Wednesday, December 5, 2012


Did They Top That?

Rap group Giant Gorilla Dog Thing (name explained briefly, but satisfyingly, here) and producer PJ Katz may have finally topped "Top That" — the above legendary rap from Teen Witch — with a NSFW "cover" you might actually listen to more than once, and without laughing. "Cover" is in quotes because they call it that but it seems more like a remix, or refit, or... maybe Rap Genius would know what to call it? Also, when can we start wearing our hair like Louise's again? (Thanks, Joel!)

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Look how funky he is.


@Saaoirse I will never be hip.


thats the loudest boom box in america lol concert style im king and they know it@n


Except I think "giant gorilla wolf thing" is a quote from Attack the Block (unless it's a reference I'm not catching, which is entirely possible), which is not a 90s movie, but which IS amazing and everyone should watch it (even if I'm embarassingly wrong. Watch it anyway.)


@SarcasticFringehead I think the quote was "giant alien gorilla wolf motherf*ckers" or something but yes Attack The Block is amazing and everyone should watch it.


@SarcasticFringehead Giant Gorilla Dog Thing is from the Sandlot, and refers to the Beast that James Earl Jones owns. Quite possibly the only sports movie you ever need to watch in life.


I cannot believe how regularly I forget this movie exists considering how deeply I loved it and how many, many times I watched it as a child. Thanks for the reminder, Jane.


@PomoFrannyGlass SAME! Going to put it on my netflix list now and get my tweenhood back.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

The love I have for this clip is tantamount to my recent obsession with X-Factor Britney Spears (meaning, All The Love).


i love this movie but did anyone else find her little brother really overly and unnecessarily creepy?

no one wants to date you because you're a dog. A DOG.


@JessAndNo Absolutely. It went beyond the normal gross kid brother trope and into "How are you all pretending Richie isn't going to kill you in your sleep one night?"


The Lonely Island did a behind-the-music spoof of "Top That" a few years ago that is hilarious


@megco Is there a link to this??


@megco http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qHlYp9TpB0 you're welcome.


Ok, so, there are so many good things about this movie, and this clip is one of those things. Like, when she says, "OH, and he has the cutest walk."

It's so close to something an actual teenager would say, but at the same time: NO ONE WOULD EVER SAY THAT.

Lee Van Queef

@garseeyalater Actually, I was genuinely impressed by how much that dialogue sounded exactly like a conversation I would have as a teenager on any given day. Teenagers are total dorks.


@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas Fair enough. I never commented on someone's 'cute' walk, but I know for a fact I said other ridiculous things. I just thought that was a super-specific and strange detail to pick up on.

P.S. I could spend many enjoyable hours dissecting this film.


I agree it's spot on, 'cause I say that! It just depends on what you're attracted to.
Like if someone's kinda chubbily-butted and pigeon-toed and waddly, to me, they EASILY have The Cutest Walk.


I never really thought about it that way. Tomorrow I'll look at the world and dudes' walking styles in a new light...the light of 'teen witch.'

fondue with cheddar

@Inkling Maybe she just likes his butt, but that was deemed too racy.

Also, "chubbily-butted" is my new favorite adjective phrase.


@fondue with cheddar
It contains sufficient syllables to express all the jiggles.

Tuna Surprise

This song reminds me of a much better teen rap from the 90s, Lenni's 'Ya Gotta Believe' from Ghostwriter.
Watch and be mortified by how many of the words you remember.



HAHA OMG YES. I can't wait to watch this with sound after I get off work.


I'm wearing my hair like that NOW.


oooooh does anyone wanna geek out about rap, actually?


I mean, I want to, will anyone join me?

Queen Elisatits

What about the recreation of the entire this clip made by Rachel Antonoff with her brother and Alia Shawkat?


@Queen Elisatits ALIA. <3 <3 <3

Barbara Eldredge@facebook

@Queen Elisatits This is my new favorite thing in the entire world.


Uh. I grew up in the deep south in super a rural area with one tv channel but still. HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF THIS IN ANY WAY EVER IN MY 34 YEAR LONG LIFE?

She was a retail whore

@sox Whoa! This was on WPIX like all the time in the 90s, and I'd always assumed that people in other parts of the country saw this movie three times in any given month, too.


@She was a retail whore this, and Lucas (starring Corey Haim, RIP).

Joseph John Sanchez III

I would just like to go on the record that I was the first bad white rapper to reference this song in my rhymes (or at least I like to think I was).


(See 2:34 mark)

Lady Humungus

HAHAHA - my friend and I rap "Top That!" to each other all the time. This reminds me we haven't had a boozy Teen Witch movie night in a while. Thanks Hairpin!

fondue with cheddar

WOAH...at 1:30 she looks exactly like Michael Ian Black.


Personally, I'm a huge fan of Kenneth's cover on "30 Rock":



HAY! This is my avatar! I'm going to be the most popular girl!

She was a retail whore

@tessamae I came here just to post this lyric.

She was a retail whore

I wonder if Robin Lively and Ryan Reynolds kick back at family holidays and talk about their embarrassing/awesome early roles.

New Hoarder

@She was a retail whore Ryan Reynolds in the 'Sabrina the Teenage Witch' movie! "Seth" was such a d-bag.

She was a retail whore

@New Hoarder I never saw him in that. I wonder if he's shown that one to Blake yet.


Such love for "Teen Witch." However, for anyone else who grew up watching the Disney-edit on TV, I can attest that the DVD version has a few extra bits that are kind of scandalous.

Barbara Eldredge@facebook

@TheLetterL ooo. do tell.


@Barbara Eldredge@facebook Well, remember the scene in the abandoned house, with the stair-climbing while shedding layers of clothing? I remember it cutting away when Louise and Brad reach the top level. Not so. Not that it's anything you wouldn't see on TV, but suffice it to say that they did not offer each other a friendly handshake when they reached the attic.

There are also random references to birth control that just seem misplaced. Totally unrelated to the plot, a health class somehow turns into a room of teenagers chanting "Con!doms! Con!doms! CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS!" (We also hear briefly from the rap guy in this scene, rapping off terms for male anatomy)

Also, the part where Louise's bag gets knocked over in class and the evil teacher guy starts pawing through it? Apparently, the big joke was that he found birth control pills -- unopened. And he mocks her That's what finally pushes her into making the voodoo doll.


Uh. I grew up in the deep south in super a rural area with one tv channel but still. HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF THIS IN ANY WAY EVER IN MY 34 YEAR LONG LIFE?...tempurpedic

Jason Kevin

Uh. I grew up in the deep south in super a rural area with one tv channel but still. HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF THIS IN ANY WAY EVER IN MY 34 YEAR LONG LIFE? adventure travel


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