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Friday, November 30, 2012

446

Friday Open Thread

Well, this has been quite a week. For an unexpectedly moving (or maybe it's just me?) four- or five-minute vintage comic book read before you go, here's an abridged version of "Abandoned!" (from a 1969 installation of Girls' Love Stories), which comes, of course, from the always fascinating (I cannot let go) Sequential Crush. Have an excellent weekend, and we'll see you back here on Monday.



446 Comments / Post A Comment

terrific

HI PINNERS! I'm running the Hairpin Secret Winter Surprise present swap (aka Secret Santa type thing) and today is the last day to sign up so you should do that, ESPECIALLY if you live outside of the US and Canada (but also everyone should anyway).

To sign up email hairpinsecretwintersurprise@gmail.com with the following information:

1. Name and address (can use initials if you don't want to reveal your full name!)
2. Hairpin username (if you want, for personalized goodies)
3. What kind of things you like
4. If you are or are not okay with international shipping

What you will be required to do by signing up:

1. Get/make/thrift/whatever! a cool present for a fellow 'pinner that costs less than $15 (and free is totally fine!)
2. Send it by December 14

I'll get your matches out by the end of this weekend and/or Monday.

carolinaclay

Why .... Why .... Its just. .... WHY !!!!!!@y

wee_ramekin

I may have just fallen in crush with another Service Industry Gay.

Fuck, guys. I can't do this again. #TSG: always remember

*ominous roll of gay thunder*

Decca

@wee_ramekin !!! Details? Cute abbreviated nickname?

Decca

@wee_ramekin And also, I completely sympathise. I only recently got completely over my own Service Industry Gay crush. :/

whateverlolawants

@wee_ramekin Ha! I used to never do this (after spending my high school years in terrible unrequited crushes on gay guys), yet I recently found myself doing it again. It needs to stop.

wee_ramekin

@Decca We can call her CSG (for Coffee Shop Girl).

She's butch and has arm tattoos and likes kids and draws and always works the shift with another cute gay that I slept with. My crush also looks disconcertingly and eerily like a slightly hotter version of my ex (to the point that when I pointed her out to a friend of mine, said friend just rolled her eyes at me. The similarity is uncanny).

Fuck my actual life. Sometimes I wish I could just sever whichever nerve or vein or chemical cocktail glass that connects my brain to my heart. I feel too old for crushes suddenly; it is tiresome lusting after unattainable persons. I am too old for this.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@wee_ramekin Why is she unattainable?

whateverlolawants

@wee_ramekin Disregard my earlier comment. I foolishly assumed you meant a gay man. I echo Rose: Why is she unattainable? She sounds cute.

Judith Slutler

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose YEAH. This!!!

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@whateverlolawants Yeah, for me, all my unattainable crushes are straight women, but even that hurdle can be overcome. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

wee_ramekin

@whateverlolawants Ha! Sorry, I forget that not everyone (in fact, probably mostly no one) calls both gay ladies and gay dudes "gays".

@all She is unattainable because I think she probably has a girlfriend (how could she not she is so butch and cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute) and because she is about to make a really large life decision that is awesome and also incompatible with what I want from my life (I don't want to get too specific; don't want to violate her privacy). And also because she looks so much like my ex and that's probably Very Unhealthy.

Decca

@wee_ramekin Try to think of this as a "situational crush" and enjoy it? http://www.sheilaomalley.com/?p=48724

Judith Slutler

@Decca Mhm. I agree with this. The semester before last, I kept ending up in the uni computer lab at the same time as this gorgeous guy with high cheekbones, big eyes, and a lil afro, always in perfectly pressed dress shirts and perfectly fitting jeans. It was one of those things where we would make eye contact all the time, and eventually we would say hi to each other on the way to or from the computer lab. But, it wasn't like anything was going to happen! It was just like, heyyyyy you, isn't it a little more fun to sit and work on my drawings when a hottie like you is in the room? I love those kinds of pointless little crushes, and I always have.

beerd

I intend to make utterly foolish life decision mistakes this weekend. Wish me luck, and have a drunk to unforced errors.

That should read "have a drink" but I found the typo appropriate.

Weasley

@beerd

That's my plan once my semester is over.

ayo nicole

@beerd Me too. It's gonna be awesome.

Weasley

I have decided to be super lame and not go see a band tonight because 9:30 is past my bedtime.

anachronistique

@Weasley I am currently struggling with seeing a band next week because they're probably not getting on stage till like 11. The hell is this being old shit?

Weasley

@anachronistique

I'm 22 :( I just regularly put too much on my plate.

olivebee

So, I have decided to surrender to the modern age and get a smart phone. Top of my list is the Samsung Galaxy S3*, but I want to hear from people about the phone before I make the [huge] plunge. Pros/cons welcome. Thank you!

*I asked the same question on fb yesterday and everyone responded with snarky, asshole-ish comments about how there is nothing better than an iPhone and droids are the worst blah blah. Not that I think 'Pinners would be like that, but I just want to put it out there that I do not want an iPhone.

meetapossum

@olivebee I don't know about the S3, but I recently got an iPhone after dropping my Thunderbolt in the toilet. It's ok, but I miss the Droid. Basically, you are right and Droids are awesome.

TheUnchosenOne

@olivebee My sister has an S3 and is really happy with it. My personal suggestion would be the HTC One X if you're on AT&T, and if you're with anyone else it would be the S3.

You will definitely want to handle them first, because they are both big phones.

highfivesforall

@olivebee I am very happy with my htc vivid, and my brother likes his htc inspire also - we've had them for 6 months and a year respectively. We got them for free with a renewed contract with AT&T also, which was neat. I don't have experience with other droids to compare, but they seem pretty similar, and I think it comes down to which hardware you prefer/is more reliable.

gobblegirl

@olivebee I have the S2 and like it a lot.

professionalmess

@olivebee I had a non0-Galxay Droid and really liked the OS, even though I hated the phone itself. Is the S3 the one where you can touch phones and send videos and stuff? If so, I think it looks super cool, but I'm really curious to know how you don't accidentally sext people by touching phones. Not that I'm a big sexter, but they clearly promote that on one of the commercials, but what if you touch phones with your boss or mom or something?!?

TheUnchosenOne

@professionalmess You have to specifically tell it what to send.

Marquise de Morville

@olivebee I have an iphone, but for the next one I'd consider a Samsung. My dad has one and I think he likes it a lot. My pro would be: Apple was recently so dickish over patents and I find their decision to change the charger for the future iphones annoying, so I would be happy if you go with another smartphone.

lemonadefish

@olivebee

My husband just got an S3 today. It is huuuuge! but with rounded edges, so it feels nice in the hand. I dutifully paged through the aps a minute ago, and it seems fine? No advanced reviews to offer just yet. (I will stick with my iphone.)

Maladydee

@olivebee I do tech support for cellphones, and I've played around with both iPhones and the S3. For the S3, The screen is bigger, the picture is better, the phone is lighter, and the learning curve for how to use it is no worse than an iPhone.
On the iPhone side, they are so common that if you ever need tech support, it is easier to get help. And more apps available.
Basically if you don't have a strong preference either way the s3 is probably the way to go.
Edited: whoops, missed your last line about not wanting an iPhone. Totally go for the S3. Droid is good and it's the nicest droid I'm aware of. Don't get a blackberry for the love of god.

She was a retail whore

@olivebee I have a Galaxy S3 and I love it. I am a big fan of the Android system, and I tend to like big phones, since I use my phone for lots of non-phone stuff. For what it's worth, I had a One X for a month, but I really didn't like it. It looked great, but failed to impress me on several counts (multiple apps running at once, no external memory, unibody design [I'm big on backup batteries]}.

255
255

@olivebee I have an iPhone and I wish I had an S3.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@olivebee Anything but an LG.
(Personally, I find the S3 to be a bit too enormous for my tastes, but I really like Android. Just not LG.)

squishycat

@olivebee One of the issues with Droid phones is the lack of across-the-board standardization, since most of the phone manufacturers insisted on customizing their version of the software, which is one of the reasons why there are fewer apps. I like my iPhone, but I also have never had any other smartphone because all of mine have been hand-me-downs from my father, and I've honestly never really given any thought to what I would purchase if given a choice. My boyfriend has a Galaxy Nexus, which seems like a good phone, but which bugs out on occasion because he works for The Google and is sometimes running beta versions of the next software update or just some random experimental shit (and he doesn't even work for the Android division). He also did not choose it, though - they just give him a new top-of-the-line phone every year or so because why the fuck not.

Reginal T. Squirge

Portland Hairpin Book Club! We met last Sunday and it was great! There were some new people and they were really cool! You could be one of those new people!

Our next meeting is a little different. We usually meet the last Sunday of every month but I'm going to be out of town then. Rather than miss book club, which I don't want to do ever because I love it, I asked everyone if we could reschedule and it seems cool! So we're meeting on January 1st this time. Always at Liberty Glass, always at 4PM.

Oh, and we will be discussing the second half (or all of?) Stephen King's 11/22/63.

JustAPaperBag

@Reginal T. Squirge I AM MOVING TO PORTLAND TOMORROW!!!!!! Well, we'll get there Monday night. Unfortunately, I am almost immediately diving into studying for the Oregon bar exam, but how do I find more info about the book club? (Some more exclamation points because Portland: !!!!!!!!!!!!)

Reginal T. Squirge

Hey! Ummm... There's a Portland Hairpin FB page and book club info gets posted there. But I don't like FB, so I cross-post info. here for others like me. We also have fairly regular meet-ups, too. I'll come back later today to provide a link. I just don't feel like looking for it from my phone.

Or! You could just act direct questions that I can answer for you!

PatatasBravas

I am eating a package of Milanos for dinner! nomnomnom How about you all?

(and, okay, the rest of my weekend will be productive and good, but I'm allowing myself a night of cookies and wine and catching up on yesterday's Parks and Rec)

yeah-elle

@PatatasBravas I'm eating a teeny baby baguette with olives and Trader Joe's turkey jerky out of the bag because I am soooo tired. But also catching up on yesterday's Parks and Rec, actually.

lemonadefish

@PatatasBravas I am thinking about polishing off the bag of Trader Joe's garlic naan that I started for lunch. Garlic counts a vegetable, right?

Lucienne

@PatatasBravas I had skirt steak and peas. Which makes me sound like a grown up, I guess? So I should also tell you that I'm planning on eating eggless cookie dough and drinking cheap liquor while I watch Parks and Rec and maybe kdramas.

255
255

@PatatasBravas Chicken thigh, olives, half a roasted acorn squash, vitamins, almond milk. Stomach is sensitive after messed up sleep last night. Gut is roiling. This is either a grownup dinner or a scavenged one.

PatatasBravas

@255 You will all be pleased to note that tonight I upgraded to a savory breadpudding, using all my leftover veg!

Acorn squash is delightful. I spiced up a honeynut squash last week and adored every bite of it. I hope your gut was soothed by the squash and almond milk!

255
255

@PatatasBravas OOOOH I want some! I am have a restless night after a weirdly irritable and vv frustrated day. Not going out tonight bc I'm so indecisive about what i want, all I know if I'm feeling crappy. All this to say that I realized I do not have enough food in the house!! Argh! I think I'm going to do eggs and spinach and cheese and potatoes.

lavender gooms

@PatatasBravas Worm Park!

katiemcgillicuddy

Christ, it has been a long week, y'all, but! I get to see one of my best friends from high school this weekend, and I'm exciiiited cause I haven't seen her in two years (lucky jackass lives in the Bahamas). We still get a little confused as to what to do when we hang out, since the option of "smoke an eighth, do whip-its in the McDonald's parking lot, and maybe egg someone's house" hasn't been a viable option in quite some time (although I can definitely think of some houses I'd like to egg).

Hope all you guys have a baller weekend!

Passion Fruit

@katiemcgillicuddy One can smoke an eighth in the comfort of one's own home, can't one? (Ugh, sorry with the "ones.") That plus dinner and a movie sounds like fun to me. Have fun with your BFF!

katiemcgillicuddy

@Passion Fruit Neither of us smoke anymore! She might though, another one of our BFFs is hanging with us and he is still a super pothead, so I wouldn't put it past her. I, for the record, quit smoking because I became well, bad at it. I was once a a World Class Stoner and oh, how I miss my weed. But I've still got my booze, yes I do.

(edited TWICE because it seems I don't know how to use commas)

Passion Fruit

@katiemcgillicuddy Oh Lord, I didn't know one could "get bad at weed." Like people who don't start getting hangovers until later in their drinking career? Saaaaad. Oh well, I bet you'll still have Tons O' Fun! Enjoy!

saul "the bear" berenson

So, what is everyone asking for/secretly dreaming of getting for Christmas? Or Hannukah and other also lovely holidays, ya know.

olivebee

@Moxie My birthday was a week ago, and my husband sponsored a pig named Squeaky at an animal sanctuary/rescue (www.bestfriends.org) in my name for my present, and it made me so happy that now I am tempted to just ask for a different animal for every special occasion where gifts are given. I've got my eye on a sheep named Sebaaastian next.

ETA: Best Friends is the rescue that took in all of Michael Vick's fighting pitbulls for rehabilitation, if anyone is interested in sponsoring those dogs.

lobsterhug

@Moxie The fancy All-clad cookware set off my wedding registry. Or at least a gift card I can put toward it.

More realistically, I'm obsessed with the cloth-bound hardcover Penguin classics series. I have several already, but I want more.

professionalmess

@Moxie I am excited to read your ideas because I have no idea what to ask for. The only thing I really really want (lower your expectations) is a vacuum for my car that plugs into the cigarette lighter. I saw one at Target but didn't get it and I am so sad about it.

discombobulated

@lobsterhug I hope you get the All-Clad! My boyfriend and I spent $650 on an All-Clad set when we moved in together, and I don't regret it at all.

Judith Slutler

@professionalmess I never know what to ask for either!

saul "the bear" berenson

@professionalmess I might ask for a bike helmet from YAKKAY. I lost my helmet, and the ones they make are ridiculously dorky and amazing and over the top baller.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Moxie Oh my god the other day my girlfriend asked what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "To be happy," and then felt really, really emo and whiny. So, I guess the real answer is one of those speaker sets connected wirelessly to my music.

granny squares

@lobsterhug Ooooh, All Clad is the best. I happily stole, I mean, exclusively use all of my SO's All Clad after he moved in. I regret nothing.

frigwiggin

@Moxie I want a stick blender! I asked my boyfriend for one, because half the time he doesn't buy me a Christmas present and then is like, "welllll I didn't know what you wanteeddddd" and I'm like, "bitch, I will provide a LIST IF YOU NEED ONE I AM MATERIALISTIC," but he will probably forget. I am buying *myself* a new bike for Christmas because my current one is kind of terrible and I want a fancy hybrid, and I may as well drop a decent amount of money on something I ride to work most days.

