I hope no one actually feels afraid of anything this weekend!
open thread, witch emoticon
What is the best dessert you had this week?
@KeLynn Nearly a whole bag of Halloween candy that I bought a week ago to hand out to trick-or-treaters... I am kind of appalled at myself.
@KeLynn I got a bag of Grey Pairmain apples. I just ate two in row. Because they are the best. (otherwise, smores ice cream)
@KeLynn Wednesday night my boyfriend and I went out for milkshakes! It was an unusual treat, and was a lot of fun. He got pumpkin and I got mint chip, and they were both delicious.
@KeLynn The last of a homemade apple pie (with orchard apples that we picked). Yummmmmm.
@KeLynn Pumpkin pie Blizzard from DQ. I am not ashamed.
@KeLynn None. :-( I went to the local patisserie earlier in the week because I wanted a piece of lemon tart for lunch, but they didn't have any. I have a sneaking suspicion we'll get something from the market on the weekend, though.
@KeLynn The pumpkin bourbon cheesecake I've been eating pretty much every day because I didn't get to go to the pie party that it was made for.
I had chocolate pumpkin pie last week. It was just as good as it sounds.
@The Lady of Shalott - You shouldn't be! This thread is about celebrating deliciousness!
@meetapossum - A PIE PARTY??
@KeLynn My mother sent me pumpkin truffles in the mail. I will ignore the slight weirdness I feel about getting Halloween candy from my parents because THEY ARE DELICIOUS. I am going to ration them.
@KeLynn I had polvorones and moscato last night... cannot overstate how awesome that was.
@KeLynn Cherry and lime curd tart. It was so so good. Not quite as good, but I am proud of the individual ginger pudding cakes I made on Tuesday when I was going over to a friend's house for dinner and she emailed me to ask me to bring dessert 15 minutes before I was supposed to go over there.
@KeLynn Over the course of the week I have eaten an entire Trader Joe's pumpkin spice cake even though it was probably supposed to be shared between Boyfriend and me. 10/10 would hog again. Nommmmmmm
@KeLynn I realized that, if one goes late to the farmer's market, the baked goods tend to be buy-one-get-one. So, I had a delicious and essentially free pumpkin scone for breakfast on Sunday.
@KeLynn A pumpkin "muffin" (it had ICING on it) from Einstein Bros. They bought the coffeeshop next to my husband's work and have been trying to win over the neighborhood, and apparently their latest effort was "If you buy ANYTHING, you can have one free pumpkin product." It was a good "muffin"/cupcake, though.
@KeLynn I have had NO desserts this week. I just realized that. No wonder I'm so surly.
@meetapossum OOoh! Can you share the recipe?
Best dessert I had this week was tapioca with strawberry granita at a fancy dinner out Monday; second best (and a close second) was the Cider "donut" bundt cake I made for my office Halloween potluck today. Yum! Worth the tight pants.
@KeLynn I just ate a black and white cupcake from a food truck dangerously close to my office. I am not a cupcake person. But this was delicious. So delicious.
@KeLynn a molasses cookie from the Tuesday farmers' market. I look forward to them every week, and I'll be so sad when market ends for the winter.
@KeLynn i got a chocolate milkshake from shake shack. it was pretty amazing!
@KeLynn Yeah! My friend has one every year. I highly recommend hosting one. People can bring any kind of pies, and it's nice to have a mix of sweet and savory so you don't overdose on desserts.
@KeLynn A sweet potato cupcake my roommate made. She's making more for my birthday/Halloween party this weekend. :)
@KeLynn My roommate brought me a slice of smores pie from Pies and Thighs on Tuesday. It looks like this - http://www.foodspotting.com/places/52521-pies-n-thighs-brooklyn/items/13053-s-mores-pie
It was real good.
@KeLynn My old workplace had a pie contest... after one forkful of each pie slice around the table, everyone was stuffed and could. not. take. any. more. To my great surprise! We all fit in about one slice after that point anyways, though.
@KeLynn I'm going to pretend that this week is actually last week, so I can say it was a potato chip cupcake. Sweet potato cupcake, vanilla frosting, and little bits of Ruffle chips. It was so awesome, and free!
Who watched Parks & Rec last night?!? Can we just sit here and "awwww" all together?
@olivebee Omg I cried. I am the version of myself I always try to pretend that I am not.
@olivebee Leslie and Ben are SO ADORABLE. Also "fart attack"...typical Jerry.
@olivebee AHHHHHHHH LESLIE just killed me. Also, I couldn't stop saying, "It's Xena!" (I was tad drunk.)
@districter Yep. I was totally "that girl." I cried and squee-ed all at the same time.
Also, Amy looked fantastic in that scene. I loved her shirt.
@olivebee I was that girl, too! Except for amidst the sniffle and such, I couldn't help thinking...WILL ARNETT, YOU BASTARD!
Obviously, I have the feelings.
@olivebee Yeahhhh I cried. I don't know why I was expecting a sad long-distance breakup out of a show like Parks and Rec but I was, so I was surprised along with all my happy.
Oh my god, I haven't watched yet and you guys are making me crazy. TO HULU I GO.
@olivebee UGGH I totally did that too, and outwardly pride myself on not being that girl. Then I was.
@olivebee I randomly woke up early this morning and went "Well, I don't have to shower for a while yet, I will watch Parks and Rec!" BEST DECISION OMG. They are so perfect.
@olivebee I was 85% sure this was gonna happen because of my Facebook feed but I still GASPED, like costume drama gasp of amazement gasp!, when it did. Perfect.
@Lucienne I am happier for them than I have been for half my friends who got engaged. There is no (okay, maybe a negligible amount of) shame in being emotionally invested in TV characters!
@districter Ah! I need to catch up!
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I kept being like, "Oooooh you be careful Ron, one of those little girls might grow up to be Lilith!"
@olivebee I actually literally burst out crying!? And I don't even cry (that much) at proposals (maybe tear up a little, only once in a while). Also I don't recall ever "bursting out crying" so suddenly, though I might have bad crying memory
@Megano! I thought the Ron thing was a bit weird, because I had sort of assumed he would fall under the sway of the little girls and be unable to set boundaries (like the Tammy 1 and Tammy 2 kind of mind control) rather than be so hopelessly inept that he would freak out and freeze.
EITHER WAY, XENAAAAAA. I loved that Lawless' character was like "Ugh, princesses for years" while trick or treating!
@PatatasBravas SPOILERS. Lucy Lawless is my favorite. Oh no spoilerszzz. Can't unsubscribe from this thread. Good lord my inbox is now just full of spoilers.
@all Oh oh oh someone pointed out he used the same box that held the Knope 2012 pin and the Washington monument!
Damn it. I just watched the episode and now I'm sitting here on a Saturday night all teary-eyed and shit.
Also, I am going to Asheville for the next 5 days! Anyone have any recommendations on places to go, places to eat, things to do, etc.? Thanks in advance!
@olivebee River arts district! Wedge Brewing Company!
@olivebee Asheville! Lovelovelove. I recommend Highland Brewery: http://www.highlandbrewing.com/
@olivebee Eat at the Tupelo Honey Cafe. Delicious.
@olivebee I am moving there a week from today! I'm so excited.
@olivebee Firestorm Cafe! My friend used to work there.
You probably won't see this so late, but who is your friend who worked there? If you don't mind my asking that is. I've been going to firestorm since the beginning and I've known a lot of the people who worked there. Always loved that place!
@Tropical Iceland Her name is Emma, she worked there maybe three years ago, I think?
GUYS I THINK I FOUND AN APARTMENT
@Megano! Yay! Is it a good location?
Shut the front door! That's amazing. Is it for Nov. 1?
My roommate and I are looking at another place tonight. We were 'in second place' for another apt that we looked at the other day. Let's hope that tonight's 3 bedroom actually has two bedrooms on the first floor and one in the basement, thus letting us rent out the basement to a new person while we live above ground, like non-gophers! Or, alternatively, that we get a different 3-bedroom available for December 1st.
@dale It is a much better location! Two parks, grocery stores I can WALK TO, Tarjay is opening there in the spring, Pape Station is like a 15 min bus ride. I think there is also a library around the corner. IT IS BIG AND $200 CHEAPER THAN I PAY NOW. I think it might be even slightly bigger than my current place!
I'm not moving until mid-December though. I HATE PACKING. I am slow too, and have so much stuff to go through.
@Megano! Good good good! Amenities + parks + library + saving money equals superawesome!
@Megano! UGH PACKING IS THE WORST. JUST THROW EVERYTHING AWAY AND BUY ALL NEW STUFF.*
*Don't do that, obviously.**
@alannaofdoom I wish this were feasible/I wasn't so attached to my junk!I am gonna get rid of a lot of stuff though. Any Toronto 'Pinners want to come up to Don Mills and raid my closet/bookshelf? I am mostly NOT kidding, I have a bunch of stuff that doesn't fit me anymore!
@Megano! Congratulations on your new ladylair!
@Slutface Ladylair is my new favourite word.
Also, yes! Congratulations Megano! May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your ladylair.
I am anxious about this weekend. I'm anxious about this impending storm, and my lack of Halloween plans, and I fear that I'm just going to be a lonely, sexually frustrated mess.
I want this time last year back. I don't know how to get my fabulous sexy life back.
@tearsforaffairs I am with you on this (dudefriend has a job that keeps him away for weeks at a time/then again, it keeps him home for weeks at a time) except for the whole, "wanting this time last year back". Last year this time was very, very bad for me, but now? Prettttyyy, pretttyyyy good. So I can tell you, with confidence, things will get better. :) (Oh, and fuck this storm. I KNOW I'm gonna lose power.)
@tearsforaffairs I AM THE SAME. Let's just stay on FOT all weekend or dare each other to go out and like, do things.
I've been wanting to do a long bike ride but it reminds me of my recent ex so I've avoided it. But I want to. I also want to make new friends but I am allergic to OK Cupid right now.
"I want this time last year back. I don't know how to get my fabulous sexy life back."
I keep thinking (i am a singer) about how awesome I was singing this time last year and it kills me.
So I have a girlfriend now (in direct defiance of the advice I asked for a couple months ago in another FOT). If you follow us both on twitter you probably 1) saw this coming a while ago and 2) have gotten a little sick at how cute we are.
I am kind of ridiculously happy.
@TheUnchosenOne Yeah remember how I said I saw this coming 2 months ago? Well I realized it was more like 4 months ago, lol.
@Megano! Goodness that puts you a solid two months ahead of me even even figuring out I liked her!
@TheUnchosenOne I don't even follow her on Twitter and I thought you guys were on the verge of a thing by, oh, the time we hung out!
@wallsdonotfall I have been hearing it was super-obvious a lot.
@TheUnchosenOne Maybe I'm just super attuned to the budding of love around me.
This week has had so many things go wrong, and I was already kind of depressed. So I'm sitting here intermittently crying and self loathing. And I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to call a semi friend an unload on them, but I do want a hug and to churl (okay, this type is too good to edit) up on a soft couch somewhere.
@LacunaKale I'm so sorry! Sending a hug your way! Hope you have a better weekend.
Go curl! And churl! (that is a great typo)
Sometimes we all have to cry our way out of a bad week -- but the crap things that go wrong will pass eventually.
@LacunaKale I'm sorry, and I hope you start feeling better soon! Here is an internet hug for you (( ))!
@LacunaKale Call up a friend! Drink milkshakes. It'll be good.
@LacunaKale I hope this weekend is much better for you! Hugs.
@LacunaKale Wishing you a weekend of peace and comforting churling!
ARGH HAIRPIN I MISS YOU. I am having a shitty couple of days-- tell me exciting things about fall and halloween and all the hot people you touched!
(Girl, you know who you are, we're waiting to hear about That Ass You Wanted.)
@Porn Peddler My FWB and I are actively planning a threesome! Or two, or three, if all goes well. He's got a candidate lined up, I'm meeting her next weekend. Hooooo boy.
@Porn Peddler Broad shouldered, barrel chested Merchant Marine. Ahem.
I see all of you still have my number pretty hard.
(It's not a hard number to remember.)
@Porn Peddler I spent the weekend with my Gentleman Friend and there was lots and lots of hot touching, as there always is.
The best is when he comes to my part-time job and feels me up as I MC bar trivia.
This weekend we are going to a ridiculous Halloween party where I will be part of the entertainment (it's a long story) but I have no idea what to wear, other than my knee-high Docs and my new thigh-high backseamed fishnets.
also in case any of you need a pick me up with a y chromosome and haven't yet seen this inky bastard....: click this shit.
oh and an inkier bastard: he's really friendly on twitter.
@Porn Peddler There are fall leaves on the ground and it is pretty outside finally! And my long distance boyfriend visited me last weekend and there were hands and mouths and tongues everywhere (even though much of my furniture is ikea) and he basically spent the entire weekend with a boner. So I'd say that's good.
@Porn Peddler Oh. Oh my.
@katiemcgillicuddy I KNOWWWWWW RIGHT?!!?!
@Porn Peddler Oh yum. Thank you for that. I've been in a sort of "I am completely indifferent to all males and want to be LEFT ALONE" funk for months, and I'm starting to think (to my immense dismay) that I might actually be asexual, and then I see someone like that and remember that I still like dudes after all.
I watched the "Pony" dance scene from Magic Mike approximately 12 time yesterday. And tonight I am going on a date with an actual human male!
@flanhoodles ...there's a routine to "Pony" in Magic Mike? Like, "Pony" by Ginuwine?
..........maybe I should have seen Magic Mike.
@Porn Peddler Yes, Ginuwine. That's really the most important part of the movie.
@flanhoodles so, re: linking me to that, are you waiting for an invitation?
@Porn Peddler I just, I...words. Having trouble finding them.
@katiemcgillicuddy I track the tags for those two dudes on tumblr, because they are really really good pick-me-ups. "Related Tags" come up on the sidebar when you go through any particular tag on tumblr, and one time, Tumblr got it really, really right: Bottom right.
It was so good I had to screencap it.
@Porn Peddler I didn't see Magic Mike but I did watch this version of the infamous scene when it first hit Youtube. You can find better quality versions out there but this one has the best commentary.
I'm ACTUALLY having a problem getting that ass I wanted! Even though he tried to kiss me and also I touched his wiener a lot when my drunk sister spilled punch in his lap. (I was all "oooohh let me assist yooou" [all sexy] and flailed at his crotch until boner.)
Oh and the reason is that my dear beloved longterm FWB and I had entertained the idea of being sexually exclusive. I suggested it because he was starting to get really anxious about me having sex, and he has A Lot of Anxiety. He's happier, but our sex drives still don't match up by far. Is it selfish to go back to boning everyone? I don't mean to demand everyone's advice, but you guys touch wieners so you all seem to wise. You could tell me the ethics of wiener touching if you would like.
@Inkling Do you want your FWB to have a claim on your sex life? Because it doesn't sound like you are talking about an FWB. Presumably, you would want to be kind to your friend, but if he's not your dudefriend or boyfriend or whatever you would call a male romantic partner...girl, all is fair.
I have Questions about your HIstory with FWB.
Yeah, I wasn't really sure about the whole exclusive-sex-means-romance, because that seems almost like... sex loyalty is a reward for romance or vice-versa? It was striking me as somewhat unfeminist to REQUIRE them together. Is that dumb idk.
I have a positive history with him. I don't know what to say. Rub a wiener and channel your wisdom, O Lady(?)(!)
@Inkling What do YOU want? Apart from giving him what he wants (which is a valid wish, or at least a powerful one, but I would try to put it aside until you figure out what your best case scenario is absent that consideration.)
Sure, to REQUIRE romance and sexual exclusivity to go together can be very limiting, but to promise to not sleep with other people when you want to means you're not getting what you want. Moreover, if you want romance in your life (I don't know, do you?) then you're limiting yourself pretty severely by committing to sexual exclusivity without romance.
If whatever you have between the two of you can't sustain the emotional requirements of a romantic relationship, if I were you I would need to be free to look for sex and love elsewhere as well. Otherwise you are stuck in a kind of limbo of committing to something that can't sustain the weight of that commitment.
Ugh I don't know why I'm giving advice. My FWB just left my house after 36 hours together, with much less sex than normal, and a weird distant vibe at the end. Too much face time, maybe? I mean, we're friends, but that's a lot of time to spend one on one with anyone. Or something. I don't know.
It's unfortunate that I'm such a slow burn in terms of figuring out how I feel.
That's quite smart! I obviously am an ally of slooowly figuring out my feelings. I guess I feel like "I want to have sex with a lot of people" is more of a selfish desire that I might feel even if I was in a romantic relationship, and I wouldn't consider it then.
I'm sorry you're also feeling rough with your FWB, and thank you for responding. Sorry I'm responding so late. All I did this weekend was party and move apartments.
@Inkling I hope the move went well! Moving, blech.
Yeah, I guess I see it this way: with a FWB situation, the point is that we take care of each other's feelings only insofar as they don't infringe on our individual lives and desires. It's not a partnership, it's a friendship, and I am loyal like a friend and not a lover. That means I value myself over what is between us. Kindness and honesty are important, but what he does when he is doing his thing elsewhere is not my business, and likewise.
It frees me to do things like leave parties when I am done and not wait for him, go out with other people and not think about him, make my life choices without thought to how they affect him.
That's the idea, anyway. Now, if only it were perfectly true in practice! (I think I'm battling emotions that I don't want to have over here.)
I am trying to frost my Halloween cupcakes so that they look like brains, but they are mostly just looking like pink squiggles. Anyone got any tips?
@miss buenos aires - are you following any sort of pattern, or just squiggling until it looks right? My friend made brain cupcakes last year that followed a pattern similar to this and they turned out good:
@KeLynn I have to say, I LOVE that I got a useful answer to this question within two minutes. I was sort of instinctively trying to do that pattern, but I think my frosting wasn't stiff enough. Will try again with fridge-cooled frosting and a clearer idea of what I'm doing. Thank your friend for me!
Pinners, what are some stupid things people have said to you this week?
A couple of days ago, a coworker of mine mentioned a statistic he saw that says women's salaries are, as a whole, still 7% lower than men's. As I made an "ugh, isn't that the worst?" face, expecting him to delve into the ridiculous inequality of it all, he continued with, "It sucks, but biology kind of guarantees that, you know? Like, if a company hires a woman and she says she won't have kids, but then she doesn't hold to that, the company has to consider that and pay her less to make up for the loss."
Of course, this is the same coworker who, a few hours earlier, told me that he found a frog in his toilet the previous night and peed on it, so.
@KatieBarTheDoor Oh! And then, after I said something along the lines of "??!???!," he was like, "Well, men are charged more for car insurance because we're supposedly more reckless drivers, so how is that different?"
Crazy women and their reckless hormones are driving this company into the ground so we should pay them less!
@KatieBarTheDoor FYI, I am reading his comments in the voice of Puddy from Seinfeld. It's helping to mitigate my rage-face.
(Or, for the young-uns: the voice of Kronk from Emperor's New Groove.)
(PATRICK WARBURTON! Thank you, IMDB.)
@KatieBarTheDoor OH MY GOD, I have TOTAL RAGE at this!!!!
@KatieBarTheDoor I had a coworker who actively defended the position that any woman of childbearing age should be paid less than their male counterparts because they might get pregnant. He also thinks that people who have chronic illnesses should get paid less in case they get too sick to work. Fun!
@KatieBarTheDoor Poor frog! What a dick.
@KatieBarTheDoor Both things that guy did make me want to pummel him.
@KatieBarTheDoor I'm serious, if I were in the room when he said that I would BLOW UP at him and berate him until he either cried or tried to fight me. I would be glad to fight him with fists.
@KatieBarTheDoor I asked my professor how to positively critique arguments (because all of my ways either are just a few words of "yeah, I agree!" or are not appropriate in scholarly settings...) so that I wouldn't have to focus on all the minor trivial stuff I didn't like instead of all the stuff I do to fill up the page reqs, and she went on a long rant about how I needed to have empathy and being so hypercritical would make me lonely forever and I needed to totally shift my world view towards empathy for people.
@Springtime for Voldemort Your professor is as dumb as my coworker.
@KatieBarTheDoor I feel like your coworker might be dumber. This is a professor whom I like, and trust enough to come to her with my writing issues, and I dunno what really happened (possibly, touched on a nerve she has about having her own work critiqued?)... Your coworker sounds like they need a good plate of Toothpaste Oreos or something.
@KatieBarTheDoor Wooooow. I hope you schooled him at least a little on why that's not okay.
Last weekend, one of my generally pretty intelligent guy friends said he didn't really "get" how men could be raped because, "nothing really happens unless he gets an erection, which means he must at least kind of want to, right?" I still can't believe I didn't smack him.
@VDRE Yes, and white men should be paid the least of all because they might leave for another job while they're carrying a vacation balance.
You guys, I just got back from a trip to my local library. I went to find my daughter in the young reader section, and saw...Rebecca as YA novel. Jane Eyre was there too, with a cover reminiscent of the Twilight books. I applaud their creative marketing, but...it was still a little weird.
Happy weekend, everyone! Enjoy these next few days, all my East Coast friends, before we all perish in the Frankensnowicane early next week.
@Bittersweet I saw an article about that! Love the idea of someone finding Jane Eyre by accident.
@Bittersweet I read Rebecca when I was 10! But it had a red musty cover and I don't think I understood one whit of what was actually happening.
...I can't believe my English teacher let me pick that for my report.
@Mad as a Hatter! I read Rebecca at that age too! I didn't get it then either, but I loved it.
@miss buenos aires The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of a Twilight-obsessed girl picking up Jane Eyre and getting really into it. (They also had similarly designed versions of Wuthering Heights and Romeo and Juliet.)
@Bittersweet I STILL have not read Rebecca, but maybe this weekend is the one in which I actually get it??
@miss buenos aires My mother handed my 13-year-old fantasy-reading self Jane Eyre with no prior explanation, so I kind of "found it by accident." Knocked me off my feet and got me obsessively reading classic literature. So I guess it can work? It helped that I was the perfect "naive reader" and didn't know about the BIG! TWIST!
Goddamn hurricane on my birthday weekend (28 as of yesterday, PERILOUSLY CLOSE to 30). I'll tell you what I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of the lines at Safeway later because people are freaking the eff out over this storm. BETTER STOCK UP ON EVERYTHING BECAUSE THE END IS NIGH.
@katiemcgillicuddy Happy birthday! Welcome to Club 28. I'll be sorry to get kicked out in a couple months, so enjoy it!
@katiemcgillicuddy Aww this makes me miss NYC. Stocking up for flurries and such.
@katiemcgillicuddy Hey, happy birthday! I just turned 28 too. At least we can no longer join the 27 club, right?
