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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

657

Drynuary: What and Why

Edith Zimmerman: John Ore, Drynuary leader and expert, let's talk about Drynuary. Which, for the unfamiliar, is not-drinking for the month of January. Although everything besides booze is fair game, right?

John Ore: Correct. Drynuary centers on booze-fasting, so other vices are certainly fair game during the month. Although I've heard of folks using Drynuary to abstain from other things, like smoking the reefer. But I feel like you need to tailor the nomenclature if you're going to do that. "Drynuary" has a connotation that's very specific to booze.

Participating in Drynuary last year helped me make my brilliant decision to become a smoker. So if you're easily tempted by other substances, or likely to replace one with another, Drynuary might not be for you. Consult your doctor before you Drynuary! (Not really, though. Probably. Right?) Unless you want to make a replacement?

Wow, impressive! I thought most people became smokers through the gateway of alcohol. Social smokers, and all that. Used to be my excuse. Coffee becomes my vice of choice for Drynuary, and I have no idea why. Something about making a pot of coffee on a Saturday night just feels ... wrong. Maybe that's the appeal. "Oooh, honey (wink wink), want a LATTE!"

How long have you been doing it, and what kind of mental/physical/metaphysical clarity does it bring you?

This marks my 7th consecutive Drynuary. Before we were married, my wife and I started doing this almost on a dare: think we can make it a month on the wagon? It's since taken on a life of its own, and is something we look forward to every year (in a sick sort of way). After the gluttony of the holidays, it's a welcome respite.

I mean, cultures have long practiced rites of abstention as a means of observance or purification. Not to get all spiritual, but Drynuary has a Lentan aspect to it, although it's more meaningful to me than fasting or giving up candy for Lent. Especially since my birthday falls during Lent, and I'm not going dry during March Madness. 

Geez, maybe it's more like penance?

I understand that, medically, drying out for a whole month may not have specific physical benefits for your liver. But there are plenty of other benefits that I get from abstaining for a month, like feeling healthier, having my clothing fit better, sleeping better, drinking more coffee, and focusing on activities that don't involve drinking. This year I want to turbo-charge the health benefits by trying to exercise more, even if that just means going for a long walk in the snow. Eliminate the calories, up the voltage on exercise, et voila! I'm a slightly less-shitty rec league ice hockey player.

What's the hardest part?

Besides the not drinking part? Oh, it's a cake-walk! After 7 years, we've figured out how to modulate temptation and not obsess about the end of the month. But honestly, the hardest part is breaking the association between really good food and having, say, a nice glass of wine. Having lemonade with a perfectly grilled steak makes you feel like someone is pulling a prank on you. It's really hard to go out and have an exemplary meal while ordering multiple bottles of sparkling water. Something feels off. It's like sex with a condom on: you understand WHY it's important, but you know the alternative is much better.

The easiest?

In the interest of full disclosure, January is an easy month for us to give up demon liquor. No significant family birthdays, holidays are just long weekends, no NHL season (ugh!), college football has become a litany of Unwatcha Bowls, etc. Hell, even the Super Bowl is in February. Easy to just hibernate.

In addition, the starter's pistol for "Drinking Season," usually associated with the holidays, went off a little earlier than normal this year with Hurricane Sandy. Just sitting around, trapped inside watching weather porn (if you had power/a home), unable to get to work. It's just like Christmas with the family, so naturally it's an excuse to get drunk and fat. After that, my wife and I went to Iceland and drank all of the brennevin in Reykjavik, and the next thing you know it's Thanksgiving. So I've been feeling vaguely fluish for the past 10 days or so, resulting in me yearning to tap out and get on with Drynuary. Some years it's just like that.

What are your thoughts about cheating during Drynuary?

I'm pretty absolute about Drynuary: no booze, not even O'Doul's. You're tempted to make an exception — Oh! But it's so-and-so's birthday! It's the NFC Championship! — but that's sort of the point of Drynuary: living your life, not avoiding situations just because there happens to be an open bar. It gets back to some of the spiritual aspects of it: denying yourself in the name of some greater good. Even if that greater good is just lording your teetotaling over weaker friends.

What should people do / where should people go if they want to participate or otherwise follow along?

As with any risky endeavor, like scuba diving or getting married, it's best to have a buddy. Find a partner, pinkie-swear to do Drynuary together, and support each other. I'm fortunate in that I've had a co-conspirator for all 7 years of Drynuary. And use the Internet! Do people still go on the Twitter? If you do, let's all share Drynuary stories, best practices, and calls for help using the #drynuary tag. People are already doing it, and for a good cause.

Got an awesome non-alcoholic go-to drink for nights out on the town? Post them to Instagram, tag 'em #drynuary. Then reblog, retweet, and reheat them until the Drynuary signal reaches space aliens, and they decide not to destroy us because we're "too weird."

You can also send in any questions/concerns about how to get the most out of your Drynuary to notes@thehairpin.com. We'll field your questions and check in mid-Drynuary to see how everyone is doing.

How many "Drynuary" tattoos do participants need to get?

Drynuary is an excuse to get more tattoos? Another benefit! This year I'll be tying Aldous Snow.

Perfect. Did your last drink come before or after the stroke of midnight on December 31/January 1? And what was it?

I actually love New Year's Day, moreso when Gary Bettman isn't conspiring to ruin my year by canceling the Winter Classic. New Year's Eve can be so amateurish and anti-climactic. So I start my Drynuary on the 2nd. Extend until my wife's birthday on February 3rd (only 31 more shopping days!), which makes a nice milestone to break the fast.

This year, I enjoyed some excellent red wine (Amarone!) on New Year's Eve, and Pacifico poolside on New Year's Day. But the last drink before heading to the gallows was a simple finger of Michter's Rye. Sort of like a cigarette and blindfold.