Judith Slutler

@frigwiggin Stick blender = best thing. You will love it!

frigwiggin

@Emmanuelle Cunt

I am going to make so many soups. It will be mindblowing, the number of soups I am going to make.

Maladydee

@Moxie I am secretly hoping to get a pair of good headphones to replace my earbuds. But my family are not big gift givers and this is my first single Christmas in years so I will probably be in charge of buying my own presents.

lemonadefish

@Moxie I want a Case Study Daybed. I'm not going to get one... but maybe I will make one! Maybe I will make a frame and someone will give me some cushions. I can compromise, santa!

Cawendaw

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I'm having such a hard time not answering "the last few years back," so depending on how low a mood I'm in next time I'm asked you may be in good emo company.

255
255

@Moxie Getting into the programs I'm auditioning for. A suitcase full of money. An awesome roommate. My ex to come back to me. To regain my power as myself and focus on my work and work hard. Dude this question. You mean actual STUFF. I have a pile of music scores I want someone to buy me that would be awesome. This question should not be this hard to answer!

saul "the bear" berenson

@Moxie What kind of programs are you auditioning for? Acting/musical theater by chance?

255
255

@Moxie Music programs! YAY music. I think I'm really dreaming of someone to buy me a vacation. Even just a retreat. Or sex. I'm starting to narrow things down.

saul "the bear" berenson

@255 Oh good luck!!! I auditioned for musical theater programs back in the college application days and it was SO challenging but great. Good luck getting all of the above other things as well :)

polka dots vs stripes

This week has been no good and very bad, as has this year as a whole, and frankly I would like to skip all of December and find myself squarely in January 2013. This is coming from someone who loves Christmas.

So this fall I mayyy have neglected my boyfriend for some quality time with people that are not him, and my sewing machine, and I promised him I wouldn't sew for the entire month of December. Which is getting to be incredibly difficult, as I just keep coming up with projects to make!! And several of them are holiday-oriented! And he keeps teasing me and saying I'm going to cave and sew so now I REALLY can't do it...oh hairpin. My life is hard (it's not really that hard).

barefoot cuntessa

@polka dots vs stripes I feel you. My birthday is in a couple weeks and my lovely husband keeps asking what I want to do. I keep telling him I don't want to do anything because shit is so bad, I'm afraid I'll just be faking it. I'd be happy to hibernate until New Years Eve.

sandwiches

@barefoot cuntessa Maybe tell him that you'd like him to bring back your favorite dish(es) from your favorite restaurant, make you a nice cocktail, and have a marathon of your favorite movies/tv shows and maybe buy you a nice sweater/electric blanket/slippers/whatever for maximizing couch snuggliness? Because ...seriously, if you don't feel like having a big thing, you should not be forced to have a big thing!

terrific

I finished my NaNoWriMo novel and it's 50,000 words of pure shit but pure shit that maybe has potential. My sister's reading it and texted me to say she was really excited to find out the explanation behind two plot points... two plot points I completely forgot to address. So.

What are the best guides to novel editing/rewriting? (Note: I'm an editor in real life, but of the journalistic variety, so I've got basic stuff down and I'm looking for stuff specific to fiction/novel-writing.)

Megasus

@terrific Be as objective as possible, and if you can get other people to read it and give you notes, even better.

themegnapkin

Urgh! Another weekend ruined by work!!!

Decca

After seeing that photo of Ira Glass dancing at Jane's wedding, I've decided to revisit some old TAL episodes. Remind me of your favourite past episodes! I just relistened to "Mind Games" and got mad all over again about the asshole Improv Everywhere guy.

terrific

@Decca Where was this photo!?!? Was it on the Pin? I've been totally neglecting reading everything this week.

Decca

@terrific I'm on my phone and can't link you, but it's the TL4EVA post (at the top of the page)!

paper bag princess

@Decca Break-Up!! http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/339/break-up
Mostly just the Phil Collins part, but the whole episode is great.

blueblazes

@Decca Tis the season for all the xmas episodes. Xmas and Commerce!! The Angels Wanna Wear My Red Suit!! But actually my all-time favorite is Bobby Dunbar. Closely followed by the one where Ira tries to teach Sarah to drive. Just don't listen to it while driving because it will freak you out. And I almost forgot the House on Loon Lake. Why do you make me choose?!

schrodingers_cat

@Decca The Santa Wars! Seasonal and also full of grown men behaving like cranky toddlers

Cawendaw

@Decca I love the Planet Money finance apocalypse shows (Giant Pool of Money, Return to the Giant Pool of Money, and Another Frightening Show About the Economy), War Stories (mostly for "What Peacetime Forgets about Wartime") and Retraction (because of the sweet, sweet, druglike high of contact shame).

meetapossum

@Decca I've listened to "Fear of Sleep" about a million times. I also like "20 Stories in 60 Minutes."

iknowright

@Decca 20 Stories in 60 Minutes is fantastic, and I've also listened to Middle School, which I think aired in October of 2011, a ton of times.

I have such a crush on Ira and know far too much about him and his devotion to his dog.

MailerMattDaemon

@Decca I've always liked "Return to the Scene of the Crime," especially the part where Dan Savage talks about his mother and chokes up. Fair warning: not to be listened to while on the subway. Also, it's not holiday-y, but one that's always riveting is Adrian Schoolcraft's story on "Right to Remain Silent."

TheUnchosenOne

My long-distance girlfriend is visiting next weekend and I am extraordinarily excited about that. If you follow me on twitter you would have already seen just how absurdly happy and cute we are being.

katiemcgillicuddy

Oh you guys, I need some recommendations for both "wintery" music and music to work out to, if y'all would be so kind as to offer some suggestions.

Decca

@katiemcgillicuddy Joni Mitchell's Blue. (For winter, not for working out. Though that might be...interesting.)

katiemcgillicuddy

@Decca Oh god, yeah, I love that album. Picked it up on vinyl a few years ago, made it even better. Great suggestion. Ha, yes, that would be an interesting work out.

ayo nicole

@katiemcgillicuddy The Icona Pop EP is full of work out jams!

tea for all

@katiemcgillicuddy Current workout playlist, a mix of embarrassing and awesome:
1. Dragonette, "Let It Go"
2. Carly Rae Jepsen, "Tiny Little Bows"
3. Diddy/Dirty Money, "Yeah Yeah You Would"
4. Haim, "Don't Save Me"
5. JLS, "Hottest Girl in the World"
6. Kelly Rowland, "Motivation (Rebel Rock Remix)"
7. Kelly Rowland, "Turn It Up"
8. m-flo feat. Dragon Ash, "Way U Move"
9. Oza & Vito Dito, "Kawaii (Re-Lectro Radio Edit)"
10. Tune-Yards, "Bizness"
11. Strange Talk, "Cast Away"

i <3 swapping workout playlists.

Decca

@katiemcgillicuddy "The last time I saw Richard was Detroit in '68...9...10 and SQUAT"

Decca

@Decca Also for winter albums, Laura Marling's I Speak Because I Can.

lasso tabasco

@katiemcgillicuddy Mynabirds Mynabirds Mynabirds!!

katiemcgillicuddy

@tea for all Nice. I switch it up a good bit, recently it's been lots of Black Keys, Black Rebel Motorcyle Club (but that's always the case, so) more rock stuff than anything else. Probably my top 5 (not in order) all time go-to's (that aren't TBK or BRMC)
1.)Battleflag- Lo Fidelity All Stars
2.)Beggin' (DJ Pilooski remix)
3.)Neighborhood #3 - Arcade Fire
4.)How You Like Me Now - The Heavy
5.)The Rat - The Walkmen

katiemcgillicuddy

@lasso tabasco I had only tangentially heard of those guys, and am hooked after 6 seconds of the song "Generals". GOOD JOB.

lasso tabasco

@katiemcgillicuddy They are based in my city, I just saw them perform two weeks ago! Amazing. The song "Body of Work" is my favorite on their new album. check it out girrrrrl.
Other Winter jams include anything by Neko Case.

yeah-elle

@lasso tabasco Nekoooooo. Once it gets grey outside, it's Neko nonstop.

EpWs

@katiemcgillicuddy Best song in my workout mix is the MIA/Missy Elliott/Rye Rye remix of Bad Girls. SO GOOD.
edit: here are some badass ladies working it OUT to that song: VOILA

frigwiggin

@katiemcgillicuddy I have recently gotten into Elizaveta and think it's nice wintry music. (Especially "Snow in Venice" if you want to be literal.)

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@katiemcgillicuddy Oh, I love matching music to the seasons! My latest wintry discovery has been Tyler Butler, who makes spare and lovely folk music with a definite winter vibe--he's from Canada and even has an album called Winter Kings. You can stream his music from his bandcamp page (he has a really good free live ep, and you can buy his other stuff). So good (and he's also super handsome, if you swing that way)! As for workouts...I really like the album Anniemal by Annie!

blueblazes

@katiemcgillicuddy Fall always brings out the Shins for me. Shins and Seawolf until until the rain stops.

katiemcgillicuddy

@blueblazes Totally with you on this!

katiemcgillicuddy

@all Thanks for the great suggestions, y'all. Real quick, for workouts, I would be remiss not to mention (if you dig some serious hard rock) the band Clutch. Not only are they crazy awesome, I am from the same place as them, so I can't forget to mention them. For the uninitiated, check out the song, "Electric Worry".

tea for all

@katiemcgillicuddy hahaha I see our tastes are not exactly aligned. i use workouts as an excuse to listen to trashy hip hop and pop (not that, e.g., Tune-Yards is trashy, just the exception to my general rule). thanks for the recs though!

katiemcgillicuddy

@tea for all Oh, I sometimes get down with trashy hip-hop and pop, so no worries there (also, yesss, love Tune-Yards).

Lucienne

@katiemcgillicuddy This is carols, so maybe TOO wintery (or perhaps not wintery enough, but too Christmas-y), but I really like Maddy Prior and the Carnival Band's Tapestry of Carols. And I am looking forward to breaking it out on Sunday.

Reginal T. Squirge

Any of the rap music that's also about selling drugs can be good for working out and winter because it's all basically about putting your head down and getting shit DONE. To be more specific, check out Mobb Deep, M.O.P. and any of the Clipse/Re-Up Gang mixtapes.

Danzig!

@Danzig! ugh that didn't really work did it, stupid html

Mew - And the Glass Handed Kites
Stars - Sad Robots EP
anything on the Silent Season label
Trentemoller - The Last Resort

frigwiggin

@Danzig! Oh, Mew is a good suggestion! "Snow Brigade" is another good winter song, although I wasn't that impressed with the rest of Frengers.

raised amongst catalogs

@katiemcgillicuddy Ooh, "The Rat." Now you're talking.

Bittersweet

@raised amongst catalogs Love all the workout suggestions! My current mix:

Tell 'em - Sleigh Bells
Let me Love You - Ne-Yo
Let's Go - Calvin Harris/Ne-Yo
Without You - David Guetta/Usher
Read my Mind - The Killers
Countdown - Beyonce
Monster - Kanye et al
for situps, Indestructible by Robyn is great.

Bittersweet

@Bittersweet Oh, and good winter music - 50 Words for Snow by Kate Bush. Very season-appropriate.

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin This is super-late but I just thought of another good artist for winter: Zoe Keating. Her cello music is hella atmospheric and pretty. Ditto for the piano album that Tristan Allen did for/with Amanda Palmer.

Bird Internet

I'm spending my weekend sending out resumes, which I am not particularly looking forward to, but I am planning to take lots of breaks for Parks & Rec on Netflix (I'm up to the middle of season 4 and developing a huge crush on Ben Wyatt)

olivebee

@Bird Internet You can't watch P&R and NOT get a crush on Ben Wyatt (and by extension, Adam Scott).

talaria

@olivebee Correct. He is a life ruiner.

iknowright

@olivebee Such a crush, in fact, that you sit through -- and embarassingly enjoy -- Piranha 3D, just to catch scenes with Adam Scott (he is also great on Marc Maron's podcast, where he talks about the movie in his funny wry way).

KatieBarTheDoor

I am happy to be a vegetarian, and I have been for the last 7 years, and I mostly enjoy living in my peaceful, I-mind-my-business-you-mind-yours bubble of food choices. But I often find myself feeling defensive about it. Almost every time someone finds out I don't eat meat-- and this is only when it comes up naturally in conversation, as I never announce it as some kind of character trait-- the person asks me why. "For dieting reasons, or what?" And ok, they're curious, and I always answer, but I'd mostly like to be able to say, "That's not really any of your concern, is it."

I don't feel like I need to explain this personal choice to everyone who happens to find out about it. Especially because then, after I answer with some variation of "It's an ethical decision," half the people feel the need to, like, argue with me or make me question my choices. "But do you eat eggs? WELL THAT IS JUST AS BAD." "Some people have to hunt to survive, you know. Are you saying they should just starve?" "Have you ever owned leather? ...See, you should just eat meat!"

Not to mention those (I'm looking at you, male coworkers) who feel it is their duty to comment on everything I eat. I can't count how many times I've gotten an "Ew, what is that? You need some animal in there!" or "Mmmm, look at this steak, it's so delicious. Don't you wish you could eat it?" There was even a man behind me in the grocery store who said, "You've got a lot of green stuff there. Are you a vegetarian? Vegetables are alive too, you know. They scream when you eat them."

I just wanted to rant a little, I guess. Earlier today I read a Captain Awkward post about leaving our fellow adults alone because they are quite capable of making their own eating choices, and it got me all sensitive. Am I... being weird about it, though? It's not like I'm in constant distress about it, but it does get old. Can anyone else relate?

gobblegirl

@KatieBarTheDoor When you say "ethical reasons," I am guessing that they feel judged, as if you're saying "it's because I'm a better person than you." (Don't worry - I know that's not what you mean!) So they're just insecure and defensive (and also fucking nosy). I got this a LOT when I was a vegetarian too.
If you want to avoid the whole thing, you could try being even vaguer about why? Like "Oh, food choices are so personal, aren't they? It's so complicated and boring to go into."
The other people are just assholes showing off their masculinity. I say respond to them with sarcastic humour and disdain.

whateverlolawants

@KatieBarTheDoor Hey, fellow veghead. That shit is annoying. I'm lucky, because I don't get those comments much. When it does happen, it is so obnoxious. And people think they're so funny and original when they tease us. Ha, no, you're not.

