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Friday, January 25, 2013

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Yogurt for Lunch

It's been three months since yogurt last came up on this site, but fortunately yogurt scholars have unearthed a strange, ancient yogurt diary. Here's an excerpt:

"I was driven thence by foul winds for a space of 9 days upon the sea, but on the tenth day we reached the land of the Yogurt-eaters, who live on a food that comes from a kind of milk. Here we landed to take in fresh water, and our crews got their mid-day meal on the shore near the ships. When they had eaten and drunk I sent two of my company to see what manner of men the people of the place might be, and they had a third man under them. They started at once, and went about among the Yogurt-eaters, who did them no hurt, but gave them to eat of the yogurt, which was so delicious that those who ate of it left off caring about home, and did not even want to go back and say what had happened to them, but were for staying and munching yogurt with the Yogurt-eaters without thinking further of their return; nevertheless, though they wept bitterly I forced them back to the ships and made them fast under the benches. Then I told the rest to go on board at once, lest any of them should taste of the yogurt and leave off wanting to get home, so they took their places and smote the grey sea with their oars.¹"

Or, the life and ways of yogurt-eaters.

Tags:

food, yogurt



127 Comments / Post A Comment

Maryaed

Eating healthy shit correlated with eating other healthy shit in some cases, scientists say. Film at 11.

mattewmc

made my day :D@t

The Lady of Shalott

As a counterpoint to the idea that yogurt eaters eat more healthily,
I eat a ton of yogurt, and right now I am eating "lunch" of Cheetos and orange pop. (Or, to be more specific, Dole Sparklers Real Fruit Beverage with natural flavours, which was on sale this week.)

Bittersweet

@The Lady of Shalott As another counterpoint to the idea that yogurt eaters eat more healthily, I just ate a Stonyfield low-fat cherry vanilla yogurt...with a tablespoon of Nestle's chocolate chips in it.

breccia

@The Lady of Shalott yeah! i had an orange dinner last night! cheetos and an actual orange. if i had added orange-flavored yogurt would i become immortal?

hallelujah

@Bittersweet Yet another counterpoint: I just ate yogurt from McDonald's for breakfast. Conundrum!

Creature Cheeseman

@The Lady of Shalott Is it weird that when I eat cheetos or cheezits I prefer orange soda instead of brown?? Also, I do this often enough for it to have become a pattern, apparently.

Biketastrophy

@The Lady of Shalott I eat yogurt basically every day for breakfast. I had Mcdonalds for dinner last night and am going to get chinese buffet for lunch. I am countering that article so hard.

Megasus

@breccia I dunno, but the orange and mandarin Yoptimal yogurt is kind of the best flavour of yogurt ever.

Poubelle

@all I love yogurt and eat more McDonalds than I really should. (I do eat yogurt more than Mickey D's).

Also: get some vanilla yogurt, crumble some Oreos into it. BEST SNACK EVER. You know you've put enough Oreos in when the yogurt is more brown than white. I prefer to lick out the creamy center and only crumble in the cookie. Healthiest snack? probably not. Tastiest snack? It's in the running.

parallel-lines

YOGURT IS BULLSHIT.

C'mon. It is. It totally is. It's like, you have yogurt for breakfast and your stomach is like, "Hey...hey, I'm still hungry down here. Can you throw something more than some curdled bacteria into me?"

Also, are we talking that sugar laden Dannon "high fructose syrup on the bottom stuff" or are we taking about people who eat plain Fage 0%? Because obviously the latter set is healthy--can you see the shit their tastebuds can withstand? They could probably eat tree bark coated in wheat germ.

fruiting body

@parallel-lines Agreed. As far as I am concerned there are two kinds of yogurt: candy-replacement for people who want to feel good about themselves but still can't control their sugar addictions, and disgusting sludge eaten by people on diets. Sometimes they overlap and contain lots of unnatural chemicals!

Cat named Virtute

@parallel-lines Dear friend, I implore you to get your hands on some Librete Mediterranean full-fat lemon yoghurt, and then see how you feel. Throw in some blackberries and slivered almonds, and you've got yourself a fine breakfast.

parallel-lines

@Cat named Virtute I have eaten every yogurt known to man from every country across the world (Greece! Iceland! The Balkans! Switzerland! Egypt! Et al!) and I am afraid I am just not one of those "yogurt people". It does not appeal to my tastebuds, and no amount of add ins make it taste like anything more than what it is: sour gross fermented bacterial milk.

Strangely enough, there is always yogurt in my fridge as if I could will myself into liking it by mere proximity to foods I enjoy. Never seems to work.

