Cosmo’s “Hottest Texts to Send a Guy,” Edited

Fire off one of these very naughty 160-or-fewer-characters messages and your man will drop whatever he’s doing to come see you.

At work having very NSFW thoughts about throwing you down on my desk …

At my physical therapy appt having very NSFPT thoughts about throwing you down! I wish you were injured, too. I feel like you’ve been distant since the accident. 

***

See if you can decipher this abbreviation: OMG IWUIM

See if you can decipher this abbreviation: OMG IWUIM

Hello?

No guesses? ;)

It means Oh My God I Want Uterine Infection Meds 

Hello?

 ***

Practicing yoga poses … totally naked. Wanna see how flexible I am?

Practicing yoga poses … totally naked. LOL!!! In a classroom with LOTS of men!

 ***

Just went to the bathroom at the [bar/party/restaurant] and took off my underwear. One less thing for you to remove tonight …

Just went to the bathroom at the [bar/party/restaurant] and took off my underwear. I splashed the area with toilet water to make it nice and clean for you!!! Oh god I am soooooo drunk!!!! Can u come in heer and help me find the door :)))

 ***

Using one hand to write this text and press the send button. Using the other hand to press MY button …

Using 1 hand to rite this txt (sorry 4 typos!!) & press the Send butten. Using the other ahnd to presh MY butt…

 

Previously: “We Built This City, We Built This City on Rock and Wheat

Lauren Bans is an editor at GQ.

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