This reminds me that the other day this vegan dude told my vegetarian friend (who he is dating) and me that we're "almost worse than meat-eaters." I normally don't respond too strongly to anyone, but I told him with no uncertainty that that was offensive and ridiculous, and that shit doesn't make anyone want to listen or be a vegan. Is a thief who only does it once worse than a habitual burglar? No.

He did back down a little, but said smugly that he had great willpower and it was so easy to be vegan. Well, it was pretty easy for me to become a vegetarian once I committed to trying it out, but I don't go around saying that condescendingly. What a tool.

somuchsugar

@KatieBarTheDoor OH MY GOD I HATE THAT!!! I have been in the same boat. I try to just temper their comments with a simple "I just don't feel right about it" and try to change the subject... It is so annoying!

olivebee

@KatieBarTheDoor As someone in your exact situation, I relate all too well. I never understood/will never understand why meat-eaters (and yes, it's usually men) feel the need to get all judgmental about vegetarian/veganism and argue with you about it. It happens to my husband and me ALL THE TIME, and I do not blame you at all for wanting to rant. I sometimes just want to yell in frustration and throw my [delicious] fake meat in their faces and be like, "YEAH, IT IS FOR ETHICAL REASONS, SO THE FUCK WHAT? I DON'T JUDGE YOUR CHOICES." But I am too polite.

SarahP

@KatieBarTheDoor A lot of these people think they're just making conversation. My go-to line is something like "That's an issue I've thought a lot about, and if you'd like to have a serious discussion about it sometime, I'd be happy to. But right now I'd like to eat my lunch."

Also, when people comment on my food, I politely remind them that I don't comment on theirs.

katiethegreat

@KatieBarTheDoor YES. As a fellow Katie and fellow veggie, I have little to add except that I feel your pain! A lot of people seem to take my decision about what I will eat as a judgement on what they eat, and act pretty defensive.

dale

@KatieBarTheDoor Absolutely I can relate. If I'm fast enough on my feet, the snarky ones get something to the effect of "because factory farming is cruel".

The spark of my vegetarianism came one night while cooking Hamburger Helper, and I looked down at the cat as she walked by, and back at the pan, and thought, there's no difference, just a cultural one where we say we don't eat companion animals. And that was it. I had to make something else for dinner, and I've never looked back. I'm thankful that most of my acquaintances and friends are not stupid about it, and in fact will sometimes ask ahead of time at a restaurant if it's okay if they have a meat dish while I'm there.

But for the idiot questioners? I don't know. I guess it's just a matter of having some simple, generic responses that might shut a few of them up, and maybe a "look, it's my personal choice, and none of your business" reply for the ones that will not let it go.

olivebee

@KatieBarTheDoor The one time I did feel a bit vindicated about meat-eaters judging the foods that vegetarians/vegans eat as "lacking" was this: My husband and I had a vegetarian wedding, and for months in advance, so many of our relatives (mostly men, again) bitched and bitched about there being no "good food" and how they were going to be soooooo hungry, yada yada. Well, fast forward to our wedding, and a bunch of those same nay-sayers were like, "Wow! The food was excellent!"

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@KatieBarTheDoor I'm not a vegetarian, and I often ask my vegetarian friends questions about their diet because I'm trying to figure out how they stay full. It's not a judgment thing. I just happen to know that I, personally, need meat in nearly every meal or I'm a raging hunger-monster. So, then, I ask my veggie friends: Could I substitute that with other proteins? Would it be as satisfying? How do I go about those thing? It's more of a meeting of the minds.

But vegetarians aren't weird. They just make food choices.

Judith Slutler

@KatieBarTheDoor Augh how annoying! I'm a vegetarian too (there is a complicated rationale here about the amount of arable land that we need to raise 1 beef cow vs. an acre of grain for people to eat etc etc) and it drives me NUTS when people think I am implicitly judging their meat eating ways. My usual thing to say when these discussions come up is just, "I actually don't care what you eat at all" which can be lighthearted or bitchy depending on how you present it.

The whole "mmmm my delicious steak" thing is especially bizarre. I'd reply by telling them how irresistably tasty your lentil soup (or whatever) is.

whateverlolawants

@olivebee I had a coworker like that. He loved debating and thought he was super logical and no one could refute his points. He also had no concept of "different strokes for different folks" or "some things aren't up for debate." Once I told him I didn't want to debate vegetarianism anymore, he shut up for a while. Then he tried to trick me into talking about it by saying he "just wanted to know why I was vegetarian" and he wouldn't argue or debate. I didn't trust him, but decided to take him at his word. (Although why did he care so much???) But sure enough, as I was explaining, he started arguing. I shut down the conversation.

This was the same guy who thought that unless someone was sexually attractive to him, they were gross and ugly, and that everyone around him would be interested in hearing about it.

whateverlolawants

@Emmanuelle Cunt I don't mind when someone sincerely asks me about it (although sometimes I'm not in the mood for a big long discussion about it.) After all, it was partially through discussions with vegetarians and vegans that I came to choose vegetarianism myself.

And I eat all the time, but I did that when I ate meat too, so I don't know what to say about fullness! I often ignore being full and choose to keep eating...

lemonadefish

@KatieBarTheDoor People are so weird sometimes! I almost always answer "why don't you eat meat" with "because it's gross," which shuts down almost everyone immediately.

frigwiggin

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

I wonder about this too! I'm very omnivorous, and I am trying to be better about the ethics of the meat that I do eat when it's not prohibitively expensive, but I also cook and eat a lot of vegetarian meals for myself, and, like, the quinoa salad I had for lunch today was delicious and filling, but a couple hours later I'm clawing through my desk cabinets looking for a snack so I don't feel sick on the way home. Maybe eating more frequently is just the answer.

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@KatieBarTheDoor Gurl....I can definitely relate. I get so incredibly irritated when people notice that I'm not eating any meat and start asking me about it as if it's their business! I have no idea why people feel the need to get up in my face/plate about it. It also annoys me that people stereotype vegetarians as preachy, hypocritical bandwagon-jumpers. I have literally NEVER--in over 10 years of being vegetarian--told a single, solitary person that they should stop eating meat or that what they're eating is gross (not that I think eating meat is gross--I ate meat myself for more than 20 years!), and I am unfailingly polite in turning down meat when I'm offered any (oftentimes not even mentioning the fact that I don't eat it). Yet I have been told countless times, both directly and indirectly (but usually directly!!) that the way I eat is unhealthy, I need meat, I'm not getting enough protein/iron/B vitamins/whatever, or that the non-meat thing I'm eating is gross or weird or boring. It's beyond obnoxious! I really wish all meat-eaters would just CHECK THEMSELVES before talking smack to vegetarians, but I feel like if I did, I would be accused of being too sensitive! AUGH, I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS!!!

So, thanks for ranting (you're not alone!), and thanks for letting me rant!

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@KatieBarTheDoor Dude. Um. I hate how Americans use food as a conduit for all their puritain control issues. Don't get me started. I have dietary restrictions and I hate that I have to feel ashamed of them bc everyone thinks it's their fucking business or it's politics. GET YOUR FOOD POLITICS AND PROJECTED CONTROL ISSUES OFF MY BODY. Though it depends on where you live. Attitudes change. In the Bay Area it's like EVERYONE LETS TALK ABOUT KALE. SO INTERESTING. And while I am eating more kale now, I don't need to discuss it.

fruiting body

@KatieBarTheDoor Ugh I totally feel you. I haven't eaten land animals in ~12 years because I simply don't like it, but people seem to have SO MANY QUESTIONS about my diet after I say, "I don't eat meat" or "I don't eat meat but I eat fish." ... it makes me so angry sometimes. I have enough food issues on my own, thank you very much, I don't need your detailed analysis of what you think MIGHT be going on in my head/body.

smidge

@KatieBarTheDoor I'm not a vegetarian, but a lot of the people I work with like to comment on my food. I don't think you're being oversensitive, because that turns me into a rage monster. Unless you are my dear friend and I am eating bricks of poison, stfu about my food choices.

supernintendochalmers

@olivebee That's so rude to complain about your wedding! It's one meal. Most people have had vegetarian meals before without even noticing it.

I was vegetarian for ten years. I started telling people, "I just don't really like meat." If you really don't feel like talking about your reasons, just stick to something vague. People are insecure and will take it personally if you tell them your ethical objections. Just my two cents!

barefoot cuntessa

@olivebee Re your wedding: I'm a caterer and am lucky enough to work for someone who worships vegetables. It always makes me so angry when people (typically men) turn their nose at the vegetarian options. You know what, most of the veg dishes are better!

But, people are so weird about food choices. Whenever I turn down something with certain kinds of meat in it people ask questions, and the real reason is just because I can choose to poop every day this week, or I can eat this steak. I choose poop, people! I choose poop!

I do have issues getting enough iron and B vitamins. Luckily, thanks to my boss, I have an arsenal of kale recipes. As for long term fullness, eating a variety if grains is a good way. There is so much more than just quinoa. Everyone who wants to cook delicious vegetables and grains needs to go buy Plenty by Yotem Ottlenghi. Now.

(Obligatory apology for lateness to FOT)

mystique

Do any of you keep journals?

I bought the journals of Sylvia Plath off Amazon because they are startlingly relevant to my life (based on GoodReads quotes), and I've kept a journal pretty regularly in the past few months, but in random journals and on my computer and sometimes on pieces of paper I find. I also have a tendency to go to the notebook section of bookstores and pet the notebooks really awkwardly! What about y'all?

SarahP

@mystique I've been a regular journaler since I was 12! (Though there was a patch from 14-15 where I wrote like once every 2 months.) I find I need it, psychologically--it is the best way for me to organize/understand my thoughts and experiences.

Decca

@mystique I've left off doing it for the past months, but I've been a prolific journal-keeper for the past 5 or 6 years. I'm quite an anxious, introspective person and I've found journalling really helps calm me. Plus I write down funny shit my friends say which is so great - I can reread goofy injokes from 2009 that otherwise we all would have forgotten!

I think some of Plath's best writing is in those journals, by the way. Prepare to feel inadequate as a diary keeper!

JanieS

@mystique I am terrible about keeping a journal, but the blank book section of bookstores is my FAVORITE PLACE. They're so empty and glorious and full of possibility. I have way too many, so I really try to avoid buying more(it's hard to avoid molesting them in the store, though).

professionalmess

@mystique This might sound stupid or be way to personal, but what do you write about in your journal? I've been thinking about getting one, but then I feel like I don't want to be boring in my journal, like "Today was boring and I watched Netflix," but maybe I should writing about my feelings or something?

highfivesforall

@mystique I don't keep a journal, but I definitely pet notebooks in bookstores. I think it's part of my general obsession with art supplies - I just like all the potential of a blank canvas, a new brush, or unopened paint!

dale

@highfivesforall Oooo, me too! Stationery stores also have that feeling.

ohnoohno

@mystique Yes. Yes. Yes. The best way to stay sane, draw plants and remember that each day is distinct. I tend to write about the mundane, but occasionally I'll get up to some wordsmithing.

rosaline

@mystique Jumping on because I need advice on this subject!

I kept a journal for years--sixth grade through twelfth, volumes of memories--but then I got so busy in college that I just kind of stopped. I haven't been able to start again--it feel like there's a huge weight of years of things to write about, so I always put it off until when I have time to write about the past 5 years. It's frustrating, because I know I should just start up again--I really enjoy it when I am writing--but I always hit a wall before starting. Does anyone have advice?

BattyRabbit

@rosaline Maybe break it up into blocks? If you have a whole lot of things to write about and they're overwhelming you, arbitrarily (is that really how you spell that? omg)pick one thing and just dive in. Or start with something happening now just to get back in the habit, and when you're in the groove again the past 5 years can finally be tackled. I don't even know if that would address the actual problem you're having, haha, but it's what I suggest.

I've kept a journal neeearly religiously since I was 12, and I find it very helpful to read back into past ones and see how much I've grown and gotten better about certain problems, when said problems feel insurmountable. Unfortunately the journals from ages 12-18 are in a storage building belonging to my ex-boyfriend's brother and will likely never be recovered...but I still have from 18 onwards, and that's the real good stuff, anyway.
The blank book/stationery part of any store is a dangerous, dangerous place for me and my wallet.

whateverlolawants

@professionalmess Confession time. Many years back, I used to read some of my friends' diaries (not proud of that) and I was amazed by how most of them were really mundane. Just from being friends with them, I already knew all of the things they discussed or were worried about. Mine, on the other hand, seemed full of way more dramatic and secretive stuff. Maybe that's just me, though. One friend did write some really interesting, deep stuff.

I don't do that anymore. I felt really bad after a while, and I finally convinced myself it was wrong. But I'm kind of glad I did it, because now I know a little more about what people journal about. And I also know that none of those people are serial killers (or at least, they didn't write about it.)

mystique

@professionalmess I write about my relationships (both romantic and friendship) and things i'm confused and worried about. Hardly ever about what I'm doing that day.

mystique

@ohnoohno Oooh you draw in yours? I love to draw but I hardly ever do it in my journals. What journals do you use btw?

255
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@mystique I am compulsive. Ever since I was 13. I just finished one journal and don't have a backup and I'm panicking inside. I am caught between I adore the act of writing on paper and pen, but I am terrified of losing it. I hate the way typing strips it of the moment, the character, the movement, the kinesthetic. So I use both paper and Notational Velocity.

carolita

@mystique I just had a bad experience wherein a new, aging friend told me something very touching about a relationship she had with someone, a relatively famous man who died after proposing to her, and I thought I'd remember every detail forever. Three months later, I couldn't remember the guy's name, and didn't dare ask her again -- after all, she'd spilled her guts to me. I realized I needed to keep a journal. I've been debating whether to do it online or not. I've been hoping to find an app that might cull all my FB statuses (private and public) into a separate document (rather than going through them all -- and you can't, anyway, you can only go so far back on FB). All this simply because I type much more quickly than I handwrite, and so I get lazy with paper notebooks.

On the other hand, I don't want to only have my "journal" online, or in a cloud somewhere. I'd like a hard copy, too, in a solid, book or notebook form that I can flip through if I want to. Ideally, I'd be able to take FB status updates, tweets, and separately created notes (perhaps entered into a calendar in the app offline) and import them into a book template that would sort them by date, into a printable format that would automatically collate all the entries (even as they accumulated and shifted) into the right places for a printout.

Too much to ask? Hahahaha! I need to get my hands on a developer! Anyone out there up to this? We could call it, "Dynary" or something. Get it? Dynamic+Diary? Or Journius! (Journal + Genius!)