Apparently that madmen John Harvey Kellogg (inventor of cereal and anti-masturbation enthusiast) was a huge fan of yogurt, both orally and anally: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yogurt

Biketastrophy

@parallel-lines I remember during a trip to central Europe there was a hostel that had yogurt (yoghurt) in the continental breakfast, and I got a bowl of it and was completely caught off guard by how sour it was. Absolutely no sugar in it at all. Wish we had some balance between that stuff and the overly sugared stuff in the US.

We probably do, but I refuse to pay more than 60 cents for a cup of yogurt. I just want cheap not sugar laden yogurt, is that too much to ask?

iceberg

@Biketastrophy Yes. American yog(h)urt is like candy compared to other countries.

aphrabean

@parallel-lines It is a testament to my love of yogurt and gross things that "sour gross fermented bacterial milk" made my stomach growl in anticipation.

damselfish

@parallel-lines I wonder if dousing my greek yogurt with agave nectar balances out the health factor, or if the hippiness of agave nectar brings it back up to healthy.

LBR, the only reason I use agave nectar is because I don't want to waste my delicious honey.

hahahaha, ja.

@Cat named Virtute: Full-fat yogurt is the best yogurt. It's like a socially acceptable alternative to eating whipped cream (which, full disclosure, I have totally eaten as a snack before). My friends are all tired of my being a Full-Fat Yogurt Evangelist.

Valley Girl

@hahahaha, ja. Yesterday I had yogurt with sugar-macerated strawberries for breakfast. Then for dessert last night I had blackberries with whipped cream. It occurred to me when I was eating the latter that maybe my breakfast nutritional standards needed to be raised a little bit.

Cat named Virtute

@parallel-lines Fair enough! My girlfriend is the same way about sour dairy. The face she made when I took out a tub of sour cream for taco night this week was this sad little horrified thing.

And I definitely never needed to read "yogurt" and "anally" in the same sentence. :-(((

rangiferina

@Cat named Virtute Liberté yogurt is the besssst. they sold it at one of the dining halls when I was in college and oh.my.god.

PistolPackinMama

@fruiting body Or fully fatty savory yogurty goodness that goes on food as a condiment. Mmmmmmm yogurt on lamb kebabs.

It's basically sour cream's different bacteria friend.

God I love full fat yogurt.

Stevie

@Biketastrophy I also want cheap, lower-sugar yogurt, but how? If I buy plain, I have to add stuff to it anyway to make it palatable. Let me know if you solve this problem! Also, I need fat-free or low-fat for my continual efforts to weigh less.

Cat named Virtute

@Stevie Well, there's your problem. Yoghurt is naturally full of fat, so any attempts to remove it are going to result in a product that is not very palatable and/or full of aspartame. You'd probably be better off looking for a different snack.

squishycat

@Cat named Virtute Really? Because I eat non-fat yogurt pretty much exclusively, and it is delicious and pretty much only contains fruit, honey, or a tiny bit of real sugar as sweetener. (Awesome breakfast - plain non-fat Greek yogurt, strawberries, honey, and cinnamon.)

Cat named Virtute

@squishycat That sounds DELICIOUS. But Stevie said they wanted low-sugar, and fruit, honey, and sugar all have, well, sugar. Plain low-fat yoghurt without anything else (fruit, honey, granola, etc) is just not gonna taste great to most people in the way that my beloved full fat Liberte lemon will. That said, I would take you up on all of those options.

tachycardia

@Biketastrophy Indian yogurt is pretty much fantastic. Natural and not super sour. I throw in some pecans, slivered almonds, and raisins.

Feminist Killjoy

@fruiting body but KEFIR!!!!

DoMark

I recently read Robinson Crusoe (why not?) and this Yogurt-eater diary could be cut out of the pages of Daniel Defoe's crazy brain. Muffled work-laughter. Thank you, Edith!

anachronistique

To the Women Laughing Alone with Salad first shalt thou come,
who beguile all men whosoever photographs them.
Whoso in ignorance draws near to them and hears the Salad-Eaters' laughter,
he nevermore returns, that his wife and little children may stand at his side rejoicing,
but the Women With Salad beguile him with their shrieking laughter,
as they sit in a meadow, and about them is a great pile of leaves
of mouldering lettuce, and round the salads the dressing is curdling.

PistolPackinMama

@anachronistique This here is what I love about the Pin.

katekari

You forgot to replace that last "lotus" in there, Edith. :)

j.a.b.

@katekari i was so excited to be the one to point this out

Lu2
Lu2

@j.a.b. Me three. :-\

mochi

@katekari i think it's there so people get the joke

Edith Zimmerman

@katekari Dohhhhhhh

caddie

Oh no, you missed one! In the last sentence. (Also, I had plain Greek yogurt with blackberry jam for breakfast, and it was amazing.)

SarahP

I like yogurt, but seeing the word that many times is grossing me out.

meetapossum

@SarahP Yogurt. Yogurt. Yoooogurt. Yogurrrrrrt. Yoooooguuuuurt.

