Tuesday, October 16, 2012


How to Steal Paintings, Step One

"An initial investigation suggests that the robbery was well prepared."
—At least the people/person who stole Picasso, Matisse, Monet, and Gauguin paintings didn't just walk in and spontaneously decide to take them, probably. In any case, the Netherlands' Kunsthal museum is closed today. (More on the exhibition, which opened last week, here.)


art, crime, heists

25 Comments / Post A Comment

Lisa Frank

Is it wrong that I'm a little impressed with whoever was able to pull this off? (It probably is.)
I really hope that they're able to recover these paintings, though, it would be a huge loss if they fall into the black hole that most stolen art falls into.


@Lisa Frank I always want to believe that people who pull off huge art heists are Catherine Zeta-Jones. Which makes them sexy and catlike. So... not wrong?


Awesome! Loved it@m


Holy crap, they got away with a lot! Hopefully they recover those before they're damaged or lost forever.

elbows on the table

oh gosh, those poor paintings. also, I always wonder: so you stole a famous painting. now what do you do with it? I mean, you can't show it off really... sell it on the black market?


@elbows on the table I always imagine that thieves have buyers lined up, or why take such a crazy risk?


@elbows on the table Yeah, I mean, after all that work, you're sort of doomed to having it be your bathroom art.

elbows on the table



@elbows on the table
I always wonder this too. Nevermind what the theifs do, as I'm sure they have buyers, as SarahP said. But the buyer? What do they get? Satisfaction knowing that they have this really expensive thing that they can show to hardly anyone? Doesn't that kind of make it worthless (in comparison to the actual value if it weren't hot)?

fondue with cheddar

@elbows on the table This thread has inspired me to create a Picasso replica for my bathroom from the rose period or blue period but make it brown and call it my POO-CASSO.

This is a terrible idea and you should all hate me for it.


@NeenerNeener The buyers are all Bond villains. If you get to see their bathroom art, you're either also a villain... or about to die.

elbows on the table

@NeenerNeener to me, it kind of goes against the point of having art - isn't it supposed to be visible? but I mean, at that point, you have to choose the people you'd show it to super carefully. i can just see something like this happening: say I show it to my good friend X and swear him to secrecy. I later upset X. what's to prevent him from calling the cops on me? "Hey my friend Elbows on the Table has that stolen Picasso in her bathroom!"

elbows on the table

@fondue with cheddar (formerly jen325) please do this and post a picture of it hanging in your bathroom.


Couldn't you just say the painting is a replica?


@elbows on the table Art theft is funny. It really makes you think about the definition of "value." Is something really worth, say, $30 million if you can't actually sell it to anybody?

Lush Life

@elbows on the table Perhaps there is a man, a very evil man, who hangs his stolen Picasso in a secret room and never lets anyone see it because he like to laugh maniacally and say "IT'S MINE ALL MINE!!"

Emma Peel

@NeenerNeener Actually, a lot of really famous stolen art is never sold, according to the atlantic dot com today!


@Emma Peel
The answers, now we have them. I will still imagine @Lush life's version, though.

fondue with cheddar

@Lush Life Yes. I accept this hypothesis.


Ah, this sucks! :( I really like the Kunsthal's site design, but that feels kind of flippant to say.


If anyone is interested in reading about art heists, I recommend "Priceless" by Robert Wittman.


@dtowngirl Also Hot Art by Joshua Knelman is a great read!


Meanwhile, I will scream and gesticulate wildly. >:[


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