I'm in Brooklyn - not in the floodzone, but I bought that bottled water and canned beans. Eh. I'm just picturing the embarrassing story I'd have to tell if I was hospitalized for dehydration. "And you didn't buy water... why?" Even though it's so, so, so, so unlikely to happen.
Like how grandmothers want you to wear clean underwear in case you're hit by a car and everyone sees it...
@Queen of Pickles Pff, water. You know what I bought? Booze, I bought booze.
And thanks! I was honestly a little tiny bit worried about the 27 Club! (I've done some very stupid shit in my day. There's not much I put past myself.)
Also: I am legitimately petrified of Republicans at this point. The idea of what would happen in a Republican paradise makes me want to live in the mountains and only visit humanity during my periodic raids for supplies.
@miss buenos aires Agreed completely. The thing I saw today (because there is something every day) that made me want to cry was this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelangelo-signorile/romney-some-gays-are-actu_b_2022314.html
@miss buenos aires I've been sending super mature emails to all republican candidates who send me glossy mailers. Like HOW DO YOU ALIGN YOURSELF WITH LEGITIMATE RAPE PEOPLE? ARE YOU SERIOUS, ALSO STOP CREATING TRASH ALREADY.
@miss buenos aires Yeah, I live in Indiana and was pretty disappointed in Richard Mourdock (Mr. Rape-pregnancies-are-gifts-from-God). I knew he was a nutty tea partier, but I didn't think he was that stupid. The good news is, I'm thinking his chances have dropped now.
@miss buenos aires Seriously, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THEY EXIST. I mean, I do, it is just terribly depressing.
I torture myself by trying to come up with the most nightmarish possible scenario. Like, what if you are a mother of two children in Pennsylvania, and your employer decides they won't let you buy contraceptives with your health insurance and fires you for speaking up about it, and you have to go on welfare, and your horrible ex-husband rapes you and you get pregnant, and you can't get an abortion, and the state of Pennsylvania won't give you any benefits for the third child unless you swear it was rape and report it to the police (House Bill 2718, it is a thing), and then the ex-husband smears you and sues for custody of all three children. Is that the worst thing that could happen if the Republicans get their way, or are there worse scenarios? Also you get sick from fracking.
@miss buenos aires Oh, but see, your ex-husband once owned rights to you, so it's not really rape.
@miss buenos aires
Maybe your ex-husband rapes you because your new partner is a woman, and he's trying to "make you straight again" and the republicans think this is a righteous cause, and he gets all your kids as a reward.
This is terrible, I don't want to play this game anymore :(
@miss buenos aires Here you go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Handmaid%27s_Tale
In a Q&A I once heard her say "I haven't written about something that hasn't already happened."
Hello children. Keep this between us: I have it on the authority of a very highly placed source within Hairpin HQ that an official-like "Pin Up" is due sometime in or around December 7, in New York City. Do with this information what you will.
Last week I alluded to a podcast recorded w/ myself and our very own Edith, but sadly it appears our appearances were cut (or cut short, in Edith's case). I do recall that Edith was asked about what advice she would give someone and she said that advice is useless as anyone who asks for it already knows what they're doing (that's what I remember at least, she definitely did state that no one takes advice). I almost yelled "WHAT ABOUT ASK A LADY" but I did not. C'est la vie. Anyway, here is the link for the "highlights" of the show, Edith asks a question but does not answer one: http://soundcloud.com/jodyavirgan
Because of the way you started that comment, I'll now be reading all of your comments in the voice of Issac Hayes as Chef from South Park.
@Danzig! can i get support to do a Boston Hairpin Delegation field trip to this soirée?
@Danzig! All the "Ask A's" work that way, too. It's not that advice columns are bad, it's that the reason people like to read them doesn't have that much to do with actual advice-taking, I think.
Also, so grateful they cut my weirdo answers!
@Edith Zimmerman That's totally fair! I just thought it was funny as you publish at least three recurring advice columns. They are great fun to read.
Also, they were not weirdo answers! It was a weirdo question. You were right to be as incredulous as you were.
True. A friend of mine, years ago, once said that asking for advice is just looking for support for the decision you've already made.
@Reginal T. Squirge Hmm, really? I recently sent in a question to A LADY and I genuinely don't know what to do. I guess my "decision" is to do nothing and wait for more information on the matter of my emotional state but I am seeking more information too.
After my divorce I I took Robyn's advice seriously that "the only way your heart will mend is when you learn to love again."
Hallo! Find love!
For real though, YMMV, of course. I think we were all speaking in generalities.
@Reginal T. Squirge I'd put money on the fact that your friend is correct.
@Reginal T. Squirge Call her/him, maybe?
Advice derived from one line of a song's lyrics!
I just found out that not one, but two of my closest friends count "Atlas Shrugged" as one of their favourite books.
@packedsuitcase They have remained friends with you because they are lying in wait to harvest your body-fuels and grow still more powerful
@LordHennyson Bahahahahaha! It just astounds me. I cannot find one redeeming thing about that book.
@packedsuitcase Sadly, it's one of my boyfriend's favorites. :( I try not to discuss it with him, but he gave me a copy last year. Dusty.
@packedsuitcase The paperback version is a pretty good fire starter.
Ugh, I made a big stupid mistake at work on Monday. Well, technically the mistake was made on Thurs-Fri, but it was caught over the weekend and I was informed of it on Monday. But even though it wasn't THAT big a deal in retrospect, it was treated as a big deal at the time and there was still that awful feeling of failure, and I cried in front of my team lead. :( I think I've made up for it and then some (by putting out some really good work this week), but ugh.
@frigwiggin Aww, man--I know it's cliched to say but shit happens, we're all human, blah-blah. Maybe the fact that it was made a big deal of can be viewed as proof that it doesn't often happen?
I found out this week that there was a not huge, but very stupid editorial error on my company's catalog...which is already at the printer. I am the editor there. However, when this was brought to my attention (by a coworker, not a boss) I noticed that it looked not at all familiar and, lo and behold, my own last copy had completely different (and correct!) text where that error now is. This means that, once again, someone else changed something and didn't bother to run it by me. I am waiting for the fallout of this. Even though the mistake isn't mine, and even though I was not aware that these changes were being made (because why the hell would I? Asking a copy editor to proofread something is simply preposterous where I work), I will have to, at best, waste time in a meeting about quality control or, at worst, be told that copy is my job and that job hasn't been done properly! Ugh.
@Hellcat Oh man. My mistake was something like that, only the bad copy was my fault and was the product of trying to cut corners because we've been so busy. Editing/proofreading is a big part of my team's job and we do everything we can to keep other people from tinkering with our product, because things would be even more nightmarish otherwise. In other words, dag yo, that sucks.
(And you're right, shit happens! It's just so much easier to give someone else a break than to give myself a break, especially when I was also told at the same time that my numbers aren't good enough and I'm working too slow. Speaking of--back to the grindstone.)
@frigwiggin I had that convo with my boss this week, too. No bueno. I'm sorry you're dealing with it, but at least it's before the end of the year so you can prove that you can take constructive criticism well, and improve before review time (this is how I spun it to myself when I was upset).
@frigwiggin Oh no!!! I'm sorry. I'm sure that happens to everyone though at some point, I wouldn't worry about it. if you're still concerned maybe you could send out a quick email/note to the office acknowledging the mistake and apologizing for it? I don't think it's something you need to do but it might make you feel better.
@frigwiggin I made a big huge mistake yesterday and was sobbing in my office before 9:30 this morning! I probably would not have cried so hard if it hadn't been such a shitty week, but man, crying at work is AWFUL.
@frigwiggin Yeah, I get that way too when there is an error that I missed. In fact, I feel a little mad at myself for the one i just described even though that's ridiculous really. And maybe Sea Ermine's idea is a good one; I think I'd probably do that, and it shows that you're not a blame-shifting excuse-maker in the process.
Same here! My MBA boss (with the Romney sticker scotch-taped to the rear window) just keeps piling on more and more task in every department. Nobody can keep up so they do as best they can before handing it off to the next person until it's a giant ball of dung. Can't wait until something really bad happens and it all blows sky high.
When I make mistake after mistake at work, I often reassure myself that at least I'm not Lance Armstrong or somebody really high profile where my life and super important reputation will be ruined. Just like, some low profile lives may be ruined. That's okay right? :\
@frigwiggin Is it a huge mistake if you literally just got NOTHING done this week? I think it's better to make mistake after mistake.
Laaaaaaaaaaadies (and gents), I need some information/anecdotes. How do you go about deciding you're in a relationship with someone? After five dates do you just look at each other and say, whelp I guess we're dating?
I think "dating" and "relationship" mean two different things.
@Mad as a Hatter! Haha I always get into it around sex. "Are you sleeping with other people? Because I'd prefer if you didn't. STDs.. and my heart... and all."
I don't mean it to be sneaky, I truly don't.
@Mad as a Hatter! I remember I was drunk on the phone with my then-make-out-buddy and told her, "You know, I don't really want to kiss anyone else. How about you?" She agreed. We've only kissed each other in the six years since.
@Reginal T. Squirge I mean dating as in a relationship, not dating as in...just going on dates? Sorry, I don't mean to sound 16!
@RobotsNeedLove I do that too sometimes, buuuut I really like this dude and I'm kind of thinking about waiting for sexytimes til after officialness so as to avoid any confusion.
@Mad as a Hatter! - I figure you're "dating" until you're in a "relationship." And the "relationship" happens when one of you decides to turn to the other one and say "are you dating anyone else? I would like it if we didn't date other people" and now you are in a relationship (assuming the other person agrees).
@Mad as a Hatter! More than once (and recently! ee!) I've been asked flat-out "Are you my girlfriend?" I haven't ever mustered up the courage to ask the "Are you my boyfriend?" question, but I have achieved moderate success in starting the conversation with vague questions like "So you know I really like you, right?" I am perhaps not the best communicator in the universe.
@Reginal T. Squirge I agree! I always feel mildly annoyed when my BF of three years refers to us as "dating" even when I know it's just a semantics thing and, to him, "dating" = "relationship." I don't know what word he uses where I would say "dating."
@Mad as a Hatter! With my now husband, it began as "oh, I referred to as my girlfriend this weekend [at a wedding where a bridesmaid was after him] is that cool?"
To be fair, we'd had a few unofficial conversations, but, sure.
@Mad as a Hatter! About 4 months after we started dating, my man drunkenly asked me "So, are you my girlfriend or what" in kind of a whiny voice. I laughed at him and asked him if he wanted me to be, so that's how that was decided.
@like a rabid squirrel I too communicate poorly. =/ I don't think I'll be able to pull off "Are you my boyfriend?" without vomiting or passing out beforehand.
@Brunhilde We progressed from, "Hey, it's fun to talk!" to "Hey, if you hook up with anybody else, please don't tell me," to "We should maybe make this exclusive," to him asking me to be his girlfriend. The middle stages were scary, but we've been a couple for a year now.
@Mad as a Hatter! Oh - you are a stronger woman than I!
@Mad as a Hatter! I got all chicken with my fella, and overheard him refer to me as his "girlfriend" to a bartender (as in, it didn't matter at all) and I kinda threw a mini fit. Then a week later I introduced him as "my friend so-and-so" and realized it felt really wrong. So I admitted I was wrong, and we decided we could use those words about each other. Shitty way to start the conversation, but at least we had a conversation...
Portland Hairpin Book Club is THIS SUNDAY at Liberty Glass at 5PM!
We're discussing Simon Reynolds' Rip It Up And Start Again.
I know I said 6PM all month but then I remembered that we said last month that we would start meeting at 5PM instead. Sorrysorrysorry if you made plans around a 6PM book club!
@Reginal T. Squirge Good to know! I've read like a quarter of the book but I'm SHOWING UP ANYWAY.
I have been listening to the new Taylor Swift album nonstop for a week now and I don't even care what it makes people think of me. I LOVE IT. I don't even care, it's so great.
ALSO my hormones are going so insane that yesterday morning I got all weepy because of a TRACE ADKINS song on the radio. A sappy cheesy song and I was nearly bawling on the way to work. Ughghg WHY are my hormones trying to KILL ME by having me drive off the road blinded by tears????
@The Lady of Shalott I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT. Red is a pop masterpiece and as I keep saying lately... taylor is strumming my pain with her fingers, singing my life with her words.
@The Lady of Shalott Re: crazy hormones, I'm pregnant right now and cry at ALL THE TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS whenever they come on the radio. My husband just looks at me, mystified.
@The Lady of Shalott Dude, I was not a fan of her music AT ALL (but always thought she seemed lovely) until this album and OH GOD I love it. WHATEVER.
@realtalk I didn't want to like the album but I'm listening to it on repeat. Singing my life, word.
@The Lady of Shalott This week I was in a total fog all of a sudden until I realized it was my hormones. I was late to things, forgetting daily regimens like medications, I was feeling sick and all WTF get off your ass lady! I think the worst may be over, hopefully...
@The Lady of Shalott Oh I need to buy that album so so bad. I usually like a few tracks but this time I've loved everything I've heard and I GIVE UP, I LIKE YOU TAYLOR, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE YOUR CAT IS CUTE AND YOU HAVE NICE HAIR.
...I am that shallow, though. Also, speaking of pretty things my shallow self likes, the Target commercial for her album is cool.
@The Lady of Shalott "like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street"
I LOVE Taylor. Always have. I will play 'teardrops on my guitar' on my guitar OVER AND OVER and it never gets old. I love the new CD.
@The Lady of Shalott At least you didn't put an embarrassingly comprehensive Beginner's Guide to Carrie Underwood's Music - organized by album - on Hairpin Fashion Club as a response to a simple request for "country music recommendations"
@lilly pilgrim Link plz! I love her singles, particularly the Before He Cheats/Last Name/Cowboy Casanova trilogy.
(why does my browser keep double-posting hairpin comments?)
@Poubelle :D!!!!!!! here it is!!!
BLESS YOUR HEART for humoring this sad little fan, party of one
@The Lady of Shalott Was it the one about fisihing with his daughter? I can't even listen to that one anymore, the tears start right away. Sappy country songs are my main weakness, George Straight especially.
But I don't really care that much about Taylor Swift, it's weird, if a song comes on the country station I don't turn it off immediatly but usually I get bored. I don't like her brand of pop country (or really any pop music that isn't hip hop-influenced.) But I love me some straight up so-bad-it's-good country. Tim McGraw's "#truck yeah"? It's got a horrible play on words AND a twitter joke in the title? YES PLEASE!
@shantasybaby NOPE! Even more mortifying. It was this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBDN8yWyNYU
Banking question: my bank is offering me a promotional interest rate for the next few months, something that's not that high but higher than anything else I'm getting. The catch of course is the balance has to be higher than it was on X date, and right now it's quite a bit lower.
I could transfer some money from a different savings account to take advantage of it. But I'm not sure if that's a good idea or a bad idea... The savings account I would be transferring from is tax free, meaning I wouldn't get taxed on any of the interest, but the other account would be taxed ....
You'll have to throw us some percentages here (the promotional interest rate, the savings account's interest rate and your incremental tax rate).
@Reginal T. Squirge FINE (i already typed all this out for mike and logan but I have a feeling they won't be able to address it in a timely fashion)
Okay I think it's 3.5% on anything above the balance. I don't know what the incremental tax rate is though. the savings I would be transferring are making 1.4% right now.
I would transfer the money out of savings for the time you have the promotional interest rate. But it's kind of impossible to accurately calculate without a tax rate so I'm just guessing! Orange you glad I'm such a good accountant?
@Reginal T. Squirge I think I will. I don't exactly know what an incremental tax rate is but I think my income tax rate is somewhere betwen 15 and 20% but I'm kind of close to the top of that tax bracket. Which I guess I don't have to worry about since 3.5% is still pretty crappy.
Thanks for the advice though! So THAT'S what accountants do.
sorry that was a terrible accountant joke that I made because i have a plan to go back to school for accounting next year. And yet I don't even know my income tax rate. Good start! *nervous laughter*
Ha. Don't worry, school will teach you a lot and you'll learn a whole shitload more once you start doing it for a living. Let me know if want any accounting-related help/advice/whatever!
@Reginal T. Squirge Thanks! I am tentatively excited about it. I'm starting with super intro stuff though because I did absolutely no business courses in undergrad. But I went to an Information Session and everything! Figuring things out :D
I'm in the Boston airport on my way to London! My move is finally happening!
I'm totally exhausted because I spent this week cleaning out my junk-filled (not by me) house and also mentally (and logistically) preparing to put my dog and cat on an airplane (It was fine, they got there just fine, everything went smoothly. I cried anyway and made my mom drive home.)
I sold my car! Our house is rented out! It's happening!
@fruiting body Welcome to London! Hope you love it. (I don't live there, but I go there a lot)
@fruiting body Welcome to London! I'm in Glasgow for learning these days but London is amazing and home and I miss it and I hope you love it as much as I do!
Welcome to London! Where everyday is a hurricane!
There's a hairpin facebook group - please join. We have regular meet ups and are doing a book club.
@Tuna Surprise Oh, awesome. I will definitely join! Now that I'm here I ought to make some friends.
Kate McKinnon? Kate McKinnon. I want to marry Kate McKinnon.
@katiemcgillicuddy Yes! She is awesome on SNL this year!
Oh, man... I don't want to sound like one of those dudes because it's so awesome that she's the second openly lesbian (and I think third openly gay?) castmember of SNL and good for her for being who/whatever she is and in a happy relationship but a tiny part of me died when I read that she's not into men.
@olivebee "He had beautiful hair that became a scarf. It was a scarf made of hair that wrapped around his little, brown, expressionless face. And then he look at me with his dead black eyes...I say Jesus, why you look like a shark?"
@Reginal T. Squirge
@Reginal T. Squirge I feel you, it honestly makes me wish I was into women.
For the uninitiated: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/08/beast-jesus-makes-its-snl_n_1947845.html
One straight dude's loss is a gay woman's triumph!
Guys. Are you trying to tell me you never saw Kate's brilliant transgendered Harry Potter on The Big Gay Sketch Show??
OK it was kind of an awful show and it was kind of a weird character but she was always great. SHE'S A DYCON OK
@evil melis Wait, silhfhsdg, transgendered Harry Potter, what?? Oh my god, off to find it now.
Did you mean this?:
And don't forget this.
LOL. "In terms of women... What do you... what do you like? What do you like it when they wear?"
She's definitely the best part of SNL right now (and I like lots of other things about it!).
@Reginal T. Squirge Well THAT was just fantastic.
@katiemcgillicuddy ahh!! as a girl who is into girls, I just want to take this moment to say THANK YOU WORLD.
@Reginal T. Squirge Awwww... shucks. plot accidental meeting... how to plot an accidental meeting with Kate McKinnon.
I work with all men and it is so soul-crunching sometimes... they are so vapid. One actually said the other day "women are better at shopping than men". These are the kinds of comments they make all the time. I want to grit my teeth.
@somuchsugar Ha! I don't even know what that means.
Ugh. You could always innocently ask "shopping for what?" and then go on about your mom's prowess at picking out power tools and four-wheel drive vehicles.
@somuchsugar I work with 95% dudes (yay, engineering) and I pretty much just make a game out of calling them on shit like that all day.
@somuchsugar Teachable moment? I mean, in a gentle way? My assumption is that most people intrinsically believe stupid things about other people until they learn better, which makes me less prone to raginess and more prone to, "Haha, c'mon now, 1950 called and they want their gender stereotypes back, Steve. Now, what about (work related thing)?"
@garli Would gladly join you on that.
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Is that you? That's a sweet costume. Last night I was frantically trying to find things to put together a last-minute Fionna costume. It looks like you planned ahead though!
@Summer Somewhere it is! the shorts were the hardest part (out of season in boston). I had to go to goodwill and get some ladies scrubs and cut them into shorts.
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Did you get the hat from etsy or make it yourself? I do not have sewing skills and don't think bunny ears on a headband will cut it. I have been consoling myself with the idea of an Adventure Time costume birthday party next year.
@Summer Somewhere I actually got it from the Jake Vs Me Mow dvd! it comes with one, so its like official or something. the backpack is from etsy tho
I am starting a writing workshop this weekend. I am very afraid. (What do you MEAN I have to read things I have written, out loud, to other people who are real and alive?! WHAT IS THIS MONSTROUSNESS.)
@JanieS Tell me things about your writing workshop and your writing and let's be writing buddies or something? I need writing buddies.
@Porn Peddler WRITING BUDDIES. OK, so. I am working on a fantasy novel. Like, pulpy, sword-fighting and lizard-people fantasy. Everyone else in this workshop is working on memoirs, and literary fiction about the Siberian gulag, and "think pieces" about the impossibility of communication, and I'm beginning to feel like I was accepted into this workshop as a joke.
What do you write? Please don't say 'think pieces'. WTF IS A THINK PIECE. WAS I SUPPOSED TO LEARN THAT IN SCHOOL, 'CAUSE I DID NOT.
@JanieS This won't surprise you but I'm writing a porn novel. If I just pretend for a second that I believe in myself as a writer, I'm going to say that it's a smart, modern pornographic novel about masculinity and consent.
BUT THANK FUCK YOU SAID A NOVEL. Is this the first time you've written long-form fiction? Because it's the first time for me and um. this is mentally taxing in a big big way. (I don't mean bad, just...I don't understand how I can be so invested in two people who do not. fucking. exist.)
@JanieS (also, what's the setup of this writing workshop? I desperately need regular feedback on my writing but it's...uh..not that easy in my position.)
@Porn Peddler Well, I keep trying to write novels. I haven't yet been super-successful in this. I know what you mean about mentally taxing though. It's like there's this whole giant world that I'm trying to pull through a tiny, tiny wormhole, and I keep thinking it shouldn't be this much WORK. It's imaginary and I invented it.
The workshop is at this writer's collective place in my town, where I've taken classes before. Basically we're all bringing pages in every week to read and discuss. I expect it'll be helpful for my productivity to have some accountability/feedback/becoming desensitized the blank, contemptuous glares of my fellow writers.
Do you have writing groups/classes etc. in your neck of the woods? I don't think you should censor yourself out of them just because of your subject matter.
@JanieS I can definitely see how writing a fantasy novel could be an insane amount of work from so many angles. Like...oh my god, I invented it, but now I have to invent ALL THE DETAILS EVER. NOTHING CAN BE ASSUMED. I'm just trying to pack all these ~MESSAGES~ AND ~IDEAS~ into a collection of sexual interactions, which is, obviously, a totally different beast.