657 Comments / Post A Comment

terrific

Me and my boyfriend tried to do this last month. But it ended up with us just giving up alcohol on the weekdays which ACTUALLY worked really well and made me generally a better person and I'm gonna continue with that. I'm not ready to go cold turkey yet, though. There's always something! One of my favorite people is visiting me next weekend! Her only requested activity is drinking!

NiceDress

@terrific I was thinking of doing something similar: relinquishing non-social drinking for the month. That means when I go out with friends or on dates, I am allowed to drink, but no more glasses of wine while internet surfing on a Wednesday night at home, etc. I think this will be better for my budget, my waistline, and my productivity. I feel like I've just been generally lazy the last month or two in regard to everything from household chores to exercising to making plans with friends, so I'm hoping that cutting out boozing at home will make me more productive, instead of briefly contemplating my to-do list and then thinking, "Nah, I just kind of want to drink wine and read this magazine." Relatedly (is that a word?), the desire for an expertly made cocktail might motivate me to take the initiative to make plans with people -- something about which I need to be less passive.

terrific

@NiceDress That's exactly what worked for me! I get SO MUCH MORE DONE when I don't drink at home, alone -- once I have that first glass of wine it's a miracle if I do anything more complicated than switch from sitting position with laptop in bed to laying on my stomach with laptop in bed. Whereas tonight I've cleaned my room, looked for jobs, taken out the trash, AND exercised. Which feels so very, very, unlike me and so very, very good.

(And don't get me wrong I looooove love wine.)

Onymous

@NiceDress I've done "no drinking in my own house" for long stretches. It's a good plan, though having to pay for manhattans at bars because none of your friends ever have parties with vermouth is galling.

NiceDress

@terrific That's exactly what I'm going for! Last night I ran a bunch of errands I had been putting off, though tonight I ended up taking an unintentionally long nap after work when I mean to just lay down for 20-30 minutes, so I guess it's a toss-up so far?

@Onymous That could be tough on the wallet, especially since I live in NYC and tend to prefer nice cocktail lounges and cozy wine bars as opposed to dives and sports bars for my drinking. To be fair, the blow is often cushioned for me by generous gentleman and even lady friends who seem to take pity on my irregular and meager earnings in the form of insisting on paying more than their fair share when we go out. I'm very lucky and grateful in that respect, and try to make it up as much as possible in the ways that I can afford, and cover things when I'm doing well (I'm a freelancer, so my finances can vary from month to month).

I work from home, and since a few of my core friends moved out of town over the last 2-3 months I feel like I've been being more hermit-like than is good for me, so I'm kind of hoping this may serve as an incentive for my introverted self to get out more often. Spending a bit more on drinks or whatever is a worthwhile trade-off for me to be more social and develop stronger relationships, I think.

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Zachary

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Each new year, many Americans decide to turn over a new leaf. Gym memberships explode; diets are undertaken. The Whole Foods lays out the maple syrup and cayenne pepper, so a "master cleanse" can be undertaken. (Ugh.) Twelve-step programs and yoga centers see a surge in new members. And others embrace Drynuary: a month without alcohol.

Zachary

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Daisy Razor

I'm sorry, after the year I was on blood thinners and then pregnancy, the mantra of "avoiding booze for a month is SO HARDCORE" has lost any meaning for me.

evil melis

@Daisy Razor yeah after the year I spent swimming through the veins of the Universe Turtle, blood thinners don't really seem "cool" anymore

Daisy Razor

@evil melis They're actually rat poison, so I imagine they'd be bad for the Universe Turtle too.

area@twitter

@Daisy Razor But do they have fun side effects, aside from turning every minor injury into Blood Fountains Ahoy? Because otherwise giving them up isn't a challenge.

Daisy Razor

@area@twitter Heh, no the point is rat poison + alcohol = blood with the consistency of zinfindel. So no drinking while on it, so I got to be sober AND blood-fountain-y, yay!

area@twitter

@Daisy Razor Ahhhhh, I get it now! I like to imagine you chugging down a shot of gin and then spraying your enemies with blood like a horrifying octopus. (Are you on warfarin? Jesus, that stuff interacts with damn near everything. Ick.)
I probably shouldn't drink on my raft of combined drugs, especially with the SSRI. I compromise by drinking lightly and occasionally. (I'm probably taking advantage of the fact that most of the docs I talk to are more concerned that I stay away from grapefruits, which are apparently terrible citrus-based death for a huge chunk of drugs. Done! Easy!)

beatrixkiddo1

@Daisy Razor Lordy, I hear you. I'm pregnant right now. The next six months (18 years?) are friggin Drynuary, and there's no quitting.

Amphora

@area@twitter I can't have grapefruit either and only notice when someone orders a greyhound at the bar. As long as oranges and lemons are still safe!

NeverOddOrEven

@area@twitter
Can't have cranberries either. Or too many leafy greens. I've been on Warfarin for 3 years now and probably will be for the rest of my life. It sucks. No fun side effects, just a lot of being stuck with needles and annoying calls from nurses because, "Your INR is low again, are you sure you've been taking it every day?"
So I still drink.

area@twitter

@NeverOddOrEven >:( Man, modern medicine, how can you be so awesome and still so sucky at the same time?

Daisy Razor

@NeverOddOrEven Yeah, after about 6 months, I was like, "I can have a few drinks as long as I don't bump into anything, right?" What I REALLY missed was SPINACH.

I was only on warfarin for a year, then when I was pregnant I gave myself shots of lovenox twice a day. Frankly, I preferred the shots.

NeverOddOrEven

@Daisy Razor
I saw a nutritionist a few months back (total waste of time and money) but she said to just eat greens every day so intake is consistent and dosing can be adjusted around that. As much as I'd like to heed that advice I still haven't figured out how to feed myself properly.

