Friday, October 26, 2012


The End Of Grandmothers

The committee removed the “experimental” label after analyzing more than 100 studies assessing the health of eggs after the procedure and the outcome of births. The committee concluded that there have been no reported increases in chromosome abnormalities or birth defects among children born using oocyte cryopreservation, the technical term for the procedure.

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine announced this week that we can freeze our eggs, no problem, go ahead, take your time. Which is fantastic news, let's go on a cruise! Just keep in mind that if you wait until 50 to have kids, your mom might not be around to love/spoil/reject/torment them. Not for too long, anyway.

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This is really huge.

So now you put your eggs away, and then the next milestone is, "If I wait any longer to start trying transfers, I'll need to use a surrogate." And once that ship has sailed, you might as well wait until after retirement.

And now, egg donors don't have to coordinate with the recipients so much. Egg donation will be a lot more like sperm donation. Still with the shots and all, but do it when you want to, and then people buy them off the shelf. Holy moly.

fondue with cheddar

Don't worry, your kids will still have a grandma because your parents will divorce and your dad will marry a woman much too young for him.


@fondue with cheddar Post-modernity: the gift that keeps on giving.


@fondue with cheddar And then your child and his little aunts and uncles can go to school together!

Miss Maszkerádi

@fondue with cheddar I hate this planet.

fondue with cheddar

@noReally Actually, we had that in my family. My dad's mother died young, and my grandfather married someone who is 10 years older than my dad. Later they had two more kids of their own. I've got an uncle who's a year and a half older than me, and he's got a nephew who's a few months older than him. They went to school together and were in the same grade.


I have older parents and no memories of grandparents. It is one reason I wanted to have kids younger, but it doesn't look like that's happening.


@frenz.lo Same. My parents had me in their 40s (and I am an only child), so I grew up with people asking me why I hung out with "my grandparents" so much. In reality, my grandparents were all deceased.

I don't want to have my own kids - I want to adopt. And I am waiting till I'm in my mid to late 30s to do so, so there is a snowball's chance in hell that my kids will know their grandparents (on my side, at least). Sorry, future children!


@olivebee My parents were older too, so I basically grew up without grandparents (I have a vague memory of visiting my senile paternal grandma in the old folks' home and talking with her about gum). But then I did elder care in college and took care of grandparents-age people, and ended up loving both my old people. So even without blood grandparents, all is not lost.


@frigwiggin - I had the opposite - my parents were young when I was born, so I knew one of my great-grandfathers, and all four of my great-grandmothers (the first one of the great-grandmothers to die passed when I was 17, the final just passed this summer - I'm 30.)

So, that was amazing. I feel really bad I won't be doing the same for my kids, should I ever decide to have any...which is a total bummer. But at the same time, I have MUCH MUCH closer adult friends than my parents did - mostly because at the age when I have been growing closer to my adult friends, I can actually remember my parents busy lives as parents.

In my inner-circle now, the first child of the group of us that are super-tight is going to be born this winter. We were out for drinks last night, me and this very old friend, and we spoke of his son the way I remember my uncles talking about me and my cousins. So, you know...it's that old "family is what you make it" thing.


@frigwiggin My parents were also in their 40s so I grew up with only one grandparent, and she died when I was 21. Working with the elderly kind of filled the gap (especially when patients who didn't have much family would bring me homemade cookies for the holidays). But now that I'm married I've gained a very sweet pair of grandparents-in-law, including a retired Irish minister who will NOT stop telling jokes.


Heh, I love the inclusion of "reject/torment" in the description of grandmotherly responses to their grandchildren. Usually I feel left out of discussions of how awesome, wisdom-imparting, loving, and just all around bad-ass people's grandmas are/were, so way to represent for those of us stuck with the drunk, misogynist, and narcissistic end of the grandmama spectrum!


@KatPruska Yes, thank you! (Mine aren't really those three things, but I have no real relationship with either of them.)


So in theory, could one get their eggs frozen, and then get sterilized through tube tying / essure as a permanent form of birth control? But which then still allows for possible future pregnancy? Or does the sterilization procedure mess up more things than just egg release?

Not that it's a particularly *convenient* method of birth control. But the idea of hormone-free reliable long-term birth control is a nice one. (I guess we have copper IUDs...) (These are apparently the things I think about when I am driving to/fro my OBGYN.)


Yeah, I want to see this for the great achievement it is but all I can think is: Awesome. Another thing about being a woman that's a bazillion times easier when you're rich.


@Paul_Funyun / oi sorry. Feeling pretty grumpy about class bullshit today.

evil melis



I have three living grandparents (one died before I was born), but have never had a particularly close relationship with any of them (my family is essentially estranged from my paternal grandparents, and my maternal grandmother doesn't have a very good relationship with my mum). Even having kids young doesn't guarantee that they'll get to have nice relationships with their grandparents. I envy people a bit who talk about being close to their grandparents, but it's certainly not a big deal for me that I'm not close to mine. Have kids late, they'll be fine!

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