PS - I had to google the lady and root into her past in order to get the guy's name in the end, but it was scary to realize what a sieve my memory really is!

mystique

@carolita Perhaps this would help? http://www.moleskineus.com/evernote-smart-notebooks.html

Cawendaw

@mystique I don't keep a journal, but have you read Joan Didion's essay "On Keeping a Notebook"? I pretty much do that. I can't keep up with an actual coherent narrative diary, but I do have a set of notebooks full of brain leakings, handwriting exercises, shorthand practice, half-written lesson plans, and memorized poetry going back five years. It works as a sort of mnemonic device that unlocks days I would otherwise have forgotten, and I don't care if anyone thumbs through them because none of it means anything to anyone but me.

carolita

@mystique Not bad, thanks! But it still doesn't capture all my facebook updates, a trick which would help me to backdate any journal I start now. And it's kind of expensive! Forces you to buy a new one every three months... blackmaily! And am I the only one who's a little intimidated by moleskine notebooks? I have a ton of empty ones on my shelf, always end up giving them to my boyfriend to play with. But pretty good find, mystique! thank you! Yes, a combo of this kind of thing, plus the app I describe above would be peeeeeerrrrrfect!

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@mystique OMG BRILLIANT! This is exactly what I need!

supernintendochalmers

@rosaline 750words.com! The site's based on the idea of writing three pages (or more) daily, and all your writing is completely private. You can sign up for email reminders and you get badges if you write for a certain number of days in a row. They also have monthly challenges-- you sign up to write every day for a month and set a reward for yourself if you hit that goal. It's great!

whateverlolawants

I was all set to leave the 2nd comment, then I got distracted. Ha.

I don't like it getting dark by 6. But I get the day off tomorrow, which doesn't happen much this season. The world is my oyster! I might go to the pet store in the morning and see if the rescue group is there again with the old chihuahua mix I met last month. I keep thinking about him.

gobblegirl

I went back to school for my Masters' this year, and the two final essays for the term are due today and Sunday, respectively. I have been trying to work on them for weeeeeeeeeeeeeeks, but the whole process has been a disaster. Writing essays is apparently NOT like riding a bicycle, and when you combine that with fatigue-inducing mystery illness and Professor Drama...it's not been a good couple of weeks.
I just submitted the first one after completing it at 2am last night, and I think it's okayyy, but I have am so far behind on the second one. I am so tired, and so worried that this professor is sort of evil (and the program head! Did I mention how excited this makes me?), and my paper will be a disaster. Blurg. I just want to go to sleep and wake up as an undergraduate again.

oboe-d-amore

@gobblegirl You can do it! Good luck! It'll get so much easier after this term, you'll have proved you can do it and will have lots of time to change whatever you need to about your essays for the future.

Summer Somewhere

I met Ellen Forney at a book signing for her new (comic)book, Marbles, and I didn't turn into a rambling puddle of word goo! This is an accomplishment! Plus she signed all four of my books, and I got a Van Gogh Club Crazy Artist membership card. Eee!

area@twitter

Going to a birthday bash this weekend; I'm alternating between being excited and nervous. I don't really know most of the people going, but I'm going to grab my shyness with both hands and get on out there. (also there might be a young gentleman I fancy but am being chicken about there?) Wish me luck!

paper bag princess

@area@twitter Good luck!!

Maladydee

@area@twitter good luck! You will have fun for sure! "How do you know $Host?" = universal icebreaker.

MissJudgeMental

@area@twitter good luck!

area@twitter

@MissJudgeMental @lizzle @Maladydee Thanks for the well-wishes, y'all! Birthday bash was so much fun- really glad I went. :D Take that, social anxiety!

SarahP

Ugh, I accidentally left on (slash didn't know you had to turn off--I am so new and naive in the world of smartphones!) a traffic-detecting app I downloaded last week and it drained my phone battery to almost NOTHING and now I can't make my normal Friday evening phone call home :(

par_parenthese

@SarahP I seriously do not even know how to turn off apps and I feel like it's jacking my battery real bad. And possibly my data usage? Anyway LUDDITES.

Maladydee

@par_parenthese if it's an iPhone, double-tap the home button ( the circle button on the bottom) and it shows all the apps that are running. Press and hold an app to make them each get a red circle in the corner. Tap the circle to close them. Then, you can tap any other part of the screen to go back to normal.

Also I talk to customers at work all the time who don't know this stuff, it's not a dumb question. An app shouldn't be using data when it's just running in the background, though. But every time your phone gets an email or gets Facebook updates or whatever, that uses a little bit of data. It's usually NBD unless you're roaming though since roaming is $$$.

par_parenthese

@Maladydee HERO. <3.

somuchsugar

I am just complaining! I am so annoyed by co-workers. I work so hard and am so busy all the time, and because people know I will do the work and do it fast, they are always coming to me and assigning stuff to me... I look over and others in my dpt. are just IMing or on FB, which makes me so mad... (THey are all men, which I'm not sure why I am noting but I wonder what the pay discrepancy is....) I can't say anything to manager of course, that would sound like whining... but I am super stressed all day long and hectic-ally busy, and they just whiz by! Sorry for complaints!

4and20blkbirds

@somuchsugar Can you tell them no when they give you something new without jeopardizing your job? Suggest that they ask someone else in your department? Either that or talk to your manager about getting a raise since you're obviously a valuable employee.

VDRE

I just submitted all of my graduate school applications! I'm so relieved but SO panicked. I've had like 10 small panic attacks when I think I uploaded the wrong essay to the wrong program. Good times!

thenotestaken

@VDRE Ahh I'll hopefully have two big ones in tomorrow! Just waiting on my one reference who has sworn up and down that he'll have his letter in tonight--he better!!

VDRE

@thenotestaken I almost had a fit when I emailed one of my recommenders yesterday about her letter and got an automatic out of office reply. But then her PA emailed me and submitted it so it was okay. Good letter vibes to you!

Valley Girl

@VDRE Good luck! I have to do all my applications still :(

oboe-d-amore

@VDRE Good luck!

anachronistique

I got my IUD put in today! It hurt! But now I'm home and I survived it and assuming nothing goes wrong I don't have to worry about birth control for YEARS. (I got the mirena in hopes of less hellish periods.)

lobsterhug

@anachronistique Man, does it hurt! I found that I was extra crampy after moving around for a while. Taking the stairs seemed to set it off. But now, no periods!

selahselah

@anachronistique Yay! Congrats! I got my (copper) IUD in 2008 and am still really happy about not having to worry about birth control until 2020, even though it sounds less like the very distant date in some post-apocalyptic sci-fi novel than it did when I was 20. I was staying at a B&B in Belgium, and the first thing I did was get a Tripel beer and the second thing I did was get a Belgian waffle and the third thing I did was go back to the B&B and get in the hot tub and eat/drink the above and celebrate my IUD-day. (It was also my first encounter with a speculum/gynecologist, so I was pretty proud of myself). I hope you're celebrating yours!

lemonadefish

@anachronistique Yay! I loved mine so much. I was kind of bleedy for a couple months, but then nothing for years! wheeee!

lasso tabasco

My coworker's husband was killed in a car wreck yesterday morning. Please remember to hug and love on the people you care about today, and everyday.

whateverlolawants

@lasso tabasco How awful. I will remember to do so.

vunder

@lasso tabasco Wow, how awful and sad.

MissJudgeMental

@vunder how terrible. I will. Life is too short to hide your big feelings.

Danzig!

@MissJudgeMental seriously! But most people don't really like it, so we got to stick to partners and family, I guess

dale

I still don't have my notebook project book. I hope it's coming! Forcing myself to doodle for a few weeks will be a good thing.

In followup to previous Friday threads...I got my sewing machine back and I think I know what the problem was when it jammed up (badly-wound bobbin thread and/or top spool not cooperating), so I probably could've fixed it myself but at least now it's clean. Additionally, my serger is pretty nifty (though my bank account is very sad after buying it) and is definitely making fast work of the seams on my hobbit shirts!

And tickets have gone on sale for the Oscar Party hosted by theonering.net, and I am sad, for I do not have the money to afford a trip to LA. Why, I ask again, am I not independently wealthy?

katiemcgillicuddy

Listening to The Black Keys I realize what a massive crush I have on Dan Auerbach. Watching him play guitar is...I can't even.. Seriously, watch the music video for "Little Black Submarines".

/faints

lasso tabasco

@katiemcgillicuddy I saw him from so very close up at Lollapalooza this year and OMG I just..... I could barely stand to look at him. Rawr

vunder

@katiemcgillicuddy I really liked his solo album from a few years ago. Have you listened?

katiemcgillicuddy

@vunder Yeah, great stuff. Loved the whole thing, "Whispered Lies" and "Heartbroken, In Disrepair" were a couple of my favorites.

lasso tabasco

Also, I am having trouble choosing a quit date for my cigarette addiction. I know that there will NEVER be a good time, but the Holidays just seem like the Worst Time.

PatatasBravas

@lasso tabasco Vowing Jan.1 and actually starting Jan 2. is the classic maneuver!

like a rabid squirrel

@lasso tabasco From my own experience, I'd suggest quitting when you have a large and all-consuming project to work on, if possible, to distract yourself - in which case the holidays (with more down-time than usual, presumably) might not be the best time. It all kind of depends on when you're most likely to crave a cigarette though, I suppose.

katiemcgillicuddy

@lasso tabasco In fairness, I realize telling you to quit now is what I should probably do, but yeah, the holidays are stressful enough, and if I'm being honest, I know I'd probably never be able to do it. I smoke like 5 cigs a year (usually on like New Years or something) so I'm way past the point of addiction, but I know how rough it is to quit (did it a few times!) So my possibly bad advice is to enjoy them smokes now, and then when January rolls around give it your best. When it's cold, it's easier to want to avoid going outside (although, something about winter cigarettes, is there not? CRAP I'M NOT HELPING) I kind of lucked into quitting, it just sort of happened eventually, but part of the way I did it was scheduling smokes? I scheduled it down from 10, to 5, etc. I stopped smoking in the morning, then waited til the afternoon, then waited til I was done with work for the day. Oh, AND! Buy those little guys! Those mini cigarettes I think really helped me over time, you'll be surprised how satisfied you'll be after one. Good luck!

katiemcgillicuddy

@katiemcgillicuddy (To be clear, I was once a pack-a-day smoker, so I feel you. When I said work down from 10, I mean after having worked down TO 10.)

MissJudgeMental

@lasso tabasco my friend is scheduling them and cutting down and I hear it's working.

LacunaKale

Ugh. I've got hulu going in the other window and its showing that horrible listerine ad. Close up of mouths, so disgusting.

I made carnitas and tortillas for dinner. The tortillas were disappointing, but these carnitas are amazing. Even, yes, amazeballs.

gobblegirl

@LacunaKale Hmm. Aren't carnitas usually amaze-halfmoons?

stonefruit

Tomorrow I have a heavy day of napping, reading, and lounging about planned. I'm actually stoked about the recent rainstorm out here because if there is anything better than snuggling into a nest of blankets and pillows and when it's grey and rainy outside, I don't know what that is.

BattyRabbit

@stonefruit There is nothing that is better than that! Enjoy it soooo hard!

par_parenthese

@stonefruit Agreed. I actually am more likely to be pissy if Saturday is sunny and pretty because I feel guilty that I'm not going outside to run in the park or frolic generally. I want nice thundery drizzly Saturdays so I can curl up with tea and records and books and blankets.

255
255

@stonefruit Don't know where you are but the rain here has been pretty awesome.

granny squares

Hello! I finally became brave enough to sign up for an account after reading for ages (I think the open threads plus the Scientology articles finally did it). Hope your Friday evening is lovely and full of cheese or other vice of choice.

katiemcgillicuddy

@granny squares Welcome to the Thunderdome, friend.

discombobulated

@granny squares Funny you should mention it, I'm having fondue tonight. Hi!

stonefruit

@granny squares Today my vice seems to be Little Debbie Marshmallow Pies. They are so very wrong, in the best way.

Citizen Cunt

I think I am having a nervous break down.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Citizen Cunt Oh, hello. If you are for real, I'd suggest talking to a medical professional or a trusted friend or a mental health professional. If you're using it as a euphemism for being overwhelmed and out of control, well, let's break that down.

255
255

@Citizen Cunt Details. Let us help!

Danzig!

@Citizen Cunt yeah I been there. Do what the lady Rose said. Don't listen to yr own impulses, Just treat it like jumping off the high dive. Don't even think about it, just call someone

Citizen Cunt

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Yes, thank you. It's more of the latter. I've been having the hardest month. My grandfather died and then my husband decided it was the perfect time to tell me we don't have sex enough for his taste (we have been together for 8 years and married for 1) and it's a deal breaker for him. We've been fighting terribly and it's so exhausting. We started therapy together and THAT's exhausting. I just think maybe it's not going to work in the end and it's making me super sad because he's not a terrible person; I'm just not as affectionate as he is.

Also I'm terrible at conflict and dealing with it although trying to get better. But we've just had some rough fights (threatening divorce, name calling which is later denied NOT BY ME THANK YOU VERY MUCH, throwing shit) that I'm just sure if I can't get over some of the things that were said to me.

He also said there is no such thing as equality in a relationship. Which disturbs me deeply.

I am just completely despondent over this.

255
255

@Citizen Cunt I have been there literally a year ago. My grandmother died, I flew back overseas for the ceremony, before I left husband decided to have a monster fight about money, and when I got back my husband lost his mind in couples therapy. I STRONGLY recommend going to al-anon (don't let the g-d stuff turn you off), they teach about detaching and tons and tons about being able to care of yourself in relationships and they have a wealth of support (phone lists) for this trying time. Lots to learn there about conflict. I also recommend going off on a retreat on your own to process all of this. Go for at least 4 days. Not like a spa but a silent retreat or a meditation retreat on your own, not with friends or anything. You will find your way through. I have been through this so... if you want to email or talk on the phone lmk.

Citizen Cunt

@255 Thank you for your kind words. I hadn't thought about al-anon, will give it some consideration. It's funny you mentioned the retreat because I was actually planning on one, so it's good to hear that you recommend doing one. I'm lucky to have a wonderful one an hour's drive from my home.

I'm sorry for what you went through but it's an enormous comfort to hear from someone who was in the same situation. Thanks for reaching out.

255
255

@Citizen Cunt Glad you found it helpful and it's great to hear from you. The great thing about meetings is that they are in every city, you can go to as many as you want, most all meetings have a phone list so you can call/text/email people for support all the time, and they want you to. It's this army that is just waiting to support you. Just a suggestion.