And, really? I had to Lovenox for a couple weeks recently and it was a nightmare. Did you know that shit is derived from pig intestinal mucus?!

like a rabid squirrel

@NeverOddOrEven @Daisy Razor I still drank (a drink or two at most) on Warfarin, mostly to combat how annoyed I was at not being able to drink chamomile tea or eat spinach, and take the edge off accusatory phone calls from nurses asking me "Did you eat a SALAD before you got blood drawn? Are you SURE you didn't miss a dose?"

Here's hoping I don't have a recurrence, I only narrowly avoided snapping at so many phlebotomists during that time.

gobblegirl

@like a rabid squirrel While I sympathize with all these stories, I'm still giggling at the idea of a nurse being furious that someone ate salad.

area@twitter

@gobblegirl When someone's on hemodialysis, they have to avoid phosphorus, potassium, sodium, and protein intake. (This can lead to an exciting interval when you accidentally eat something high-sodium and spend your next hemo session puking.) When I started on my mercifully brief bout of hemo, the dietician handed me an enormous sheaf of papers listing what I couldn't eat and then told me I should probably eat more sugary foods. First and last time I heard that advice.

@NeverOddOrEven Isn't drug history fascinating? You have your pig intestine and your horse urine stories, sure, but you also get cool stuff. My main immunosuppressant drug was first found in a sample of soil from Mount Fuji. ACE inhibitors were first synthesized from compounds found in the venom of a Brazilian pit viper. (I haven't been able to spit venom at my enemies yet, but hey, you never know...)

NeverOddOrEven

@area@twitter
So neat! Science!
This sort of thing is why it's sad and frustrating that "alternative" or "natural" medicine isn't regulated and therefore respected. I mean clearly these chemists are aware of the potential that's there, but it seems like it's not being utilized to the extent it could be?
I have no idea what I'm talking about, but these are my thoughts.

Amphora

@NeverOddOrEven The world would be a better place if scientific studies were always fully funded.

mc coolfriend

@area@twitter What is w/the grapefruit? Ha, did you know, they actually make a pointed, um, point of NOT warning you off it at the methadone clinic, though every other literature about and prescriber of methadone will, b/c it is one of the drugs whose effects are made more potent by grapefruit. Because, you know, drug addicts taking risks in the name of drugs. I guess they figure the risk of one of their patients actually just happening to willingly drink grapefruit juice is negligible. B/c it is so gross and you have to drink the REAL nasty, not the sweetened low percentage shit, for it to happen

Apocalypstick

@NeverOddOrEven Yeah, the sheer number of things you're forbidden on warfarin is infuriating, and half of them seem utterly arbitrary -my nurses are very keen on the "if you do this you will die" approach, so it takes a while to establish whether I'll drop down dead if I eat an avocado (noooo!) or whether it's more an "in moderation" kind of thing. I'm convinced vitamin k is The Deliciousness Vitamin.

I did once ask a doctor what one WAS allowed to eat, & he thought for a minute then proclaimed "Lean protein, and custard. In moderation." Thanks a lot, dude.

NeverOddOrEven

@Apocalypstick
What?! Fuck that, man. I had no idea avocado interacts. That could be my problem, as I tend to eat a lot of it. This just further confirms my 'Fuck It' approach.

area@twitter

@mc coolfriend Grapefruits apparently contain compounds that interact with one of the major enzymes involved in drug metabolism (CYP3A4). The list on Wikipedia is friggin' huge. It makes sense that they don't warn people off it at the clinic though; like you said, the risk of it having an effect is much lower than giving tips on how to get higher to folks fighting addiction.

@Apocalypstick Oh God, that is absolutely infuriating. People are not automatons! There is a limit to the number of arbitrary restrictions they can put up with! I think there's a tendency for medical staff to overwarn people, thinking that most of them will ignore or only partially follow advice.

Apocalypstick

@area@twitter Absolutely -I have overheard the poor nurse trying to convince one man that he really should quit smoking, honestly, for real, not in a few months, not cut back, yes really, it doesn't matter which brand, he honestly does have to quit, not trying to be mean, yes it does matter, not making it up, now, seriously after he'd apparently had his second heart attack and a dvt and was arguing very weezily. Overwarning does make sense if that's the kind of shit you have to expect every day.

OhMarie

I'm in. I feel pretty ready to not drink for a while--my holiday season also kind of started around Sandy/Halloween and just sloshed straight through into the wee hours of New Year's. I'm going to be 29 in a month and a half! That means we're going to start thinking about kids soon! I feel like this shouldn't be as hard as it seems.

iffie

@OhMarie If you're still counting down to your birthday in half-month increments you probably shouldn't be thinking about anything.

OhMarie

@iffie Ok, I'm not counting down--my birthday is halfway through February and it's the beginning of January. Easy.

C_Webb

After a miserable walk home last night in which I threw up in an Orthodox Jewish woman's driveway while she waited politely to pull in with her minivan full of kids,* I'm in. Let's do this thing.

*I think quickly-consumed Mexican may have had more to do with it than booze, but that last frozen Mojito after a day of Bloody Marys and Moscow Mules sure didn't help.

C_Webb

@C_Webb And yes, brilliant point on Sandy, when I was not the only mom punctuating playdates with a cocktail at around 2 pm.

madge

i am definitely taking part in drynuary this year. it's funny, staying away from alcohol isn't actually that hard for me, it's just a habit to plunk down with a glass of wine at the end of the day. will plunk down with fizzy water instead, and see how it feels!

