Wednesday, October 17, 2012


Sitting and Smoking

"Every single hour of television watched after the age of 25 reduces the viewer’s life expectancy by 21.8 minutes. By comparison, smoking a single cigarette reduces life expectancy by about 11 minutes, the authors said."

But if sitting and watching TV brings greater satisfaction than walking around does, what's the point? It doesn't seem like anyone's claiming that the purpose of life (not that there is one, other than acquiring antique jewelry) is to simply live as long as you can, although I guess there's not really a more-useful, equally semi-quantifiable barometer. Deep thoughts. Walking cigarette break.

53 Comments / Post A Comment

Nicole Cliffe

What if, say, you're a blogger, and spend the majority of your day reclining slightly in bed, propped on pillows like a low-rent Doris Day, while slowly eating large bags of raw cashews?


@Nicole Cliffe You're gonna live forever.


@Nicole Cliffe This means we're going never need facelifts, because the the slight recline.


this is so cute@j


I am so jealous of the people who have the time to watch TV for 4.8 hours a day.



Seriously. I feel like a champ if I get in just 48 minutes.

Daisy Razor

So if I get rid of my TV I can go back to smoking? Excellent.


@Daisy Razor

If that were true I would be beyond excited. I'm also thinking that watching television while standing up and smoking is probably okay.


What about just sitting? Or watching tv standing up? Which is the real problem? Because I'm not ever going to get any laundry folded if The Only Way Is Essex isn't playing simultaneously.

Lily Rowan

@excitedheart Yeah, maybe I'll start standing up while I'm smoking while watching TV. That should help.


@Lily Rowan Maybe I'll move the treadmill in front of the TV and smoke a cigarette while I use it. A-ha!

Lily Rowan



Watching tv is what makes life worth living.

Lisa Frank

Watching Netflix in bed is totally different right? Marathoning shows is just like marathoning...right?

all the bacon and eggs

@Lisa Frank It is surely the only type of marathon that I will ever, ever complete.


@all the bacon and eggs I know it's the only type of marathon I'll ever complete. We just need to find a way to be as smug about it as actual marathoners, and we're set!

all the bacon and eggs

@Megano! I manage to feel pretty smug every time someone FINALLY realizes how amazing The Vampire Diaries is, and I get to say "I told you so." This has happened about half a dozen times to date. See? Smug.


@all the bacon and eggs Hahaha, this is true! Though not quite the same as saying "I watched all three seasons of the vampire diaries this weekend, what are YOU doing with your life?"


@Megano! Maybe we can get stickers for our cars. Little TVs with 26.2 in them.


@professionalmess yessssss. let's also talk a lot about "training." "oh, i'm doing a half [season] this weekend, then a long run [of episodes] next week, and then pacing myself [with sitcoms] right before the big race [of tv]."


Also, my friend knows some people that once did a "24" marathon that included an ACTUAL MARATHON. Like they would watch one episode of "24", run a mile, watch one episode, run a mile, etc. For 24 hours.


I have to be up to a year off my life due to Golden Girls reruns alone. Worth it.


Now I kind of want to die watching Eurovision 2068 with a Marlboro Red in each hand.

RK Fire

Watching tv is nothing like spending hours at home sitting in front of your computer and browsing the internet, right? Right?


@RK Fire Definitely right.


Science: discovering the secrets to a long, miserable life. ::resumes eating cheese::

New Hoarder

According to this Science, I should have died years ago.


i struggle to sit and watch TV ever. I literally can't watch network TV, only the movie channels and even then I'm like a hyper puppy wondering what I could/should/would be doing if I weren't sitting down like a sack on the couch.

I'm sure that's WAYYYY healthier for me :-/


@teenie I just don't have any shows I like. (Except Futurama. <3 u, Futurama.) If I watch anything else, I have to be doing something during. Sunday football time is frequently cooking/knitting/pedicure time.


@teenie Yes, how does near-crippling anxiety about the fragility of life affect one's lifespan?


@teenie I feel like the DVR makes me take even longer to watch stuff than without one. Just knowing I can pause seems to somehow encourage me to jump up every five minutes to go take care of whatever thing I forgot earlier -- the two dishes in the kitchen sink, steam the dress I thought I might wear tomorrow, flatten the cardboard boxes that have to go out, investigate the latest Sephora deals (though I can do that from the couch)...

evil melis



@teenie I can only watch tv/movies on the tv with other people because I get too bored on my own, and even then I constantly talk to the tv. the little people in the box need my love, admonishment and advice!

however, books? internet? i can lose entire weeks to those.

Beatrix Kiddo

Is a combination of exercising and watching TV really worse than doing neither of those things? I really, really doubt it, but then again, I can't really imagine what else I would do with my evenings other than go to a bar.


Well, I have one month till I am 25, so I guess it's time to start binge TV-ing. Oh wait, I already do, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Cheers to a short life full of wonderful stories and characters and laughter and tears!


@olivebee My exact feelings. See you all in 2 months when I have to worry about this shit.


My friend and I call the walking cigarette break "Smokercising"


How many minutes of life expectancy does "lying in bed smoking weed out the window with the fans on while watching Netflix Instant on a netbook" take away per hour?

oh wait I'm 22 so it adds life expectancy as long as I'm not black-out drunk while I do it, right

tea sonata

@Nutmeg I was about to ask this very question.

Miss Maszkerádi

Every time one of these studies comes up, I think of an article I read ten years ago in MUSE magazine (did anyone else read Muse?? Because it was the shit) about ways people are trying to live forever. There was the guy who always lived in a very cold house, the guy who barely ate anything (both intending to
slow metabolism and thus retard the process of decay(?) and the guy who barely slept, for who knows what odd reason - there were pictures of them, all looking somewhat gaunt and haunted behind their overly bright smiles, and thinking back on it now I realize - my god, they're the ascetic monks of our age. The Franciscan with his vow of poverty, the Benedictine's long chanting of the hours in unheated stone cathedrals - the modern acolyte's punishing diet that slows his heart and chills his body, the suffering and pale weakness he willingly inflicts on himself believing wholeheartedly that his fleshly mortification will lead to immortality.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

fondue with cheddar

@CountessMaritza I'd gladly trade a decade or two at the end of my life for warmth and yummy food.


@CountessMaritza Holy crap. I love this paragraph! Please write more.

Miss Maszkerádi

@skyslang Aww thank you! I get poetic whenever my subject even remotely touches on the medieval era these days...


how am I not already dead?


Noooo waaaaaay, nooooo waaaaaay, I can't give up my TV. I am addicted to narratives and trying to stop would leave me miserable.


I'm pretty sure the New Orleanian diet of gravy, whiskey, football, stoop-sitting, and nicotine has improved my attitude towards my shorter life.


I am so fucking dead at 40 then.


I'm so glad we have scientists hard at work figuring out new ways to shame people.

Swagatha Christie@twitter

I'm going to resign from my job because surely sitting in a cubicle in front of a computer nearly 8 hours a day is fatal.

Keep going, science! Write something about debt.

Barry Grant

@Swagatha Christie@twitter

Swagatha Christie!


So it's possible to commit suicide by TV? Like when I'd done with it all I can go all Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas and get a hotel room and binge on my favorite poison? Maybe hire a nice call boy to come and watch with me?
That sounds awesome.

The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak

Today happens to be my actual half birthday. I have exactly a year and a half until I turn 25. Looks like that time will be spent entirely on watching TV, while I still can...

The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak

@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak

Oops, @olivebee pretty much covered this. I've got 17 months on you though!

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