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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

13

Get This Look: Meteorological Events

1. The Sundog

What’s that, you say? Three suns dancing ominously in the sky? Could it be a mystical portent bespeaking the end of days? Could it be the lingering effects of the peyote you stole from your cousin Doug? Could it be ... a sundog? It’s probably a sundog, or, a mock sun. They earn their name for sitting on either side of the real sun, and also for having tails, which seems a little offensive to asocial dogs, or to those born sans waggers. Meaning that what looks to the naked eye to be evidence of an impending apocalypse is in fact just the result of the sun’s rays passing through low-lying ice crystals that act as prisms. So calm down and find solace in the fact that you're being freaked out by an atmospheric phenomenon that once also hella freaked out Seneca and even Aristotle.

Get This Look: 

 The Sundog
The Sundog, featuring a fedora hat

Brat and Suzie long sleeve top, $64 / Temperley London / Christian Louboutin gold heels / Michael Kors / River Island gold jewelry / Fedora hat

2. The St. Elmo’s Fire

St. Elmo’s Fire is when Demi Moore’s crippling coke problem leaves her sobbing on the floor, and it's a nautical phenomenon in which a whole mess of luminous plasma is formed by coronal discharge — which is also how baby ships are made, so you teenage vessels better keep your sharp corners in line with a strong electrical field until you're at least eighteen. Named after Elmo, the patron saint of sailors, this reaction causes a blue flame to appear, sometimes with spooky accompanying sound effects. Although it happens most commonly on boats, it can also happen between cattle's horns. To tell whether or not your cattle have been affected by St. Elmo’s fire, please note whether or not they're running around going, “Getitoffmegetitoffmegetitoffme."

Get This Look:

The St. Elmo's Fire

The St. Elmo's Fire, featuring rhinestone earrings

Julien Macdonald pleated dress / Fendi genuine leather boots / Rhinestone earrings / Goth glove / Hair accessory

3. Ball Lighting

Ball lightning is almost exactly what it sounds like — with one major exception. So, if you just read those words and assumed ball lightning was made of low-lying balls of lightning that appear during thunderstorms, you're totally right. Except for that these things are clearly ghosts. Oh sure, modern science is all “they are just lightning,” but I ask you, Modern Science, is ball lightning still unexplained? Does it still show up in houses all scaring tiny colonial boys? Does it explode suddenly and stink of sulphur? Exactly and also you’re welcome. If you need further proof, there's the most famous incident of ball lightning — in 1638, in England’s Widdecombe-on-the-Moor — when it knocked down the damn doors of a church, went inside that church and was all “I HAVE THE POWER!” because it is prrrobably Satan? (It’s totally Satan.)

Get This Look:

 The Ball LightningThe Ball Lightning, featuring skinny leg jeans

Actual Pain black t shirt, $52 / Tripp skinny leg jeans / ALDO / Crystal jewelry

 

Previously: Cannibals.

Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn. She's an editor at Fempop, and spends a large amount of her time pretending to be a mildly evil cat on the internet.

13 Comments / Post A Comment

frigwiggin

I would wear that Sundog outfit in a hot minute. Except maybe for the Louboutins because a) ouch and b) a Venn diagram for instances in which Louboutins and I intersect is just two separate, not-touching circles.

gobblegirl

@frigwiggin Picture the Louboutin booties with the St Elmo's fire dress.

fondue with cheddar

@gobblegirl HELL TO THE YES.

Hot Doom

@frigwiggin I will happily takes those Loubis off your hands! And also, can we please reattach that tail to the fox? No me gusta le.

Megasus

I want to wear ALL of these but especially the St Elmo's Fire outfit.

fruiting body

You know how Jane says to pick a fashion muse every year? Well, my birthday was yesterday and I just picked "Sundog" for age 28. WATCH OUT LONDON THIS EXPAT'S GONNA GLOW

tea sonata

I WANT EVERYTHING FROM ACTUAL PAIN
Even the hats which I would never wear, just ogle.
In a similar vein, anything from Noctex would also suffice.

Julien MacDonald, I also need that thing in my life like I need some Sriracha sauce. Not combining the two, however. I would end up getting excited and dribbling.

TARDIStime

St Elmo's Fire Dress - *yoink!*

Cat named Virtute

Whoooooah, I am actually wearing a winter weather-inspired outfit today! Dark grey tshirt under a light grey lacy knit cardigan, navy skirt with white polka dots, grey tights, a blue scarf with silver thread stripes, dangly silver earrings and a silver ring with little blue stones.

PatatasBravas

1. this is the first I have learned of a sundog and whoa, amazing.
2. WHY IS THERE NO 'NEXT' ITEM
3. that blue dress, the cow shoes, I want them!

mustelid

Ah, St. Elmo's Fire, the film in which my high school theater teacher, as a glorified extra, had to tackle Rob Lowe.

Kulojam

Oooohhhh - almost bought those red booties (from lightning ball) last weekend. What do we think? They were on sale....

Amanda10

Very great designs, the price is cheap too.
Agarwood oil supplier

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