C_Webb

@madge I'm considering becoming extremely pretentious about tea.

fruiting body

@madge Yes, this is one of my things, too! I moved recently and don't go out as much just because I have a small social circle - but I have started having one, or two or three, drinks every evening. So getting out of that routine is going to be awesome (I hope!)

OhMarie

@C_Webb Yes, tea! And I was already considering a Dryanuary when my husband and I were out shopping for our NYE party, and impulse purchased a couple of bottles of grapefruit flavored Perrier that were on sale. So I've got that going for me.

fruiting body

@OhMarie Ooh, this comment just reminded me that we need refills for the Soda Stream! Don't know how I'll make it without that...

mustelid

@C_Webb I became pretentious about tea about three and a half months ago to quit smoking/excessive soda intake. It worked really well.

Lila Fowler

@mustelid That's awesome. Who wants to join my #Quituary tea drinking club?

mustelid

@Lila Fowler If you like greens, find a good genmai cha. It's toasted rice mixed with Japanese green tea, so it's got a cereal-y quality to it and doesn't get too grassy like some greens can get (in my opinion). Probably one of my favorite teas.

Also I have this infuser and I love it. So much easier to clean than a tea ball, plus you can watch the leaves unfurl.

Reasons why tea helped me quit smoking:
- Gets me away from my desk for a few minutes
- Involves a bit of a ritual/habit
- Gives me something to do with my hands (warm them on the mug, swish the infuser around)
- Gives me something to do with my mouth (drink tea, duh)

You go girl, quit that smoking. I believe in you!

fabel

I want to do this, & pretty much confused my boyfriend all of NYE by slurring "Drynuary! it's a thing!" to him, while Googling it on my phone behind his back to make sure I wasn't making it up. He's pretty not into the idea though, & honestly, I don't know if I can do it! Maybe we'll do like @terrific and only give up during the week?

fruiting body

@fabel I'm doing it even though my husband refuses to do it with me. I think it will make it slightly harder, but, I've put my foot down and told him he better not try to change my mind.

coolallison

I just told my husband that we are doing this. He, surprisingly, seemed okay with it.

I have gotten to where I have been partaking in booze just about every day the past few months. Combine that with the fact that I found out today that there is nothing wrong with my thyroid, so my inability to lose weight is just my own damn fault... I'm guessing it won't hurt to abstain for a while.

TheDangQuesadilluh

@coolallison that's exactly why i'm doing it. reading the weekly updates from the awl last year convinced me to give it a whirl.

worst case, i don't lose weight but i save money i would have spent on the demon drink.

the angry little raincloud

Hell to the NO. I'm trying to decide between which of two bars I'm going to this evening: my old favorite (where I occasionally sleep with the bartender... so, you know, added benefit) or a new place that looks fab. Fave place closes at midnight; new place is supposedly open until 4, so I guess I can hit both?

I am, however, going to a 1-hour pilates class followed by a 75 minute hot yoga class tonight. (Yes, two different classes). So I feel like I've earned my booze. I need to rehydrate, after all.

Tragically Ludicrous

@the angry little raincloud I already had a Leffe during dinner last night, and I don't intend to leave the US without drinking more ridiculous cocktails where the word "infused" is part of the description. So I'm not doing it either.

the angry little raincloud

@Tragically Ludicrous Prosit!

queenofbithynia

@the angry little raincloud hooray for wetnuary! I find this all extremely enraging -- I mean as a popular trend, not as a personal choice, everybody should make the personal choice not to pickle their insides for the sake of Health (I GUESS.)

but I mean, my one great giant hope for this month and for the entire year it begins is to be able to take fewer enough percocets per week that I can start to destroy my liver with liquor again instead of with acetominophen, like God intended.

and jan and feb are the bleakest months of the year. THE drinky months. You can get through November and December on festive spirit alone (and opiates) but January and February are the drinking months, if you are a drinking sort.

theotherginger

@queenofbithynia I think because I have a religious background, and family and friends who teetotal always, I just can't to do this. I prefer to be moderate, and this year, even managed to be moderate in December.

Tragically Ludicrous

@the angry little raincloud Instead of participating in Drynuary, today I had a cocktail made of: Sombra Mezcal, Clement Creole Shrubb, B&B, lavender and Earl Grey syrup, and ginger ale. I think I made the right decision.

theotherginger

@Tragically Ludicrous aaah mezcal where can I find you when I am not in Mexico

the angry little raincloud

@Tragically Ludicrous I like how you think. The bartender at the second bar -- new bar!-- gave me a shot of tequila at the end of the night. He was really, really cute. Also, probably 10 years younger. I'll back... tomorrow?

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evil melis

why would you ever give up reefer

C_Webb

@evil melis I have a date for a joint and a Russian bath tomorrow and I am not cancelling that shit.

area@twitter

I don't drink enough to make Drynuary feel like a thing. I might do a low-carb or carb-free week or something similar in January, though? Not because I think it'll have Amazing Health Benefits (tm), but because I'd like to improve how I eat, and when I overeat it's almost always on carbs. Tortillas, crackers, chips, rice, pasta...Might be worth a shot to just see how it feels.

themegnapkin

@area@twitter on NYE, I drunkenly vowed to do a vegan month (I'm vegetarian). So, Drynuary, and Vegan February. Mainly b/c I want to drop the ~5ish pounds I've put on, and I think this will do it.

up cubed

@area@twitter My experience is that the first 2-3 weeks of eating low carb are the worst, and then things get better after that. Maybe a reason to make it a month, so you can enjoy the upside of it?
ETA: by "worst" I mean feeling crummy, physically (headache => more coffee) and emotionally (cranky => solution? hide?).

Heat Signature

Pro tip: Realize that you're an alcoholic and EVERY month can be Drynuary!