Yes about the retreat. See you already know how to take care of yourself, and keep that instinct safe. You will get through this. Keep reaching out.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Citizen Cunt That's some unreal pressure you're dealing with. I hope, above all, that you're keeping your safety the priority here. While I'm definitely not involved and have no idea about the nature of your relationship, the picture you've painted makes me worried that these fights are headed past emotionally and verbally violent and to physically violent. Again, just a worry from an Internet stranger who only knows two paragraphs about you, but still. Stay safe.

More than anything, you sound so, so tired. I feel you on that, as I'm going through a sort-of similar situation (fighting with partner of six years; my father is very sick), and more than anything, I want to not be tired. If you can, take some time for yourself. You can't fix your husband, and you likely can't fix your relationship with him unless you're convinced that you are worth it. Take care of yourself.

rimy

I want to be productive this weekend. Thinking of ways to hustle and bring in a little extra cash - ideas?

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

I'm going to a Tegan and Sara concert next week, and I'm so, so excited. That is all.

katiemcgillicuddy

Best/most ridiculous concert you've ever been to, GO.

lasso tabasco

@katiemcgillicuddy TOM PETTY

whateverlolawants

@katiemcgillicuddy Best: Probably Girl Talk. Been 4x, the last one was probably the best since my boyfriend came along. Most ridiculous: I'm going to see what others say. It will probably jog a memory. I've been to so many concerts I can't even think of an answer right now.

Judith Slutler

@katiemcgillicuddy Most ridiculous: Retro Stefson. It was summer at a festival in a big dark tent building thing, it was incredibly hot, one band member of theirs is just the "hype man" who stands off to the side teaching the crowd how to do cheesy disco dance moves, the band encouraged the audience to take off their clothes, and everyone who had a water bottle eventually ended up dumping water over our own / other peoples' heads. Total madness.

I honestly can't pick a best concert though!

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@katiemcgillicuddy Most ridiculous: Gaga. Best: Brandi Carlile acoustic set in a tiny theater in Montana.

Decca

@katiemcgillicuddy Earlier this year, a girl I worked with was like "That old disco band, Chic, are playing here next week, anyone up for it?". I decided to go along cause we'd assumed it'd be kind of fun in a dorky retro way. And holy shit, it turned out to be the best concert I've ever been at.

katiemcgillicuddy

@all Very Nice. For me, I think the best concert I ever went to was The Mars Volta for my birthday a few years back. It has to be the single most incredible show I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot. It's like they came from space to bring us the music of the future, they are seriously impressive (and even if the music isn't you bag it would hard not to be impressed). Most ridiculous, I don't know, there have been a few, but when I was 19 me and two of my pals drove like 9 hours to Detroit to see Eminem, like 10th row (when all he had put out so far was great) Missy Elliot threw Adidas sneakers to the crowd, Eminem dumped water all over us, and he and Fiddy drove into the stadium in like, a tank. I recently saw James Blake as well, and that is one hell of an experience.

granny squares

@katiemcgillicuddy Best: hard to pick, but U2, She Wants Revenge, and Garbage. Most ridiculous: Smash Mouth, right at their peak. I was in middle school and it was my first mosh pit. At a county fair.

yeah-elle

@Decca Ahhhh Chic! I can't even imagine how awesome that must have been. Good Times! Everybody Dance! Le Freak! Everyone must have been dancing their legs off.

Judith Slutler

@granny squares Your description of that Smashmouth concert is hilarious. County Fair Mosh Pit

ohnoohno

@katiemcgillicuddy Stereo Total & Flin Flon, 2000something.

lalaura

@katiemcgillicuddy
Best: Beck and the Flaming Lips at the Copley in San Diego, 2004ish
Most ridiculous: Can I just say Coachella?

frigwiggin

@katiemcgillicuddy Most ridiculous/best: Man Man. There were outfit changes, forks thrown in the air, jumping around, asking crowd members to hold the mic stand, all sorts of nonsense. They played the SHIT out of that concert, and their energy level astounded me. I was exhausted just watching them. (Plus, you know, the music was good.)

katiemcgillicuddy

@lalaura Coachella is an acceptable response.

@granny square Middle schoolers, mosh pits, and Smash Mouth. Ah, the beautiful stories of childhood.

Decca

@yeah-elle Yes!! And the deal was that they also played a bunch of songs Nile Rodgers wrote for other people so we got pretty much every Sister Sledge song as well, and also "Let's Dance" (Bowie), "Like A Virgin" (Madonna), Notorious (Duran Duran) and some Diana Ross, etc. At one point my friend drunkenly sobbed in my ear "so...many...hits!". Best dance party ever.

yeah-elle

@katiemcgillicuddy Best: Leonard Cohen. Or Belle & Sebastian. or Neko Case when I saw her for free in Golden Gate Park and the sun was setting behind her, lighting all her hair up as she sang, ahhhh.

Most ridiculous: that would have to be one of the 4 or 5 (I've blocked the memory) times I saw Bright Eyes as a high schooler. Although I certainly liked it at the time.

Valley Girl

@katiemcgillicuddy I saw Hole for my 16th birthday and my sister and I got up onto the stage and I kissed Courtney Love on the cheek. She was wearing a tube top and bandaid pasties that made a surprise appearance.

lisma

@katiemcgillicuddy Most Ridiculous: Chubby Checker at a Hilton in Laughlin. I was maybe 15 and there with my friend's family. Never have felt so out of place.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Valley Girl Well then, I do believe you've won the game.

the roughest toughest frail

@katiemcgillicuddy Most ridiculous: Tenacious D. Bigfoot showed up and played a killer guitar solo and was shot to death with Nerf pellets.

Best is a toss-up ... Kishi Bashi maybe? Or The Gossip. Or Wu-Block. I don't know how to define "best"!

dtowngirl

@katiemcgillicuddy Best: Tie between White Stripes/Florence + The Machine. Most Ridiculous: Tie between Spice Girls / NSync.

OhMarie

@katiemcgillicuddy I went to a Sugar Ray/Orgy concert once. ('MEMBER THEM?)

In my defense, it was free.

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@katiemcgillicuddy I want to preface this by saying I used to see tons of cool indie bands back in the day, but a concert that was ridiculous and surprised me by being completely wonderful was...WEIRD AL. It's pretty embarrassing, but I saw him play at Klondike Days in Edmonton, Alberta (which has a trashy state fair vibe goin' on big time) in the mid '00s, but it was seriously probably the most fun I've had at a concert.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Katzen-party Actually not the first time I've heard that about a Weird Al show! He seems like a genuinely kind, intelligent, and funny guy, so good on him.

whateverlolawants

@dtowngirl Oh, I forgot I saw N*Sync in August 2001. A friend won tickets from the radio. It was ridiculous. I was kinda over them by that point, but I still went and had a decent time.

TheLetterL

@katiemcgillicuddy Sophie B. Hawkins. With my dad. In the jeans section of the local Macy's. (During her brief stint as a Levi's spokesperson)

katiemcgillicuddy

@TheLetterL I don't even know what to do with that.

TheLetterL

@katiemcgillicuddy '99 was a weird time.

Maladydee

@katiemcgillicuddy Rammstein. So much fire, it was great.

meetapossum

@katiemcgillicuddy Most ridiculous was totally Monotonix. If you haven't seen them, you should. At one point, the whole band was being held up by the crowd and playing their instruments in the air.

Danzig!

@katiemcgillicuddy Swans! I'm in this documentary about it, very briefly. See if you can figure out who I am - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sdOvQjtUrg

She was a retail whore

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Brandi is amazing!!!! I think that Jason Mraz at Carnegie Hall was the best concert I ever went to. He played for three hours, my nephew jammed out, napped, woke up, and jammed out all over again. The people in our row sort of adopted us and kept giving us free candy (not sure why, but it was cute). Mraz started exactly on time and played until he hit the mandated Carnegie hall playing deadline. There was so much positivity there, it really made me aware that underneath our exteriors, New Yorkers are mostly really big-hearted. Close second: Matisyahu in Montreal, on the coldest day of the year (-40 F/C). It was a huge freaking ordeal to get there and back to my apartment, but that show was totally worth it.

The most ridiculous concert I ever went to was in Virginia, the week after 9/11. It was a country show with a bunch of lesserly famous bands (Montgomery Gentry were headlining), and the atmosphere was really weird. Everybody was walking around in shirts with Osama Bin Laden's face in crosshairs, and a few performers were like, "I don't care who was responsible, let's just head to some Arab desert company and shoot a whole bunch of people." The concert depressed me even more than being away from home when this happened already had.

smidge

@katiemcgillicuddy Most ridiculous: Creation Fest, the Christian music festival they hold every year at the Gorge. Best? umm...New Year's Eve with a swing band in Chicago. I can't remember the name.

Barry Grant

The best is X, each and every time I've seen them. They sing and play their hearts out. Special notice for the Knitters too. Ridiculous was the Boomtown Rats, headlining over the Pretenders, who blew them off of the stage. BR looked and sounded like someone had told them what a rock band should be like, but they'd never actually heard any rock music.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@katiemcgillicuddy
Best: Any of the Cat Empire concerts I have been to in my life. (I have been to multiple because the first one turned me into a fan almost instantly.)
Most ridiculous: My friends and I drove 2.5 hours to an 80's night: Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and Rick Astley. Yes, for real. No, not in the 80's. More like 3 years ago.

Atheist Watermelon

I'm going to see Dylan Moran on Tuesday! I AM SO EXCITED

frigwiggin

@Didldidi Ahhhhh lucky! I hope he does the hair thing.

Atheist Watermelon

@frigwiggin just spent 15 minutes trying to find that great clip from BB where he is trying to pick up the girl in the restaurant and keeps sweeping all of his greasy hair over to one side like the combover from hell just so I could post it here but fail!!!

If that's not the specific hair thing you meant, i have the feeling his hair is always doing something pretty special...

frigwiggin

@Didldidi AHHH, I love that scene. Oh Black Books, never change. I was actually thinking of his bit about "Irish hair" from...one of his routines, I forget which one. But basically anything he does will be perfect so you can just sit back and enjoy the ride.

katiemcgillicuddy

This is the place to bitch about sports.

The Wizards are 1-12! We won the last game. We are so awful, and we play the old as dirt Knicks tonight and yet I have a bad feeling. So old, in fact, that they haven't practice since November 14th old!

area@twitter

@katiemcgillicuddy Oh, Wizards fans. I'm so sorry for y'all. I'll light a candle.
Two big footsball games this weekend in my hood! Steelers/Ravens at 4, Skins/Giants at 8. I have high hopes for the Ravens game, particularly now that they've pulled Roethlisberger. I'm a little (ok, a lot) more leery of the Giants, but RGIII seems to be riding some momentum. We'll see...

katiemcgillicuddy

@area@twitter I feel good about the Skins, our boy Bobby G (I decided I'm not big on RGIII, he apparently isn't a big fan of it, so I'm going with this) is kiiiilliiiingggg it, and yeah, Giants would worry me more than the Steelers, especially after they roasted the Pack. Steelers with an old Charlie Batch just aren't the same.

area@twitter

@katiemcgillicuddy Is he down with Bobby G? I can roll with some Bobby G! Yeah, Steelers do not concern me near as much as Eli and the Giants (although are Giants really 7-4? I thought they had a better record).

katiemcgillicuddy

@area@twitter They had a bit of a struggle there, losing to the Steelers and then Cincy, add in a bad opener against Dallas, but they seem legit. Bobby G is what I started calling him drunkenly on Thanksgiving, so I'm just running with it. He told the rest of the guys on the team not to call him RGIII, just Robert, he doesn't seem comfortable with the flash and commercialism of it. I just figure, what's more American Apple Pie Football Star than Bobby G?

katiemcgillicuddy

@katiemcgillicuddy Actually, so I can trademark it, duh, I think I started using it earlier, but spent a lot of Thanksgiving yelling "BOBBY G FOR PRESIDENT", so.

meetapossum

@katiemcgillicuddy Yeah, I have no complaints (yet) because of the Giants being awesome last weekend (finally)! I don't know about this weekend, though. They do a great job of disappointing me.

@area@twitter One of the only benefits to being a Giants fan right now is that the rest of the division is kind of terrible (sorry, 'Skins fans!)

katiemcgillicuddy

@meetapossum Responding to two threads: A.)The Monotonix show sounds AWESOME/NUTS and 2.) SEE YOU MONDAY NIGHT G-MEN.

discombobulated

@katiemcgillicuddy The Phillies have won a game more recently than the Eagles. THE PHILLIES. Their season ended IN EARLY OCTOBER. I'm going into sports-hibernation until April or Andy Reid gets fired, whichever happens first.

katiemcgillicuddy

@discombobulated Since I am obligated to hate all Philly teams, I had no choice but to like your comment, BUT. That is brutal, man, I feel for you. Don't worry, Andy Reid being fired will happen waaaaaay before April.

talaria

Can someone tell me why I left my panoply of Trader Joe's Christmas desserts at home instead of bringing some into work with me so that I am not left feeling bereft around.. oh, right about now?

lemonadefish

@talaria Becasue you were feeling virtuous this morning when you didn't pack them? That is always what happens to me...

talaria

@lemonadefish No, I think it might be a looooot more selfish than that.. I have a feeling it was because I didn't want to have to share with my boss, or look like a pig when I sat and worked my way through two boxes of cookies and a block of chocolate alone.

I wish I was feeling virtuous. Virtuosity has been missing from my life of late.

stonefruit

@talaria So that you could eat yourself silly with peppermint-stick JoeJoes when you get home tonight as a reward for making it through another Friday??

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@talaria I always think I'm being so good and healthy when I forgo bringing a dessert to work, then I spend my last 15 minute break at the drugstore up the street and end up trying to surreptitiously snarf down two candy bars at my desk. So...I feel you.

talaria

@stonefruit This is exactly what I intend on doing. And when that's done I have the ridiculous box of different chocolate covered cookies. GOODBYE, DINNER, I HARDLY KNEW YE

Faintly Macabre

@stonefruit DON'T MENTION THOSE! I have a whole pristine box from last year sitting in my parents' cabinet, and I am across the ocean from them. Peppermint Joe-Joes are one of my favorite things. (I especially like to take peppermint No-Pudge Brownie mix and stick broken mint Joe-Joes all over them, and then devour half the pan with milk!)

whateverlolawants

To work on New Year's Day or not?

Pro: Time and a half!

Con: Would only be for like 6 hours or less unless I want to be there all day, which I don't.

Pro: I get paid for a holiday anyway that week. So if I work on the holiday, it's extra money. Or actually, it means I just have fewer hours that week, since they don't like giving me overtime. Either way, it's fine.