Reading my writing out loud...I haven't done that in suuuuch a long time. And now all of the sudden I want to...but what the hell part of my book lends itself to that? In high school, when writing was a major part of my identity, I was always really willing to jump right out there and read my work to others and listen. Ugh, I want itttttt...
Truth be told I haven't looked into it too much. I also would not bring pages of a sex scene to read out loud, for...a lot of reasons. Most of my big concerns boil down to non-sexual interactions between the characters anyway, and yeah, the sex is key, but...no. I have friends that would def be able to point me in the right direction, if I did want to be part of a writers group. I haven't been serious about writing since...high school? And now I'm deep in the maddening throes of SRS BSNS WRITING and I'm like what what what I don't remember how do I assess the quality of this shit what is happening. I feel really pretentious when I start to take this seriously, and I also worry that my presence would not be helpful to others because I am just some bitch writing porn (some bitch with a degree and a whole lot of experience as an analytical reader, granted). I'm more self-deprecating than I let on! But shit, I love these little fictional lives and relationships so much! It's frightening to care so goddamn much about a hundred or so pages of fiction!
@Porn Peddler I think writing kind of lends itself to a certain amount of pretension, so you kind of have to just ... go with it? Because in my experience, most people in writing groups have that weird combo of pretension and self-deprecation going on.(Listen to me going on like I know what I'm talking about, for example.)
It's frightening to care about the fictional people etc. but also SO AWESOME, yes?
@JanieS It's gall, in a way. All creative endeavors kind of require it, I think. But then I start in on that shit and I'm like girl what are you doing step away from the keyboard and have a beer, calm down. And then the last time I did that, I was talking to a friend who had read some of my work, and she has offered some very spot-on, helpful feedback in the past, but sometimes she...really really doesn't. She was getting something totally different from what I intended in this particular scene/in general and I caught myself repeatedly saying "BUT NO...." and trying to explain myself and...is this seriously what I'm turning into? Fuck.
IT IS. omg they are like my friends. kind of. I'm worried for myself. Is this how real novelists feel?
@Porn Peddler Maybe that's why they all turn to drink?
You can still submit pet pictures to the tumblr, if you want! That includes everyone who has already done so - surely your doggie has done something cute in the intervening months? Show us!
pinpets.tumblr.com <---pictures galore!
pinpets.tumblr.com/submit <---submission page
Remember to include your 'pin name, so we know who the cute face lives with.
@dale oh man my dog did something cute, she was just sitting there being a dog. emailing you right now.
@dale Also remember to use the photo post option, as text post does weird things with the photos and they don't always display correctly. :-/
Do any of you ever wake yourselves up screaming? It started happening to me a few years ago, at first very occasionally, but lately it's been more frequent. It's pretty much always occurred after I dream of someone trying to break into my house/rape me or, oddly, after I dream of a scary ghost. Usually I'm scared for a minute but then go back to sleep, so it hasn't been a huge ordeal, but it also... would be nice not to do that? Anyway, just curious to hear anyone else's thoughts/stories.
@KatieBarTheDoor You have night terrors! Congrats on having a harmless condition with a super dramatic name.
I started getting them as an adult, but they only happen to me when I'm under a lot of stress. Your doctor could probably tell you if there's any way to treat them.
@KatieBarTheDoor I've only done that once, about five years ago. I dreamt that a scary man with an axe was chopping at me while I lay in bed, and I screamed and screamed until I woke up. This woke up my then-boyfriend who started freaking out, until I laughed and said I was only dreaming. Apparently I went back to sleep immediately, but it took him a little longer to recover.
@KatieBarTheDoor I had one once, about 4 or 5 years ago. I was depressed (although I wouldnt have admitted it at the time). I dont know if this is a thing in real life but in the dream it was a hallway of masks of all the people who had recently died, the masks being of their faces. A creepy man walks me down the corridor and BOOM there is my face, my mask. Scared shitless, woke up myself up trying to scream whilst my arms and legs were dead and couldnt move. Terrifying. Eventually got back to sleep, 0/10. Would not experience again.
MD/DC/VA people: Restaurant suggestions?? Any and all styles. I adore "Addie's".
Okay, depending on where you are:
MD (Columbia): Victoria's Gastropub. Duck fat fries, that's all you need to know.
MD (Wheaton): Moby Dick Sushi. I almost proposed to the sushi chef. It's tiny, and you may have to wait, but it's delicious. Last time I was there I got the Chirashi, which I swear had at least one of everything on the menu.
DC: Jaleo. 'Nuff said.
DC: Le Grenier. H Street corridor, French cuisine. Cozy decor, delicious food, European service.
@Blushingflwr Oh Jaleo. Best friend is a kickass chef and I took her there oh, 6 years ago maybe, and she still raves about it. I think I might go to the new Jose Andres restaurant where you eat on foosball tables that are covered in glass (GREATEST IDEA EVER). Oh, those duck fat fries are AMAZING. I'm in Rockville so I'm gonna check out that Sushi place at some point. Thanks!!!
@katiemcgillicuddy I was the recipient of a birthday dinner at Founding Farmers in DC for mah birthday. It was pretty delicious.
@katiemcgillicuddy Addie's is THE BEST. Their french fries, omg.
Uh...Black Market Bistro in Garrett Park is pretty damn delicious. Black's Bar and Grill and Food Wine & Co in Bethesda are both perennial favorites in my family. All contemporary American. And I will reveal to you my family's source for the best pizza ever: Manoli Canoli in North Chevy Chase. Get the Campagnola with whole basil leaves, it is succulent.
@area@twitter Addie's!!! The mussels in the summer are incredible. I could crush 3 plates if I had the opportunity. Black's is so awesome, that whole restaurant group is fantastic. Oh man, pizza in DC, Two Amys and Matchbox. SO GOOD.
@thisisunclear I've heard of that place, it sounds great! I'm totally putting it on the short list for my birthday.
Also, anyone know "Il Pizzico" in Rockville? Greatest "hole-in-the-wall" ever.
@katiemcgillicuddy If you're going to Wheaton you should also hit up Ruan Thai! And maybe get pupusas for the drive home? And Maple Avenue in Vienna is delicious! Their mac and cheese haunts my dreams. Aaaaaaand Pupatella in Arlington, if you go for dinner they might have fried Neopolitan pizza.
@katiemcgillicuddy Oh and! Newish place in Rockville, Oro Pomodoro, the margherita pizza is faaaaantastic.
@katiemcgillicuddy I have had an excellent time at Toki Underground, on H St. They have amazing ramen, live DJ after 10 or 11, and an incredible spiced sake drink.
@thisisunclear Oooh, yes. I went to the Founding Farmers in Potomac, MD, and it was pretty great.
@katiemcgillicuddy: I AM GOING TO OEGADGIB IN ANNANDALE TOMORROW AND I'M GOING TO STUFF MYSELF WITH ALL YOU CAN EAT KOREAN BBQ!!!
I am incredibly excited.
Okay, I don't go out to eat in DC very often, so I may be reaching here/sharing restaurants you are tired of:
-Dukem (ethiopian, DC)
-Four Sisters (vietnamese, Falls Church)
-Bon Chon Chicken (korean fried chicken, haven't tried it yet, Annandale)
The DC metro is pretty much where I go for quality asian cuisine. :D
@katiemcgillicuddy Bombay Gaylord (yes, that is their real name) in Silver Spring, MD is my all-time favorite Indian restaurant. Then, after you eat there, you can go to the basement below them for drinks at the Quarry House! It really is a night made in heaven.
@Gussie Fink-Nottle Quarry House! I love that place. It's all Halloweened up right now, too. Also, HOT WINGS.
@RK Fire Sweet, actually I've been to none of these places. Bon Chon Chicken sounds like a very, very good idea. I know you're a Baltimore girl, so may I recommend the restaurant one of my best buddies works at, Petit Louis (it's right off exit 53). It's French, freaking delicious and remarkably relaxed and unpretentious. Ask for Matt (the tall stoner with sideburns).
@katiemcgillicuddy I was going to suggest Bon Chon!I haven't lived up there in a long time but I still dream of that chicken!
We're doing a lunch potluck at work on Halloween, and I signed up to bring an apple and radish salad. So far two people have acted like that's a really weird thing to bring and I've had to defend my choice--although one person responded with enthusiasm, so who knows. Is it really that weird, though? (The same people also didn't know what pansit was, though, so maybe it's them and not me.)
@frigwiggin I'd never heard of it, but that sounds super tasty!
@frigwiggin it's definitely them, radishes and apples are awesome!
@frigwiggin -I've never heard of an apple/radish salad, and I've also never heard of pansit. I'm not saying it's "weird" because my ignorance means nothing, but if you're asking whether it's *common*...I don't know
@frigwiggin I have never heard of either of those things, and I am fairly well up on my food terms. I mean, I love radishes, so it sounds good, but I don't think that's a common thing.
@frigwiggin I've never heard of pansit either, but apples and radishes in chicken salad is really good and I bet your salad will be, too.
Okay, okay, I take it back about the pansit--I'm just used to Filipino food, which is not-that-unusual around here so it surprised me that they hadn't heard of it. To me the thing about the salad is just that it feeds into the lack of food-adventurousness that seems prevalent in this office, like when I was heating up palak paneer and rice for lunch and one of my coworkers looked at it and commented, "Wow, that looks disgusting!" Like, c'mon guys. (Also, I promise that at least a few people will like my salad and I'm not just pushing a salad on people who won't like it. Salad salad salad. I'm making too much of this.)
@frigwiggin My entire professional career is people being mystified at the things I bring in for potlucks. Watermelon and Jalapeño salad? Untouched. (I took it home and ate it all, forever. It was awesome.)
@lavender gooms I'd eat it there and then probably demand that you let me take home some too! It sounds pretty awesome.
@frigwiggin Maybe it's better to tell them "oh, it's just a salad," and let them go ahead and try it without letting them think about it too much.
But yes! they sound kinda boring! Why not just try things your damn coworker brought for potluck, and relax! Also, your salad sounds delicious. Sweet & crunchy & a little peppery!
How hard is it to put on latex body paint? Is it worth the trouble? My costume requires me to be covered in paint but it's going to be like 45 out Saturday night and I don't want to get drunk and cold and forget I'm covered in paint and end up ruining one of my jackets. :<
On that note, what is the best alcohol to make you forget that you're freezing your ass off?
@geometree Vodkaginbrandyrumwhiskyqream "martini"
@geometree I don't know if it's hard to put on per se, but it's kind of awkward and not fun to have on ... like it kind of dries to all the creases in your skin ... my friend who did it put it all over his body for an avatar costume and he couldn't really close his eyes after.
He also did not wear a coat all night and woke up the next morning with a cold. Soooooo... maybe try some non-latex face painty stuff? I dunno.
@Flora Poste Nailed it.
@geometree I know someone who painted her face, arms, hands, and neck in, like, liquid latex for a costume--her biggest problem was that if she put her hands together the latex would stick to itself and make her hands look freakish and leprous.
@frigwiggin WHOA. That's good to know, because I was planning on painting my hands -- not gonna do that now. Water-based paint it is!
@geometree The cheapest vodka you can find. There is literally no other answer.
@geometree Bourbon. Always.
@geometree Swigs of Fireball. It's required for all freezing-ass-off occasions.
I started a new job a few weeks ago, and have been so behind on reading the Hairpin, to my dismay. (Working five days a week is hard, it turns out. And I have been away for the last two weekends seeing my boyfriend, so even less free time.) I am tired, but enjoying the work - it's a temporary receptionist post in a doctor's surgery (where my mum is manager, argh, nepotism. But she didn't offer me the job!). It can be quite full-on, but it's interesting - and yay, extra money!
I also posted a while ago about possibly having to move to a new office at work. My manager and I are now going to get to stay in our current building, but just move downstairs. I am very relieved. (The people who are now moving are not, though, and I feel bad.)
@Verity I get behind on reading the Hairpin when I'm busy too. Yes, it is a responsibility of ours to catch up.
@whizz_dumb It is. Hairpin, then sleep! (Although I have overslept a bit over the last few days, leading to cross parents.)
Oh, on the subject of new jobs: I got a payslip today and have paid income tax for the first time in my life, which is weirdly exciting. (As my dad pointed out, I will probably get it back, as it was quite a lot, but still! Contributing to society! (Disclaimer: Non-taxpayers also contribute to society.))
Okay, trying again:
Anyone gotten an endometrial ablation with Thermachoice? If so, thoughts?
I can't use NovaSure because of my implant, and it sounds like Thermachoice might not even be worth it.
Also for MN ladies, go to mawll.org and check out The Minnesota Arm Wrestling League for Ladies new website! Spread the word, check the wants ads, and get in touch if you want to help.
Inaugural Brawl 01/11/2013, probably at Acadia. Or come see us open for the MN Roller Girls on 11/10 at Roy Wilkins.
@NeverOddOrEven I had my first ablation with Thermachoice, and it was not anywhere near as effective as I had hoped it would be. :-/ A little over a year later, I had a second ablation done with NovaSure, and it was entirely successful. Now, granted, the doc who did the first one had not performed the procedure before, BUT the manufacturer rep was there to supervise, so I feel confident, my doc did it correctly. From what I understand, the Thermachoice is just a less effective technology, BUT it might work for you! The doc who did my second ablation was incredibly experienced at doing them, plus I think he just ended up clearing out what was left from the first procedure.
Either way, I think I was just a super hard case. To the point I had my darn uterus yanked two years ago so I'm done with ALL THAT CRAP FOREVER YAY ME! Ahem. Hope you figure out a good course of action for yourself.
Now that such dirty business is out of the way, I have a de facto blog post on my life, which I feel I need to get out somewhere, but I discourage you from reading, cuz it's long.
My personal condition continues to worsen. I am feeling remarkably well today but I am on edge over the possibility of slipping again. I am in the throes of a mental illness of a severity I have not experienced before, even as I am prone to depression around this time of year. I am numbed to the proclamations of love and concern that came from my friends – even my best friend, who I profess to love above all others. I cannot feel her love for me! I know it is there but I cannot even remember what it feels like. Strangers reach out to me and I can only think of the contempt with which they view me. A writer whose work I love and admire contacted me out of the blue to offer her support, but in correspondence I offered only sadness and belligerence and she stopped responding to me. I want to say "I'm sorry" over and over but I've said it so much that it's lost all meaning. I find myself wanting to be subducted under the earth, I want to stop breathing.
I no longer know why I feel the way I do. My mood swings up and down and up again, within the course of minutes. I feel nothing and then I feel everything with such vividness, and neither is pleasant. Talking to others doesn’t seem to help. It's a physical feeling - a thick opaqueness in my chest, heavy and painful, like concrete. I began to hate my body and its feeling, and in my madness I cut myself. I thought I had only scratched the skin but then I began to bleed. I woke up the next day and was so alarmed! I am a different person in that state, but I feel like the marks are signs of that incorporeal part of me becoming more and more real.
My roommate has begun to notice, I think. He remarks that I sequester myself in my room when I'm home. He noticed and commented on the cuts, and I don’t think he believed my explanation of an ornery cat. It’s certainly difficult for a cat to scratch in cross patterns.
My therapist thinks it might have been the Cymbalta I began taking at the start of it some weeks ago. I am switching to another medicine. I hope it works but drugs haven’t been particularly useful for me in the past. I just have to wait this out, or die.
For some stupid reason I agreed to go on a date yesterday, as well. I should have declined, I certainly should have declined when she proposed going to Staten Island and eating diner food. She was perfectly nice, a nerdy arts student, but it was an awful date. I think we both wished to be somewhere else for the entirety of it.
So yeah, life's bad right now. I'm changing some of my habits in the meantime but I have a lot of work to do and it's piling up. I may have to ask for an extension on my projects.
@Danzig! Hey buddy. I'm so sorry you're going through this. First and foremost, I wonder if you should schedule an emergency meeting with your therapist, and maybe a physician. From what you've written, there looks to be some immediate danger to yourself, and I believe I speak for everyone when I say please take care of yourself.
Secondly, have you ever had an experience with faith? I'm not talking about religion or Jesus or even God; I mean, have you ever accepted something without actually seeing/feeling/smelling it? Take the solar system for example: do you believe those planets are out there, spinning away? Well, the love your friends/family have for you is like those planets right now. You might not be able to feel it or experience it directly at the moment, but it's there. You can take that on faith, and I can certify that it's true. Just like Jupiter is a giant ball of gas millions of light years away, your friends love and care for you. Just know it's out there.
Third: I don't know you in person, but I do know, from what I've read here, that the world would be a worse place if you were subducted under it. Stick around.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I have had a few unscheduled meetings with my therapist, which necessitated the medication change. I've got him on call just in case.
But yeah, thanks. I know people care about me, but it doesn't feel good to really solicit their attention. When this all first started I knew well enough that I needed to reach out to other people (I did just that here, in fact, some weeks ago, later in the weekend in a FOT, and it helped), but because it hasn't ameliorated the feeling as of late (it's actually exacerbated it) I'm loathe to seek it out now, especially when I've been messing up w/ the writer and others. I want to kill myself, to be sure, but I'm also v. afraid of death and that's a pretty significant obstacle, so I have it in my mind that there's no use in alarming people. If it chips away then, well, I'll be dead.
Actually one good thing that happened is my bestie called me, some months after our last contact. She hadn't seen nor heard my calls for help, but she said I could call her anytime and that she would be very angry w/ me if I killed myself. Of course I called her several times in the past few weeks and she didn't respond, but I know not to take it personally, that's just the way she is. Were I still back home I would go to her apartment and she would dote on me for as long as needed.
@Danzig! I want to add on to what Rose said and say, yes please schedule an emergency appointment with your therapist AND/OR go to the emergency room if you're at the point where you're considering harming yourself. Ask your best friend or your roommate to go with you if necessary. Drop the work and take care of yourself first.
@Danzig! I should clarify that my friend doesn't check her messages and that's why she doesn't respond. She does not have a laissez-faire attitude toward suicide.
@Danzig! I feel you on that. It's hard to feel needy. I had a similar low point, during which the self-loathing was unbearable and I thought everyone was pitying me and giving each other serious side-eye behind my back. It's a really tough feeling. But the reality is, something is likely wrong with the chemicals in your brain and you're not feeling well.
The reality is, no one pities you. They want you to be happy, and since they aren't stuck in the mire of your depression like you are, they don't think about it all the time. Maybe they had an unpleasant interaction with you, but they aren't dwelling on it.
The reality is, your friends want to help you. Call them, tweet them, email them. If they're worthwhile human beings, they won't care about the frequency. It's great you've got professional help, and I'd say don't be worried about seeing your therapist too much. And yeah, if you're really feeling down, head to the ER. Sounds scary, but they actually care about you, too.
@Danzig! I keep thinking of that comment you wrote about your best friend; it's been reverberating around in my head all day. It was so tenderly and honestly written, it shows how much love you have to give. People who love that fiercely have people loving them equally as fiercely back, even if sometimes that love is hard to pick up. Please take care of yourself, and to continue to love.
@Danzig! That sounds terrible and terribly familiar. I don't have a huge load of answers other than what has already been said, but I think the best advice I can give you is to not give in to the temptation to isolate yourself. If dating makes you feel worse, don't date, but do try to schedule friend-dates or acquaintance-dates or skype-friend-dates or groups-of-strangers-from-meetup.com dates if you can. I don't know, yet, how to regain hope and the ability to enjoy things when I'm in that mood (if I find out I'll tell you), but having that bit of human contact can provide a respite, a touch of objectivity, and a structure to your life that you can cling to when you're sinking into that painful greyness. I'm not able to view it as something to look forward to, not in that state, but it is something in my life that isn't an eternity of self-hatred.
Also, you won't like this, but do it anyway: tell your roommate what you're going through. You don't have to pour your heart out, but he should know that you're depressed and that you're going through some tough times. Hiding it from him will only add to your stress burden and make you feel more alone.
@Danzig! Please don't kill yourself. I know that's blunt, and I know it's roughly worded, but I'm panicking a little bit after reading your letter and please please please don't kill yourself. We would miss you. I would miss you. Your friend that you wrote about with so much love would definitely miss you.
I heartily second everything that Rose wrote above in her beautifully written response. Call your therapist (tonight? right now?) and get an emergency meeting. Or got to a hospital and tell them you're having suicidal ideation, and then stay there until someone helps you. Call a suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255). Please, please don't leave us.
@Cawendaw Yeah, seconded on the telling the roomie. A lot of people are not very adept with mental health issues (cause in our culture we don't talk about it as much/often as we should) so there's a chance he/she might not know what to say, but go ahead and give them a head's up any way.
E.g., "I'm not in the best place right now. I've been diagnosed with X, and it's coming on pretty strong at the moment. You might notice Y behaviors, that's part of this. Don't be alarmed, but don't hesitate to do Z (concrete steps around helping you get help in a crisis) if it becomes necessary."
I think a lot of times people (friends, roommates, acquaintances) want to be helpful, but they need to know exactly what you want them to do or not do and a lot of people feel uncomfortable bringing these subjects up or asking outright. So maybe include, "I'm telling you this now so you know, and I do/don't want to talk about this again."
@Danzig! @Danzig! I am so sorry you're dealing with this. What Rose said is pitch perfect. And what Rose said about not knowing you in person, and still knowing the world is better for you? I also know this to be true. Someone wrote to Chris Gethard a couple weeks ago, about feeling suicidal, and Chris responded by telling the anonymous writer that he loved them. Without having ever met them, he absolutely loved them. It is a beautiful piece, and I will link it below. I truly, truly hope you read it.
I want you to know, with complete sincerity, even though I don't know you, I love you. Not because Gethard said it, not because I'm trying to be nice, but because I do. I know how dark things can get. How impossible life can seem. And I absolutely love you.
Here is the Gethard post: http://thechrisgethardshow.tumblr.com/post/31345619495/for-gethard-anonymous-asks-gethard-i-know-youve
Please be good to yourself, you are worth so much more than you know.
@wee_ramekin Seconded on the hotline. Talk to somebody, they're professionals. A lot of first responders and people in the helping professions got into it because they really, really care about everyone, which is beautiful.
Seconding also what IROTOT, Rose said about faith. I'm a big ol' atheist, but there are also things that I believe in at the very core of myself. One of them is that we can connect with one another in a meaningful way over amazing distances. Right now, you need a bunch of folks to lift you up, but someday you can return the favor to someone just by being there.
@Danzig! Ok, I just read your second comment. You don't say if you've told your psychiatrist or therapist that you're having thoughts of suicide. Have you? Please do. I know it's tempting to withhold, but that's the sort of thing they're there for. Also seconding what other people have said about the hotline. Please do not be the only person who knows you are thinking about suicide.
