Wednesday, January 30, 2013


Sex vs. Happiness

"Men who do more household chores typically viewed as feminine — like cleaning, cooking and washing — have less sex than men who don't, according to a new study."

Oh, New Study. How are things with Mrs. New Study?


sex, cleaning

95 Comments / Post A Comment


Gosh, could've sworn there was just a study finding the exact opposite.


No shit, right?
Though stats are so malleable; I wouldn't be surprised if both are true. With all the other variables and nuances of relationships...
Wouldn't it make sense that a more established, long term, co-habitating relationship would involve a more equal distribution of chores, as well as the typical decline in rip-your-clothes-off-and-fuck-against-a-wall sex?
Not that I speak from personal experience or anything. Nope. Not this gal.

fondue with cheddar

@annejumps@twitter Yeah, but this one was funded by the Patriarchy.


@NeverOddOrEven "stats are so malleable"

I wouldn't be surprised if both used the same data.


You mean Porn for Women LIED to us?

(nb: this is not an endorsement of that book, but the joke had to be made)

Atheist Watermelon

this makes me feel too much rage for a Tuesday morning...

Angry Panda

@Didldidi Will knowing it's actually Wednesday make you feel better or worse?

Atheist Watermelon

@Angry Panda BAHAHHAHAA!!! Oh, it is, isn't it... whoops

Atheist Watermelon

@Angry Panda in that case, it's par for the course for a Wednesday ;-)

Angry Panda

@Didldidi :-) I had to check the calender myself to make sure it wasn't Tuesday. But only two days to the weekend, yay!


@Angry Panda I thought it was Thursday and was looking forward to tomorrow being Friday :(

Angry Panda

@Slutface There, there. Soon it will be Friday.


NOPE. Nope, nope, nope. NOPE.

Judith Slutler

Well this study IN MY PANTS says different!


@Emmanuelle Cunt. Pants studies have greater authority, I say.

sarah girl

I hate everything.


I've done a long-term study, and I have concluded men who refer to mopping & not being disgusting as "feminine chores" have less sex than guys who shut the fuck up and help out once in a while for christ's sake, you live here too you know, I wasn't the only one tracking mud in here and I don't see why I should be the only one cleaning it.


Also, I read a new study saying that one in twenty studies using the standard 95-percent confidence interval may be reporting false results!


well then I must be the only woman who can't have sex with a guy if his apartment is a shithole.

Ishmaeline of Domesticity

@Slutface "Oh baby, your dust bunnies and moldy dishes are getting me soo hoooot."


The cleaner a dude's room, the more I want to mess it up with my clothes.


I call bullshit, cuz the data was collected from 1992-94 and the average age of the sample was around 45. OF COURSE that's the finding you're going to get! Totally different generation.


@Megano! University of Washington's website is where I got those little tidbits: http://www.washington.edu/news/2013/01/29/more-sex-for-married-couples-with-traditional-divisions-of-housework/


"Brines says that it is unlikely that the division of housework – which did not include child care in this study – and sex have changed much since then."

Why would she think that?

Kudos to you for digging into this!

dj pomegranate

Maybe they have less sex, but the sex is BETTER...?


@dj pomegranate - mostly just because they're not rolling over onto empty bags of funyuns.

New Hoarder

From my own personal case study with Mr. (non-)Hoarder, I have obtained data that reflects the exact opposite of these findings.


@New Hoarder It's crazy how much more sex drive I have when I'm not seething with resentment!

Jolie Kerr



@Jolie Kerr I bet you do. Also YAY!

Jolie Kerr

@bowtiesarecool Aww thanks lady. I've already made so many LISTS.


@Jolie Kerr Lists! I have the spreadsheets to end all spreadsheets (seriously, we interviewed a coordinator this weekend and she couldn't fathom WHY I was bothering to hire her. One worksheet is called "Checklist of Doom") in Google Docs. Let me know if you'd like a copy so that you too can be compulsively organized/alienate your loved ones.


@bowtiesarecool YAY? What yay? IS JOLIE ENGAGED? WHAT HAVE I MISSED?


@Jolie Kerr CONGRATULATIONS to the Clean Couple!


@Jolie Kerr :D :D :D :D Congratulations, how clean!


