Quantcast

Thursday, November 1, 2012

42

So You Just Now Saw "Prometheus" and "Magic Mike"?

Question: Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah?

Answer: WHAT just happened? That was Guy Pearce? I had no idea. Isn't it a little insulting to old people to cast a young person in makeup? It's not like we have scenes with YOUNG old guy, he's old the whole time! Hire a real old person, already. Many of them have lots of time on their hands. Has anyone ever said "greyface" before? If not, from here on out, just hiring a young person and then making them old on camera is "greyface." Maybe it's demeaning to the historical critique of blackface? Okay, we're just going with "institutional ageism."

And Fassbender! Wow! Why is he always, like, a sex robot, even when he isn't? Is Charlize a robot? She can't be, because of the vodka? But maybe these are Blade Runner rules?

Ugh, the surgical pod thing. Noomi is such a strong person. Wouldn't you have just curled up in a ball until they doped you to the gills and rolled you into cryostasis? I know I would.

What did we see the hot male scientist in before? OH. "Brooklyn's Finest." I saw it at Fake Sundance (they show most of the movies in quote unquote Downtown Salt Lake in addition to Park City) before they changed the horribly depressing ending. Blocked most of it out.

There was a lot of oozing. Things oozed. Faces, wounds, spheres, things that looked like torpedoes. At no point did Fassbender have sex with Charlize, which was mildly disappointing. Okay, now for Magic Mike.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pony.

Hope that answered your question.



42 Comments / Post A Comment

lizardjellybean

From what I hear, there's some scenes that got scrapped early on where you see what's happening in Guy Pearce's dreams, and he's a young guy surrounded by lots of women. But they didn't even actually film that part, I think... So...I guess they just were stuck with Guy Pearce.

Not the WORST problem to have, in retrospect.

SarahP

Yes! I kept waiting for Old Man Guy Pearce to get young again... but I should have known the people involved in this movie don't know about things like Chekov's gun.

lizardjellybean

Also, is it weird that I felt like Magic Mike was still a movie for guys? You know what I mean? Like... even with all the gyrating (which I loved, don't get me wrong), it definitely was not a movie for women.

Probably I could articulate this better? But I just had a nagging feeling the whole time that I was still watching a movie meant for dudes to enjoy.

Megasus

@lizardjellybean Oh no it was totally about modern male masculinity

lizardjellybean

@Megano! Okay, yeah! Definitely. And I felt like I'd been tricked into seeing it, a little, because of how it was advertised.

I do not regret seeing it. I DO wish there was more Joe Mangnananangaanaello. He's a beautiful man.

Megasus

@lizardjellybean yeah, there definitely could have been MORE naked dancing. I still liked it though.

Jinxie

@Megano! I was actually a little disappointed that it wound up being a "good" movie - I was expecting (and hoping for, honestly) something more like: Showgirls 2: The Wang-ening.

perfect_cursive

@lizardjellybean Have to say I HATED the marketing for the movie. I was expecting something light-hearted, a nice romp with scantily clad boys etc etc, but it was way more serious than I was expecting. Which was FINE - I mean, yeah Soderbergh. The marketing drove me crazy because it completely misrepresented the movie. Sure, it happens all the time, it's called marketing. But it was specifically aimed at women, so they decided to push the beefcake and minimize the drama for all us "50 shades o'grey lovers". Ugh it was so gross; to wit: "tell your husband you're going to book club". DIE. I liked the movie, but was kind of disappointed it wasn't lighthearted. Most of the time I want to see indie movies with real things to say about sex and gender politics. Sometimes I want to see Matt Bomer with no clothes on. Both would have been my dream - and I wish the marketing trusted its audience enough.

lizardjellybean

@perfect_cursive YES. I feel exactly the same way. I was just expecting to watch lots of naked dudes being silly. I was a little bit bothered by the whole "tee-hee, women like naked men because they're naaauuughty!" aspect about all the marketing for it. I definitely did not expect SERIOUS FILM. And you're so right- I would definitely have been okay with SERIOUS FILM if I knew that's what I was going in for. But I got bored with it because I was waiting for it to get light-hearted and fun again!

Also. I mean. Alex Pettyfer's character was SUCH a douche. I didn't know if I was actually supposed to care about him at all, but I certainly didn't.

downcomforter

@Megano! Wait but I also feel like it was about the recession and the decline of traditional male blue collar jobs...with a side of sexy.

