Thursday, January 10, 2013


Unreleased Celebrity Fragrances

27th Precinct by Jerry Orbach: Notes of pepperoni and shoe polish on an instant coffee base. Leathery, minimal, and cost-effective, this fragrance feels like a big, crusty hug, and is perfect for those stressful mornings when you don’t want to get out of bed.

Wool of the King by Lana Del Rey: Imitation gold is overwhelmed by corrosive notes of Mountain Dew, gas station bathroom hand sanitizer, and chlorine. Spritz it on your angora sweaters, your dogeared copy of Lolita, or your money!

Sherlocked by Benedict Cumberbatch: Notes of the finest bergamot and saffron mingle with the overpowering aromas of black tea, gunpowder, and clammy bedsheets, in a fragrance that works best when applied to the nape of the neck and shielded from cold air by a fashionable scarf. May incite homosexual urges, in both the wearer and those immediately around him.

Steve Buscemi Eyes by Steve Buscemi: Notes of menthol and ylang ylang on a whiskey base. Banned in Utah. 

Endearment by Shirley MacLaine: Bourbon-infused sage leaves blend with the subtle sweetness of expired lipstick and Book That’s Been In The Bedroom of An Incense Enthusiast For Too Long.

Mule Variation by Tom Waits: Animalic, with notes of honey, overripe orange peels, and improperly cured game meats. Caution: may burn through the skin if applied too liberally.

Goldbloom by Jeff Goldblum: This fragrance, meant to be drizzled down the wearer’s forearm (preferably while in a moving car) is redolent of warm eyeglasses, tanning oil, and Velociraptor musk. Perfect for work or leisure.

Winsome Integrity by Jon Stewart: Notes of caraway seeds and ballpoint pen ink on a Just for Men base. A trustworthy, nonthreateningly sensual fragrance, the perfect complement to an imitation-leather messenger bag or a book-shaped iPad cover.

Fair Child by Morgan Fairchild: This very special perfume is composed of pure diamond dust mixed with heavy cream and crushed freesia petals. Can also be used as foundation.

Wintour Harvest by Anna Wintour: Peppery, balsamic, indecisive, and fresh. Notes of warm blood and Galliano Sequin enliven this fragrance designed for the gal on the go.

Fryday I’m in Love by Stephen Fry: Well-worn corduroy mixes with notes of mahogany, pear brandy, and stilton in this comfortable, woody blend. Perfect to wear while reading Dickens or lecturing friends on Salic law. Caution: will make the wearer almost unbearably delightful.

Acedia by Louis CK: Sweat, sweat, sweat! If you suffer from excessive dryness, this fragrance is for you. Armpit sweat, groin sweat, neck sweat, and top of head sweat on a base of Cinnabon frosting combine in a mélange of mysterious, depression-inducing sensuality that’s sure to make you the belle of the ball.

Go for the Gold! by Tonya Harding: Notes of Aquanet and Revlon quick-dry nail polish in Velvet Rope mingle over a base of Flammable Leotard and Unladylike Perspiration. A perfume that gives you the courage to go for your dreams, and then to ignore all the bad publicity your courage inspires. Can also be used to style bangs.

Sarah Marshall's writing has recently appeared on the Order of the Good Death and the Collagist. She would give her right arm to smell like Tom Waits.

83 Comments / Post A Comment


this is so perfect i have nothing to add except my love


@iceberg can you do one for Robert Downey Jr please


@iceberg Right? These are so on-point it hurts.


@iceberg SO PERFECT.


@iceberg Robert Downey Jr: beard clippings, pomade, roasted meats and sex, with mild top notes of smugness. <3 u RDJ


@iceberg yes, i hope you can to do. harga emas hari ini


@lora.bee hahaha, yeah that's so perfect! kabar berita harian terkini


excellent. thank you! @j


"Fryday I'm in Love"???

I was clapping like I'd just seen a Shakespeare production after reading that.


@yrouttasight I think I'd wear that one.


@yrouttasight me tooooo. I love Stephen Fry so, so much.


It is indicative of my intense Cumberbatch crushing that I kind of actually really want to smell that. Wear that. Watch whatever happens around that. Sorry, am I on Tumblr? Fangirling.


@AmandathePanda I may have growled at my computer.


@AmandathePanda Pardon the spamming, but YOU CAN HAZ. I have bought this and adore it.




