Monday, November 12, 2012


The League of Ordinary Ladies: Goodbye, Jerusalem

Previously: Waterfalls.

Esther C. Werdiger lives nowhere and regrets nothing. 

73 Comments / Post A Comment


NYC will be lucky to have you! How exciting.


We overthink it.@a


my friend who used to live in Israel also has a pit bull! it's...um...a sign?


@nonvolleyball It's a sign... I KNOW YOU WANT ME / YOU KNOW I WANT YA


@nonvolleyball I hope the sheer volume of pit bulls in NYC makes Esther feel at home when she gets here :)

Tammy Pajamas

@nonvolleyball For some reason, I found myself really surprised that there are pit bulls in Israel (??)




@thisisunclear I used to have a "not really boyfriend but sometimes sort of" guy and, of course, he'd periodically and completely disappear (usually immediately after he--not I--made some kind of grand gesture) only to eventually and suddenly "pop" back into my text messages or e-mail with a (what he hopes was endearing) "YOU!" Ugh. I suppose I must have thought something was endearing though because ohmygodIwassostupid!


@Hellcat oh mah gah that is the worst "you!"


@thisisunclear Yeah it is. Never again with that noise, I tell ya.


@Hellcat I would definitely respond well to a message consisting of that. :/


@Ellie Back then (she, a 41-year-old woman, says as if it had been 20 years ago, and not four...an age at which I should have known better), I responded with what I guess I thought was a level snottiness SURE to draw a worthy apology! In hindsight, while it was indeed snotty (and sometimes prolonged), it was probably also incredibly transparent to him. Then, one day (after yet another declaration from him about "giving this thing a real try" from him, as if a switch were flipped, I just got totally fed up and told him to get lost--and meant it! And shortly thereafter, without that guy rattling around in my psyche giving me the dreaded "maybe?-brain," I met the most awesome guy ever. And a couple of months later, when a "YOU!"ish e-mail showed up, I didn't care!

(Though, immaturity eventually got the better of me and I answered that shit in such a matter-of-fact, polite yet sort of scathing (I hope) way that I was actually proud of myself a little. All that was missing was an, "I said good day!")


@Hellcat I'm 25 which is probably too old to not have grown out of this but I still respond with unmitigated delight to anything resembling "Guy I like has acknowledged my existence in the least committal way possible!"


@Ellie Well, I say get your delight where you can, and those little "crush high" moments are fun! However, don't be like me and end up with a wavering mess of a fake BF for way too long!

Also, I still to this day get that delight when my BF does lots of mundane stuff... posts something on FB for me just because he knows I'll laugh at it (even if it's stupid and I've seen it 200 times), the fact that he leaves me answering-machine messages even if he has nothing to say except hi and that he loves me, or texts me a weird kiss-face thing when he wakes up.


Also I have never ever gone through with changing my FB relationship status either, let's start a club.


@thisisunclear Same! I feel like I would only change my status after moving in with someone, or some other big relationship milestone, like dating for year or two (and I have had these milestones and still not changed my status, so). But I have plenty of friends that change their status after seeing someone for 3 weeks!

Lily Rowan

I decided to delete the status, after having it say "single" for a while, so the message that came up for my friends was "Lily Rowan is no longer single" and everyone was like oooOOOOOoooooh!! But at least I only had to go through that the one time....


@sintaxis in my foolish past I have done this because the dude I was dating instigated. never. again.


@thisisunclear I have been with my current boyfriend for three years and we're moving in together next spring (when our leases are up). Neither of us have changed our FB status. I'll probably do it if we get officially engaged? Maybe? A lot of my friends forget to change their statuses to married until a year after the wedding, so I may be like that.


@thisisunclear I admit to changing mine pretty early on but that was three and a half years ago, so whatever now. My thing is that, if we break up, I am leaving it as is for however long it takes me to be ready to answer the inevitable questions and thank "friends"* for the annoying platitudes.

* Those without quotation marks would not need to be notified of my breakup via Facebook, of course.