@Cawendaw I have, which is why he's on call for me. I'm okay right now, remarkably so in fact. I'm hoping this lasts.
Thanks @all. I'm going to try and keep things even for y'all.
@Danzig! It's hard to reply to something like this online without looking like I'm giving you orders. But if you could see me, you'd see I'm speaking gently and with a smile, because hoo boy, been there. We just like you, is all. (And this is the part where I'd hug you even though we don't know each other well, and then I'd apologize for being in your bubble and we'd sit and watch Battlestar Galactica an both simultaneously fall in love with Starbuck.)
@Danzig! I want you to know something: I have been on the other end of the phone with a friend who was contemplating suicide. I looked up the suicide hotline for her, and we called together on three-way calling. Not for one second did I think that she was a burden, or that her sorrow was an inconvenience. People want to help. Your friends want to help. Take it on faith, for now, if you can't believe it, that they do. Call on them when you need them.
I hope this gets better for you.
@wee_ramekin An aside: I'd like to be your friend a) because you sound very cool, calm and caring and b) because you know how to three-way call and I don't. Have a lovely weekend.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Yeah, three-way call! That's like sewing on a button level competent. Also, Starbuck, yessssssss. Hooboy, yessssss.
@Danzig! This is pitifully inadequate in the face of your troubles, but: you are an articulate, compassionate and sensitive person. Many of us who have never met you care about you and want you to feel better. The wrong meds can make a bad situation into an unbearable situation, and the struggle to find the proper one/combination is so cruel to someone who is already suffering. I guess the only wise thing I have to say is that this feeling is temporary even if your chemistry won't allow you to know that right now. <3
@Danzig! Seconding everyone who said call a hotline if you need to, call your doc, call your therapist, and if you absolutely must, just go to the emergency room. Meds that don't mesh with your mind are just the worst, aren't they? Do whatever you need to do to get yourself through this. Know that people care.
@Pindrop I so, so love that you delurked in order to perform an act of kindness.
@Pindrop What this brave bird said.
Thanks again @all. I've all the resources I need :) today is going really well, too. I'm not sure what the deal is, I wouldn't expect dropping the Cymbalta (/ taking on Wellbutrin XL) would have an immediate effect but perhaps it does. I'm even doing well through the weird dreams / sweaty AC-free nights of the last few, and the really horribly severe fights my coupled roommates are getting into on the regular.
@Danzig! Please ignore comment at the bottom of the page, wrote that before reading this. I would like to second the comment about feeling all the thighs, and offer you plentiful internet hugs, if the desire so takes you.
Halloween costume chatter: So, I was going to where a bunch of whisks and go as "Whisk-y," but have decided on a different outfit that allows me to where a collared shirt, suit vest, tie and fedora. I found one year that when I wore a fake beard (chapstick smeared on my face and coffee grounds on top of it), women went sort of bonkers for it.
I'm hoping my suit has the same reaction. I like drinking for free.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose haha is there a name for that costume? Or are you just "a hot dude"?
@Decca Oh Christ on a crutch, I wrote the wrong "wear." Ugh. And yeah, there's a costume that goes along with it, but it's part of my profession, and I can't quite bring myself to talk about it online just yet.
Oh, funny. FUNNY. Things I actually feel afraid of this weekend, in no particular order, include:
- The freak storm that is going to destroy New York;
- The possibility that, during said freak storm, one of my neighbors will accidentally set fire to my building with an untended saint candle;
- The likelihood that I will never have a real job, a job which pays me a living wage, offers me health insurance, and which does not seem disturbingly like the exact shite job I had BEFORE I spent a fortune on a master's degree;
- All the things that could be wrong with my relationship, even though they probably aren't, because it is easier to be afraid silently and indignantly with some wine than talk about Feelings with my boyfriend sometimes.
And that my cat is understimulated. Not that maybe I anthropomorphize my cat to excess, and forget that he is not actually a baby, but that he is bored. Because that's productive.
It's been an unbearable week. If anyone wants to direct me to some ghost stories to read during the hurricane, I will love you forever and ever. (I might not be around to answer tonight, but I thank you in advance, and will be back!)
@BadWolf I forgot to mention my persistent fear that Mitt Romney is going to win this election and take away my civil rights and turn the country into Gilead, but I think checking the weather repeatedly has kind of pushed my addiction to TalkingPointsMemo to the back of my mind. So there is that.
@BadWolf With you on the hurricane nerves (I'm in North Jersey, and the BF is in the heart of a notoriously floody area) and maybe the cat thing too a little actually. But is it my fault that this cat, who's been with me since 2001, has never really gotten all that into playing with toys, with me or on her own? I don't mean to disobey Jackson Galaxy but she just ain't havin' it!
@Hellcat Aww! My little fella is actually very into playing with toys on his own, or bringing me things to throw for him. I just don't run around with the string toy very much, or have another cat to keep him company, and feel all the guilt. Oh, my god, this hurricane. The BF is only like 10 blocks away, but last summer, when we were supposed to get Hurricane Irene, I asked if I (and my cat! who loves BF's cats) could stay with him, and he was not into it. Admittedly, we hadn't been dating long then, but I don't even want to bring it up for fear he'd get that closed-up freaked-out face he gets when a normal thing I have asked is Not Okay, and I will have to be like, "Okay, I see that you don't like that, so let's just shelve it, it's fine," even though it is NOT fine, I do not want to be alone for days and days of Biblically-disastrous storms. Bah.
@BadWolf I'm pretty sure my cat would want nothing to do with another cat; I just know, so I don't feel bad about that. And by no means do I curtail the toy buying, even though I know it's useless. She'll swat at something here and there but has never been a "nighttime-crazies" type. And she has never pulled all of the toilet paper off the roll and gleefully run down the hall with it, like some cats I've had!
Last year at around this time, my BF had to come stay with me for a month due to his uninhabitable waterlogged home (almost six feet, and only two weeks after he'd finished repairing the damage from the previous April). He's oddly calm now, and resigned to the fact that he might have to move everything upstairs--again. The problem is he's working all weekend and doesn't know when he'll be able to do it, should he have to. The irony is that he had a free afternoon today but couldn't do that because prospective buyers are coming to look at the house (a house that, if flooding happens, they will not likely decide to buy anyway) tomorrow morning so everything cannot be crammed into the living room all willy-nilly crazy-like. So, he's kind of in a horrible limbo at the moment.
@BadWolf does your kitty like laser pointers? Mine goes nuts chasing the red dot, and I can do it from my bed while I'm reading or while I'm wandering around the house tidying up. That's how I alleviate my cat guilt.
Also.... CANNIBAL COP?!?! Discuss.
@NeverOddOrEven OH MY GOD YES WHAT THE SHIT
I...oh, my god. I keep thinking about that woman, and how she MET HIM FOR COFFEE or something like that, and all the while he was thinking about SLOWLY COOKING HER. And also how everyone has screencaps of his OKC page, and now I just wonder if everyone on OKC is secretly a wannabe cannibal. Maybe "I'll try anything once" is like cannibal hanky code.
@NeverOddOrEven I missed this story, clearly, because I am confused. Someone want to give me the quick and dirty (literally) version?
@olivebee This is pretty quick and dirty, and also comes attached to helpful links to the story about the nanny who killed her two little charges. New York is all kinds fun right now. http://gothamist.com/2012/10/25/photos_cannibal_cop_called_himself.php#photo-1
@NeverOddOrEven SO TERRIFYING I HONESTLY COULDN'T BELIEVE IT WAS REAL FOR A FEW MINUTES
@MilesofMountains Same--jesus christ on a polo pony.
@frigwiggin Also, related to the earlier "don't read the comments" post, don't read the Gawker comments.
@NeverOddOrEven @MilesofMountains I mean seriously. I read the headline and first paragraph and my first instinct was, "It has to be some kind of sick joke between these two assholes." I LAUGHED. NERVOUSLY. OUT LOUD. And then realized it was real? (Is it real? I still cannot get my brain around it.)
@par_parenthese @BadWolf I MISSED THE PART WHERE HE WAS ON OKC!!! I AM ALREADY RECENTLY ALLERGIC TO IT DUE TO BREAKUP WITH GUY I MET THERE AND NOW... W T F. AAAAAAAAHHHHHH
I can't get my brain around the fact that he was not some recluse of the NYC underbelly BUT A COP. I do not get it. And how are they going to portray this on Law & Order?
Why is it so damn difficult to find light tampons with cardboard applicators? BLECHHHH
@KeLynn I wish I knew. There are many Walgreens within walking distance of my office (3 that I can think of off the top of my head) and NONE of them have carboard/light 'pons. It's most vexing.
Update from last week's FOT: we caught the stray kitten that was living under my boyfriend's trailer. It took 2 hours of crawling in the dirt under there to catch her, but we did! She is now safe and warm. Also, I don't know where I got the idea that a kitten would be less of a pain than a puppy, but in the last two days she has decided that she no longer likes to be petted and cuddled, she'd rather claw and climb and bite anything she can get her teensy tiny paws on.
Her toy of preference is an old wine cork, so we're considering a wine-related name for her. Merlot? Shiraz? Any ideas?
@MilesofMountains Adorable idea for a name! How about Pinot? French words are always cute cat names.
@MilesofMountains petit verdot?
@adorable-eggplant Lame pun five
@Flora Poste *boof* (the sound of a five being delivered)
@MilesofMountains Aah, how can she be anything BUT Muscato?
I just ran to find our new kitty a wine cork to play with. She's pretty well socialized, but the girl cannot entertain herself. Hoping it works!
@MilesofMountains Yay for safe & warm kitten! Lots of good toys at this stage will help direct her energy away from your skin or the furniture.
@adorable-eggplant Wait, that's what you think a hi5 sounds like? Are you wearing gloves?
@MilesofMountains Reisling or Moscato if she's light colored, Merlot or Shiraz if she's dark colored? Or Pinot or Vino if she's in the middle? Or you know, Corky. Ha.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I am holding a chalk eraser, perhaps? Didn't think it through. On second thought, *tlap* might've been more accurate.
@MilesofMountains Don't let her bite your hands or she'll be a biter!!
Having a baaaaaaad day or two. How much do I hate arguments? All the much. Especially when they happen on Halloweekend the First and cause plans to go haywire. :( :( :(
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Internet hugs to you! That is balls, yo. I am sorry.
@BadWolf Girl, looks like things are not going great up your way either! (And you have a fucking Frankencaine to worry about, on top of it.)
What is UP WITH THIS WEEK.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Seriously, this week. What the eff. I am quite glad it is over. Although: Frankencaine. I was supposed to give a tour of my thesis cemetery on Sunday, and we've preemptively cancelled out of fear. Bah.
Although! This reminds me that we never had thesis-exchange! And I might have two days off work to read about historic gas stations. I have an Internet link to my thesis; can we still swap somehow?
@BadWolf Yessssss of course! My email is wordsnatcher dot everpresent at the geemails, send away!
I'm going to see Louis CK tonight!!!
Tell me about good shows you've been to lately or are excited for soon!
@supernintendochalmers I saw both Maria Bamford and Pete Holmes live this month, and both were fucking hilariously fantastic. Have fun at Louis' show!
@olivebee i went and saw jens lekman a few weeks back and had him after the show call my friend for her birthday and he sang to her
@supernintendochalmers Louis CK! He is the best. Have fun!
Not comedy related, but in the past week I've seen both Heartless Bastards and Ryan Bingham and I'm still riding a good concert high.
I have not been to any real shows lately but on Wednesday night, I went to a showing of the original Halloween in a theater, which I guess I was too young to do the first time around. Well, there were technical difficulties and it became clear that the theater was using a DVD to show it--you could see the "open" and "close" icons right there on the screen! Then they started showing one of the extra features on the DVD (a documentary about the history of the boogeyman and Michael Myers himself) and not even from the beginning. Finally, they got their shit together but for some reason everything had a pinkish hue! I still don't know if I find this amusing or annoying, though I liked the documentary portion of the evening.
@supernintendochalmers Not a show I attended but, yesterday I listened to that Tig Notaro stand-up that Louis sold on his website and if anyone hasn't done that yet, I highly recommend it. I went to a roudy punk show in Oakland last weekend. It was so good my glasses got flung off my face and smashed accidentally, plus I have minor wounds on my hand. Thanks Peligro Social.
@supernintendochalmers i am going to see him on sunday!! i somehow got last-minute tickets as a surprise for my husband and i'm so so so excited to see how excited he's going to be when i give them to him!
@supernintendochalmers MOUNTAIN GOATS IN DECEMBER! also bloc party!!! so excited but in completely different parts of my brain.
@realtalk Ohhh bloc party!!!!! GAH that's amazing! Have you heard this acoustic version of 'this modern love' (http://vimeo.com/2094462) It's my favorite thing ever.
@adorable-eggplant Thisthisthisthisthisthisthis. Oh, Bloc Party.
@realtalk: Me too, MGs in December, yaaay.
I know he has done all of the drugs for years now but...
I really hope Lil Wayne is ok.
@Reginal T. Squirge YIKES! I didn't know about this! brb crossing my fingers!
I'm making a dessert for a dinner party tomorrow night, what kind should I make? I'm thinking apple: pie? crisp? dumplings? Ideas? If it helps, it will be prepped and assembled at my house and baked elsewhere, so it has to be transportable.
@thebestjasmine Cookies? That is my go-to transportable dessert. And maybe some kind of dip, if you want to be fancy. Like whip cream with nutmeg or sumthin.
@thebestjasmine I haven't made it in a few years, but I remember apple crisp being delicious and quick to throw together, and as long as you can cover it, the dish should be easy to transport to someone else's place (unless you're going by bike or something).
@thebestjasmine cobbler! always cobbler! The recipe in How To Cook Everything is versatile and comes together in a pinch.
This week was kind of the worst. Anybody have any funny/adorable pet stories?
Aw, I'm sorry. I left a reusable shopping bag on the kitchen floor this week and my three-legged cat decided that her new favorite thing was to hide in it and ambush me every time I walked by. EVERY TIME. Like, if I went one way she'd jump out and play-bite at my legs, and then as I was turning around to go back she'd already be scrambling back into the bag so she could get me on the rebound.
@NuckingFux Nix Here is a picture of an impossibly cute cross-eyed cat that just arrived at the shelter at which I volunteer every week: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151059820076863&set=a.145350636862.124010.58446491862&type=1&theater
Also, my one cat is scared of everything, completely toothless, kind of obese, and has the most pitiful little squeak of a meow. My husband calls her Sad Sack McGee, and she completely owns my heart. (I know, this is not really a story).
@frigwiggin Awwwww. That sounds hilarious and also somewhat of a trip hazard. My cat used to hide under my bed and do that at me as I was getting ready for work (white cat, black dress pants, of course) and I always ended up in this crazy hoppy pants dance trying not to fall over.
@olivebee that link won't work for me. :( But what is Sad Sack McGee's real name? Unless it really is Sad Sack, and if it is, what do you call her for short?
@NuckingFux Nix Her name is Olive (hence my Hairpin username). She is named after Olive Snook from Pushing Daisies. And I'm sorry the link doesn't work. If you search facebook for Felines, Inc., she is the most recent picture posted on their profile.
@NuckingFux Nix I took Darwin out to play soccer a couple times this week, and he brings the soccer ball back in his mouth (and he is a corgi so it is ALMOST too big for him) and then trots back and it is the cutest thing.
@NuckingFux Nix My boyfriend just caught the stray kitten that was hanging around his house. She has just discovered climbing in the last two days and now must climb everything. All day it's up and down up and down, mostly up and down his couch with this demented gleeful gremlin expression on her face. Last night she was thrilled to find out she could climb my leather boots while I was wearing them by hugging them and shimmying up, then leaping off my knees. And to think my boyfriend was worried a stray cat wouldn't know how to play...
@olivebee I love the name Olive. Also, I found (and liked!) Felines, Inc and you're right, she is so cute it hurts. If I were closer to Chicago I would go get her. Also, my nickname for my cat is Sir Tucker Fluffybutt, Archduke of Farnam. Rolls off the tongue don't you think? He's a gray and white harlequin cat and he has a comically small head for his body.
@Megano! Okay, I have an unhealthy obsession with Corgis. I don't even like dogs but I love Corgis. They are so smiley! And they have such strong personalities, and they kind of waddle when they walk and I want one even though I don't like or want a dog. Also, can you please take a picture of Darwin wearing glasses and post it?
@NuckingFux Nix Is that him in your avatar? Do you have any other pictures of him? This is the most recent picture I have of my kitty, who (if we're talking names) is technically named Flat Tire, but in practice she mostly just gets called Kitty.
@frigwiggin No, that is a picture of a cat from the internet that never fails to make me laugh. Is that bad? I probably shouldn't pirate my avatar picture...
Your kitty looks like a thin version of my Mom's cat, Tinkerbell! I will upload a picture of mine as soon as I figure out how to work this new-fangled internet thing...
Ok. So I have a dog who is the type that people are ALWAYS ranting about how well-behaved he is.
I took him on a hike on Wednesday and stopped off at a friend's house after. He walked into her house, walked over to the couch, lifted his leg, and peeded all over it.
Shame shame shame
Naw, it's okay! I mean, I took my picture from the Wikipedia article about Franz Sacher, so if you get locked up I'm going with you, but I think we're fine.
@MilesofMountains Oh isn't it the best after the stray kitten shows its gratitude for providing it a home by destroying all of your stuff? Mine tries to smother me in my sleep every night by sleeping on my face, in the most loving way possible.
@NuckingFux Nix Hahah long pet names are amazing! He sounds adorable :)
@NuckingFux Nix If you love Corgis (especially Corgi puppies) then you'll love this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvNtv50vWA0
@olivebee Holy cow, that cross-eyed cat is adorable. I want to love it and get it for meeeee.
@Hot Doom Do you guys love Lil Bub? I love her so much. I almost named my new adopted cat Bub after her but I named him Ira Glass instead. Oh, this is Lil Bub if you don't know who she is http://lilbub.com/
(Cross posted from that sad bastard Barry Manilow video): I don't even like Barry Manilow, but I just watched this whole thing and am weeping. Possibly also because my boyfriend (of nearly a year) broke up with me last night because I have a small child (who has a VERY active father who shares custody and is generally a great ex) and he's just now decided that he would prefer to not date/live with someone with a child (we don't live together, nor have we even mentioned that possibility, ever). He says that it's not about my son as a person-- it's that sure that he wouldn't be a good dad-type-figure because he's inherently selfish and loves his work too much to sacrifice it for family time (including time with just me, it turns out). I know this guy is possibly turning out to be a selfish d-bag, but waaaaaaaaaaah I am sad because I really love him and things were going awesome, and I just want some pinner comfort.
@Shara Lady! I am so sorry. Good for you for recognizing the pending d-bagness--but go ahead and be sad right now because that sucks. Internet hugs.
@Shara Aww, hun that sounds terrible! But you are certainly better without a selfish d-bag dragging you down!
My new policy is listening when people tell (brag) about faults, cause it almost certainly means they aren't ready/don't want to grow. Ugh.
@adorable-eggplant Yes, he admitted to our mutual best friend that he really likes his life right now-- work, ultimate frisbee, other socializing-- and he doesn't want to expand it (presumably meaning, with me). I don't even know how to respond to that.
@Shara I usually go with something like, "You don't know what you're missing!" and then a few snaps (in my head, eventually). I had a really bad breakup and about a year later I had a dream where I threw a piece of paper at him and said, "Eff you." For whatever reason, that was a really comforting image. Sometimes people are kidults and they don't want to give that up. I think it's sad, but everybody gets to choose for themselves.
@Shara Hugs hugs hugs. Do you what you need right now, it sounds so tough. But like smidge said, good for your for recognizing the pending d-bagness for now!
Is this where I can admit that I don't really care for Halloween (and all the scary movies, haunted houses, etc that go with it)? Being scared is not Fun, it is Scary.
@baumer Ditto. Can I hide in this corner with you?
Halloween is the worst holiday. And almost all holidays are awful (I do kind of like New Year's, though).
@baumer Yay! All these happy halloweening Hairpinners were making me feel like a grinch but - I hate everything about Halloween except for carving pumpkins (which I'm not even getting to do this year, blah!)
@smidge Fraidy-cats of the world unite!
@thisisunclear I feel like everything good about Halloween is either good year-round (Candy!) or just generally autumnal (Pumpkins! Hay Rides!). I'M ON TO YOU, HALLOWEEN. (Also--Pin Pals!)
@baumer - I love Halloween except for the scary parts. No scary movies or haunted houses for me! All cartoon skulls and fun costumes!
@baumer Yay! Let's have drinks and watch movies and then cheerfully go home and not check the closets for monsters/ghosts/serial killers!
@baumer Let's celebrate fall!
omg PIN-PALS I can not read names! I just sent you a note that had been sitting in my bag for like 3 weeks. Because I only walk by approximately 5-10 mailboxes a day.
@Reginal T. Squirge
Yesssssss!!!! I agree! I dislike most holidays! Except random saints' days (and I'm not even Catholic, I just like certain saints.) I do like the epiphany cake, though, on the 6th. It's fun. But Halloween, gahhhh. I only do two costumes (three, if challenged): Stevie Nicks, Kate Bush, and cavewoman (with unibrow.)
@baumer I call myself the Halloween Grinch. I don't really enjoy scary/creepy/gross things, and I am crap at costumes. The only part of Halloween I really enjoy is small children in costume.
I think part of it is that I am a procrastinator so at the beginning of October Halloween feels really far away but then it sneaks up on you. And my mother is not a crafty person, so she never made me costumes (I did have some awesome store-bought ones when I was little though).
@baumer Agreed for this year at least.
I just declared a second major!
I am... frankly, terrified, because it does take two more classes on top of already-existing requirements. And a B. Sc. in history with a concentration in medieval studies is not actually that useful.
(My first major, thankfully, is a B. Sc. in physics, which is much more useful, considering I intend to go to physics grad school.)
@sarantium@twitter Oh man you are going to meet sooooo many D&D nerds
Anyone have any leads on good places to get bedspreads/quilts/duvet covers? I'm re-doing my room, and the places I've looked (Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, Crate and Barrel, department stores, etc) have been less than satisfactory. I'm looking for something in the funky/eclectic area. Any suggestions would be much appreciated!
@MoxyCrimeFighter Do you have a fair trade shop near you? If "funky/eclectic" in your mind entails boho or gypsy or something like that, fair trade places are perfect.