@arlette Perfect.

@PatatasBravas I cannot with your avatar. The hotness. It distracts me.


@AmandathePanda I'm not sure whether I would actually like the smell or just the fact that it's Sherlock. Oh, well, either way.


I'm kind of freaked out, because the Shirley MacLaine one is pretty much exactly what I smelled like while prepping thanksgiving dinner.

(The most private thing I'm willing to admit is...."I kind of like the smell of burning incense.")


@leon s Whoa, pump your brakes. There are people who won't admit to kind of liking the smell of burning incense? I am not friends with any of these alleged people.

Anne Helen Petersen

BEST use of redolent I've ever seen

cashmere velvet candy cane

Oh man, Sherlocked. I would wear that, honestly (except for...clammy bedsheets? do not want). My look for 2013 is basically the female version of Sherlock (coat collar turned up, scarf, occasionally showing up to places covered in blood). I have heard on good authority that it's making my Sherlock-watching lady friends confusingly attracted to me, so I obviously need this perfume to seal the deal.

Chareth Cutestory

@cashmere velvet candy cane My friend calls this style She-lock.


@cashmere velvet candy cane Also I don't believe that Sherlock Holmes allows clammy bedsheets. I like to think he is fastitidious in that one way, and has them changed every day.

cashmere velvet candy cane

@Megano! Agreed! He has to keep his sheets clean for when he wears them out of the house, obviously. Never know who you're gonna run into.


I love all of you and you are all right about everything. The sheet smell, the outfit, the word She-lock. I need to be good friends with all of you immediately.

Nicole Cliffe

I almost joined Pinterest just to have another form of social media to share this on.


I'm pretty sure you can buy Fair Child at LUSH.


The Tom Waits one is absolute perfection, surrounded by other perfections.


...can't stop laughing about the dogeared copy of Lolita and the cinnabon joke and the Steve Buscemi Eyes, ahhhhhh where is my oxygen, come back air!

Beatrix Kiddo

@PatatasBravas The Louis CK one slays me.



Who wouldn't want to smell like a learned Englishman?

Lili B.

@JanieS I swear anyone who smells of bergamot jumps 1000x up my bang list.


@Lili B. I wanted to like this several times. Can Sherlocked exist?


@Lili B. I have bergamot scented body butter and the idea that this makes me smell like Sherlock makes me like myself so much more.


This is...so wonderful, I just keep looking to my left and right, wondering who I can possibly share this with right this second.


the only thing i dislike about this is that i did not come up with it omfg


I need to know what the James Franco one smells like.


@PatatasBravas Upscale libraries, macaroni and cheese, wildflowers, and weed.


@PatatasBravas My exact question when I saw this.

Chareth Cutestory

I can practically smell Jon Stewart right now.


From work-induced tears to maniacal laughter in one post. I love this place

Kevin Knox

(I would totally wear the Shirley Maclaine one.)


I would marry the shit out of a guy wearing Sherlocked


@cosmia Totes snorted. THIS IS TRUTH.


@cosmia WORD.




Jason Statham: Top notes of burned tire rubber. The scent of jeans that have been worn for three days marinates in base notes of distilled pheromones.


This is probably the most press Morgan Fairchild has seen in decades.


Best thing I have read all week!


the Shirley Maclaine one I actually really want to own and wear and smell like. incense-y books, bourbon, sage?! yes please!

Harriet Kierkegaard@facebook

Perfection. And thank you for opening with Jerry Orbach.

incense and cookies

This is wonderful! I'd buy the Tom Waits and possibly the MacLaine. And given my username, I too, like the incense.

By the way, while not quite the one described above, there is a Sherlock perfume here: http://www.etsy.com/listing/109073908/perfume-oil-bottle-small-sherlock


I would totally wear Steve Buscemi

Prescription Pants

This is my favorite thing on the 'pin this week. Really really. Plus? I can't even express how relieved I am to know I'm not the only one who wonders what Tom Waits smells like.


I passed by Steve Buscemi once while at SXSW. The only thing I remember is he smelled very strongly of cheap smelling cologne and was dressed in all denim from head to toe in the 90+ dry Austin heat. Oh and he was whistling to himself–seemed like a real happy camper.


Really happy to see the Hairpin linked to on kottke.org!