@thisisunclear I always change mine once I get exclusive with someone, but I delete it from my timeline and make it visible to "only me" for about a week so nobody gets a notification or anything. And I do the same thing after breakups. That way nobody has a chance to like or comment on it, unless in person.


@Lily Rowan Yeah, it helps to just not have a relationship status at all. It removes a lot of potential arguments about being listed as single.


@sintaxis That's a good point. I don't have those but I can see where they might be a thing.

Ours was kind of fun to do only because we went to high school together (in the mid-'80s) and have lots of mutual friends from back then (real ones and the mostly FB-only kind), but somehow never really met each other until 2009. It was like being famous or something for a few hours after the statuses changed--people were all, "Ooooh, hooray--I knew it! Whee! Love! Huzzah!" Strange, but I attributed it to our being two of the very few childless-and-unmarrieds, whom our former classmates may or may not look at as rare zoo creatures.


@Lily Rowan I deleted the "Beeline is no longer listed as single" line AS SOON AS I saw it posted. No one ever had a chance to comment. Now, although I am in a relationship, he and I aren't listed as anything. People can either figure it out by my picture or if/when we post wedding pics someday. Or, maybe I'll use Facebook to send wedding invites?!?!

Faintly Macabre

@Hellcat For April Fool's one year in college, my gay best friend from home and I got into a Facebook relationship. Responses from people who actually knew both of us ranged from "yeah right" to going along with the joke to "No way! Wait, this is a joke...right?" Meanwhile, underclassmen teammates who knew me as private and/or perpetually single FLIPPED OUT. I got accosted with questions about him and our relationship and guilt trips for not telling them sooner--they even told our coach!


@Faintly Macabre Ahahhahahhaaaaa! How long did you keep this going?

Sometimes we want to change ours to single and see what all the looky-loos do*, but then we decided that the barrage of texts and shit would be really annoying. And, secretly (and I know this is so stupid), I felt sad just thinking about it even as a funny/mean joke.

* I really hope I don't sound like some delusional nut who thinks all of FB is riveted by my relationship It's just that we both know a lot of people from high school (I think it's kind of a lot, anyway--but what do I know?) who married each other in their early 20s and and seem to be sort of... stunted, maybe? That sounds really arrogant and obnoxious--like I am so worldly!--but I don't really know a better way to describe it.

Faintly Macabre

@Hellcat Yeah, while I'm sure that you'd get some entertaining messages/comments, that kind of thing always seems like bad juju to me. Pretend one of you is moving to Antarctica for a year!

We only kept it up until the next morning. He and some of my friends wanted us to stage a sudden giant breakup, but I thought it'd be too much work and unbelievable. He is also a giant pain in the ass (which is our main point in common) so alternated between cackling and telling me that my lies and the girls' intensity was creeping him out (they wanted me to call him so they could ask him questions!). Mostly, though, I was distracted by a boy I secretly liked unexpectedly making out with my friend at a party that night, which dampened my enthusiasm for relationship-related hijinks. Womp womp. But it was still fun! Facebook is great for pranks--like shooting fish in a barrel.


@Faintly Macabre Oh yeah, I hadn't even thought of the ju-ju part, which is unusual for me!

I used to co-moderate a message board for my job with another girl there and when we got bored, we'd stage an online fight with each other just to see what the mostly middle-aged male members would say. That was fun...

log lady

@thisisunclear So, my boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years but broke up for a month somewhere in the middle and, rather than change it a bunch of times, i just deleted it. unfortunately, his crazy ex took that as a cue to message him/text him for months on the hunch that he was single, no matter how much he ignored her, so i kind of have to keep my "relationship status" public as a favor to him. annoying!


@thisisunclear the trick is to make your relationship status private and THEN change it ;) my best friend taught me this!


Jerusalem's hottest new club is, "Esther's"! It has everything- dancing, cops, a possibly radioactive pitbull, and hot dogs for everyone at 3:30 in the morning.


@katiemcgillicuddy Seriously that person who ordered the hotdogs is a hero.


@Decca Right? Drunk in the middle of the night is the one time you can truly ignore exactly what is in a delicious hotdog.