SarahP

@meetapossum Noooooooooo

Miss Maszkerádi

@meetapossum That just started looking like something out of HP Lovecraft. *shudder.*

stuffisthings

Good thing they didn't wash up in the land of the Go-Gurt Eaters I guess.

PistolPackinMama

@stuffisthings ew. Oh.... eeew.

Angry Panda

My favourite snack is plain (slightly sour) salted yogurt with spicy potato chips. Yum! Also, the healthy shit balances the unhealthy shit, I like to believe.

iceberg

Yogurt for LUNCH? Honey, I eat it for breakfast and it's barely enough then! Then again I have to share mine with a swarm of children because what's mine is theirs... picture the seagulls from Finding Nemo, but with curly hair.

("stop talking about your damn kids, iceberg")

Anyway add some damn carbs to your diet.

aphrabean

@iceberg I eat plain yogurt for lunch an embarrassingly large percentage of the time (because of laziness) with a large helping of high-protein granola - lots of nuts and puffed amaranth and chopped dried fruit. It actually is really filling, but I need that granola or I'm hungry again in an hour.

highfivesforall

@iceberg Do not stop talking about your kids. I love that you just made me imagine curly haired seagulls.

Judith Slutler

@aphrabean Yeah, that's what carbs are for!

I like to make a small bowl of oatmeal and then dump a ton of yogurt on top...

smidge

@iceberg Never stop talking about your damn kids, Bergie.

EpWs

@iceberg I'm picturing the triplets from Brave, but yelling MINE? a la the seagulls. It is delightful.

iceberg

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher EXACTLY, oh this is much more accurate.

PistolPackinMama

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Exactly- this is exactly what I was thinking.

cuminafterall

Every once in a while I see those ads that are like "Boston Cream-flavored Yoplait, your daily indulgence" and I contemplate how sad one's life must be for nonfat yogurt to be the best thing about it.

Full-fat yogurt, on the other hand, is a different story. Pequea Valley Farms black cherry yogurt belongs in the Pantheon of food.

iceberg

@cuminafterall Is this where we can talk about how those cake flavored yoghurts are just an insulting tool of the patriarchy because just eat some fucking cake and live a little?

Faintly Macabre

@cuminafterall Pequea Valley Farms yogurt is one of the best foods on earth. The maple and blueberry are also amazing!

I haaaaaaaate those ads that have the woman talking on the phone about all the desserts she's eaten, and her husband/boyfriend runs excitedly to the fridge, only to find it full of yogurt. Ugh, if you hate dieting and/or yogurt so much that you have to eat that maybe you should just eat real desserts and some spinach!

Faintly Macabre

@anachronistique I love her! She's how I think (incorrectly) I sound every time I obnoxiously make fun of stuff on TV. Where did she go?

Lisa Frank

Fage > Chobani. Fact!

aphrabean

@Lisa Frank Chobani is what I get when I run out of the good stuff and I go to the shi-shi little store around the corner that for some unfathomable reason only stocks Chobani. I eat it, but I'm not happy about it.

baked bean

@Lisa Frank Every time I buy Chobani it's curdled. Is this normal?

FAGE IS AMAZING. I upgraded to 2% fat when I found it at the other grocery store. It's so much better! And still low cal/fat/whatever if you care about that. As soon as I find it in full fat, I will be ALL OVER THAT SHIT.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

If you like Yogurt, wait til you meet Kefir, Yogurt's slightly pretentious, but charming older cousin.

aphrabean

My love of yogurt is such that I make my own - vats of it. It grosses my gentleman associate out even more than regular yogurt, (I don't blame him) but oh my god, I would swim in it if I could. The more fermented and sour, the better. And whole fat! Whole fat ALWAYS.

Biketastrophy

@aphrabean ..Make your own? Are there ways to do this without killing yourself due to some horrible strain of bacteria that wasn't supposed to get in there?

iceberg

@Biketastrophy yes, I want to know about this too!

Poubelle

@aphrabean One of the reasons I love Fage* Greek yogurt is it is SO easy to find the whole milk version.

*really wanted to type faya, then I almost typed Faygo, which I guess would fit in with the orange pop discussion upthread.

aphrabean

@Biketastrophy Well, I think with due diligence (sterilize your containers, etc) it's just fine. I haven't gotten sick yet, and I am pretty paranoid about that stuff. (For example, I wouldn't touch home-brewed kombucha with a ten foot pole.) This is the recipe I started with, except I now use whole milk & skip the powdered milk, and instead of using a yogurt maker, I use the heat from the pilot light on my gas oven.

aphrabean

@Biketastrophy Ok, here's a less persnickety recipe. I also like to strain mine so it's thicker, like greek yogurt.

