Quantcast

Thursday, January 10, 2013

97

If The Times Can Talk About Lindsay, So Can I

"A few tables away, a distinguished-looking middle-aged man patiently waits for the actress. He has a stack of presents for her."
So ends the first paragraph of this week's New York Times Magazine feature, "Here Is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan in Your Movie." I've been sitting here trying to think of a less crass/more nuanced way of describing what I'm feeling, but I can't: this article is seriously almost giving me an orgasm.



97 Comments / Post A Comment

PatatasBravas

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS ARTICLE

EVERYTHING

PatatasBravas

Schrader, Pope and Lohan talk details. The film, “The Canyons,” has a microbudget, maybe $250,000. Ellis, Pope and Schrader are putting up $30,000 apiece. The rest will be raised on Kickstarter with promises of cameos, script reviews and — for the low, low price of $10,000 — the money clip that Robert DeNiro gave Schrader on the set of “Taxi Driver.”

THE USE OF KICKSTARTER!

Jane Marie

@PatatasBravas I mean! It's pure gold.

PatatasBravas

Bret Easton Ellis being an asshat, waging twitter wars!

The director promising Lohan he won't sleep with her!

THIS: "Lohan was trying to put her pixieish Disney days behind her and thought the Courtney Love approach made her look hip."

PatatasBravas

I am losing my shit reading and re-reading this.

Mariajoseh

@PatatasBravas yes, Lindsay, because the drugs and the jail and EVERYTHING ELSE IN YOUR LIFE have not put your Disney days behind you.

PatatasBravas

Between takes, she listened to Ryan Adams’s cover of “Wonderwall.”

THIS ARTICLE CAN'T BE TAMED

Judith Slutler

@PatatasBravas

“Well, I’ve got a lot of experience with that from my dad.”

... oh gurl :/

cinnamonskin

@Emmanuelle Cunt That is layers and layers of OH GURL.

Jennifer Culp

@PatatasBravas The next time I want to ditch something for hangover-related complications, I'm claiming "the Lady Gaga flu."

LMac

@cinnamonskin La Lohan should just legally change her name to OH GURL. Save us all a lot of time.

cinnamonskin

@LMac seriously, it's like Inception. How many layers of OH GURL can there be? And do we want to know?

jhonsons

Impressive...@j

olivia

Also I've heard that James Deen is the hottest. FROM A FRIEND.

PatatasBravas

from the article: "He told me that his lawyer, a bearded Gandalfian figure, was one of his best friends."

my entire being has condensed into: !

meetapossum

@PatatasBravas I left the article with a sense of "Awww, James Deen."

PatatasBravas

@meetapossum Go James Deen go! Son of rocket scientists, friend of Gandalf, loney and attractive young upstanding citizen: JAMES DEEN.

meetapossum

@PatatasBravas He filmed a scene in the bathroom of the bar that I frequent. Two degrees from James Deen?

stonefruit

@olivia from his Wikipedia page:

"Deen has a fan-following among teenage girls, a demographic that is typically not associated with the pornographic industry."

Sweet fancy Moses.

lora.bee

@PatatasBravas That sentence also made me sad to realize that I will never be described as a bearded, Gandalfian figure.

itiresias

@meetapossum your genitals have tasted the same stale air!!

@stonefruit - because, unlike most headless dicks in porn, they've learned to portray him as a caring, soulful, relatable dude who happens to have a monster wang. plus, he actually seems like a human golden retriever type of dude who's genuinely excited to have had the opportunity to...get to be a porn star. i don't watch porn and once spent like two hours in a wormhole stalking him/reading his tumblr in a state of wtf/awe/"i am in the corner of my college library this is so not the time".

stonefruit

@itiresias Oh I know! Not criticizing at all. I found that line to be just another facet to the bright and shining gem that is this article.

Porn Peddler

@olivia James fucking Deen.

That dude.

olivia

@stonefruit I've heard he also has quite the following of late-20s/early-20s feminists who would love to get banged out by him. FROM A FRIEND.

olivia

@Porn Peddler OH AND HOW.

itiresias

@stonefruit oh not criticizing either! just elaborating because i think it's so funny.

KJZ
KJZ

I know Jane. I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! I teared up when the writer is standing outside her room listening to her cry "like a child lost in the woods." Whoa.