Con: I might like to have the day off? Boyfriend is not responding to my call about whether he wants to do something that day.

lemonadefish

@whateverlolawants Depends on your plans for New Year's Eve! There are many NYDs that I would have been totally unable to work. I always like days off, but if you'd have to work the hours some other time anyway, you might as well get the extra pay?

whateverlolawants

@lemonadefish I thought about it and decided I like extra money/less working, so I'll go in at noon. I usually don't get too trashed, and even if I do, I'll survive.

fruiting body

@whateverlolawants I say go for it. I worked at Starbucks for 4 years and I always volunteered to open on New Years day - it was great because there were hardly any customers and I got to leave at noon, which was when most people showed up. And time and a half.

(But I'm also a curmudgeon so going to bed on a holiday early never bothered me.)

lemonadefish

Hello! Employment etiquette question:

I interviewed with a really exciting firm yesterday (several friends and I used to have discussion based around who would get to work for them, much like the discussion I remember from my youth about who would get to marry Brad Pitt - you know none of you ever will, but wouldn't it just be amazing if you did?). It looks very promising! However: it is a very, very small company, and I will be 14 weeks pregnant when I would start in mid-January. I did inquire about maternity benefits during the 'what benefits would you like' portion of the interview, but I did not say that I would have an immediate need of them.

So -- am I obliged to tell them that I'm pregnant in the next week or two, when we are (I do so hope) negotiating the terms of my employment? Even though that would be before the official 12-week telling-all-the-people time? I don't expect to be offered more than 6 weeks off (same as my current job), but that could still be a really big deal for such a small company. I just don't want them to thick I tricked them into hiring me I guess? But I also don't want to blow my chances for an awesome job... Thoughts??

rosaline

@lemonadefish I don't feel qualified to answer this question, but my instinct is it's not relevant beforehand, but probably good to mention it when in the offer stage (crossing my fingers for you!) in an upfront and understanding yet nonapologetic way. Then they'll be able to say what benefits you could get and you can decide if it works for you. And I'm certainly not a lawyer, but I believe that they can't discriminate against you because of a pregnancy, so it doesn't seem like they would be able to rescind their offer simply because you had disclosed your pregnancy.

Maybe this will help: http://articles.businessinsider.com/2011-12-02/strategy/30466519_1_job-search-pregnancy-new-job

Either way, congratulations. :)

Marquise de Morville

@lemonadefish Don't tell them, since they are not allowed to ask? Especially if you are not beyond 12 weeks yet (but of course I wish that everything will go very well and that you'll have an awesome job and baby next year). Assuming you have a desk job you should be able to take off 6 weeks. What if someone gets hired and develops some longterm illness? I don't think it makes a difference that you know in advance. (An acquaintance of mine was interviewed and hired when she was 8 month pregnant.)

Some places only offer maternity benefits if you worked there 6 months before you need them, so that would be something to check? Same thing for health insurance, which may not cover pregnancy as a pre-existing condition if you were not covered before you started? I hope this is remotely useful.

up cubed

@lemonadefish Don't tell until at least a month after you have the job. They probably won't be happy when you take maternity leave soon after starting, but you'll still have an opportunity to contribute to the company before and after your leave.
In my experience with smaller organizations, it can be super awkward for many months if people (especially your boss) don't react well to the news. They need enough advance notice to plan your leave into the project timelines and find a temp, but 2-3 months of notice is adequate for that. Of course, by 6-7 months of pregnancy, they could probably guess what is up.

vunder

@lemonadefish I don't think there's an easy answer to this question, but I personally think you should disclose during the offer/negotiation phase (not before that stage though). Even though you are absolutely not required by law or professional etiquette, I do think not telling makes an initial impression that you haven't been forthcoming, which I think can make other things subtly difficult for you later on. I think if you come in with the impression that you take your job and responsibilities very seriously, it makes them more accommodating and happy to have you. That's my 2 cents both as a manager and as a less-than-12-weeks-pregnant person.

vunder

@lemonadefish You may find this interesting: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/15/quandary-considered-pregnant-with-a-job-interview/

Especially the part about companies with under 15 people being exempt from pregnancy discrimination in most (not all) states. I still think what I said above about first-impressions, but it's certainly not a clear cut case.

lemonadefish

@everybody
thanks for the discussion! I think telling during negotiations sounds the best to me - in my industry, there isn't really such thing as temps, and I'd be almost entirely responsible for a project that's going out right around the time I'm due, so it just seems really shifty to wait until after I start to let them know. It's well under 15 people, so they could handily discriminate against me for it, but I think I'd almost rather not get the job, than get it and have them be upset from the get-go -- because then they could totally fire me in a couple months, and then I'd have no job at all.

TheclaAndTheSeals

@lemonadefish Congratulations!

Ask a Manager addressed a very similar situation a while back. Lots of good advice here and in the comments: http://www.askamanager.org/2008/11/job-hunting-while-pregnant.html

frigwiggin

My mom is visiting this weekend! I am excited, and we will probably go to the Thai restaurant where she used to work and also see Hitchcock because we are fangirls. I am a little nervous about her seeing my boyfriend's and my house, though, because growing up, she always kept everything at least surface-nice (despite her saying that she sucks at deep cleaning), and while things are tidier at our place than they used to be, it's still kinda messy. And I know she won't say anything or be judgy or anything, I just want to...look like a capable adult in front of her? I want her to be proud of me! Ahhhhh.

lemonadefish

@frigwiggin have you ever looked at http://unfuckyourhabitat.tumblr.com/ ? It might help you to make some easy and noticeable cleaning progress before she gets here. But I'm sure she's proud of you anyway, and you will have a lovely time! And bring home lots of leftover Thai to have for breakfast, and I will be jealous of you.

frigwiggin

@lemonadefish Oh yeah, I love UFYH! I plan on doing some 20/10s tonight, but I know my boyfriend's going to tease me a bit for hiding the no-place-for-it junk in the basement so I can pretend we're clean. He DGAF about what anybody thinks, and is of the opinion that my anxiety is silly. BUT HE IS THE SILLY ONE CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN

area@twitter

@frigwiggin @lemonadefish I just wanted to say that I checked out UFYH last night for the first time based on your suggestions/discussion. And then binged on it like I would on good cheese. Sparkly text! No-nonsense advice! SO MANY CLEANED-UP HABITATS.
Best of luck with cleaning! Enjoy your mom-time!

Megasus

ugh, so I haven't applied a job for like 3 months BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TOO BUSY WORKING ON ALL THE STUFF I DON'T GET PAID FOR. :(
OK no, it's only been about a month and a half, but that's still too long.

rosaline

Medically-knowledgeable Pinners: can we talk about the Sequential Crush story at the top of this FOT?

Is walking around to stay awake REALLY a cure for overdosing on a dangerous number of sleeping pills???

little sausage

@rosaline

Not really medically-knowledgeable, but I'd really doubt that? That's not actually counteracting what the pills are actually doing to the body.

area@twitter

@rosaline Nnnnot really, I think? Not a doctor, but the Merck Manual (merck.com/pubs) says treatment is mostly observatory, with protecting the airway and carefully monitoring respiration. There's apparently a drug they can use to counter barbituates, but even then they just let people sleep it off. It's probably better if that's happening in a hospital where they can watch you carefully/get you oxygen and such as needed.

runner in the garden

@rosaline I don't know, but... Peter is basically the spitting image of me in a double-breasted green suit.

In looks, I mean. Not behavior. I hope.

meetapossum

@runner in the garden I thought he looked familiar.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

Did anyone catch the premier of Love You, Mean It on E! this week? If I'm not mistaken, Jane's husband is Whitney Cumming's sidekick on the show. He's so great!

iknowright

@OhMyGoshYouGuys I did see it, but I didn't realize it was him! I do remember them both talking about her in a very fond kind of way, so that's sweet.

Unfortunately Jane's husband being on her show, along with Mindy Kaling and Casey Wilson, suggests that Whitney is not as awful as her shows would lead one to think. In fact, I sort of liked her here? Especially the way she genuinely laughed at her guests' jokes and seemed super enthusiastic and happy and engaged with everyone. I wish her other shows weren't so racist/sexist/unfunny, but if Love You, Mean It had been my first impression of her, I might like her.

martinipie

I just had a job interview that I think went really well for a job I SUPER WANT!!! I was the first candidate interviewed though so now I just have to sit on my hands and wait like a week. Wish me luck pinners! Is anyone else job-huntin'?

Amphora

@martinipie Congratulations! I hope you get it!

I just finished my first week at a temp job and there was so much to train on my head is about to explode. Hope I don't forget it all by Monday.

Puppy in a cup

@martinipie Good luck! The waiting is the worst, time just crawls by. If they saw how excited you were about the position, I'm sure the chances are good for you :) Let us know how it goes next week!

lemonadefish

@martinipie
Did you send the interviewer a thank you note? It's a chance to look on top of things, and get your name in the front of their mind again. Good luck!

lisma

Does anyone have any advice on getting an MFT?
I studied music and minored in Education in undergrad, so I don't have much experience in psychology. The school I'd like to attend has recommended that I do some volunteering prior to submitting my application but I'm wondering what else I can do to beef up my chances.

paper bag princess

I just saw Anna Karenina and I feel like I want to talk about it! I really enjoyed the movie visually, I thought the setting and the costumes were interesting and unique.
But I think I hated the story? I don't know. All I knew going in was that it was about a lady named Anna who cheated on her husband, so I obviously don't know anything about the book. Was I supposed to feel sympathetic to any of the characters? I didn't, except for Bill Weasley (Constantine or something? I couldn't get anyone's name straight) and the princess. At one point I whispered to my mom, "It's very obvious that a man wrote this book" because I felt like everything was supposed to be Anna's fault and all of the women were terrible.

Has anyone else seen it yet? Or want to talk about the book?

oboe-d-amore

@lizzle I don't know anything about the book either, but I LOVED the movie. Just, the visuals/costumes/conceit of the whole thing. Oh, the theatre conceit.

Although I didn't find the women particularly more terrible than the men. And I loved the subplot with the farmer and his wife.

255
255

@lizzle I don't think I can see it because the book is so incredibly profound. It is life awakened and real and alive on the page speaking and talking and reaching into me.

""It's very obvious that a man wrote this book" because I felt like everything was supposed to be Anna's fault and all of the women were terrible."
No no no no that must be the movie. Trust me! There's no moralism, it's very empathetic... it's very REAL. It's hard to describe the very PRESENT in the Buddhist sense that Tolstoy writes.

I think you should definitely read the book. All your issues are solved there. OMG I love that book so much.

Lulu22

@255 I feel the same way! I read it a few winters ago and it was the perfect winter-reading-immersion experience. There's a whole, real, wonderful world in those pages, so much life!, and I just can't bring myself to see the movie because how could they possibly do it justice? I'm not even saying it couldn't be a good movie, but after reading the book I just can't imagine not being disappointed.

frigwiggin

GRRRRR why are the comments brokennnnn

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin Oh good, they got fixed and now I look like a dork.

katiemcgillicuddy

@frigwiggin It's been giving me shit all evening, it makes me crazy when it happens cause I'm trying to make dinner/talk to people around me/watch basketball/dick around, so not being able to respond to people quickly is hella irritating.

255
255

@frigwiggin I opened Safari, restarted Chrome, restarted my computer then I realized Chrome had shut off plugins. Though why it wasn't working on Safari I have no idea. Now I'm posting like mad. Withdrawal.

PistolPackinMama

@frigwiggin But you are OUR dork!

Danzig!

@frigwiggin I'll say

oboe-d-amore

I got engaged about a month ago, which is awesome, but I had to leave the country due to visa-job-money things, which is not. :-( So I'm lonely and miss her.

par_parenthese

@oboe-d-amore Oh nooooooes! So sorry! Visa-Job-Money things are always always stressful.

par_parenthese

Dear THIS GUY, will you marry me? <3 u.

frigwiggin

@par_parenthese Oh wow, his penmanship is beautiful (duh, friggy). Mine is so crabbed and awkward, I would be ashamed for him to look at it. Do not agree with the "bloom where you are planted" idea, though, because where I was planted is a terrible and boring place to bloom.

par_parenthese

@frigwiggin LOL! Where I was planted was also terrible, but in the same state where he lives? IT IS FATE. WE ARE FATED TO BE TOGETHER. FAAAAAAAAATE. (Where I am currently blooming is way better than where I was planted, but then again I suppose I could say I planted myself here, and I'm blooming here dammit.)

frigwiggin

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING TODAYYYY

I am wearing the all-nylon, pink and orange foliage-and-giraffe-print button-front shirt my blogging friend Gracey sent me in the mail, and I feel like a fucking rockstar. (Or like a member of the Brady Bunch because of the giant pointy lapels. Either way.)

BattyRabbit

@frigwiggin I'm wearing glittery shoes that I looooove because they have gotten me so many unexpected compliments! Example: I was waiting for a 'walk' signal at a crosswalk today when this big burly dude in a dirty pick-up pulled up next to me and honked at me. I hate being honked at so I turned towards him and gave him my best what-do-you-fucking-want bitchface but he just pointed down at my feet and said 'I like your shoes, girl!' so then I was just :D :D :D That happens at least once a day when I wear these shoes. They are great. The end.

katiemcgillicuddy

@frigwiggin I work at a pool/rec center deal so I was wearing a bathing suit, shorts, sweats and flip flops, which is boring, but now I am wearing a T-shirt from 1st grade that says GOD'S CHAMPIONS because it makes me laugh to wear a T-shirt from first grade that says GOD'S CHAMPIONS (it was from Vacation Bible School).

par_parenthese

@frigwiggin OMG I am so glad you asked!! Green jersey dress, leggings, NEW BOOTS!

whateverlolawants

@frigwiggin A black lace cami with an eggplant cardigan over it. Gray dress pants. NO BRA! This may be the first time I didn't wear a bra to this job, but it won't be the last. (No one can tell under a thick suit jacket, not with me anyway.)

Time to change into going-out clothes: loose turquoise sweater, colorful scarf, tight jeans, and flat lace-up boots. Have a good night!

Faintly Macabre

@frigwiggin Pajamas most of the day (plaid flannel pants full of holes, striped Uniqlo top, moth-eaten cashmere sweater from Goodwill that is one of my most prized possessions), and then I changed into a grey cotton H&M top (too small because I got it for 1 euro at a market), black wool cardigan, black wool wrap skirt, black tights, and black ankle boots to meet friends for dinner. BUT I offset some of that black with a rainbow wooden bracelet from Costa Rica, a magenta-and-purple watch, and magenta felt earrings. Oh, and after dinner, one of my friends said I was brave/crazy/foolish to take the metro in a skirt and tights, which was kind of weird!

lemonadefish

@frigwiggin WOW your shirt sounds AMAZING! I wore jeans and a purple T shirt and red and purple sneakers to work today. When I got home I tried on some maternity jeans that just came in the mail (which I really should not need yet!! but kind of do) and they are so comfortable, I might never take them off. And also an ugly christmas sweater printed sweatshirt, which is new, and has that extra soft feeling inside.

par_parenthese

@whateverlolawants No bra, oh man, so jealous. I would kill to be able to leave my house braless. Sigh...