One of the main reasons that my boyfriend and I haven't discussed moving in together is that I am disgusting, and he's made his bed in 2013. I make up for it by cooking him dinner, which he washes the dishes after, and buys the ingredie- aahhhhhh, my only excuse is I'm a demon in the sack


@Nutmeg Also this one time I bought him two bottles of La Fin du Monde so we're even now

does it need saying

@Nutmeg I think sack-demon totally makes up for it ;)


@Nutmeg That is some good-ass beer, so you're probably fine. Also, I read somewhere that it's either Tegan or Sara's favourite (I can't remember which, so I guess you can take away my Queer Chick card now).


@does it need saying God, I hope so.

dj pomegranate

"Those who did none of the core tasks had sex about 1.5 times more a month compared with households where men did all of the daily chores."

mr. pomegranate and I have definitely had .5 sex before.


@dj pomegranat Seriously though, I was just about to post that sentence.

Do they mean that in couples where men don't do any chores, there are 1.5 more occurences of sex? Because even if that's true, I would be MUCH happier having sex 1.5 times less a month if that meant the marriage was a happier one (which, by the by, this study says that "egalitarian" marriages are).


@dj pomegranate The .5 is when you start with fun-times and then the baby cries, or the dog/cat jumps on the bed, or someone rolls over and hurts themselves on that bag of Funyuns that Leon mentioned upthread.


@wee_ramekin Right? The 1.5 times I miss out on sex it must be because HE is emptying the dishwasher.

fondue with cheddar

Maybe he should try cooking dinner in just the apron with nothing underneath.

A. Louise

@fondue with cheddar I have dropped so many hints to this effect for Valentine's Day to my boyfriend. Forget flowers. I want to objectify you while you make me a 5 course meal. (Too much? Probably too much.)

fondue with cheddar

@A. Louise You could tell him you want him to make a 5 course meal (or maybe 4) where the last course is him?

A. Louise

@fondue with cheddar I told him the last course should just be nutella and whipped cream, but then he said it was the big surprise and muttered about some complicated dessert thing he's never made before.

Either way, after 4-5 courses of food and wine I'll be passed out, so I guess it doesn't matter. I am the best at romance and seduction!

fondue with cheddar

@A. Louise Yeah, I can never have post-dinner sex either.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@A. Louise "LET ME OBJECTIFY U!" (I can't stop making up sexts, per the other article.)

A. Louise

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose "RU DTF while the vegetables finish braising?"

(It's a great Hairpin day, for sure!)

New Hoarder

@fondue with cheddar Former chef husband has denied this request multiple times for fear of an oil burn on his thingum. Him cooking in boxers + flowery apron I made in 7th grade will do *just fine*.

fondue with cheddar

@New Hoarder Ouch. Oil burn would be the worst case scenario, but at best you could end up with a pube problem. What do nudists do when they cook? Do they make wiener hair nets?


@fondue with cheddar How tall do you have to be before pubes dropping into food is a problem?

and for that matter who's apron doesn't cover their dick? or is thingum some other part of the anatomy?

fondue with cheddar

@Onymous I was thinking about those who don't own/wear an apron. And it's been my experience that pubes are magical and can end up anywhere, regardless of proximity to the genitals.


@fondue with cheddar I am laughing immoderately at wiener hair nets. Why are your nethers so blurry? Oh. Wiener hair net.

fondue with cheddar

@par_parenthese With the penis all curled up like a hairnetted ponytail.


@fondue with cheddar That visual is hilarious/awful.

fondue with cheddar

@owlegg Yeah, I don't know if I would want to see it or not, but I sort of want it to exist.

I do like that zombie squirrel taxidermy, though.


@fondue with cheddar OMG, I'm dying. This is amazing.

fondue with cheddar

@packedsuitcase CHECK THIS OUT you won't be disappointed. Not for the faint of heart, obviously, but amazing. There's a griffin made from a cat and a bird! And it looks totally real.

fondue with cheddar

Also, it's funny that the picture used to illustrate this post was a hand vac, because I was just thinking last night about how I need to buy a new hand vac because my last boyfriend (who lived with me) refused to take the brush attachment off the vac before vacuuming around the litterbox, so the brush had all this clay litter embedded in it, making it unfit to vacuum the furniture, so when we broke up I just let him keep it. SORRY LONG SENTENCE

Nicole Cliffe

A dealbreaker I did not even know I had. What a glorious morning!