Mariajoseh

@KJZ yeah, and that is pretty much what everybody does with her, they use the good parts, hear her cry and then leave. It broke my heart for some reason

katiemcgillicuddy

@Mariajoseh God, that is what everyone does to her, isn't it? Jesus...

Mariajoseh

I found it super interesting too, but I disliked the title. I felt that whatever "happend" with the film was the director's fault.
Oh, and the scenes with the paparazzi/gossip media! isn't it sad that it seems that those are the only personal relationships that she knows how to handle?

Megasus

We're not even gonna talk about how she supposedly stole Elizabeth Taylor's bracelet, and then when the woman who owns it threatened to call the police if she didn't give it back, she texted her saying, "ELIZABETH WOULD BE VERY DISPLEASED WITH YOU RIGHT NOW."

itiresias

@Megano! wait that's amazing.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

When you owe the hotel $46,000, who has a problem?

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

I JUST READ THIS! And it made me sad, because it felt like I was reading the lead up to her death in her obituary.

Jane Marie

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose SHHHHHHH DON'T YOU SAY THAT.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Jane Marie I'd take it back if I could, but it just reads so sad. Probably because right before it I read "Little Girl Lost" on Longform and it was all about a porn star who spiraled and spiraled...

smidge

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Ugh, I love longform but there is a lot of sad on there.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@smidge I know. It's partly why I keep going back. That and the crime stories. And pretty much anything from Texas Monthly.

She was a retail whore

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I can never thank Longform enough for bringing Texas Monthly into my life.

bananab0at

this made me re-love lindsay, i have to be honest. she doesn't seem like she's on the verge of an overdose anymore. and she's the rare blend of un-self-aware yet hilarious. also, you gotta love a plucky escort.

PatatasBravas

where is AHP right now

where

Jane Marie

@PatatasBravas on twitter, talking about this article.

PatatasBravas

@Jane Marie with Bret Easton Ellis I hope

Judith Slutler

"Horne drove them down the hill, pausing at a security gate. That’s when his passengers did a jailbreak, jumping out of his car. Honig frantically pushed buttons until the gate opened and the four of them dashed for Lohan’s assistant’s car. Horne sat, baffled for a moment, before heading back up the hill and briefing Schrader. The director was furious."

I do not regret using one of my NYT article clicks up, on this story.

Judith Slutler

@Emmanuelle Cunt
I mentioned the scene at the house where she dissolved into tears. I may have said that she still had a gift and that it shouldn’t be squandered. Lohan’s eyes filled.

“I know. I’m trying. I’m really trying.”

But then she shook her head.

“I can’t cry. I’ve got makeup on.”

... whoa

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Emmanuelle Cunt

WHOA

Regina Phalange

@Emmanuelle Cunt "I do not regret using one of my NYT article clicks up, on this story."

Thank you for expressing it so perfectly.

meetapossum

Everyone in the article was horrible, except for poor, friendless James Deen. Between this and the picture of him posed as the Ikea monkey, ugh. James Deeeeeeeeen, I'll be your friend!

City_Dater

@meetapossum

He ran off and lost them a day's shooting to go make another (porn) film.

Lindsay Lohan is the only person who comes off as having any professional chops among the lot of them, even with her diva-ish nonsense. (I so want her to have a shot at sane adulthood. Can't Drew Barrymore mentor her or something?!)

meetapossum

@City_Dater I mean, yes, but I could also see him (on time, everyday) watching Lindsay's behavior and finally being like "Well, fuck this!" The day he went on a porn shoot he wasn't even supposed to be filming. (Not a totally legit excuse, but 5:30am hanging out with Gaga + 9am show up time does not an inner-ear infection make.)

Valley Girl

@City_Dater Thank you for giving me a mental image of Drew Barrymore and Shia LaBeouf sitting Lindsay down and giving her a real former-child-star-with-family-dysfunction-and-substance-issues Come To Jesus moment. I mean, people from Jane Fonda to Amy Poehs have already tried to intervene but I can always hold out hope.

(ugh I just reminded myself of things I used to say about Amy Winehouse nooo *knocks wood*)

itiresias

@meetapossum totes agreed, he left work to work, she wasted work constantly being a lindsay

LMac

@meetapossum Just wandering around, tucking garbage liners snugly into their cans.

