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Tuesday, December 4, 2012

37

#6, Hart Bochner

All we want for Christmas is an annotated, illustrated list of the fifty hottest male* television actors that is not a slideshow. And, hey, look, it's Christmas morning. (Usual warning about underwear banner ads, also shirtless male TV actors and sexual puns about standing at attention.)

*If you are looking for vaguely NSFW images of FEMALE television stars, you have probably not been looking that long because that is everywhere.



37 Comments / Post A Comment

area@twitter

THAT SLUG. NICOLE. DYING.

Blackwatch Plaid

I'm sure there's something to be said sociologically about how indistinguishably similar a lot of these men look.

anachronistique

I was about to flip some goddamned tables if Shemar Moore wasn't on there, but I'm still peeved he's at #50 and not MUCH MUCH HIGHER.

noodge

idris elba got robbed on that list.

hallelujah

@noodge Such a glaring omission. So, soooooooooooooo sexy.

noodge

@hallelujah he's there, he's just not number 1 or 2.

Decca

I have really confusing feelings about Zac Efron.

itiresias

@Decca I have squeamish ones. I found it weird he was on this list.

Hot Doom

@Decca For years, I thought I was confused, but I just broke it down and dealt with it: If I was a gay man, I'd hit that. If I was a straight woman, I'd hit that. I'm a bisexual woman, and I would hit that til the cow come home.

Decca

@Hot Doom Moo.

Maryaed

That person really likes the puffy-lipped boyz. Not my thing.

hallelujah

The tags on this are possibly the greatest combination of tags ever.

rimy

Aahh I am not allowed to look at beefcake at work!! (probably) (not gonna risk someone seeing me looking at this because professionalism) :(

Kulojam

@rimy Am I professional if it is enforced? My office's firewall blocks the site. I really wanted beefcake for dessert after my sriracha lentil soup. :(

itiresias

I don't agree with a lot of these, but I've always had entirely weird taste. However, Darren Criss' description "he has a softness that makes you want to hug him closely while he's doing awful things to you down there" is amusing and pretty much accurate in describing how I feel about my boyfriend, so. That's good.

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@itiresias Me too -- my tastes run less to the conventionally studly and more to the small and wispy, or the craggy and reassuring, depending on my mood. Which means my list would be populated by, like, Aaron Paul and Hugh Laurie, among others.

Blackwatch Plaid

@itiresias Although the bit about him being gay on Glee but not in real life...erm, not if you ask his costars.

fabel

Holla to my workplace allowing me to have a privacy screen over my monitor!

sudden but inevitable betrayal

Oh, god, Joe Mangaaaaaaaaahhh...! Trying not to hump my computer screen.

ru_ri

John Schneider sure has aged well. !!!
But I must say this list, while highly enjoyable, seems woefully incomplete.

LaLoba

Here is where I confess that I have been watching grey's anatomy for years in SECRET because of dr. Mark sloane. And now it is over.

martinipie

Ugh this is AHHH-MAZING.

frigwiggin

Why ARE slideshows so infurating?

Megasus

I am disappointed this was not actually illustrated, just photos.

yeah-elle

I'm disappointed by the lack of Asian representation on this list. I know they are underrepresented on TV in general, but really? Daniel Dae Kim, guys. Will Yun Lee. BRUCE LEE when he was on The Green Hornet.

ru_ri

@yeah-elle THANK YOU. Jet Li nom nom nom.

ru_ri

@ru_ri Oh wait, not on tv. But still! Nom nom nom

Lucienne

@yeah-elle Daniel Henney is physically perfect and has starred on American TV and he is not on the list.

Loose Seal

HELLOOOOOOO Chris Meloni.

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