My mother and I made my duvet cover together many years ago, and we are NOT crafty. I just couldn't find any duvets I liked -- but I *could* find sheets of fabric I loved at the fabric store. It looks great and is much higher quality than that Anthropopo. All you have to do is get two pieces of fabric that are the right size, which is juuust a bit bigger than your duvet, because you are sewing seams and that takes up some fabric. So. Lay them on top of each other inside out, sew the edges together on three sides, and then turn it right side out. Sew buttons or snaps onto the bottom edge that you left open. All done!
@par_parenthese Thanks! that's a great idea, I hadn't thought of that at all.
@harebell That occurred to me, and I might end up going that route if I can't find anything pre-made. My only problem is that the kind of thing I'm looking for is beyond my limited crafting skill-set - sorta more Etsyish - but I might be able to figure it out. Thanks!
Have decided to ask for a raise at work. I've been there a little over 5 months, and in that time have gotten projects done on time/early, usually well under budget, brought IN a new project (not in my job description, so pure bonus), gone places others would not, and generally feel like I've given them more than their money's (moneys'?) worth. When I was contract negotiating when I got hired, I asked for more money up front, and they wouldn't give it to me, but said that we could look at it again within six months.
Any tips/tricks/whatever? Am I insane for trying this?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Not Insane! I'm a technical recruiter, which means I help people negotiate salary for a living. Go to your supervisor and say all of this, but with numbers! Say that they mentioned you could re-discuss after 6 months, and this is why you feel you deserve a raise based on the value you've brought. Then ask for a raise around 3 to 7% of your current salary (this is a realistic amount).
You will do great! And the more hard evidence you have, the better. I hope this was the kind of advice/support you were looking for, and isn't super obvious.
@NuckingFux Nix This is great advice! I meant to ask what a reasonable amount to ask for would be in the original post, so thanks for reading my mind. :)
Many of our projects have more than one person working on them, so it's hard to really say how much of a project (and its coming in under budget/on time etc) was me. I've done a few solo ones though (but not many--two or three) so should I just stick to those?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I would definitely talk about the solo ones, and the one that you brought on. The ones that you worked on with other people, I would talk about how your part contributed to the on time/under budget-ness of the project.
Most likely your supervisor will tell you that he or she needs to think about it, don't panic. Just say thanks and then give him/her a week or so to make a decision before you bring it up again. He or She will probably need to look at the department budget and do some consulting with payroll if your organization is big enough to have one, and that takes a little bit of time.
I hope you get it! Will you report back and let us know how it goes?
@NuckingFux Nix Of course! What is Friday Open Thread for but for reporting on everything in life?
Thanks for the tips!
To everybody having a bad week I would like to, in all seriousness, recommend going to see pitch perfect asap. I saw it with toronto pinners and then saw it with my other friends this week I liked it so much. Granted I have terrible taste in culture. But its pretty funny! The music is catchy! The caricatures are caricaturey (what) and its got a majority female cast AND it passes the bechedel test and it makes fun of glee. I had a smile on my face practically the whole time. And I kind of wanna go see it again.
This has been your friday trashy pop culture rec
@redheaded&crazie I've seen this twice in theaters! You are right, its an excellent movie. The first time I snuck a bottle of wine into the theater and got drunk, the second was sober and it was equally acca-awesome both times.
@NuckingFux Nix Acca-scuse me? Are you me? Because I did the same thing, only mine was a flask of nice whiskey. Deeeee-lightful.
@redheaded&crazie omg I'm going to do this tonight! I'm having a terrible week re: ex boyfriend and desperately need distraction, so, perfect :)
@redheaded&crazie Ahhh, yes! I've been having a shitty...month, and couldn't wipe the grin from my face the whole time. I'm going to see it tonight for a second time...with more booze, because WEEKEND.
(Edited because I confused movies). Ha, this one is the show choir movie, not the baseball one. I really have to start reading past the first sentence of comments. I do want to see this, though.
@killer_queen ahhh I'm so glad other people have found it so addictive they want to see it multiple times! I ... really want to go see it again now.
@redheaded&crazie I've been listening to the soundtrack on repeat during my commute since the movie came out. This means I get No Diggity stuck in my head on a regular basis. NO COMPLAINTS.
@all: saw it last night with my best friend and a bottle of wine. laughed harder than I have in WEEKS. I'm seeing it again tonight with my mom and sister, probably. so thanks for the idea!!
@redheaded&crazie Okay, I just went and watched the trailer and now I must go see this! It looks funny, and I kind of really dig acapella for some reason. I wonder if I can convince the fiance to go with me on Sunday...
@This is my new username: it's basically like a combination of Bring It On and all of the best parts of Glee (aka a capella covers of pop songs) and Legally Blonde. IT'S AMAZING.
@anachronistique Ahh, I didn't even realize that there would be a soundtrack. Is it the a capella versions or the real songs?
@NuckingFux Nix It's all the a capella versions, but they're a little more studio-polished. But it's GREAT.
@anachronistique Aw man I want the soundtrack now! I've been watching the riff off clip on youtube over and over again because it's the closest I can get.
to the itunes! (just spent the remainder of an itunes gift card on that ... I'm so happy now)
What are you reading right now??
@katiemcgillicuddy I'm reading the new story collection from Junot Diaz and it doesn't suck.
@katiemcgillicuddy Salman Rushdie's autobiography, Joseph Anthon. Interesting and well-written, but I hate how he writes about his ex-wife.
@katiemcgillicuddy How To Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran and The White Boy Shuffle by Paul Beatty.
@katiemcgillicuddy David Copperfield and I'm almost two hundred years late to the party by telling everyone how fucking fantastic it is.
@wee_ramekin Also reading How to Be A Woman right now. What are your thoughts?
@katiemcgillicuddy I am also reading The Death Cure (the third book in the Maze Runner series). I feel weird reading a young adult series, but I loved the Hunger Games, so I figured I'd give another dystopian YA trilogy a try.
@katiemcgillicuddy Inferno by Eileen Myles, from Emily Books, remember them? I want to read the new Junot Diaz but I feel I should probably read the old Junot Diaz's first.
@katiemcgillicuddy The Duke and I until I figure out what Serious Book I should read next.
@katiemcgillicuddy Almost 500 pages into Les Miserables which I've been yakking about here and IRL for a couple weeks. Can't shut up about it. It's amazing.
@katiemcgillicuddy - I have two things going: a book I think is called Sweet Tooth that is a history of candy, and That Hideous Strength (the third book in the Out of the Silent Planet trilogy). (I'm not religious at all, so I realize it doesn't necessarily make sense for me to love C. S. Lewis, but he is hands-down my favorite author of ever.)
@thisisunclear The old Junot Diaz is better, I think. The first collection, Drown, is really good too. What I really want to read is the FUTURE Junot Diaz with the scifi story from the NYer. I don't even care about SciFi but that El Monstruo was so good.
@katiemcgillicuddy I am listening to a snooty British man read me Herodotus' Histories on Audible. I LOVE IT.
In the midst of my annual reread of The Once and Future King. I'm just about at the parts where I will start crying while reading it on the bus.
I loooove those books even though they are So Lewis.
@KeLynn I am in no way traditionally religious, but C.S. Lewis is the man. <3 U, Till We Have Faces.
@katiemcgillicuddy Space Race by Deborah Cadbury, about the Soviet and American competition to put a man on the moon. It's fascinating.
@thisisunclear Yes, read the old Junot Diaz books!! But it's probably not necessary to read them first.
@katiemcgillicuddy A Thing of Beauty by Steve Martin. I found it in a used (charity! yay!) bookstore here and waffled for a while--cheap! but heavy! Steve Martin! but I should be buying French books! But then my love of Steven Martin won out (Shopgirl is sooo goood).
@katiemcgillicuddy The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. For the second time of what will undoubtedly be many because I LOVE THIS BOOK.
@all Awesome, awesome, awesome. I myself just plowed through a bunch of Tom Stoppard plays (where the hell have I been?!?) I've spent the last few hours trying to find old horror books from my childhood (jesus, seriously, these are still terrifying, who reads these to children??)
@Lurkasaurus I loved that book! Both because it was awesome and because it seemed like the sort of book that would be rewarding to re-read!
@JanieS Okay, @Bittersweet, you win: I officially give up trying to woo Hairpinners away from C.S. Lewis. There are too many of you. Enjoy your victory!!!
@katiemcgillicuddy The Girls Who Went Away. This book makes me tear up more than almost any other book, ever, and I love it for that.
"Mysteries of the Middle Ages" by Thomas Cahill has been preoccupying me all week and distracting me from getting any work done. Brilliant, fascinating history-through-biography of the 12th-13th centuries in Europe, and the surprising modernity of the era...also it's typeset beautifully to resemble a medieval illuminated manuscript.
"Evening in the Palace of Reason," by James R. Gaines, more startlingly entertaining history through biography, this time a look at the tail end of the Baroque era and beginning of the Classical/high Enlightenment through the lives of J.S. Bach and Frederick the Great (who was awesomely weird. Actually they were both kind of nuts in the most marvelous ways.)
And my approximately bi-monthly re-reading of "When Sisterhood Was In Flower," a short novel by Florence King, which is absolutely the funniest book I have ever read. It's a comic satire, about a staid, stoic conservative young writer (a not-even-thinly-disguised self-portrait of Miss King herself) who finds herself roommates with a radical feminist activist in the '70s. The Most Ridiculous Hijinks Ever ensue, beginning with their rescue of a completely-barkers-insane unemployed medieval music historian from homelessness, continuing through their setting up a women's commune in California, getting held hostage by survivalists - and all the while, the bewildered heroine is trying to find her feet as a writer, but ends up writing pornos to pay the bills. It is impossible to describe, and I suppose has the potential to offend someone who would be opposed to the parodying of 1970s radical feminism, but it's done in a very good-natured, equal-opportunity-skewering, ultimately sort of affectionate way, and seriously guys it's fucking hilarious. <3 u, Miss Florence King, my favorite living writer.
@evil melis But what would try to woo me toward? I can be amenable to wooing. At least where books are concerned. (Just don't say Philip Pullman.)
@katiemcgillicuddy Tell the Wolves I'm Home. I understand it's going to make me cry a lot, which I enjoy.
@katiemcgillicuddy Oh! I am also midway through Nigel Nicholson's Portrait of a Marriage which I know is a Pin recommendation from yonks ago. So good.
@CountessMaritza I always feel so sorry for Fredrick the Great. I just can't deal with how terrible his father was to him.
@par_parenthese Les Miserables is awesome. I haven't read it since middle school, but I remember how delightful it is. Like that part where Marius thinks that Cosette's name is Ursula because Jean Valjean's assumed name handkerchief had a U on it. Oh, Marius...
@katiemcgillicuddy I just started (like 10 pages, I've had trouble making time to read lately so I hope this post will motivate me) The Hemingses of Monticello. It's all about the Hemingses (as in Sally Hemings) and how so much information about their lives and their family was erased from history because she was black (and had a child with Thomas Jefferson while she was his slave) and this brilliant woman (Annette Gordon-Reed) had been doing a ton of research on their family and wrote a book about them. It's extremely well written and well research and so far it seems pretty good.
@Sea Ermine Ooh! That's going on my library requests list.
@Audley I'm not there yet! 480 pages down and... like... 700 to go!
@katiemcgillicuddy I am re-reading the Otherland series by Tad Williams. I don't think I've done the whole thing (each book is like 800+ pages) since high school, but I'm still really liking it!| (And still like it better than his fantasy books)
@Audley I KNOW. I nearly burst into tears in the middle of a Dunkin' Donuts in Brooklyn when I read the part about what they did to poor Hans Katte, and poor Frederick being forced to watch...!
Also his weird awful father? Had a regiment of giants. GIANTS. He would send his flunkies all over Prussia looking for abnormally tall men, kidnap them, dress them in fancy uniforms and make them his own personal guard.
@vunder hmm. good to know. I'm just so taken with the title of the new one but I will probably begin at the beginning.
@CountessMaritza Most off my recollection of this is drawn from AP Euro, which I recall was full of stories of kings doing terrible things to their children.
@Audley Or children of kings doing terrible things to their fathers. Or queens doing terrible things to their heirs. European history can be a really bad soap opera sometimes.
But seriously, read "Evening in the Palace of Reason." It's full of weird Frederick the Great stories and hilariously awful snarky remarks about his father. (And fascinating stuff about Bach. And philosophy. And Martin Luther. And science/natural philosophy. And music. And EVERYTHING)
@JanieS Oh God, no. Pullman's worse.
@evil melis AGREED.
@katiemcgillicuddy TH White's The Once and Future King.
@maybe partying will help @JanieS - I think I like Lewis so much not really for the actual stories/plots (although they are usually good stories, they aren't necessarily favorite-author material on their own, and sometimes I feel beat over the head with Christianity which I know was his point but doesn't help them appeal to *me*), but more the way he phrases things and describes feelings and analyzes characters/situations. Somehow in describing the little details of what his characters are doing/thinking, he hits me right in my heart.
I just want to tell Reginal T. Squirge that my Regina Spektor concert experience was awesome and I cried twice.
Happy Halloween, Pinners!
@maybe partying will help
Oh, I bet that was fun. Have you heard of Elizaveta? I know comparisons are dangerous, but her voice reminds me of Regina's a bit.
That's great! I finally got her Live In London album on vinyl and have been listening to it all day.
You bite you tongue! Nothing compares!
Wait, which parts made you cry (if that's not too personal for me to ask)?
She is sooooo gooooooood. Three encores! Who the hell does three encores? Jayzus!
The songs that made me cry were Blue Lips and Firewood. :B
also @frigwiggin, I have not! Thank you for the link, I am always in the market for slightly weird female vocalists.
Oy. I have been SO BUSY this week. Haven't even been on the 'Pin since... Monday? I've got a lot of prep to do before I go on my honeymoon. Lots of work stuff. The wedding is ready to go, just gotta do place cards and table numbers. Nine days to go...
@Scandyhoovian Congrats! Good luck with the last minute stuff, and have an amazing wedding!
I can't decide whether to go out dancing right now. (It's 11pm) I'm just in from two quiet drinks with a housemate and some mutual friends. We were all sleepy in the pub, but now that I'm home I feel full of energy again. There's a queer dance party thing happening about a 15 minute walk from my house. BUT I'd be going alone, cause none of my housemates are into that. BUT I usually don't mind going out solo. BUT it's cold outside. BUT I'm young. BUT there's a cover charge and I hate paying cover. BUT it would, possibly, be really fun. BUT it's on every month, so I could go next month instead? BUT BUT BUT WHAT DO I DO?
@Decca Always err on the side of dancing.
@Decca "Give me that night you were already in bed, said 'fuck it,' got up to drink with me instead."
So I think I have a job? I got a phone call yesterday from somewhere I'd interviewed a few times and was really really interested in working for, and they told me that providing my reference check and background check go well (which I'm confident they will) they'd love to hire me and have me start in two weeks!!!!!!!!!! I of course, politely said I'd love to and thanked them and then hung up and danced around like a crazy person in the middle of the street and then called my boyfriend/sister/mother/aunt/3 cousins and texted a bunch of other people to tell them. I know it's not set in stone yet but my former employers like me and I don't have a criminal record so I can't see what would change their minds during the checks. So of course I'm ridiculously excited.
Also last week I went to go see Kimbra and she was AMAZING live and it was magical and wonderful in so many ways. And then a couple hours later I got on a bus to Northampton, MA for my sisters college's parent's weekend and it was wonderful and her school is so lovely and her friends were lovely and they live in this house and it was wonderful and we saw Pitch Perfect which I recommend to all of you because it is hilarious and it has Rebel Wilson in it.
So, I'm basically in a fantastic mood now and honestly as far as I'm concerned anything bad that has or will happen to me doesn't matter because I'm sitting on the couch drinking sangria flavored soda and burning my Hairpin Mix Cds (finally!) and I'm probably going to make chili fries later on and I'm happy.
@Sea Ermine Yay!
@Sea Ermine That's amazing! I'm glad all your hard work job-hunting paid off!
@Sea Ermine twinsies on the pitch perfect rec! so good!
p.s. keep an eye on your mailbox ;D
@redheaded&crazie It came today! And it's super cute! I found it while heading out to buy wrapping paper to wrap the mix Cds in (lego print).
@Sea Ermine I realized after I sent it that it wasn't HOT pink and then I felt sad. But I'm glad you liked it!
@redheaded&crazie noooo don't feel sad it's adorable and I will be wearing it out to lunch with my friends this weekend
I'm having a major life conundrum, Pinners. I need advice.
I work in an office that does digital marketing and IR for public companies, and lately things have gotten weird. I've been thinking a lot about what I really want to do with myself, and I'm definitely not good at this job. I get paid well, and the office is casual, but it's completely uninteresting to me.
But, my brother just alerted me to the fact that a small micro-brewery is opening the next town over (about a 10 minute drive, if that) and they're looking for someone to manage the bar, do some sales and marketing, and help brew. He took it upon himself to get me an application and seems pretty confident that the job is mine if I want it. This is totally up my alley. My brother works at another local brewery, brewing beer, and my whole family is pretty big into good beer. I love beer. I know beer.
The job would be a pretty big pay cut, but it's something I'd actually be interested in. On the other hand, the brewery is not established, and we're heading into the slow season in that town. ON the other other hand, I just have no interest in the job I have now, aside from the fact that I'm paid pretty well for my education level. I'd basically be losing out on about 10,000 a year.
I still have to talk to my brother about a lot of the details (as well as finding out why he's kind of pushing this at me instead of his girlfriend, who works in the service industry and also loves beer.), so I have a lot of unanswered questions.
But based on that info. . .what does everyone say? Halp.
@Jane Err Can you make it work financially in the medium term? My little brother just opened a craft beer bar in a small city in the southwest and he and his partner are making something like 5 times what they spend every night. People be liking the beer! I think there can be a future in it. One idea for supplemental income is beer brewing classes - especially going into the holiday season, it seems like the type of thing people would give as a gift...
@Jane Err Um.....I'm curious. What state are you in? (I only ask because this sounds entirely too familiar to what's happening in my area.)
@Jane Err Financially is is feasible? It'll be a pinch, but are your bills low enough to handle the pay cut, or can they get low enough soon? Do you have a cushion you can use while you get adjusted to the new life? Will this keep you from being able to pay down any debt you have at a reasonable rate? I know that's a lame way to look at it, but honestly, if you can make it work financially, I say do it and don't look back.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I'm in MT!
@packedsuitcase @vunder I have 0 cushion/savings because I'm The Dumbest, but my rent and important bills are low enough that they could be covered. I'd have to scale back on a lot of things, but I've made less money than that before. The only thing was that I didn't have a 1 bd apartment to myself. Now I do. I would absolutely have to reassess my spending and reel it back, but I'm pretty low maintenance and my bills aren't that bad. Mostly I spend my money on beer and food. Still this is a terrifying decision for me. My mind is racing and my Decision organ has just shut down.
@Jane Err Jane. Stop it. Are you in Northwest Montana?
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I AM IN NORTHWEST MONTANA! (Whitefish!) Who are you!? Do I know you!? SHOW YOURSELFFFFF!!
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose @Jane Err
GUYS DON'T LEAVE US HANGING!
@Jane Err DO IT DO IT DO IT.
You can do something else later if you need to.
But, if you can afford the cut, even if things will be tight, and you think you will be able to manage, apply!
Also, what options do you have for freelance/part time work in the area you are in now? Could you hold on to options/contacts in that area if you need an income boost?
@Jane Err Hahaha, um.....yes. I live here, too. Rainy today.
Helloooo Friday! I tried to carve a dinosaur skull into a pumpkin and it kind of looks how it's supposed to. If you squint a bit. And I only sliced open one of my own digits doing it!
Plans for the rest of the weekend: put sloe gin in everything.
ALSO ALSO a letter from my Pinpal arrived after a very long journey! Hooray!
@Elvis Costello's Spectacles Awwww, that makes me want to go out and get a pumpkin and carve one. Last year (or maybe the year before?) my fiance and I carved a giraffe pumpkin that turned out super awesome. Mostly due to his artistic talent and not mine, but still! It looked great!
I went on a date this week, and it was fun (went to a bar and watched Game 1 of the World Series), and he was nice and funny and smart and easy to talk to and I think he liked me and he wasn't a creeper! And, I'm seeing him again on Sunday for dinner (and Game 4 of the World Series)!
eeee fun! Man, first dates can blow so.hard., but this one was just fun and easy and enjoyable and not awkward. I have a few hesitations but am generally looking forward to seeing this gentleman again in two days.
@stonefruit Woohoo! Have fun on your next date!
I took a yoga class on Wednesday that might have changed my life? Maybe not. But I haven't taken any yoga classes in a long time, took one on Sunday that was great, but then I took a different one on Wednesday that maybe did something else, something super good. Vinyasa. Hip Openers. Whoa.
@vunder Oh man, someone in my office arranged for lunch time yoga classes once a week and I have discovered that yoga is awesome! It makes my body so happy. I had been wanting to try yoga for awhile, but hadn't gotten around to it. Now I want to find another yoga class to take, but I want to make sure it is as awesome as this one. I am concerned that she is a magical yoga teaching unicorn, and everyone else will pale in comparison.
Ghost stories? Please let's tell ghost stories!
I made a friend on FOT last week! And it's been helping me tremendously as I wade through my break-up.
So, the Hairpin, you are the best.
i got fired this week. it feels really crappy. did i mention that i'm pregnant? i wanted to quit after baby was born anyway, but they got rid of me first! well, now i get to collect unemployment and be a stay-at-home-mom! but i'm still angry that i actually got fired. but trying to stay positive about it!
@hellomynameis Even when you don't like the job, getting fired feels ick. Sounds like you've got some silver lining though!
@hellomynameis Ugh, I'm so sorry. lay-offs are the worst. Sending you positive thoughts!
@hellomynameis Ugh! I got fired like the week after I had decided to quit my job...in a few months, and I was SO PISSED and demoralized and everything else. But everything turned out fine for me, and I didn't even have a baby. Basically: I feel you.
When I was in high school, every year a junior history teacher told a 'true' horror story about this girl he used to teach named Kimberly, who killed her parents when she was 16, and also talked to demons who lived under her house. This is still the scariest story I've ever heard. Also, I am going to a party this weekend but the girl I'm sort of dating is going to a different one, so I will probably spend all night thinking about her. And on Sunday I'm going to break up with her for good. This is most likely the beginning of a tough couple of weeks.
Did my first ever hot yoga this week and it was so incredibly intense. I don't think I've ever been more aware of my heart beating than in the last fifteen minutes of class.
@par_parenthese Agh, I think that would make me so anxious, it would nullify the benefits of the yoga!
@par_parenthese RIGHT? isn't it amazing? I adore it. even though I dislocated my shoulder in hot yoga three months ago. protip: those of us who are already flexible need to be careful to not yoink things out of place.
