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So You Just Now Saw “Prometheus” and “Magic Mike”?

Question: Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah?

Answer: WHAT just happened? That was Guy Pearce? I had no idea. Isn’t it a little insulting to old people to cast a young person in makeup? It’s not like we have scenes with YOUNG old guy, he’s old the whole time! Hire a real old person, already. Many of them have lots of time on their hands. Has anyone ever said “greyface” before? If not, from here on out, just hiring a young person and then making them old on camera is “greyface.” Maybe it’s demeaning to the historical critique of blackface? Okay, we’re just going with “institutional ageism.”

And Fassbender! Wow! Why is he always, like, a sex robot, even when he isn’t? Is Charlize a robot? She can’t be, because of the vodka? But maybe these are Blade Runner rules?

Ugh, the surgical pod thing. Noomi is such a strong person. Wouldn’t you have just curled up in a ball until they doped you to the gills and rolled you into cryostasis? I know I would.

What did we see the hot male scientist in before? OH. “Brooklyn’s Finest.” I saw it at Fake Sundance (they show most of the movies in quote unquote Downtown Salt Lake in addition to Park City) before they changed the horribly depressing ending. Blocked most of it out.

There was a lot of oozing. Things oozed. Faces, wounds, spheres, things that looked like torpedoes. At no point did Fassbender have sex with Charlize, which was mildly disappointing. Okay, now for Magic Mike.



Hope that answered your question.


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