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The Scarlet B

We’ve all heard by now that Bigfoot is totally and undeniably real, obviously, which is fantastic news, ESPECIALLY for this adorable guy who wrote a thing for Salon a million billion years ago* about how his residual online Bigfoot presence was destroying his ability to date:

At the time I left, I really didn’t think about how my name would remain floating on the Web, connected to Bigfoot. I was just happy to be away from it all. At the time I was cleaning out the /www/ folder on my ISP’s server, a lot of other Bigfoot Web sites were moving on to the Great Server in the Sky. Bigfoot sites have always suffered a high turnover rate, so it never occurred to me that some links would still be hot three years later. I figured that my association with Bigfoot would slowly fade from the Internet and that my legacy, as I wrote to the members of the IVBC, would be to become the “George Lazenby of the Bigfoot field, a vaguely remembered character who made a brief, tiny contribution the nature of which cannot exactly be recalled at the moment.”

KYLE, it’s okay! It’s okay now. You do you.

*How long ago? He doesn’t even say “Google.” He says “ran an Internet search.”


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