@par_parenthese So amazing! I LOOOOVE it. Except I have low blood pressure and get very dizzy sometimes. So I lay down nbd.
I like to practice metta meditation at the end in savasana when you're all woozy. Nothing like some crazy endorphins to help you send loving kindness to the whole world!
@realtalk - Eek. Hope you're ok.
@RobotsNeedLove oh I'm fine now! I took a month off from yoga, and I'm more careful now. I've always had dislocation problems, this was just worse than usual. But I'm almost back to full flexibility again!
@realtalk I think I really liked IT as a THING, but: a) instructor was a very skinny woman who clearly did not even have brain space for someone who was all, "Hellooo, I have tits, I cannot put my face down below my knee," and who was kinda condescending, and who shouted and clapped (WTF THIS IS A YOGA CLASS SHHHH) way too much for my taste, and b) most of the other participants seemed like seriously spoiled rich ladies (sample conversation: "Well, why don't you just pay for an extra hotel room? I mean, for two nights it'll be, what, less than six hundred dollars? That's nothing." "I know, but my husband says it's too much when all we're doing is going up there to watch the Marathon." "That's stupid. Five hundred dollars is a small price to pay so you don't have to share a room with your sister."). There are four sessions a day, seven days a week, though, so I'm sure I'll find an instructor and hopefully a class that I kind of jive more with.
@realtalk Aack, me too! I always hate that "side plank" pose (vasisthasana) because I can feel my shoulder going ever so slightly in and out of joint, and it's a gross feeling in addition to being risky. Plus, yoinked a hip joint once in yoga. Apparently it's due to loose ligaments. You too?
I've never met anyone else with this problem. Very oddly nice to run into another person who copes with it, even if over the internet!!
@harebell yup yup! loose ligaments. my doctor warned me that if I get pregnant I probably should stop doing yoga immediately, because your connective tissue loosens during pregnancy to help accomodate the fetus.
THE HIPS! pigeon is fine, but I can't do lizard at ALL without my left hip popping... not quite out, but sideways? it makes this noise and hurts but then feels fine if I don't pull out of it. haha. I should probably stop that.
The shoulder poses that I have a hard time with are basically anything where i'm stretching my arm over my head and letting gravity pull it down. side angle pose especially. and the way I dislocated it to begin with was like ... from a standing forward fold where you're standing on your hands, then doing lateral leg lifts from there, with one hand still underneath your standing foot, and the other hand holding onto your lifting leg. my knees were locked because it was a pretty deep forward fold, I overbalanced toward my lifted leg and just yoinked my arm out of its socket on the standing-leg side. does that make sense? anyway it hurt like BALLS and then i kind of sat down and like, moved it around with my other hand (SIDENOTE this felt so weird, kind of like I imagine Lockhart taking all the bones out of harry's arm must feel like, except painful) until it popped back in. and then i sat there and tried not to faint for a little while, and then I finished the class, which was not the WISEST move on my part.... and then I didn't do yoga for a month out of terror. but turns out no permanent harm done!
@par_parenthese it is ALL ABOUT finding the teacher you jive with. My favorite yoga teacher is from India and is probably 35 and his name is Pradeep. I have no idea why, but all of my favorite classes are taught by guys.... which is 1000% the opposite of what I assumed I would like when I started yoga.
@realtalk Not to mom or backseat dr you but there are plenty of (boring as hell) easy little PT motions you can do to help stabilize your shoulders so that doesn't happen again. If you can feel it moving in side plank, that's bad. My shoulders have been popping out of their sockets since I was 8 years old and at one point it was so bad they were always popping out in my sleep when I rolled over.
Anyway a little strengthening of the muscles around the joint will go a long way.
@harebell @realtalk I have loose ligaments too! This is a big reason I've always focused on pilates over yoga. I had to have knee surgery when I was younger because I STOOD UP TOO QUICKLY and tore my meniscus. I'm glad to know this is an actual thing.
@garli ahhhh like what??? I've wanted to go see a PT about this, because I think part of the problem is that I don't have much upper body strength to hold the shoulder in place, but my insurance didn't cover it. I just switched insurance, so maybe I can go now? But if you have any easy exercises I can do, I'd love suggestions!
wow, so many of us!
That's good to know the position you were in -- I will keep that in mind for the future.
I hope @garli will get back to us with good PT exercises, but for the time being I can tell you what the physical therapist I went to had me doing, even though I didn't really like it. She gave me these rubbery cords, and I was supposed to use them to tie myself to very heavy furniture and then move my arms and legs away from the furniture for safe resistance training. It seemed very, very similar to a lot of yoga poses, only more boring and less dignified. So now I do yoga (judiciously) to strengthen the joints, and just opt out if there is something like side plank that I don't feel comfortable doing. But I suppose that if you have a particular joint that is especially weak, the PT exercises are probably a safer way of strengthening the muscles around the joint.
By the way -- my hip popped out because the yoga instructor adjusted me in hanumasana - never again! There was a big popping sound, and she looked at me a little pale-faced and asked if I was all right. I said yes, even though it was bothering me, and finished out the yoga class, just like you -- and even walked on it a bit before realizing I had to pop it back into place. !! It took quite a while for the muscles around the hip to recover.
@harebell It's not at all uncommon BUT according to my PT most people with unstable joints just quit sporty stuff because it's a zillion times harder for us. Or they get super injured and don't come back. That's why you don't run into too many people who understand.
Just spent more than an hour correcting a 1/8" error on this sewing pattern I'm making. I think murdering everyone would be justifiable at this point, but I will settle for a trip to the hipster bar.
Speaking of crafty things, what are you all knitting/crocheting/sewing? Halloween costumes? Christmas gifts? Selfish projects?
@VolcanoMouse I'm cross stitching a map of New England for a friend (this was my first time creating my own pattern - it came out sweet, I'm almost done except Maine is really big). I'm also about to make this: http://www.purlbee.com/the-purl-bee/2012/10/12/mollys-sketchbook-felted-wool-baby-jacket.html for my new niece but in teal corduroy with a pretty botanical lining. (I don't really know how to do hot links? sorry.)
@vunder Both of those sound overwhelmingly adorable! I am particularly eyeing that baby jacket, since I'm in the market for sewn baby gift ideas. Everyone's spawning, and I'm not a good or quick enough knitter to make them things!
@VolcanoMouse it seems pretty easy and you really only need a half yard of each fabric. I decided not to go for the felted wool because babys are messy and I didn't think the wool would be right in the washer (maybe it's ok, I don't know)...So far I have bought and cleaned and laundered the fabric and assembled the pattern. I assume it won't take too long really.
@VolcanoMouse Also making stuffs for other people's impending babies. It's close enough to one friend's shower and another's due date that I am constantly knitting, knitting. Like Madame Defarge. Baby knitting on the train, at lunch, at parties...I am even creeping myself out.
Oh well, at least I'm in the home stretch on these projects. If I can stand to look at yarn after I'm done, I'll start thinking Christmas knitting.
@VolcanoMouse My local independent fabric store carries children's book fabric! So far I have made The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Dr. Seuss, and Tawny, Scrawny Lion quilts. I have an alphabet primer and Goodnight Moon on deck for the next gifts.
BABY QUILTS FOR ALL!
When the Vikings were losing last night, my boyfriend stormed out of the bar, picked up the butt bucket, and hucked it down the street, stomped his feet around for a minute and then went back inside.
I DON'T GET IT IT'S A FUCKING GAME YOU LUNATIC. I like watching sports, but I don't understand why people get so fucking upset.
@Brunhilde that is so hilarious. what a big crazy
@Brunhilde What is a butt bucket?
@adorable-eggplant A bucket on the sidewalk for people to dispose of their cigarette butts in.
I think we all know her boyfriend was the butt bucket in this scenario.
@adorable-eggplant I would have assumed it's where people toss cigarette butts, but after the episode of Hoarders I saw last night (buckets of poop! many buckets of poop!) I'm not so sure.
Okay, so I'm trying to plan a trip to Europe for next fall with my future husband. Paris is my favorite place on earth, so we're obviously going there. And I've always wanted to go to to Marseille, so that's just happening. We want to add in at least one other country, and we don't want to bounce around Europe and spend most of our time moving from place to place, but we can't decide between England (London and the countryside?) and Italy (Florence and Venice and maybe Rome). I went to England when I was 12 and and he went to Italy when he was 16. But we can't choose! We want to go to both! It's hard enough getting it down to three countries (and Belgium still isn't out of the running)! Any advice?
@rallisaurus I haven't been there, but I've only ever heard good things about Belgium. It sounds like a lovely place - and perhaps slightly off the extremely-beaten tourist path, if that's a plus for you? You might also be able to squeeze in the Netherlands if you're in the region, do a whole Low Countries thing. Which, again, never been there, but want to go. Oh gods, Renaissance painting and tulips and philosophers' graves.
I'm a little biased because I live in London...but the London-Paris-Marseille route is a great and convenient one. High speed trains for everyone! London and Paris are such great cities and so different. I personally love the contrast and it's so easy to get between the two.
@rallisaurus I live in Belgium and definitely recommend it. I'm in Antwerp, which is a wonderful diamond in the rough, semi-gritty port city with great restaurants, museums and fashion. When my boyfriend visited a couple of weeks ago, we went to Bruges which is one of those places where you just have to pinch yourself, it's so gorgeous. It's packed with tourists during the day, but empties out and becomes quite romantic and mysterious at night. Also the BEER. And CHOCOLATE.
@rallisaurus I adored San Sebastian, Spain and it's right on the border of France/Spain. Maybe not worth it for a Fall trip, since the beach is its main appeal though. Depending on how early in Fall you're going though, I would strongly recommend it. Really quaint with lovely people.
Hurricane preparations! My entire office- which is right on the water, as I've mentioned in the past- was instructed to put everything on the floor or low down, including our computers, on the top of our desks before leaving today. And my boss showed me the flood mark from Isabel on her office door yesterday- apparently the water was knee-deep. So...not sure how things are going to shake out at work this weekend into early next week. There's pretty much shit-all I can do about it though, right?
In related news, I will be cooking the expensive food in my fridge and freezer tonight and tomorrow in case I lose power again. Who wants chicken pot pie?
@area@twitter Sandy looks like it could be crazy. I'm about 55 miles inland in southern NJ and since my old apartment building sometimes loses water pressure we bought a few gallons of water for the dogs. (I can drink other things, ahem.) Keep us updated and enjoy the good food!
Boston people, advice on fun things to do in Boston? I'd love some recommendations for good restaurants (vegetarian/spicy), museums, and shows/theatre stuff. I'll be there an entire month, and will be on my own.
@Angry Panda hang out with us duh
@Angry Panda The Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. It's not so much a museum as a crazy old rich lady's house and art collection.
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Oooh, are there regular meetups in Boston? Is there a group? I'm a bit of a scaredy-cat, but I'd love to hang out with Pinners.
@JanieS Thanks! Crazy old rich lady's house/art collection is right up my alley.
@Angry Panda Not really 'regulars' but if a fellow pinner is around we can make arrangements! here's the google group https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups#!forum/boston-hairpin
@Angry Panda Boston Museum of Fine Arts.
@Angry Panda The Museum of Science is always fun. The MFA is within walking distance of the Gardener, so you could hit both on the same day if you wanted. If you like baseball, Fenway Park gives tours year-round. Harvard Square is touristy but still a good time. And the Brattle Theater and Coolidge Corner Theater are both excellent independent movie theaters.
For spicy, veggie-friendly places, check out The Elephant Walk (Cambodian), Brown Sugar,The Similans, S&I To Go (last 3 are Thai), Asmara & Addis Red Sea (both Ethiopian) and Oleana (Middle Eastern).
@Angry Panda The Mapparium!
@Decca The Mapparium is the BEST!! I need to get back there. My favorite afternoon date I've ever planned: Mapparium and then a cocktail at the Top of the Hub -- it's not crowded before dinnertime, and if it's winter, you can see the sunset at like 5.
@Lily Rowan I was so so fascinated by it when I lived in Boston, and now it's my go-to recommendation for friends visiting there. It's been a success so far!
@ Thanks everyone! These look perfect. Looks like I won't go hungry or be bored in Boston. :-)
@Angry Panda It's not a fancy sit down place, but if you're looking for lunch and like Middle Eastern food, I would highly recommend Boston Kebab House- salad bar, mezze bar, sandwiches, desserts, etc. I go there waaaay too often for lunch and get too much food from the mezzo bar. Lots of vegetarian options.
@Angry Panda Veggie Galaxy in Central Square is awesome vegetarian/vegan diner food. And while you're in the area, you could see something at the Middle East (strictly upstairs, unless you're into dupstep). Also yeah hang out with me.
@Blackwatch Plaid & lavender gooms Sorry this is late, I was travelling this weekend, but thank you! I'm also signing up for the Boston google group!
As the HFC'ers know, I've had a shit week. Got rejected by two boys and one best bud.
BUT my other best bud is really stepping up to the plate to make sure that I have a good weekend!
I'm having a very rough week, mostly because of some recent news and revelations about my ex-boyfriend. (after I told my 17-year-old little sister about the events, she said, "If you speak to him again, I'm going to shank you, because he has done nothing but hurt you for the last year, and you deserve better.")
Tonight I'm going to yoga, then sneaking a bottle of wine into Pitch Perfect with my bestie (thanks @redheaded&crazie!!), and just generally having a Treat Yo Self weekend. But I think I'm going to need a lot more distraction, so does anyone have non-romantic (with the exception of teenage movies - somehow those don't make me cry) movie or tv show suggestions?
@realtalk Firefly; Battlestar Galactica; Friends (always a good one); HOMELAND BECAUSE IT'S AMAZING
@realtalk Hey, sorry to hear you've been having a rough week. Hugs! Your email was great and really helpful to me, I just wanted to thank you again. And I hope you have a great weekend!
No real suggestions for movie or tv shows, but I re-watched a few episodes of Arrested Development this week. You could always revisit an old favourite show or movie.
@realtalk The key to Pitch Perfect with the besties is multiple bottles of wine. I hope you feel better! Based on this thread, it was a rough week in the universe. Also, watch Hysteria! It's about the invention of the vibrator, but there is a love story in it, although its not a hugely central plot point.
@Angry Panda I've been meaning to respond again!! things have just spiraled out of control. but I've been thinking about you, and hoping things are on a path out of the crazy feelings mud. I saw your post about Boston, and when I was there in the summer I took a Duck Tour which was fun, but maybe that's not a winter thing, IDK? But the aquarium was awesome! so put that on your list!
@realtalk I totally understand. I've been okay, trying to keep busy with work and not thinking too much about the feelings. :-) Writing that email felt like a load off my head, for some reason, which makes me feel guilty considering what a rough week this has been for you.
I went on the Duck Tour last year when I was there, it was fun! But I haven't been to the aquarium, thanks!
@Angry Panda yeah, keeping busy is key. I'm glad writing it helped you - I love hearing about other peoples' problems when i'm going through my own, to be honest, and I process by talking about things and writing about them, so I'm glad you took me up on my offer :)
@realtalk The Middleman! I post stuff from it on Tumblr all the time, it is literally my favorite TV show ever, and it is full of goofy sci-fi hijinks and very little romance. (It actually starts with a breakup, which might be cathartic?)
@anachronistique ooh, that sounds amazing!
@all thanks for your suggestions! Pitch Perfect was SUPER FUNNY and I'm seeing it again tonight with my mom and sister, probably minus the wine, but it's been immensely consoling. Also I'm feeling much much better about the boy situation. Nothing like an ex being A COMPLETE ASSHOLE to make you get over him faster, I guess.
@realtalk I saw Pitch Perfect the weekend of my breakup and it was so helpful for stupid reasons. I also reccomend Searching For Sugarman if you like documentaries that make you feel happy.
@realtalk Youtube will offer up SO MANY awesome BBC documentaries if you are a history nerd.
And be fascinated by farm equipment through the ages. Not lying, it was amazing.
Halloween costume question:
Boyfriend and I are going to a Halloween party next Friday. We are dressing up as a couple, because it seems like a lot of people are doing couple/team costumes for this party, and it means we aren't stuck figuring it out on our own. We've gone through many ideas [and no actual assembly work], and settled on something along the lines of cowboys. This seems good because we can dress authentically [within the bounds of lazy/cheap] and still be attractive for the party. Anyway, the problem is it seems silly to both go as generic cowboys. So: what matched pair of historical figures/ fictional characters could we be that would allow us to wear the hats and boots? Famous sherif/outlaw nemeses? Couples? Ideas, pinners?
You could also be wicked witches of the old west! Cowboy duds with witch hats.
@Trebond Annie Oakley and Wild Bill Hickok!
@TheDragon OMG I laughed so hard. That is a wonderful idea.
@TheDragon Wow. That is really fantastic. As much as I want an excuse to buy a cowboy hat, that's hard to pass up. Since there's two of us, I could even wear the long black dress with a cowboy hat and he could wear the cowboy duds with a witch hat.
@Trebond You go as Calamity Jane and your boyfriend can go as Francis/Frances, the unconvincing transvestite who has a song in the movie, Calamity Jane.
@Trebond Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!
@Trebond: Zombie cowboy/girl.
@Trebond This is vaguely western-y, but if there's a nice amount of height disparity between you two, you can do Daniel Planview and his son HW from "There Will Be Blood".
I tried oil pulling for the last two days and then promptly had a migraine and general body aches. Is this a "healing crisis"??? After two days??
@just reading in a boat no big deal If anyone ekse has had this experience with oil pulling (or any experience with it, really) I'd love to know.
@just reading in a boat no big deal What's oil pulling? I'm assuming it's not something to do with, like, oil wells and derricks and rich old men/
@Jinxie Hahaha, no, but that would be more bad-ass. Oil pulling is this practice of swishing certain vegetable oils in your mouth for some time (20 minutes is recommended??) before spitting it out. It helps with mouth health. And a host of other things according to internet anecdotes.
I learned about it here!: http://simplehomemade.net/my-attempt-at-this-crazy-thing-called-oil-pulling-does-it-really-make-a-difference/
@just reading in a boat no big deal
I feel a little bit skeptical reading about that (anything with the word "toxins" tends to ping my radar), but on the other hand my dentist recommended I swish daily with diluted bleach, so who knows!
@frigwiggin Dentist... Bleach... Cannot...
@just reading in a boat no big deal Honestly I'd be really skeptical about oil pulling (and I thought that before I read this article about it. If you want improved mouth health it's probably better to brush twice a day or after meals, floss daily after brushing, and then swish with an alcohol free mouthwash. If you have issues with cavities use a mouthwash with flouride. And then just go to the dentist for any other issues.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR COSTUMES!
I'm being "bad news" Making a fringey fun dress out of newspaper and wearing it with devil horns.
@TheDragon I have to be finn with a beard bc my haircut would look terrible without one/my gf likes it too much : /
@TheDragon Zombie Minnie Mouse for a last minute Halloween party tonight.
@TheDragon I'm being Taylor Swift! I'm blonde and blue eyed and I made a gold sparkley sequin dress and wearing boots and curling my hair and wearing red lipstick and carrying a microphone. Hopefully it doesn't suck.
@NuckingFux Nix I also plan on endlessly ranting about my ex-boyfriends all night and then asking people for money for it. Just kidding! mostly!
But seriously, T-Swift and Adele have made ridiculous amounts of money on their ex-boyfriends.
@TheDragon Paula Deen. I bought a large-for-me bra at Walmart. I bought a white angel wig and chopped off the ringlets. Bra+socks+husband's button down checkered shirt+wig+empty box of butter to carry around = the most comfortable costume I've ever had. Plus everyone knew me at last week's party.
@TheDragon I am being "Not Impressed" McKayla Maroney. Black pants, gray jacket over shiny leotard, wearing a scrunchie and a silver medal. And a scowl.
@TheDragon I have big bleached-white curly hair so if I can get my hands on a stick-on white moustache I can be Albert Einstein for Halloween. If not, then I guess it's... Eraserhead?
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood All of my dad's costumes have to incorporate his massive beard. I think my favorites were "Christmas tree" and "Fidel Castro."
I'm going to be a subtle work-appropriate Ursula on Wednesday - black top, purple skirt, tentacle socks.
@TheDragon Maverick from Top Gun (specifically the "inverted" scene.) I have an olive green button down dress that vaguely resembles a flight suit, so I am wearing that, aviator sunglasses, my dad's dog tags, and some lovely pinners gave me advice on how to make the flight suit patches to attach to my dress.
@TheDragon I am going to a party tonight as Rachael from Blade Runner! her look relies a lot on 40's updo and 80's makeup, so while googling I found this photo and boy, does she ever look like our own Jane Marie, mid-makeup-tutorial... Since I love her look and generally all the styling in the movie, I am pretty excited to do it. If we do any Halloween costume sharing next week, I will be sure to post a photo :)
If my fella weren't busy working tonight, I would try to get him to go as Deckard (since he would basically just have to wear a trench coat.) But I also considered the possibility of us going as Mick Jagger (him) and Keith Richards (me). Is that an adorable or weird couple costume?
@TheDragon I'm going as Simon Tam and my partner as Jayne Cobb (he's a dude, I'm a lady who's almost as pretty as Sean Maher). I've got a white, Mandarin-collared shirt, waistcoat, and stethoscope. He's got some fatigues, a hunting knife, and a cunning hat. Tonight's party should be fun!
@TheDragon Velma from Scooby-Doo! Though now I'm kicking myself because I meant to be YoSaffBridge from Firefly and I TOTALLY FORGOT ;_;
Winter bicycling, anyone? Commuting, mostly, but for exercise too. Thoughts, opinions, horror stories? I'm attempting it this year (even sold my car a month ago!), but I'm afraid of the rain (thanks, PNW) and the wet and the havoc it will wreak on my beautiful bicycle.
@etc etc I think your bike will stand up pretty well in the PNW (not so much salt), but WATCH OUT FOR BLACK ICE!
@etc etc Is it possible to get a beater bike to ride in the winter? The damage that slush/sleet/salt/general muck can do can be really expensive/difficult to fix.
I've winter commuted in the PNW, and my advice is to invest in an entirely rain proof giant outfit that you can wear over your clothes. Like something someone on the deadliest catch might wear. Fenders also help.
@flanhoodles the slush/etc factor. I have a steel frame Land Shark, and I want this bike to last for years. Besides cleaning the chain as frequently as possible, a beater bike sounds like the best option. I'm not sure if I can even put fenders on a bike with 650c wheels.
@etc etc I am also going to do this and I am nervous about it! I think I just need to suck it up and buy rain pants from REI or wherever.