LMac

@LMac Not a euphemism

Valley Girl

I know it's the most naive thing ever, but I was really hoping that Liz & Dick and The Canyons were going to be a chance for her to turn over a new leaf. And I think she's genuinely trying, just without actually changing the behaviors that cause the problems. She's grown a lot more self-aware but she's still got some major blindspots.

Come on, Lindz, step it up.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Valley Girl I felt the same way. I loved the storytelling in this article, but I don't feel the same glee in watching her self-destruct that others seem to have. It makes me sad. She might be totally messed up and ridiculous, but she seems like she needs legit help, slowly drowning as we all pop popcorn and watch.

Valley Girl

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Most definitely! I can't pretend I didn't get a little charge of schadenfreude finding out exactly how much of a low-rent clusterfuck The Canyons has been but I'm trying to aim it all at Bret Easton Ellis ;) When it comes to Lindsay, I'm much more emotionally invested in seeing her triumph than get past to the point of no return but I can see how for someone else it could easily go the other way.

karion

@Valley Girl: I am genuinely baffled as to why you think she is genuinely trying. What in this article gave you that impression?

Lindsay's behavior stems almost entirely from people giving her second, third, twentieth chances. All of those are seemingly unearned opportunities. Put another way, she continues to be given - not earning - second chances.

I believe in my bones that this is what will eventually hasten her death.

I don't wish her any harm at all and I hope she finds some treatment that works for her. But I don't understand the compulsion that others have to give her unearned second chances and opportunities.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@karion I think she largely gets second, third and 50th chances because people make money off of her. What makes me sad, as a human, is that she's likely killing herself in the process and no one is there to give her the real help she needs, like getting out of Hollywood and figuring her shit out without an audience. It's like Britney Spears. I have a hard time not seeing them merely as products, but as people. I don't know why.

itiresias

@karion i think it's sick too. why do we still care? i didn't watch liz and dick other than whatever clips are online, but she was terrible in them. i'm as guilty as loving ridiculous celebrities as the next avid reader of the internet, but at some point it's old news and just ... boring to watch someone continue to be a mess. i feel like the only hope for her as a human would be to leave hollywood and her psycho fam and see if she can find happiness in any other sort of hobbies or work.

Valley Girl

@karion Well in this and other recent interviews she's given a lot of lip service to the idea that she's throwing herself into her work in an attempt to get her life back on track. But as I said, she's not actually changing any of the problem behaviors that would make her better at doing her job.

Now, would I love to see her actually grow enough to acknowledge how culpable she's been and how badly her behavior has actually been? Holy shit, yes. But I would settle for her to stop fucking up. I can easily understand how someone else could lose patience with her constantly squandering second chances and start rooting for her to get her comeuppance instead.

karion

@Valley Girl: But it is just that, yes? Lip service. This article makes it incredibly clear that it is just lip service and, in fact, she isn't doing a damn thing differently.

I am not rooting for her comeuppance in any manner, shape, or form. I have a great deal of compassion for her, particularly since the people she trusts the most are the ones that do her the most harm and sell her out for their own gain. That is a cruel existence for anyone, even someone with access to help.

But make no mistake - she has incredible access to help and treatment. Five different stays in some of the best addiction and behavioral treatment facilities in the country. She has rejected all of it, and she is getting worse, not better.

It is a slow, very public suicide, and I sure as hell am not cheering for it.

OooYeahAboutThat...

@Valley Girl I cannot love that Tyra gif more... and w this article... so many emotions / so overwhelming

Valley Girl

@karion Sorry, I didn't mean to imply you were wishing her harm. I was thinking "comeuppance" more in terms of running out of chances from Hollywood. However I agree with you almost completely. But I do think that's she's making an effort. I share your doubts as to whether it's enough to save her but here's hoping.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@karion Yep. That's the depressing part. You just have to wonder what sort of self-image she's got, because it's likely her self-worth isn't built on much more than how much attention she's getting. And, being surrounded by what appears to be a herd of famewhore vampires, you can't really expect her to have a heck of a lot of perspective on why that's not going to get her out of this hole.

Regina Phalange

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Yep, I feel really dirty for feeling entertained by this article. It reminds me of that Rolling Stone piece that called Britney Spears "an inbred swamp thing."