LacunaKale

@frigwiggin Most of the day I didn't have to leave the house, so grey Maggie's Organics leggings, LL Bean flannel, and ragg wool socks. Oh yeah baby....

frigwiggin

@whateverlolawants Oh my god, I love freeboobing at work. I haven't done it in a while, I should wear my trendy new blazer on Monday and let 'em fly free.

PistolPackinMama

@BattyRabbit I have sparkly disco shoes like that, and the same thing happens to me! Yay shoes and compliments!

Maladydee

I have exciting news! I just applied to university yesterday! (I'm 26, never been to university or college before.) it will take forever because I have to work my way through school, but I am finally going back to school! (uhhhhh assuming I am accepted. I mean my grades in HS were ok, so I am trying not to get into the nervous, "what if I'm rejected?!" Headspace and just be excited)

teebs

@Maladydee Awesome! I'm 28 and in college. Good luck!

like a rabid squirrel

Does anyone have experience with Healthgrades? I feel like every time I look up a doctor of mine there, they have a below-average rating, but I can't really get any information from the site without signing up (and paying a fee, apparently). My GP referred me to a GYN who is in his 70s, male, and rated at 2.5 stars on Healthgrades. I'm not opposed to male doctors, or older doctors, but I do fear "old school thinking" when it comes to this topic. I'm feeling like I might call and request an appointment with a different doctor, but I wanted to get a sense of what the "grade" on Healthgrades actually meant.

lemonadefish

@like a rabid squirrel I do not have any experience with Healthgrades, and I agree that older doctors are sometimes not up on current things, but I have found that they were trained to actually examine patients, whereas many of the younger doctors I've seen like to sit across the room and throw pills at me (not literally, but might as well be...) So, food for thought... Maybe go see him, and if you don't like him, make a different appointment next time?

mollpants

Does anyone have Tumblr?
i'm lonely on there I'm new on it and would looove some funny ladies to read!

pixieg

@mollpants boomvagynamite.tumblr.com wheeeee!

meetapossum

@mollpants I'm meetapossum.tumblr.com. Pinners are the best people to follow on Tumblr.

tea sonata

@mollpants I don't write a great deal, I'm a chronic reblogger of pictures, but I'm parafractal.tumblr.com if you so desire.

area@twitter

So apparently bullshit medical treatments like "alkalinized" water hit my rage button dead center. (I both work in medical research and owe my life to modern medicine, so...) Anyone want to hang out and scream about clinical ethics?

thenotestaken

@area@twitter not exactly on topic, I work in research, and one of my coworkers had his thesis picked up by the science media and spun COMPLETELY out of control. they are making up quotes and crazy extrapolations from his original study, and it's all so WRONG it makes me furious. so I will scream about science media ethics here, and a general hate of bullshit in general.

area@twitter

@thenotestaken WARRGHHHH. No, good, I welcome this rage. Irresponsible reporting is total bullshit. Good science writers/reporters? You folks who talk about the nuances and subtleties involved, even when you don't get a good headline out of it? You are my heroes.
Can I ask what his topic was? I'm thankful that I work in a "boring" disease (asthma/COPD) because we don't get the crazy media attention.

thenotestaken

@area@twitter Hormones and behavior--his original study was related to phytoestrogens in animals and it somehow became 'tofu good for your sex life!"

area@twitter

@thenotestaken ::facepalm:: SCIENCE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY

teebs

Me and my girlfriend broke up last night and it sucked. She was my first real girlfriend as an adult. I'm feeling lots of feelings today, though I know ending it was the right thing. She was emotionally abusive and controlling and manipulative. All my friends hated her for good reasons. But I'm still sad.

OxfordComma

@teebs : *hug* I am so sorry.

Do something silly this weekend?
That tends to help me feel a little better when life is shitty.

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@teebs I'm sorry. Ending that first real adult relationship is so difficult. And it's so hard when you know it has to end and you're glad it ended but you're still really sad about it. I hope you have some good friends/good booze/a good amount of alone time/whatever makes you happy or can distract you (however fleetingly) from the bad you're feeling.

Lucienne

@teebs I'm sorry. I hope your friends are being supportive and not awful about this.

lemonadefish

@teebs *hugs* it's ok to be sad, even if you've done the right thing. you'll get better though!

Inkling

@teebs
*warm hug*
It's good that your friends hated her! That's red flag number one and I bet they are really proud of you.
I posted a bunch of scary stories downthread so you can stop feeling heartbroken and start fearing for your life if that will help.

teebs

Thanks, everyone. This wasn't my first adult relationship, but this was my first serious relationship with a woman. She did some pretty awful stuff to me, and it took me a while to untangle a lot of my feelings about coming out and about finally being with a woman from the emotional and mental abuse she inflicted on me.

Today has been so rough because I'm sad and upset, and she also keeps calling, texting, and messaging me.

adorable-eggplant

@teebs Oh hun, I'm sorry that sounds really tough. That happened to a close friend of mine too. She'd just come out and her first lady friend was really manipulative and controlling and emotionally abusive and just a total jerk who I hated with a purple passion (and still do). It was really hard for her to leave cause it was also a very happy time for other obvious reasons, but now she's moved on a dated several more ladies and life has been pretty awesome.

Turn off your phone for a while, take a hot bath, read a good book, take care of yourself. :)

Faintly Macabre

I move into a tiny, tiny apartment tomorrow! I am so excited to buy cleaning products and as many kinds of tea as I want! Does anyone have tips for organizing a really tiny space? I've looked a bit on Apartment Therapy, but most of the "incredibly small" apartments they feature are at least 3 times the size of this place. So far, my only strategies are buying some underbed drawers, a drying rack, and storage cartons at Ikea this weekend, and buying 2 spare folding chairs and storing them in the bathroom. (The apartment is so tiny that the toilet doesn't even fit inside!)

Judith Slutler

@Faintly Macabre How high are the ceilings? You might be able to do a sweet lofted bed or some interesting storage options up toward the ceiling.

Faintly Macabre

@Emmanuelle Cunt The ceilings are decently high, but the bed is actually built into the apartment, set below built-in cabinets. The whole apartment was redone a few months ago, so it's well-designed (lots of cabinets!) and in nice shape, but there's not a lot of flexibility/room for big things. I'm thinking of rigging a drying rack on pulleys like my host family had above their shower, but I don't know how ugly/difficult/wall-damaging that would be.

up cubed

@Faintly Macabre My place a is TINY studio and I found Ikea's small apartment showcases educational: pick similar items in the same color palette, use as much vertical space as possible (shelves near the ceiling), include lots of light and plants, section off parts of the room visually using rugs, consider a bed-specific cubby, curtains, etc. Pinterest and Apartment Therapy were moderately helpful, but their places generally had a more convenient floor plan so it wasn't as helpful.

Judith Slutler

@Faintly Macabre Well - how old is your building? As long as you don't have textured wallpaper or some shit, filling in holes before you move out is really not that much of an issue.

You can get special ceiling anchors for the screws / hooks you want to use, they will definitely keep the thing from pulling out of the wall or ceiling if you get the right size and make sure that you have a vague idea of how heavy a drying rack with wet clothes will be.

Alternatively, Ikea has drying racks to attach to your wall, and they have a hinge so you can store them up against the wall when not in use.

Faintly Macabre

@upupandaway Ooh, good ideas! There's only room for like...2 tiny rugs in the apartment and one of those would have to be a bathmat, but I'll try to figure out how to section off the bed more, especially seeing as it is also my couch. I'm definitely planning to get plants, though, and I'm going to ask my landlords (who live downstairs) if they mind my installing some shelves, since the place has high ceilings and no bookshelves.

@Emmanuelle Cunt It's a mostly Hausman-style building, so around 110 years old. But since it was just redone, the walls are a sort of semigloss white. I'm hoping to go to Ikea today, so I'll look for those racks! Monoprix also sells ones you can hang over your door, but I don't know if I have the space for that.

harebell

@Faintly Macabre
I love (well, love/hate/love) tiny tiny apartments! Hope you love yours.

For me, the most important thing was putting the bed away/making the bed regularly, so that it really did also function as my sofa. Also having a wonderful reading light (one of those full-spectrum lamps) to read & to make the whole place look prettier.

Otherwise, yes, vertical storage solutions, but not too many, or you feel crowded from above as though everything will come down on your head. Maybe just minimal possessions. You can still invite people over, but only carefully selected ones, because it's immediately intimate, given the size of the apartment. & it was super-important to cultivate parks and favorite cafes for mental well-being. But it worked! I cooked a big Christmas dinner for my parents, even though I had to wash the pots between almost every course because I had so few pots in my tiny kitchen -- it was fun!

BUST MAG

NYC 'Pinners, you should come to the BUST Magazine Holiday Craftacular this weekend! It's at 82 Mercer in Soho from 11 am - 7 pm this Saturday and Sunday, it costs $3 (with free goodie bags for the first 300 attendees each day) and there will be tons of awesome handmade clothes, art, jewelry, and other great stuff there (turbans-- they're back?!). There is a Make-Your-Own Gifts station. There are also $3 beers. Just throwing it out there. Let's go shopping.

siniichulok

I'm sorry...I just have to kvetch, because I am hormonal and hugely pregnant (three months but it looks like most people's six) and I have the most awful, unhelpful family doctor team ever. I just managed to secure myself an obstetrician appointment in approximately one week despite the family doctor team's best efforts to hinder me (it seriously took me a month, and I have a rather complicated pregnancy that ALL the ER doctors I saw said requires obstetrical monitoring, like, yesterday). I even called the ultrasound place and rearranged the ultrasound I was getting so it wouldn't be the same day. Then, at far too late a time to do anything about it, I got a voice mail from the family doctor's office saying, "oh, we just saw that your ob-gyn's appointment is on the same day as your ultrasound (which I *CHANGED,* AAAGH), so we're emailing your ob-gyn to tell them that they have to find a different day for you, la la la!" This is AFTER the family doctor's office told me it was my responsibility to schedule my ob-gyn appointment and I practically had to staple my ER paperwork to their hands to get them to send it to the ob-gyn to expedite the process. And it is DIFFICULT to get an appointment with an obstetrician in my city because of the lovely shortage (and it's even worse in rural areas from what I hear). The other problem is that I will be out of the country from Sunday to the DAY BEFORE I have my ob-gyn appointment, so it will be very difficult to fix this. Anyway, I hate them. I hate them so much. And I want to kill them with fire. (Metaphorically. Sort of.) Sorry, this is probably so very inappropriate to write about here, but aaaaaaaaaagggggggghh.

area@twitter

@siniichulok Girl. That is some BULLSHIT. ::hugs:: Keep your chin up the best you can! Is there any way you can get a different family doctor? This one sounds incredibly unhelpful. Or if you have to keep them, is there a friend/family member who can help you with appointments? It can be really hard to advocate for yourself as a patient, and having a backup can be hugely helpful.

par_parenthese

@siniichulok Along the lines of what area@twitter just said: Imma just go ahead and pitch you the idea of a doula? Doulas do NOT have to be about a particular birth philosophy -- their whole reason for existing is to be your non-baby-brain pal in the midst of all the shit docs/nurses/midwives/people try to throw at or put on you when you're pregnant. I have doula'ed for several mamas/babies now (new doula who isn't tryna make money at it) and part of my job is to be the voice of Calm The Fuck Down, Doc, She Does Not Need To Decide This Shit Right Now, at appointments.

Anyway, bummer, hope you get things worked out!!

siniichulok

@par_parenthese, @area@twitter: Thanks and hugs back!! I can get a different family doctor (and I will after this point), but it probably won't get my most likely lost obstetrician's appointment back, and it may be another month at least before I get another appointment (could be even longer to find a family doctor in this city). My husband already did go in to the family doctor's office once for an issue leading up to this and act like the good cop to my (bawling, incoherent) bad cop (it was when the NP was dragging her heels for a long time about referring me to the obstetrician at all). He will also call them today from work and try to do the same thing as a backup for me. And I would love a doula, even though I'm not sure I can afford one, or whether the system here in Canada lets them take care of my appointments for me. But definitely something to keep in mind for the possibly-near future!

par_parenthese

@siniichulok If you don't have a friend who's obsessed with birth and babies like me (and therefore doesn't much care about payment), you could call some doula-connected folks (lactation consultants, midwifery practices, Bradley/birthing class teachers) or your local branch of DONA and ask about trainees. To be certified you have to attend a few births for free -- they're highly trained, they just need experience. And some groups may have women who can adjust their fees depending on what mamas can afford to pay. ::hugs:: and best wishes!

stonefruit

@siniichulok WOMAN. I do not wish to freak you out, but either we are friends in real life or a FB friend of mine from college is also suffering from the same horrifying medical incompetencies as you, in the same country, and I should connect the two of you. Either way, b'shaah tovah on your incipient bundle of joy and I hope you guys get the BS worked out with your physicians!

siniichulok

@stonefruit Toda raba!! :) Yes, that's me! I'm not freaked out.

stonefruit

@siniichulok yay! BMC 2035???

siniichulok

@stonefruit I am so there!!!

j-furr

Holy you guys, here I am chiming in late because I am all the way over here is Calgary, but I just bought a new harp!!! Woo! !!

oboe-d-amore

@j-furr Ooh, exciting! What kind of a harp?

Elsajeni

@j-furr TELL ME ABOUT YOUR HARP.

OxfordComma

That comic is exactly right for today.

OxfordComma

Also, my fiancé got his feelings hurt over SOMETHING
and we need to TALK ABOUT IT tonight.

After working a twelve hour day, dropping off DVDs at people's homes in the rain (in LA--the traffic! Horrible!), and then driving home, I just want to go to bed, man.

No desire for some deep, analytical, intense discussion right now.

I just want my bed, my pajamas, my pillows.

I love him,
but God,
his timing sucks ASS.

Inkling

@OxfordComma
WHATEVS, LITTLE MAN (tell him that)

PatatasBravas

@OxfordComma Hope you got the sleep and the rest you needed last night, and that things with the fiance are looking up now!

OxfordComma

@PatatasBravas @Inkling : We're all good now!

Turns out he had NO idea how hard my job is on me,
and he is now more understanding of why I often come home snarling like a velociraptor.

Thanks for the happy thoughts!