@etc etc I don't even really have a bike, but I have friends who are all-year cyclists. Since we're in Canada, they all have studded tires for ice and snow, but they say the worst part of the winter biking is the cars. They often get sprayed with slush or water, and the snow plows leave snow on the margins of the road so there's not as much room. However, they still do it every day, so it can't be that bad, right? Also, apparently warm gloves are necessary. Your body heat keeps the rest of you pretty warm, but hands get so cold.
@etc etc: Ditto on the fenders.
@MilesofMountains Ugh. I would be SO CRANKY if I got sprayed with slush or water on a daily basis. How do they deal?!
@Summer Somewhere That or cycling tights! I'm considering these: http://www.cannondale.com/apparel/fall-winter/women-s/2012-womens-midweight-tights-w-chm
So it seems a lot of people either really related to or really didn't relate to the "My History of Being Fat" piece.
Would people be interested in reading a other people's personal essay/memoirs about their bodies? I wrote one after reading that piece. Wondering what, if anything, to do with it. Someone suggested in the comments to see if the 'Pin would request pieces and then publish a selection. What do you guys think?
@RobotsNeedLove Or just submit it to Edith and Jane? I say go for it.
@RobotsNeedLove I really liked your response to that article and I identified with it a lot. I was going to write a response to it (your comment) but I sometimes get anxious about saying the wrong thing when it comes to body positivity. So ... I say go for it :P
@RobotsNeedLove I think you should definitely go for it. As has been happening to me too often lately, I found that article too late to get in on the discussion, but your comment really resonated with me. And in general I have All the (Disorganized) Thoughts about body image/body positivity/self-acceptance, so I love reading other people's perspectives on these things!
@RobotsNeedLove I say go ahead and submit it to Edith (email@example.com). A similar situation happened a while ago; a woman wrote about her breast reduction, there was a lot of discussion about it, and then Lindsay Miller (A Queer Chick) wrote an article in response about being a large-breasted lady who did not want to get a reduction. Do it, I say, and the sooner the better. It would be good to get that posted while the "My History of Being Fat" article is still in everyone's minds.
@RobotsNeedLove Definitely send it in! I... have a lot of complicated thoughts that I don't know I can put in essay form yet, but I loved your comment and would like to see what you have to say. <3
So, this week I got terribly ill for a day. Weak, lightheaded, dizzy, shaky, feverish, etc. I went to the doctor and almost fainted there. The next day I went to another appointment and found out my health insurance was cancelled the week before! There's a credible reason, but I had believed I was still covered because a representative from the insurance company had checked into it and said I was still covered. So that was an awful thing to learn, especially the day after I had, you know, gone to the doctor.
The good news is, it was probably only $70 or so, but STILL. And I'll get on a new plan next month, but until then, I'm being extra-super-careful. Thankfully, my illness went away as quickly as it came.
But an hour after I found out the health insurance thing, my car brakes failed on a busy road in the rain. I laid on the horn and steered myself through an intersection and into a grassy median, where I put the car in park. I was so lucky I didn't get hurt or worse. The repair bill is more than the car is even worth, so I guess it's getting scrapped. :( I helped pick out the car when I was 10 and have driven it since I got my license, and I'm 26 now. It's got 193,000 miles, so I guess we got our use out of it, but still. :( I can't deal with the mental image of the car being crushed. And it seems wasteful, even though I know they recycle it and it's a waste of money to keep it. Sigh. And now I gotta get a new (used) car, blah. At least I have a loaner for the week, and a Halloween/birthday party tomorrow. And I did well at work once I recovered from my illness, and my roomie and mom proved themselves awesome at helping me once again. Trying to look on the bright side.
I know this is really long but I just had to vent. RIP, green Ford Taurus. :( <3
@whateverlolawants What a stressful week! I hope you get some time this weekend to relax/recover.
@whateverlolawants Aww, my parents have a red Ford Taurus that I drove for years and is now on its last legs. For what it's worth, you can donate the car to a charity - sometimes they fix them and use them, sometimes they auction them - and get a nice tax write-off out of it. Charity Cars will pick it up from the repair shop for you.
@Amphora I forgot about that! I could probably get $350 for the car at a scrap yard. I might need that money, not sure though. I will think about that, because it would be really great to support a charity that way. And my family has two red Tauruses too. I love those damn cars, haha.
@cuminafterall Thanks! After the party gets started I think it'll be great. Right now I'm running around and I have to go to work for a while today, but I'm trying to just think about how fun my friends are.
I got engaged this week! And on an especially Hairpinny note, my fellow proposed with this ring!
@cuminafterall YAY! That is so exciting! (Requisite congratulations, how wonderful.!) Also, DAT RING.
@cuminafterall yay for love!
@cuminafterall Congratulations!! What's the engagement story? And are you serious about the ring? Like, the actual ring from that Estate Jewelry column is what you now wear? Awesome!
@cuminafterall The link to the ring doesn't have a picture since it was sold--can you post a pic??
@thenotestaken it does have a picture if you scroll down! Two entwined hands right? I think!
@redheaded&crazie Ooooops good call! GREAT RING!
I'm asking my boyfriend to marry me tomorrow. We're taking a short weekend getaway to celebrate our 5 year anniversary, which was last week. I'm surprised by how nonchalant I feel about this whole thing.
@alpacasloth my heart is pounding for you because I'm kind of emotional today. So, you keep on keepin' on with the calm.
Also? FUCK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GO YOU!
@alpacasloth Yay!! Have so much fun and let us know how it goes!
@alpacasloth yay for love!
@alpacasloth HOORAY! <3 You are nonchalant, I think, because you have at least four words you know you will say with conviction and love in the future. I am excited for those words!!
@alpacasloth So Exciting!!!
@alpacasloth Update! I did it! And he said yes. We are in Palm Springs and we went for a hike. We sat down on some rocks by a waterfall and I started rambling. Finally I just made him close his eyes then I got out the ring and aske him and then I cried a lot. It was both incredible and surreal. Tonight we had amazing food at a restaurant that used to be Cary Grant's home and I had basil ice cream and it was delicious.
Thanks for the encouragement everyone! All of my friends were super excited when I told them my plans and it's been really nice having so much support. At some point in the future we will look at rings for me but right now I am super happy just being engaged.
@alpacasloth <3 Yay!
Having become a lady-of-a-certain-age last month, I decided to get a flu shot this year. First ever. We had a nurse come into work Wednesday and it was free, so hey! UGH. I'm so tired and having innard problems to boot. It's before 8pm on a Friday and I'm in my pajamas already. But 2 days of ugh is better than a week of flu, I'm telling myself. In other news I have no plans this weekend other than a local NaNoWriMo kickoff get-together Sunday night. TGIF.
WORST NIGHTMARES EVER YESTERDAY.
seriously, is anybody else sleeping TERRIBLY lately?
I dreamt I was mad at my bf cause he had the corpse of his ex wife on his sofa and hadnt moved it in the two years we'd been dating. I woke up, but not really, and second dream self was like 'omg! That's awful. He only had that corpse when we FIRST started dating.' Then I half woke up and was convinced he had a corpse, but it was somebody else's. I woke up this morning and was like WTF SUBCONCIOUS MIND???
@JadedStone I was just listening to the latest episode of Julie Klausner's podcast where she was interviewing Gabe Liedman. He was talking about one of his biggest fears, which is a recurring nightmare that Jenny Slate has - she'll be in a normal situation, at dinner, walking down the street, whatever, and then she'll see this guy who's staring at her and smiling and she knows that this man will one day kidnap her. I got soooooo spooked out by this nightmare, which is dumb because this is somebody else's nightmare I'm hearing about third-hand, but o0o0o0o0o.
Yours kind of made me laugh, though, just because "I dreamt I was mad at my bf cause he had the corpse of his ex wife on his sofa" sounds like the premise of some really bad sitcom about ghouls.
@JadedStone Actually, I did have a nightmare last week that really upset me and it features a Hairpin personage!
In this nightmare I was chosen to be in a Hunger Games type situation. It wasn't exactly the Hunger Games - they existed as a separate thing in the dream world - but in retrospect it was exactly the same. I had a dead sister in this dream and when they called my name out in the stadium and I had to go up to the top to register I started crying in memory of her, then pulled myself together and was like "This is in memory of you!" but I think all that might have been done as a tactic for sympathy? Anyway, I had two weeks free before the Games started and I was trying to figure out whether people actually died during them and if I should try running away instead. My dad didn't believe they'd actually let contestants die and that I should just play along because of the good publicity, but every time he said that my reply was "fossil fuels!!!" (?). Bobby Finger was also chosen as a contestant and we kept tweeting each other being like "let's stick together, we both have glasses and like Meryl Streep movies" and I was really excited about getting to meet him, but also nervous in case he wasn't sincere about us sticking together and was planning to murder me. Also when the stadium part was filmed, I had a really short haircut that didn't suit me and I was upset about it being broadcast around the world.
Now that I've written it out it seems more comedic than scary.
Wow, I had the most most intense week. I feel like the oldest person but also really happy, because I realized I can do anything and I'm happiest and best as my unedited self. I was just watching Bridget Jones Diary, and the last person I dated reminds me so much of Darcy (especially since he came right after a Cleaver, yikes), but I think I can accept that while I can't go back, I can definitely go forward and find another person who likes me just the way I am. Because I am awesome.
I hope you all know that about yourselves! Be unafraid to know and love yourself! Because every awkward moment and strife and struggle you go through is not "your fault" but it's all definitely YOURS. And everyone has them too :)
RH&C I GOT THE FRIENDSHIP BRACELET YOU MADE ME
It is extremely beauteous and I am wearing it for realsies this weekend (I would be wearing it right now except I just got home after exercising and I have to change back into my work clothes so that I can take an outfit picture for my blog, because I have my priorities completely straight). And then I will brag about it on the blog and everyone will know I have awesome internet friends and be jealous! (Going to wear it while I blast the mix CD from PPM, yeahhhhhhh.)
stewing in my jealousy here.
@Porn Peddler We should all do a handmade jewelry swap like the CD swap! Except I know the CD swap still has loose threads (I guess I should email your partner again, huh @alannaofdoom? or just give you her email), and tra la la people have good intentions that cannot always be met by reality. (Which reminds me, I need to write a letter to my pinpal again, she sent me an awesome Edgar Allen Poe postcard earlier this month that I've been using as a bookmark).
@frigwiggin YAY!!! I saw Sea Ermine got hers and I sent them out at the same time but I thought you live farther away so you might not get it but YAY!!!
TWHW I'll make you one too! But ... I have a list of people I have to get to :S and I'm really slow :S but I'm all done with my mix cd bracelets (see how long that took)!!!! But seriously I will make you one!
@Porn Peddler also they're not really like super fancy or anything. I looked up intermediate and advanced friendship bracelets but I'm more like, um, a beginner. BUT I like picking out pretty colours. So there's that!
@redheaded&crazie Oh girl do not feel pressured to make me a friendship bracelet. I just miss being able to post on the pin as much as I want (because now I have that full time job I was dying for, right) and having my circle of internet friendz.
and i still dont have my goddamn passport because money is for chumps.
@Porn Peddler oh silly what I meant is I would love to make one for you! I'm adding you to my list SO THERE!
@Porn Peddler Gimme an address and you too can have a copy of the All Lady Artist Hairpin Mix. You can send it to Figgy or direct to me if you want.
I have a question for all you lovely ipad/iphone having 'pinners!
My husband just got an ipad, and while we use macbooks, we don't have iphones. What apps would you recommend? So far we only have Fruit Ninja. Thanks!
@loren smith I use Flipboard a lot - if you read blogs and other things (like the Hairpin!) that have rss feeds, it combines them all into a fancy shiny magazine layout for pleasant reading.
Living Earth - it shows you a pretty view of the Earth, and makes a great alarm clock!
So I wasn't gonna do anything for Halloween but my neighbor just invited me to her party tonight and I don't have a costume and I don't even really know her, we've only ever said hi when I met her dog (pit bulls are so cute!) but should I go anyway?
@Amphora Do it! Make a quick costume out of something in your closet. Also make a fake plan for the evening ("have to meet a friend", "have a dinner date" something simple that wont get questioned) so that if you need to slip out early you can quickly thank the hostess, toss out your excuse and then slide out and go home and relax.
@Sea Ermine Actually that turned out great! Everyone was really friendly and I ended up staying for hours and getting drunk with my neighbor. I found a Chinese cheongsam-style dress in my closet and said I was an extra in a suburban community theater production of Miss Saigon. Yay being social!
If anyone's still around: I'm wearing a mask for Halloween tomorrow (eye mask, think "robber mask") -- how should I do my makeup?!?!?!
@terrific Bold lips! Add/exaggerate some beauty marks! Or did you mean your eye makeup?
@terrific Eyeliner+fake lashes, for the eye makeup. If no fake lashes, get that mascara. Possibly a smoky eye to go with it, depending on your total look. :)
Tonight I'm going out for Halloween, and I'm going alone. I haven't been alone for six years. I have an awesome Medusa headpiece, because I spent this last week meticulously gluing and glittering snakes (and my fingers). It's finished, but now that I'm done, I don't want to go. :(
-- newly single, and still a little bit in denial about it :(
@karenology On the bright side, now you can kill people with your headpiece. Use only when necessary.
Uh oh. I'm late. 500+ comments.
Missing my ex. Emotional mess. Should I go out and make new friends or focus on myself? That is all. Boo!
@255 no advice, just replying to say i'm in the same, sad boat :(
@karenology Still good to hear from you, it looks like there are a lot of sad people on the FOT this week. Weather? The moon? I will confess that I am reading Pema Chodron's new book to cope and it is helping. Though my hormones are not helping this week.
@255 Mix both! Take some personal time for yourself this weekend. Relax, treat yourself to dinner, take a bubble bath, clean your house so you have a fresh place to live in, and toss anything that reminds you of the ex. Maybe take a walk in a park or go on a bike ride or go to a museum. Or window shopping! Whatever makes you feel good. Then next week start making plans with friends or try to make new friends. Not a lot at once so you don't feel overwhelmed but try and make plans for one or two things a week. And then slowly build it up from there until you get to a place where you feel comfortable.
@255 How do you make new friends again? I think I forgot how.
@karenology OKC or friends of friends. Or making a list of all the people you've met and thought were cool and following up with them but I try not to be a stalker with new friends I really like.
@Sea Ermine Thanks! And then tonight I realized how much I have to do in the next 10 days and, time for new friends was really the LAST week. Oops. BUT I did realize that fuck all this obsessing about my ex, I need to move forward, put this behind me in any way, and a better use of my time would be on people in the now, not some asshole I haven't communicated with since 10/5.Friends are not like a new relationship, weight-wise, so I can still work on my recovery. I think it will help me focus on my work too.
@255 You can make platonic ladyfriends on OKC or just platonic male friends?
@Slutface Whatever you want. They have settings for who you want to see, you can check off who you want to appear to. I use the "Everyone" setting (though my acct is disabled right now) but there are like 6 options.
Back when I was active there were a bunch of ladies I wanted to contact for friends but I just didn't have time. There are lots of lady profiles that are like "I'm just looking for friends for x reasons, and I'm looking for x in a friend." Women with families who have no time to go out and look for friends, idk, there were cool profiles. OKC rates your % match not only for love but for friendship.
Does anyone have good history book recommendations?
I moved a lot as a kid and as a result I took some classes more than once and skipped others just because of switching from different curriculums. It didn't really affect my education, I was usually able to transfer into the right class but the one subject I missed out on a little was history. And then I went to college and it didn't fit into my schedule so I basically haven't taken a single history class since 10th grade. So now I want to make up for that but of course since I'm not in school I want it to be fun and interesting so I figure books are the way to go!
So if anyone has any recommendations I'd love it if you could toss them my way. I love stuff about women/sex/sexuality or about interesting movements/organization or stuff that isn't what you'd typically discuss in a history class. I'm fine with any time period and any subject though. I also prefer stuff that's fairly specific (ex. about a certain movement or person or event or that's organized around a theme rather than really broad stuff). So like, a biography of someone or a book on say, witchcraft in Salem vs a book on the history of WWII (but a book on a particular person involved in WWII would be fine). But otherwise anything is fine. I also like art history. Thanks!!
@Sea Ermine Aaaaa! Aaaa! AAAAAA!
Sorry, I really love it when people ask questions like this.
For women's history/organizations, I'd suggest "Women All on Fire" by Alison Plowden, which is about politically active women during the English Civil War. Also Lilian Faderman's "Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers" and "Surpassing the Love of Men," both about the history of gay women in the English speaking world.
For a really early history which is not exactly about women but was written by one (in the 12th century, no less!), I'd suggest Anna Comnena's (also spelled Komnena or Komnene) Alexiad. It's a biography of her father, Emperor Alexios Komnenos, who went from minor noble of a collapsing Byzantine empire to Emperor of a revived one (and, on the way, had to deal with the first crusade). There's a public domain translation online, if you don't want to pay for it. Also don't forget to wiki Anna's biography, since it rivals her father's in interest and intrigue (which is saying something, since her father was nicknamed "the Fox").
I'd also recommend Norman Davies' "No Simple Victory," which is a history of Europe in World War II. Wait! Come back! He divides it up into digestible categories (diplomacy, veterans, policing, atrocities, art, resistance movements) and goes deeply into each one. He also shies away (way, way away) from the standard "Nazis were evil, then the good guys won" narrative, presenting it more as a giant grinder of death and human suffering in which all nations (warring and neutral) participated (not equally, but they all participated).
I'd also recommend Barbara Tuchman's "Guns of August" (about the origins of WWI) and "A Distant Mirror" (which follows a certain count through the "Calamitous 14th Century").
@Cawendaw Oh my gosh those all sound amazing. The one about Emperor Alexios Komnenos is going to the top of my book list! Thank you!!
@Sea Ermine Wait! I'm not done!
"Ah Ku and Karayuki-san" is about Chinese and Japanese sex workers who went or were sent to the international melting pot of Singapore in the early 20th century. It's a kind of bizarre and fascinating tale, but it does take a strong stomach to get through all of it, since early 20th century underpriviliged illiterate sex workers living abroad weren't treated that great.
Elaine Pagels' "The Gnostic Gospels" is the definitive history of gnostic Christianity, and by extension early, pre-Constantine mainstream Christianity, since it grew out of and existed within it.
Donald Keene's "Seeds in the Heart" (and its sequels "Worlds within Walls" and "Dawn to the West") is not a history at all, but a monumental collection of Japanese literature (the first volume covers from the dawn of Japanese history to the middle ages, the second the pre-modern period, and the third the 19th century to today). It is, however my favorite way to learn Japanese history, and like "No Simple Victory" is one of the few books which has really given me a sense of the gigantic scale of historical events.
For shorter glimpses into Japanese history, I recommend "The Pillow Book" (the diary of an adorably grumpy 10th century noblewoman) "The Confessions of Lady Nijo" (a 13th century noblewoman who SAW SOME SHIT) "The Tale of Heike" (an Iliad-like epic of an epochal 13th century war, the writing of which heavily influenced both literature and historiography for the next 300 years; just make sure to skip to the second half, because the first half is boooriiing), and Isabella Bird's "Unbeaten Tracks in Japan," the letters of a Victorian woman of leisure who decided "hey, I feel kind of sick, I think the best cure is to travel to Japan which was only opened to the west ten years ago, and travel to the north to visit the barely-known aboriginal Ainu tribesman." That last one is also on Gutenberg.
@Sea Ermine Also, my 100% serious suggestion for someone who has forgotten/never learned all or most of their history but wants to learn it and retain it and smack down history nerds with their superior knowledge:
1. get a copy of "Norton's Anthology of English Literature"
2. skip the literature that doesn't interest you
3. do not skip the interstitial "this is the historical context for the stuff you are about to read" bits
4. do not skip the author biographies
5. go back and see if there's literature that didn't interest you before but does now
@Sea Ermine I mentioned one in an above threadlet that I'm devouring right now - "Mysteries of the Middle Ages" by Thomas Cahill. It's a wonderfully vivid history-through-biography look at the High Medieval (11th-14th centuries roughly?) in Europe (primarily the Western half thereof.) It's not a giant comprehensive survey but instead explores around in interesting nooks and crannies via relating the life stories of notable Medieval personages - starts with a prologue about Constantine I, then jumps forward to Hildegard von Bingen, Eleanor of Aquitane, St. Francis of Assisi, Peter Abelard and Heloise, Giotto, and Thomas Aquinas, among others. It's basically just really damn interesting, and written in a sort of informal "storytelling" voice which makes it read almost like a novel. Also the parts about Hildegard, Eleanor and even Heloise are pretty interesting as lives of medieval women specifically.
EDIT: Should point out that it's far from an exhaustive survey, plenty of topics, regions, and people are left out, and he focuses primarily on the Catholic lands (which I guess makes sense since the Reformation hadn't even happened yet, but I'm reading scathing reviews on Amazon right now and feeling embarrassed for liking this book so much.) The short "postlude" chapter is an admittedly weird rant about modern Catholicism that seems totally out of place, but you know, you can skip it.
@Cawendaw Help I can't stop!
http://judithweingarten.blogspot.com/ "Zenobia: Empress of the East" is a great blog (more a collection of informal historical essays) by a professor who specializes in Roman antiquities, but covers a wide range of history.
I don't know if you read graphic novels at all, but if you do, Persepolis (two volumes) is a great account of the Islamic Revolution in Iran by woman (then a child) who lived through it. "Palestine" and "Safe Area Gorazde," both by Joe Sacco, recount the Palestinian situation and the Bosnian War. Both straddle the line between journalism and history, but whatever they are, they're good. And of course there's "Maus: A Survivor's Tale", Art Spiegelman's award-winning (and deserving) graphic novel about his father's experiences in Auschwitz (and his own experience hearing his father's experience). I know you didn't want survey histories, but I still can't go without mentioning Larry Gonick's "A Cartoon History of the Universe" (four volumes, I think) which are what they say they are, only funnier.
Also I just re-read my first comment and realized I said "gay women" when I meant "queer women" because apparently I don't speak English.
Speaking of histories of queer women, "Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold" is an oral history of working-class lesbian communities in pre-Stonewall Buffalo, NY. It's a narrative you don't find much of in, for example, Faderman's work.
"Empires of the Sea" by Roger Crowley is the account of the terribly costly struggle between Spain and the Ottoman empire and their various proxies (pirates, warrior monks, etc.) for control the Mediterranean, just as control of the Mediterranean was ceasing to matter. It veers between wide-angle macrohistory and more intimate illustrative personal stories, although not as well as some other books I've mentioned ("No Simple Victory," for example, and also the next book I'm going to recommend).
