and I have one named Tolerance. On the XY side, Eliphalet, Chauncey, Wilton and Ezekiel. WASP city over here.

EpWs

Grad school acceptance letter time was a rough month for Accepted Trevor.

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Not as rough as it was for Small-hope Biggs.

Vera Knoop

Flie Fornication Andrewes is obviously a geneticist.

Anninyn

My mum is a genealogist, so she comes across loads of things like this.

Her favourite was a person called Happy (short for Hepzibah) Jolleye.

The saddest was a baby named 'called-by-god' who died three days later. Clearly at least one parent could tell what was going to happen.

StandardTuber

The modern-day equivalence would be hippie names. Like Cinnamon, Panda Bear, Superman The Aquarian, and Baby Girl. These are real people.

Inconceivable!

Smite-them-hip-and-thigh Smith

Smite whom, exactly???

Barry Grant

@Inconceivable!

Thine enemies, natch.

OwlOfDerision

I'm pretty sure I washed my face with Tryal Pore when I was a teenager.

Amelia Jones@facebook

Nicely presented information in this post, I prefer to read this kind of stuff. The quality of content is fine and the conclusion is excellent.
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Vera Knoop

@Amelia Jones@facebook Thine puritan name be Try Harder Amelia Jones Spamme Botte

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

I know that they're fictional names, but can we get a Baby Names: P.G. Wodehouse Characters Edition? Because I would really love to name a baby Gussy Fink-nottle or Barmy Fungi-Phipps or maybe even Pongo Twistleton.

PS. These lists are the best!

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