Anne Marie@twitter

@Heat Signature *toasts you with my non-alcoholic beverage in honor of every month, be it Jul-dry or Oct-sober!*

MollyculeTheory

I'm doing the Januariad writing challenge, which is pretty much mutually exclusive with Drynuary. One gratuitous self-torture device at a time pls.

Slutface

It's all about the flavored seltzer in Drynuary for me.

the angry little raincloud

@Slutface I like to drink my flavored seltzer (Vintage Mandarin orange) with Campari.

emthco

@Slutface Vintage Mandarin Orange is heaven in a can.

thisisunclear

While last year I jump-started a Drynuary thanks to my New Year's week cold, this year I am headed to a professional conference in a major party town. Drybruary, anyone?

phenylalanine

@thisisunclear ...would this conference happen to be SPSP, by any chance?

thisisunclear

@phenylalanine nooo, alas. mine has 3 letters :-)

phenylalanine

@thisisunclear Ahhh, darn. Party towns DO make the best places to have conferences, so it makes sense there would be several. :)

bgprincipessa

@phenylalanine Oooh, yours sounds fun though.

Ellie

There have got to be like 20 different conferences in New Orleans this year. One of the things I do in my job is issue travel grants to graduate students to attend and present at conferences, so I keep track of where they are all being held. Apparently New Orleans has made a huge push to invite conferences there and it seems to be working out really well so far.

theotherginger

@thisisunclear you are going to the one in the fun city! Mine is in a cold city. It also has three letters.

thisisunclear

@theotherginger ours was in that cold city two years ago, and it was...cold. and in a mall.

@Ellie I've never been, so I'm kind of excited, but the political scientists got canceled a few months back thanks to Hurricane Isaac, oops.

Moral of the story? There is no Drynuary in NoLA.

Lush Life

@thisisunclear As a former resident of that fine city I can assure everyone that there is no "Drynuary" in New Orleans. What there is, is CARNIVAL, January 6 until February 12th. Then y'all can dry out.

Lu2
Lu2

I forgot about Drynuary until this. I've been feeling way over-indulged. Unfortunately, I had a drink yesterday afternoon (and, TBH, a tot of wine in the wee hours because I couldn't sleep). I guess I can start today.... ?

Also, "It's like sex with a condom on: you understand WHY it's important, but you know the alternative is much better." Your mileage with this simile may vary. I know mine does.

unicornfighter

"It's like sex with a condom on: you understand WHY it's important, but you know the alternative is much better." I'm kind of irritated that this was the best comparison he could come up with. It sounds really whiny and kind of douchey.

The alternative ISN'T always better, thanks. *mutters in a corner*

garli

@unicornfighter How so? I mean, duh no one wants to get knocked up on accident and no one wants germs but assuming those concerns don't exist why would sex with a condom ever be better?

Unless you're saying you prefer steak with non alcoholic beverages, which is fair enough.

Lu2
Lu2

@garli There are reasons, which is why I said YMMV (see above), though I'm afraid I don't really want to get into them. I agree with unicornfighter, basically. And how could those concerns *not* exist (except, of course in the case of infertility for the pregnancy one)? I'm just pointing out that these things that "everyone" agrees upon aren't really universal, although the point, I admit, has nothing to do with this article.

garli

@Lu2 But now I'm insanely curious. Mostly because I'm lazy and it's one less thing to think about in life.

For me the concerns don't exist because I'm in a monogamous relationship with some one I trust (who was tested for STDs before we slept together) and we use a different method of birth control.

mustelid

@garli I'll bite. I'm in a monogamous relationship with someone who I trust, both of us are tested, I have an IUD. Perfect candidates for barebacking.

Except I get horrible, chronic BV if we don't wrap it up, because my delicate flower is a apparently a delicate flower. pH disruption, yo.

fabel

@mustelid okay, but it still feels better in the moment, right? So it's still basically "much better"?

Ellie

My impression is that some women like condoms so they don't have to deal with having stuff dripping out of them for a time afterwards. Personally I've never had this happen to me in any noticeably deterring way but I have just a few instances to draw from, so don't take my word for it.

mustelid

@fabel Wow, some of y'all are super invested in this "not having a condom is always much better for everyone always forever and ever amen" opinion, aren't you?

fabel

@mustelid welll not "invested", don't mean to offend. With disbelief suspended & all, I'm just curious about the responses that are like "umno."

garli

@mustelid Honestly I'd just never heard of this happening. (Aka, it doesn't happen to me or any of my friends who I talk graphically about sex with). Which is why I was curious. That's what asking a stranger on the internet is for!

mustelid

@fabel Um, except I explained past just an "umno" and you were still like "no, it can't be! you must be mistaken."

I don't see how it's hard to understand that yes, even "in the moment" it's not always better, because I know what will come of it later and it is not good, and that can be very distracting. Brain is the biggest sex organ and all that.

timesnewroman

I just thought it was a crap comparison because it came across as whiney and frat boyish. In my experience everyone has their preferences for whatever reasons but most women (most not all) don't really care when push comes to shove, and the only people who make a huuuge fuss about it are whiney young men.

fabel

@mustelid I am sorry if I was demeaning your personal experiences--I did sound a bit flip with my response to your explanation. The comparison in the article just seemed, to me, to take place in that fantasy space where there's no bad after-effects resulting from lack of protection. BV included with unwanted pregnancy, STDs, etc. So that's where I'm coming from---kind of "but the 'alternative' is in happy magic land!" not "what you feel in real life is wrong." If that makes sense. (And now it DOES look like I'm overly invested...ha)

Lu2
Lu2

@timesnewroman --I agree and co-sign this 100%. The automatic, unexamined use of that simile gave me a flashback to being, not exactly coerced, but sort of "programmed" to sign on with that idea by a particular person. At the time I was like, "why is this so important to you that you would say 'it feels so much better that way' to me as an encouragement, when in fact what you mean is 'it feels so much better TO ME'?" Of course, I didn't say that out loud and barely even realized I was thinking it, because I was being manipulated. How is it "better" for the woman (me)? It's one of those sex-related things that seems to me, by and large, male-specific and then is taken as the default because of the tendency in our culture for the male experience to be taken as the default. And so it really rubbed me the wrong way.

phylogenetic

Drynuary seems like a great idea, but I think it should be done as un-smugly as possible. Like, cool - don't drink that's awesome! BUT, maybe just say to your friends "Ah, I'm just not feeling it tonight" instead of "I'M not drinking because my body is a TEMPLE etc etc".