James Walker

This fragrance, meant to be drizzled down the wearer’s forearm (preferably while in a moving car) is redolent of warm eyeglasses, tanning oil, and Velociraptor musk. Perfect for work or leisure bestessays au reviews


Excellent post. I want to thank you for this informative read I really appreciate sharing this great post. Keep up your work. counseling degree


This very special perfume is composed of pure diamond dust mixed with heavy cream and crushed freesia petals. Can also be used as foundation. used office furniture albuquerque

bryan low@twitter

Lush Acres EC will be accessible with Kupang LRT Station as well as Sengkang Bus Interchange. It is also right beside Tampines Expressway(TPE). Lush Acres EC is also near to Marina Country Club, Sengkang Riverside Park and Sheng Siong hypermart in Punggol Central.
Fernvale EC


I would always wonder if the fragrances most of these celebrities sells what is actually their profit after their promoter takes their share? Nikon 1 j3

Kensington Square

Skypark Residences is a 99-years leasehold Sembawang EC development located at Sembawang Crescent / Sembawang Drive in District 26. With expected completion in mid 2016, it comprises of 9 towers with 502 units and stands 15 storeys tall. It is a short walk away from Sembawang MRT Station.
Skypark Residences Project Details


I want you to thank for your time of this wonderful read!!! I definately enjoy every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff of your blog a must read blog.This is cool post and i enjoy to read this post. your blog is fantastic and you have good staff in your blog. nice sharing keep it up

Ricky Somekh

dan johnson

Cakes and Pastries-How to Order Online
Are you looking for a pastry delivery online shop with affordable and mouth-watering cakes?
Worry no more because there’s one store that has it all.

Dubai Cakes Online


Animalic, with notes of honey, overripe orange peels, and improperly cured game meats. Caution: may burn through the skin if applied too liberally. up essencias


You should comment on the competition comparison of the blog. You can highlight it's mind boggling. Your blog exploration/tour will broaden your conversions. Agen Bola


Pornography will be distributed over the Internet in plenty of methods, including paysites , video hosting services , and peer-to-peer file sharing While pornography had been traded electronically because the 1980s, it was within the invention of the World Extensive Internet in 1991 as well as the opening of the Web porn video to the general public around the same time that led to an explosion in online pornography. A number of proposals have been made to manage the pornographic film industry to further scale back the risk of an infection, together with most lately the passage of Measure B in Los Angeles County, California See additionally edit


It’s hard to find knowledgeable people on this topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks madeira palsticak8


I have recently started a blog, the info you provide on this site has helped me greatly. Thanks  for all of your time & work.  
interview podcasts


You could comment on the features of the blog. You may file it's nifty. Your blog experiment would raise your jv partners.
high quality mp3

Shahbaz Shahbaz@facebook

My spouse and i had been pretty pleased to find this website. I desired for you to thanks a lot for this wonderful understand!! My spouse and i surely What is apple passbook enjoying each little this as well as I've an individual added to view completely new stuff an individual post.


Such a very useful article. Very interesting to read this article. I would like to thank you for the efforts you had made for writing this awesome article. vintage home decor

its me

This is a great post and also has lots of advantage.
driver resetter


This web site is really a walk-through for all of the info you wanted about this and didn’t know who to ask. Glimpse here, and you’ll definitely discover it
Project Management Solution


This is nice post which I was awaiting for such an artice and I have gained some useful information from this site. Thanks for sharing this information
bubblegum casting


Wonderful site. Lots of useful information here. I'm sending it to some pals ans additionally sharing in delicious. And obviously vigrx plus coupon code


You actually make it seem so easy along with your presentation but I to find this topic to be actually one thing which I feel I might by no means understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I am having a look ahead in your subsequent submit vigrx ingredients


Thank you very much for taking time to share this wonderful post which has helped many of us. I actually read it thrice as I liked it very much. Your concept is finest among all the blogs u have made before.

Banquets Hall

Elaine Jones@facebook

I thought it was going to be some boring old post, but it really compensated for my time. I will post a link to this page on my blog. I am sure my visitors will locate that extremely useful...
grosir baju murah


i like the way to write the article and reply the comment. Here is the hot list of Poonam Pandey Hot pics


Perfect article. Excited to red :) Thanks alot for sharing.
Free Fruit Ninja On PC and Laptop (Windows 7,XP,8)

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account