"Moscow: A City and its People at War" by Rodric Braithwaite is an account of the siege of Moscow by German forces in WWII. It weaves together personal accounts of on-the-ground participants, personal accounts of people close to the leaders, literature, contemporary newspaper articles, and a great many secondary sources to give you a picture of the German invasion and its effect on the Soviet capital.
I can't promise you I'm done, but I'm done for now.
@Cawendaw You just made this English major feel better about the fact that she took no history classes in college, 'cause I sure read all that stuff in my Nortons, along with the required and sometimes non-required literature. Thanks!
(I guess I did okay with the couple of art history classes I took for fun and the film history I did for my film studies major. And I did do AP history in high school, so that kind of helped except if the AP test didn't care about it, I didn't learn it.)
@Sea Ermine how about a history (of sorts) of HIV/AIDS and a book about science? steven epstein, impure science.
@Sea Ermine I... have goodread bookmarked every single book mentioned here. JUST SAYING
I'm reading Ken Follett's Century Triology and... dear lord I knew nothing about the first world war! It's fiction, but disturbingly historical. I FEEL SO KNOWLEDGEABLE NOW.
His other book, Pillar's of the Earth, is also really friggen good and historical. Everything you'd ever need to know about cathedrals.
@Sea Ermine Just checked my bookshelves! Regarding your sex/sexuality/women requests, I would recommend "Rereading Sex: Battles over Sexual Knowledge and Suppression in Nineteenth Century America by Helen Lefkowitz Horowitz, Homeward Bound: American Families in the Cold War Era by Elaine Tyler May (really good!), and Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940.
@Where Pies Go When They Die If you can get your hands on a fairly inexpensive US History textbook, that might be a good start. The more modern ones will be more intersectional, focusing on more than just the white male perspective. I have "America in the Twentieth Century: A History" by James T Patterson and "The Enduring Vision: A History of the American People" by Boyer, Clark, Kett, Salisbury Sitkoff, Woloch on my bookshelves. I was a modern US/Cold War major so I don't have a lot of pre-1900s textbooks but the ones I listed above most likely have versions that cover earlier time periods.
I highly recommend David Halberstam's books (although Best and the Brightest is a bit dense.) You might need some foundational history before reading any of his work, but I find that they manage to be accessible and thorough at the same time. Highly recommend "The Fifties" by him.
@Sea Ermine 'The Prospect Before Her' by Olwen Hufton is great - it's a history of women's lives in early-modern Europe, and it's smart but definitely accessible. For something weird and quirky, you might also like 'The Great Cat Massacre' by Robert Darnton, which is a history of fairy tales and folk myths in pre-Revolution France.
@Cawendaw Oh my gosh you are completely amazing. I never thought I'd get so many recommendations!!!!! This is the best, thank you : )
I recommend James Loewen's Lies My Teacher Told Me. It's a really good, quick read about random things people get horribly wrong about American history.
@Sea Ermine Read "The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls" by Joan Jacobs Brumberg. It's EXCELLENT.
@Cawendaw You have uncovered my favorite thing to do in Norton Anthology style reading situations.
@Gone Away Lass PAUL FUSSELL PAUL FUSSELL PAUL FUSSELL
Is it weird to go to brunch alone? There's a place I want to go eat at tomorrow for brunch but everyone I talked to is either busy or I already have plans with them this weekend and don't want to overdo it. Normally I'm fine with alone things, I love going to dinner alone and I've gone to movies alone but for some reason for brunch it seems weird. Would it be weird? Or are there any NYC pinners who want to go get brunch with me tomorrow?
@Sea Ermine Too bad you are not in SF!
@Sea Ermine Do it! It's not too far of a stretch from coffee alone, which everyone does. Bring the paper or a book or a crossword puzzle or just yourself and enjoy a leisurely morning!
@angelinha Oooh bringing a book is clever, that way I have something to relax with while I wait for my food to arrive. I have renewed confidence in this now!
@Sea Ermine I agree, do it, and bring a book. I would totes do this all the time if all the brunch places in my town weren't, like, $30.
@Sea Ermine I suppose I can go if you really want company. There is this little place in Harlem called Kitchenette that I absolutely adore - they have creme brulee french toast and spiced pumpkin pancakes on the weekends I believe. It's good, but I'm waaaaay out in Bushwick so I'd need a hell of a head start if I were to go there. Where do you like to go?
@Danzig! Aaahhh I wish I saw this earlier! That sounds super fun but I actually decided I'd like to try going alone, I had a long week and need some me time. Plus that way if I oversleep and wake up at 2 (highly likely) it wont be a big deal. If I make it I'll be at Cafe Ino (never been, actually, I've never eating brunch outside of my home before, but I've been drooling over the menu for a couple days now) so if you happen to end up there and see a girl in a blue check dress and purple cardigan say hi!
Unrelated...I remember at the last pinup (the little one that was a book club but then the book club was canceled and there were like 4 people) you mentioned something about living in Harlem (or possibly online here, I'm not sure). Also I hope mentioning this isn't super creepy? Sorry if it is. But I was just wondering how you liked it. I'm thinking of moving there when my lease is up in May and I was wondering what you thought of it (I've only been in NYC since June so I don't know much about the different neighborhoods).
@Sea Ermine Ooh, Cafe Ino looks good. Do let us know what the brunch is like - if it meets your standards I may have to make the trek in the future :) Don't think I'll be going tomorrow, though.
And no, it isn't creepy at all! I loved Harlem, loved it loved it loved it loved it. Didn't want to leave, but the situation where I was staying was not good. I lived off of the 1 (143rd between Riverside Dr. and Broadway) and it was solidly reliable at all times, which is nice (living off the L/M is not so great). Good access to food and groceries (FAIRWAY MARKET I MISS U) Blue letter trains are also good. Transit in Manhattan in general is solid as hell.
Get as close to Riverside Drive as you can, it is basically one giant park covering at least from 116th street up through to Washington Heights. If you like to take walks, it's positively heavenly.
@Danzig! Oh man, all of this is so true and makes me miss my old apartment on 158th and Riverside. Fort Tryon Park, Fairway...
It's not like my current location in the Bay Area is short on parks and produce or anything. But yeah. That was a good place to live.
There is too much awesome on this thread and, every time I comment it takes me to the bottom of the page as has always been the case for me, losing my place. Is that because I'm using Safari? Do you guys have a solution to this? It makes this whole thing pretty impossible to read.
@255 I have that problem a lot, but it varies in that sometimes it will happen a ton and sometime not at all. I use google chrome but I usually fix it by searching for a word or phrase in my comment to find my place again.
@255 ctrl + f your user name and scroll up to your last comment is how I do it :D
@redheaded&crazie Yeah, or ctrl + f the last exact, strange little combo of words you remember from somebody's post. After doing this for a while I started remembering strange word combos more often. Good for the brain? :D
@Dirty Hands I use the search but it is a pain... especially because some things repeat like my own comments or others, so I have to search around the whole thread every time.
It seems that commenting systems have become pretty evolved and sophisticated and this is the kind of problem from 10 years ago. I know the 'Pin tries to be simple and stripped down, but I think this is one of the places on the site that is used the most and a simple problem like this shouldn't be a problem. Could use a bit more sophistication. 'Tis all.
@255 this only bothers me when sometimes my comments (and other peoples') jump around and don't show up where they are intended as replies to other conversations. it's super annoying! If one thing could be changed about the comment system here, it should be fixing that bug.
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I have neck/side-of-face acne from my new job that requires me to be on a desk phone all the time! How can I stop it??
@angelinha Constantly wipe that germy phone down with antibacterial wipes? OR even better get a headset.
@angelinha Headseeeet. My college job was a "telecounselor" (UGH WHAT WHY) in the admissions office and after a particularly brutal bout of combo dirty phone/hormone acne I started using the headsets I had previously been to cool to use. Et voila.
In the event that anyone is still here, I need to crowdsource something:
I have this client who is...currently indisposed and spending a lot of time alone. Ahem.
He's requested a book to read. He's into science, particularly the big bang theory. He's also very religious, and not very highly educated, though he's certainly not dumb. Any thoughts? This is so outside of my wheelhouse, I'm more the Young Adult fiction type.
@C.SanDiego A Short History of Nearly Everything? The Swerve? Packing for Mars?
@Cawendaw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
@C.SanDiego Maybe some Ray Kurzweil? Disclaimer: I have a lot of reservations about Ray Kurzweil.
@C.SanDiego C.S. Lewis stuff for adults (or even the kid stuff, it's good too). The Screwtape Letters, or The Great Divorce, which Wikipedia lists as fantasy. The more I think about this the more I think that this is THE PERFECT STUFF FOR THIS GUY TO READ.
@C.SanDiego THE SWARM.
Or House of leaves.
Both books make you feel so much smarter than you are.
@Cawendaw Short History of Nearly Everything is great. I loved it. And I am confused about the alone ahem. Makes it sound like he is in solitary confinement somwhere. (It happens, and then Short History would be good because it's long but really approachable to read.)
Or he sounds like he suffered a serious masturbation injury or something and is bedbound until he recovers.
Option one sounds more likely. Anyway. Yes. Short History. Science! And readable and fun! And would keep any dude in lockdown entertained for a while.
@PistolPackinMama Your first instinct is, sadly, correct.
@all Thank you so much for the suggestions! Off to Amazon I go.
@C.SanDiego well, my best student ever so far read Crime and Punishment while in solitary, and said it was a transformative experience. So I approve wholeheartedly of reading while in lockdown. History of Nearly Everything is a good choice for such a situation, I think.
In my relationship, things are mostly really good. But sometimes he gets a little distant and then I get a little insecure and then we feel farther away from each other for a bit and maybe fight a bit more and then it goes back to being good again. But when it's not so good I get so, so scared that it will end or he's stopped loving me, etc, which makes me more insecure and he gets frustrated that I don't have more faith in him and trust and all that and I try, I do try, but I come at things from a less optimistic angle and see the bad or what's missing rather than what's good and is there. Is this relationships? Am I just describing relationships? Sometimes I can't see these cycles in other peoples', but maybe it's there? When things are good again, I'm like "Well that bad stuff sure was weird, remember to have a bit more faith in him next time! There's a lotta love here!"
@HappyBeet The cycles definitely happen. My relationship used to be much more up and down, but it's evened out a lot. (I say this as we're in the middle of a disagreement and not talking as much as usual today, but we even fight better now.) I tend to get very emotional and freakoutish when things get funky so I'm working on controlling that a bit and having more faith. But I know the feeling. Stick with it and be aware of your feelings, it'll smooth itself out! And every relationship has bad and amazing, with (hopefully) a lot of good in between the highs and lows.
I just wrote a million-word rant about my frustrating semester-so-far that I'm trying to condense into a normal sized post. I've started grad school and the first semester is blowing past at an alarming rate. I'm in music, and while it's amazing and I'm grateful that I'm able to study and devote myself to the art, it's also perhaps the most goddamned frustrating thing to major in EVER. When you're in a normal "academic" class the assignments are so much more clear-cut: read these books, write this paper, research this particular topic, etc. There's a last page to turn, a final "Q.E.D." to write, black ink on white paper. In music, it's like - go practice. Throw yourself into this Sisyphean task day after day even when most of the time you can't even perceive your own progress. Make leaps and bounds on a new concerto one week; spend the next week doing damage control, wondering why the hell you sound like a howling tomcat and being unable to concentrate for long enough stretches of time. I've been having trouble, over the past year really, mustering the willpower to even get started on the task every day. I procrastinate with books and the internet, I do a million mundane errands, I suddenly decide that I MUST research some obscure facet of my vaguely-planned doctoral thesis (I've just started my Master's) conveniently right when I have a nice big chunk of time to go practice. It's basically just laziness and avoidance, and it drives me crazy even as I'm in the midst of doing it, and I'm trying to get over these mental blocks. I was finally making some good progress on it last week, then I fucked up my back at the gym and was basically bedridden and useless for three days (it has since healed, was just a pulled/spasmed muscle) and totally lost momentum. So now I'm back to square one.
I know that basically what I need to do is decouple my perfectionist tendencies from my overly self-critical ones, and harness the perfectionism instead to my unshakeable-after-all love for music and my (dormant, hiding due to general post-undergrad crisis of self-confidence) optimism that I really do have something to say and enough of a gift to make a real artist out of myself. Perfectionism could be my greatest ally but right now it's been perverted into my worst enemy. Instead of spurring me "keep working, make this better, do this as well as you possibly can" it's just yelling at me about how I'm not good enough so why bother.
I know what I need to do, I just don't know quite how to strike the match that lights the fuse that blows open the stupid little prison cell my mind has built for itself. But I really want to finally do this. I want to vanquish my little demons and get down to immense amounts of work, because this music IS my work, this is what I do, this is who I am. It's just the "getting started" that I'm still terrible at. Help?!
Edit: I always sound crazier/more fucked up in writing than I actually am.....please don't think I'm depressed or I secretly hate music or I should switch fields of study. I could just use a few tips, if anyone has them, on breaking bad mental traps and dealing with obnoxiously open-ended tasks. I'm not the only one this hopeless at being productive, am I? I'm NOT crazy, am I? *whimpers, goes to make pot of tea*
@CountessMaritza 20/10s. I swear to god, they work for everything, but especially for procrastinators like me. Get a timer, set it for 20 minutes, and just start practicing. When the time is up, get up and set it for 10 minutes and take a break. rinse, repeat as long as it takes. if you find that the hardest part is starting, you can move up to 45/15s - 45 min work, 15 min break. I find it helpful to physically separate my work space from my play space, too.
@realtalk Hmmmmm, I think maybe I might start doing that at work because lately I have been moving more and more towards killing time at work than actual work and have had a super hard time focusing. Sorry employer!
Okay, I'm trying to think of some really annoying things to give any kids who have the nerve to ring my doorbell. I'm not giving away any candy. I was thinking something like... math homework. Any suggestions? Kleenex? Ear wax vacuums? Dental floss? Something no kid wants, but is cheap, and which will make me laugh my ass off.
@carolita little things of dental floss will be appropriate!
@carolita Raisins fall in the 'just plausible enough that no one will actually think you're giving lame treats maliciously' camp. Or is that not a concern?
@carolita Nickels. As a child, I was outraged when I received them. As an adult, I find the idea hilarious. Get some new and shiny ones from the bank, as it adds to the outrage/hilarity.
@carolita In my school, at least, they always told us not to ring the bells of places with their porchlights off, so they might just not come. Plus you could just post a sign on the door that says "sorry, no candy this year." That's assuming that your first priority is not having your doorbell rung.
If not, then candy wrappers. Completely empty candy wrappers.
@carolita Packets of soy sauce, mustard, salt, hot sauce, saltines. Basically anything you get with takeout food except fortune cookies and maybe even those are fine. But condiments for sure because they look like something good at first.
@carolita Halls vitamin C drops? They're fruity and kind of good, so they fall in the "plausible enough" category. But, ya know, they're VITAMINS.
@carolita Rubber bands to start rubber band balls with?
@carolita Vocabulary word flashcards from a pack? Or cards from a regular card pack? TAROT CARDS or is that too awesome? Really creepy doll heads or something from the dollar store?
@carolita A piece of paper that just says "NO."
@carolita Toothpicks, individually wrapped. Both lame and hysterical and pragmatic (how else do you get Milk Duds out of your teeth?) and FREE.
@carolita Individually wrapped toothpicks. Lame, hilarious, low-cost (free if you raid a restaurant), and pragmatic--how else do you get Milk Duds out of your teeth?
@carolita Ugh, apologies if this is showing up as multiple posts--Hairpin appears to be going slightly haywire with the comments.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I've found it! Individually wrapped disposable, pre-pasted toothbrushes! Hahahahahaha. They're cheap, and I can always give any leftovers to overnight guests, and people still playing the field, for their hookups. My friend, Juan, used to keep tampons, contact lens cleaner, and deodorant handy for his overnight lady guests. I always though that was very hospitable of him.
Knitting? Anyone??? I just decided to knit myself a scarf because my roommate is knitting and I was having craft envy, and OMG I cannot purl. It is pathetic. Any tips on getting moss stitch down???
@Emmanuelle Cunt Yeah, my question is the same - are you holding the yarn in your right hand or your left hand?
@Gone Away Lass English, I think? Whatever it is we learn in the States. I haven't even tried alternating stitches yet, I want to just purl a 10x10 stitch swatch before I move on to trying out moss stitch.
@realtalk, I started out trying to hold the yarn in my right hand as I do while knitting, but that was a terrible idea. I'm trying to keep it in my left hand and use my right hand to wrap the yarn around the needle now!
@Emmanuelle Cunt Ahh! keep the yarn in the same hand as you do when knitting, it makes it easier to alternate between knitting and purling for moss stitch. OR switch entirely over to continental (left hand is yarn management). try this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0stkhQkvTqA
@Gone Away Lass The wrapping! I keep dropping stitches for some reason too. Thanks for the offer but I'm going to sleep now :)
I have been putting this off for a little bit, but I recently went wwoofing (working on an organic farm) in rural Quebec for a month. I have been trying to put the pieces of that time together and write the story of it, for myself, but also maybe to submit to the 'Pin. As a travel story. Would something like that be interesting for you guys? I am feeling a little shy about it. Curious to know your thoughts!
@planforamiracle I've been thinking about going wwoofing so I'd love to hear about your experience!
@planforamiracle Very interested!!!! Maybe because you were gone for so long, you can do it in installments?
@planforamiracle do it! I met a girl while travelling recently who shared her experience - it sounds like it can be good, bad and hilarious.
would you mind sharing with me, specifically, what kinds of things you would want to know? I am having trouble focusing because I was gone for a month and everything was SO DIFFERENT from my normal life. so it's hard for me to gauge if I'm rambling about something boring.
(spoiler alert: I highly recommend it!)
Writing non-white characters: I assume I am doing it wrong because so many people do it so, so wrong.
You guys feeling better this week?
I'm late to the party, but I'm gonna sum up my week anyways.
So I am not feeling as shit as last week, sleeping better, BONUS. Still a little unsteady but, hey, progress is progress. I took myself out for a walk today, took some photos of trees, and I also found THE BIGGEST LEAF IN THE WORLD. It has a soft underbelly, yup.
Also, I met Alice Coopers band this week so I am chuffed and now I am Famous People By Proxy. Or something.
Tempted to do a light version of NaNoWriMo, having not done it before but I kinda really want to. Anybody else doing it this year?
@tea sonata I am not doing NaNoWriMo but I am totally writing a novel and so are others on the pin and we should all be novel-writing-support-buddies?
@tea sonata Very much keen on this idea! I think I'm happy to write for the whole of november, but on a small scale, to start me off.
@tea sonata "chuffed" is such a good word
@Porn Peddler you are writing a novel? if your blog is any indication, it will be excellent.
@theotherginger oh geez blush city over here...
I had to unclog my toilet today, so I guess I'm a grown-up now. Yay.
uuggh! It is currently pouring rain in Toronto - I am sort of drunk and waiting for a streetcar, and reading this thread on my iphone. I just wanted to say that you are all so wonderful and reasonable people. Also - I am dressed like Napolean, and no one really got it BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU WOULD HAVE.
@Dorian Gray How could people fail to "get" a Napoleon costume?! That's pretty straightforward!
@Lucienne they were all like "why are you a pirate with a wreath on your head?" and I"m all "THAT IS A CROWN OF LAURELS, FUCK YOU SO MUCH."
@Dorian Gray On the bright side, I guess you know to ride a horse next time?
Is anyone still knocking about in here... and, if so, want to discuss Paranormal Activity 4? I keep poking around online to find a forum to read but, oh my goodness, the grammar and spelling is killing me.
I think I broke my tear ducts watching Children of Men just now. Jaysus.
@redheaded&crazie had you seen it before?
@Danzig! nope, first time!
My birchbox subscription has not been emailed. >:| It's been like a month. This is absurd XD
In other news... well, three months into a long distance relationship, and the boyfriend and I are making it work with a vaguely open, rather loving relationship. It's a fucking miracle. He signs off romantic phone messages with "Oh, fuck.. a... okay love you gotta go catch a snake, bye"
Date nerdy people. They're fantastic.
(It bit him, I learned later. That's what happens when you try and pick them up.)
@Shayna Oh I thought that might have been a euphemism
@Danzig! Heh, nope, he's a nature guy.
Are you guys still here? I need advice and missed the boat! It is about love and mental health.
@LaLoba what's up?
at your service!
I've been dating my boyfriend for about six months. I want to be with him more than I ever have another. We started living together basically because I came into a temporarily free living situation and he left his seasonal job that required him to travel between states every week. He is good to me. However, he is severely depressed and has stated that he never actually ever fully enjoys anything and is afraid he will simply just go downhill and feel worse and worse. His mother has serious depression also and he has stated before his fear that someday she will kill herself, which is a reality his family simply copes with even though she is a generally functioning (and really cool) woman.
He is not terribly busy at the moment; he is taking a couple classes in a grad program he doesn't really care about and has enough money to not have to work if he doesn't want to. I'm not having the best time either; I don't have any money and am in a school program I find.. distasteful so I can hopefully get some practical job out of it in a year. I struggle with anxiety and depression myself but can do okay when I'm taking care of myself; but it IS a struggle to not fall into an abyss of despair sometimes and it is really hard for me to be with someone else who is not entirely well. What am I supposed to do? Tell him to go to the doctor? I have, and he says he doesn't want to. Then he goes on a rant about how everything is horrible and I shutdown in response. :/
@LaLoba This is tough... but maybe you shouldn't live together? I can imagine that it's really easy for two people who are that close to isolate themselves and pull eachother down into a bad place. Especially since he is refusing to get help... I just don't think this sounds like an okay situation.
This is crazy late and I doubt anyone will see it but just in case...does anyone have recommendations for good vegetarian/vegan recipes or food blogs?
I'm neither vegan nor vegetarian but I didn't eat a lot of meat at home when I was a kid and now that I'm on my own I just don't like touching raw meats so I only occasionally cook with it. But I'm getting bored with the meals I've been inventing and so I'm looking for more food inspiration.
One caveat, I can't eat diary products and I don't like substitute food (like fake meats and cheeses) which has always been a bit of a problem with these recipes since I find there is a lot of cheese in vegetarian food and a ton of fake foods in vegan food...neither of which I like to eat. So if you have any recommendations I'd love to hear them!
Don't know where to put this, I think there should be a Hurricaine open thread (@Edith Zimmerman?). Hoping everyone is alright. I see the dearth of commenting since most Pinners are probs without power.
happy Hotel in Hanoi
cupcake my roommate made.
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