PistolPackinMama

@aphrabean Yeah, I basically just dump a 1/2 cup of greek yogurt in a quart of whole milk I've heated to scalding, let cool to the temp where I can stick my finger in it for 10 seconds, wrap the pan in towels, stick it in my oven with the oven light on and let it sit till it's as thick as I like (8hrs or so). Store in tupperware I've rinsed in the hottest dishwasher setting... KAPOW... yogurt.

aphrabean

@PistolPackinMama It's kind of like magic! Oh, man, I'm going home to make a batch tonight.

Faintly Macabre

@Biketastrophy In France, they even sell little packets of yogurt culture in the grocery store! But I have no oven, so I haven't been able to try them out.

aphrabean

@Faintly Macabre If you don't have an oven, you could make some creme fraiche! Not the same, but it does have its own delightful tang, and you don't need any special equipment, just buttermilk and heavy cream. I put mine on top of the fridge for 8 hours, and then refrigerate it. HA! I guess I didn't realize I had so many feelings about fermented dairy until this moment.

Faintly Macabre

@aphrabean I've tried that before! But it didn't really work out--it was still liquidy and normal-cream-y. (I think I needed it for a recipe, though, so it didn't matter much.) I'm living in France at the moment, though, where creme fraiche is super-cheap. But because life is so expensive here, I can't afford an apartment with an oven, so I can't make most of the things I'd put creme fraiche on! A bit of a catch-22. But yogurt and fromage blanc are super-cheap, so I gorge myself on that.

This is my new username

@aphrabean I feel like there are options to make yogurt using a slowcooker as well? I feel like the internet told me that once? I am too lazy to google it at the moment though.

Sunny Schomaker

@Faintly Macabre Creme fraiche! One of the reasons I gain weight in France. (see also: bread, wine, cheese, patisseries)

Verity

@Faintly Macabre Creme fraiche goes on everything. To hell with needing an oven!

Faintly Macabre

@Verity Can I put creme fraiche on cheese? Oh, wait, French people already do. Can I put it on yogurt?

frigwiggin

Man, if you have to munch your yogurt, you better check that expiry date.

planforamiracle

I too ate yogurt for breakfast. Plain, full-fat, with some granola and big blog of peach preserves. mmm.

As I was scooping it out of the plastic container with a spatula to get the last smidges out, I was reminded that I LOVE the British pronunciation, short-O "YOGG-urt" and its accompanying term "YOGG-urt pot" meaning the plastic tub that yogurt comes in. Never fails to make me chuckle..

purefog

My dog (see avatar) LOVES yogurt, and one of her favorite things is to be given an "empty" plastic quart container. "Yogurt-face" and general hilarity ensues.

Miss Maszkerádi

I've long happily accepted the Bulgarian folk truism that said Bulgarian peasants, who apparently eat the most yogurt per capita in the world, live longer than their neighbors in the region as a result.
And I like yogurt.
The problem is, I end up thinking "man, I eat good yogurt like three times a week, I'm covered" and then, assuming I am now impervious to all unhealthiness, proceed to drift right back to my usual Austro-Hungarian culinary preferences. SAUSAGE AND BEER AND HALUŠKY AND GOULASH OH MY.

maybe partying will help

Bless the Pin for giving me these kernels of things to feel smug about.

squishycat

...oh god now I desperately want not just yogurt (because I have plenty in the fridge), but to make a delicious tagine or other middle-eastern dish and eat it with yogurt sauce. Like, right now. Of course I have no ingredients and neither my boyfriend nor I will be home for dinner, so that's not going to happen.

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[T]hen roll up a yoga mat and travel on till you come to a race that knows nothing of the juice fast, that eat no spirulina with their food, and have never heard of zumba, or the well-shaped mason jars that carry salads. And let this be your sign, you cannot miss it: that meeting another traveller he will say you carry a pool noodle on your broad shoulder. There you must plant your yoga mat on the ground, and make rich sacrifice to Lord Poseidon, a ram, a bull, and a breeding-boar. Then leave for home, and make sacred offerings there to the deathless gods who hold the wide heavens, to all of them, and in their due order.

murrjohn987

I guess I am the only one who is affected by this, but anytime I eat something as light as yogurt for a meal replacement around the hours of lunch, I always get a terrible stomach ache. Does this not happen to anyone else?

This is pretty much why I eat whatever I want, and just workout(playing basketball to be specific) and that way I can keep the extra pounds off. Nothing like putting on a pair of my favorite nike basketball socks and sneakers, and going out on the court to shed some calories.

I am curious to see if I am the only one who feels this way about having yogurt for lunch. Let me know. Thanks.

DDIG1985

I love yogurt! It's the perfect snack because it's cheap, healthy and comes in a lot of flavors so you don't get too tired of it quick. Being on a budget like me I take it work and eat it during my break from my janitorial service work. Stick to yogurt people for an affordable snack that's not a health hazard!

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