@katiemcgillicuddy Burnt just a little and festooned with the least-fancy mustard possible!


@katiemcgillicuddy I am such a moron, I just went to "like" the responses to what I said and I "liked" my own fucking response. Jackass.


@katiemcgillicuddy Yours extra deserves it though, so no worries! Stefon!


@katiemcgillicuddy We need more Stefon references here. Also, did anyone think of "Party Monster" when Macaulay Culkin orders 300 hamburgers?


@whateverlolawants I'm not addicted to drugs, I'm addicted to glamour.


That first comic is EXACTLY how I felt when I left DC. 11 years, man. I like NYC, but I miss DC.


I am super into this hot dog delivery system

Lisa Frank

Esther! As someone who moved from Israel to NYC, I can relate to everything in the first comic (and the second one too, but for different reasons.) What I miss most about Israel is how often I would see my friends and how much time everyone devotes to their friends and family. I also really miss the rooftop parties, and riding my bike along the beach and hummus on Friday afternoons...and going camping in the desert...the bright blue sky and palm trees. (Israeli boys go in the plus and minus columns.) But there are really amazing things about life in New York too! Good luck!

Esther C. Werdiger

@Lisa Frank YES YES YES and thank you!


@Esther C. Werdiger there are rooftop parties up in nyc! it is the best.
i cannot find the 30 rock clip but it's all like
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up in here.

Flora Poste

I just moved yesterday (though definitely not so drastic as Jerusalem to New York) and I'm sitting here in my B&B trying to work out how to find my crowd, so this was really sad (but also nice) to read.


Leave it, Esther!


Hot dogs! On Friday, right as a dramatic cold front moved into New Mexico, I was at the river walking the babydog when three young men, inexplicably barbecuing in sleet and wind, offered me a hot dog.

I guess I live here now?


@laurel did you share it with the babydog?


@Ophelia: I stupidly but politely refused the hotdog! If the babydog had known, well, she'd have been disgusted with me.


Aw, everybody's moving to New York! Soon I will be the only person left in California...


@frigwiggin I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon.


@frigwiggin I'm still here! Moved from NY last year, so hell no I am not doing that again any time soon.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@frigwiggin I'll gladly move to California or NY, if the Hairpintariat needs me to.


i have just moved to NYC and am also trying to find a crowd! there is a pin-up on saturday in the east village if you're interested.


@rowrow Wait WHAT? WHERE?!?!


@rowrow yeah, where??


I moved towns a few months ago and I'm having trouble finding my crowd, too. Like, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I had no one to talk to except my faraway college friends on FB chat. Being shy in a big city=worst

baked bean

Guys, I'm scared to death of probably someday moving to a city where I don't know anyone. I'VE NEVER LIVED ANYWHERE WHERE I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW SOMEONE!


Esther! I sort of wish I didn't have two babies at home because otherwise I'd love to help demonstrate that even though the men aren't as handsome and the kosher food isn't as good (although I did have pretty good shakshuka in Ditmas a while back) as in Israel, NYC will be great for you. I think you'll be a star wherever you go.

Esther C. Werdiger

@HoneyWheeler Ahhh thank you! That is just the sweetest comment.

Cat named Virtute

Aww, Esther, I love the first comic so much! It's one of the reasons I was so thrilled to move back to my hometown this year--it just feels so right to be back where I know all the bars and always have someone to call and can rank the top five veggie burgers and cinnamon buns and Manhattans. It takes so long to establish those things! Good luck in New York.

I'm also sad that I was broke for so long and didn't order a tote in time to get it from Israel with pretty stamps. But I'm not broke anymore, so I will probably get one soon anyhow! I'm pretty excited.


This is so sweet and funny. Good luck with your move -- and don't worry; NYC is going to be kind to you. (Don't be afraid to talk to your neighbors/go places alone if no one is free to go with you/try something new).


I am an ordinary lady, and would like to be your friend when you get to NY! ! !


@Esther C. Werdiger I am late to the Esther-welcoming party but WELCOME to the US! Sadly I am in Boston, not New York, otherwise we could totally be friendsies!!

Esther C. Werdiger

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