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Thursday, November 15, 2012

43

The ChocoVine Chocolate Red Wine Cake

There are a few warnings on ChocoVine's label:

1. Consume with in six months of opening.

2. Store in a cool, dark place.

3. Do not mix with acidic drinks!

4. Grape wine with artificial flavors, cream, and artificial colors.

That last one is most definitely a warning.

ChocoVine is actually quite complex. It starts off with a strong note of Yoo-hoo before transitioning into a deep cherry cordial. Legs of cream and what can only be described as "red wine" then dissipate into an aftertaste of ... metal? It looks suspiciously gray. Store in a cool, dark place where you never have to look at it and consider that you're about to put it in a cake.

Chocovine Cake (adapted from Smitten Kitchen).

Beat 6 tablespoons of room-temperature butter with an electric mixture until smooth. Add 3/4 cup of brown sugar and 1/4 cup of white sugar and beat, about 3 minutes, until fluffy. Add one egg plus one egg yolk, 3/4 cup of ChocoVine, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract and beat until combined.

Meanwhile, sift together 1 cup plus 1 tablespoon of flour, 1/2 cup cocoa powder, 1/8 teaspoon baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon baking powder, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon. Slowly add to the batter (the cocoa will do that annoying thing where it just sorta sits on top and never mixes in but just keep going) and beat until almost fully combined, and then finish the rest of the mixing by folding it together with a rubber spatula.

The ingredients will combine into a suspiciously normal cake batter. You may be tempted to think this will just be a normal cake. I love your optimism! But let's reserve judgment until we actually have to put this into our mouths, okay?

Oh right, you should have had the oven preheating to 325 and a 9-inch round cake pan buttered and floured. Pour the batter into the cake pan, and bake for about half an hour, or until a cake tester comes out clean. Let cool for about 10 minutes, then flip onto a plate and dust with confectioners sugar.

Hats off to a good recipe, because this cake could not be brought down by ChocoVine. Sure, it tasted a little more like Yoo-hoo than I'm sure was intended, but this will not stop you from eating all of it.

Previously: Alizé Gold Passion Pineapple Upside Down Cake.

Jaya Saxena is wondering why these concoctions aren't grosser.



43 Comments / Post A Comment

mooseketeer

I am pleased to see this as I have experience with both Chocovine and the red wine cake recipe! We used chocovine as a liqueur, and substituted it for kahlua in white russians. The result was not horrible.

The red wine cake was pretty good too, not overly sweet so it'd be a good accompaniment to a white russian type drink.

Inkling

@mooseketeer
What what what.
What if I put leftover red wine in my brownie batter (because what else do you with leftover red wine)?

ETA Related Stories: Nope Nope Nope Nope

happy go lucky scamp

@Inkling red wine icing!
basically icing sugar and red wine, which makes all cakes better

danimz

@mooseketeer waitwaitwait - why do you have leftover red wine?!

mooseketeer

@Inkling Put wine in but cut back on oil so the batter isn't too liquidy.

mooseketeer

@danimz I like to buy boxes of wine so no one judges if I drink more or less than a bottle of wine.

Inkling

@happy go lucky scamp
Oh man that's so cool! Will do :D

@mooseketeer
Good idea. Hope it turns out!

@danimz
Bad at being depressed :(

milenakent

You’re a very skilled blogger.@n

The Lady of Shalott

Jaya Saxena is wondering why these concoctions aren't grosser.

Me too, Jaya. Me too. I am truly impressed.

planforamiracle

Co-signed. Yikes.
Also.. am I the only person who has never heard of this 'chocovine' thing? it looks horrifying!
But the cake..

PatatasBravas

MY FRIENDS, FORSAKE THE CHOCOVINE

instead there is an actually delicious red wine that happens to taste of chocolate, and it is called Chocolate Lab, which is adorable. The label has a cute puppy face on it.

Here, drink this, it is from Pleasant Valley winery and it is not a terrifying Yoohoo horrorshow.

hachacha

That cake recipe (with a pinot noir) is my go-to cake for parties and book clubs. I am definitely going to try it with Chocovine.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

I nominate Chocovine for most terrifying beverage available at Walgreens.

mustelid

Okay so one time this Couchsurfer who was staying with us brought us a bottle of chocolate wine. And a bottle of cotton candy flavored vodka. And suggested that we mix them together.

