(Alternate post title: "It Doesn't Need to Put the Lotion on Its Skin")
At last, an answer to the question: "how can I get that weird gooshy feeling from heavily lotioning my feet and then putting on socks, but all over my legs*?"
*Until six or eight washes. Also, probably you could just lotion your legs and then put on regular jeans, but we're not denim scientists. Maybe it's great! Maybe there will never be an episode of a popular one-hour medical drama about the aftermath!