Springtime for Voldemort

@karion I don't see many people giving her second chances. Some, sure, but for the most part, people seem to use her, leave her, and then call using her "giving her a second chance". If you hire Lindsey Lohan to star in your movie because you need someone who's both cheap and pretty much playing themselves on screen, that's not exactly done because because you felt God/Cthulhu/whomever call upon you to rise above it all and show some compassion. She seems to have remarkably little of a healthy support network that could give her actual second chances.

Tuna Surprise

Why is this a NYTimes article rather than a recap of Heart of Darkness II: The Redarkening

TheBelleWitch

@Tuna Surprise I 'liked' this comment but it's still making me laugh so I had to come back to say that I really liked this comment.

frigwiggin

I spent quite a few paragraphs of this assuming it was a parody. But...it's real? Reality-real? My head.

blueblazes

What? I think Jared Leto would make a great psychiatrist.

LMac

@blueblazes He also does his eye makeup with a "Courtney Love approach."

katiemcgillicuddy

Schrader thought Lohan’s weakness wasn’t drugs — although he counseled her on the math of when to take sleep aids — but fear of being alone. She needed people and chaos around her 24/7. The idea of being by herself scared the hell out of her.

Oh, Lindsay :(

Springtime for Voldemort

@katiemcgillicuddy I know that this article has resulted in a lot of people feeling really mad/gleeful/hateful at Lindsey, but reading it, I can't help but feel profoundly sad for her in a way I haven't in a long time.

katiemcgillicuddy

Schrader thought Lohan’s weakness wasn’t drugs — although he counseled her on the math of when to take sleep aids — but fear of being alone. She needed people and chaos around her 24/7. The idea of being by herself scared the hell out of her.

Oh, Lindsay :(

katiemcgillicuddy

@katiemcgillicuddy Sorry for the doublepost. (Goddamnit, it did it again).

captain mal

Now I really want to google James Deen to see what he looks like, but I'm not sure if my work would appreciate me getting paid to google porn stars?

meetapossum

@captain mal Here is an adorable SFW photo of James Deen posing as the Ikea monkey

lasso tabasco

@meetapossum HOT

roadtrips

Artist outlaws! Sorry, excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Porn Peddler

I just read the better part of this article out loud to my room mate, this is so good, omg. omg.

I can't wait to see this trainwreck.

Valley Girl

@Porn Peddler Heeeeyyy, this seems like as good a time as any to ask the resident expert! Any suggestions for some good James Deen substitutes, i.e. as @itiresias says above: "a caring, soulful, relatable dude who happens to have a monster wang"? ~Asking for a friend~

Porn Peddler

@Valley Girl Brian Street Team and Danny Wylde perhaps?

par_parenthese

Ohhhhhhhhhh sads. Lindsey. Lindsey Lindsey Lindsey.

tea sonata

Genuinely, genuinely thought this was fiction.
Holy crap. Does she ever stop?

beanie

Did anyone else get annoyed with Lady Gaga? I know Lindsay is the root of the problem, but having enabler friends like that grosses me out. Ugh, celebrities!*

*says the girl commenting on an article about celebrities

BoozinSusan

@beanie Yeah. I don't know what gave me the idea that Lady Gaga is any "better" than that, but I guess I did?

itiresias

@BoozinSusan it just made me think about what celebrity life might be like. i kind of assumed they weren't even friends, it was just like lindsay's publicist hears lady gaga's in town, contacts her publicist, they agree to put the two in the same place, they get free drinks and coke all night for being famous or something. which is nuts, obvi.

WineRanger

I am only quarter of the way through it (savoring every word) when I had to race over here to say:

"In 2006, she was the best thing in Robert Altman’s “Prairie Home Companion.” ?????????????????????????? In what Bizarro world?

Back to the story...

fondue with cheddar

@WineRanger Yeah, I actually retread it twice because I thought I must have misunderstood.

Naresh Kumar

Glad to visit your blog Great write-up, I am a big believer in commenting on blogs to assist the weblog writers know that they’ve added one thing worthwhile to the world large net!Anyway, in my language, there aren’t a lot good source like this. seo India

Edmon

I am forever thought about this vigrx results

Edmon

naturally like your web-site however you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth on the other hand I will surely come again again. vigrx

Edmon

You have brought up a very great points vigrx plus coupon code

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account