Ah. Maybe it isn't a thing, and is just me just projecting my own issues! I dunno.

laurel

@phylogenetic You want me to give up alcohol and smuggitude at the same time?!

Tragically Ludicrous

@phylogenetic But then you wouldn't get to feel the appealing smugness of Giving Up Something! If no one knows you're doing it, how will they be in awe of you?

themegnapkin

@phylogenetic If it's not smug, it's not Drynuary.

shantasybaby

@themegnapkin Yeah, don't drink for a month because you think it'll make you feel good but giving it a name and a hashtag makes it too smug for my blood. I'll be drinking champagne tonight to celebrate not celebrating Drynuary!

laserbeams

After a messy New Year's, I'd be totally down for this except it's my birthday in two weeks. I usually give up booze for February but there's no catchy name for that, is there?

laurel

@laserbeams I like "Februwagon".

laserbeams

@laurel Amazing.

Chloë Lees@facebook

@laserbeams I did it last year and called it Foiebruary.

battleaxejazzhands

@laserbeams My roommate and I do "No Bevruary."

kissy hynde

I'm doing it,and I'm terrified. But after a year of boozing almost daily,gaining weight and getting little else done,I've realized that I need to confront the things in life that drive me to drink (my job!!!!!!)rather than downing pints.I'm so,so glad that The Hairpin is here,I really enjoyed reading the entries from last year and I am glad to know that letting yourself be smug for once is an added benefit.I plan on blowing a wad of cash on fancy bitters to enhance my Soda Stream experience,finishing/starting several embroidery projects,smoking too many cigs,start watching The West Wing and when shit gets hard just sniff my husband as he generally has some good beer fumes coming off of him(no way in hell would he do this with me,as much as we love each other it would drive me crazy if he was home every night with me!)Best of luck,my fellow boozehounds!
Oh,and to the ladies that gloat in the fact that they are/were pregnant and couldn't drink for 9+months and then breastfeeding,etc.-so not helpful,the motivation to not destroy brand new brains and bodies is I'm sure much stronger than the motivation to drop a few pounds and work on some craft projects.

Lu2
Lu2

@kissy hynde --Oh, dag, your mention of bitters reminded me that I have a party to go to this weekend whose main point is making and then imbibing interesting old-fashioned cocktails and eating delicacies. I guess it's Februwagon for me instead. :-\

meetapossum

@kissy hynde Oh, boy, does your story sound similar to mine. Good luck to both of us!

John Ore

We are here for you! And you sound like you're well on your way and stocked with plans, projects and dreams. Well done.

Merry Drynuary!

Snood Mood

@kissy hynde Yes! Bitters! Seltzer and bitters as well as chamomile tea is my was of getting through Detoxuary.

VDRE

I am definitely doing this mostly because for Chanukah my parents gave me a box full of wine. As in not boxed wine because they're classy but with separators and different bottles. Also I don't really think I drink enough that not drinking in January would cause me to notice any changes in myself? I don't think I really understand the 'why' of Drynuary, I get why people might want to stop drinking forever or for a pregnancy or whatever but just not drinking in January seems kind of pointless?

babs

@VDRE You're probably too classy to understand.

VDRE

@babs ? I'm not trying to sound smug, I just don't really get it. Also I was saying that my parents are classy, I buy my own boxed wine.

kissy hynde

@VDRE To give your body a break after a long month of parties.To re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol.To start a New Year with a clear mind. To save a little bit of money for something meaningful. To do something new with your girlfriends that doesn't involve a bar. To have a month of only sober sex. It seems that people who take on Dryuary are people whose regular daily life includes drinking-not to say that they abuse alcohol but for those who don't have a second thought about that second or third drink on a Tuesday night,who look forward to PMS so they have an excuse for day time Irish Cream/Qream, who are shy and maybe a little snobby so rely on some booze to not come off as such a bitch. I'm not expecting any great change, I assume after January I'll still be going to work with an occasional hangover and still choose a sunny patio with friends over sweating it out on the eliptical, but maybe not? I also go vegan for a month every year, which is probably pretty pointless, but being such a heathen, it's rare that I deny myself any and all pleasures-going without cheese pizza during my period makes me a horrible person to be around, but in the end, I am always glad that I stuck it out. It's a slippery slope between those who have a drink or so on occasion and those who Can't. Not. Drink-limbo can be a scary place to be, so why not edge yourself back up to the crest of that hill?

VDRE

@kissy hynde That makes more sense, thank you.

babs

@VDRE I get defensive when it comes to my boxed wine.

What kissy hynde says. Especially this: for "people whose regular daily life includes drinking-not to say that they abuse alcohol but for those who don't have a second thought about that second or third drink on a Tuesday night." For me it's when drinking becomes a bit thoughtless, and sort of a habit, and I find it to be really nice to reevaluate my habits especially at the start of a new year.

I also work in a bar, and usually have a drink or two at the end of the shift (or on shift, whatever.) That combined with hanging out with friends in bars when I'm not working equals lots of bar time!

