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Friday, November 2, 2012

86

Save the Date*

*Disclaimer: This problem obviously pales in comparison to what others are dealing with, and is just an attempt to laugh at myself a little.

Ten things to do when Hurricane Sandy floods your wedding venue, you’re supposed to get married next weekend, and you haven’t had power in your apartment for days:

1. Google ‘wedding venue is flooded?’ and then have a good cry at your desk at work.

2. Yell at your fiancé, tell him it’s all his fault, and then start crying and hug him and tell him you’re sorry, and that you’re thankful he’s been going back and forth to your dark apartment to feed the cats and keep them from turning into feral monsters.

3. Lie in bed awake from 3 to 5:30 a.m. thinking about ways to get around the three feet of standing water in your venue. Kayak down the aisle? First dance on water skis?

4. Look at your face in the mirror in the morning and, after seeing how tired and stressed you look, start crying.

5. Look at your face in the mirror while you’re crying and feel really sorry for yourself. 

6. Have many chats with your mom about how, in the scheme of things, you’re so lucky. You're fine! It’s only a wedding! Inevitably both you and your mom will start crying during these phone calls.

7. Place a hundred phone calls to different venues around the city to check on availability. While you’re waiting for them to call back, bite all of your fingernails off, then move onto your cuticles and draw blood.

8. Start to go crazy. Is this God punishing me for having a non-denominational ceremony, you wonder?

9. Have periods of intense calm. As your mom always says: It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage. You will keep saying this to yourself as you sit on your toilet that won't flush, mixing your pee with that of the man you're going to marry, somewhere, at some point, TBD.

10. Repeat.

Emma Rosenblum may or may not have her wedding on November 10. 



86 Comments / Post A Comment

Danzig!

Aw :( But in 10 years you're gonna look back on all this and laugh. You'll have good stories.

Also, shoulda filled a tub with water! Voila, no flush troubles

fondue with cheddar

@Danzig! Seriously, wedding disasters make great stories! It's so much more interesting than "Everything was beautiful and went perfectly."

fb100003964691892

@Danzig! Shouldas do a whole heck of a lot of nothing in this situation!

Ophelia

@Ashley Lange@facebook Also, if her tub is anything like mine, the water would just leak out overnight.

SarcasticFringehead

@Ophelia I have been spending a lot of time trying to figure out a solution to this exact problem.

SarcasticFringehead

@SarcasticFringehead I mean, besides getting the drain fixed, obviously.

anachronistique

@SarcasticFringehead @Ophelia You can get bathtub drain covers that are basically a big piece of rubber that suctions over the drain. It won't keep the water in forever, but it helps.

Danzig!

@SarcasticFringehead A nice thick cloth placed the right way does the trick in a pinch but it's obv not a long term solution

mattewmc

entertaining.@t

Elle Marie@twitter

Oh man. I am sending Emma so many sympathetic hugs and hopeful thoughts. I am getting married in 6 weeks and am terrified that something catastrophic might happen. :-/

sugarfree

Yeah! Just think about it: "Kids, not even a hurricane could stop your father and I from getting married!!" That's a great beginning right there!

Worse comes to worst, you can always elope. Under the circumstances, I think most people would understand. It's really not about one day out of your life: it's about all the rest of them together.

breccia

I sincerely do not mean to belittle the craziness you're going through, but getting married in a canoe in a flooded venue actually sounds amazing.

breccia

the whimsicalest of whimsical weddings. pinterest would implode.

