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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

15

Circus Mustaches and Prostitute Clothes

Suddenly, I hear the sound of another woman shriek. I spin around and am surprised to see that it is Simon, standing there, with his hands over his eyes.

Simon Rich's hilarious and brilliant "Sell Out," parts one and two. (Parts three and four tomorrow and the next day.)

He also has a new book out, in case you feel like more. (Amazon | Indiebound)

15 Comments / Post A Comment

Nicole Cliffe

THIS IS MY ONLY INTEREST

Nicole Cliffe

All I want to do is cut-and-paste excerpts, so I will just say that the only word for it is transplendent.

Nicole Cliffe

"For example, in Slupsk, you could buy bowl of milk for three rubles. But they would sell you milk for just two rubles if you drank it directly from goat. It was not easy drinking from the goat, because she was strong and had anger problems."

SORRY SORRY STOPPING NOW

ironhoneybee

@Nicole Cliffe "He orders two bagels with creamed cheese and hands me one. I cannot believe how large it is—like something to feed an entire Irish family."

HMSBeagle

@ironhoneybee I really enjoyed his description of the eating of the bagel. "It is like he is in race and must shove all the bread in his mouth or else he will die."

I can't relate to this at all.

VerityStandingStill

i saw the picture and was hoping this post would be about pickles. this is a close second.

hands_down

"The person in charge of the music machine has gone crazy. He is playing two records at the same time, mixing the songs together so that it all sounds horrible. The room is so loud and crowded it reminds me of when I was in steerage. I wanted to survive, but there also was a part of me that prayed for the sweet release of death."

Hee, hee, hee.

Nutmeg

"Now, I am not the bravest person. As boy in Slupsk, I was afraid to wrestle bears, and only sometimes wrestled bears. And once, when doctor knifed out my appendix, I asked for aspirin pill."

THIS IS AMAZEBALLS

amazeballs

hands_down

@Nutmeg That part just killed me.

iceberg

Ahh these are so great , I hope I remember to read the next parts!

(is anyone else feeling a bit not-okay about the broken English though or is it under the heading of okay-because-it's-the-writer's-background?)

Nicole Cliffe

@iceberg I think it's okay because it's the writer's background. It was the only thing that tempered my insane jealousy for not having written it, that mine would be about my equally-lazy and heavy-drinking great-grand-parents from Castlebar in County Mayo, who birthed generations of indolent Canadians, and were not funny.

TARDIStime

"Even though Claire is bad at cooking, and believes in false God, and dresses like prostitute, with both ankles exposed, she is not so stupid a person. I know this because she is always reading books. I have read books before—a red one and also two blue ones—so I know a little bit about it."
^This is the only thing I am posting, I just couldn't resist.
OMG I love this so much and am emailing this to Mr TARDIStime so he can read this on his phone on the way home.

RK Fire

I'm so excited to read part three.. just opened it up right now!

Just adding a quote now:

“If you pay them a visit,” I warn him, “you will soon get two more visits. The first will be from my fists. And the second will be from Malakh HaMavet, the Angel of Death.”

BWAHAHA

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