VDRE

@babs Fair enough.
I guess I really never thought about there being a drink-limbo like kissy hynde mentioned, I'm more of a stay at home than a go out kind of person so my drinking is generally a beer or glass of wine with dinner a couple of times a week. I can definitely see wanting to kind of reset my habits for things that I'm more dependent on.

John Ore

@kissy hynde Where were YOU when I was working with Edith on this piece?!?!? Expertly expressed. A Drynuary pro.

kissy hynde

@John Ore haha, thanks, one of my reasons to sequester myself away for the month is to work on my writing. I don't know where I got the idea that one must perfect their drunkeness before the writing will come, I'm basically Nick from New Girl.

Miss Sunday

This will be my 6th sober January. I had no idea other folks had named it! I find it's an AMAZING way to center myself, lower my tolerance, focus on what matters in life, enjoy my health, and NEVER have a hangover for 30 days. I highly suggest it. But yes, having a buddy is pretty helpful.

Nutmeg

I thought about this, but tonight is the first time in a month I have been able to go to my favorite bar for karaoke and while I CAN karaoke sober, it's way better after a couple of drinks. Also, one of the bartenders there gives me a not-creepy wink when he asks my drink order which has always been a selling point for me (I can't explain how you know a wink is not creepy; it is a fine line indeed).

shantasybaby

@Nutmeg Any time I karaoke sober all it did was make me insanely self conscious (I can't sing at all) and angrily jealous of my friends who can sing!

LJ6000

So glad there are so many doing this. My mister is not on board so I'll have to rely on the 'Pin for support. I can do it!

AmeliaBadelia

@LJ6000 I'm with you - although my mister is in recovery, so I technically have a partner in crime, but it's not quite the same. I'm hopeful this will help me save some dollars, shed a pound or two, and lower the tolerance so when I make my triumphant return to drinking, I only have to get a glass or two of wine.

LJ6000

@AmeliaBadelia Yay! I am interested to see if I lose any weight and also if my skin improves. I tend to have acne and it seems like giving up the sauce should improve it? I guess I'll find out. I'm already making a list of projects to do to keep busy.

AmeliaBadelia

@LJ6000 Me too - conveniently the mister's mom wants to teach me to use a sewing machine, so hopefully that'll occupy me. I'm a bit wary of getting frustrated with new projects though, which will make me want to drink!

almighty jugs

I really want to do this for a number of reasons. I got mono in November and I'm feeling better but I think the way I metabolize alcohol has changed? Like, two drinks or more and I pass the fuck out way early. On NYE I got way too drunk off ~2 drinks and barely made it to midnight before falling asleep on my friend's couch. Her mom drove me home, where I promptly chugged some water, ate a banana, and slept for another five hours. It was not my finest moment, or series of moments.
So yeah, Drynuary sounds awesome and timely....except for the fact that I'm going to Scotland for a semester in less than a week and I'll be legal to drink for the first time ever and AUGH I HAD SO MANY EXCITING ALCOHOL-BASED PLANS and idk what I should do. What do you guys think?

babs

@almighty jugs Drinking is not required to have fun, exciting times. (I promise!) You'll have an awesome time, maybe awesome-er, not drinking because you'll a) learn to get comfortable being you without the crutch of alcohol and b) you'll be way, way more likely to get super sick if you combine mononucleosis with travel and getting wasted, and there's NOTHING worse than being ill in a foreign country, even if they do have a better health care system than we do.

Try ordering soda water with bitters. It looks like a 'real' drink, and you won't feel as awkward with something to hold.

shantasybaby

@almighty jugs Just for a dissenting opinion, why not nurse one drink ("as a crutch" which, as an awkward person who hates socializing, drinking socially was a godsend!) and then play it by ear. You might just have lowered your tolerance while you were sick and will be able to have a couple drinks and a good time after slowly reintroducing a drink here and there. But I feel like if you wait another whole month to drink then think February "I'm going to partay", you're going to handle your alcohol ever worse, maybe? I'm not impressed with this Drynuary thing, you should just do whatever feels right for you!

almighty jugs

@babs You are smart and almost certainly right. I have definitely been too reliant on alcohol ever since I discovered the wonders it did for my social anxiety- this could be a good chance to remind myself that I am not in fact a cretinous hambeast while sober. And bitters sound(s?) delicious! I will take advantage of my newfound legal bargoing powers to try that combination once I get there.

Valley Girl

@almighty jugs I think not trying Scotch in Scotland is a bigger crime than rescheduling Drynuary to better suit your life :)

almighty jugs

@Valley Girl Thankfully I'll be in the country until May, so whatever I decide, there will be Scotch aplenty for most of my time there ;D

almighty jugs

@shantasybaby I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be what I end up doing ;D Especially because the beer society is having an event the day after I arrive... *_*

Olivia2.0

I just wanted to log in and say I'm doing this too! As I'm trying to quit smoking, and I'm pretty sure the only way to do it is to quit drinking for a period of time too.

Scandyhoovian

I don't typically drink except the occasional beer or wine on weekends, so I feel like I wouldn't really accomplish much by doing Drynuary. However, I do want to say I like the general idea behind it, and if I were myself 5 years ago, I would likely benefit greatly from Drynuary. I just got all old and near-dry in the meantime.

gobblegirl

Ugh, I already know that I'm going to sound like such a lady-juicebox/preachy aunt for saying this, but if it's a real struggle to not drink for a 30 days how is that not a sign you have a problem with alcohol? If the default is to drink, and not drinking is an active step, that can't be good, can it?

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@gobblegirl Well, it can be a sign that something's gone wrong with one's consumption, but actively giving up alcohol can also be like changing a habit you don't really even think about when you're doing it. It can be like changing your diet; like, you didn't really think about what you were eating before, but now you are and you have to actively make different choices.

