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Monday, November 12, 2012

40

Genuine Class

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA:

"I was soaking wet and my £900 Prada shoes were completely wrecked.

"When the emergency services arrived they couldn't do anything for health and safety reasons, so we had to wait for an hour before the Southend coastguard came, and the police helicopter, to save us."

...

Speaking at the offices of his cosmetic research company and surrogacy centre in Chandlers Quay, Maldon, Barrie added: "We'd just dropped my daughter Saffron at a friend's so I'm so pleased she wasn't with us, or any of the other kids, that would have been awful if someone had been hurt.

"The flooding caused about £50,000 damage and the car, which was only two months old, has been written off.

"Tony said I did it on purpose because I want a Bentley."

Okay, are we thinking there's a 50/50 chance that these two are NOT super obnoxious, they are just choosing to live their lives as an elaborate performance art salute to AbFab?



40 Comments / Post A Comment

Megasus

This guy WOULD have a daughter named Saffron, CUZ IT'S THE MOST EXPENSIVE SPICE. Ugh.

leonstj

@Megano! - There should be no stigma attached to the name saffron - I mean, it's never going out of style. You should be careful of making fun of saffron, she's a real pistil.

DullHypothesis

@Megano! Maybe they're attempting to breed the next spice girls: saffron, ceylon cinnamon, french cream salt, cardamom and tumeric.

fondue with cheddar

@leon s "I truly thought I was going to die", said 42-year-old Barrie."

His daughter's not the one who's yellow.

allendaniel

positive thinking@a

olivebee

I'm sorry. I must be an idiot because I cannot figure out why they didn't just walk to the side of the road? The water was belly/chest deep and the bank at the side of the road was like, what, 6 ft away (according to the photo)? A helicopter and boat rescue is extremely excessive if the only reason they went on the roof was to spare their expensive suits.

ETA: Maybe the photos are misleading, and they really did need rescuing, but my gut tells me no.

formergr

@olivebee Ha, I pretty much had a similar question. Of course one man's 900 GBP Prada shoes were already ruined, so one can understand why they were worried about the suits.

Ophelia

@olivebee Probably a little of both. Flood waters that deep can have strong and unpredictable currents. My guess is that they probably COULD have made it to the side, but that the standard protocol for the emergency operator is to tell them to stay on the roof of the vehicle. That said, I totally don't know why someone didn't just throw them a rope and drag them to safety.

Blushingflwr

@formergr Maybe the shoes were actually 900 lbs and that's why they couldn't swim to shore

olivebee

@Ophelia Ah, that makes sense. I guess I just assumed the floodwater was standing, not moving, but yeah, in retrospect, I have seen videos of floodwater that behaved like a river.

harebell

@olivebee
The photograph makes it look like they could take a running leap to safety -- it doesn't look all that far at all. But maybe the distances in the photograph are deceptive.

Verity

@Ophelia Yeah, there have been a number of deaths in the recent floods here, mainly due to people being swept away by unexpectedly strong currents. Staying out of the water is generally best.

5bells

@olivebee They mention that it was pitch black out, and it looks like the only lights were coming from rescue peeps. Also the story would not be nearly as fun.

formergr

So the part where they are in the car and the water wooshed around them and then the car spun around while floating certainly sounds really scary, but once they got out and were on the roof, why were they so scared? Do they not know how to swim? If so, that should have been part of the story. Otherwise it just sounds sort of miserable, but sitting on the roof of one's Range Rover in a tux for an hour is not the end of the world. I'm referring of course to this quote, ""We stood on the roof and it was like something out of Titanic.

"It was pitch black, there isn't a single street light around there and it was terrifying, I did think we were going to drown."

Also, I hate that "gay dads" is in quotes in the article. They are gay, and they are dads. Why the quotes?

katiemcgillicuddy

@formergr Because we have to label everything, obviously.

Lustful Cockmonster

@formergr I think they are the "gay dads" because they were the first gay couple to have a baby via surrogacy, it seemed to me that maybe they were known as the "gay dads" way back when by the media and public, so that's how people would remember them?

They are ridiculous, but that doesn't stop me from loving them a little bit.

Lil Sebastian

"Dressed only in their tuxedos."

olivebee

@Lil Sebastian Haha, I love how that's written as if tuxedos=skivvies. Today, I am "dressed only" in my boots, skirt, shirt, and scarf. Gosh, I feel naked!

fondue with cheddar

@Lil Sebastian Were they going barefoot and commando?

lavender gooms

@Lil Sebastian It's after 6 o'clock, Lemon. What am I, a farmer?

5bells

@Lil Sebastian I'm guessing it was cold outside, not that I didn't laugh my ass off. Especially at '"I truly thought I was going to die", said 42-year-old Barrie.' Because apparently I'm a terrible person.

fondue with cheddar

@5bells I laughed at that, too! Really, dude...even if you can't swim you can wade through the water! IT'S NOT THAT DEEP.

katiemcgillicuddy

The photo alone is amazing.

questingbeast

I've read interviews with these guys before (about the surrogacy thing), I thought they seemed really nice. Though yeah, their kids do indeed have ridiculous names. http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/17/gay-fathers-drewitt-barlow

Flora Poste

"on their way home from Essex Fashion Week"... Oh Essex, I love you

laurel

@Flora Poste: Were they stranded on the roof of their Range Rover in their ruined £900 Prada shoes in Essex? Or in wherevuh?

Flora Poste

@laurel In Essex, land of fake tan and white stilettos... I was born down the road from Maldon, and therefore will suffer Essex girl jokes til the day I die.

Guybrush

Alec Guiness

Verity

@Katzen-party "You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it?"

Verity

@Katzen-party "You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it?"

SuperGogo

THERE SHOULD BE AT LEAST HALF A DOZEN "SAFFY, DARLING.." AB FAB QUOTES BY NOW!

SuperGogo

@SuperGogo "Ooo, she's so cold, sweetie! I'll just bet she has her period in cubes."

SuperGogo

@SuperGogo " Not one bloody boyfriend in the whole time that I've known you! I mean, you're not that bloody ugly! What's the matter with you? Huh? Have you read that "Karma Sutra" I gave you? No! That Dutch cap has only ever seen the light of day. I mean, God! Here I am, your mother, poised for your first sexual experience and night after night, dry bloody sheets! I'm sorry, darling, but I don't want a little moustached virgin for a daughter, so do something about it!"

SuperGogo

@SuperGogo "Edina: Sweetie, it is simply the extrication of myself from the burden of sexual norms, and the restoration of my own powerful, and integrated sexuality.
Saffy: An orgy?
Edina: Yeah, that's the one."

Is It a Hat?

@SuperGogo Well this is right up my alley..."Why does everything you wear look like it's bearing a grudge, darling?"

Lu2
Lu2

@SuperGogo How long does it take you to get the crease so crisp down the front of your jeans, you torturer?

5bells

I have no idea how you guys find this shit, but I'm SO GLAD you do. I needed that laugh. Thank you, The Hairpin/Nicole Cliffe. I love this so much I don't have the words. It's just...beyond.

dontannoyme

They sound sweet (and rich). Not sure why they would be super-obnoxious. They have Prada shoes (yuk) and a Range Rover (double yuk) but can joke about really wanting a Bentley. And sweet that they were upset to have wasted the coastguard's time. I want to go to Essex Fashion Week with them.

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