Thursday, November 29, 2012


What to Feed a (Former?) Rival

It's not necessarily the No. 1 most important part of Mitt Romney's lunch with Barack Obama today, but I'm curious what Obama's putting on the menu. (The 1933 Congressional Cook Book's "Believe It or Not Salad," maybe? See also: "Candle Salad.") It'll just be the two of them, in the White House private dining room. Burgers? Apples? It's also National Lemon Cream Pie Day; perhaps that might come into play. Sorry this wasn't more interesting.

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there better be some lemon cream pie


that is just amazing...is good @y


Team of Rivals? Bitchin'.


Long-noodle spaghetti, Lady and the Tramp style.

Edith Zimmerman

@Bloodrocuted Resisting the temptation to delete your comment, swap that picture in, and pretend I thought of it.


@Edith Zimmerman If you mean a photoshop of President Obama rolling Mitt Romney a meatball with his nose, or otherwise smooching, my intellectual property is yours.

RK Fire

All I can imagine are the passive-aggressive conversations between the two of them, which is weird because I like President Obama. I just think it's funny to imagine him saying to Romney over coffee things like, "You know, this room is nice now, but it really glows when the morning sun hits it. I love it on Saturday mornings.. it's a shame that you won't ever be able to see it."


@RK Fire I am having a hard time imagining Obama being passive aggressive! For Romney, though, I can hear it.

Daisy Razor

@RK Fire An NYT wrap up of the campaign mentioned that Obama personally dislikes Romney, so it might be exactly like that!

RK Fire

@PatatasBravas: I mean, I don't want to think that he is passive-aggressive or obnoxious, but I do think it would be funny if he was in this particular instance.

@Daisy Razor: I'll have to look for it.. I love reading campaign post-mortems.


@RK Fire Haha no it's just that I can't hear a passive aggressive voice for him in my head. My imagination is failing me!

RK Fire

@PatatasBravas: I think from reading some quotes and jokes he's made over the past 4 years, he has the capacity to be incredibly snarky. However, I don't think he would bother with being passive aggressive.


@Daisy Razor really? I love shit like that--do you know which article it was?


@RK Fire Oh, I think he can be passive aggressive in a kind of delightful way. The "Please proceed, Governor" smirk, the "Now we have things called aircraft carriers" and one of his knocks at Hillary in 2008 are a few examples. Now he's won, though, so I think he would just be gracious.


How did I not know about candle salad before this? Don't mind me, just cracking up alone in my office because I'm apparently eight years old.


@thenotestaken Oh! I was not expecting that.
It looks much more acceptable when a toothpick is used to put the cherry on top. Globs of cream push it completely into penis land.


@thenotestaken My favorite part of that Wikipedia article is "it's better than a real candle because you can eat it." What??


@thenotestaken I swear I've seen a recipe somewhere that instructs you to hollow out the top of the banana, pouring in a little alcohol, and setting an almond in the center, then lighting the booze so that the "candle" actually burns.
It is difficult to write anything about this recipe without sounding dirty.


@thenotestaken How was this a real thing for kids in the 50s?? Was a it a subversive way for their moms to be able to wink knowingly at each other while they were stuck at home with the kids? I mean if it wasn't already incredibly phallic looking, there is WHIPPED CREAM dribbling down from the TIP OF THE BANANA!!

runner in the garden

@Bloodrocuted please don't push a toothpick completely into penis land


@formergr Haha and some of the recipes used MAYONNAISE so even that does away with any deliciousness excuse these candle-salad-lovers might have.


@OhMarie I don't know how many times I've looked at a candle and thought, "If only I could eat that!"


@thenotestaken Good point! It basically proves they were just looking to add spooge to the "candle" they were serving their children. Yikes!


@formergr I just... I can't stop laughing. My employees must think I've gone completely insane.


@Scandyhoovian You should have heard me burst out laughing when I opened the link while at work this morning-as with bloodrocuted upthread, I definitely was not expecting that! Thank goodness my employee in the office next to me was out, or he would have come running in to see what it was, and oh how professional! (I am only newly a boss, so still getting used to the trying-to-be-somewhat-professional thing).

Jay Green

@thenotestaken i am conflicted as to whether i should be adding a 'nsfw' when linking this out

Valley Girl

@thenotestaken I LOVE that candle salad merits its own Wiki page.


@runner in the garden I think I meant "penis territory", but at this point it can't be helped.
Also, there is a holiday photo album on the internet with these in them, just randomly popping up in the background, as if they are a salad, and not a humiliating '50's dick joke to torment children.




@FlufferNutter Mitt will be so wasted.


@FlufferNutter Cold glass of milk and a FLUFFERNUTTER SANDWICH on white bread!

...this was going to be a snotty dig at Romney but then I paused and imagined Obama with a milk mustache and now I am all giggly.


@fondue with cheddar I LOVE YOU

fondue with cheddar




A. Louise

A school lunch?


Revenge would obviously be best served cold, but victory calls for something festive. Taco bar?

True story: I didn't notice the picture, and I was going to be all "IOCANE POWDER!!!" Then I scrolled back up. Spooky! Edith is apparently controlling my thoughts. I am okay with this.


@TheLetterL you know Mitt Romney doesn't eat "any of that foreign stuff"

fondue with cheddar

Barack Obama having lunch with Mitt Romney? INCONCEIVABLE!


A salad dressed with Mitt's tears?

fondue with cheddar

He should only serve him 53% of the meal because the other 47% is too lazy to leave the kitchen.

Heat Signature

@fondue with cheddar Conversely, he could serve Romney 47% of the meal, prefaced with "Courtesy of my constituency".

Heat Signature

@Heat Signature While putting on his shades, obviously.

fondue with cheddar

@Heat Signature BURN.

Though technically his constituency is more than 47%. THANK YOU AMERICA.

fondue with cheddar

Binders full of ladyfingers?


Mittens' "Famous" Orange Jell-o Salad (the secret ingredient is condensed milk!!)
A giant potato chip shaped like Sheldon Adelson's head
Chipped beef and white toast triangles
Juice or Coffee or The Blood of the 53%


Barry will dine on a giant bowl of kale, mustard on the side, and Mittens will enjoy a plate of nuts and bolts, as he is a robot sent from a terrifying alien planet.


In which we substitute Mitt Romney for Spongebob Squarepants:

I had a bowl of nails for breakfast.

Yeah? So?

Without any milk


If every woman laughing alone with a salad had a Candle Salad in front of her, I would totally understand.


Humble Pie.


@iceberg Exactly what I was going to say.


@iceberg Either that or schadenfreude pie.


"It's better than a candle because you can eat it."

Well spotted.



Or, he could present Mitt with a bill for lunch afterwards, saying "I wouldn't want you to think I was trying to buy your vote with a free lunch."


I don't know what Obama will be serving, but I have a hunch the only thing Romney will be eating is sour grapes.


Mystery solved! "White turkey chili and south-western grilled chicken salad"



@professionalmess that's a lot of poultry!

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