One man attempts to eat all the pumpkin-flavored items available at Trader Joe's, in one day. (Earlier: determining the pumpkin-ness of the current Trader Joe's flyer [28%].)
food, halloween, pumpkins, trader joes
I can take this kind of sarcasm and ridicule when it comes to music, or movies, or books, or advice columns, but a sarcastic, flippant recap of a day of pumpkin-flavored foods? I say, sir, you have gone too far!
@sudden but inevitable betrayal It's ok. He can't even microwave instant oatmeal, so his opinion doesn't really matter.
I am disappointed not to hear his take on the pumpkin-flavored dog treats.
Wow. So much admiration for this guy. I would love to attempt something like this but wouldn't want to run the risk of hating pumpkin for the rest of the season.
All I could think during the article was "Hey, jackass, you are making the oatmeal wrong."
@TheMnemosyne right?! and then he skipped making the pumpkin pancakes which are DELICIOUS. no wonder his experiment failed.
@allofthewine PUMPKIN PANCAKES OMG
"I pick at a third scone and decide it’s too dry, but then I decide that dry scones are as inevitable as Simon & Garfunkel on a Fleet Foxes Pandora station."
Why does he make it seem like that's a bad thing?
@meetapossum Between this dude and the tales of woe in the online dating post, I despair at ever finding a suitable boyfriend again.
@Lisa Frank There's always Mr. Autumn Man.
@meetapossum I mean, it's no "Godspeed You! Black Emperor album." Oh, that's what you Gchatted about? Great dude.
I found this whole thing so fucking irritating.
@meetapossum aren't you supposed to slather them in really good butter? isn't that the point of scones?
This post popped up just as I was about to head to my local TJ's and get pumpkin muffin mix. Now i'm afraid I won't like it or it will make me tragically uncool.
My boyfriend is big on the pumpkin thing (well, not so much on the actual gourd--like the guy says, he's into the spices+sugar thing), but that mostly means swarming the closest Mimi's when they officially have pumpkin muffins on the menu. I can't object, although secretly I like the honey-bran muffins more, because those motherfuckers are SOAKED in honey.
If I hear the phrase "pumpkin beer" one more time this season I'm going to flip a table.
@Sarah H. It's "pumpkin ale"
I am an unabashed lover of all things pumpkin (and I actually mean pumpkin; not just fall spices) and this article really bothered me. He admits right at the beginning that he's not really a fan of pumpkin! Why would you do this then?? That would be like me forcing myself to eat strawberry-flavored things all day. (No, I'm not a strawberry fan. Yes, I am human. Yes, I know I'm weird.) I would happily undertake this challenge if Grantland wants to fund a do-over by someone who actually enjoys pumpkin.
@lexmarie To be fair, there's a big difference between actual strawberries and things that are strawberry flavored. Same with bananas. And strawberry-banana flavoring is just a crime.
@lexmarie For real. This article should be titled "Tales from an Pumpkin Grinch."
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