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The Proper Way to Celebrate Someone Else’s Holiday

On the first Thanksgiving she invited us, she told me that she was “going to do something different” and that a big saddle of veal would be the centerpiece of the meal.

I was shocked and told her that if she didn’t cook turkey, I wasn’t coming. She switched to turkey, even including “turkey fry,” or testicles, which she found at her butcher shop. We fried it and divided it among the unknowing guests, who loved it.

Um. Just think twice before inviting the devastatingly charming French chef, Jacques Pepin, to Thanksgiving dinner, is all. He goes on to list his must haves, which include stuffing (no prob), cranberry sauce (as long as it’s not the chunky kind, you got it), sweet potatoes (duh) and pear cider (who?). Oh, and would you mind skipping the fryer and steaming the bird? You’re a gem.

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