Lucienne

Guys, I'm pretty sure there was a brown recluse in my apartment last night. Whatever it was, it's dead now. But. D:

OxfordComma

@Lucienne AUGH!!!!!

Lucienne

@OxfordComma BASICALLY.

Blondsak

@Lucienne Brown recluses usually don't bite unless pressed down on your skin. Some tips: don't leave clothes on the floor. Wear, wash or shake all your clothes out at least once every two weeks. Wash or shake your bedding out similarly. I also would recommend not walking around barefoot, but I'm pretty paranoid.

Lucienne

@Gussie Yeah, I am pretty careful to disrupt everything regularly-ish. Actually, I'd been sweeping that day, which is probably why I jumped to the brown recluse conclusion. It might not have been a brown recluse! But my cat was interested in it, so I squashed it before we could find out.

Inkling

So my worst friend (hey pinner) linked me with a NEVER-ENDING COMPILATION OF REAL-LIFE FEAR AND DOOM.
I finally got a job!!!! It's for a parking garage, and I may have the lofty position of the person in the tollbooth who doesn't have to talk to anyone.
Oh also my fwb, who extrapolates beyond reality, thinks my new roommate is miserably in love with me so sometimes I like to pretend I am in a romantic high school anime in which there is much pining and gnashing of teeth. I hope you guys try this.
It's really fun.

Inkling

Idk why I just compile my life on these things but maybe you guys are interested in parking garages or fake unrequited love, who knows. Yolo.

Inkling

OH.
And attention all feminist sci-fi nerds, this Netflix show is blowing my mind.
-realistic amount of POC
-realistic amount of women
-women POC in positions of power and magical capabilities
-interracial and gay relationships mentioned offhand and no one bats an eyelash
-feminist jokes
-Young Frankenstein jokes
-reminiscent of Doctor Who with more racial diversity and artifacts instead of aliens
It's called Warehouse 13. Please try it and love it.

frigwiggin

@Inkling How far have you watched? I have one friend who loved season 1 but thought season 2 was rubbish, and another friend who thought the exact opposite, which leaves me so confused and uncertain of whether to watch it or not.

Inkling

@frigwiggin
I'm in episode 2 of Season 2. I hope it doesn't get crappy! The first episode starts a little like "oh these two are opposites and must work together" but it's awesome. Definitely recommend so far. Watch it watch it watch it.

ETA WHOAH it's Kaylee and the doctor out of nowhere, if Mal and his dumb face stay out this is going to be excellent.

Danzig!

@Inkling hey, life's interesting

Cawendaw

@frigwiggin I've watched the whole thing, and I'd say it hits its stride starting in season 2. In terms of quality, think I'd categorize it with shows like Eureka, Castle and Psych: an episodic show with adorable characters that reliably hits certain marks until you get tired of its schtick or it gets cancelled.

Faintly Macabre

@Inkling Why did you then link it?? Waaahhh I'm never going to sleep again!

Inkling

I KNOW THEY ARE HORRIFYING.
Now reading this lively/depressing discussion about bad gifts as a palate cleanser.

255
255

OMG HI HI HI GUYS! I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL WEEK FOR THIS! Just got home.

Question: How do I get over a guy I am totally in love with but broke up with almost 2 months ago? My therapist says this is totally normal after it was on the heels of this divorce. But I saw him from the back for the first time since we broke up, didn't say hi, and the feelings inside me were so unmistakable and strong. I know TIME TIME will heal it all but still advice? I miss sex but I am not in a place to just hook up to get over him, I think. But god I am TIRED OF ALL THIS LONGING.

Also, I found a great new roomie. Poet, gentle, understanding, silly, everything I was looking for. Just waiting to hear back from her reference but this apartment is kind of lonely and I'm all aflutter and want her in here now.

I am very excited for tomorrow. It's going to be awesome.

And jesus I post my whole life on these threads. How scared are you guys of people you know reading what you post and recognizing you? I am like pretty scared of that but post anyway.

mystique

@255 I would recommend doing other stuff! Occupy your time. I suggest watching movies. If you're missing the romance of your relationship, check out Bright Star. If you're missing sex, maybe some sexy movies (I don't know your preference, sorry! maybe Secretary?). If you're missing talk, maybe Cairo Time.

Read books you haven't had a chance to read yet. That'll help more than you think.

255
255

@mystique Yea I do a lot of that, I am actually pretty busy and overwhelmed. I just miss HIM. I'm glad I broke things off, it was right but I am still in love with him.

PatatasBravas

@255 I find that sometimes reflective writing helps? Like making a list of "here are the specific things I am missing" and then making a second column in that list, of "here are some ways I can fill those spaces." It might be that you could simply substitute a person for a missed activity - maybe you have fallen out of contact with a friend/cousin/niece who might want to go grocery shopping and dog-walking with you? Or maybe it is a need for physical touch, in which case, maybe cuddling kittens at the local shelter might substitute. Maybe it's conversation around the newest NYT bestseller - join a book group!

It's been comforting for me to remember that there is no one magical person, but instead, we can fill our needs with a variety of people over a period of time.

(Also, moping and watching movies I've seen nine times before helps!)

Danzig!

If anybody wants to do a thing in New York, speak now or forever hold yr peace. This time 2 weeks from now I will be back home! Ain't holding out a lot of hope, but it's worth mentioning.

I have seen plays, oh have I seen plays, since it turns out I paid my last month's rent already and forgot about it. On Saturday I went to see If There Is I Haven't Found It Yet, with Jake G-Hall. On Tuesday I saw Grace w/ Paul Rudd and Mike Shannon (and a v. cute Ed Asner). Tonight I saw Julian Sands perform "A Celebration of Harold Pinter". I'm about play'd out but my mom is insisting I go see Glengarry Glenn Ross. David Mamet, right? Who needs him. I keep getting him confused with Norman Mailer.

I'm going to try not to stay up too late this week because I'm figuring out my medication's not holding down the fort late at night (not coincidentally I am at my most creative around that same time). I have been feeling guilty about being a nutbar and emailing people, guiltily, only to wake up in the morning and feel even more guilty. It's like cleaning out yr ear with a q-tip, that impulse to fix something that's wrong but you just make it worse.

OH also go see Silver Linings Playbook, it's good, Bradley Cooper is good for once and Robert De Niro makes his long-awaited return to dramatic acting. And Jennifer Lawrence is great, natch

Lucienne

@Danzig! What! David Mamet is way better than Mailer. I mean,

THE DEVIL: Nothing's black and white? Nothing's black and white - what about a panda? What about a panda, you dumb fuck! What about a fucking panda!

Would Mailer write that? No. Mailer would not. Though James Baldwin was unaccountably fond of Mailer.

Faintly Macabre

@Danzig! My friend worked on Silver Linings Playbook! Apparently his name is in the credits somewhere, so I have to see it so I can clap just for him and look like an idiot. AND I finally just watched the trailer, and the diner in the movie is where my friends and I hang out all the time! (I actually kind of hate the diner, but it's cheap and open 24/7.) Aaahh I need to see it!

meetapossum

Late night Open Thread. Anyone awake? I went out for a co-worker's birthday and then another co-worker had tickets for the Gaslight Anthem. The audience did a "Jersey! Jersey!" chant, which actually made me proud to be from my home state.

PatatasBravas

@meetapossum um it's lateish the next night?

Basically I wanted to tell you that your new icon is freaking me out a little bit...

PatatasBravas

Like that McDonald's character in purple meets the Abominable Snowman from that Christmas special that I loathe.

(failing at character names right now, eep)

meetapossum

@PatatasBravas Why, yes, it IS Bumble the Abominable Snow Monster from the Rankin/Bass 1964 animated classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

I cannot make any other comment on your opinion of the film but to say that you and my roommate can sit in the Cave of Wrongness.

Porn Peddler

AH HI GUYS I snuck my ass into the wireless at work. I miss you all so very much. A lot of things happen and are happening in my life. Roomie's campaign is over and she's with us for the foreseeable future (!!!!!!!). However, I am currently the only person living in our apartment who has a job. And it is my porn store job.

1. New smut if anyone wants it. I think it's good fun.

2. On Wednesday night, MG said the highest thing I have ever heard anyone say: "There are still kids, just now, who are discovering shit like Salad Fingers for the first time! I wish there were numbers and data and graphs for age and time of first discovery of internet memes over the years. And I wish there were some physical, visible representation of those numbers. Like, I wish I could be in a room, with this giant plant that grows to represent people first discovering different internet memes. And then there'd be like, a big burst of growth, and we could be like 'Another thousand kids just discovered salad fingers for the first time!'"

I remembered that while driving to work the next morning and laughed so hard I almost had to pull over. Tell me high things that people have said in your presence. Because omg, MG. Salad Fingers. I almost cried.

EpWs

@Porn Peddler LADY I miss you too! And I've got nothin on MG, because...good lord, I cannot compete with that. But I'm glad he's amusing the shit outta you.

Porn Peddler

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher HAAAAAAAAAY.

fuck fuck fuck

i think my breakup is finally all the way over! my ex broke up with me at the very end of august, and then we tried to be friends, until i had to put a stop to that because i hated it/him too much. THEN we weren't talking, but a couple weeks ago he decided it was time to randomly start conversations with me in situations in which i couldn't just tell him to leave me alone (like in the middle of class!). i then told him flat-out i didn't want to be friends, i was still way too hurt/angry (he broke up with me in a very douchey way very suddenly, then essentially wanted me to remain his girlfriend except without the sex and without having to commit to me...ALSO we were engaged...). so he agreed to not talking indefinitely, but he kept on trying to stay close friends with my brother! who is my best friend! he would tell my brother things ABOUT ME and then make him promise not to tell me. what the fuuuck. so of course my brother would then tell me anything he said because HE'S MY BROTHER, which made me feel like this guy was never gonna really be out of my life. but a few days ago i got up the courage to tell him that this was all not okay with me and he needed to back off my family. and he agreed! douchily. but i have my life baaaaack yay

discombobulated

@fuck fuck fuck I am so glad you are not with that juicebox anymore.

PistolPackinMama

@fuck fuck fuck Good lord. What did he think your bro was going to do? Juiceboxy, and thick.

PatatasBravas

@fuck fuck fuck Well. I'm glad you're out of it, and your brother's free too!

(can't think of any nice things to say about the ex, so won't say anything at all)

lobsterhug

It's snowing! Winter is here!

anachronistique

@lobsterhug I may or may not have walked home from the grocery store with my tongue stuck out to catch snowflakes.

Anninyn

I'm always late to these things. Damn being in the UK!

Anyway. We took the new kittens to the vet for their jabs, and he fondled Annes tail (short and kinked) and pronounced it a birth defect. We have a cat with a birth defect.

PatatasBravas

@Anninyn But adorable?

Anninyn

@PatatasBravas UTTERLY. SO CUTE. I could scream.

frigwiggin

@Anninyn Hey, my cat has a birth defect too! Or, she did, in the form of an unfinished back leg, until we had the stump amputated for her own health and comfort. High-five!

JustAPaperBag

Pinners, my intended and I are FINALLY moving to Portland! We're both from Arizona, so this is a huuuuuuuuuuge change for us. We (the two of us and our three dogs) drive to San Francisco tomorrow and crash at his friend's apartment, and then on Monday we make the 11 (?) hour drive to our new house. I'm so pumped - I always wanted to live in the Pacific Northwest, but I thought it would be years from now. I am probably not going to sleep tonight, I am SO EXCITED.

granny squares

@JustAPaperBag So exciting! Good luck with your move!

PatatasBravas

@JustAPaperBag YAY FUN GOOD TIMES! Join the Hairpin book group in PDX!

JustAPaperBag

@PatatasBravas Thanks!! I plan to - upthread I said I want to, but I am almost immediately studying for the bar exam, which is going to put a cramp on anything really fun for awhile, but I'm going to try to get info and be ready for fun times as soon as possible. :)

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

I raised enough money to get 2 free tickets to the Montreal Movember Gala Parté* last night and it was SO MUCH FUN and I found out that if you wear a ridiculous hat, people will want to take pictures of you. Also it might get you free drinks!

Now there will be less mustaches to look at. Except for my dad's. The only guy my age I know who has one year-round lives pretty far away (although oddly enough, I met him this November and he also bought me a drink! This never happens!)

*their words

Cawendaw

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) I'm not geographically convenient to Montreal, but I'm commenting here so you'll at least have half a mustache to look at. Maybe the similarly be-mustached be-userpicced @frigwiggin and @emby could join me down here? Fight the post-movember mustache shortage!

255
255

Home alone against my will on this Saturday night. I am pretty restless. Need dancing or something UGH.

lisma

@255 also home alone, but I live alone. it's cool though, I just found out that The Goonies is streaming for free on Amazon Prime.

255
255

@lisma Last night I found out that my body was having a major freak out so thank god I didn't go out. Freaked out for a couple hours, watched the last HP and Homeland AGAIN (I'm so in love with that show) while folding laundry and then got a migraine when I realized I could no longer see Carrie and Brody due to an aura.

lisma

@255 hope you're feeling better. I need to get on watching Homeland.

255
255

@lisma Well aren't you sweet. Thank you. Happy Monday.

gloing43

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lisma

@gloing43 FAIL

iknowright

@lisma but....hat and the decorations! YOU MUST NOT MISS IT

lisma

@iknowright Western Union Payment!!!!

tea sonata

I know I'm late, but I wanted to get some thoughts down.
Yesterday was exactly one month since my last cigarette. Wooohoo!
I went home for the weekend to visit Mother Sonata, she is much better than she has been, despite the time of year, we had a little laugh which was nice, good to behave like equal adults.
Had a good night out catching up with friends on saturday. Feel like I'm all growed up when I'm with them, makes all the difference.

I'm glad I'm coming out of my social rut I've been stuck in for what feels like forever. INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATED WITH MY COURSE AT COLLEGE, however. Favouritism that has not abated, despite a change in the head of department. Feeling as though any work I do isn't recognised. A pat on the back or a "Great job!" sticker is all I'm asking, but apparently your best isnt enough. I don't understand this shit, I desperately want out. Feels like school. Anyway.

Also, had all my hair cut off, from waist length to collarbone. And I love it, and so do other people, so, y'know. A gentle, much needed egoboost. It's the small things.

Edited to add that I saw Skyfall this week and I LOVED IT and also Ben Whishaw, you beautiful man. I am also in love with Daniel Craigs silly ears.

This has been a post.

ENJOY YOUR WEEK COMING, PINNERS!

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jimmyrapper

@Didldidi AHHH, I love that scene. Oh Black Books, never change. I was actually thinking of his bit about "Irish hair" from...one of his routines, I forget which one. But basically anything he does
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