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Thursday, November 1, 2012

33

"Something of a desperate housewife" with "something like a sickness"

In the latest installment of The Desire Project, a camouflaged woman with a voice-distorter tells a story of the ex-boyfriend who became famous, which becomes infinitely more serious-seeming with the camouflage and voice-distortion. ("What kind of talk show personality would have an ex girlfriend with a shirt like that?" you might find yourself wondering. Also: "Where is that shirt from?")

33 Comments / Post A Comment

HelloTitty

"My husband has a teeny"....what? Missed that part. Also, "this doesn't take away from my marriage, like, at all". Uh, ok Jimmy Fallon/Adam Corolla/Jimmy Kimmel stalker!

Slutface

@HelloTitty Conan?

laurel

@HelloTitty: "...a teeny bit of a violent flavoring so I really don't want to tinker with that."?! That makes no sense but.

Danzig!

@HelloTitty oh I love my spouse, I just never enjoy having sex w/ him

I mean that's being glib, lots of people fantasize secretly, but every time?? Like if the memory of Tavis Smiley / Carson Daly were to be wiped from yr mind, how would yr relationship fare? That seems extreme to me

Amphora

@laurel So she's in an abusive marriage that she gets through by fantasizing about an ex? Forget the celebrity part, this is DISTURBING.

laurel

@Amphora: I'm not sure that's what she says, 'cause "violent flavoring" doesn't seem like a thing someone would say, but I can't figure out what else it might be. But yeah.

Cawendaw

@laurel "Violent flavoring" is what I heard, too. So, basically for me the video was "I am physically afraid of my husband buzz buzz something about celebrities."
MOVE OUT, LADY!

Slutface

WE CAN HEAR YOUR REAL VOICE LADY!

baked bean

@Slutface Yeah I think if you knew her you'd still recognize her body size/hair/voice under the box. You'd probably also know she was a housewife and her husband was an asshole.

baked bean

@baked bean Why didn't she just put a sheet over her head?

elbows on the table

also it doesn't seem like it's good camouflage.

Linette

I know someone who has something like this problem! He used to have a long-term relationship with Kristen Schaal, and it is super-weird for him that she now is everywhere he looks. He'll be innocently watching a movie and hey! Cameo from my ex! That was startling!

Danzig!

@Linette That's gotta suck. Plus people asking you what their boobs look like? Not very appropriate.

I know a lot of people who went to NYU so invariably you meet folks who... slept with Spike Lee or something*

*Not an actual thing someone has done to my knowledge, Spike Lee's just the first person who comes to mind when thinking of celebrities hanging out at NYU

Linette

@Danzig! It is always a little weird. I used to date an actor who's showing up in a ton of commercials lately, and it is STRANGE to see someone you've boffed appear on the bar's TV behind the head of the person you're chatting up.

Blackwatch Plaid

@Linette This is why you only date talentless actors, as I have.

Blondsak

@Blackwatch Plaid Truth!

Linette

@Blackwatch Plaid I imagine it would be so much worse if he were successful enough to be on a TV show as a regular. I'd be all watching him kiss some actress going, "Huh. That's what it looks like from the outside."

Ragged But Right

@Linette On the other hand, 'boffed' is a FANTASTIC word and there will always be that.

bb
bb

@Linette I dated (slept with) a moderately successful broadway actor who got more and more successful, but less and less good looking. It was surprisingly satisfying (like, you may have dissed me but you aren't that hot)!

Danzig!

@bb Please don't say such things about Mandy Patinkin

Hellcat

@bb Same here (though not really that much with the "dating" part). He was also an A.I. contestant several years ago. I never watched the show but I saw him right there on the TV while I was flipping channels! Oy, I'd forgotten all about him!

screwball cate

Um...I feel fairly confident that if this was someone I knew I would recognize her pretty much instantly, unless she was Superman in which case wearing glasses seems to be enough.

Danzig!

@screwball cate kind of hoping that's a wig. Also it was dark enough at first but the camera adjusted or the light went up or something.

elbows on the table

okay, now i want to know about her shirt. thanks, edith!

everythingbagel

a "fun little activity" that takes up 3 or 4 hours of her day? Yikes. girlfriend needs a job!

lululemming

I have a strong feeling this is a hoax.

bb
bb

can't believe no one is speculating about who he is. Talk show personality? What does that even mean? Josh Groban? all the others I can think of are gay - Anderson Cooper, Neil Patrick Harris, Andy Cohen.. or maybe he's a reality show star, which is like Tim Gunn? (probably many others but I don't really watch that genre). Maybe that's a dude up there and the camouflage is actually really, really good.

vunder

@bb I feel like he's some kind of celebrity expert, like a TV chef or home makeover person or financial expert or medical expert. Because if he is chatting with his fans, I feel like they'd be asking him advice. Or something.

ceeemcee

@bb The radio thing has me thinking Seacrest for some reason. Or MAAAAAYBE Dr. Drew? But she seems too young for that to be right.

baked bean

@ceeemcee I was just thinking Seacrest.

tatianaberg@twitter

This is terrible. Terrible because she feels the need to disguise her identity from violent retribution and her terrible disguise ISN'T VERY GOOD. We can hear your real voice.

Marm

All I can think as I watch this is that artist who did the creepy "I Am Your Grandma" video. Is this art ? Art that is pranking us ?

gemjay

Ryan Seacrest! Is that how you spell it, Internet TV AND radio? Seacrest in!

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