Slutface

@breccia Think of all the repins you'd get of your wedding pictures on Pinterest!

bitchycrosstownexpress

Oh, no, I'm so sorry! If it makes you feel better, a friend of mine was supposed to get married on the Hudson the weekend Irene hit last year. They ended up canceling 2 days before the wedding, and couldn't reschedule until after the honeymoon, but they ended up having a super awesome wedding. Also this year they celebrated both their "hurricanniversary" and their actual anniversary, which was fun.

parallel-lines

It rained the morning of my wedding and I had a catagory 5 meltdown, so I can only imagine how horrible this feels. Sorry, it will all be okay--every married lady can back me up on this. Shit will happen, but you get through it all.

slutberry

My sister's friends had to change their venue last minute because the church they were going to get married in GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING

Jane Marie

@slutberry OMG

nonvolleyball

@Jane Marie I know someone who spent the night before his wedding TRYING TO CHASE OUT A BAT THAT HAD INVADED HIS HOME while his fiancee slept peacefully. I could not have handled that.

TheclaAndTheSeals

@slutberry Oh man, I would be convinced it was a sign from God and would attempt to call the whole thing off. When shit hits the fan, I get reeeal superstitious.

Jinxie

@slutberry Are they still married...? Because I think I might've taken that as a sign.

ennaenirehtac

@slutberry That happened to me, too! Venue was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. Plus, a month before that happened, I lost my engagement ring! Luckily there was no third sign, so I married him anyway, Reader, and we celebrated our 2nd anniversary a few months ago.

iceberg

"5. Look at your face in the mirror while you’re crying and feel really sorry for yourself."

I may have done this before.

The Lady of Shalott

@iceberg Me too. After a crying jag I usually like to go wash my face in cool water, because it feels nice, and I ALWAYS always look at my red, blotchy, tearstained face and then it sets me off again because I look so awful.

I don't know why. The mirror is RIGHT THERE, I can't help it.

sherbet

@iceberg I came here to say something very, very similar.

Daisy Razor

Aw, honey! Never, ever look at yourself while you're crying. It just adds insult to injury.

I hope everything works out for you!

Slutface

Hey, your problems are your problems. Sure, there are people dealing with things far worse, but this is what's affecting your life. I hope things work out for you!

fondue with cheddar

Is it too late for water- and flood-themed decorations/favors? Because that would be a fun way to make light of the situation. Floating candles? Little boat centerpieces? BEDAZZLED WELLIES?

Ophelia

Maybe make a quick trip to city hall, and then throw a big party once the power's back on?

JessicaLovejoy

1) Find cute galoshes
2) Wear them to airport
3) Elope

thenewcomer

"Disclaimer: This problem obviously pales in comparison to what others are dealing with, and is just an attempt to laugh at myself a little."

It's so sad that you should have to need to type this out in black and white.

Maybe it could be typed out in purple and orange, to reduce the sadness?

bitzy

VENICE THEME

Tits McGee is on Vacation

@bitzy Just don't go to Venice... they're under water too.

sers1549

Add "watch the episode of friends where Monica and Chandler get married" to the list. And maybe the one where they get engaged because that one's great, too.

thatgirl

I think I have gone past shock and horror and self-pity through to understanding absurdist theater in a way I never have before.

I'm really sorry that your wedding plans are so fucked, but I also can't help but laugh. La cantatrice chauve se coiffe toujours de la même façon.

HelloTitty

BFF was supposed to get married on base, then 9/11 so the base was a no go as venue two weeks before the wedding. She got married at a fire station. It was lovely!

editrickster

@HelloTitty Did they get to slide down the pole? That sounds awesome!

sycofan

@editrickster Well...she got to slide down a pole.

Veronica Lemmons

VFW Hall, baby! Those are often available. I'm so sorry for this giant bump in the road. But yeah -- maybe think about less-than-fancy or nontraditional venues? You'll get through it!

empathicalist

(This just came up in Google Reader, I'm not endorsing)

The Knot's got your back: https://www.facebook.com/events/419020121484436/

Planning a Wedding In the Wake of Hurricane Sandy?
With power outages and flooding, the 4,000-plus East Coast couples with November wedding plans may have to make some major planning adjustments. Share your tips, connect with available venues and get feedback from other brides going through the same thing you are.

