Monday, October 1, 2012


The Best Worst Movie

The subject of one of the world's finest documentaries, Troll 2 is so beautifully terrible, so horribly acted, so atrociously shot, and so oddly scored as to be almost transformatively wonderful in every way.

The only backstory you need is that Troll 2 is not a sequel to the utterly-unaffiliated Troll, does not actually involve any trolls, and was filmed by an Italian guy in Utah using only the local talent.

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I was at the Atlanta screening of Troll 2 seen in the "Best Worst Movie" documentary. Seriously, this mess has been a staple for my film school friends and me for yearsssss now. It's just so bad! But so good! And soooo baaaaaad!

Actually, favorite memory EVER, maybe: The "They're eating her, and then they're going to eat me! OH MY GGAAAAAAAAWWD" guy sat 2 seats over from me during the screening. I whispered to my friend something about a really bad cut coming up, and OH MY GAWD asked me how many times I'd seen the film. My response: TOO MANY. They also told me I had the best questions during the Q&A.


compilation of clips from the greatest movie ever made: Troll 2.@v


From the trivia section of IMDB: The entire cast had showed up to a casting call for the film hoping to be extras, and ended up getting the lead roles.

That tells you pretty much all you need to know. Anyone who loves terrible movies will not be disappointed.


I've seen this and the documentary, and my vote for Best Worst Movie remains The Room.
You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

Lisa Frank

@etheline. It also gets my vote for Most Awkward Sex Scenes.


@etheline. Favorite movie of my whole life, ever. Everybody hate me! I am fed up wit dis voirld!


@Lisa Frank You are my rose, you are my rose, you are my rooooose.

So many amazingly terrible lines.

"I got the test results back. I definitely have breast cancer."

"He found out and beat her so bad, she ended up in a hospital on Guerrero Street."
“Ha ha, what a story, Mark! I’m so happy I have you as my best friend and I love Lisa so much.”

"...Me underwears."

And, obviously, "Keep your stupid comments in your pocket!"

"The Room" tour keeps saying it's going to come to Philly, but as far as I know, it never does - any Philly 'Pinners want to have a movie night? We can drink Scotchka and eat half Canadian bacon with pineapple, half artichoke and pesto pizza.

Anna Jayne@twitter

@MoxyCrimeFighter we actually got that pizza once for a viewing party and it was GREAT. The scotchka...not so much. If you guys haven't heard the "How Did This Get Made" re: The Room, check it out ASAP. Greg Sestero is on it!!


@etheline. My vote too.

"I cannot tell you. It's confidential. So anyway, how is your sex life?"


@etheline. "I did not hit her! It's not true, it's bullshit, I did not hit her! I DID NOT! Oh, hi Mark."

Lisa Frank

@katiemcgillicuddy "O hai, doggy."


@yeah-elle But Mark is Johnny's best friend!


Ahhhh this whole thread just makes me embarrassingly remember The Best Time I Drunkenly Told Greg Sestero That if I Didn't Have a Boyfriend I'd Totally Try to Lay Him.

@Anna Jayne@twitter I hope you remembered to have them go light on the cheese.


@mustelid WAIT WAIT WAIT. Details, please! Where were you? What did he say??


@Elleohelle It was at a screening of The Room at the AFI Silver Theater, a movie theater which sells alcoholic beverages. Many of them were consumed. And Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero were there to do a Q&A thing as well as a live play based on the movie. So after it's all over I stumbled out of the theater, I cornered him, said that, and his response was basically a nervous "aaaahhhahaha" which is really the only way to respond to that.


@mustelid Welp, you're my hero, pretty much. That's amazing!


@mustelid I ALSO MET TOMMY AND GREG! It was great and super awkward and Tommy Wiseau grabs onto ladies during photos and it's uncomfortable?

Also, I have paid to see that movie in the theatre WAY TOO MANY TIMES. But can't stop won't stop.



@Elleohelle I recently watched Birdemic (surely another contender for both Best Worst Movie and most awkward sex scenes), and The Room is still the best.


@etheline. For lovers of The Room, I present The Room Tribute Game: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/547307 It's amazing and awkward and glorious.


@MoxyCrimeFighter Ha! Everytime my husband or I suggest ordering a pizza, the other must immediately respond, "I already ordered a pizza." And then we laugh like maniacs, confusing all around us.


@OptimistPrime Marvelous! Also, in case you don't already play with this obsessively: the Room soundboard! http://theroomsoundboard.com/


You can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it!


@Slutface I got really, really scared that the Dad was going to pee on his son.


@wee_ramekin Me too! I loved how he looked like he was going to pee, but he was just "tightening his belt" because he was "so hungry" because his son didn't want him to eat a bunch of food OBVIOUSLY COVERED IN BRIGHT GREEN GAK-STYLE SLIME.

Side note: Also, the witch. And the popcorn. This movie!!!


I can't tell you how many times I say, "Nilbog is Goblin backward!" or some variation of it.

Can we talk about other awful horror movies? Rabid Grannies, Street Trash, Basket Case (all three). Everyone should see those films.