E
E

@lizardjellybean My boyfriend was curious to see this movie because of those themes from a Slate Culture podcast, and then we went to see it and had a long discussion about what it all meant. But the first time I went to see it, I just did it drunkenly with ladies. I think that maybe its like that rabbit/duck or old/young lady illusion. You can choose to see either side depending on how you context while watching (context not a verb). Could have used one or two more routines! They were all so funny!

noodge

"Okay, now for Magic Mike.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pony."

...all right. maybe it's time for me to see this "Magic Mike".

Clare

@teenie DO IT GURL.

RosemaryF

@teenie What @Clare said. Pony 4EVA.

Anna Jayne@twitter

@teenie PONYYYYYYYYYY

JessAndNo21

@teenie i just messaged my friend whose all-time lifecrush just got engaged to another lady [longest of stories]: "i have an idea. let's watch magic mike and drink all of the wine tomorrow night. pony, beth. PONY."

i hope it works.

we will not be watching prometheus, i think.

noodge

@everyone: I was a sophomore in college when "pony" came out, and TRUE STORY I thought it was a woman singing it until about... 3 years ago.

RNL
RNL

http://dancingalonetopony.tumblr.com/

YOU ARE WELCOME.

swirrlygrrl

Prometheus. Such a waste of my time and money and my love of the franchise. Agreed on the "greyface."

Also, the Honest Trailer for Prometheus spoke to most of my criticisms, plus added a few ridiculous things I hadn't noticed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBaKqOMGPWc

Steph

@swirrlygrrl Yup. That pretty much sums up my reaction... wha?

halloliebchen

OMG I just watched BOTH of these one after another on a plane and this pretty much sums up my reaction. Also, Magic Mike. Also omg. Magic Mike.

thatsrealbutter

I loved Prometheus for the following reasons:
Lawrence of Arabia viewing android root touch up
also Charlize boned Luther! Best choice, in my opinion.

flapadactyl

@thatsrealbutter Completely agreed on both counts

Megasus

BUT IDRIS ELBA TAPPED THAT, and the only disappointing thing about it was that I did not get to see any of it.

Daisy Razor

My best friend's review of Magic Mike: "It needed less talking and more male nudity. Talking was clearly not the strong point of anyone in the movie."

Jinxie

@Daisy Razor Who needs talking when you've got dancing?!

melis

@ANNE HELEN PETERSEN PLEASE REPORT TO THE MAGIC MIKE THREAD

Anne Helen Petersen

@melis HERE I AM WAVING MY HANDS AND WISHING I WAS AT THE SKANKY 'ISLAND PARTY'

Anne Helen Petersen

@Anne Helen Petersen Also I am clearly assigning Magic Mike in my gender/sexuality/media class this Spring.

melis

@Anne Helen Petersen THANK YOU it really bums me out when people say stuff like "there was too much TALKING in that movie tee hee" it for real deserves analysis!

effystonem

@Anne Helen Petersen I wish you could somehow stream your class discussion that day (I was a film major and discussion classes are my favvvvvv why can't I be in school forever?).

E
E

@Anne Helen Petersen What if that meant Olivia Munn would touch your tattoo intimately?! And also, the full length spiel by Matthew McConaughey on education?

antipretty

PONY.

I had my girlfriends over on the weekend to watch Magic Mike and carve pumpkins. We basically ignored all the talky parts until it was time for the dancing.

Anne Helen Petersen

Why Nicole did not embed the Pony clip is beyond comprehension

persnicketier

We also saw hot male scientist in The OC as Ryan Atwood's brother.

There are not enough exclamation points in the world for Magic Mike.

Inconceivable!

Thank you for the reminder that I need to watch Magic Mike again. Very excited to have the ability to skip over every scene with the love interest.

maybe partying will help

I wrote stupidly long blog posts about both these movies. I don't know why I thought so much about Magic Mike*, but there you have it.

*because it was set in Tampa

effystonem

@maybe partying will help I'm originally from Florida, so I am obligated to watch anything involving it...and I feel like the movie captured the vibe of everyday life in Florida pretty well (the non-club scenes, obvs).

maybe partying will help

@effystonem

yeeeesss. I have a strong need to see places I know onscreen and since I don't live in NYC or LA (or Vancouver), I take what I can get. :B

Renleigh

I don't think Fassbender should've slept with Charlize, I think he should sleep with Noomi in the sequel. There was definitely some weird android/human sexual tension between them.

cosmia

I CAN'T READ THIS I WAS GOING TO WATCH PROMETHEUS TONIGHT LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account