East Coast Venues and Wedding Vendors:
TheKnot.com hopes everyone in your family is safe, and that your business has not been adversely affected by Hurricane Sandy. To help bring together those vendors who can help brides keep on track with a November wedding, please post the following here if you have availability/capacity from November 1-November 25 and are in the NY/NJ/CT tri-state area:

Business Type
Business Name
Address
Dates Available
Contact Info (phone/cell phone, email)

roberts rising

Maybe consider eloping. Or rescheduling. Or going to the courthouse. Or realizing you're acting like a spoiled brat. Consider it.

BenIsAGirl

@roberts rising hey hey now... I don't think that's helpful or kind. Why comment if all you want to do is be rude to someone who is struggling through something?

log lady

@roberts rising did you not read the disclaimer she posted? Or are we only allowed to tell our hurricane stories if they are life-or-death, "everything I own was destroyed" type stuff? If you thought this was too bratty to read, you could've just kept scrolling.

redheadedtwit

@log lady Amen! @roberts rising needs to realize that it was supposed to be a funny post, and yes, there are people going through worse, BUT having an event that she has likely planned for over a year get ruined is STILL a valid reason to have a little cry.

octagonfudge

@roberts rising She IS considering rescheduling. Having the day you've spent months planning and paying for being ruined beyond your control warrants being upset, no matter what the Sad Internet Story Police have to say. Geezus tapdancing christ. I'm glad you've obviously handled every crisis in your life with such grace.

Hammitt

@roberts rising Man, that was mean.

I had to cancel a Christmas party I had only been planning for two weeks and hadn't even sent invites for over the weekend, because my dick of a housemate chose that day to move, and I was bummed for probably 2 hours. I would hate to imagine if it were a party I'd planned for a year. No need to be mean about it.

sprayfaint

Emma, I assume you're getting married in NY - no idea the size and scope of your wedding but I recently got married at iCi, a restaurant in Fort Greene, and it was awesome. They were so, so good to us. You may want to check it out.

thisisunclear

@sprayfaint aww, I used to live around the corner and saw some beautiful events there in my day. such a lovely place!

danielle4614

I got married on September 15, 2001 - I totally understand what you are going through. And it sucks. Hang in there - they won't be the memories you "planned" but they will be lovely memories nonetheless. (and it does suck, and you are entitled to be upset). Just please stop looking at yourself after crying - no one but Claire Danes and Demi Moore is a pretty cryer. And it's your big day - only pretty is allowed :)

RationalHatter

@danielle4614 The only thing I disagree with here is the assertion that Clare Danes is a pretty cryer: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/alternative-emmys-2012-7#slide-7

danielle4614

@rationalhatter - wow! I amend my previous statement - not a good look!

Hammitt

@RationalHatter I was gonna say, after an ENTIRE ADOLESCENCE spent watching Little Women on a loop, there are few things I know better than how much Claire Danes is NOT a pretty crier!

RationalHatter

OH NO. You know, when they first started evacuating people for Sandy, this was the first thing I thought of, no joke. I had flown to New York for a wedding that got cancelled for Hurricane Irene... it ended up not being necessary, but the poor bride had an anxiety attack because everything got so effed up. So when I heard that they were evacuating again, my first thought was "Oh, no! Poor brides." [In my defense, Hurricane Irene turned out to be kind of anticlimactic, so I was operating under the same assumptions. But my sympathy for Emma and the other erstwhile brides remains.]

kitchenslut585

Oh honey...I just made up a profile, after months of being a hairpin voyeur, because I FEEL FOR YOU. I know you said it's a non-denom wedding, but have you thought about calling local churches? Those nice Unitarians are pretty chill on the Jesus stuff, and all about community, and might let you in there in short notice for short money. Also a lot of them have their own party spaces, kitchens, etc. Maybe the venue you were originally going to use will send you their catering team and servers...god knows those guys are going to be chomping at the bit to get back to work!

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