@meetapossum Manos: The Hands of Fate!


@meetapossum Rabid Grannies! I saw that in highschool and have never seen it mentioned since! It was great, but not as terribly amazing as the vaguely similar Flesh-Eating Mothers.


@meetapossum I say that line all the time too. "Nilbog? T-t-that's goblin backwards. [beat] This is their kingdowm!!!". So applicable in so many situations.

My favourite awful horror movie is definitely Trog. It's a bit tamer than the others you mention, but there's a peculiar pleasure to be had in watching an aged Joan Crawford in a pastel-coloured lab coat over-enunciating "This is blue, Trog, blue" to a guy in a gorilla mask.


@meetapossum But... but... the Basket Case movies are actually good! Silly and made on a shoestring, but good!


@Kakapo I was under the impression that the first one was supposed to be a genuine horror movie (and kind of failed at that), while the other two are purposeful horror-comedies? That being said, all of Frank Henenlotter's movies are extremely entertaining.


@meetapossum Oh, the first one was definitely not meant to be a straightforward horror movie. The other two are more over-the-top, but there is plenty of wit in the first one. Time to rewatch. I'll bring popcorn.


@Kakapo I have to tell my friends to reinstitute our "bad horror movie" nights. We always did double features: Hobo with a Shotgun and Street Trash, The Pit and Basket Case. And then Basket Case 2 and 3 together. Memmmoriiiies.


@meetapossum Sounds delightful. I nominate "Blood Feast" and "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies."


So this is the thread where I should have asked if anyone had seen Death Bed: The Bed that Eats.


@theharpoon Good lord. That one goes on my list for sure. Thank you.


@Kakapo I will vouch for it. There is not much that I will vouch for in this life, but I will vouch for that movie as a terrible movie.


I love that documentary, especially how the writer and director are just completely convinced that it's a great movie/biting social commentary about vegetarians.

Anna Jayne@twitter

I was thinking about being Creedence Leonore Gielgud for Halloween.


@Anna Jayne@twitter I was her for Halloween three years ago! The actress who played her in the movie found the picture on facebook and messaged me about it. Definitely send it to her if you end up doing it. She loves it. www.facebook.com/Troll2Queen


Oh god ("Oh my Goooooooooooodddddd!"), all the green food (really? You're just going to dig in without question?), the weird anti-vegetarian agenda, the ghost Grandpa, Creedence! My favorite part of the documentary was the general store owner saying he didn't even remember making the movie because he was so high the entire time.


I think the popcorn seduction scene in this movie is the closest I have ever come to peeing from laughter.

Valley Girl

This movie(s)! I taped both off Chiller a couple of weeks ago and couldn't stop watching them. Best Worst Movie is so utterly incredible that I wanted to believe it was staged but there's no way that cast/crew are talented enough actors to have pulled it off.

It's complicated. It's just complicated! /Margot


In a troll-related vein, I want non-ironically recommend the movie "Trollhunter." It is streaming on Netflix right now and absolutely amazing. If you've ever wanted to hear pretty frank discussions about troll behavior, this is the movie for you.


@mooseketeer Seconded.

Blackwatch Plaid

My first date with my boyfriend involved watching Troll 2. When it was over, he turned to me and said "wanna make out?" The rest is history.

(Bonus fact: my wifi is called You'reTearingMeApartLinksys)


@Blackwatch Plaid and you're named after the best episode of Harvey Birdman!


My husband is in Best Worst Movie! He's Tim from Tim and Randy Discuss Bad Movies. Fun story- George Hardy saw their show on Troll 2 and telephoned my husband to see if they wanted to host the Chicago screening. I've met George a couple times, and he's ridiculously nice. Everyone from the cast is, actually!

Valley Girl

@seriouslythough That's so cool! I was really curious about how the screenings in the movie came to be so I appreciate that bit of intel. I'll look out for your husband next time I watch!


I honestly, seriously just created a 'pin account to inform everyone that I was unwittingly sitting across the table from the lead child actor in Troll 2 at a Sunday brunch party. Honestly, seriously just found out about this from linking a friend to this article. Thanks, The Hairpin!


@titmouser some of that local Utah talent? how could you not be starstruck!

Nicole Cliffe

@titmouser He's the one who made the documentary!!! EEEE!


@Nicole Cliffe Wha huh -- AMAZING! I know what I'll be watching tonight!


Important question: Has anyone else seen Death Bed the Bed that Eats?


@theharpoon Yes, I've seen it! It's certainly bad in every way -- acting, writing, staging, direction, ability to keep stuff in focus -- but it's more like a terrible, failed art film than a holy-bananas-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking trainwreck like "Troll 2" or "The Room." It's worth seeing, if for no other reason than it was immortalized by Patton Oswalt, but I didn't get the same "so bad it's good" enjoyment from it as I have from other terrible films I've seen. (And I've seen so many. "Stuntrock", anyone?)


THANK YOU FOR THE FILM POST! It was getting a little too literary up in here for me. Much appreciated.

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