Not gonna lie, it was not the worst thing I've ever had.

fb100003964691892

@mustelid Ah, but what WAS the worst thing you've had?

mustelid

@Ashley Lange@facebook I have an annual holiday cocktail party where everyone brings ingredients for a cocktail. It was a toss up between this monstrosity and Yoo-Hoo mixed with espresso vodka. Clearly my friends have a liberal view of what the word "cocktail" means.

mustelid

@Ashley Lange@facebook OH ALSO QREAM, DUH. God that shit was the worst. Like amoxicillin mixed with vodka.

persnicketier

Last year at Thanksgiving, my fiance forced my family to take "shots" of Chocovine because we had a bottle in our house that we couldn't get rid of. I felt proud of his resourcefulness and guilty for making my family drink Chocovine. Where were you with this wonderful recipe last year???

danimz

@persnicketier Hahaha, I love a man that is not afraid to force your parents to take a shot. Mine could use it.

Megasus

I would definitely have this in cake form, I could not drink it straight.

gobblegirl

I understand trying to find ways to get rid of any Chocovine (which I had not heard of before today, and hope to never hear of again) that you have around...but how does one get into the horrible situation of having any around?
Who buys such a terrible-looking and -sounding beverage? Don't say "gift," because even then the giver must have paid money for it. Money that presumably could have been better used by throwing it off a bridge.

HeyThatsMyBike

@gobblegirl I have a friend who works for a wine company that makes a competitor to ChocoVine (in addition to making actual real wines). It is shockingly popular, and apparently is especially popular in the southeast US, and also in Asia. They are also going to make an Almond Roca wine for the Asian markets, because apparently that flavor is very popular there, and is regarded as being kind of fancy (this is what my friend told me. I have not been to Asia so if you live there and find this to not be true in the least, something something messenger shooting).
But in general, my friend says the company doesn't entirely understand why it is so popular, but if people are buying it, they are going to keep making it.

gobblegirl

@HeyThatsMyBike The Asia thing makes sense, as I know really sweet wines are very popular there. They sell fake ice wine all over the place in China, charging real-ice-wine prices for Baby Duck that they stir sugar into right in front of you.

HeyThatsMyBike

@gobblegirl Yeah, they like can't keep the stuff in stock over there. This company is known for making entirely decent real wines, so they are a little embarrassed by the Chocolate wine, and are concerned about it ruining their street cred, but you can't deny a cash cow!

Amphora

@gobblegirl People who go to liquor stores high. That's how I ended up with a bottle, anyway. It wasn't half bad mixed with hot cocoa, but by itself it was tERRible.

mabellegueule

I definitely have not heard of it and I definitely want to try it. I suspect it is not available in Montreal :(

owlegg

@mabellegueule I'm going to the States next week! I'll keep an eye out for it and then we could have a Montreal Chocovine Pin-Up when I get back...

Amphora

@owlegg My local store carries it in original, Espresso, Raspberry, and Whipped Cream.

Lemoni

@mabellegueule It's available in Canada...in Vancouver, at least.

mabellegueule

@owlegg Wow that would be awesome! Thanks!

We should have a Montreal pin-up either way though :)

fabel

Confession: I have purchased & consumed ChocoVine more than once, on purpose. And liked it.

franceschances

@fabel It must be ice cold to be enjoyed, that's all!

Jessica Kay

Oh, Chocovine. My boyfriend and I just tried it last week. It tasted like straight up cough medicine. Ew!

astrangerinthealps

Chocovine looks like it'd be great for parties, not for the taste but because that hilarious label would start people telling Dutch travel stories and arguing about whether Rotterdam or Amsterdam is the best Dutch city, and then they'd dare each other to try some Chocovine and talk about other scary/weird/exotic things they'd drunk. The host would wake up the next morning to find a single gigantic souvenir wooden clog on the dining table, with no idea how it had gotten there. 

Anninyn

I don't think we have chocovine here. M&S does a chocolate port, but I think it's posher and better quality. But could I use that, instead? Or will I have to get the Thorntons Chocolate Liquer?

onthesideofmyface

I made that cake two days ago, for the first time! It was super delicious, especially with boysenberry-dark chocolate-ganache thingy. Next time I have a special occasion, I'm going to make two of them, plaster them together with ganache, and consider some sort of cream-based topping.

Christopher Volkerts

My couchsurfer bro-in-law brought a bottle of that hideousity into my house. He knows nothing of liquor other than Applebee's so he thought he was being 'fancy' - when I looked in horror at the bottle he said "hey, chocolate and wine? I thought it would be like a truffle" it was most definitely not like a truffle. Unless you drop your truffles in cherry cough syrup and roll them in dirt. Then, yes, exactly like that kind of truffle. It sat in the fridge well beyond the 'drink by' date.

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