Chloë Lees@facebook

@gobblegirl I'm sure that some people who have a really hard time giving it up may have an issue with drinking, but I feel like for a lot of 'Pinners at least, it's just the fact that we ENJOY drinking. Giving up anything you enjoy (sugar, bread, internet, etc etc) is hard! Well for me and my crappy willpower, anyways.

Ellie

@gobblegirl I think for a lot of people it's sort of like Lent (in the way Lent is "supposed" to be done, I mean, when you pick one thing to give up, not like the Eastern Orthodox lent). It's a time in the year when you decide to go without something you enjoy, even in a mundane way, in order to make you more reflective. Kind of a way of balancing out your life. I'm not doing it personally but I can see why it appeals. I don't think it necessarily means that you have a problem with alcohol. I think people might have quite a similar enthusiasm for it if it were a movement of "chocolate free January" or "meat free January" with the idea being that you just celebrated with a lot of it over the holidays and want to balance things out.

But that said I do think "Drynuary" has cachet in a way "chocolate free January" wouldn't because people tend to associate a moral value with not drinking alcohol. Go figure.

LacunaKale

Huh. My birthday is in a few days, so I'll be drinking all the things, but I've abstained for longer then a month before. I never thought to name it anything besides, 'no I don't feel like having anything right now'. I mean, I like a nice drink but my drinking has never gotten so far on either side of the equation that I feel a need to recenter it.

Anne Marie@twitter

Okay, as a recovering alcoholic (266 days - i.e. almost 9 months - sober!), I'm going to say I raise an eyebrow whenever I hear people talking about taking "breaks" from drinking because that's exactly how I started out trying to prove to myself that I TOTALLY had control over this whole thing. It's almost to the level of cliche of "I can quit any time!" I would stop for a while just to show that I could do without for a bit and then go back to the same exact patterns of behavior. I thought I couldn't possibly have a problem - look how long I went without drinking! This idea all seems like rationalization, especially since health-wise it won't make up for the rest of the year.

If a person's drinking isn't a problem, then there's no reason to quit for a month and if it is a problem, there's no reason to go back to drinking at the end of the month.

I'm trying to think of another scenario analogous to this. I guess all I can think of is if you have two people who are technically considered gamblers but one is an addict who spends every day at the casino and has $50,000 of debt whereas the other puts $20 into a friendly poker match and they both decide to take a month off of gambling to make a point of self-denial or whatever and then go back to gambling at the end of the month. The addicted gambler hasn't lost any more money in that month but she or he also hasn't gotten any help and now thinks, "I'm not addicted, I made it a whole month without gambling, I knew I was fine." The poker player just missed a fun night with friends and maybe saved $20 (depending on how the night would've gone). The same goes for drinking. The alcoholic drinker falsely convinces her- or himself that nothing's wrong while the person without a problem maybe saves some money and complains that the steak doesn't taste as good and whatever else the OP said. Lose-lose.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Anne Marie@twitter
OK, I can see where you're coming from as a recovering alcoholic. But for many people, alcohol isn't as black and white as you present it here. I think there's something to be said for someone wanting to prove something to themselves, that they can exert willpower.

And, while you've got a solid view on what alcohol and drinking means for you and I commend you for that, not everyone does. Sometimes abstaining from something gives you perspective to see how much of a role it has in your life. There's plenty of middle ground between the $20 poker player and the $50,000 gambler for people. Maybe not you, but for others there is.

Onymous

@Anne Marie@twitter
As a non-alcoholic thank you for putting into words why this kind of bugs me. ALSO SUPER DITTO on the horribleness of the name "drynuary".

timesnewroman

@Anne Marie@twitter Well said.

Stacy Worst

@Anne Marie@twitter Point taken, but worst case scenario, a legit alcoholic does Drynuary when what they really need is recovery and abstinence forever.

Could taking a break be a step towards that even if it only leads to the realization you came to yourself once temporary abstinence didn't solve the problem?

Anne Marie@twitter

Also, "Drynuary" is a TERRIBLE name for it. It's hard to say and not a pun in the least.

I'm a GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP. >: (

Blue skies

@Anne Marie@twitter Definitely agree about the name.

Also you might be grumpy today but can I say congrats for making it through the holidays sober? Yay 266 days! (No alcoholic myself, but my dad's family has had some problems so managing to get help and stay sober is something I really respect.)

Exene

@Anne Marie@twitter AGREED. It's obviously "Januwagon."

Deana B@twitter

@Anne Marie@twitter @exene Banuary?

meetapossum

@Anne Marie@twitter My friend has been calling it January Drought.

Snood Mood

@Anne Marie@twitter We call it Detoxuary.

thelittledeath

Oooo...Serious Eats has our backs: Alcohol-Free Drink Recipes

meetapossum

@minijen Exactly what I was returning to this thread to ask about! Thanks!

ImASadGiraffe

This is a no-brainer for me. After the mess that ensued on New Year's Day after NYE drinking (read: puking on myself, passing out on bathroom floor, not even being able to drink water), I am fine with not drinking for a long, long time.

NiceDress

Can I just say that I love how one of the suggested links above is called "Quitting Booze Ruined Her Life?"

FickleMoon

I find the concept of giving something up temporarily really annoying. It will just make you slightly more miserable for no reason (while you complain about it to everyone else), and fail to change your long-term habits. I have a lot of respect for people like my friend who's given up alcohol long-term, which is extremely hard to do, especially in the UK where the culture is so heavily boozy.

However, giving it up for 30 days is just for smuggery/bragging rights. I probably won't drink for 90% of the days of this month but I'm not making it into a weird moralistic issue of 'cheating' and 'control' and self-denial.

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