"The findings are taken from a 20-year-old U.S. data set" - as @Megano says above, utterly irrelevant to the average Pinner's experience and certainly not "new".


@iceberg yeah, how many of that set live in college housing or with their parents? and are sleeping with girls who seriously don't give a fuck about that at this point in their lives? cause, you know, i'm gonna say 'most'.


@itiresias No, like the data itself is 20 years old. So, this study is from the early nineties and the participants were middle-aged. So really, this is about what modern 65-year-olds were doing when they were 45.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

As the less-inclined-to-clean-everything-every-day half of my current partnership, I can tell you that cleaning when the other person doesn't think you will has wondrous effects on their amorous intentions. This study is bullshit.


Note to dudes: If a lady is coming over who you want to be naked with, wash your dishes and straighten up the place. Most importantly clean your bathroom, especially your trimmed beard hairs covering the sink. They hate the beard hairs on the sink, just wet some TP and wipe them up right before she gets there so you don't have time to trim more face hairs. Actually, you should do this if anyone is coming over, and maybe even for yourself.

fondue with cheddar

@whizz_dumb Also, and perhaps more importantly, do this with the hair that collects between the toilet seat and tank. I don't about you, but that area gets pretty grody in my house.


@fondue with cheddar Yes, that is a problem area. Maybe the most problematic surface ever.

Homestar Runner

@whizz_dumb I am not a crazy person* but I started vacuuming my bathroom before scrubbing it, and everything is wonderful now. Once you get up all the short hairs, long hairs, and mysterious bathroom dust, wiping down surfaces and scrubbing is 90% less frustrating and disgusting. I just put the hose attachment alllll in the corners and crevices (innuendo!). It makes the biggest difference in that crease between the toilet seat and tank.

*Lies. I am a crazy person.

fondue with cheddar

@whizz_dumb Unless you remove the entire lid, it's so hard to clean well because of all the crevices. Someone needs to invent a toilet that doesn't have that problem.

@Homestar Runner You're so crazy you must have gone to Crazy Go Nuts University! No, actually you're brilliant. It's a great idea! Bathroom cleaning skeeves me out so much. Anything that makes it easier or less gross is okay in my book.


@Homestar Runner I have a vacuum! I can and will do this. Because yes, a wet rag just plasters hair to the ceramic and pushes it around--and THAT makes ME a CRAZY PERSON. Makes so much sense, can't wait to try your extremely sensible and sane suggestion. This has turned into A Clean Person thread.

fondue with cheddar

@whizz_dumb Someday when I am rich I will install a vacuum all around the baseboards in my bathroom, so that every time I turn on the fan for ventilation it will also suck all the hair off the floor.


@fondue with cheddar Striving, and sometimes fighting, wondering what the Dumple is... Excellence, and ...what is valor? And the Cheat will hit stuff with a golf club!


@whizz_dumb Pro tip: make sure all surfaces are dry (before or very long after everyone is showered) and all the hair/other stuff will come up way more easily than if all surfaces are covered in condensation/water splatter. Also, nothing goes mouldy in your vacuum that way.


this is patently false. just yesterday, upon discovering that my boyfriend had cleaned the bathroom (when I said that I would! and when we had just talked about doing more around the house!) I immediately thought, I'd like to blow him right when he gets home...

Later, he smiled wryly and told me, "I'm not a dog."


@MadKey Regardless of species, positive reinforcement is the way to go! ;))

Claire Zulkey@twitter

Yeah, but who are these non-chore-doing-asses having sex *with*?

fondue with cheddar

@Claire Zulkey@twitter Their Cheeto-stained hands?

Princess Slaya

"Gager has looked at the same data set and found that when tasks aren't segregated into "male" or "female" chores, men who do more housework tend to have sex more often."

And there it is, folks.


I just love that this study is being written up and disseminated with the headline "Want To Have More Sex? Stop Helping With The Chores." No joke.


Dude, I went over my new guy's house the other night and he was - hang on - IRONING HIS CLOTHES for the next day. It took all my willpower not to grab that iron out of his hands and mount him, but, you know, fire hazard.

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